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Exes and Woes

Summary:

Danny and Tim are exes, broke up during Bruce being stuck in the timeline, and now Tim needs a ghost expert on a case

Notes:

Local white boy gets bullied by two of his exes

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There's a ghost in the manor.

Tim really didn't want to acknowledge that there's a ghost in the manor, but there is and it's unusually aggressive. 

You'd think for a ghost that has diddly-squat for years it'd be just fine with continuing to live as quietly as it has.

Well, not live, but you get the point.

If it were any other supernatural creature, he'd either take care of it himself or- a little reluctantly- call Constantine, (Not that he didn't do that. Try to take care of it himself and call Constantine. His best wasn't enough and the Hellblazer didn't pick up the seven calls Tim sent him.) but as it stands, he has only one option left.

He needs to call his ex.

Right now the bats and birds are huddled in a safehouse far from the problem. For now. (Tim hopes the ghost is tethered there and not able to roam.)

“So there's an angry ghost haunting the manor.” Dick says. “How are we getting rid of it?”

“Constantine isn't responding and Zatanna is busy with a mission.” Bruce cuts in. “Our options are limited.”

Tim sighs before raising his hand. Their options aren't just limited, they're down to one. One option that Tim is more reluctant to call than Constantine. “I know someone who might be able to help.”

All eyes turn to him.

“Why didn't you mention this before?” Bruce demands.

Tim cringes. “He and I aren't exactly on good terms.” He answers. He sees the way Bruce gears up for a lecture he adds. “Like I tried to blow him up bad.”

“You tried to blow someone up Timbit?” Jason snorts. “I don't believe you.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I didn't mention it before because I was hoping one of our other experts would be able to handle it.”

He sighs again. “He may not want to help me but he still owes me a favor.”

“What? After you blew him up?” Steph asks from the counter.

Bruce holds up a hand, stopping whatever bickering before it can truly start. “Is he a danger to you?”

“Not any more than an irritated Damian.” He shrugs. Everyone else cringes.

“So, light stabbing then, nothing too fatal.” Dick jokes.

“At worst.” Tim nods.

Bruce sighs. “Alright. Tim, call your contact, everyone else prepare to run interference.”

Tim pulls out his phone, scrolling to the number he's looking for. With a fortifying breath in, he hits dial.

He picks up at the third ring.

“FentonWorks ghost hunters, what's your ghostly issue?” A familiar midwestern voice drawls.

“Danny.” He greets back.

There's silence on the other end of the line before he speaks again with an exaggerated customer service voice. “Well if it isn't fruitloop number three! Sorry, we only accept apologies in person. Bye!”

“Wait!” Tim shouts and by a miracle, Danny doesn't hang up. “We have a ghost problem.” He mumbles.

“Sorry, what was that? Sounded like you need my help. Again.” The smug bastard. “It's almost like thats all you ever call me for.”

Tim clenches his jaw.

In four, hold seven, out eight.

“I'm sorry.” He says through gritted teeth.

“One more time, I didn't hear that over the lack of remorse.” Tim's eye twitches. He can practically hear the grin over the phone. “Fine, you've twisted my arm.” Danny says. “but I expect a real, heartfelt apology after I help you.”

“Fine.” Tim bites out and hangs up.

“How'd it go?” Dick asks.

“About as well as expected.” He answers.

Thirty minutes later, a lazarus green portal appears.

In an instant, they all have a weapon in their hands, ready for a fight. Tim jumps up and shouts, “Wait!”

They lower their weapons but remain tense as a figure with black hair and blue eyes steps out and the portal closes.

The newcomer looks around the room and lets out a low whistle. “Wow, I finally get to meet the family and they're also trying to kill me.” Danny says, unimpressed. “I see the resemblance. Now what's the problem?”

Batman steps forward. “There is an aggressive ghost in Wayne manor that has been terrorizing the residents.” He growls out.

“So you messed with its obsession and pissed it off and now you need my help.” It's more of a statement than a question. “Really Timmy, I thought I taught you better.”

Danny clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “You're lucky I still owe you.”

“I didn't piss off the ghost, don't look at me.” Tim snaps.

“And you what, didn't tell your family how to handle ghosts?” He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “With your family being so liminal?”

“Excuse me, Hi, Spoiler here, what's liminal?” Spoiler asks from her perch on the counter.

“A liminal is someone who's been around a large amount of ectoplasm for long enough that it starts to kind of stick to you.” Danny explains pleasantly to someone who isn't Tim. “At your contamination levels, you're probably just a little stronger or faster than a normal person.”

“Contamination? Is it harmful?” Batman growls.

“No, it isn't harmful.” Danny reassures, then glances at Red Hood. “Mostly.” He adds.

“Explain.” Batman demands.

Danny raises his brow. “Sheesh. I can see where you got your attitude from. Most ectoplasm is clean, it's basically got its own filtration system.” He explains.

“Then there are those stagnant pools we blew up. Those are basically pools of glowing sewage, side effects can include stronger negative emotions, madness, and a general icky feeling.”

“I'm sorry, are you saying I got dunked in fucking ghost sewage?” Red Hood shouts alarmed.

“Yeah, you should see my doctor about that.”

“Focus.” Tim snaps. “Angry ghost in my house.”

“Yeah yeah, lead the way.” Danny sighs.

A twenty minute drive to the manor later and Danny stands in front of the front door.

“You know, if I had a nickel for every time I got involved with a rich fruitloop, I'd have three nickels.” Danny states. “Which isn't a lot but it's weird it keeps happening.”

Spoiler snorts.

Traitor. Tim thinks, then stops. Damnit. I have a type.

“Well good news is, you guys didn't piss off your local ghost. Bad news, I think you got one of those sewage pools close by.” Danny claps his hands.

Tim groans. He knows exactly which lazarus pit he's talking about. “How can you tell?” He asks, resigned.

“You mean beside the smell of rot coming off the ghost? Maybe the fact that I have magic pool locating powers.” He mocks.

“You do not.”

“Do too.”

Tim is five seconds from screaming.

Spoiler is still laughing at him.

“Whatever! Can you just get rid of it?” Tim throws his hands up in defeat.

“See? This? This is why we broke up.” Danny grumbles but opens the door and starts to do the job Tim called him to do.

There's a very excited gasp followed by a high pitched sound.

“You guys dated!?” Spoiler demands.

Tim sighs deeply.

His soul is dying.

If he didn't know he couldn't escape them in death, he would consider dying.

She doesn't stop pestering him for the next ten minutes when Danny comes back out and she sets her sight on her new target.

“You dated Tim!?” Spoiler demands pointing at the ghost hunter.

Danny connects the dots. “Ah! You're Stephanie! You know my struggle.” The two of them nod in solidarity.

“Great. Fantastic. Ghost's gone, jobs over, you can go home now.” Tim tries to stop that train before it crashes and burns his fragile ego.

“Not yet.” Danny puts his foot down. “I was promised a sincere, heartfelt apology.”

“Seriously?” Tim groans.

“Seriously.” Danny crosses his arms and waits.

“Danny.” He starts. “I'm sorry I dropped a building on you.”

“And?” Danny prompt. He can feel his eye twitching.

“Stealing a time medallion.” He grits out. Danny raises an eyebrow. “and for using you as a pit dousing rod instead of my boyfriend. Happy?”

“Very.” He grins at Tim. “I bet that hurt to say.”

Danny snaps his fingers and another portal. He reaches in and pulls out a book, a piece of paper and a pen. Danny tears the paper in half, putting a summons on one half and a phone number on the other.

The summons is one Tim recognizes as Frostbite’s, the number is Danny's. 

He hands the summons to Jason, “For when you're ready to see a doctor.” and the number to Steph, “I'm here for your Tim and ghost related issues.”

Tim drags his hands down his face.

The book goes to Bruce. The title reads “Ghost Behavior and Customs for Dummies.”

“Well, I'd say it's nice seeing you again but I'd be lying. See yah!” Then he turns and walks into the portal. He gets halfway through before a green sticky note appears on his forehead.

He plucks it off and reads it. “Don't forget to tell Alfred tea time has been moved to Wednesday.” Danny frowns. “Really? Couldn't have told him that yourself? Bastard.” He grumbles as he enters the rest of the way, portal disappearing as soon as he's gone.

It's quiet for about five seconds.

“So, Danny, huh?” Steph asks, sending his sibling into chaos.

Danny is so infuriating.

Tim missed him.

 

Notes:

I imagine Tim keeps calling him for increasingly low-level ghost shenanigans and Danny keeps showing up to bully him. Mutually bully each other back into friendship at the very least.

Alfred and CW definitely talk shit during tea time. Their version of stitch and bitch.