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We domesticated the Affini first.
No, man, this ain’t just another highdea like yesterday, I’ve actually been thinking about this one for, like, a minute now. A literal minute. On this kind of class-ꙮ, that’s equivalent to almost like… two minutes.
Anyway. We domesticated the Affini first. Think about it, dude - we helped them to pollinate each other, we became part of their reproductive cycle, and all we had to do in return was get high and snuggly together. And the longer they did this, the more they did to pamper and take care of us, and we just kept doing the same thing as before, man. Even when they invented all that complicated stuff like hypermetric travel and bureaucracy and table tennis, we didn’t have to do anything except get high and hang around.
Like, they basically built their entire civilization to make us happy. We shaped how they evolved, because of how we became entwined with their reproductive drive. They even rebuilt their bodies from scratch to take care of us better. All I’m sayin’ is, who domesticated who, right?
Well yeah, they changed stuff about us too, but only to make us happier. It’s all about making others happier, even when they get hungry and weird and hot it’s because of us.
Hey, speaking of that, can I get my legs back Miss? …Really? Ah well, there should be more in the minibar. They really stocked those little guys with everything.
It ain’t just us either. Every single species they encounter domesticates them more. Every time they take another bunch of cute xenos, they shape themselves to better serve the needs of that species. Like, literally! They change the shape of their bodies for other xenos! They create new languages for themselves! Then they make all sorts of special drugs and technology for them and spoil ‘em until the end of time. And all the xenos gotta do is get high and snuggly together, just like us. Pollen ain’t even part of it anymore, except for the real perverts. Respect.
So, like, at the same time the Affini domesticate other species, the xenos domesticate them even more. And you hear about this Universal Ascension thing they’re trying to do back in the Core Worlds? They’re trying to like, domesticate spacetime itself. Make the whole universe perfect. That’s wild, man. And it all comes back to us. All those other xenos should like, give us a medal. Made of drugs.
Miss, don’t talk about “symbiotic entanglement” to me, you know I’m not high enough to know those words right now.
I think that’s what this party’s really about, you know. Partelia’s all about celebrating how we made the universe all about us. The Affini and the Terrans and the Cyn and those little bird-dragon things that are hopping all over me right now are celebrating us making a better world for them. All because we’re cute as shit and fucked up on space drugs.
Oh yeah, that’s fine man, I’ll catch up with you later. At the giant trampoline, right? Sweet. I could use a nap. I’ll be there as soon as I can get my legs back. Deuces!