Work Text:
Calloused, organic fingers and metal ones tapped with rigour at a dataslate. Solomorne straightened as he reviewed his report on the Heartless one last time before nodding to himself.
Paperwork was the bane of an Arbitrator’s existence. Endless reports, memos, and letters await him after each mission, all requiring meticulous documentation and proper citations to both the local laws and the Lex.
There was a certain satisfaction in finishing one. Solomorne rolled his strained shoulders as he finished the Heartless mission report, and moved on to the last one he must accomplish that cycle.
A post-mission incident report involving the Rogue Trader herself.
Solomorne pinched the bridge of his nose. His face grew hot just from thinking of her.
Their first meeting in the Rykad system was not exactly full of pleasantries. Solomorne felt a vein throb on his forehead when he realized that the inheritor of the late Lady Theodora von Valancius’ Warrant of Trade was a criminal, and an infuriatingly impudent one as well.
Initial investigation on Lady Suyin von Valancius revealed a past much like a regicide board. Checkered was putting it lightly. He tapped at his dataslate and reviewed the personal notes he had on her, annotations on the intelligence his precinct gathered. He scrolled to the section that pertains to her personal history.
“Personal history:
Past aliases and monikers: Suyin Fang. Sue Stubbs. The Iron Fang of Sibellus. The Viper of Scintilla.
Eldest daughter in the Fang crime family, a notorious gangster clan in the Sibellan underhive
Orphaned at ten standard Terran years after a massacre by rival syndicate
Worked as a joy girl from ages eighteen to twenty-one (Involuntarily? Delicate subject. Investigate if this becomes relevant) Attachment: picts. No further comments.
Wrested back control of underhive territory in a bloody shadow war. Founded the Scintillan Serpents crime syndicate. Attachment: pict of gang tag
Committed crimes that under different circumstances would have earned Arbites judgment and a swift sentencing—current Warrant of Trade shields her from prosecution
Involvement in Chaos cult—victim or accomplice? Clarify later and assess likelihood of committing heresy”
Solomorne’s lone organic eye flicked towards the note about her time as a joy girl and the accompanying picts, and he felt his throat go dry. He dismissed the rumour as mere hearsay during their initial investigation due to lack of evidence, but porno-slates advertising a bordello with one of her criminal aliases turned up. He had expected her to be the proprietress, yes, but he had not expected her in the picts.
Sue Stubbs looked nothing short of sultry, skin bare and her sculpted curves on display. It was the kind of pict that guardsmen would possess to keep the loneliness at bay.
There was no doubt about the veracity of that rumour now. She had admitted it herself when they slept together.
Demonstrated, even.
Rather than unproductively lose himself in the memory, he began drafting the report.
“Personnel Incident Report.
Subject RT-1 approached DX-1 on the bridge approximately five hours after the capture of the Heartless with a proposition of a sexual nature.”
He paused, rewriting the last few words. “-a proposition of a personal nature. DX-1 received an invitation for a private audience in RT-1’s personal quarters.”
The Proctor pinched the bridge of his nose even harder and exhaled slowly as he recollected what transpired next. Elbows on the desk, he leaned over and muttered to himself. “How in the Throne will I even get started for that part of the report?”
Beside him, Glaito roused from standby mode as he sensed his master’s heart rate increase despite being in a non-combat situation in his quarters aboard the Invictus. Solomorne gave Glaito a glance, and he groaned.
“DX-1 and RT-1 engaged in sexual activity,” he wrote.
He stared at the words. Grimacing, he realized that there was not much he can do to sanitize the events that transpired. For him to omit information was tantamount to heresy. Exhaling sharply, he pressed on.
A choking noise left his lips as he reviewed the transcript of their conversation right before their sexual encounter began. Glaito let out a questioning whine, and Solomorne put the dataslate down to massage his temples.
As he finished up on the report, he took solace in the fact that he took responsibility. Now it’s up to the Emperor to decide if it was enough.
When he stood before Marshal Gregoras Strachs and Prefect Inscribia Vultur, however, whatever solace he found was replaced with mortification. Of course, such an emotion did not show on his imperturbable visage, but the small whine of concern coming from Glaito betrayed the spike in his heartrate.
Marshal Strachs’ booming voice filled the precinct as he read the header of the report out loud.
“ADEPTUS ARBITES – DARGONUS DELEGATION: REPORT 4481-77-B
Reporting Officer: Proctor Solomorne Anthar
Subject: Self-Investigation of Potential Misconduct with Rogue Trader Suyin von Valancius
Classification: Personnel Matter
Location: The Lord Captain's Quarters - The Invictus (von Valancius flagship)
Addendum: Emperor preserve me.”
Prefect Vultur’s wrinkled face wore an expression of perpetual disdain, but her glower was especially scathing. “Proctor, why is there a tactical diagram attached?”
The other Arbitrators present did not express any outward reactions to the several appendices attached to their copy of the report, but the sweat forming on their brows and the way their hands tightened around their dataslates was the first indication of their imperturbable facades cracking.
“To illustrate the sequence of events,” Solomorne answered flatly.
Strachs perused the evidence. “Why are there four diagrams attached?”
“The situation evolved.”
One Arbitrator present inhaled sharply.
“If there are no more interruptions, I shall proceed reading your report, Proctor Anthar,” Marshal Strachs grunted.
Prefect Vultur’s glare remained disdainful, but she nodded.
Complete silence filled the hall.
“Personnel Incident Report.
Subject Rogue Trader Suyin von Valancius (who shall be referred to as RT-1 throughout the remainder of the report and its supplementary evidence) approached Proctor Solomorne Anthar of the Adeptus Arbites (callsign DX-1) on the bridge of the von Valancius flagship Invictus approximately five hours after the capture of the Heartless. (Refer to ADEPTUS ARBITES – DARGONUS DELEGATION: REPORT 4481-77-A for further information.). RT-1 approached with a proposition of a personal nature. DX-1 received an invitation for a private audience in RT-1’s personal quarters. (Refer to Appendix A: Full Transcript of Conversation.)”
Marshal Strachs and the other Arbitrators present referred to another datapad containing the said transcript. One of them, a fresh-faced lad who looked like he just graduated right out of the Schola Progenium, flushed a deep red as he reviewed the transcript, which read:
“RT-1: So, I finally have you to myself, lawman.
RT-1 emerged from her ablutions chamber with inadequate armor that leaves her ill-prepared for an ambush and initiated physical contact with DX-1 by placing her left hand on his carapace.
RT-1: No doubt you had been sniffing around and investigating my past. Well, as a show of good will, allow me to help your little investigation. I’m an open book.
DX-1: Your cooperation is noted, Rogue Trader.
RT-1: Would you like to do an inspection? Or perhaps a demonstration? I submit to a full body and cavity check.
RT-1 employed unauthorized contact with DX-1’s belt using her right hand, meant to provoke.
RT-1: I have skills and augmentics carried over from my brief stint as a joy girl.
DX-1 firmly ceased such activity by seizing RT-1’s hand.
DX-1: Show me rather than telling me, Rogue Trader.
RT-1: Of course, Proctor Anthar.”
Strachs had wisely decided against reading the transcript out loud, moving on to the next section of the report. It did not, however, save Solomorne’s dignity any further.
"Sexual activity began approximately three seconds after previous conversation. (Refer to Appendix B: Positional Diagram A for sequence of events.) Inspection of RT-1’s oral cavity began. Intelligence gathering compromised after RT-1's use of reverse psychology and verbal manipulation, quote, 'You can't put me on a leash, lawman.' Efforts to physically subdue RT-1 successful.”
A female Arbitrator’s nostrils flared as she referred to the said diagram, which was a quick sketch of the Rogue Trader kneeling before Proctor Anthar. She pressed her lips in a tight line and exhaled slowly. Quite unsubtly, she was doing everything in her power not to look at him.
The young male Arbitrator looked at Solomorne, then gawped at a pict of Her Ladyship, then referred to Diagram A, which had proven to be an erroneous course of action for the lad. An undignified laugh that he failed to keep in check compromised his ability to remain of sound judgment for the rest of the report. He held out his wrists to be handcuffed by the others, passing judgment on himself for his emotional outburst.
The lad will receive floggings later as corrective action, no doubt.
As Marshal Strachs resumed his narration, Solomorne’s face remained as unmoving as stone, but his ears are painfully red.
"Positioning evolved as RT-1 and DX-1 moved from the Ablutions Chamber to Bedchamber. (Refer to Appendix B: Positional Diagram B.) RT-1 made a borderline heretical remark worthy of an investigation during initial inspection and penetration of her vaginal cavity, quote, 'Throne damn you, Proctor Anthar, pound me so hard that the Emperor can hear us all the way in Holy Terra!’ DX-1 will perform necessary self-evaluation for being provoked to comply with excessive submission unbecoming of an Arbitrator."
The female Arbitrator raised a hand and waited for permission to speak, her cheeks radiating heat and red as a siren. “Marshal Strachs, with all due respect, it is of my assessment that no further verification is necessary,”she said.
Inscribia Vultur rubbed her temples. "Strachs, pause your narration. I have a question for Proctor Anthar.”
Solomorne’s already impeccable posture straightened further as Prefect Vultur addressed him.
“Proctor Anthar, did you have to include the detail of RT-1, quote, 'using her legs to effectively restrain DX-1 in a position that leaves him vulnerable to uncontrolled, fulminating discharge of biological material' and a hand-drawn diagram of that encounter?" she asked with a dispassion of a seasoned Administratum official.
“It is of my professional opinion as Proctor that it is relevant evidence of RT-1’s skill and capacity for manipulation,” Solomorne answered.
The female Arbitrator excused herself, making the sign of the Aquila and looking like she might burst. Another Arbitrator started taking notes, his visage unmoving, but his fingers danced across his dataslate with passion.
Marshal Gregoras Strachs’ expression remained dour, seemingly etched on stone. "I must agree. Let him leave the details in order for us to build an accurate psychological profile of the Rogue Trader. We might find an incriminating offense on the Rogue Trader's part. If there are no further interruptions, I will proceed once more.”
None dared to breathe. The precinct was so quiet, one could hear the faint whirring of the servos on the augmentics of those present.
“Manual inspection of RT-1’s rectal cavity revealed augmentics of dubious origins consistent with that of pleasure servitors and pleasure workers in Calixis. Further inspection and demonstration by RT-1 confirmed its self-lubricating and self-sanitizing nature. No further comments.”
The entire room was filled with various sounds of disbelief, including one Arbitrator muttering “Emperor, preserve us all from foul passions.”
“Order!” Marshal Strachs boomed. “Resumption of report will proceed! Any further behavior unbecoming of an Arbitrator will be corrected by immediate corporal punishment by power maul!”
Solomorne closed his eye, focusing on his breathing as the narration dragged on. It did very little for his body to respond to the memory of the encounter, his armor’s codpiece feeling uncomfortably tight.
“Premature cessation of activities observed after RT-1 employed illegal maneouvers with her hips and pelvic floor muscles. DX-1 lost operational discipline after RT-1 initiated an unauthorized flanking manoeuvre. Refer to Appendix B: Positional Diagram D.”
At least three more Arbitrators present excused themselves. Inscribia Vultur remained looking unimpressed as she studied Solomorne.
“Injuries sustained from the encounter: superficial abrasion to epidermis on the upper back of DX-1 from RT-1's nails. Minor bruising on wrists, neck, and hips on RT-1 from use of excessive force by DX-1. Refer to Appendix C: Injury Assessment. RT-1 expressed no verbal remorse for actions taken, instead summoning a servant for medical supplies. RT-1 personally administered first aid to DX-1."
Appendix C had two medical diagrams, one depicting a male figure, correctly labelled as Proctor Solomorne Anthar. He had marked where he sustained said injuries. A muffled cough reverberated in the precinct as they collectively reviewed the second diagram depicting where Suyin von Valancius received her bruises. Solomorne could see one of his juniors close his eyes and hold onto the Aquila on his belt buckle like a lifeline.
Strachs then made an announcement. “The floor is open for questions.”
Several Arbitrators visibly stiffened. One of them asked permission to speak. “Marshal, there is an Appendix D?”
“There are nine appendices.”
The remaining Arbitrators who did not excuse themselves started perusing the appendices with increasing interest and concern.
Appendix D was Occupational Skills Assessment. The opening reads as follows:
“RT-1’s prior claims about previous occupational expertise as a joy girl were thoroughly investigated. Results are deeply concerning.”
Solomorne braced himself as one of his juniors directed a question to him. “Proctor, can you clarify what you meant by ‘illegal hips’? Is this in reference to the Rogue Trader’s augmentics of dubious origins, or something else?”
He choked down a groan as he mentally prepared himself for the answer.
Another one was reviewing said appendix and was cross-referencing Appendix B. “Proctor Anthar, are the Positional Diagrams correctly to scale?”
“Yes.”
Somewhere in the room, an Arbitrator excused herself after making a noise similar to that of a broken flute.
One of Solomorne’s overeager peers went through all of the appendices, then went back to his copy of Appendix G: Threat Assessment’s conclusion.
“CONCLUSION:
Physical Threat – MEDIUM
Psychological Threat – HIGH
RECOMMENDATION: Proceed with extreme caution to maintain operational discipline.”
He annotated it with “write recommendation to implement and standardize Proctor Anthar’s extended endurance training in the Arbites physical training regimen.”
Inscribia Vultur shook her head and in a gray, monotonous voice said, “Marshal Strachs, this report could not possibly be archived in the Administratum. At least forty percent of it refers to the Rogue Trader’s ‘illegal hips’.”
"On the contrary, Prefect Vultur, Proctor Anthar did excellent work."
"Marshal?” she asked incredulously. Solomorne’s lone organic eye widened.
"This report shall be distributed to all Arbitrators as instructional material regarding attempts by nobility to compromise law enforcement personnel."
A vein on Solomorne’s forehead throbbed violently even as his expression remained stony.
“Very well,” Prefect Vultur resignedly muttered. “It is my recommendation that Proctor Anthar maintain this dalliance with the Rogue Trader in order to gain her trust.”
Just when Solomorne thought his and Suyin’s dignity couldn’t be trampled upon any worse, someone enthusiastically raised a hand to ask him a question.
“I have a question for Proctor Anthar. Will future reports be just as detailed?”