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The one thing he had to get used to when living at Vics was the constant stream of visitors. Okay he's being dramatic when 80% of the time it was John, 10% Aaron and 10% was Vic coming back from work or picking Harry up from school. At first when his senses were heightened he'd almost jump when he heard the door open.
When it was John he was sure that he would slam the door on purpose. Vic had tried to give him the speech about how John knew PTSD from being a soldier. But Robert had a hunch that John knew how to play on the triggers. Especially after their fight which sent Robert straight into prison flashbacks. He was always there for someone who had his own place with Aaron. As much as he could play the caring brother card, which wasn't his card to use.
Vic was often cautious when she opened the door. Mostly when she knew Robert wasn't at work that day. The few times she did open it loud by accident she would give him an apologetic stare. Then Harry would run up to him and start talking about holiday club and then school when he was back in. He was loud, even if he didn't mean to be but Robert started getting used to it. It wasn't like he was doing it on purpose, plus half the time it was the kids toys making all the noise. He learned that after he sat on one of the plushes hiding behind the sofa cushion. But it made Vic laugh which more than made up for it.
After John disappeared and the village knew the truth about him he started noticing a more frequent visitor. Probably one of the more quieter visitors, if it wasn't for the creeking of the door as it opened Robert wouldn't have known he was there.
Just like now when he had the telly on and had a sneaky suspicion he was being watched. He turned to see Aaron stood behind him by the doorway.
"Vics at work and Harrys at school." Robert said before looking away from him. He heard the footsteps walking over before Aaron took a seat next to him.
"Thats not why I'm here." Aaron said, looking through Roberts deflection almost instantly. He said nothing for a few minutes, just watching Aarons fist folding and unfolding on his thigh from the corner of his eye.
"Okay, you pick what to watch and I'll make us a drink." He said before he went to the kitchen to occupy himself. He found himself watching Aaron as he sat back on the sofa before selecting something to watch. He brought the teas through and handed one to Aaron before they sat and watched stuff until Vic came in. Then Aaron made his exit and Vic gave him a smile.
"Nothing happened. He just came over." Robert said, ignoring the look of disbelief written all over her face.
The one thing he didn't like about not having his own place was the lack of privacy. As much as he loved his sister he appreciated having his own space. No-one to psychoanalyse his interactions with Aaron. Or push them together.
"So will he be a frequent visitor." She said.
"Ask him." He huffed before standing up. He knew he shouldn't have snapped but how would he know the ins and outs of his ex husband who he was not seeing. Or getting with. The closest physical contact they had recently was their knees knocking together.
Yes Robert made a note of that. But there was no use getting his hopes up for nothing.
He would later find that Aaron would become quite a regular visitor. Sometimes he would knock, other times he'd let himself in. One time he had been working late on the farm and didn't get back until the evening. He greeted Vic and nearly didn't notice Aaron sat in the corner. This time Aaron went and brought him a beer before they sat down. Vic heated up the leftovers from the hide. It was domestic, something he never thought would happen when he got released. An overlooked moment that's easy to take for granted.
This time he stayed even when Vic headed off to bed. She gave them both a look as Robert glared at her. But it raised the question of what happens next. Aaron didn't seem like he wanted to leave anytime soon. Robert didn't want him to leave. He hadn't during any of the other times but it was for the better to let Aaron go. If he was being honest he was afraid that he would mess it all up again. He felt like he'd hurt Aaron enough, this time nearly broke both of them.
He felt conflicted and as the hours passed also tired. He felt himself yawning and starting to nod off. He felt his legs being moved onto the sofa, his head gently placed under a pillow as a blanket was put on top of him.
"I wish I'd gave you a second chance back then." He heard Aaron say before he felt a kiss on his forehead.
He drifted off as he heard the door lock behind him.
When he woke up he thought that he had almost dreamt that moment. He got changed and made breakfast before he stood and stared at the eggs.
"Didn't know eggs had you deep in thought. Or is it a farmers logistic I don't know about." He turned to Vic before flipping the eggs.
"Aaron said something when I was half asleep last night. That he wished he gave us a second chance back then." Robert said.
"What's stopping him now, whats stopping you now." She said as he plates up the breakfast for them.
"As much as I still love him if we rush into something before we're ready we will only lose each other for good." He said.
"I think Aarons been ready since he realised the truth about John. It's you who feels like you aren't ready. But he might get tired of waiting for you to give him a second chance." Vic said before she left.
He had to admit she had a point. As much as he tried to ignore it by going to work. The physical labour was distracting him, well just about. After he finished he went back home before showering and changing and he decided to go to the Woolpack for tea.
Thankfully it wasn't too busy and despite Chas's ever so loving glare (not) he appreciated the comfort. He'd even started reading the newspaper on the table whilst waiting for his food. Halfway through he heard the creaking of the chair across from him before someone sat down.
"Any interesting stories." Aaron said.
"Did you try Vics house and realise I wasn't home." He folded up the newspaper before resting it beside him.
"I got about as far as the front gate before Liam told me you were in here." Aaron said before the food was put in front of him. Before he could take his first bite Aaron grabbed a chip from his plate. He just laughed to himself before grabbing the sandwich.
They ended up half sharing the food and Aaron bought him another pint whilst being in a discussion with Chas. Then she smiled at him before he walked over.
"So what are your plans?"
"Finish this pint and probably head back to the creaky bed at Vics. The mattress is horrible." Robert said.
"Oh yeah I didn't want to mention it last time but it dug into my side. My beds nicer if you fancy a change in scenery." Aaron said and Robert looked up, half amused but also half surprised. He hadn't expected the invite.
"Your bed." He had an inquisitive tone.
"Not just the bed. You need more than a bedroom at your sisters." What he said made sense, but it felt too good to be true.
"Until I fuck up and you throw me out. So I end up back there." Robert hated that he threw their past at him but he was being honest. At least with Vic no matter how much he fucked up he knew that he still had her support. Mostly.
He knew it was the wrong thing when Aaron gave him a sad look, which was quickly covered up by anger.
"Wow okay, you know what Robert I thought we were on the same page. That you were ready to give us another chance. But clearly you aren't so you can go back there but I won't bother coming round anymore." Aaron said before he stood up, the action causing heads to turn before he rushed out of the pub.
Then Chas walked up to him. Great. At least she didn't have a pint to throw at him.
"My son loves you. You out of everyone should know he doesn't open his heart up easily. Yet you throw it back in his face after you tried to get him to leave John months ago." Chas said as he stood up.
"Just leave it Chas." Robert knows he sounds harsh. That he's making it worse for himself.
"No because if you don't fix it then you will lose him for good. I hate to say this but he's happier around you. For the first time in a long time. So stop being stupid and just talk to him." She said before he shook his head and left the pub.
What a mess tonight had been. He was about to head back to Vics but he got as far as the gate. He looked towards Mill cottage before sighing to himself.
He nearly thought Chas was following him as her words echoed in his head. After shaking his head and turning around he was relieved that he was alone. But he hated to admit she had a point. He had torn apart the fractured thing they had been trying to repair. So it was only right he tried to stitch the pieces back together. Which started by leaving the front gate of Keepers Cottage and turning to the Mill.
He got let in by Ruby after he decided to not buzz Aaron. He stood by his door and knocked.
After a few minutes the door opened hesitantly. Aaron was stood there wearing more comfortable clothes, which was mainly a black tshirt and shorts. He looked tired compared to earlier and Robert hated that he was the cause of it. Especially the red eyes he tried to hide.
"I'm an idiot." Robert said which made Aarons lips upturn slightly.
Well at least he made him feel better.
"I nearly lost you because of what we did. I know he's not here anymore but hes one reminder in a long list that I hurt you. So whatever confidence I had about us disappeared. I wasn't ready for this, for us in case I ruined it all again. So it was easier to be a dick than to be honest. But then Chas reminded me that I would still lose you and this time it would be my fault." He said as he didn't realise how much he needed to open up about it.
"All I could think about when I woke up after the accident was you. All I wanted was you but at first I was afraid. So I came over and convinced myself it was enough. I was willing to wait, as long as I had you in my life. But then you fell asleep and as I tucked you up I realised I couldn't keep waiting. So after that night I told myself I would be open. Tell you that I love you and I want you to move in." Aaron said.
"Does the offer still stand?" Robert said.
"So you're ready?"
"I think I've always been ready I just needed that push to remind me what I stood to lose." Robert said.
"Whatever happens I won't throw you out." Aaron said.
"I might throw you out though." Robert said as Aaron took a step closer.
"I'd like to see you try." They were stood nearly chest to chest now. He noticed the glint in Aarons eyes before he stepped into the flat. Their home. Okay well part of it but in a way he was still coming home.
As the door locked behind him he was pushed back against it. Aarons eyes dropped to his lips before he pulled him in. God it was better than the last time they kissed. This time because he knew it wouldn't be one of the last ones. They could love each other in the open.
They didn't have to be afraid anymore and Robert didn't want to waste another moment.
They made their way to Aarons room, clothes haphazardly abandoned on the way there. God he was right about the bed, it was so much nicer than the one at Vics. The man above him was also an added bonus as well. The way his hands moved up and down his chest, then ran lower. How he was so attuned to every little gasp he managed to get out of Robert.
But it was also afterwards. The way he looked after him, cleaning them up and then bringing him a water. Then he held him up in his arms, afraid he would disappear if he let go.
"You were right about the bed. I think I might just stay for this." He brushed a hand along the mattress before it knocked against the side of Aarons thigh.
"Told you my bed was better." Aaron rested his hands above his head. Showoff.
"What are you measuring here?" Robert gave him a curious look.
"Mattress depth, quality. Comfort." Aaron said before he sat up. He moved his own pillow from under him and indicated for Robert to move. Then he placed it on top of Roberts own. Just a small action but it showed how much he still remembered.
"I can't imagine the prison pillows were any good." Aaron said.
"When its been your life for so long you get used to it. Then you forget to actually allow yourself to have small comforts like this." Robert said as Aaron rested his head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around him.
Sometimes he couldn't believe that this was his life. With Aaron beside him as they planned their future.
Instead of Aaron coming over to Vics, they started coming over to Aarons. The four of them would sit around as Vic brought food. Robert would try to help and ended up playing games with Harry to keep him out of the kitchen. Aaron would occasionally join in, then walk over to Vic when he was bored.
"You know if you hadn't said anything I would have gave him a kick up the backside. I love him but he belongs with you." Vic said as she began dishing up the pasta dish.
"I know." Aaron said.
"Don't blame yourself for not choosing him first. We all had our reasons to trust John. It's been nearly six years. Sometimes I wish there was something I could do. To show how sorry I am." Vic said sounding guilty.
"Keep loving him. Even when he's being a twat. I tried to treat him but he caught on. We talked and I know I'm have to find ways to show my love. Even if it never feels like I'm doing enough." Aaron said.
They enjoyed the food and soon enough Vic took Harry and left. Then they went to bed not long after.
Okay don't judge the fact it was barely gone nine. It just meant they got to have more time together.
"Your love is enough. I heard you talking to Vic. I don't care if it makes me sound weak. You never had to treat me, because I knew even when you chose him, it was me you wanted."
"I still want you. From now on I promise to chose you. Us. Our family."
"Our family. I like the sound of that." Robert said.
Their family was a bit small for the time being but they were rebuilding their foundations. Overtime it would grow and become the family they once planned for.