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“I’m in love with Yu Junghyeok.”
That is the truth hidden within the heart of the young Kim Dokja, an ordinary high school student. He has always been lonely and reserved, with nothing particularly remarkable about him. He didn’t even have any friends... until “that” particular boy approached him one day and started talking to him.
At first, they were classmates who barely even exchanged glances, but before he realized it, they had grown close, and Dokja’s world changed completely.
Yu Junghyeok is absurdly perfect, as if some god had designed the ideal student and then gone completely overboard. He is popular, serious, handsome, tall, and impeccable... But he is also kind, a good listener, and a lover of video games.
From listening to music on the school rooftop, playing games at an internet café, and doing homework together, to having long conversations about personal topics or simply talking about random things with no real importance. Sometimes they argue, contradict each other, or compete over something, but even when they are upset, it somehow seems to bring them closer to their own feelings.
He is the first real friend Dokja has ever had and... he does not know when he started wanting him to be something more.
Today is February 14th, Valentine’s Day.
Kim Dokja is sitting at his desk near the back of the classroom, pretending to look out the window when, in reality, he cannot take his eyes off a seat a few rows ahead. Off Yu Junghyeok, of course.
The classroom looks like a battlefield covered in pink ribbons, gift boxes with bows, and nervous whispers. Everyone is acting as if today were a historic event.
And apparently, for Yu Junghyeok, it is.
A girl approaches him with an elegant box of chocolates. Then another. Then another one.
Dokja watches everything in silence, completely still.
Junghyeok accepts them with the same calm, unreadable expression he uses for everything, as if they were congratulating him for solving a math problem instead of confessing their eternal love. He tilts his head slightly, thanks them politely, and accepts every gift.
Kind, gentle, ridiculously handsome.
Irritatingly handsome.
“...Good for you,” Dokja mutters under his breath, with a bitterness that fools absolutely no one.
His hand slips into his bag, and there it is. A special gift. A small box wrapped with care, pretty paper, and a red ribbon that sits slightly crooked because he redid it three times. Inside is homemade chocolate. It took him an entire night to make, and he nearly set the kitchen on fire...
And yet he did it, because it is for Junghyeok.
Soon, his heart begins to race.
Maybe this will ruin their friendship. Maybe Junghyeok will laugh at him and reject him.
But worse than that is continuing to pretend that these feelings do not exist.
Kim Dokja takes a deep breath and rises to his feet with determination.
He is going to do it.
He is going to confess everything he has been keeping inside.
He starts walking across the classroom, approaches Junghyeok’s desk... and discovers that he is still surrounded by girls. Not one or two, but an entire swarm. A festival. A cult devoted to worshipping the most handsome boy in class.
Dokja comes to a complete stop and takes in the scene.
One girl offers Junghyeok chocolates. Another slips a note into his hand. A third is literally reciting a prepared confession. Yet another, far bolder than the rest, has an arm draped over his shoulders.
“What the hell? SINCE WHEN DOES HE HAVE A HAREM?!”
Dokja tightens his grip on the box. His courage dies in less than five seconds.
He retreats and returns to his desk with an embarrassed expression.
First attempt: failed.
His mind informs him of this fact with absolute seriousness.
During lunch, he decides that the morning does not count.
It was not a failure. It was strategic reconnaissance.
Yeah... sure.
“I’ll do it this time,” he tells himself more firmly.
Holding the gift against his chest, he walks toward Junghyeok, intending to invite him to have lunch on the rooftop, just as they have done so many times before.
He can already picture it.
Just the two of them and the wind, sharing food in the comfortable bond they have built together.
Maybe then, he will simply confess everything.
“Junghyeok...” he tries to say, but he does not even finish the sentence.
Suddenly, several girls appear as if they had been summoned by some cruel god.
They push past him, crowd around Junghyeok, and completely erase him from the scene. Dokja is left standing to the side, motionless, with all the dignity of a background character getting flattened in a cartoon.
One girl walks right in front of him. Another steps on his shoe. A third pushes him aside without even noticing him.
The only thing he can think, with almost frightening calmness, is:
“I hate my life.”
Second attempt: failed.
And so, Dokja ends up eating alone on the rooftop. He chews with resentment... And yet, he is not willing to give up.
Because he still believes he has a third chance.
After classes end, when the classroom gradually empties and the orange glow of the afternoon sun streams through the windows, Dokja finally sees his opportunity.
Junghyeok is at his desk, packing up his things. For once, he is completely alone.
Just seeing his features illuminated by the late afternoon sunlight makes Dokja's heart feel like it wants to escape through his throat.
So he walks toward him, each step trying desperately to remain steady and confident.
The box is in his hands. This time, he will not run away.
He takes a deep breath and speaks.
"Jungh..."
"Junghyeok!" Another voice cuts him off.
Dokja freezes and watches as a girl steps forward before he can. She is beautiful, elegant, radiant, with distinctive white hair. It is Lee Seolhwa, another popular student at the school.
Of course. It had to happen at this exact moment because apparently the universe has a sense of humor.
She takes Junghyeok's hand with disarming ease and smiles sweetly.
"Now that classes are over... would you like to go out with me?" she asks in a softly voice that leaves no room for misunderstanding.
Something inside Dokja collapses. Not dramatically. Quietly, in a way that is somehow worse. Like a building caving in from the inside.
He remains frozen, staring at their joined hands, feeling as though something is being torn out of his chest.
His thoughts spiral into a resentful internal monologue.
"There's always someone who shows up and takes what I barely dare to wish for. What kind of people do that? They barge in, invade your life... and steal someone else's happiness with a smile. They're a cancer. Yeah, that's what they are... A disgusting cancer upon this world!"
Yes, it is a ridiculous and unhinged monologue. But at this moment, jealousy is eating him alive.
He does not stay to hear anything else. He tightens his grip on the box of chocolates and walks away without looking back.
He does not see Junghyeok pull his hand away from Seolhwa. He does not hear the polite rejection and the clear words:
"I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings. There's already someone I like."
Dokja simply walks away with a broken heart, convinced that he arrived too late.
Meanwhile, behind him, Yu Junghyeok watches his back disappear through the doorway... And frowns as though he has just lost something precious.
The afternoon sky is painted orange, and Dokja walks with his head lowered, dragging his feet as if every traffic light in the city were mourning alongside him.
All that remains is that awkward hollow feeling in his chest, where hope had existed only moments ago.
What a pathetic ending.
Three failed confessions. A dramatic retreat. Irrational jealousy. And a monologue about people being cancerous.
He has truly hit rock bottom.
The young man is so immersed in his own misery that it takes him a moment to recognize the shout.
"KIM DOKJA!!!"
He freezes the instant he recognizes that voice. His entire body reacts before his mind can catch up.
Dokja turns around and Yu Junghyeok is running down the street as if he is chasing a criminal. His expression is fierce and furious.
For a brief moment, Dokja experiences pure terror.
"Did he come here to kill me for something I did...?"
He does not even have time to process it. Junghyeok reaches him, crashes into him, and sends him sprawling onto the ground.
"Uwa...!"
Dokja ends up lying on the sidewalk, dazed, with Yu Junghyeok practically on top of him. Very much on top of him. Far too close.
Their faces are separated by a criminally small distance.
Junghyeok is breathing heavily, as though he fought an entire war just to catch up to him.
His hands grip Dokja's shoulders, and his eyes bore into him.
"Why did you leave like that?"
The question comes out sounding almost desperately demanding.
"Today... is Friday," he adds between breaths. "We always walk home together."
Dokja feels his brain shut down. He does not know whether he is more likely to die from the impact or from the overwhelming proximity.
He closes his eyes for a moment, as though accepting his fate. Then he murmurs weakly,
"I didn't think you'd want to walk home with me."
Junghyeok frowns.
"What?"
Dokja looks away. It hurts to say it.
"I thought you'd be busy... on a date," he mutters uncertainly. "The popular guy received a lot of gifts today..."
Silence follows.
Junghyeok stares at him. Then, in an absolute betrayal by the universe, he smiles. Not a big smile. One of those small, dangerous, teasing smiles.
"Hey..." he says curiously. "Are you jealous?"
Dokja's eyes snap open. He blinks three times. His pride takes critical damage.
"W-What...?"
That tone. That infuriating tone. Something inside Dokja finally explodes.
He looks directly at his friend, face red all the way to his ears, and blurts out the truth.
"Yes. I am jealous."
Junghyeok looks genuinely surprised. Dokja swallows hard, fully aware that there is no turning back now. So he lets everything spill out at once.
"I'm jealous and angry. I've spent the entire day trying to confess to my only friend, and the universe stopped me three times. Three times I ended up looking like an idiot!"
His voice becomes almost accusatory toward the cosmos itself, trembling between frustration and desperation.
"This is cruel..." he mutters, his heart racing. "Why is it so hard to tell you that I like you?"
Junghyeok stares at him as if he has just been struck. He remains motionless for a moment... Then he quickly moves off of him.
Taking two steps back, he looks utterly stunned.
Dokja slowly sits up. Now he really wants to die. He cannot even look at him.
"You just destroyed your friendship. Congratulations, Kim Dokja," he tells himself, fists clenched.
But then Junghyeok speaks, and there is no trace of teasing in his voice anymore. Instead, there is something strange. Soft and slightly trembling.
"...Were you going to give me chocolate too?"
Dokja looks up and notices that Junghyeok is blushing as well, his brows slightly furrowed. For the first time since meeting him, Dokja sees him react like this.
A little shaky, he gives a small nod. With clumsy fingers, he pulls the box out of his backpack and holds it out to him.
"I... made it myself," he admits, caught somewhere between excitement and uncertainty.
He cannot even bring himself to look at him while saying it. His face is as red as an alarm light.
Junghyeok accepts the gift carefully, as though it were the most important one he received today, not just another among many. He opens it, looks at the fish-shaped chocolate, and smiles again.
A real smile. A warm one beneath the glow of the setting sun.
Dokja sees it and feels his heart melt completely.
"Thank you," Junghyeok says, kind and sincere.
He breaks off a piece of the chocolate and tastes it. Dokja holds his breath as if he were standing before final judgment.
Then Junghyeok pauses to consider it before saying,
"It has too much sugar."
"Huh?" Dokja feels himself die all over again.
However, the Sunfish adds gently,
"But I don't mind. It's delicious."
And he takes another bite, as if that is the only answer that matters. Something warm and overflowing fills Dokja's chest. He cannot stop himself from smiling. He is simply too happy.
After that, they begin walking home as they always do.
And yet, it is not really the same as before. They walk side by side, their shoulders almost brushing. Silence accompanies them, more intimate than it has ever been.
As night falls, the city gradually fills with lights. The air is cold, but between them, something has become unbearably warm. Comforting.
After a while, Junghyeok speaks without looking at him.
"I didn't accept Seolhwa's invitation. If you'd stayed, you would've heard me reject her because of someone else."
Dokja listens to every word and comes to a stop. His heart suddenly leaps with excitement.
"...Someone else?"
Junghyeok stops as well and looks at him with that intensity that always leaves him defenseless. A faint blush colors his cheeks, and he confesses without hesitation.
"I like a particularly annoying friend. A lonely reader... Someone I can't get out of my thoughts."
The confession hits with full force. Dokja feels as though he is about to disintegrate. He cannot speak. He can only feel happiness rushing through him from head to toe.
The reaction seems to satisfy Junghyeok.
And when they start walking again, this time their hands drift closer together. They brush softly against one another, without fear. And finally, they intertwine.
As if this were the most natural thing in the world. As if they were merely reaching for something that had been waiting for them all along.
Valentine's Day comes to an end. But something new begins for these two young men.
THE END.