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Sunlight had always brought Denia joy. Warm and pleasant, it reminded her of a certain orange-haired girl who held a special place in her heart. But when she woke up to the morning sun today, she realized with disappointment that its light wasn't enough to help her begin the day in her usual rhythm.
Her body felt heavy and powerless. She didn't think she could even lift a hand toward her terminal to message Sigrika and tell her she would be missing classes today.
The blanket rested against her body unpleasantly, seeming to press down on her chest, a chest that felt filled with nothing but emptiness.
Normally, she would wake up just in time to brush her teeth, dress neatly, and arrive at class a few minutes late. But today she had already missed her first lecture, which meant she might as well skip the rest of them too. Her presence in class didn't matter to anyone anyway. Denia wasn't a brilliant student. She had no grand ambitions or plans for the future, and being surrounded by all those inspired young minds often left her feeling discouraged.
She felt out of place.
Her long eyelashes obscured her vision, but she lacked the strength to fully open her eyes.
Maybe she should go have breakfast in the FUEL. The food there was nutritious and healthy... Perhaps it would even wake her up a little. But the thought of walking all that way, meeting people, forcing herself to smile, holding conversations... the thought alone exhausted her even more.
The pillow was uncomfortable, and her neck had begun to ache, so Denia gathered all her strength to roll over and curl up. There was a Trickster lying nearby, which she unconsciously pulled against her chest.
So pointless.
It didn't bring any comfort, but the familiar texture beneath her fingers gave her something to focus on, something that helped her escape the thoughts in her head.
The sound of students voices from the hallway. Cheerful laughter drifting through the window. She felt detached from all of it.
Everything felt so empty and meaningless.
Why did she feel so heavy today? Because she hadn't slept properly all week? Because Aleph-1 had been growing increasingly active within her chest? Or because she still couldn't understand what the Grand Architect wanted from her this time? She didn't know, and she certainly didn't have the energy to figure it out.
She drifted somewhere between sleep and reality, unable to fully surrender herself to rest, never truly feeling safe.
The next time Denia glanced at the clock on her terminal, it was already past two in the afternoon. She could still make it to one class if she got up now. She might have laughed at the absurdity of that thought if she'd had the energy.
Her breathing was slow and steady, her fingers gently stroking the plush toy. She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the artificial sunlight outside. During the hours she had spent lying there, it had shifted position and now shone directly into her eyes.
She should probably close the curtains if she intended to skip classes and sleep all day.
But why bother?
The dimmer light would be easier on her eyes, but the curtains looked so heavy that the result hardly seemed worth the effort. So Denia let out a weary sigh and buried her face in the pillow.
The terminal rang again. Denia clicked her tongue. This sound irritated her ears. There was a chance that sweet Sigrika was worried about her, but the Roya girl had so many other responsibilities that she'd surely become distracted by something else soon enough. Tomorrow they would see each other in class again, as though this lost day had never happened. As though it had changed nothing. Everything would return to normal.
She felt a little thirsty, and her throat was scratchy.
By four in the afternoon, Denia began to feel as though the entire day had slipped past her. There were a few simple games on her terminal she could have used to distract herself, but apparently somewhere between all the unanswered calls, the battery had died.
On the desk beside a pile of scattered notes sat a supply of flavorless "meals," accompanied by the Grand Architect's recommendation that she eat those instead of cafeteria food. They had been sitting there for a week now. Denia had only eaten three portions. She hadn't even bothered putting them in the refrigerator. Soon they would expire, and she'd be able to throw them away. At this moment, “Nivora” was busy with some other project, so Denia doubted there would be any consequences.
A knock at the door startled her.
For a moment she wondered if she'd somehow summoned the Grand Architect through her passing thought.
But then a concerned voice called her name from the other side of the door.
Soft.
Gentle.
Familiar.
"Nia? Are you here?"
Denia's heart foolishly sped up. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to call out to Sigrika. She wanted to see her bright eyes, to bask in her attention. But did she deserve that? Denia had spent the entire day lying in bed while Sigrika helped other students and teachers. They hadn't spoken today, but Denia knew her schedule by heart.
She didn't want Sigrika wasting her time on her.
So she stayed silent.
"Nia, are you okay? Please answer me, or I'm coming in."
Her thoughts tangled together. She didn't react in time before the door creaked open, letting in the petite orange-haired girl along with the noise from the hallway.
Denia squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she had no idea what to do about it. The rush of blood in her ears was so loud she feared Sigrika would notice how miserable she was.
"Oh, Nia..."
What did her friend see? The mess in the room? A foolish girl wrapped up in a blanket? Certainly nothing good.
A cool hand touched her forehead, brushing aside her damp bangs.
Denia pretended to be asleep.
Sigrika murmured something, but Denia couldn't make out the words.
Footsteps and the rustling of bags filled the room.
Denia opened her eyes slightly.
Sigrika was taking familiar cafeteria meal boxes from a bag, along with oranges and bottled tea.
She stood with her back turned and didn't notice Denia watching her.
Sigrika's back looked fragile yet dependable. Without thinking, Denia found herself watching the movement of her muscles and the ease of her motions. The air felt lighter.
Sigrika stacked the scattered notes on the desk, gently closed the curtains, and slowly turned back toward the bed.
Denia quickly shut her eyes again before she was caught.
Still, Sigrika's presence was so clear she could tell exactly what she was doing.
The girl carefully climbed the ladder beside the bed, plugged the terminal into a charger, and placed something beside Denia's pillow.
"Nia, it's unhealthy to sleep at this time. You'll end up with a headache."
"It's unhealthy to enter someone's room without permission, Siggy."
Denia's voice was quiet, but once her eyes met Sigrika's, she knew the girl had heard her. The soft smile on Sigrika's face, her gaze—it felt as though it wrapped around Denia.
She wanted to hide from such warm attention. Instead, she pushed herself up slightly, deliberately frowning in the hope of scaring Sigrika away.
"Shouldn't you be helping the other students with their runes?"
Always so expressive, Sigrika hesitated and gestured toward the desk.
"I brought my paperwork with me. It's quiet in your room, so I'll borrow your desk for a while. Oh, and they had really delicious desserts today. I thought of you the moment I saw them on the menu."
Now it was Sigrika who avoided eye contact.
Denia knew she was lying a little, but it was such a harmless lie that there was no point calling her out.
"There are plenty of places in the academy where you could work on your paperwork, Siggy."
"But I'd like to do it here." - The stubbornness was unusual for Sigrika. And today, Denia didn't have the strength to resist.
"Do whatever you want."
Sigrika smiled.
Then she hurried to the desk to retrieve the desserts she'd mentioned earlier. She positively glowed when Denia accepted them from her hands.
An unexpected gentleness settled over the room.
Sigrika hummed a melody while sitting at the desk.
The dessert was almost unbearably sweet. For some reason, Denia wanted to cry. She hadn't noticed her breathing become uneven until she kept eating. A bottle of tea appeared beside her hand.
Sigrika politely ignored the quiet sobbing Denia tried to hide.
For a while, the room was filled with the sounds of Sigrika studying while the artificial sun outside slowly shifted into its nighttime cycle.
Eventually Denia noticed that all the paperwork Sigrika had brought was already finished and packed away. But the Roya girl hadn't moved from her seat. She was simply scrolling through messages on her terminal.
A feeling of guilt stirred inside Denia.
Sigrika had spent her evening here instead of resting.
Yet Denia's tongue refused to tell her to leave.
She was selfish. And just this once, she wanted Sigrika to stay a little longer.
Sigrika climbed the ladder to her bed again. Slowly. As if afraid of startling her. Her eyes were too intense. As though she wanted to say something but wasn't sure she should.
And silently, Denia begged her not to say the thing that frightened her so much.
"...Good night, Nia."
"Good night, Siggy."
Normally, that would have been the end of the day.
But something in Denia's gaze held Sigrika there.
Denia didn't even notice when her hand caught hold of Sigrika's clothes.
She let out a heavy sigh and spoke in a deliberately cheerful voice.
"Want to stay over tonight?"