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The ocean wouldn't be able to fully accommodate the size of Wenbo's self-hatred.
Liuyi would tell him to find a bigger ocean, Tian Ye would try and make him hate himself less, Dohyeon would—well, Wenbo's not sure what Dohyeon would do, but he'd probably be the one to come up with the most useful solution out of Wenbo's three boyfriends.
"I'd drown in that ocean for you."
Nevermind. Wenbo takes back every good thought he's ever had about Dohyeon talking about how smart he is. He's dating three full fucking idiots, not two and a half.
"You're an idiot too," Tian Ye chimes from the kitchen. "So technically you can't be talking." Curse him and his mind-reading powers. "You're welcome."
"I hate you," Wenbo says just because he can.
"We love you too," Dohyeon says with a smile, looping his arms around Wenbo's neck and cuddling him close. His big feathery wings curl around Wenbo like a protective shield, the shiny white coat glittering under sunlight.
Wenbo usually hates seeing other angels' wings, since it bitterly reminds him of the useless lumps on his back, but he's always loved just looking at Dohyeon and Liuyi's wings. They're beautiful, ethereal as they were designed to be. Dohyeon's wings are bigger, taller than the man himself, and a shade of white that reminds Wenbo of the pearls around Tian Ye's neck. Liuyi's are smaller and usually tucked in behind him, similar to that of how Cupid's wings are depicted as, but they're soft as hell and blur into the background like clouds from afar.
Then there's Tian Ye, the only devil in their household but just about as kind as the angels. He's also got wings, and he's rarely ever got his two feet on the ground. They're stereotypical black bat-like wings that are just a bit bigger than Liuyi's, and he's got a long pointed black tail to match.
Angels don't have tails. They just have crown-shaped halos above their heads—which they can make intangible—, pointy little things that pierce skin when touched. Wenbo would know. It's humorous, actually. A devil's tail isn't all that pointy. The tip is heart-shaped and soft to the touch, a fur-like coating serving as the outer layer.
And though the man hides it pretty well, Wenbo knows Tian Ye has an unspoken insecurity about being a devil that he won't admit to. Nonetheless, as a devil who's in love with two angels.
And a fallen angel.
Not that that part matters. Not that Wenbo's ever mattered.
He gets an apple thrown at his head for that one. He doesn't even try to dodge it, easily catching it in his palm.
"Stop thinking," Tian Ye snipes at him, but at least he gives Wenbo the grace of not outing his thoughts out loud. It's a boundary Wenbo's long established in the past, back when Wenbo first lost his glory and Tian Ye found him in the dirt.
For a devil, he's unfairly fucking kind-hearted.
(Fortunately, Tian Ye doesn't out him for that. His expression does soften though.)
"I don't think that's how it works," Wenbo says drily. He takes a bite out of the apple before scrunching his nose at the taste. "Ugh, why does this shit taste sour?"
"It's green," Liuyi tells him helpfully. He's reading some inspirational philosophical book on the couch, taking the whole length of it with his legs, leaving Tian Ye to sit on the armrest behind him. The spoiled brat's even using Tian Ye as a backrest. "Green apples are sour."
"No they're not." Wenbo furrows his eyebrows. He looks over his shoulder to pout at Dohyeon, blinking away the ghost of his halo that lingers in his vision. "He's wrong, right."
Dohyeon shrugs, taking the apple from Wenbo's hands and biting into it to see the taste for himself... to taste the taste for himself? "It's not that sour, but you're right. Maybe it's just the odd one out of the bunch."
"Gee, my lucky day."
Dohyeon rolls his eyes at him, pressing a swift kiss to Wenbo's nose that Wenbo reflexively scowls at. Dohyeon just laughs at him, the bastard.
"It's fine," Liuyi suddenly says. Wenbo narrows his eyes at him. Liuyi being nice to him either means he needs to meet his quota of heavenly virtues this month or he's planning something. Just as he expected, Liuyi tacks on, "You're the odd one out of the bunch and we still love you."
Wenbo just about wants to strangle him.
"Thanks," Wenbo responds drily. At least it counts as Liuyi admitting that he loves him. A win is a win.
Tian Ye looks like he's stifling a cackle behind his claws, of the same shade of coal like the rest of his devil physiology and only half-sharp and covered in a thin layer of fur like his tail. He's more like a cat than a wolverine. Surprisingly, Tian Ye doesn't slime him for that thought.
Suddenly, Dohyeon claps his hands together, pulling away from Wenbo (he's already mourning his free heat source) to stretch out his wings freely behind him. They take up half of the kitchen.
"Movie marathon time?" Dohyeon suggests randomly, but it's not like Wenbo's complaining, although—
"It's two in the afternoon?" Liuyi questions.
"Movie day," Tian Ye reaffirms. He floats over to the kitchen, swerving away from Wenbo after giving him a drive-by kiss, before throwing himself onto Dohyeon.
Wenbo would snark about him having favourites, but what's new?
It's no secret each of them have favourites.
It's no secret who Wenbo's favourite is.
Tian Ye rolls his eyes at him, very clearly reading Wenbo's thoughts again—at this point, Wenbo couldn't give less of a shit. He has nothing to hide from his boyfriend.
"Movie day," he repeats, with a tired smile he hides behind his knuckles.
Because Tian Ye always gets what he wants, everyone clears their schedule to make time for an impromptu movie marathon. And by everyone, that means Dohyeon, because Wenbo is essentially unemployed and Liuyi is a slacker. Of course, Dohyeon is Dohyeon. So he has a human corporate job alongside being, y'know, a divine entity.
Speaking of Liuyi, he's busy erecting a makeshift pillow temple-fort-igloo-creation in the living room using all of their blankets combined and every existing plushie in the apartment acting as guards. It's an odd mix when Tian Ye and Dohyeon's plushies are all cute animals and Liuyi's are anime characters.
Honestly, all it makes Wenbo think of is omega nesting.
He hears Tian Ye snort from way across the kitchen. That guy probably heard his thoughts loud and clear.
While Liuyi's over there healing his inner child and Tian Ye's making a last minute batch of smores for them to munch on during the movie marathon, and Dohyeon's finishing up the last of his work, Wenbo's tasked with… well, nothing.
He would help Liuyi—if he was trying to get on Liuyi's nerves. Liuyi has this thing where he won't ask for help unless he needs it—or lowers his pride enough to admit that he wants help. If someone, especially someone like Wenbo, tries helping him out of nowhere, it would just get him ticked off. Nevermind the act of actually helping him, just offering some assistance could get Wenbo skewered like a meatball on a stick. Figuratively. Liuyi's the last person Wenbo knows that would end up falling from grace.
(Because yes, he knows Dohyeon could. Might. Would. If it meant eternity with a demon like Tian Ye and a failure of a creature like Wenbo, Dohyeon would sacrifice his divinity.)
(He's not sure if Liuyi would.)
So Wenbo leans against the foot of the couch and aimlessly scrolls through Weibo like the unemployed chud he is.
"...you watched… hat.. yet.."
Wenbo looks up at the sound of Liuyi's voice. He pauses the video he's watching—some skit of a shiba dog and persian cat that reminds Wenbo of Lin Weixiang and Liu Qingsong, the infamous pair of exes in all of the divine realm—to hear Liuyi's voice clearer.
"Say that again," Wenbo says.
Liuyi rolls his eyes, but like always, he complies. He's just like that. Wenbo could call him compliant if he wanted to get his hand chopped off. "Have you watched Witch Hat Atelier yet?"
"Witch Hat what?"
"Bro. We literally talked about this yesterday."
Wenbo feels the slightest bit guilty. He looks back at his phone, but doesn't unpause the video he was watching earlier. He just—feels terrible, bile crawling up the collumn of his throat, replacing the oxygen he's meant to swallow. God, he's such a shitty boyfriend.
"Sorry," he says through gritted teeth, not out of frustration, but out of humiliation. "I haven't."
"We could always watch it right now," Dohyeon interrupts, coming out of his room. He's also not seen with his laptop, which he usually keeps on him at all times just in case he needs to follow-up with an urgent email—and this is good news, because Wenbo, though he'll never admit it, much prefers when all of Dohyeon's attention is on them. He's also probably interrupting because Wenbo is sure Tian Ye heard his thoughts loud and clear.
"We don't have to," Liuyi says. He looks like he's doing the seemingly 'finishing touches' of his 'build' before he settles down next to Wenbo, just a bit of distance separating them. "I'm down to watch anything."
"Me too," Wenbo adds, to filter his thoughts.
Tian Ye also comes back not long after. "If everyone is just fine with anything, then we should just watch Liuyi's recommendation anyway."
"It's not a movie though—"
"We watched My Little Pony once during movie night," Wenbo deadpans. "Three seasons of it."
He hides a smile when Liuyi manages a vehement glare at him. It's so funny how easily his mood switches up and he wonders, really wonders, how his boyfriends can handle him without getting angry or frustrated—sure, maybe Liuyi looks like he'd rather be anywhere else but in the same room as Wenbo sometimes, but he never really means it. Wenbo knows that. And he doesn't understand why.
Tian Ye floats over to the couch, crossing his legs in mid-air before plopping himself down on top of it. Dohyeon follows suit, jumping over the back to sit next to Tian Ye. Tian Ye's closer to Wenbo though, so he leans down and whispers in Wenbo's ear to say, "Because we love you."
Wenbo rolls his eyes. "I get that part."
"You just don't get why?" Tian Ye finishes for him. Wenbo refuses to look back, already knows what kind of smile will greet him if he does. "It's okay, baobei. You'll figure it out one day."
And Wenbo will have to be satisfied with that.
He'll understand one day. Maybe, if he never does, he'll learn to come to terms with it too.
He has everything he could ever want and he still hates himself. His boyfriends have come to terms with it—they don't tell him to get therapy for hating himself, they don't force him to learn how to love himself, they're just there for him. Always there for him. It's what Wenbo wants, it's what he needs, rather than people who try to fix him.
Maybe, just maybe, all the love in his heart that should've gone to himself has all been spent on his boyfriends—and if that's the case, then Wenbo likes it that way. He wants it to stay that way.
Maybe he'll never learn to love himself, but he'll always love his boyfriends.
He came to terms with it a long time ago.