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"Why do I feel so heavy?" G'raha asked quietly, curled up with his head on Erenville's lap. Erenville ran a hand through his hair and considered that, looking out the window of the Annex's room. A nap room, they called it, though he understood it to be far more than that, the halfway point where G'raha had spent most of his time with folklore and fairy tales of Allag trying to earn his Archon marks, and he had. Erenville had read the thesis, the ties from what was of Allag to what was not, the many varied tests that G'raha had successfully done with help from the Sons of Saint Coinach.
He knew that this was all coming to a head.
G'raha rolled onto his back, ruby eyes glowing as he looked at Erenville, whose own golden eyes met his with concern, worry, some measure of sadness. He tried to smile, wan, but it didn't reach his eyes, even as his hand reached Erenville's cheek.
"Thank you for being here with me," G'raha said. Erenville held his hand in place and nuzzled into it.
"Of course. You're dealing with quite a lot at once."
"I thought it would be easier to handle this after going to visit Corvos," G'raha replied. His voice hitched. "I thought…"
He shook his head.
"I thought I wasn't running away," he said quietly. "All my life I wanted to be a martyr, to mean something to someone."
Erenville pet him. It wasn't the time to interject, he realized, the wisdom of his mother coming to mind.
"I've been running ever since I came back to the Source, haven't I? Running toward the next battle, the next adventure. I want to see the world, truly, and I want to see it with our friend, with you. But…"
His eyes closed. For a moment, the room was completely dark. Then it lit again in that soft glow that emanated so fiercely as G'raha faced the ceaseless darkness before him.
"But the destiny of my forebears is weaving itself into my life again. I cannot run away from it," he said dully. Erenville's heart ached to hear him like this, as if he was giving up. G'raha Tia did not give in, he did not give up. He found a way forward! "Ow."
"Huh? Oh. Sorry." Erenville ran a soothing palm over where he'd inadvertently dug into G'raha's scalp. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
They sat there a moment, G'raha's hand yet held on Erenville's cheek and Erenville's twitching claws now wrapped and coddled by G'raha's fingers.
"Your eyes don't turn red," G'raha noted.
"What?" Erenville looked at him with utter confusion.
"When we're alone like this. Krile's start to reflect mine own aetheric glow. Y'shtola, too. Her eyes take on the vibrant red. But yours don't. It's comforting."
Erenville swallowed. "You can hide here," he said quietly. G'raha blinked. "Hide here with me. We'll face your destiny in the morning."
"I can't drag you into that—"
"You couldn't stop me," Erenville replied. He tutted and rolled his head, looking at anything but G'raha's beseeching countenance. The way that man could instantly melt him…! "But if you try to face your fears alone, they will swallow you, and you won't be able to—"
He breathed in, then out, and squeezed G'raha's hand. G'raha squeezed back. "You won't be able to do what you need to do."
G'raha leaned up and kissed him. "This is far different from saying goodbye," he whispered.
"I know. I'm sorry, I…" Erenville took another deep breath, then pressed their foreheads together. "I don't want you to face this alone."
"I should have been more attentive to you that day," G'raha said. His heaviness was easing, no longer strained by the weight of an ancient Empire. Success, Erenville supposed, even if his own chest was now tightening. Some comfort he was.
"You were plenty attentive when the time was right. I would have bitten you if you had intervened," Erenville replied. G'raha chuckled, a whuff of air from his nose and parting of lips the only indication, but it was plenty. He looked up at Erenville, evidently ready to put Allag back in a box for the time being.
"It's not just Corvos. It's Meracydia as well," G'raha said, stunning them both. Erenville tilted his head.
"Meracydia? Aye, a good place to exodus to if one intends on bringing a collection of marmots for dinner," Erenville said. G'raha snickered again. "What of it?"
"That was the site of Allag's final war. It was intent on either taking over Meracydia, or dying in the attempt. It… certainly died, but not without disastrous consequences. Much of Allag's fuel was wrought from the continent, itself, leaving it barren. If I could find a way to release that aether…"
G'raha thought on it, eyes focused. The shape of his squint made a bright shaft on the sheets, which grew wider and thinner as he flexed his eyelids. Erenville watched him play, rolling his eyes.
"You're easily distracted."
"It helps at times," G'raha replied. He kissed Erenville's cheek. "Meracydia's health is my responsibility, you see. We are the reason that it was desecrated so thoroughly, after all."
"Hold on, 'we'?" Erenville asked.
"Allag," G'raha clarified.
"Is that really your responsibility?—Don't give me that royalty crap again." He held a hand over G'raha's mouth just as the scholar threatened to portend certain bloody doom again. G'raha furrowed his brow.
"It is," he said. He took Erenville's hand in his and kissed his knuckles. "Would you really come with me?"
He was so quiet, nervous, wanting but not wanting, tail flicking about. Erenville nodded.
"I will. But I presume a crash course in Allagan and Meracydian history are in my future before we tackle yours," Erenville complained. G'raha giggled again. The sound almost made the whole endeavor worth it. "Besides, I'll get to see more animals and learn more of the world's natural wonders."
"Perhaps we can even bring back the ones which should not be so rare," G'raha replied. His eyes brimmed with tears, shocking him again. "S-sorry. I don't know what's going on with me."
"Stress?" Erenville deadpanned. He wiped G'raha's tears away. "I love you."
"I love you, too?" G'raha said, trying to make sense of that fact in the face of… everything else going on.
"One bit at a time."
In truth, Erenville understood. He sat there as G'raha tried to turn the conversation to him over and over again and failed each time with a desperate little whine about this or that thing revolving around Allag, Meracydia, the Tower, Corvos. Once, even the Far East came up.
By the time they settled down to sleep the night through instead, G'raha's breathing was easier.
"I don't feel so heavy," G'raha said. He snuggled against Erenville's chest. "I… I am glad you're here tonight. Allag is far easier to face when you're nearby."
Erenville's ears stood on end. "I didn't cry until you hugged me," he said softly.
"Huh?" G'raha looked up.
"I couldn't bring myself to cry about my mother passing until you hugged me in the Outskirts. And then… And then I felt so safe, I—" Erenville breathed, but it was too late. G'raha sniffled.
"That's precisely it," G'raha said. "I feel safe here." He snuggled in deeper. Erenville buried his face in G'raha's neck, finding the stocky man moving lithely to cover him.
"The past can't hurt you," Erenville ventured.
"It will hurt so many people. It has. The Seventh Umbral Calamity already wrought havoc. What if someone gets ahold of the weaponry Allag left behind?"
"They likely already tried. They could, if they learn about you."
"Aye. That is the core of my fear. I must look after the remains if they threaten the land as our mysterious commissioner said they would."
"Right. Well, the Warrior of Light got that invitation, too, right?"
"That's correct."
"Then get over yourself," Erenville said. He nuzzled G'raha's forehead again, noses touching. "You were never going to face this alone. Your entourage is too committed, Your Highness."
G'raha laughed. "Wicked White, Erenville! What a phrase to pull out so suddenly!"
They snuggled in the comfort of one another as G'raha calmed himself, steeled himself, and finally nodded after several minutes. "I will find the way to lay Allag to rest. Perhaps, one day in the future, the people of this Star can use it responsibly, and when they can, they will find a way to awaken those great marvels on their own. They'll need no guidance from me."
Erenville smiled as G'raha fell asleep, then looked into the distance, gaze on the wall and so far beyond. He wondered if it would be him to watch over those sordid remains.