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Some pessimistic people might say that every marriage comes to an end, sooner or later. Well, Hongjoong' s marriage did too. The process wasn’t all that dramatic. They just couldn’t stop arguing about the silliest things. It may be that opposites do not attract in the end. After 22 years of marriage, they have agreed to go separate ways.
Seonghwa said, it would be better that way. Hongjoong knew it really wasn’t. But he only realized after some time, when they were already divorced. It was too late by then, and Joong was in the middle of trying to get used to living alone, so there was no turning back at the time.
After the divorce, they avoided each other intently, but it really couldn’t last forever. A special day has come, and they had to act like adults. Their sweet daughter was getting married. Ironic, right? She couldn’t invite only one of her parents. Also, none of them would ever miss out on an important occasion, such as their daughter's wedding. That’s why the divorcees were forced to sit at one table, beside each other at the wedding party. The bride's parents couldn’t be seated at two different ends of the table.
Obviously, the atmosphere was unbearably tense. The ex-husbands couldn’t even look into each other's eyes. It was already after the newlyweds first dance, and all of the people had spread out onto the dancefloor. Unfortunately, the sight of people dancing reminded Hongjoong of his own wedding. Happiness that bursted through his body and loud laughter, when he and Seonghwa got too drunk to function properly.
After all those years, Joong felt too old for partying. With age, he got sour, and grumpy, and… Well, very sad. What made him even sadder, was a devastating realization. He never fell out of love with his ex-husband. Before the court case, he was sure that the feeling burned out for good. Sike. His whole world collapsed as soon as he breathed near Seonghwa for more than a brief moment.
Hongjoong hasn't had a good look at the other for a few years. Seonghwa was as beautiful as always. He still moved in that same, hypnotizing way. His eyes still glimmered like a sky full of stars. That’s what Joong got to see, until Hwa noticed his staring. Of course, Hongjoong looked away immediately, just like in the old times. As if he still was that stupid teenager with a crush on a pretty boy.
He considered hanging himself on his own necktie for a short moment, but he’d just ruin his little girl's wedding. Anyway, he was very much aware of Seonghwa’s new partner. Joong lost count on which one it was. Their shared friends were yapping about Hwa’s new boyfriends to Hongjoong often, but he didn’t listen to it much. Maybe he just didn’t feel like these informations were of any use to him. Seonghwa had the right to live his life to the fullest. There was a time when Joong also tried dating, but it didn’t work out well. Dating apps were full of creeps, which asked for nudes or just casual sex.
That scared him off effectively. Hongjoong started to think that he wasn’t cut out for relationships anymore. Although, his failed attempts didn’t mean that he stayed celibate. Over those few years, he did have sex with some women and two guys, which didn’t treat him like a cute boy to fuck. There was only one person who could treat him like that. That person unfortunately sat next to Joong himself.
Those weird thoughts led Hongjoong to reach for a nearby soju bottle. Drinking alcohol was pretty rare for him, because of his two year anti-depressant adventure. Joong couldn't drink at all during that time. He really needed a drink right now, though. A small sigh left his lips, as he poured the transparent liquid into a small glass. Hongjoong didn’t even get to put the bottle away, because of a familiar hand that entered his field of view. Another glass slid next to his own, and he didn’t hesitate to fill it up. The bottle found its way to the table again, before Joong leaned back in his seat.
For some reason, Seonghwa wordlessly raised his glass towards the redhead, who was confused for a short moment. Hongjoong knew what that meant. He lifted his own glass up with a heavy heart in his chest. The tension in the air was uncomfortably thick, when Joong lightly bumped their glasses.
It shouldn’t be so intimate. Annoying butterflies shouldn't fly around Hongjoong's belly. As soon, as their glasses touched one another, a clinking sound cut through the loud music playing in the background. Joong quickly downed his soju, watching his ex-husband do the same, from the corner of his eye. Spicy taste hit Hongjoong's tastebuds, so he grimaced a bit, putting the glass away, and lowering his head. A heavy breath left his mouth, as he closed his eyes.
Oddly enough, Joong felt Seonghwa staring at him. It wasn’t that difficult to deduct, since Hongjoong felt that weird discomfort and he couldn’t stop squirming in his seat. “You haven’t even said hi.” Oh, hell no. Joong's heart fell into his ass, when he heard the voice that haunted him in his dreams.
Taken-aback, Hongjoong lifted his head carefully, glancing to the side and meeting those eyes, where he used to see eternity. His hands started to tremble pathetically, while Seonghwa looked at him with an unwavering stare. Confident as always. Joong instinctively fixed his posture, crossing one leg over the other. He felt pretty ashamed, because he indeed didn’t even greet his ex-husband properly.
”Thought you wouldn’t want that…” Hongjoong mumbled, awkwardly clearing his throat as he looked away towards the table. Properly looking at Hwa was nearly impossible. Joong was too damn intimidated by Seonghwa’s perfect self. The man really knew how to style himself. This time, he definitely outdid himself. Underneath a black waistcoat, was a crisp, white button up. The first button was undone, so a black, thin turtleneck peeked out of it. It hid Hwa’s perfect, long neck, which Hongjoong loved so dearly.
It didn’t get any better, when Joong saw black, leather pants that hugged Seonghwa’s waist. He had longer hair than when Hongjoong last saw him, and it fit him so damn well. Between those black strands, Joong noticed tiny flashes of silver. A heartbreaking realization crashed over him. They’re not meant to grow old together. Once upon a time, he wished to witness every little wrinkle appearing on Hwa’s face.
”Hello, Hongjoong.” As if to spite Joong, Seonghwa reached out his open hand expectantly. Fuck no. Hongjoong was pretty sure that any physical contact with his ex-husband would somehow kill him. Don’t ask about how it would even work. He glanced at the delicate hand suspiciously, but he didn’t want to be an impolite asshole. Especially towards his ex-husband. Unfortunately, Seonghwa noticed his hesitance. “I don’t bite.” Liar. A bunch of images flashed through Joong’s mind, and all of them consisted of those straight teeth digging into his skin. Park Seonghwa did bite, but only behind closed doors.
Hongjoong gulped anxiously, lifting his hand towards the other man and carefully taking a hold of Seonghwa’s soft one. He literally acted like a sapper, who’s defusing a bomb. Joong felt a gentle squeeze, and could swear that for a fleeting moment, Seonghwa’s thumb brushed softly against the top of his hand. Soon, the touch vanished, so Hongjoong moved away, as if he just got burned. Just before those traitorous feelings could crawl their way out of the bottom of his heart.
“Hi, Hwa.” Very smart. Glaring down at a white tablecloth was a great strategy. Only in Joong’s mind, though. All of the awkwardness made Hongjoong want to detonate himself. From the corner of his eye, he saw Seonghwa watching him for a moment, before finally looking away. Yay. Joong could finally breathe properly. What a success, he shook his ex-husbands hand.
The song playing changed into a slower one, as Hongjoong was brushing his fingers through his hair. As he looked down at himself, he instinctively adjusted his own pants. His crotch seemed oddly flat underneath the material. Maybe it’s only his stupid brain trying to gaslight him. If he said that he was going through a rough patch lately, it would be an understatement. Clothes didn’t seem to fit him properly. He has gained some weight, so his slight curves got a bit curvier, if that makes sense.
Shaky breath left his lips, but his dysphoric thoughts got interrupted rudely. The sound of heels clicking against the tiles reached Hongjoong’s ears, and suddenly he felt arms wrapping around his neck, along with a soft kiss placed on top of his head. “Hey, daddy.” Joong smiled involuntarily, hearing Yumi’s voice. They’ve already greeted each other, but a second time wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Hello, starlight.” His voice automatically turned disgustingly sweet, as he spoke to their daughter. Yumi straightened herself, turning towards Hwa, but he was already standing up and pulling her into his arms. Hongjoong paused for a bit, as he watched his family. Seonghwa was still his family, after all. He was grinning widely, as he hugged Yumi tightly. It was so, so bad. At least for Joong’s exhausted heart. Their daughter looked overjoyed in her beautiful, white wedding dress. Hongjoong got a bit teary eyed, when another image flashed in his head. Hwa hugging a five year old Yumi. Felt just like a knife to his heart.
Blinking a few times helped with getting rid of the tears. He already cried in the church, that was enough. Joong reached for his precious bottle of soju and poured himself a glass, although he didn’t even get to enjoy it. “Is that for me? You’re so sweet.” Yumi’s sarcastic tone didn't go unnoticed. Hongjoong lifted his tired stare, watching his daughter downing the alcohol without batting an eye. No drowning his sadness in a drink, then.
“You’re welcome, darling.” Joong grumbled reluctantly. Seonghwa giggled beside him and god, how much he missed that sound. Yumi abandoned the glass nonchalantly and grabbed her other father’s hand, leaning down towards Hongjoong.
”May I steal him from you for a sec?” Joong’s eyeroll was intense, when Yumi asked this question. The blush on his cheeks was lighter, though. Seonghwa wasn’t his anymore, so it didn’t even make sense. Their daughter just loved to irritate him.
”Go ahead. But watch out for your toes, they might get crushed while dancing with such a partne-.” Before he got to finish, he felt a small slap on his shoulder and laughed quietly, glancing at an annoyed Hwa, who was smirking slightly. Seonghwa wasn’t a bad dance partner at all, but Hongjoong just couldn’t lose a chance to tease his ex-husband.
Yumi smiled brightly, winking at him briefly, before dragging Hwa away and onto the dancefloor. Hongjoong sighed softly, pouring himself another glass of soju and swallowing the liquid in one go. One more drink wouldn’t hurt, right? He collapsed against the backrest of his chair, manspreading to feel just a little better with himself. To someone else it might’ve seemed silly, but it was quite important for Hongjoong himself. Christ, he thought about that way too much.
Joong turned his attention towards Seonghwa and Yumi, where they were slow dancing among other people. The time stopped, as Hongjoong watched the most precious people in his life. A nostalgic feeling washed over him, because the three of them couldn’t spend time together like in the old times. He regretted being so fucking stubborn. Regretted not going to a couples counseling. After the divorce, Hongjoong was a wreck. A pathetic excuse of a human being. Hongjoong couldn’t bear the loss of a person, who showed him that being himself is not a wrong thing.
Only for a moment, Hongjoong could dissociate, and stare at the table pointlessly. What interrupted him was the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor. He raised his head, noticing his son in law sitting next to him. This little bastard really had the balls to approach him like that. Hongjoong never made it any easier for Yunho. Well, he’s got the overprotective father syndrome. In the beginning, every single one of his conversations with Yunho, looked like an interrogation. At some point Yumi had to intervene herself, and put Joong in his place. He wasn’t that dumb not to understand that he couldn’t interfere in his daughter's life choices.
It was a surprise, when Yumi came to him with news about hers and Yunho’s engagement. That’s when Hongjoong finally agreed with the thought that his little princess was in love. The only right thing he could do was be happy for her. Somewhere in the bottom of his soul, he knew how hurtful and literally mind numbing love could be. He was quite experienced, after all. Seonghwa made him do the most silly things. Losing his mind was very easy, if only Hwa was next to him. While the feelings are blooming, people think that it’s the best period of their life. When everything finally crashes down, the pain is unbearable.
“Mr. Kim.” Yunho bowed deeply, causing a dramatic sigh to leave Joong’s mouth. Of course he was still sceptical, but he also felt a bit weird, when his son-in-law addressed him so formally. In front of the church, after the ceremony ended, Hongjoong overheard Yunho calling Hwa “dad”. At that moment, Joong’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. He wasn’t aware of how Seonghwa treated their daughter’s loved one. It seemed like they got along very well. Guilt simmered deep into his stomach, when he thought about his own, stupid attitude.
”Why aren’t you having fun? It’s your wedding party.” Hongjoong grumbled oh-so-sympathetically, glancing curiously at his son-in-law. Yunho scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and in the meantime Joong realized that he might’ve come off as judging. And maybe he indeed judged Yunho, but only a tiny bit.
„Well… My wife is already dancing with somebody.” The boy laughed uneasily, and Hongjoong only hummed in agreement, shifting his gaze towards the dancefloor. Yunho’s nervous attitude was ironic to Joong. Mostly, because Hongjoong was way smaller and shorter than Yunho himself. „I saw you sitting alone, sir. So I…” Yunho’s eyes travelled towards his wife dancing and they lit up immediately. Yeah, he was definitely in love with Yumi.
”So you decided to accompany the old party pooper and let him ruin your mood?” Hongjoong scoffed dryly, shifting into his seat, as he smirked. It was probably the most humorous thing that he has ever said to Yunho. The other got visibly perplexed, his eyes widening, and back straightening.
”No! I’ve never perceived you that way. I just… wanted to grab a drink with you, and ask if we could bury the hatchet, sir.” The proposition was blurted out hastily by poor Yunho. What the fuck. That was the last thing that Joong expected to happen tonight. Maybe he underestimated the way Yunho saw him. He thought they just didn’t get along, but it seemed like his son-in-law thought they were some sort of arch-nemesis.
“Ah, you want to get me drunk, and then goad me into trusting you?” Teasing the other was definitely one of Hongjoong’s favorite hobby’s. Just to come off as more dramatic, Joong lifted his eyebrow, and tried not to burst out laughing at Yunho’s terrified face.
“I- But- God-” Many unintelligible words stumbled out of the boy’s mouth, causing Hongjoong to give up completely. He grinned in amusement, leaning closer.
“Call me Hongjoong.” The tone of Joong’s voice softened a little, and he reached his hand out towards Yunho. That guy couldn’t be that awful, if Seonghwa trusted him. Hwa’s opinion always mattered the most to Hongjoong. Well, Joong wasn’t really ready to be called “dad” by some random kid, but he could as well treat him like a part of their family.
In Hongjoong’s taste, Yunho smiled a little too brightly in response. The hand squeeze made Joong wince slightly, because it was unnecessarily firm. There was no need to prove himself to Hongjoong, cause Joong himself didn’t like gyms at all. “It means a lot to me, sir… Hongjoong. Yeah, I meant Hongjoong.” The boy chuckled dryly, letting go of Joong’s hand, and standing up to pour them both a round of soju.
“You won’t butter me up. Don’t even think about it, kid.” Hongjoong murmured, while mindlessly fiddling with his silver cufflinks. Yunho giggled, and the tips of his ears turned red, as he slid a full glass towards Joong.
”You really do hate me.” That made Hongjoong shake his head, while he grabbed his glass, and watched Yunho sit back down.
”It’s not that I hate you. I just simply do not trust you.” They clinked their glasses, pouring the alcohol into their throats. “You smile like an idiot all the damn time. I prefer honest people.” From the corner of his eye, Hongjoong saw Yunho scrunching his face, as he swallowed the soju. Joong realized that they’ve never talked like this, on common ground. Not like a father-in-law with a son-in-law, but like a colleague with another colleague. Although, having such a young friend still was a strange arrangement for Hongjoong.
”Why assume that my smiles are fake?” So Yunho actually stood his ground. Actually, Joong couldn’t absolutely tell if someone’s smile was fake or not. Maybe he became so grumpy, that smiles in general became unnatural for him.
”I’m your father-in-law. You wouldn’t want to look bad in my eyes. Trying to impress me only makes it worse, though.” The tip of Hongjoong’s finger traced the edge of his glass gently, as he spoke. Yun hummed quietly, leaning his elbow on the table, as he seemed deep in thought. Joong was really curious, why those gears were turning so intensely in this puppy-like brain.
”I can’t believe you and Seonghwa were together, once. He just seems so…” Yunho trailed off again, but this time, Hongjoong felt a painful pang in his heart. He knew damn well that he didn’t ever deserve someone like Seonghwa. There was no need to remind him about that.
“Perfect.” Joong finished the other’s thought, but the word barely went through his throat. His voice was uncharacteristically strained, and a hint of distress glinted in his eyes, though he never lifted his gaze towards Yunho. He felt the other staring at him intently, though. Why was “perfect” the first word that came to Hongjoong’s mind, when Hwa was mentioned?
”No, I meant… Different.” Oh. Those words soothed Joong in a weird way. Well, not entirely, but it was better than nothing. Yunho’s not the first person to say that he and Seonghwa are polar opposites. Even Hongjoong himself was surprised that their marriage worked for such a long while. Obviously, he would never leave someone he loved so dearly just like that, but he just didn’t expect Seonghwa to bear with his annoying ass for that long. “He talks about you sometimes. But it’s like he’s not speaking about Hongjoong that I know.” Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What does that even mean? And why is Yunho telling him stuff like that? He didn’t want to know. He didn’t need to know that his ex-husband mentioned him casually.
”You’re not making any sense.” Hongjoong murmured dismissively in response, unwilling to continue the conversation. It kinda worked, cause Yunho finally shut his mouth. The silence was very nice. Very nice… Until Joong’s ears reached the familiar sound of heels clicking, along with the loud giggling of his daughter. He figured that they had finished dancing.
”What are you two plotting about?” Yumi asked with a wide smile, placing her hands on top of her husband’s shoulders. Yunho glanced up at Yumi with this stupid, pathetic expression once more.
”Nothing related to you.” Hongjoong replied teasingly, while the corner of his lips lifted slightly. After a short moment, Seonghwa joined them. Joong’s lungs stopped working properly, as soon as he saw those ruffled hair, which were probably affected by all the physical activity. Hwa smiled at him tiredly, walking over to his previous seat and lifting his leather, heeled boot up onto it, so he could tie his shoelace up. Oh, for fucks sake.
The mere act of tying shoelaces, shouldn’t be so goddamn attractive. The way those dark hair fell over Seonghwa’s face, the waistcoat stretched over his broad back, but his beautiful fucking hands were the worst. They worked swiftly with the shoelaces, causing Hongjoong’s brain to bring back sinful memories. Squelching sounds, muffled by whiny whimpers, and hot exhales on the sensitive skin of Joong’s neck. They were divorced. Hongjoong was throughly fucked.
An ongoing conversation flew right over his ears, but Yumi’s words managed to wake him up from daydreaming. “Now’s your turn.” Their daughter stood over Hongjoong expectantly, when he finally looked away from Hwa, who (by the way) suddenly stood straight. When did he even..?
”I don’t dance. You know that.” Smooth. Joong really wasn’t in the mood to stumble around in the middle of a sweaty crowd. He was just too stubborn, but also guilty, that he couldn’t make his little girl happy.
”Oh, come on! Dad agreed, earlier.” Yumi’s hand landed on his shoulder and shook him lightly, as she whined. Her puppy eyes tried to drill holes in Hongjoong’s forehead, as she tried to guilt trip him.
“Yeah, but dad number two doesn’t agree.” He pointed out, lifting up a finger to intensify his statement. Joong wasn’t about to give up. Yumi let out a drawn out groan, probably realizing that she won’t persuade him. That’s why she went back to Yunho, smiling charmingly.
”You won’t refuse, right?” She asked, fluttering her eyelashes deliberately. God, she was a literal copy of Seonghwa, somehow. Meanwhile, Yunho hesitated and pretended to think, letting out a hum. He probably also wasn’t about to stand up. Yumi glared at Yunho so intensely, that even Hongjoong got worried for his son-in-law.
”Honey, I think I know a guy that loves dancing, and surely isn’t that busy.” Joong decided to save the day, by throwing Seonghwa under the bus at the same time. He heard a disgruntled gasp above himself, as he pointed at Hwa with his thumb.
”Ya’ll are so boring.” Yumi grumbled, taking Seonghwa’s hand once again, before she started dragging him back towards the dancefloor. Hwa followed reluctantly, but turned his gaze towards Hongjoong, who smiled at him innocently. That’s how Joong got a middle finger from his ex-husband, and giggled to himself, as he dropped his gaze. He’d lie, if he said that he hadn't blushed at all.
”Why won’t you dance? You’ve had your wedding party, right?” Hongjoong almost literally flinched, when he heard the innuendo. A bunch of hurtful memories flooded Joong’s mind, and he wanted to run away.
”It’s complicated.” His hand instinctively pulled the edge of his suit jacket further down, as he started to feel uncomfortable.
”I’m listening, Hongjoong.” That made Hongjoong pause. How did the bastard manage to convince him so easily? Honestly, Joong wasn’t in the mood to tell this terrible story. He was ashamed of himself to this moment. It was silent for a long minute, before the words finally started leaving Hongjoong’s lips.
”I stumbled over my own legs, when we had our first dance. Seonghwa booked us some dance lessons before the wedding, but I only went to two of them. He was very mad at me, so he only danced with the guests for nearly half of the party.” Joong’s voice became a little unstable the more he spoke. His nails tapped restlessly against the table, as he dealt with the painful memory. Seonghwa’s disappointed face still haunted him in his dreams.
Wordlessly, Hongjoong slid his glass towards Yunho, who seemed to immediately understand the gesture. Soon enough, the bottle was emptied as Yunho filled their glasses again. Joong swiftly drank his soju, and cleared his throat, pretending that his vision didn’t just blur. Was he really that old? “I hate dancing to this day, cause I can only think of… that.” Hongjoong confessed quietly, as he glanced towards Seonghwa, who currently tried hard to keep up with their demon of a daughter. After a beat of silence, Joong was pretty sure that he permanently scared off his son-in-law, but apparently he didn’t.
”You should’ve gone to those lessons.” As if it was the funniest thing in the world, Yunho began laughing uncontrollably. That little asshole. At least he was honest. Hongjoong narrowed his eyes, sending Yunho a glare that effectively shut his mouth. The boy looked away, clearing his throat, and standing up awkwardly.
”I’ll go find Yumi.” Yunho bolted forward, hurrying away, while Hongjoong scoffed in amusement, and smiled to himself. Joong wasn’t sure why he opened up to his son-in-law. Well. Now Yunho knew that in reality Hongjoong was only a sensitive loser.
He always wished to seem masculine in the eyes of others. Fearless, strong, nonchalant… Those were the vain traits, which society thought of as manly. Hongjoong never was… all that. He was afraid of his own shadow, and sometimes he had difficulties with opening a kimchi jar. Somebody always told Joong that nothing can change how masculine he is. That he’s a man no matter what. Hongjoong really believed in that, but his mind couldn’t stop haunting him with those ridiculous worries.
Sometimes, Joong stared into the mirror, and touched the barely-even-there scars on his chest, as if he tried to prove something to himself. He always wondered if he’s enough. If someone is able to notice the smallest detail, that would give him away. Hongjoong’s therapist told him that people have their own troubles, so why would they overanalyze him? He wasn’t so sure about that.
Shaky breath left Hongjoong, and he pulled at the front of his shirt a bit, so it wasn’t clinging to his chest. Then he cleared his throat, loosening his necktie, to have the illusion of breathing more freely. Joong tried not to think, closing his eyes to calm himself down. A small shift of the air around him, made him roll his eyes under his eyelids. The chair beside him moved, and he knew what was happening.
Reluctantly, Hongjoong cracked his eyes open, just to find his ex-husband sitting next to him. Somehow, he immediately felt a bit calmer. Maybe he needed someone familiar by his side. „You don’t have to sit here anymore.” Pathetic. His head immediately turned away, when he noticed the way Seonghwa looked at him. The pitiful gaze Hwa always gave him when he was unnecessarily worried.
”Are you kicking me out?” Park Seonghwa- ever the dramaqueen. Still, Joong knew damn well that he sounded like a douchebag. No matter how hard Hongjoong tried to keep his feelings under the surface, his heart squeezed when he realized that he might’ve hurt Hwa with his attitude.
„I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, you know that.” Shyness took over Joong’s tone, and he bit his lower lip lightly. Honestly, he felt pathetic, because he thought that Seonghwa was tired of his presence. Who would want to sit next to such a fucking grump? Hongjoong didn’t want to acknowledge that the reason behind his actions is different than his own insecurities.
„Why wouldn’t I want to be in your company? I haven’t seen you in ages. I thought you were upset with me.” Just as usual, Seonghwa wasn’t afraid to say what’s on his mind. The complaint was completely valid. Joong avoided his ex-husband, as if he was a plague. But the reason behind this definitely wasn’t Hongjoong’s anger. He’d have to rip his heart out, to ever stay mad at Hwa for such a long period of time.
”I’d never- Of course I wasn’t upset with you. I’ve had to… Sort things out.” Joong confessed quietly, trying to get his shit together. Isolation was the easiest solution at that time. Yumi was the only thing that somehow connected them through those years apart. Hongjoong had to learn how to function without a husband. He barely even managed to, but somehow succeeded.
Seonghwa hummed dismissively in response, although he didn’t sound convinced. Through his peripheral vision, Joong saw the other stretching his arms above his head. Hongjoong regretted owning a set of eyes. If he stared more at the delicious view, his insides would probably do an impressive backflip. „Yumi told me that Yunho is afraid of you.” Yeah, no fucking way.
”She’s exaggerating.” The newlyweds already got lost among other guests, as Hongjoong glanced towards the dancefloor. Hwa was meant to find out about Joong’s strange attitude towards Yunho sooner, or later. Hongjoong was a little delusional to think that it would never happen.
”Trust him, please. Our starlight is happy next to him.” Seonghwa’s tone stabbed Joong in the middle of his heart. He wasn’t blind. He saw the way the pair gazed at each other. The problem was that he always thought about the future. People changed, or showed their real colors only after some time passed.
”You can’t just come to me after all those years, and tell me what to do.” Terrible idea, to talk like that to Seonghwa. He didn’t realize that yet, but as he shifted his gaze towards his ex-husband, his heart fell into his ass. Hwa hasn't moved an inch, neither did he change his expression but those eyes… Oh, those eyes. The intensity of Seonghwa’s gaze pierced through Joong’s whole soul. If they were still together, Hongjoong would probably fall to his knees and apologize a thousand times. Hwa though, would pat his head and call him a stupid mutt.
”Firstly, watch your tone. Secondly, do what you want. But don’t come crying to me, when Yumi finally stops dealing with your bullshit.” Ouch. Seonghwa will never get rid of his sharp tongue. At least Joong hopes so. Obviously, the harsh words wounded Hongjoong. The last thing he wanted was to lose his daughter. Hwa was right, as always.
”So your subtlety is on the same, poor level as always.” Joong mumbled under his breath defensively. As if Seonghwa’s directness and shamelessness weren’t the things that always got Hongjoong going the most. Hypocrite, that’s what Joong would call himself. Hwa visibly has had enough, so he scoffed bitterly, and started to stand up. Some strange instinct pushed Hongjoong to grab at his ex-husband’s forearm, and pull him down unceremonially. He has finally lost his mind. He desperately longed for Seonghwa’s proximity, though. Hwa fell back into his chair, immediately glaring at Hongjoong. “I will change, I promise.” He blurted out, trying to fix anything.
Hwa looked him up and down in suspicion, but sighed softly and rolled his beautiful eyes. “Listen. If you’re lying, I will be the first to find out.” The warning made Joong smile a little.
”No doubt.” Hongjoong murmured, accidentally let himself gaze at Seonghwa with an inappropriately loving stare. At the gorgeous slope of his nose, those dark, glimmering eyes. Not to mention those pillowy lips. Yeah, Hongjoong shouldn’t have done that. Hwa turned his head away hurriedly, and his throat bobbed as he gulped. Joong was starting to get too comfortable. Then, he remembered about Seonghwa’s new boyfriend. Damnit. “I need some fresh air.” Hongjoong managed to sputter out, just before standing up, and feeling his knees crack embarrassingly. That reminded him of his age, great.
He was still a little dizzy, although it wasn’t anything severe. His legs carried him towards the door, but he only could take three steps, until he heard the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor. “Hongjoong.” At the mention of his own name, Joong stopped immediately, and literally spinned around in his place. His body decided to betray him, as if it never forgot how to obey Seonghwa. Hwa seemed like he wanted to say something, but gave up on it in the end, starting to approach Hongjoong. “I could use a deep breath, too.” Seonghwa passed him by, muttering under his breath. Something inside Joong told him that it was starting to get dangerous.
* * *
Chilly air whipped Hongjoong’s bright orange hair lightly, causing him to scrunch his nose, every time it was tickled by one of the soft strands. April only has started, so the evenings were still a bit cold. The contrast between the temperature outside, and the one inside Joong’s body was nearly unbearable. Just as the first drops of sweat appeared on his skin, a cold gust of wind hit him, making him shudder unpleasantly.
Hongjoong shouldn’t complain, because he had Hwa next to him again. He didn’t even feel the need to run away. Seonghwa made the choice of following him by himself, and that’s what soothed Joong the most. Hongjoong felt this pleasant comfort of being in the presence of a person that has been there for the biggest part of his life.
Aside from the muffled sound of music coming from inside of the building next to them, they could hear the squeaking of children’s swings they were both sitting on. Who put a playground behind such a residence? At least they could sit there and swing pointlessly. The act shouldn’t feel so intimate. They sat in silence for a long moment, before Hongjoong’s mouth decided for him to speak.
”Why didn’t you take Sungmin with you?” Just how pathetic Hongjoong could get? He shouldn’t care. Instead of reveling in the fact of having Seonghwa to himself, he just had to ask stupid questions. Unfortunately, curiosity was eating him up inside. Was Sungmin better than him? Nicer? More handsome? Manlier? Joong felt a painful pang in his chest.
”He’s at work.” When Hongjoong heard a sigh, and a hint of sadness in Seonghwa’s tone, he immediately regretted asking.
”Couldn’t he take a day off?” The redhead snapped in annoyance, cause who the fuck would dare to stand Seonghwa up like that? Hongjoong would rather see Hwa happy, even if it meant having to bear with the presence of his asshole boyfriend.
”Hongjoong.” Ah, yes. A specific tone, which Seonghwa used, when he knew damn well that Joong was right, but couldn't admit it. Hongjoong just scoffed in disbelief, glaring down at the grass beneath his shoes. “How’s work?” Hwa swiftly changed the topic, reminding Hongjoong that he has to come back to his studio in two days.
“As always. Inspiration, no inspiration, inspiration, no inspiration.” He replied honestly, pushing himself slightly up in the air with his legs, and hearing a squeak of protest from the worn out swing. He hated speaking about work, because it got him anxious. “How’s the pensioner’s life?” Joong wouldn’t be himself, if he didn’t send a little jab towards Seonghwa. The other did retire from modeling, but hasn't given up on his other job- acting.
“Shut the fuck up.” Hwa’s wide smile told Hongjoong that he wasn’t mad at all. Joong’s heart skipped a beat, as he realized that this pretty smile was for him, and him only for this fleeting moment. The vulgar wording didn’t even bother Hongjoong, who was too busy staring at those white teeth. The corner of his own lips lifted slightly. He missed their natural, easy banter. It was an important part of their relationship, the constant teasing.
Hongjoong’s hand mindlessly clenched around the chain that connected the swings seat to the rest of the construction. He looked away once more, his throat constricting at the intense feeling of longing. He’s lost his chance, and he beat himself up for it to this day. He lost the person, who kissed his scars and constantly assured him that he’s enough. His other hand travelled to his own knee, squeezing it in distress.
”Are you alright?” The sudden question caused Hongjoong to panic. What was he supposed to answer? That he’s spiraling again? That he wants to rip his insides out, just to prove to himself that he’s not as broken as he thinks he is?
”Yup.” That was far from convincing. He could physically sense Seonghwa’s gaze on himself, which didn’t mean any good.
“I can see what’s happening. I’m not dumb.” Mmm, the all-knowing Park Seonghwa. That’s just what Hongjoong needed at the moment. Absolutely not. He’d rather come back home, take sleep meds and curl up into his soft bed. Just like a grandpa. Although, he couldn’t just let his sweet daughter down, and run away in the middle of the party. He was trapped next to his ex-husband, then.
”It’s not your business.” He grumbled, desperately trying to dismiss the painful topic. He’ll get over it. Just as always.
“I will rudely stick my nose into your precious business, then.” Oh, what the fuck? Hongjoong should’ve expected it. He rubbed at his eyes with his fingers, groaning in annoyance. Hwa wasn’t a guy to let something go that easily. “There’s no need to check yourself.” Seonghwa’s tone of voice became much more gentle. Joong heard a creaking sound of the swing, and soft footsteps hitting the grass. His breath hitched, as he felt presence in front of him. A gentle weight of hands on his chest, made him flinch a little, but he never pulled away. Just like the touch on the front of his suit jacket. “Can’t feel anything but your heart.”
That’s exactly when Hongjoong freezed, keeping his hand over his eyes. Everything became too overstimulating. Seonghwa’s words hit him square in the face. “Don’t…” Joong choked out, before breaking out into a nasty sob. That’s how easy it was for Seonghwa to undo Hongjoong entirely. Joong’s thighs were pushed apart slightly more by Seonghwa’s knees, as the brunette lightly grabbed the hair on Hongjoong’s nape, and guided him closer. At first, Joong tried his best to resist. It didn’t take long, till Hongjoong obediently buried his face in the material of Hwa’s waistcoat, wetting it with his tears.
”Shh… There you go…” Seonghwa hushed him, carefully stroking his hair. For the first time in years, Hongjoong felt at home. The emptiness in his heart filled out with peace, even if it only would last for a moment. Hwa never stopped smelling of that sweet-fruity perfume, with a hint of intense coffee somewhere underneath. Joong lifted his arms, wrapping them around Seonghwa’s hips, to hold onto him tightly, and try to make him stay. “You miserable, insufferable, moron.” Not-so-nice words sounded surprisingly soft in Hwa’s mouth. Hongjoong laughed through tears, agreeing with the other’s comment.
“Even on such a special day… I can’t let myself be truly happy.” Joong croaked out, struggling to take deep breaths, as he sniffled quietly. A small whimper left him, when he tried to suppress another sob.
”It’s not your fault.” Hongjoong nodded his head, and every thought just evaporated from his head. He’d probably agree with anything that Seonghwa would say. Fingers running through his hair, got him melting embarrassingly easily. Seonghwa’s other hand carefully cupped Joong’s chin, guiding it up. Hongjoong opened his eyes, gazing up into the gentle ones belonging to Hwa. “Just as handsome, as always.” Shivers went down Joong’s spine, at those words.
Staring mindlessly at the divine being above him, distracted him from any worries. “You’ll never learn how to tie it, will you?” Burning sensation rushed through Hongjoong cheeks, as they gradually turned redder. Seonghwa brushed away the tears from the blushing skin, before beginning to fix Joong’s necktie. Gestures like this were their nonverbal love language, while they were still together. Hongjoong shouldn’t interpret them like this anymore.
“You’ll never stop being a drama queen, will you?” Joong echoed playfully, but they both knew the answer to that question. Seonghwa laughed dryly, finishing to fix the necktie but didn't let it go. Instead, he pulled at it suddenly, yanking Hongjoong closer, and making him swallow a pathetic whine. Mortified, Joong heard an obnoxiously loud alarm ringing in his own head.
”You little prick.” Way too literal. The warmth at the bottom of Hongjoong’s stomach went right between his thighs, making him throb rhythmically. Alarms in his head only increased, when Hwa leaned down swiftly, as if he didn’t control his movements. He only stopped an inch away from Joong’s lips, most likely realizing that he shouldn’t have done that. One name repeated continuously in Hongjoong’s head like a mantra. Sungmin.
Seonghwa straightened hurriedly, averted his gaze and a beautiful, pink hue bloomed onto his cheeks. Hwa’s hand let go of Hongjoong’s tie, but it thankfully hasn't left completely. It fell onto his shoulder instead, giving a strange amount of comfort to Joong. “You know… There was a time when I wished I would get to dance with you at our little girls wedding.” Seonghwa stared into a random spot on Joong’s jacket, muttering under his breath. That’s when Hongjoong has begun a war inside his own head. The opponents were his brain vs his heart.
He caved in too damn quickly. His hand easily found Seonghwa’s waist, holding it as if it was made from glass and stroking it with his thumb. Their chests met each other, when Hongjoong stood up impulsively, and heard a surprised gasp from the other man. “May I be your shooting star?” So damn corny. What has even gotten into Hongjoong, that made him so brave?
Muffled, romantic music could be heard from inside of the building, from where they stood. Hongjoong took a step forward to get away from the swing, causing Hwa to step back. “I guess you can try.” The permission was all Joong needed, to take Seonghwa’s hand and lift it up above his head with a bit of struggle (Hongjoong would rather not mention the fact that he had to stand on his tippy toes). He clumsily spinned Hwa around, listening to a cute giggle that Seonghwa let out as he landed back into Hongjoong’s arms.
Hwa’s forearm rested on top of Hongjoong’s shoulders, as they looked into each other's eyes. “You don’t dance.” Seonghwa murmured accusingly. Joong wasn’t doing his best at controlling himself and squeezed the soft hand that he was holding, while they started to sway slowly. Dancing indeed wasn’t a Hongjoong thing to do, but he really loved making Hwa happy.
“I could even learn salsa for you.” Maybe Joong got too captivated by staring at Seonghwa’s perfect face, because he was starting to talk like a mad man. Hwa’s lips stretched into a wide smile, as he shook his head and let Hongjoong guide him as they danced.
”No more drinks for you, Mister.” Some kind of trance took over Joong, when he was gazing into his ex-husbands eyes. He looked amused, while he tilted his head, although his smile softened slightly. A stronger gust of wind swirled around them both, blowing against Seonghwa’s hair and making them a bit messy. That made Hongjoong realize something. There were no glasses on Hwa’s nose. Memories of teenage Seonghwa crashed over him cruelly. The way Hwa walked him home after one of their unofficial dates, after the lessons. At first, they planned on going onto a nice walk in the park, but the wind got too strong, so they had to find a hiding spot. They ended up in an abandoned building, where Hongjoong shyly confessed how wrong he feels inside his own body.
The memory broke his heart a little more, so he instinctively wrapped his arm around Seonghwa’s waist, and hid his face into the crook of the nice smelling neck. Joong leaned his weight onto his ex-husband, hoping it will calm him down, somehow. There was no protest in response, just Hwa’s soft cheek resting against the top of Hongjoong’s head. “You’re wearing contacts.” Joong muttered in a nosy manner, relaxing in the warm embrace, and letting Seonghwa lead the dance. The gulp next to his ear told Hongjoong that something was not right.
”Sungmin said that I look pretty like this.” This son of a bitch. Anger boiled inside Joong’s body, so he lifted his head, sending Seonghwa a disbelieving look. Hongjoong adored how mature and captivating Hwa looked with his glasses on. How could he let some asshole decide about his appearance?
“You hate putting stuff on your eyeballs.” Joong grumbles in response, mindlessly stroking Seonghwa’s hand with his thumb. The way Hwa’s eyes filled with sadness, made Hongjoong want to murder anyone who caused this. “How can you just let him do that? He doesn’t deserve you.” Protecting Seonghwa always came to him naturally. Like it was his life mission.
”I don’t want to be alone, again. I’m too old to look for someone who’s perfect, Hongjoong. What if I leave Sungmin, and nobody else won’t want me anymore? What if I’ll become an old, lonely man in a huge apartment, and a target of some broke kids, looking for a damn sugar dadd-”
Yeah, that was enough. Joong got sick of Seonghwa’s silly worries and his dramatics. His heart pained, when this beautiful human being degraded himself like that. Hwa could literally have anyone with his heart full of love and those pretty eyes. The person that Hongjoong once thought of as a soulmate, was simply terrified of loneliness.
Joong couldn’t think straight. That’s exactly why he grabbed Seonghwa's waistcoat, pulling him down into a chaotic kiss. At least it cut off the ridiculous sentence. Their lips collided against each other for the first time in ages. Hongjoong already forgot how their lips seemed to fit together perfectly, just like two puzzle pieces. A moan of relief slipped out of Joong, as he closed his eyes blissfully. Seonghwa didn’t move for a moment, until Hongjoong felt a long exhale against his lips, which Hwa seemed to hold for a good while.
Park Seonghwa has never changed. Without hesitation, he grabbed at Joong’s hips, pulling him closer. Hwa kissed greedily, with no hint of hesitation. Alcohol flowing through Hongjoong’s veins wasn't really a reason for what was happening. Joong made the decision all by himself. Not a moment has passed, and Hongjoong was already being manhandled. Pressed tightly against the wall, by the ravenous animal that Seonghwa was. Joong felt completely helpless, reciprocating every sloppy kiss and clinging to Hwa like a lifeline.
Hongjoong felt Hwa’s hands were everywhere. On his back, waist, hips, ass… Well Joong didn’t have to worry about anything, because his ex-husband knew him like no other. He trusted no one when it came to his body, but he did trust Seonghwa. There was nothing to be afraid of, when he was at Hwa’s mercy. A brief memory of being tied up to the bed, and letting Seonghwa do whatever he wanted, made Joong grunt softly. His hips moved on their own, grinding against Seonghwa’s crotch, where he felt a familiar hardness.
A whiny sound entered Hongjoong’s mouth, along with a hot tongue, which started a sloppy dance of his own. Oh, how Joong missed this long, sinful tongue that made him lose his mind so many times. Seonghwa’s thigh slipped between Hongjoong’s legs, pressing lightly, and causing a small whimper to slip out of Joong. The oversensitivity was a result of his continuous testosterone intake. Now, it was even worse, since Hongjoong was ridiculously horny, and was deprived of Hwa’s touch for a while. Every brush of Seonghwa’s fingers, made Joong shiver in anticipation.
Seonghwa knew exactly what to do, not to overwhelm Hongjoong. Although, he also knew how to do the opposite. Luckily, Joong was safe, and the other man decided to take pity on him. His hands guided Hongjoong’s hips in a lazy, sensual rhythm. Soft, wet smacking of their lips, didn’t help with the heat in Joong’s core. Seonghwa’s tongue toyed with the redheads' soft, pliant one, mixing their saliva into one, messy mixture. For some reason, Hwa made sure that none of it got onto their chins. After a longer moment, Hongjoong got a little lightheaded, realizing that he does need more air to breath properly. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss, panting right into Seonghwa’s mouth. The primal longing for intimacy, pushed Joong to cup the other’s cheeks, stroking them tenderly with his thumbs. An enthusiastic reaction made Hongjoong’s heart sing. Hwa hummed softly, pressing their foreheads together, and nudging Joong’s nose with his own.
“Now I’m definitely going to hell for that.” Seonghwa muttered under his breath, making Joong chuckle shortly. That’s true, what they’ve done wasn’t the most appropriate. Hongjoong cracked his eyelids apart, looking into Hwa’s dark eyes, which were full of desire.
“You’d fit the scenery. Hot demon with a sharp jawline.” Joong murmured mindlessly, tucking a strand of hair behind Seonghwa’s ear. The other grinned dumbly, wrapping his arms around Hongjoong’s waist and pulling him closer, making him grind against his thigh at the same time. Because of the friction, Hongjoong’s legs trembled, and a surprised squeak could be heard from the back of his throat.
”We should go back inside.” Joong wasn’t happy at all, as he heard Seonghwa’s whisper, so he pouted like the mature man he was. They got too entranced with each other, and forgot about the reality around them. Hongjoong was torn between wanting to have Hwa for himself, and the fact that it was their daughter's wedding. Well, he hasn’t seen Seonghwa in a while, but an occasion like this would never repeat itself. Joong really wanted to be there for Yumi, on such an important day for her.
”I know…” He mumbled in response, sighing softly. An irrational fear simmered inside of Hongjoong, as he thought of the possibility that he might never have another chance to hold Hwa like this.
”Thank you, Hongjoong.” Poor Joong tried not to melt, when Seonghwa’s hand started petting his back comfortingly. It was especially hard, because of the sweet tone of Hwa’s voice. “Sometimes I wish we didn’t end up like that…” It hit Hongjoong like a truck. Every single night, he wished he could turn back time, and do everything differently. Talk, instead of arguing. Stay in bed, instead of escaping to sleep on the couch. Plead for forgiveness, instead of signing the divorce papers.
”Come on…” Joong murmured, as he gently cupped the back of Seonghwa’s head and guided it into the crook of his neck. “We’ve got a bit lost, it’s alright.” The warm thigh left Hongjoong’s crotch, but they still couldn’t unglue themselves from each other. A tickling sensation on his neck made Joong’s breath hitch. Seonghwa just sniffed him. Quite intensely, by the way.
”You’re so soft…” Hwa purred like a cat, pressing his face into Hongjoong’s neck and hugging him tightly. Meanwhile, Joong tried his best to keep the blush on his face from turning too red.
“I’m masculine, not soft.” Hongjoong smirked a bit, stroking Seonghwa’s hair tenderly. He missed moments like this between them dearly. When they craved each other’s warmth, and clung to one another.
“Both.” When Hwa slowly pulled away, Hongjoong realized that it couldn’t last forever. Pleasant warmth was quickly replaced with the cool night air. Also, Joong was reminded that he was still standing on his own legs, but Seonghwa wasn’t supporting his weight anymore. He straightened up, clearing his throat awkwardly, and rolling his eyes. “I’ll get going.” Hongjoong just nodded, suppressing his disappointment.
”Yeah, me too. I just need a moment to…” Stop acting like a lovesick idiot. He couldn’t just casually say it out loud. Seonghwa seemed to hear his thoughts, and smiled softly.
”It’s okay. Breathe for a bit. Just don’t avoid me, Joongie.” The words were barely above a whisper. Hongjoong watched dumbfounded, as Hwa walked away, disappearing inside the building. He collapsed back against the wall, letting out a massive breath. As if he tried to make sure he’s awake, he wiped his face with his palms, trying not to squeal. Way too many feelings flowed through his poor heart. Apparently, Seonghwa didn’t hate him. He almost cheated on his boyfriend with Hongjoong. Some dark part of Joong’s mind whispered to him that the damn bastard deserved it.
* * *
After finally coming back, Hongjoong wandered pointlessly around the hall, pretending to try various fancy desserts that were scattered around the room on small tables. At some point, Yumi found him and bugged him about the fact that he and Seonghwa disappeared for a while. He swiftly lied to the tipsy girl, pushed her into Yunho’s arms and ran away from the crime scene. Smooth. A longer moment passed, before Hongjoong realized that he instinctively indeed avoided Hwa. When he was entering the hall, he could see Seonghwa speaking with Yunho’s parents, before the man disappeared in the crowd. A new task for Joong was finding his ex-husband. It wasn’t that hard, cause he literally sat in his seat beside the table.
Hongjoong had to prove himself. Prove that he wasn’t a coward. With quick steps, Joong arrived next to Seonghwa and sat down on his own chair awkwardly. He glanced at Hwa unsurely, but this annoying beauty was already staring back at him with a gentle smile. Hongjoong involuntarily reciprocated the smile, unknowingly staring at Hwa with the biggest puppy eyes. He crossed his legs, leaning over suddenly.
Seonghwa seemed a little taken aback, but Joong wasn’t about to do anything mischievous. He wouldn’t even have the balls to do any risky stuff in public. Hongjoong got closer to Hwa’s ear, covering his lips with his hand. “Yumi noticed we weren’t here.” Whispering wasn’t all that necessary, because of the loud music. Hongjoong just searched for an excuse to be closer to Seonghwa.
He leaned back slightly, glancing at Hwa’s widening smile. “Yeah? Did the 40 year old man get interrogated by his daughter?” Seonghwa definitely mocked him, and Hongjoong couldn’t stop himself from smacking him on the shoulder, as Hwa giggled in amusement.
Meanwhile further into the room, Yumi swayed slowly in her husband's arms. Her eyes were narrowed, as she observed her parents silently. “Aren’t they divorced?” Great question. Yunho also stared at the pair, who seemed very engaged in their conversation. It seemed very suspicious for Yumi, that they suddenly stopped acting like morons towards each other. They left for a long moment, then came back and suddenly chirped with one another like teenagers.
“Yeah? They were at each other's throats for about a year before getting divorced. It’s like they came back to how they were in the past.” She murmured, glancing up at her husband.
”Maybe they just needed some time apart. Y’know, the old flame never dies.” Yumi just lifted her eyebrow, humming absently. As long as she can remember, her fathers were always absolutely infatuated with each other. She was more than surprised, when they started yelling at each other for the stupidest reasons.
“Seonghwa has Sungmin.” She sighed quietly, assuming that her father would never cheat on anybody. Reading his mind wasn’t possible, though.
”Well, he’s more like a hookup, than a proper boyfriend, doesn’t he?” Yunho grinned stupidly, making Yumi crack a small laugh. It was a cruel truth. Yeah, Seonghwa did refuse to leave the guy, but he also didn’t really put his heart into the relationship.
“You’re right…” She nodded reluctantly, standing up on her tippy toes to kiss her husband's cheek. As much as she loved being nosy, she didn’t want to interfere into her parent’s love life. She might’ve ruined things between them, and she did want them back together, on the bottom of her heart. Maybe she would get to see Hongjoong smiling more often.
* * *
It should’ve been obvious that this evening would end this way. Joong felt Seonghwa with all of his senses. The weight of Hwa’s body on his own, hungry lips on the skin of his neck, and most importantly, a hard penis grinding impatiently against his thigh, through the fabric of their clothes. Oh, by the way, they haven’t even left the taxi yet. Hongjoong felt like he should’ve felt a bit more ashamed. It may have been because of the few glasses of soju. Or maybe it was Seonghwa, who shielded him from all that was wrong.
As the car finally stopped, Hongjoong was already on the edge. All of the attention, almost brought him to a pathetic orgasm in a fucking taxi. Having to leave, saved Joong from the embarrassment. The way Seonghwa pulled him out of the vehicle excitedly, reminded Hongjoong of the adorable side of his ex-husband.
If someone took their time to really get to know Hwa, he turned out to be a chaotic, slightly eccentric guy, who never lacked empathy. Hongjoong always loved the way Seonghwa could be all over him, overwhelming him like the intense persona he was. You can only imagine how they were, while they were still young.
The elevator journey was full of giggling, and many sounds of kisses, exchanged between the divorced couple. Soon, they arrived at the right floor, so Hwa tapped in the apartment code, walking in as if it was his own. They lived here together for many years, so the place was still their home, even if Seonghwa moved out. He will always be welcome there.
A moment has passed, and their shoes were already off. Hongjoong has run out of patience, so he entered Hwa’s personal space, grabbing at his cheeks, and pulling him down into a warm kiss. Seonghwa gasped in surprise, chuckling softly against Joong’s lips. Hwa’s hands wrapped around his wrists, but haven’t pushed them away, just holding them in place. “Will you give me a moment to freshen up?” Absolutely fucking not. Seonghwa tried to distract him, nipping at his lower lip and pulling at it lightly.
“No. I want you just as you are.” Hongjoong grumbled in response, slipping his hands under Hwa’s suit jacket, and causing it to fall to the floor.
”I stink of alcohol and sweat.” The warning was so unnecessary. As if stuff like that ever bothered Joong. How could he ever be disgusted by the love of his life? Oh. Right, Hongjoong realized how accurate the term was. Seonghwa absolutely was the love of his life. Nobody else.
”I do, too. Do you want me to shower?” He purred challengingly, as he started to swiftly unbutton the other’s waistcoat. Hwa smirked in a too-damn-cocky manner, grabbing at the back of Hongjoong’s head, and yanking him closer. That weirdo pressed his nose against Joong’s hair, breathing in deeply. Hongjoong freaked out a bit, as Seonghwa sniffed at him shamelessly.
”Can’t smell anything.” Hongjoong couldn’t help cackling, when Hwa grumbled. Seonghwa’s waistcoat also fell to the floor, so Joong began to do the shirt next.
„Wait until you pull my pants down.” Such a poet Joong was. He said that half-jokingly, succeeding in making Seonghwa laugh heartily. This beautiful sound caused butterflies to fly around Hongjoong’s stomach. Hwa’s hands moved to his chest, pushing him against the wall with his whole body. Hongjoong literally squeaked, when he felt the weird sensation of wet tongue in his earshell.
”Cannot wait to do that, my darling.” Seonghwa’s whisper tickled Joong’s ear, making him shiver lightly. As Hongjoong tried to unbutton the damn shirt, his hands trembled terribly. He got sick of fumbling with the buttons, so he basically ripped the two last ones apart. “Fuck, Hongjoong.” It sounded more like a moan, than anything else. Joong felt a steady pulsing between his legs, and suddenly Seonghwa’s lips were on his own. Without hesitation, he reciprocated the kiss, tangling their tongues together. Kissing Hwa was truly addicting. Their lips moved in a practiced, memorized rhythm that they had learned years ago.
Sadly, the kiss was broken, when Joong finally got rid of the others shirt, just to encounter another obstacle. A goddamn turtleneck. “What do you need so many fucking layers for?” Hongjoong growled in irritation, hearing a quiet scoff. The warmth of Hwa’s body disappeared, so Joong whined softly in disappointment.
“You were almost drooling all over it a few hours ago, now you’re suddenly one to complain?” Seonghwa mocked him, quickly pulling off the offending turtleneck, so it joined the rest of his clothes. Hongjoong’s brain shut down for a moment, as he gazed at the newly exposed expanse of smooth skin. His lovely, tanned vampire with a tiny waist, looked just as sinful, as always.
”No complaints.” Joong mumbled absentmindedly, reaching grabby hands towards this beautiful waist. Its owner rolled his eyes, smacked Hongjoong’s hands away. The redhead tried his best to look like a kicked puppy, who just got his bowl of food taken away.
”Nuh-uh. Hands onto the wall. It’s my turn now.” Seonghwa ordered, leaving no room for protest. Joong groaned grumpily, but obviously surrendered, holding his hands against the wall, next to his hips. “So good for me, Joongie. Just like that.” Hwa always rewarded him for obedience. Hongjoong melted involuntarily, soaking up the praise, and feeling a tender kiss on his cheek.
When Seonghwa started unbuckling Joong’s belt, the latter swallowed thickly. He felt a familiar click, and the leather hit the wooden floor panels. The sounds turned muffled, Hongjoong got lost into his own thoughts. The act of taking his pants off, turned into a humiliation ritual after the divorce. His next lovers were very confused by the concept of Joong’s genitals. However that sounds. They asked a lot of questions, which Hongjoong wouldn’t mind that much, if he didn’t have to teach a whole biology lesson, as an answer.
This time was different. Because his safe place came back. Seonghwa just knew. Joong didn’t have to explain how, or why. Didn’t have to teach Hwa, how not to bite his dick off, or how not to make him uncomfortable. Seonghwa was there every step of Hongjoong’s journey through the treatment. Watched him grow, got just as excited as Hongjoong was, and supported him as much as he could. Joong will never stop being thankful for all that.
Hongjoong was only pulled out of his thoughts, as Hwa left a sweet peck on his lips, before getting to his knees. Wow. Joong really has forgotten how gorgeous Seonghwa looks in this position. Who wouldn’t want a pretty man on his knees for them? Probably lesbians. Or straight men. Anyways, Hongjoong was pathetically gay for his ex-husband. Especially when he took care of Joong like now, carefully pulling off his shoes and pants. With Seonghwa, Hongjoong felt like a gift being unwrapped, sometimes. Like he was actually special.
A small look from Hwa, was a silent question for a permission. Desperate Joong, didn’t even need to think twice, and nodded his head. His underwear disappeared in record time, and he was thankful for himself that he didn’t wear a packer. Well, it made him really uncomfortable earlier, but right now it meant less layers to remove. Hongjoong couldn’t even think of how the room temperature hit his swollen cock, because Hwa was already placing his thigh upon his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you.” The whisper tickled Joong’s sensitive skin, because Seonghwa literally pressed his nose against the trimmed, curly hair between the other’s thighs. For fucks sake, Hongjoong was about to explode from embarrassment. Hwa was such a sweet freak.
”Quit sniffing.” Joong croaked out, blushing like a madman. Just to hold back from touching Seonghwa, he had to close his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall, as he clenched his fists tightly on his sides. Hwa’s obnoxious inhale was going to be the death of Hongjoong. He should be already used to it. It’s not like Seonghwa became a pervert the same day. Since they met, Hwa was obsessed with everything that was natural, primal or just purely nasty.
”You smell so warm, puppy.” Oh. Joong mewled in protest, but his hips had other plans, casually jolting forward, pressing his cunt right against Seonghwa’s lips. Hongjoong really hated how his body betrayed his brain. Of course, Hwa just smiled like the tease he was. “I won’t keep torturing you.” Seonghwa indeed meant what he said. Without making Joong wait any longer, he sunk his teeth into his plush thigh. Hongjoong hissed in this pleasant pain, but Hwa moved to kiss his outer labias gently. It didn’t take much, till Seonghwa’s tongue dipped between them, tasting Joong, but avoiding his dick deliberately. Rude.
A low moan left Hwa’s throat, and made Hongjoong’s breath hitch. Seonghwa acted as if he really missed doing this. Joong wasn’t given much time to dwell over it, because Hwa started eating him out, as if he starved for a very long time. Hongjoong flinched in surprise, when this long tongue dived inside of him, stretching lightly his soft inner walls. The muscle danced with purpose, but Joong clearly felt some kind of urgency in Seonghwa’s movements. What made Hongjoong even more crazy was Hwa’s beautiful nose, bumping against his cock in a teasing, almost maddening way.
That was it for Joong’s patience. His hands flew down, burying themselves in Seonghwa’s soft hair, only to pull him closer. If it was even possible to do so. Hwa’s groan was muffled against his wet pussy, that the other couldn’t unglue himself from. Hongjoong’s breath stuttered, as Hwa lifted his head, because he knew damn well what would happen. His dick got surrounded by a warm, moist inside of Seonghwa’s mouth. Hongjoong literally saw Jesus Christ in front of himself for a short moment.
The first, broken, whiny sound escaped Joong’s mouth, echoing through the room. For a short moment he thought that he might’ve lost consciousness, but it was only a false alarm. His breath turned into irregular, heavy panting, as Seonghwa began bobbing his head. The tongue circling around Hongjoong’s puffy length, didn’t help in keeping him sane at all. Joong got effectively reminded of what nirvana feels like. His eyelids cracked open, so he could look down into a pair of doe, sweet eyes gazing up at him.
Suddenly, Hongjoong was very fucking close. His whole body was so, so fuzzy, because Hwa was next to him, pleasuring him, and just… being there for him. The devoted look that Seonghwa sent him, pushed him further into that soft, mushy state of mind. Joong couldn’t care less about how loud he was, when the other sucked him off enthusiastically. Every brush of Seonghwa’s tongue, pulled little whines out of him, which he didn’t quite register.
Instead of pulling like a madman, Hongjoong stroked Hwa’s hair gently with his shaky hand. The thigh pressed against Seonghwa’s shoulder, started to tremble lightly, and Joong already knew he was gone. Everything felt too nice, but he needed just a little more. The only solution he could think of, was unfortunately begging. Or maybe fortunately, because Hongjoong loved to beg, like the little slut he was. “Please…” He managed to mumble, receiving an immediate answer. Hwa’s hand slipped under his shirt and onto his hip, squeezing it lightly. It’s as if Seonghwa needed some kind of leverage, to intensify his movements. Hwa gathered more spit inside of his mouth, sucking sloppily onto Hongjoong’s cock, as his tongue did wonders. It made Joong’s legs turn into jelly.
The orgasm hit Hongjoong like lightning. Fireworks exploded behind his eyelids, and his heel dug into the muscles of Hwa’s back. His whole body winced uncontrollably, chasing the warmth of Seonghwa’s mouth with his length. Hwa tried to prolong his pleasure, and it did work for a bit, but then it became too much. Hongjoong whimpered weakly in overstimulation, writhing under the intense attention. Unable to take it anymore, feeling his belly contract from the overbearing stimulation, he pushed Seonghwa away clumsily. There was no resistance, so Joong could finally come down in peace, focusing on the heat waves that went through his body.
A soft, grumpy sound left Hongjoong’s lips, when he felt air brutally hitting his twitching dick. He didn’t even notice closing his eyes, but apparently he did, because they opened. Joong’s head laid back against the wall, as he panted quietly, feeling gentle kisses placed on his thigh. Although lightheaded, Hongjoong noticed Hwa standing up, and hissing quietly. The poor guy must’ve been in pain after kneeling on the floor for so long. Seonghwa didn’t even complain, just wrapping himself around Joong, and dropping his head onto his shoulder lazily. Hongjoong smiled weakly in giddiness, wrapping his arms around Hwa’s neck to hold him close. “Do you need a moment?” Seonghwa murmured quietly, forcing Joong’s brain to actually work.
Yes, he was tired, but the wetness between his thighs only grew, as he thought of all the things Hwa could do to him. Hongjoong missed this too much, and longed for being taken care of. “Nah… Need you.” It was clearly enough to Seonghwa. Soon, Joong was already lifted up, wrapped around the other like a koala. Now Hongjoong regretted whining every time Hwa left for the gym in the past. Seonghwa’s stupid muscles were ridiculously sexy. Joong just had to kiss him passionately, pushing his own tongue into the other's mouth without hesitation.
He didn’t quite register their way to the kitchen, but the fact was brought upon him cruelly, by a cold, marble island top under his ass cheeks. Hongjoong mewled startled into Hwa’s mouth, but the kiss never broke. Seonghwa’s hands travelled over his body for a moment, as their tongues pressed repeatedly against one another. One of Hwa’s wandering hands carefully slid down between Hongjoong’s thighs, fingertips tracing the slick on his skin, that already started creating a pathetic puddle onto the grey marble. Obviously, Joong jolted with a soft squeak, still sensitive after the first time. “Shhh… May I?”
”Yeah. You may, Angel.” There was no other person that Hongjoong would let do this. He only trusted Seonghwa. Trusted, that Hwa won’t perceive him differently, after such an intimate gesture. Well, Joong was aware of the fact that being penetrated wasn’t a feminine thing. But sometimes, even the smallest details brought dysphoric thoughts into Hongjoong’s mind. He could have quitted years ago, but Seonghwa showed him how much pleasure this type of touch can bring. No matter how it sounds, Joong loved being full. But only full of Seonghwa.
A familiar nickname leaving Hongjoong’s mouth, made Hwa’s eyes glisten prettily. Seonghwa pulled him into a much gentler kiss, causing Joong to melt into it momentarily. Their lips brushed against each other lazily, meanwhile Hwa took a hold of Hongjoong’s thigh, pushing it up lightly, spreading his legs at the same time. With Seonghwa’s guidance, Joong bent his knee, propping his sole up on the kitchen island. It made him a tiny bit embarrassed, the way he was so exposed. Ngh.
The new position got Hongjoong leaning back slightly, propped up with his hands on his sides. Hwa hasn't broken the kiss, following the redhead. Joong still tasted his own cum on Seonghwa’s lips, but it turned him on even further. A small grunt from Hongjoong got lost inside their mouths, when Hwa squeezed his thigh playfully. It wasn’t too long, until the first, slim finger slipped inside of him slowly, with an embarrassing squelch. Joong’s eyes cracked open, so he could unabashedly stare at Seonghwa, who was currently very preoccupied with kissing him.
His mind was a bit hazy, as he stared at those closed eyelids fluttering cutely with every firmer move of Seonghwa’s lips. Right in front of himself, Hongjoong had this perfect nose, which only a moment ago, still was damp with his own release. Hwa seemed to read his mind, because when Hongjoong pushed his tongue forward, the other sucked on it with a nasty, wet sound. Joong’s observation couldn’t last forever, because another finger joined the other one inside of him, stretching him further. This time, it was the finger that used to have a wedding ring wrapped around it.
A low purr rumbled in Hongjoong’s throat, as Hwa unglued himself from his lips and moved to his cheek instead, pressing a lingering kiss there. “Are you leaking so much for me, or is there another reason?” Honestly, fuck this guy. Joong was blushing incredibly hard. Especially because of the squelching sounds made by the movements of Seonghwa’s fingers, as they slid in and out, occasionally massaging the sensitive spot inside Hongjoong. His body twitched a little, because he didn’t quite got over the first orgasm, and Hwa knew damn well what he was doing.
Hongjoong’s testosterone therapy affected him in weird ways. For example, he could completely soak through his underwear, when he got turned on. This time Hwa’s hand became the victim of his… predicament. Seonghwa didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed annoyingly satisfied with himself.
Dummy.- Joong thought eloquently.
“Jesus, just shut it.” Hongjoong whined helplessly, biting onto his lower lip, as he heard a low giggle coming from Hwa. The pleasant warmth Joong felt was caused by Seonghwa’s long fingers, reaching a bit deeper than his own. They touched spots that made Hongjoong see stars. He wrapped his free leg around Hwa’s hip, firmly pulling him closer. Seonghwa probably took it as an invitation, and his movements became more intense, turning Joong’s insides upside down.
The continuous abuse on his poor g-spot, got Hongjoong moaning loudly, and throwing his head back. Muscles in Joong’s thighs tensed up, pulling them back together, but Seonghwa forcefully held them open. “Mnghhhnhg, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong slurred out, not making any sense. The way Hwa held him in place, gave him some sick feeling of satisfaction. Furthermore, Seonghwa stared down right onto Joong’s cunt, with red cheeks, and a focused expression.
Luckily, Hwa didn’t stare for too long, because he leaned in once more, peppering Hongjoong’s neck with slow, reverent kisses. The new position allowed Joong to lean his forehead on the other's collarbone, so he could notice the erection straining against the leather of Seonghwa’s pants. Awful idea. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop- I beg you-” He babbled desperately as soon as he realized how close he was. The tension inside his lower belly threatened to snap, making him want to get rid of it as soon as possible. Hongjoong’s ears were only filled with the filthy sound of wet smacking, as Hwa’s hand hit his pussy repeatedly. His growth was strangely numb because of the overstimulation, but at the same time Joong felt everything too intensely.
The burning sensation between his legs told him the end was nearing too damn fast. The tension grew, grew and grew, until everything turned white in front of Hongjoong’s eyes. He was hit in the face by a sudden wave of pleasure, writhing in Seonghwa’s arms, and whimpering pathetically. His tired body tried to resist, but if Hongjoong could control it, he would allow everything.
For some reason, the orgasm felt never ending. Hwa never stopped thrusting his fingers inside of him. Hongjoong panicked a little, because his useless brain managed to deduct what Seonghwa wanted him to do. “Goddamnit, Seonghwa. You know what’ll happen-“ Joong grumbled as a warning, trying hard to hold his body back from squirming so much. Well, he did feel incredible, but he wasn’t in the mood to mop the kitchen floor. He drank way too much of soju and coke.
“Give me everything, please. Please, Hongjoongie.” Seonghwa sounded even more out of it. Joong was absolutely crazy for this man. He knew damn well that a one, single word would make Hwa stop touching him. He didn’t say a word.
Hongjoong’s arms decided to give up, so he fell back onto the kitchen island. He held onto the edge of it for dear life, his back arching as Hwa’s fingers massaged the spongy spot inside of him. Everything got so much, that he started sniffling softly without even realizing. Seonghwa, the fucking asshole, made use of this position, and let go of Joong’s thigh, pressing the free hand right onto his lower stomach. Obviously, his bladder also got pressed on, allowing Hwa to achieve his goal. Hongjoong cried out weakly, as sweet relief flooded his body. While he flooded his ex-husband. Not funny.
Joong listened in embarrassment, as a stream of liquid pushed Seonghwa’s fingers out of him, and hit the skin of his bare chest. He heard some of it land on the floor, and decided to hide himself from the world, crossing his forearms over his face. He trembled like a leaf, letting out a soft, bashful sound. The feeling was too good.
For a moment, Hongjoong just tried to catch his breath, feeling tender kisses placed along his damp thigh. Hwa clearly tried to taste as much as he could. What a pervert. Seonghwa’s lips started to inch between his legs again, making Joong flinch at the mere thought of being touched again. With his hand, he weakly pushed away Hwa’s head, saving himself from further overstimulation.
“Sorry, sweetheart.” Those gentle words, along with Hongjoong’s favorite nickname, made him hum softly. He felt arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him up carefully into a sitting position. Joong instinctively held onto Seonghwa’s biceps, his hazy eyes glancing at his soaked chest and pants.
By the way, the sweet moron smiled from ear to ear. Hwa’s eye corners crinkled adorably, while his white teeth blinded Hongjoong in a really pleasant way. Seonghwa looked absolutely ecstatic. “What’re you grinning like an idiot for? You’re soaked.” Joong croaked out sourly, pretending not to care about the sight of Seonghwa covered in his come.
”I’m grinning because I am soaked.” Hwa giggled in delight, pressing Hongjoong against himself, and making his clothes wet in the meantime. That was enough to make Joong gasp in surprise, as he felt Seonghwa’s face burying itself into his hair. Hongjoong adored the way Hwa could act so carelessly, just enjoying their closeness with no worries.
”My jacket…” The complaint was halfhearted, since Joong didn’t mind that much about his stupid clothes. He did it, just to get a reaction out of Seonghwa. Some whining usually earned him some head pats or cooing.
“Oh, but you do have a washing machine, don’t you?” Gentle teasing was accompanied by Hwa’s fingers tickling lightly the skin underneath Hongjoong’s chin. Joong ducked his chin, squealing as he tried to avoid the attack. The same hand spared him, cupping his cheek instead. It made him wince, as soon as he smelled his own slick on Seonghwa’s skin. “It’ll wash off. Don’t worry, darling.” Joong’s heart skipped a beat, when Seonghwa spoke so sweetly and kissed his temple, which was still beaded with tears.
”Don’t talk to me like that, or I’ll get too attached.” Suddenly, the concerns about future consequences of their recklessness, started bugging Hongjoong annoyingly. Just like a normal person would do, Joong felt bad for having sex with a taken man. Even if it was his ex-husband.
”It’s too late for thinking, Hongjoong. I will break up with him. As soon, as possible.” Seonghwa’s words caused Joong to lean back, look at the other in disbelief. Hwa was too spontaneous, just like always. Did he lose his mind?
“Seonghwa, stop it. You’re not thinking clearly-“
”I’m not drunk! I’ve only had a couple of drinks-”
”You’ve just had your tongue up my cunt!” It successfully managed to shut Hwa up. Unfortunately, it also got him to make the most devastating puppy eyes at Hongjoong. That gaze didn’t help, because Joong was too weak for Seonghwa. This silly, bunny looking man just refused to leave Hongjoong’s heart.
“That’s one way to put it…” Hwa muttered under his breath, never letting his gaze leave Hongjoong. The atmosphere grew thick, because Joong got too self aware. He let it happen. Let it happen like a teenager, who doesn’t have any control over his urges. Shame was eating Hongjoong up from the inside.
”I feel awful. You cheated on him with me. Don’t think with your dick, when you decide to break up with someone.” Too much. Joong realized that he said too much, only after Seonghwa’s hand slipped from his cheek, and he started quivering all over. It was as if Hwa got slapped in the face. He turned away from Hongjoong, taking a few steps forward, running his hands down his face. A trembling breath left Hwa’s lips, before he started speaking.
”I’ve missed you every single day. After I left, I woke up in the middle of the night many times, searching for you on the other side of the bed.” Seonghwa’s voice was unstable, as he spoke. He wrapped his arms around himself, like he tried to make himself smaller. It couldn’t be true. At least Joong’s brain refused to acknowledge it. “I compared everyone to you. Sungmin too. He doesn’t laugh at my stupid jokes, his skin isn’t as soft, he always puts things back in their place. Also… he says I’m childish, when I play Animal Crossing.” Kicking Hongjoong in the face would’ve hurt less than that.
Joong’s brain malfunctioned, because of the confession, besides Seonghwa’s teary voice. On one side, his chest was contracting painfully, but on the other, some weird kind of relief washed over him. The way Hwa talked about him was beautiful. His hands clenched involuntarily, as he dropped his head. “It’s not that simple-”
”Don’t you dare try and lecture me. I know what I’m doing. As far as I’m informed, we’ve raised a whole goddamn child together. I know your annoying pain in the ass well enough, to make a decision because of you.” Right. Undeniable argument. Unfortunately, Hongjoong was also as stubborn as a mule. His lips parted, when he tried to argue, but Seonghwa didn’t let him say a word. “I’m not forcing you to be with me. I just finally realized that… I need someone who will accept me as I am, just like you did, back then.” Yeah, Joong fucked up. Hongjoong started panicking, because Seonghwa thought he was being rejected. There wasn’t a universe where Joong would reject this incredible man.
A deafening alarm was screeching in Hongjoong’s head louder than ever. Letting Hwa search for someone new, would be plainly foolish. Apart from being stubborn, Joong was also disgustingly possessive, when it came to Seonghwa. He sat in silence for a moment, before speaking. “I’ve missed you, too. Your voice, listening to you chirping about those games I don’t quite understand… That silly sound of a lightsaber, when you remembered that it exists in our wardrobe, once a year. Your concerning obsession with my thighs, and… The way you always made me feel like there’s nothing wrong with me.”
There, Hongjoong finally talked about his feelings. It was like a massive weight falling off his heart. What he said was everything he carried for the past years. With Hwa, he didn’t feel the need to prove himself. His mind was actually connected to his body, and there was no mask that could fall any moment. Beside Seonghwa, Joong was only a human.
As he stared at the floor, he noticed his own bare lower half, so his cheeks reddened immediately. Hongjoong hopped off the kitchen island, walking out of the room. He entered a small corridor, which was connected to every room in the apartament. Joong just had to get himself some fresh clothes, and take a long, long shower. His legs were still jelly-like, but he managed to take a few steps. Only a few, cause something, or someone crashed right against his back. Well, that certain someone, was a bit taller than Hongjoong, broader, and really warm- Yeah, it was Park Seonghwa. What a shocker.
It happened so suddenly, that Joong freezed in his place, feeling a pair of arms wrapping around his middle. The embrace felt strangely grounding, along with the press of Seonghwa’s face against Hongjoong’s shoulder. When Joong heard a soft whimper near his ear, his heart responded with an unpleasant squeeze. Its other half was really close. “Don’t cry, angel.” The words were delivered in the softest voice Joong could muster.
He reached back, brushing his fingers through Hwa’s hair soothingly. Hongjoong couldn’t stand the way Seonghwa trembled against him. His first instinct was longing for making his love happy. “I always adored your beautiful way with words.” Hwa whispered weakly, taking slow, deep breaths, as if trying to calm himself down. It wasn’t that Joong considered himself some kind of a poet, but he’s always had a knack for creating sentences. Well, he was a songwriter, in the end.
”That’s just what I think… I want to be with you. I cannot stand the thought of you being with anybody else. I’m just… very fucking jealous. It may be selfish, but I don’t want any other person to touch you like this. Only I know what you really need.” At this point, every single thought poured out through Hongjoong’s throat. The tremors in Hwa’s body gradually stopped, as he soaked in the meaning of Joong’s words. Suddenly, Seonghwa’s hands became much heavier, where they held Hongjoong’s chest.
”Only you.” Fuck. Hwa’s tone dropped into a raspy one, making Hongjoong’s brain short circuit. He felt soft lips pressing tender, although wet kisses along the side of his neck. Joong knew that he had successfully awakened a beast.
“Only me.” The confirmation made Hongjoong realize how little oxygen he had in his lungs. He didn’t even blink, and Hwa was already unbuttoning his jacket along with the shirt under it. Seonghwa unglued himself from Joong’s back, only to get rid of those pieces of fabric. The last thing Hongjoong had on his body were the black socks on his feet. It made him pleasantly embarrassed, although he wasn’t given the time to blush, because Hwa was already pulling him back by his hips. Seonghwa’s hips ground against Joong’s backside, letting him feel the leather of his pants, and the hard length underneath the fabric.
“What do I need right now, then?” Hwa’s nose moved between Hongjoong’s hair, tracing the sensitive scalp with the tip of his nose, and taking a deep inhale. Goosebumps spread all over Joong’s skin, as he swallowed, and silently debated on an answer. It wasn’t that hard, because he knew Seonghwa’s temper.
“Pinning me against the wall, and fucking me, only for your own pleasure.” Hongjoong said lowly, hearing Hwa hum in response, as if he was deciding on what to eat for breakfast. Joong was pretty aware that Seonghwa took many things too literally, and he proved it right once again. Hongjoong’s hands flew towards the wall, when he got pushed onto it. A solid body pressed against Joong’s back, finally letting him feel this warm skin on his own. He could hear the impatient sounds of Seonghwa opening the fly of his pants, and he got unbearably hot all over.
”Speak up, if you don’t want any of this.” The sentence was slurred, but it proved that Hwa wasn’t entirely gone, yet. Hongjoong just rolled his eyes, feeling the smooth tip of Seonghwa’s cock trembling lightly as it pressed against his entrance. It just told Joong how shaky Seonghwa’s hands were. Hongjoong had had enough, so he bent down a little, presenting himself like a bitch in heat.
“Stop with the pleasantries, and fuck me properly.” Worked well enough. In a swift motion, Hwa thrusted inside without any unnecessary gentleness. The slide couldn’t be any smoother, due to copious amounts of Hongjoong’s slick. But the sudden stretch got Joong gasping either way. His nails dug into the wall, as he listened to Seonghwa’s sweet mewl. Said man leaned heavily against Hongjoong, as if all of his muscles relaxed at the same time.
”Joong-ah, you’re so damn-”
”Warm, yeah.” Joong breathed out, swallowing thickly. That’s what Seonghwa always said after entering Hongjoong. Oh, Joong always dreamed of finding out what it’d feel like to be inside of such a warm, wet tightness. He was too small to even slide inside of Hwa, so the only solution was strap-ons, which didn’t give him that kind of experience, anyways. Seonghwa always told him that he shouldn’t worry about it. Just to satisfy Hongjoong’s urges, Hwa let him grind onto the pretty, pink rim between his butt cheeks. The first time this happened, Joong came after 40 seconds of desperate humping.
“Tight.” Hongjoong literally whined when he heard the comment. Seonghwa’s labored breathing, meant that it was a compliment.
”Don’t say stuff like that, idiot.” He grumbled in response, but it didn’t offend Hwa as it should, cause he carelessly started peppering kisses over Hongjoong’s cheek. Joong, like the tsundere he was, tried to escape the sweet touch, turning his head away. Seonghwa’s arms wrapped around Joong’s middle once more, giving him the feeling of safety.
”Don’t act like a prude, while I’m inside you.”
”For your information, I’m a highly pure and innocent perso-” Hongjoong’s own, pathetic whine interrupted him, when Hwa begun fucking into him at a desperate pace.
“Yeah? Cause you sound like a whore, and look like a sin.” The corridor was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, as Seonghwa growled. Joong never dared to question how good at sex Seonghwa was. But Hwa didn’t really get to acknowledge it, too lost in his own actions. He mostly forgot that he is a human being, and after they both finished, he whined about his sore tongue or fingers. Meanwhile Hongjoong barely breathed, trying to get himself together.
”Fuck off.” Joong tried to come off sternly, but in the end, the words came out as a choked up whine. It was difficult to speak, when someone tried to put him through the wall. Just to punctuate his words, Hongjoong jabbed Hwa’s shin with his foot. Brilliant move. Without thinking twice, Seonghwa slid out of him, spinning him around. Joong didn’t have the time to blink, because he was already being lifted up by his thighs. A small squeak left his mouth, as his back was pressed against the wall, while he got bent in half, with his calves resting on Seonghwa’s shoulders. Thank god he hadn’t given up on doing pilates. Hwa was aware of how far he could push Hongjoong.
Instinctively, Joong held onto the other’s biceps for dear life, praying to whoever came first to his mind. Well, Hongjoong wasn’t as light as he used to be. “Wanna look at your lips, when you swear so prettily.” Seonghwa murmured lowly, once again bottoming out inside Joong, and making him let out a whiny sound. As much as Hongjoong wanted his precious ex-husband to shut up, he loved that filthy mouth.
Sounds of wet squelches carried through the corridor, as Hwa thrusted time after time, absolutely ruining Hongjoong. Somehow, it felt like Seonghwa reached deeper, and deeper. Joong’s lips parted on their own, letting every sinful sound out into the world. The position made him feel almost too much. His head fell back, as he tried to focus on the feeling of Hwa’s cock fitting so perfectly inside of him. Hongjoong was able to imagine every small vein that he once traced with his tongue. Seonghwa made him into a complete dick whore.
In the meantime, Joong’s eyes involuntarily travelled to one of his favorite views. Damp hair were sticking to Seonghwa’s forehead, while his red cheeks caught some drops of sweat, which were sliding down from his temples. Hongjoong couldn’t help, but find the few silver hairs on Hwa’s head even more attractive. One of Joong’s hands moved to Seonghwa’s nape, fingers curling into the wet hair right there.
Soft cries never stopped leaving Hongjoong’s traitorous mouth, because Hwa’s pace just wouldn’t cease. Seonghwa gazed at him in a trance, like he really cared about him. Meanwhile, he fucked Joong like there was no tommorrow. “God, Seonghwa…” How embarrassing, that Hongjoong already felt sparks of orgasm boiling in his gut.
”You were wrong, sweetheart. I’m not doing it only for my own pleasure…” Hwa croaked out, while the other needed a moment to process the words, frowning a little. “Cause I love watching you fall apart for me.” Hongjoong just mewled, turning nearly as red as a tomato. Park Seonghwa had no sense of shame. Joong’s eyes fell closed, while he tried to get away from the intense gaze of the other.
His joints screamed in protest, when he was folded even further, and felt Seonghwa leaning closer. Hongjoong squeaked at the stretch, and the feeling of Hwa focusing rather on the intensity of his pounding, than the speed. He had to bite onto his lower lip, so he wouldn’t wail. It was so fucking scorching hot inside of him, that he couldn’t think properly. “Orange fits you. Makes you look all… mischievous.” Warm breath fell over Hongjoong’s lips as Seonghwa spoke. He definitely talked about Joong’s hair.
That's when Hongjoong has gotten enough of that sultry voice tickling his face. He reached his hand out, smacking it lightly against Hwa’s lips, and pushing him away clumsily. Seonghwa responded with an amused chuckle, opening his mouth to suck two of Joong’s fingers inside, playfully. Jesus fucking Christ. Just as Hongjoong felt the wetness and warmth surrounding his fingers, he knew it was the end. He imagined that it was the closest feeling to sliding his cock into someone. And that’s exactly what pushed him to the edge.
Joong sobbed in relief, letting out small, pathetic whimpers. His body trashed in Seonghwa’s hold, too overwhelmed by his third orgasm of this night. Hongjoong felt Hwa angling his hips in a specific way that let his length grind right against Joong’s sensitive spot. It only prolonged Hongjoong’s pleasure, sending waves of pleasure through his body. His own cock was a little numb, along with the inside of his cunt, after all that stimulation.
In all of the haze, Hongjoong’s fingers slid out of Hwa’s mouth. His hand landed on Seonghwa’s long neck instead, squeezing lightly as he tried to ground himself. Thanks to this gesture, Hwa wasn’t far behind with his own orgasm. Seonghwa’s dick twitched inside of Hongjoong, while a symphony of sweet little whines filled his ears. That hot, lovely essence of Hwa filled him nicely, somehow making him feel thoroughly calm.
They both tried to come down for a moment, just breathing the same air. Joong’s hand loosened, but it didn’t stay unmoving for too long. Because Seonghwa panted softly into his neck, finally letting himself simply be tired. That’s when Hwa’s hold started to loosen, so Hongjoong instinctively wrapped his arms around the others neck, while his legs locked around his hips. It wasn’t the best idea, but he wasn’t able to think it through. They both began to slide down the wall.
Joong inhaled sharply, expecting a hard landing, but it never happened. He landed quite softly, on Seonghwa’s thighs as he kneeled down on the floor. Hongjoong’s eyes finally cracked open, taking in the view in front of him. Hwa’s head was still down, long hair covering his face. There were some drops of sweat beading on his bare chest, so Joong just couldn’t keep his gaze off of it. “Can’t feel my legs.” Seonghwa mumbled in a tiny voice. Hongjoong just giggled weakly, unable to keep it inside.
Hwa’s head lifted slowly, letting Joong see the bright smile on his face. Hongjoong cupped the other's cheek tenderly, pulling him closer and brushing some damp hair away from his forehead, with a free hand. He still thought that Seonghwa was the most beautiful person on the planet. Especially in this moment, after all of his makeup washed off, and there was only him. Hwa’s gaze was still a little dumbfounded, so he looked like an innocent, silly bunny.
”Poor baby…” Hongjoong murmured quietly, pulling Hwa down gently, to plant a lingering kiss on his forehead. The only thing Joong longed for in that moment, was to cuddle his man to sleep, and stay with him till the morning. Or even forever, if it’d be possible. A small sigh of relief left Hongjoong’s lips, when Seonghwa laughed shortly, letting his head rest on Joong’s shoulder. Hongjoong’s hand landed on Hwa’s hair, stroking it gently. He felt very comfy, even in this strange position.
The softening cock slipped out of Joong, making him feel too empty, so he whined in protest. “Will you be able to stand?” Hongjoong scoffed ironically at Hwa’s question.
“You were the one who fell, dumbass.” After Joong’s very polite comment, Seonghwa went suspiciously quiet. Hongjoong only found out why, when he felt touch on his swollen folds, and squeaked in surprise. His hand tugged at Hwa’s hair, but the overwhelming touch vanished, when soaked up fingers pressed between his lips.
A salty, familiar taste met his tastebuds, so he moaned softly, letting Seonghwa smear their mixed cum all over his tongue. Instinctively, Hongjoong cleaned Hwa's fingers thoroughly with his tongue, salivating as if he tried to get more flavour from a lollypop. “See? You can be a good dog, when you want to.” Oh. Joong tried not to mewl at these words. But he couldn’t submit just like that, so he hit Seonghwa’s arm with his hand, squeezing it lightly right after. Contradicting his own protests, Hongjoong took Hwa’s fingers even deeper, until he gagged lightly.
The fingers immediately retreated, and Hwa squished Hongjoong’s cheeks in his hand. He lifted his head to lick away the mess from around Joong’s lips, placing a wet, punctuating kiss right there. “Mmm… You’re nasty.” Hongjoong mumbled with a dumbfounded smile.
“That’s why we have to take a bath.” Joong couldn’t help but nod his head in response. Warm water and a bunch of foamy bubbles sounded very tempting. He felt like a literal biohazard after three, mindblowing orgasms. He’s missed that weird feeling. For some reason, Seonghwa loved to focus on him, instead of himself. Hongjoong never complained, unless he wanted to tease Hwa during sex.
* * *
Eight in the morning definitely wasn’t Hongjoong’s favorite hour to wake up. Especially while having a hangover, and after three hours of sleep. There was an efficient way to live through a hangover, when it was particularly bad. That’s why Joong was sitting curled up on balcony tiles, leaning back against the wall as he held a rolled up joint between his fingers. Maybe he got too damn old. His drinking abilities have only gotten worse and worse, through the years. He never was the best at it, but in the past he could at least handle a night of drinking, without feeling like a living zombie in the morning.
Really, if he wasn’t so hungover, he’d be the happiest person on Earth. After all, he fell asleep in Park Seonghwa’s arms, after simply listening to his soft breathing for a whole hour, just basking in his presence. He felt like he should be ashamed of being the reason for cheating, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Hwa probably had a type for assholes, because Sungmin was even a bigger one. At least that’s what Hongjoong thought.
Ever since Joong woke up, the weather has been absolutely miserable. He loved the soft patter of rain, and the gloomy atmosphere it created. When it rained, he hardly ever took an umbrella outside, just so he could feel those cold droplets falling onto his skin. This time, he was shielded from the rain by the balcony above his own. He could sit like this for hours straight.
Aside from the calming scent of the rain, he could also smell the weed he was nursing. It’s not that he was some kind of a weed addict, because he only smoked at times like this. Hongjoong let out a puff of smoke, leaning his temple on the hand where he held the blunt. His head laid back on the wall, as he stared up onto the cloudy sky, which couldn’t stop crying. Suddenly, a sound of the balcony door sliding open, pulled him out of his thoughts.
Not a moment has passed, and he felt the presence of another person next to himself. Through his peripheral vision, he saw Seonghwa sitting down next to him, bending one of his legs at the knee. He had Joong’s slippers on his feet, which he probably found under the bed. They were a little too small, and Hongjoong found it adorable. While Joong wore a whole, thick robe that made him look like a proper grandpa, Seonghwa snatched some oversized t-shirt and shorts from the other’s wardrobe.
Hwa let his head fall onto Hongjoong’s shoulder, resting his weight onto him carelessly. Joong smiled involuntarily, wrapping his arm around the other, to stroke his side tenderly. “Good morning.” He whispered, resting his cheek on Seonghwa’s head, and closing his eyes. He rubbed his cheek against those black hair, listening to the cute purr Hwa let out. “Sleep well?”
“Fuck no.” Seonghwa grumbled in response, making Joong chuckle quietly. The marijuana got Hongjoong acting much more laid-back. He pressed his lips to the top of Hwa’s head, kissing it with an obnoxious smooching sound.
“Same here, angel.” Joong’s soft voice barely broke through the purr of cars on the street below. After a short moment, Seonghwa lifted his hand, pointing briefly towards the joint in Hongjoong’s own hand.
“May I?” Joong smiled lightly at the question, reaching towards Hwa’s lips, and glancing at him. Seonghwa scrunched his nose in disgust, shaking his head. “Not like that.” Right. It made Hongjoong roll his eyes, although he knew about Hwa’s antics. As far as he knew, Seonghwa felt better, when he didn’t physically take the blunt to his mouth. It was his twisted logic, that it doesn’t really count that way.
“Open up.” The order was unusually tender. Joong took a drag, watching Seonghwa comply lazily and part his lips. Hongjoong didn’t inhale that much, so Hwa wouldn’t feel bad afterwards. He leaned closer, taking a moment to gaze at his ex-husband’s sleepy face, and his pillow mussed hair. He only stopped a breath away from Seonghwa’s lips, exhaling the intoxicating smoke right between them.
He watched Hwa inhale everything into his lungs, then turn his head, and release a small cloud to the side. The view made Joong beam like an idiot, and he wanted to look away, but got pulled by the lapels of his robe into a sweet kiss. Somehow, Seonghwa had already washed his teeth, because he tasted strongly of mint toothpaste. Did he use Hongjoong’s toothbrush..?
He stopped thinking about it, focusing on the soft pair of lips pressing against his own. Joong’s brain literally turned into a mush. Mmm, lips, kisses, love. Hongjoong closed his eyes, carelessly throwing the rest of his blunt out through the balcony’s railing, just to free his hand, and place it on Hwa’s cheek. Humming lovingly, Joong moved his lips, delicately brushing against the other one’s.
It didn’t last long, to Hongjoong’s disappointment, because he came to his senses. Under his own fingertips, he felt goosebumps covering Seonghwa’s arm, so he scrunched his eyebrows. Hwa’s eyes opened lazily, and Hongjoong immediately met them with his own. “Are you cold?” A protective instinct flared inside of the redhead. With no hesitation, he moved to untie his thick robe. He couldn’t leave Seonghwa like this.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to-” Hwa’s protests were useless, because Hongjoong already wrapped the robe around their shoulders, scooting closer, so their sides were glued to each other. Seonghwa’s warm smile made Joong’s heart squeeze. When Hongjoong realized what he did, he looked away, blushing lightly. His need to take care of Hwa never disappeared. “Y’know… I found something.”
Hongjoong’s confused gaze found Seonghwa once again. He got a little anxious, as he thought about what the other could have found. Maybe a dusty corner that he hasn’t cleaned for a few months? Or some crumpled clothes inside his wardrobe?
When Hwa reached inside his pocket, Hongjoong swallowed thickly. That something fitted inside a pocket. His heart stopped beating, as he saw the familiar glint of a golden ring between Seonghwa’s fingertips. For the first time in a while, Hwa seemed nervous, as he looked at Hongjoong, who still tried to assess the situation. “Will you let me…?” Joong could never say no to that sweet voice. He lifted his trembling hand, as he nodded absentmindedly.
Deja vu. That’s exactly what hit Hongjoong, while Park Seonghwa slid the wedding ring onto his finger. He could vividly remember their secret wedding, right after they finished high school. Cheap rings, bought with the money they saved from taking part-time jobs. The huge argument with their parents, after they found out. But he and Seonghwa didn’t care at all. They had each other. Understood each other without words, as if they were meant to be together.
Back then, Hongjoong was absolutely sure that only death could part them. As he stared into the eyes of a forty-seven year old Seonghwa, he wanted that to happen. Hwa was exactly what he needed. The imperfections, their constant bickering, a person who could put him in place, but then kiss his forehead when things got difficult.
Seonghwa also needed him, he thought. Joong let himself be selfish, admitting that his ex-husband also missed him. He didn’t want Hwa to feel that way ever again. Being by his side felt like the most natural thing for Hongjoong. Seonghwa’s head fit the shape of his shoulder perfectly, their intertwined fingers tangled in the most beautiful way, while their souls created chaos, but oddly enough they complemented one another. Only next to Seonghwa, Hongjoong could breathe freely.