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All her life, Swallowtail follows orders, like any loyal warrior ought to. She claws and bites Thunderclanners all night. She rips their pelts, sheds their blood. And by the time the moon is high in the sky, Sunningrocks belongs to RiverClan.
But as she watches their retreating forms of their enemies and hears her clanmates' victorious yowls, she can't bring herself to celebrate. There is no point. This won’t last. It never does. And she doesn’t understand it. Taking them back is always an arduous task, yet they lose them so effortlessly.
There’s something terribly wrong, with them, with RiverClan, with their way of doing things. A problem she’s not smart enough to see, but she can feel it clearly, like the sting of the scratches on her pelt.
Crookedstar was part of it. Too passive in his later years, even more so after his brother’s demise.
Leopardstar promises a new beginning for RiverClan.
Swallowtail is just eager to receive orders that make more sense.
[--------------------]
Stonestream is a weaver, the latest in a long line of RiverClan cats with paws blessed with the gift of crafting. He’s honored by his clanmates, constantly surrounded by them, and yet he feels terribly alone.
When he goes out to fish with his clanmates, rare as that may be, there’s a separation between them that’s hard to ignore. They walk together, but they aren’t together, never one group. When he weaves, oh everyone is enamored by his creations, but little love is given to their creator.
His parents died some time ago, in one of the many pointless battles for Sunningrocks. He doesn’t have siblings. He never had many friends. Not many cats talk to him, other than to request he makes something for them. He was close to Whiteclaw, but he was murdered by some Thunderclanner in some other even more pointless battle.
He desperately wants to belong. But no matter how much he fishes and weaves for the clan, it’s never enough. They do not have time for him. And he doesn’t resent his clan. This is a time of conflict, of constant battles. His contributions, pretty things to look at, comfortable nests to lie on, are not seen as meaningful anymore.
The only thing he has left to offer his clan would be kits, more bodies to the frontlines, but he needs a mate for that, and what molly would want to share such an isolating life with him?
He’s pondering just this, that faithful night, when the tantalizing opportunity to become part of something even greater then RiverClan arrives.
He’s by the camp’s entrance, breaking shiny shells into little pieces that he’ll use for charms, when they arrive, led into camp by no other than RiverClan’s leader herself.
“Leopardstar, who are these cats? What do they want?” Stonestream tilts his head, eyes narrowing.
“Tigerstar sent them” Leopardstar announces “They’re here to deliver a proposition”
The ‘messengers’ are two cats he’s never seen before. They smell faintly of ShadowClan, but they look more like rogues than clan cats. There’s something odd about them, in the way they look at him. He wants to question if it’s a good idea to bring them into camp, where they have kits and elders, but he doesn’t want to get on Leopardstar’s bad side. He’s hoping to get an apprentice soon. Maybe that’ll give him some company and purpose.
He nods and moves out of the way, then follows after them.
If Leopardstar has brought them into RiverClan territory, she must have a good reason. Crookedstar trusted her and he was a good leader. Leopardstar will surely follow in his pawsteps.
Leopardstar calls for a clan meeting, but when the clan gathers around her, she moves aside and lets the ‘messengers’ do the talking.
“Cats of RiverClan!” One of them starts “We’ve come here to speak to you about a truth hidden in plain sight! About the sickness that befalls all four clans! The reason behind so many tragedies!”
[--------------------]
Swallowtail listens, skeptical at first, but soon she’s taken in by their words.
As they lay down their arguments, to her, it just makes sense.
It’s uncomfortable, sure. But it makes sense!
“Excuse me?” After the speech, she goes to where the pair is eating a fish, graciously granted by Leopardstar. She sits down and gives them another “That speech you just gave… is it true?”
“Of course!” One of them exclaims “Tigerstar himself gave us the words!”
“And how does he know?”
“StarClan chose him to be our leader. He’s got the blessing of the Stars” The other one claims “He’s destined to unite the clans, makes us stronger than we’ve ever been, lead us into a future of unparallel peace and prosperity”
“Yes” The first one nods “But before we get there, there’s a lot of work to be done. A will of stone and an ice-cold heart will be needed to do what’s required. The impure and unworthy must be expunged from the clans, if the good, pure-blooded cats hope to have a future!”
She’s never been a cat of faith. She believes in StarClan, of course, but besides that, the intangible things like fate or luck matter very little to her. She’s a cat of claws and practical ideas.
And this just makes sense to her. Too much sense. So much so, that she’s embarrassed she didn’t notice before.
She thinks back to all the lives cut short unfairly. Whitefang, Sunfish, Oakheart, Whiteclaw, Silverstream, Crookedstar… to name a few. Even going further back, to the great flood. Duskwater, Hailstar, Rainflower, Shellheart…
It all started with Fallowfern and her spawns. When that idiot brought to this world those creatures, Graypool and Willowbreeze.
And it got worse when that ThunderClan scum enraptured poor Silverstream and conceived those two wretched things, Featherpaw and Stormpaw.
It’s too much to be a coincidence. Everything lines up. It must be true!
The half-clan cats.
They are the enemy!
They are the cause of RiverClan’s suffering. Death, fires, floods, Twolegs… it all comes back to them.
Swallowtail feels awake for the first time. Thrilled, despite the revelations. Finally, something tangible to put the blame on, something she can understand!
Because bad luck cannot be clawed. But half-clanners? Those verming infecting her dear RiverClan and usher in the wrath of StarClan? Oh, that’s another story.
[--------------------]
Tigerstar sends gifs every quarter moon. His cats come to speak to them every half. The speeches continue, each more fiery than the last. Those who agree see themselves being lauded. Those who do not get reprimanded and punished.
Most keep quiet, though. Leopardstar commands and the clan carry out her will, just like good loyal warriors have always done for their leaders.
Stonestream doesn’t much care from where the orders come from. He just does his job, weaving reeds, repairing dens, making little charms out of feathers.
He doesn’t even realize just how engrained they are in RiverClan, until one night, he notices that some of them aren’t leaving. Outsiders have started living in RiverClan territory. In their camp.
Some are Shadowclanners, some are ex-loners, some do not speak of their past.
He ignores them until he can’t, and then he grows a bit curious about them. One day, just as a token of hospitality, a first approach, a breaking of the ice, he offers to one of them a little trinket to put on their den.
It’s a piece of Twolegs see-through thing. He covered one side with a thin piece of bark and wrapped all sharp edges with reeds. The side that remains exposed shines with a green hue when exposed to light directly.
He’s very proud of it, even thought of keeping it and eventually presenting it as a gift to his future mate. But StarClan knows when that will be. The shine might wear off by then, and it would be a shame for this to wither still unappreciated. He can only hope these outsiders understand beauty.
The recipient is a scrawny, young tortoiseshell molly. A former rogue, no doubt. She could be gorgeous, he thinks, if she put on some weight. And took off that silly brown vine collar around her neck, which is too big for her anyways. And had a good dip in the river to cleanse the smell of rotten fruit that clings to her pelt. And groomed her fur properly to get rid of the plentiful mats that have formed. And…
Well, in short, she’s like a shell just plucked from the mud. Ugly and dirty, but full of potential.
And she gaps as she recognizes the see-through material. She calls it ‘glass’, and she’s amazed he managed to work with it without injuring himself. Truth is, he did prick his paw pad on it a few times, but he won’t confess that now.
She loves the little trinket. She beckons her companions closer, shows it off proudly. They are impressed too. Ask him what else he can make.
“Nearly anything” He replies “If you have an idea and provide the materials, I can make it for you”
Awe glitters in their eyes. They shower him with compliments and praises, they bring up ideas, mention strange materials from Twolegsplace that he’s never heard about. He feels the tip of his ears grow hot. He’s not used to being praised. RiverClan usually takes what he makes for granted. They expect his trinkets and decorations to be pretty.
They invite him to stick around. To share prey with them.
He’s got nothing better to do, so he accepts.
[--------------------]
“Where’s Greenflower?” Swallowtail wonders aloud, not realizing other cats are nearby
“She’s no longer here” A dark tabby answers her question. He smells of pine and tree sap, so she knows she’s one of those newcomers. Probably a Shadowclanner.
Blackclaw, Mistyfoot’s mate, sits by his side. He looks at her with a carefully guarded annoyance.
“What do you mean?” She blinks at him.
“You should stop looking for her” He comments nonchalantly, flicking an ear “You won’t find her in RiverClan”
“Is she on patrol?”
“Stars above! Were you born this dumb or did you have to train?” Blackclaw snaps, ears pinning back “No. Greenflower is not on patrol. She’s not coming back. She’s gone. Do you understand?”
“Gone?” Her eyes go wide in shock “You mean to tell me she left the clan?”
Blackclaw growls and seems to be ready to yowl at her, but the other tom rests his tail on his back and shakes his head slowly.
“If it’ll put your mind at ease…” The strange cat mutters “Then sure. Let’s say she ‘left’ the clan”
“No, it doesn’t!” She’s not letting this go. It doesn’t add up. “Greenflower had only recently went back to her warrior duties. She was so happy to be fishing and patrolling again. We even made plans to go swimming beneath the gorge together. Why would she leave?”
“Why do you care?” Blackclaw growls “We’re better off without that filthy traitor anyways”
“Greenflower… a traitor?” She repeats in bewilderment, blinking repeatedly “No, that’s… that’s not right” She takes a step back “There must be a mistake”
“She betrayed us by nursing those abominations” The black tom spits “We should’ve gotten rid of her sooner.”
Swallowtail blinks in confusion. What is he talking about? As far as she’s aware, Greenflower’s kits were pure-blooded RiverClan cats. She didn’t have a mate officially, but everyone knew Reedtail was their sire. He grieved by her side when they were born weak and passed away only days after being born.
Then she remembers.
Greenflower and Silverstream were close friends. When the silver tabby met her tragic end while giving birth, not too long after Greenflower lost her own kits, it came as no surprise when her friend volunteered to take in young Featherkit and Stormkit. She had an empty nest, a heart full of love and a belly with plenty of milk.
Swallowtail can scarcely believe. They’re calling Greenflower a traitor for nursing Silverstream’s kits? But Crookedstar ordered them to be brought into RiverClan. Someone had to nurse them. They were kits! Half-clan or not, letting them starve would be against the Warrior Code,
Greenflower was following orders like a good warrior. Why is she a traitor now?
“I sense doubts in you” The other tom speaks “The path ahead is hard and so are the decisions we must make. I know it’s painful to accept, but Greenflower had no place in Tigerstar’s vision for RiverClan”
“I…” She swallows “I understand…”
She doesn’t understand.
But she knows she’s not the smartest molly around. Always a bit slow on the uptake. There must be something she’s not seeing. But that’s fine. She doesn’t need to understand, she reckons. She trusts Leopardstar, and if her leader trusts Tigerstar’s judgment, then so will Swallowtail.
“Say… Swallowtail, right?” The cat flicks his ear, gaze travelling along her body, takin in her muscles and scars “I’ve heard about you, and the hundred battles you’ve fought for RiverClan” He hums curiously “Quite a fearsome reputation you have”
“You flatter me” She dips her head at him.
Though She wonders: has she really fought in a hundred battles, or has she fought the same battle a hundred times?
“What’s your take about all this?” His tail flicks towards the center of the camp “Do you understand what we’re doing? And why?”
“Not completely” She admits “I’m just glad to finally know who the real enemy is”
“Hm. Fair enough” He nods “Tell me: would you like a chance to strike at them at last?”
“More than anything, sir!” She almost squeaks excitedly.
“And will you do so without hesitation? Even if, like Greenflower, some amongst of the enemy were once your friends and acquaintances?”
A but fierce determination flares up within her.
“Yes. The future of RiverClan is worth more than any friendship”
“What did I tell you?” Blackclaw into the other tom’s ears. Swallowtail thinks he’s being loud on purpose so she can hear “Minnow-brained and ugly, but obedient to a fault”
“Hm. Yes. Tigerstar will be pleased” He blinks slowly at her and flashes a coy smile “I’m glad to have you on our side, Swallowtail. Go rest now. We’ll have work for you soon enough…”
[--------------------]
Tigerstar and Leopardstar announce that RiverClan and ShadowClan will be merging into something better. New and old. Bigger, stronger. TigerClan.
The announcement is met with very little protest, mostly from the elders, clinging to tradition. But by then, these outsiders have been living with them for moons, and most warriors have grown used to their presence. Fond of it, even. If anything, they welcome this promise of permanence.
More hunting patrols need to be sent out daily to feed all these new clanmates, however. And they need training before they can contribute properly. Soon Stonestream is recruited. A pawful of cats are assigned to him, and he’s told to take them out to hunt. Specifically, Tigerstar wants them to catch land prey. He’s not thrilled by the orders, to say the least.
But he clicks with the new cats, in a way he never thought possible. They’re friends before they know each other’s names. By the end of that first day, their patrol is successful, and he feels like he’s known them since kithood.
They go out together again many times in the following moons. He shows them the deep ponds near the gorge and teaches them how to water voles and magpies. And in turn, they take him to the swamp and the pine forest beyond the Thunderpath, and teach him how to catch squirrels and lizards.
A kind of intimate camaraderie blossoms between them, something unlike anything he ever had with his RiverClan clanmates. He was always too young, or too old, or too boring for them. But these cats that Tigerstar brought do not ask his age, nor do they care who his parents or his mentor was, and they care about him and his craft.
They always eat together. Since their hunts are so successful, his group gets to take as much prey from the pile as they want. Oddly enough, he never sees anyone taking prey to the elders and queens. He wonders aloud about this once, but he’s told not to worry, that Tigerstar has had that taken care of.
They sleep in a pile, together in the same reed den. Their own den. He weaved it himself, his new friends showered him with praise and compliments, and the next day they brought him feathers and shells and Twolegs things of every color. Gifts for him, to make whatever he wanted and arrange as he pleased.
Their generosity overwhelmed him. He might’ve shed a tear or two. Never before has he been gifted so much as a feather, not even by his parents, always making things for others. Now his new friends have given him more than he knows what to do with. Their den becomes the most colorful and delightfully decorated den in RiverClan camp.
Some of his old clanmates shoot him hateful glares when they think he’s not looking. Out of envy, perhaps? He doesn’t understand why. All that he’s earned, they could have as well, if they dedicated themselves. Serving Tigerstar isn’t radically different to serving Leopardstar. He despises half-clanners, sure, but Stonestream isn’t a half-clan and neither are the vast majority of clan cats, so why should that be a problem?
At the next Gathering, Tigerstar officially announces that RiverClan and ShadowClan have united under a new, more powerful and quite symbolic name: TigerClan! And then he makes the most generous of offers: he invites WindClan and ThunderClan to be part of it.
Once upon a time, Stonestream would’ve balked at the idea, but now he’s ecstatic. His new friends and moons of cooperation have showed him the truth. The clans need not struggle to survive on their own. They could all thrive, together as one!
So it baffles him to no end when ThunderClan rejects his generosity, and he’s outraged when WindClan openly insults Tigerstar’s vision.
These minnowbrains… how can they not see it? TigerClan is the future. The only way forwards.
Tigerstar promises to make them see.
Stonestream stands ready to help him.
[--------------------]
She should’ve known ThunderClan and WindClan would never understand.
Tallstar is old and weak, stuck in his ways. Mingled with kittypets in his youth too, let them stain him. Oh, how has WindClan suffered because of his foolishness.
ThunderClan is worse. It’s rotten to the very core. Makes her blood boil.
Leaders having kits with cats from other clans, or outright leaving to become kittypets. Half-clanners running around freely. Exiling noble warriors such as Tigerstar and Darkstripe. Murdering good, honorable cats like Oakheart and Whiteclaw. Seducing innocent cats from others clans and tainting their bloodlines, to break those clans from the inside.
StarClan’s sake, they have a Star-dammed kittypet as their leader!
Why had Bluestar made that thing her deputy? Why did she allow him to become leader?
He probably seduced her. The thought makes her shudder, but Bluestar did seem fond of tainting her blood with foreign toms, and the least is said about Firestar’s proclivities, the better. It’s a blessing to all clans that she died. StarClan knows what kind of disgusting freaks would’ve come out of her.
Swallowtail flexes her claws impatiently.
She hates them. Cursed abominations, each and every single one of them. Every breath they take is an insult to a true warrior’s way of life.
That’s why they would teach WindClan a lesson today. And they would send ThunderClan a message.
“TigerClan, attack!” Tigerstar roars, with the authority of a true leader.
Swallowtail grins as she charges into WindClan camp.
[--------------------]
Stonestream isn’t much of a fighter, but he still follows his clan into battle and stands shoulder to shoulder with his friends.
They catch WindClan by surprise, they outnumber them too. Their defense they scramble to put up is quickly overwhelmed. It’s not much of a battle, really. More like a beating.
WindClan is brought to its knees. Tallstar asks for terms.
Tigerstar barely acknowledges his request with a grunt. He scans the defeated foes until his gaze lands on his targe. He points at them with his paw, and a large white tom with black paws drags the cat from the crowd.
It’s an apprentice. A small tom. Lean build, short fur. Ginger and white. Green eyes, like a forest in Newleaf.
Their mother throws herself at Tigerstar’s paws. She wails and begs. Offers everything she can think of and more, but Tigerstar does not even look at her. Blackclaw grabs her by the scruff and drags her away.
TigerClan warriors move in, form a circle around the apprentice, still pinned under those massive black paws. They leave just enough space for the Windclanners see, but not a whisker more.
Stonestream doesn’t understand what’s happening.
“I know you’ve sent someone to fetch ThunderClan” Tigerstar growls at Tallstar “When Firestar comes, make him see this”
Stonestream turns to his nearest clanmate, still confused. His eyes meet Swallowtail’s. His heart skips a beat, but he ignores it for now.
“What’s going on?” He asks
[--------------------]
“I don’t know” She answers.
Tigerstar beckons her.
She obliges, of course. All eyes are on her as she approaches Blackfoot. Then he moves out of the way and it’s her paws now that which keeps the small tom pinned to the ground.
She looks down, and he does not avoid her gaze. She knows this apprentice. It’s Gorsepaw. She knows his parents too. Morningflower and… Cloudrunner, was it? He doesn’t look much like his father, though.
…why are they doing this? Isn’t this war supposed to be against codebreakers and abominations?
Gorsepaw is a pure-blooded WindClan cat, isn’t he? Why is he the message?
Why not Onewhisker, rumored to be having an affair with Firestar himself?
Why attack WindClan in the first place, now that she thinks about it? With these many cats, couldn’t they just assault ThunderClan and nip from the bud this spreading illness?
“Gut him” Tigerstar commands.
At Gorsepaw’s age, Swallowtail’s biggest problems was oversleeping for her fishing assessment and trying to find the words to reject Heavypaw’s courting without hurting his feelings too much.
Gorsepaw has claws pressed against his throat.
But he looks at her straight in the eyes. He doesn’t tremble. He doesn’t struggle nor beg. He dares her to do it. He’s not afraid of death.
For the first time, she doubts her orders.
She can see it in his defiance, the makings if a noble and pure warrior. So young, yet proud and stoic, like WindClan is known to be.
Why are they killing him?
Why is she killing him?
Why is she questioning it now? It’s too late morals. Better not to think. It’s an order from her… leader. She can’t disobey, it’d mean breaking the code. Code-breakers are the enemy.
In one swift movement, her powerful claws tear his belly open like a fish. Blood and viscera spill out, soaking her paws in red; a sharp tang wafts threw the air, drowning the scent of heather and grass.
His mother lets out a heart-shattering screech. She tries to push her way through, but two cats, one from RiverClan and one from ShadowClan, jump on her and pin her down. Oh, but they let her watch.
His death is humiliating and painful.
Gorsepaw’s jaws part in a silent, chocking gasp, but soon he forced them to close. He doesn’t scream. He won’t give them that satisfaction.
His death is humiliating and painful. He glares at her, baring his fangs, until his eyes roll up and his breathing ceases.
Swallowtail tried to murder him like prey, but Gorsepaw dies like a warrior.
[--------------------]
His friends celebrate the slaughter of Gorsepaw like it’s a great victory.
Stonestream can’t eat that night. The smell of blood makes him feel sick.
He tries to weave something to calm down, a base for a bed perhaps, but his paws shake too much. Morningflower’s wails still echo in his mind. It unnerves him so much he can’t sleep either.
He doesn’t understand. What was the point of today’s battle?
They didn’t take prey or herbs, they didn’t achieve much of anything, they just waltzed in and bruised them up and… murdered an apprentice.
It’s midnight and he’s given up on sleep entirely. He leaves his den and crosses the clearing. He needs to talk to someone, and there’s no one better to assuage his worries than Stonefur, Leopardstar’s deputy.
He pauses at the entrance, tilts his head in confusion. He was pretty sure the deputy’s den had feathers adorning its frame. Long and pretty ones, like the ones his friends got him. Maybe Stonefur took them down for some reason?
His confusion continues when he steps inside and finds not Stonefur, but a bunch of random cats with collars laying in a pile, sharing tongues.
“Why are you here?” He asks before he can stop himself “This den belongs to RiverClan’s deputy”
“RiverClan’s deputy?” A molly snorts “There’s no RiverClan anymore. Why would we let that guy keep this den for himself, when it could clearly accommodate many TigerClan warriors, as you can see”
He stares at her for a moment before speaking again.
“Where’s Stonefur? I need to have a word with him”
“He’s been… relocated” A tom informs him casually
“Where?” Stonestream insists.
Their eyes narrow in suspicion.
“Are you a friend of his?” The same tom asks.
He’s been around TigerClan warriors long enough to recognize a threat when he hears it.
“Not at all. He’d requested I make him a new nest. I just wanted to discuss the details. What materials he wanted me to use and when he’d be providing them, stuff like that”
No one questions why he’s doing that at midnight. Somehow, they just believe him.
“Well, we could use a bigger nest, yeah” The tom musses “Why don’t you make a nest for us instead? We’ll drop off some materials by your den tomorrow at sunhigh, does that sound alright?”
“Works for me” Stonestream nods.
“Hey, handsome?” A molly calls. He sees the glass trinket he made hanging from her collar “Friendly warning here, yeh? Don’t associate with them too much. You’re one of the good ones. You’re with us now” She blinks at him slowly “Tigerstar trusts ya. Don’t squander that, yeah?”
Them. Us. ‘One of the good ones’
He nods and leaves.
There are too many questions buzzing inside his head.
How long has RiverClan gone without their deputy? Did Leopardstar allow this?
How long has there been ‘good’ and ‘bad’ Riverclanners?
What… what happens to the bad ones?
He starts checking the other dens. Mistyfoot isn’t in the warriors’ den. Mosspelt is missing from the nursery. He checks the elders’ den. Completely empty. Nobody has seen Greenflower for quite a while either, he recalls. They say she left, but…
A foreboding sense of dread coils around his throat, like a snake, choking him.
Where are these cats? Have they been relocated too?
His hackles raise, his tail lashes. His paws grow heavy.
Holding his breath, he checks the apprentices’ den. Featherpaw and Stormpaw are missing.
For StarClan’s sake, they’re apprentices!
He doesn’t check anymore. He’s scared of how many cats will be missing. His ears are roaring, his heart thumps wildly. He feels like he’s about to throw up.
He goes back to his den and lies down with his… his friends?
Someone rest their head on his flank. A tom snuggles up to him, purring warmly. A molly slowly drags her tongue along his neck, grooming his gray fur. Another tom shifts closer and offers his shoulders for Stonestream to rest his head.
He has shared so much with these cats.
But now… he doesn’t recognize them.
The camaraderie they offer him is now marred with the fact that these were the cats who cheered when an innocent apprentice was disemboweled in front of his own mother.
Are they part of the ‘us’? Is that what being part of the ‘us’ means?
Stonestream isn’t sure he wants to be part of the ‘us’ anymore.
[--------------------]
Swallowtail is woken up in the middle of the night.
“Come” Darkstripe, one of Tigerstar’s most loyal supporters, calls her “TigerClan needs your services. ”
She follows him deep into RiverClan territory, far away from camp, her pelt tingling with curiosity all the way. What are those ‘services’ she’s supposed to provide? She’s not skilled at… anything other fighting, really.
After a good while, they step into a clearing. A few Shadowclanners are waiting for them. At their paws, a trio of apprentices are pinned down. Their eyes and noses have been covered in mud, so they can’t see or scent anything. They are breathing through their mouths, whimpering in distress.
She recognizes them immediately: Pikepaw, Primrosepaw and Reedpaw. Mistyfoot’s kits.
“Tigerstar wants to break Mistyfoot, but the old skunk is being difficult. She must be taught what happens when filth like her defy us” Darkstripe tells her “Tigerstar wants you to pick one of her kits to keep around, so we may use it as leverage later, then kill the others. That’ll show her!”
She understands then. She’s to be TigerClan’s executioner.
“But… but they’re just apprentices…” She meows ruefully.
“What’s the matter? Scared to stain your paws?” Darkstripe sneers mockingly “You did it before without a second thought”
And she still hears his mother’s wails at night. Some days, they keep her awake.
“He was an enemy” She offers as excuse, but it’s a weak one. She doesn’t believe it.
“Well, these apprentices are enemies too” He insists.
“No, they… they are Blackclaw and Mistyfoot’s kits. They are loyal apprentices, doing their best to serve the clan”
“Or so you’ve been told” Darkstripe rolls his eyes “Look, don’t pretend to have morals now. It won’t do you any favors” He warns her “This is happening tonight, either by your claws or mine. But there will be consequences if you refuse. The orders come from Tigerstar directly, after all”
She decides then and there that she cannot die. She doesn’t want to be remembered for what she’s done for TigerClan. She must outlive them.
Her attention shifts to the apprentices. How is a cat supposed to choose in this situation?
She looks at the pale brown one, shifting on her dainty white paws.
It terrifies her to imagine what these toms would do to a young molly like Primrosepaw in order to break Mistyfoot. She chooses her to die. It’s a kindness.
Now… Pikepaw or Reedpaw?
Pikepaw is gray and mottled. His eyes are blue like Mistyfoot’s.
Reedpaw is black-furred like his father, Blackclaw, just with gray eyes instead of amber. That resemblance, she thinks, will help him survive in TigerClan. Blackclaw is well liked by Tigerstar, so maybe their leader would go easy on Reedpaw.
“Let Reedpaw go” She meows firmly.
“Very well” Darkstripe flicks his tail. He sounds pleased. One of the warriors grabs Reedpaw by the scruff and carries him away. He wails desperately for his littermates. Primrosepaw and Pikepaw call out to him, before being roughly silence “Noisy little creatures” Darkstripe growls in disgust “Get this over with. I’m hungry” He sits down and lifts a hind leg, then he scratches the back of his ear with it “I hope you fish-faces didn’t spend the whole day lazing around on the sun and actually caught something good today”
Tigerstar’s cats get first pick of the fresh-kill pile. RiverClan cats only get to eat once everyone else is satisfied. They have to ration whatever prey they get. There’s never enough. They go hungry.
Darkstripe looks plump like an expecting queen. She doesn’t think he’s known hunger for moons.
Swallowtail wants to gut him right then and there. But she can’t. Not now. One day, though…
She still has to follow orders, she reminds herself, as she pads up to Primrosepaw and Pikepaw.
They hear her approaching and whimper pathetically. They cower in their places, already aware that something terrible is about to happen. Their fear scent is almost suffocating.
Seeing them like this makes her fell indescribably angry. Some strange feeling stirs, something very old, that she’s always carried deep within her heart. She wants to curse everything and everyone. She wants to curl up around them and lick their fur and whisper in their ears that everything will be ok.
Again, she asks herself: how can these be the enemy?
She closes her eyes and unsheathes her claws.
[--------------------]
Tigerstar approaches him one day when he’s alone by the river, washing some reeds.
He’s a massive cat. Brown-furred, broad-shouldered, and with a commanding voice. He towers over him, his eyes alight with interest.
“You’re Stonestream, correct?” He asks in his gruff voice. “I’ve been told you’re an expert at making stuff, from little toys to woven dens. Is that true?”
“It is, sir” He smiles and vows his head respectfully “I’m RiverClan’s weaver, and one of the best weavers ever, in fact. At least according to my mentor. I’ve made most of what you can see in RiverClan camp”
“Excellent!” Tigerstar thrills “I have a job for you. A very special one. Consider it a service to your clan and a reward for your loyalty. Something you will be remembered for”
[--------------------]
Her forelimbs are sore. Swallowtail has washed her claws and paws a hundred times since that night. But no matter how much she licks and nips, Primrosepaw and Pikepaw’s scents do not leave her. Every single time she looks at her paws, she sees her brown fur drenched in their blood.
[--------------------]
They start bringing him bones from every creature imaginable.
He experiments with shapes and combinations, makes them fit one into the other, slowly creating a stable structure. It’s certainly a challenge. Quite different that working with reeds or sticks, and much more macabre.
He’s sure some of these are the bones of cats.
Have they been excavating graves?
Is nothing holy to them?
Do they care about aything at all?
[--------------------]
One day, Tigerstar disappears close to sunset, and doesn’t return until the following morning. He arrives at camp with Firestar’s daughter in tow.
For reasons only she knows, Tawnypaw has ran away from ThunderClan and decided to join TigerClan, to live with the tom she once believed to be her father.
Hearing the announcement, Swallowtail fears for the safety of the poor dear. Tawnypaw’s blood is mixed, ThunderClan and kittypet. She’s the enemy!
Or she should be. But Tigerstar says she’s not and nobody question him. She’s given a den of her own, and first pick of the fresh-kill pile, and already Tigerstar deliberates who amongst his most senior and loyal warriors will get the honor of mentoring her.
Swallowtail starts to suspect that perhaps the ‘enemy’ is whoever Tigerstar doesn’t like that particular day.
A quarte moon later, a bunch of Shadowclanners come over too, battered and wounded, some barely alive. Mudfur and Runningnose work non-stop. RiverClan cats are forced to hunt for everyone.
“What happened?” Swallowtail asks Tallpoppy of ShadowClan. They’re acquaintances, though barely, having talked once or twice at Gatherings.
“Firestar thought we kidnapped his daughter. Unsurprisingly, he came looking for her” Tallpoppy starts explaining, sounding terribly tired, but she needs to pause. Her gaze looks haunted “There isn’t a ShadowClan camp anymore”
[--------------------]
Stonestream has been drifting apart from his friends.
Frankly, he’s scared of them. They talk of the violence they will inflict upon other cat as casually as they discuss what is their favorite prey. Have they always been like that? How didn’t he notice?
He stops sleeping in their den and sleeps outside instead, under the stars.
That is how he finds himself spending time with Swallowtail. He spots her alone by the river, sitting on a rock, gazing into the water. Her cheeks are soaked with tears.
With a twinge of warmth in his chest, he pads up to her and sits by her side. He wants the company of someone from RiverClan. He feels she needs it too.
She blinks at him, then returns her gaze to the river without saying a word.
Stonestream notices her front paws. She’s licked and bit them so much, she’s missing fur, her pads are raw and swollen.
She notices him staring.
“The blood won’t go away…” She mutters.
“But… they’re clean?” Stonestream argues softly.
“They’re not” She lifts one up to her face and rasps her ton over the back “I can still smell Primrosepaw on this one”
Stonestream sniffs at it. It smells of her own blood and the beginnings of an infection. Grimacing, he touches his nose to her shoulder
“Let’s go see Mudfur”
She shakes her head
“In a moment. I want to hear the river a little longer”
He sighs, then nods, and decides to join her. The sound of the river’s endless march, he relaxes his ears and lets it sing to him. It’s soothing, but it makes him think.
It makes him think too much.
“I think I’m scared…” The words spill out. He feels like he’s putting his head inside a fox’s jaws, but he has to tell someone “Scared of what will happen to us once Tigerstar fails”
Tigerstar claims to have a plan, but they don’t believe him.
TigerClan, as it exists, is unsustainable. They’ve known this since ThunderClan crushed ShadowClan on their own. Once WindClan recovers, they will unite and come after TigerClan. Which by now is composed of starving Riverclanners, wounded Shadowclanners, and a couple of healthy rogues and the warriors that Tigerstar favors.
It’s only a matter of time. If Firestar doesn’t kill them all, once Leaf-bare comes, starvation will. Or eventually TigerClan will run out of ‘enemies’ and it’ll just consume itself.
“…me too…” Swallowtail replies
[--------------------]
Swallowtail cannot believe this was allowed to be built.
The ‘Bonehill’ is what Tigerstar calls it. A gnarly looking thing, from which he perches atop when he addresses them, looking proud on his throne. The whole camp reeks of death.
This is it, she thinks. This is as bad as it’ll get for RiverClan.
Surely, they have no more dignity and honor left to mar?
She’s proven wrong one day, when Stonefur is dragged out of wherever they’ve been keeping him. He looks ragged, underfed and he smells of sickness. He’s thrown in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by Tigerclanners. Shortly after, Stormpaw and Featherpaw are brought out as well.
And Swallowtail realizes that it’s about to get worse.
She buries her face into Stonestream’s chest fur, almost knocking him over, and hopes it’s quick.
“I will give you a chance to show your loyalty to TigerClan” Tigerstar begins “Prove that you’re not our enemy. Kill these half-clan apprentices”
Swallowtail feels hot vile rising in her throat.
Stonefur has honorably served RiverClan all his life. He’s fished and fought by their side from the moment he stepped out of the nursery. He’s a role model. The example all mentors use for their apprentices. The warrior all of them aspire to be.
He should not be the enemy of any cause which sees itself as righteous.
“I only take orders from you” Stonefur growls. He sounds barely alive. If she has to guess, he’s talking to Leopardstar “You must know this is wrong. What do you want me to do?”
Stonestream presses harder against her. He’s still looking. She can’t do it.
He rests his head over hers and wraps his tail around her body, doing what he can to give her some measure of comfort.
“These are difficult times” Leopardstar replies “There’s no room for divided loyalties. Do as Tigerstar tells you”
RiverClan is doomed.
Even if it survives, their clan will never recover from this. The stains won’t ever go away.
“You will have to kill me first!” Stonefur snarls.
They are all doomed. And they deserve it.
“Very well”
[--------------------]
As soon as that travesty is over, Stonestream goes out into their territory and just starts walking, aimlessly, pointlessly, until his paws grew weary, then he sits. And there, he remains, swaying on his haunches, sitting on the damp ground. Reeling in silence. Trying not to go mad.
Swallowtail joins him eventually. Stars know how she found him. Or maybe she was following all along.
“None of this is right” She meows hollowly “Stonefur was the last real warrior left in this clan. Me, you, the rest… we’re just… just… I don’t know what we are anymore. Not even rogues would act like this”
He remembers Stonefur’s last moments. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget.
“I just wanted to be a part of something…” He mutters. He feels pathetic.
“I wanted purpose. I wanted the world to make sense, to fight RiverClan’s true enemies” Swallowtail whimpers, her eyes clouded “But nothing makes sense now! What are we even doing!?”
He’s about to answer, when his ears perk up at the sound of reed rustling in the distance. Swallowtail looks at him and blinks. She’s noticed it too. Someone’s sneaking into their camp.
Stonestream doesn’t know what force compels them. Perhaps some lingering semblance of loyalty to their home. But they jump to their paws and begin tracking down the intruders.
[--------------------]
Swallowtail bursts from the undergrowth and jumps in front of them, cutting off their path, arching her back and baring her fangs.
Firestar, Graystripe and another dark furred tom she doesn’t recognize stare back at her. Behind them, Mistyfoot and Mosspelt stand protectively over Featherpaw, Stormpaw and Reedpaw; the five of them look barely alive. They’re thinner than WindClan cats, ribs showing throw their pelt, scratches and bites marks all over their bodies. Their fur is matted with mud and blood, and the smells of sickness, infection and fear cling to them.
Tawnypaw is with them too, bringing up the rear. Was she a spy from the beginning or has she turned against her father after learning what TigerClan is actually about?
Firestar takes a step forward, holding her head high, and meets her gaze defiantly. His green eyes are alight with fury. She freezes under its intensity.
Graystripe fans to his leader’s right. He arches his back, lowers his head and hisses at her. The other tom, the black one, begins to very slowly circle her. His paws are quiet, she can barely hear him, but she feels his gaze set firmly on her neck. He must be a formidable land-prey hunter.
Swallowtail can take on one of Firestar’s companions, probably. But not both at the same time. And most certainly, she cannot take on Firestar and his nine lives. Stonestream isn’t much of a fighter either.
The ginger leader only needs to give the word and that’s it for her. She’ll die here, achieving nothing. Much like she lived.
“I’m taking these cats to ThunderClan” Firestar speaks, firm and clear “Stand down and be spared, or oppose us and die. Either way, you’re not stopping us” He sounds like a leader. A true leader, not like Tigerstar or Leopardstar.
If she was alone, she’d gladly meet her end at ThunderClan’s paws. It’s what she deserves. But Stonestream is with her, and as probably the only other sane RiverClan left, she feels compelled to protect him. Swallowtail moves out of the way. Stonestream wisely follows her.
Firestar looks pleased. He hums and flicks his tail.
Swallowtail closes her eyes. She feels Stonestream pressing into her fur. She hears many sets of paws getting closer… then walking past them, and her heart jumps to her throat when someone stops in front of her.
“It’s never too late to change” She opens her eyes slowly. Firestar stands before her, the moonlight coating his pelt with an eerie glow, like a mysterious cold fire “Everyone can be saved”
How can a supposedly impure cat, without a single drop of warrior blood in him, be so much nobler than half of the clan cats of the forest combined?
[--------------------]
“But is everyone worth saving?” Stonestream questions him.
Firestar hesitates.
“No” He declares “But you’ve shown you are”
“You don’t know half of what we’ve done, Thunderclanner” Swallowtail growls.
“Prove yourself, then. To us and to yourselves” Firestar insists “You know Dawnflower, I assume?”
“Of course, sir. Mosspelt’s daughter” Stonestream answers.
A darling of a molly, that one. Much like her mother. Kind, gentle and loyal. Not to mention, quite pretty. A motherly type, eager to look after other queens’ kits, waiting for the right tom to have some of her own.
It’s this softness that made her an enemy of TigerClan. An enemy of the vision Stonestream so desperately clung to, because it made him belong. How can he ever look at his clanmates in the eyes ever again?
“We were hoping to rescue her too, but finding Reedpaw took us too long. Time was running out, we couldn’t get to her, so we had to leave her behind. If there’s any good left in you, if you still have the heart of a warrior… get her out and bring her to Sunningrocks tomorrow night”
Is redemption really that easy?
Just one heroic act and StarClan would forget everything they’ve done?
[--------------------]
As soon as they’re alone, Stonestream wraps himself around her to offer comfort. Well, he tries, at least. She’s too large for him to properly cover.
“I don’t deserve forgiveness…” Swallowtail mutters dolefully “But Dawnflower doesn’t deserve to remain in this awful place any longer” She looks at him, her eyes glittering under the moonlight “T-tell me what to do. I don’t trust myself”
“But you’d trust… me?” He wonders, tilting his head.
For a heartbeat, a fierce certainty flashes on her eyes.
“With my life”
[--------------------]
The funny thing about hatred is that it’s easy to predict.
And so is violence, when it’s senseless but pretends not to be.
TigerClan is looking for someone to blame. Stonestream will give them that.
“Dawnflower betrayed us!” He exclaims during the food distribution. Many heads turn in his direction. Tigerstar’s included “She helped the prisoners escape! I saw her going out of her den last night, and found fur with her scent in the prison this morning!”
Of course, it’s non-sense. He has no evidence to show. But his… ‘friends’… quickly back him up. They chant their support, claim that they too have found proof of her involvement. They demand punishment. Soon, other cats join in, scared of not being part of the group.
And before she can say anything to defend herself, Dawnflower is seized by Darkstripe and that white tom with black paws and ears, and brought before Tigerstar.
“Are these accusations true?” He asks her with an unabashed sense of glee. This is good for the cause. To have a physical enemy. It helps distract from the fact that they’re all starving.
“No!” She wails “I wasn’t even in camp last night! I was fishing near the bridge and…”
“And now you lie to you leader!? Have you no shame!?” He cuts her off with a growl “Take her away. We’ll give her some time to reconsider where her loyalties lie”
She’s dragged away screaming, begging. She calls to her friends, to the cats she grew up with, but no one dares move a paw to help her. Some sneer at her, some simply look away, all are just thankful that it’s not them being dragged away.
[--------------------]
Swallowtail is woken up in the middle of the night.
“Come” Darkstripe tells her “TigerClan needs your services”
Of course.
She knows this song and dance. But what Darkstripe doesn’t know is that, this time, she’s prepared her claws to sing a different melody.
Deep into the woods they go. Same old same old.
They come into the same clearing where she ended those apprentices’ lives.
Are they watching from up in the Stars? Is this truly enough for their forgiveness?
Dawnflower is there, just as Stonestream told her she’d be.
She’s being held down by Stumpy-something from ShadowClan. She’s trembling from ears to tail, and her fear scent floods the surroundings.
“Swallowtail, please! You know me! My grandfather was your mentor! We used to play together when I was a kit, remember? You w-would take me out of camp and let me watch you catch minnows! And we fought together for Sunningrocks when I was an apprentice!” She pleads with her executioner “I would never betray you! You have to believe me!” The fact that Dawnflower considers her and the rest of these cruel cats a unit almost makes her throw up “You know I’m loyal to RiverClan. I’ve always been, I swear by all my ancestors! Tell them! Tell them, please!”
“You’re a traitor to TigerClan!” Darkstripe spits right in her face “You’re like a parasite and you will die like one! Swallowtail, kill her now!”
“Wait a moment, Darkstripe” Swallowtail argues.
“What’s this? You refuse the orders of our leader!?” Darkstripe snarls.
She flexes her claws. A burning, intoxicating desire nests at the back of her mind. She wants to sink her claws into his pathetic neck and watch as his eyes lose their spark. She wants him to experience the hatred she was taught to feel. She wants to kill at least one bad cat before this is all over.
Perhaps the scent of his blood will cover Primrosepaw and Pikepaw’s, and she’ll know peace.
But they’re too far away from Sunningrocks. They’d never make it before the rest of TigerClan caught up to them.
“I wouldn’t dream of it” She just repeats the words. Stonestream came up with this. He’s smart, he’s creative. She trusts him “But wouldn’t it be better if she died on a more visible place? Like, let’s say… Sunningrocks?”
“Why would we bother to move her up to there?”
“Think about it. Firestar goes for a little morning stroll and find his little friend lying on a pool of her own blood and guts” She hears Dawnflower whimpering in horror “Imagine how much it’d hurt him” And then, just to spice up the deal “Imagine how much Tigerstar would love the idea of his enemy suffering like that”
Darkstripe’s face is neutral at first, but slowly lights up with a perverse and wicked kind of glee.
“Yes. Yes! That’s an excellent idea!” He flicks his tail. Stumpy-whoever bends down and grabs Dawnflower by the scruff, then he forces her to stand up again “Let’s go for a walk, little traitor” He purrs.
[--------------------]
He’s confident Darkstripe will take the bait. That pathetic tom is obsessed with Tigerstar, would do anything to please him. Which is actually quite sad. Everyone can tell he’s just another pawn, the broad-shouldered brown tabby having little real love for him... or anyone else other than himself, really.
Stonestream waits for them beneath the willow trees, concealed by shadows. The sky is clear and the moon is perched at its highest point, but its glow seems dimmer tonight. He briefly wonders if StarClan is looking out for them, but he scoffs and shakes his head.
He hears them from tree-lengths away, steadily marching towards Sunningrocks. He takes a deep breath and drops into a crouch, bringing his belly as close as the ground as he’s able, then starts moving in to intercept them. His tail skims the grass and his paws touch the ground so softly it’s almost like he’s caressing it. He keeps his ears half flattened and one of them cocked backwards.
He sends a silent ‘thank you’ to his ShadowClan friends for training him in stealth. That will be the last kind thought he’ll spare for them. Let their time together get swept away by the river and be forgotten.
He hears the sound of water lapping at the stepping stones. His heart start racing and his throat feels dry. He licks his lips and swallows hard, his claws unsheathing in preparation. Just as his cover runs out, the moon is covered by clouds. Perhaps Starclan really is watching after all. Maybe it’s Stonefur doing a favor to the tom that used to be his friend. It’ a comforting thought, he has to admit, but he chooses not to dwell on it.
Finally, he spots them: three dark-furred cats on the shore opposite to Sunningrocks; Darkstripe, Swallowtail and someone else. The latter of which is holding down a pale gray cat, who’s most certainly Dawnflower. That’ll be his target, he decides. Swallowtail will handle Darkstripe.
[--------------------]
“Here is good enough” Darkstripe declares, and the irony of his words make her purr.
Because she agrees. Here is perfect. Her paws tingle in anticipation.
She almost purrs when she picks up Stonestream’s scent in the air. Darkstripe and Stumpy-who-cares can’t tell their scents apart, it’s all fishy to them. They don’t know what’s coming.
“Make it quick, Swallowtail” He orders “Oh, but do be creative with her. Let Firestar and his friends have a taste of what’s coming for them!”
She hums in acknowledgement.
She pretends to stretch her legs, then casually looks over her shoulder and across the river. Her eyes are unable to pierce the dense shadows cast by ThunderClan’s forest. But that’s not the point.
She raises her tail, giving the signal.
It’s time.
“Is that Firestar!?” She yowls, sounding confused and shocked.
Darkstripe whips around, his fur prickling. She takes a step aside and rears up, her outstretched paws aiming for his head.
Some distance away, she hears a surprised yelp and a ‘thud’. Stonestream has made his move.
“Where!? I can’t see anything?”
The fact that Darkstripe is that much of an idiot is a great blessing. Probably the only reason why this plan might work. If she ever meets his mother, she’ll lick her on the nose for making him like that.
He turns to her again, but by that time she’s already bringing down her paws upon her target.
[--------------------]
He catches Stumpytail off-guard and wrestles him down to the ground. Pressing the advantage, he bites down on his shoulder and pummels his side with his back paws, sending clumps of dark fur flying into the air.
But Stumpytail is stronger and much more vicious than him. He spits and thrashes against him with all his might and, inevitably, he manages to free his hind legs and kick him hard on his stomach. Stonestream’s hold on him falters, and the brown tom slips away, jumping to his paws and arching his back menacingly.
Dawnflower, who froze on the spot at the start of the ambush, finally recovers from the shock and decides to fight for her freedom too. She lunges at Stumpytail from behind, biting down hard on one of his hind legs and yanking on it. She’s not strong enough to make him fall, but she throws him out of balance.
Stonestream wastes no time and aims directly at Stumpytail’s face, paws flashing through the air. He needs to win the battle quickly. There’s no time nor reason to be honorable. If he has to blind him, so be it. His claws scour the bridge of the brown tabby’s nose, tearing at the soft flesh. The ShadowClan warrior snarls furiously as droplets of blood hit the ground. Stonestream attacks again, scoring hits across his cheek and right above his eye.
With a sort of morbid sense of amusement, he thinks Clawface now has a successor.
With Stonestream distracting the ShadowClan warrior from the front, Dawnflower takes the opportunity to jump on his back, sinking her claws on the tom’s shoulder and biting down on his shoulder. She could’ve gone for the neck easily, Stonestream realizes. But, despite everything, she’s still following the code.
Stumpytail throws himself to the ground, both him and Dawnflower letting out pained grunts as they land on their side. He tears himself from her grasps, twists around and slams his hind paws into her belly. Dawnflower wheezes, the air knocked out of her lungs, and stumbles away, before collapsing.
Stonestream wails in alarm and rushes to her side, begging to the Stars that the warrior’s claws were sheathed. Stumpytail uses the opportunity to escape, disappearing into the shadows and vegetation, undoubtedly heading back to camp to alert Tigerstar.
“Are you ok?” Stonestream mutters with bated breath, nosing Dawnflower’s side.
“I’m fine” She groans “He just got a good hit on me” She pushes herself onto shaky paws, and Stonestream promptly offers his body for her to lean on. There are a few red stains on her pale belly fur, but thankfully nothing too concerning. “I haven’t forgotten, foxheart. You tried to have me killed!” She hisses “And now you’re helping me? Why?”
“It was, er… the right thing… to do?” He stumbles over his worlds. It rightfully ears him a weird look.
A frightened wail cuts his explanation short. He’s grateful for thar. As he whips around, he sees Darkstripe being slammed down against the ground, Swallowtail towering over him. He’s covered in many scratches and bite marks, the scent of his blood is slowly overpowering any other in the area.
“Get to ThunderClan territory” He instructs Dawnflower, flicking his head towards the river “Firestar and Mosspelt are waiting for you there”
She blinks at him, tilting her head.
“What about you? You can’t go back to TigerClan now”
Stonestream knows. He feels sick
“We’ll be right behind you”
She blinks again, but acquiesces with a nod. Trusting that the grey molly is well enough to make it to the other shore on her own, Stonestream rushes to his friend’s side.
[--------------------]
Swallowtail can’t help but laugh at how pathetic Darkstripe looks, squirming under her almost furless paws. Fattened with prey he didn’t hunt, exploiting power that wasn’t his, confident that by living under his precious Tigerstar’s shadow he would be safe…
Of all the parasites that have latched onto RiverClan, he is the worst. A leech gorging on the blood and sweat of her clan. But his luck has run out, and she has her claws right over his belly, ready to return to RiverClan what he has taken from it.
“Filthy traitor!” He snarls uselessly “You won’t get away with this! Tigerstar will kill you!”
“I’m not scared of death. Not my own, anyways” She meows slowly “I’ve thought so much about mine that it almost feels like a memory…”
“You’re insane!”
“How about you? Are you scared?”” She blinks slowly, a deep purr rising from her throat.
One of her paws moves to the side of his face. She caresses it gently, before unsheathing her claws and sinking them deep into his flesh. He screeches in pain. Her paw feels warm and sticky. His fear scent is so strong.
“You are, aren’t you? Oh yes, I bet you are!” She coos.
She has waited so much for this. Finally, a chance to kill a true ‘enemy’. The one she should’ve been fighting all along.
“Tigerstar will kill you! A-and your friend and…!” Darkstripe wails. His frightened voice is so sweet to her.
“Will you squeal like a rabbit?” Her claws push into his tender belly, digging into his flesh “Will you beg then?” He flails his fore paws, scoring a hit with his own claws here and there, but it’s not enough to deter her “Or like those innocent apprentices you made me kill?” She pulls her claws out of his belly and wipes it on his chest fur “Tell me”
“Swallowtail!”
Her gaze snaps to her side, her green eyes meet Stonestream’s blue.
He looks horrified of what she’s doing.
“Stonestream, he deserves this!” She hurries to defend her actions.
“Maybe” He replies, approaching slowly “But you don’t have to be the one who does it”
“We can’t let him get away with it!” She retorts “Besides, this will send a message to TigerClan! They’ll know that they’re not safe. That they will lose! Maybe they’ll abandon Tigerstar! We could save cats!”
“So you want to be like him?” He’s almost right next to her. So painfully close yet out of reach “You want to fight fear with fear? You want to be a bigger monster than him? Is that it?”
“No!” She looks down again. Darkstripe truly is a pathetic parasite but… he looks so scared and vulnerable too. Almost like an overgrown kit, bleeding on her paws “…n-no…”
“Then what do you want?”
“I…”
“What do you want, Swallowtail?” He presses on.
“I want to kill one!” She wails desperately, trying to make him understand “I want to kill just one enemy! One evil cat! One! Just one!”
“Swallowtail…”
“I don’t want to die with only the blood of good cats on my paws!” Pressure builds up behind her eyes. Her voice becomes soft and thick with emotions “I know I’m a monster, Stonestream. Let me be a good monster for once before this is over”
He stares at her in silence. His disapproving eyes hurt her worse than any claw has ever been able to. But even if a bit hesitantly, he closes the small gap between them and touches her rough cheek with his soft nose.
“Let him go”
“He killed Stonefur” She chokes “He made me kill Mistyfoot’s kits” She insists pathetically, looking for any reason to defend her case “He had a paw in Greenflower’s disappearance and he starved the apprentice and he tortured Mosspelt a-and… and who knows what else! We can’t just let him walk away!”
But deep inside, she knows, none of that matters to her quite as much as getting the change to kill one of the bad cats. And Darkstripe is special. She hates him so much. He’s become the object of her own personal battle against her former allegiance. She wants him dead to prove that she’s not like them.
“Please, Swallowtail” Stonestream begs “Don’t sink to their level”
“I’m already there!” She wails.
She’s worse than them. Has Tigerstar killed apprentices with his own paws? Has Darkstripe?
Swallowtail has.
“Stonefur wouldn’t want to see blood spilled in his name” Stonestream mutters calmly “Let him go. He will get his dues, but not from you” His tail brushes her black “Let him go. Please?”
Swallowtail huffs and snarls and her claws flex, digging into Darkstripe’s pelt, who whimpers like the weakling he is. She’s bigger and stronger than the both of them. She could kill this parasite without breaking a sweat, and she wants to do it so badly! Stonestream could never do anything to stop her.
Though something stops her. Her loyalty to this sweet minnowbrain. Stonestream likes her, wants so badly to be her friend. He’s a little scared of her, she knows, but he still tries and pushes to be her friend, despite all her blemishes. He’s sincere about it, so much it hurts.
She closes her eyes and grits her teeth, and cursing the Stars above, she steps off Darkstripe, giving him space to get up. The coward scrambles to his paws and bolts in the direction of the camp with his tails between his legs.
She collapses on the floor, wailing uncontrollably. Her heart is seized by a deep and cold grief that she doesn’t understand in the slightest. But it overwhelms her and drowns all other feelings. She can’t even be angry anymore, she just doesn’t have the strength.
She’s just an old, weak, pathetic and pitiful molly, no better than a flee-laden dog.
Stonestream comes to her side and wounds his body around hers the best he can to comfort her. She buries her face into his scruff, crying and wailing like a little kit.
What right does she have to feel sad now, after all she’s done?
Where were her feelings when she gutted poor Gorsepaw in front of his mother? When she slaughtered Primrosepaw and Pikepaw? When she foolishly convinced herself that Tigerstar’s hateful rhetoric made sense?
And even now, after everything that happened, she still feels this drive for violence. For finding a solution through claws, because clearly she’s too dumb to think. She wants to chase after Darkstripe. Run him down. Tear him apart.
It would change nothing, but it’d be satisfying. It would bring her closure of some kind.
But she knows that if she does, she’d risk losing Stonestream’s friendship. And that… that is a price too high. It’s the only thing she has left.
“Come on…” He purrs hoarsely into her ear. And as if he can read her mind, he adds. “Let’s cross the river. There’s nothing left for us here”
[--------------------]
A long-furred white tom helps Dawnflower as they walk towards ThunderClan camp, while Stonestream lets Swallowtail lean on him for support. His friend keeps her eyes fixed on the ground and refuses to look at… anything, really.
Firestar isn’t surprised to see them. If anything, the ginger tom seems oddly pleased that they didn’t just help him, but that they’re abandoning TigerClan completely.
The warriors that Firestar brought with him do not share his enthusiasm.
“We are taking in too many outsiders, Firestar” A gold and brown tabby tom warns his leader. But it’s not a threat, like it’d be in TigerClan. There’s not the kind of malice he’s come to expect from someone calling another an ‘outsider’.
“Thornclaw is right. We can’t provide for all of them” A pale ginger tabby molly adds. Her mew, though genuine, carries a bit of an edge.
He’s startled by her visage. It’s been a while since he last saw her, but Stonestream would recognize her anywhere. Sandstorm. The daughter of the tom who murdered Sunfish. She used to be Bluestar’s apprentice until Firestar joined ThunderClan, when she was transferred to Whitestorm, so that Bluestar could mentor the ginger tom instead.
“It’s only for a moon at most. There will be enough” Firestar reassures her “If it comes to it, take from my share of fresh-kill and give it to them”
Her expression softens.
“Absolutely not, you furball!” She purrs playfully “I’ll organize more hunting patrols. We’ll search between the Twolegs' nests if we have to. But I’ll keep our clan fed, Firestar. You have my word” Large and formidable, and despite being the cause her birthright was denied to her, she doesn’t seem to resent her leader. If anything, she sounds fond of him. She’s a remarkably better cat than most.
“That’s my High-Queen!” He replies with a purr of his own, leaning closer to touch his muzzle to the back of her ear “Hear that back there? You’ve for nothing to worry about” The ginger leader looks over his shoulder and blinks warmly at the Riverclanners “ThunderClan will look after you”
Stonestream’s breath catches in his throat. Swallowtail sniffs and presses harder against him, almost toppling him down. She’s shaking. Stars, he probably is too. He’s remained at once what a real clan is supposed to look like. It stirs in him feelings too complicated to describe. And his heart breaks just thinking what the current RiverClan would do in this situation, were their roles reversed.
“I want to kill her…” Swallowtail whispers.
“Hm?” Stonestream blinks at her.
“Leopardstar” She growls under her breath “Sh-she’s the one responsible, right? She’s the bad cat. I want to hurt her. She has to suffer” There’s just so much hatred and anger in her voice, and a soul-crushing sadness behind it all “She has to feel what she’s done to RiverClan in her own flesh”
“Stop that, Swallowtail. We’ve been over this. You will do no such thing, or you and I are no longer friends” He tells her sternly.
Her gaze drops to the round again, her jaw tensed, tail dragging on the ground. She looks like she has more to say, but she’s given up on it. The fire in her eyes go out.
They walk in silence the rest of the way.
[--------------------]
Cinderpelt, ThunderClan’s Apothecary, expertly cleans their wounds and patches them up. Then she shows them their nest and asks them to rest, not before assuring them that an apprentice will bring them food later.
Stonestream lies down first, she curls around him protectively. He’s the only thing she has left from RiverClan’s honorable past. Everything else is lost or tainted.
Time passes. He falls asleep. She can’t, but she pretends. Her mind keeps reliving the moment when she let Darkstripe go. She can see his eyes gleaming in the darkness, taunting her. He murdered Stonefur and she let him walk free. She might as well have murdered the RiverClan deputy herself.
Very early in the morning, Cinderpelt wakes up and starts sorting her herbs. Not long after, a few cats enter the healer’s den. Swallowtail tenses for a heartbeat, before reminding herself she’s in ThunderClan.
She tastes the air. Firestar, Graystripe… and Mistyfoot?
“Good morning, er… is something the matter?” Cinderpelt wonders.
“Mistyfoot has something to tell us. She requested we were all present to hear it” Firestar explains.
“Yes, thank you. It’s about Featherpaw. She told me something last night that I feel you three should know” Mistyfoot stars, then pauses to take a deep breath. A tail taps impatiently on the ground. Mostly likely Graystripe’s “She’s... expecting”
“No” Swallowtail felt a cold shiver running down her spine “Oh, Stars above, please no!”
“Expect-… what!?” Graystripe hisses, outraged “What do you mean? H-wow did that happen? How do you know!?”
“She came into season while we were prisoners. Needless to say, she was terrified of what they'd do to her if any Tigerclanner noticed the change in her scent. Stonefur and I promised we’d do our best to keep anyone from entering the den where they kept us, but… 'our best' wasn't enough for Featherpaw to feel safe. I did have my suspicions that something had happened, her scent went back to normal after only a day, but I didn't want to say anything until she was ready to talk.”
“…we have to get rid of that now. before she starts showing”
“Graystripe” Firestar meows softly “I do agree we can’t let her keep it, but don’t you want to discuss it with her first? Warn her about moor fever?”
“There’s nothing to discuss. I’m her father, she's an apprentice, and I say we're doing this. I know she’s strong enough to pull through” Graystripe insists, hints of a growl woven between his words “And not a word to our clanmates, you hear?” Then, quieter, he adds “I can’t let her tarnish our family’s legacy even more…”
Firestar sighs.
“Very well. Cinderpelt?”
“Yes, Firestar. I’ll have the pennyroyal ready before sunhigh” The apothecary replies “In the meantime, you and Graystripe should check on Stormpaw. And tell Sandstorm to go check on Tawnypaw, just in case. Mistyfoot and I can handle Featherpaw. She’ll be more comfortable with just us mollies around, I’d wager”
“Check on him?” He scoffs “Give him a good beating, that’s what I should do!”
“Graystripe!” With a sharp hiss, Firestar turns on him “Your son deserves some sympathy too. If you can’t even do that for him, then go the warriors’ den and stay there until this is all over”
She hears pawsteps leaving the den, more words spoken in grumbles and hisses.
“Mistyfoot... do you need pennyroyal too?” Cinderpelt asks carefully.
“Ah. You noticed?” The RiverClan molly meows with just a hint of amusement “No, don’t worry. I was already carrying. And I intend to have them” Her voice drops to a whisper “They’re Firestar’s”
“That hummingbird got you too, huh?” The Apothecary purrs mischiviously “Congrats. I'll arrange for you to get extra fresh-kill. But it'd be best if you kept that to yourself, though. Sandstorm is trying to make it official with Firestar, and she’s already a bit on edge because I’m carrying…”
Swallowtail flattens her ears. That sounds like a private conversation, on a matter she’d rather remain ignorant. She has too much in her mind as is.
Guilt claws at her heart. Featherpaw is too young to be going through that horrid foxdung. And Swallowtail is well aware it’s her fault. She remembers Primrosepaw, and the mercy she granted her, and she asks herself why couldn’t she do the same to Featherpaw? Just sneak into that den at night, slit her throat in her sleep. Doesn’t matter if she got caught, it would’ve spared Featherpaw from further suffering.
But she was cowardly and cruel, and now the sweet silver tabby pays the price.
[--------------------]
They’re moved to the elder’s den. Cinderpelt needs space in the healer’s den, though she doesn’t tell them why.
A pair of littermates, Ashpaw and Fernpaw, have prepared a nest for them. It’s a bit rushed and uneven, looks dull and has no flowers either, but it’s comfortable enough. A downgrade from what he was used to, certainly, but more than anything Swallowtail ever had back in TigerClan. A mild medium.
His friend flops downs unceremoniously and Stonestream lies down next to her, her tail resting protectively over his back. Instinctively, she reaches down to clean her paws, to lick away the blood than only she can see. But Stonestream nudges her paws down and rests his head on top. She grumbles in annoyance, but doesn’t have the heart to push him away.
The ThunderClan elders are polite but distant, which suits them just fine.
He recognizes one of them, Speckletail, by her pale golden fur and amber eyes, plus the distinct scar on her lower back. Swallowtail gave it to her in one of the many battles for Sunningrocks, back when things were simpler.
“Hey, Swallowtail?” Stonestream whispers “Do you remember…?”
[--------------------]
Stonestream asks her about a battle. She thinks she remembers it, so she nods, but she's not sure. She also realizes that she’s not so fond of that memory either way. She’s not fond of any memory that involves violence, to be honest.
Old battles have started to blur with each other. Nothing makes sense anymore, if it ever did. So many seasons of pain and hatred… and for what? What does she have to show for it? They don’t even own those Star-forsaken rocks! She’s a murderer, exiled to their most hated enemy, and a guest of their kindness. She’s lost nearly everything. She asks herself why she ever fought anything and questions every order she’s ever followed.
“I can’t do it anymore…” She mutters, disheartened.
“Hm?” Stonestream hums, looking at her eyes with thinly veiled curiosity “Do what?”
“Being a warrior. Fighting. I… I-I just…” She feels like a traitor admitting it, but she’s so tired. She feels so incredibly old. She doesn’t trust her understanding right and wrong anymore. She doesn’t think she could ever follow orders again under vague promises of honor “I don’t want to kill good cats again…” Her voice cracks. She closes her eyes, doing her best to hold back the tears she feels building up. As much as ThunderClan has been nice to her, she can’t let them see her crying. It’s a matter of principles.
Stonestream touches his nose to her cheek. His tail slowly rubs up and down her back.
“Let’s retire then” He proposes.
“What?” She gasps, her eyes flying open “Retire? Like, become elders? Together?”
“Hm-mhm!” He moves his muzzle to her neck and presses into her fur, purring hoarsely, letting her feel his soothing vibrations “Let’s spend the rest of our lives in peace”
“I… no, I couldn’t. I don’t deserve that”
“Of course, you do! I know you think you’re some kind of monster, but…”
“That’s because I am”
“But I don’t believe you are. Stars, the fact that you feel bad proves you’re not” He ignores her retort and plants a tender lick on her cheek “You’re my best friend. Didn’t you say you trusted me with your life? Well, believe me when I say you deserve to find peace. Whatever that looks like. I promise I’ll never abandon you. Wherever you go, I’ll be by your side”
Her heart swells with so many emotions. Affection, fear, anger… how is she supposed to feel in this situation?
“That was before. There’s no need to tie yourself to me” She mutters, though she shifts her body ever so slightly closer to him “Compared to me, you’re so young. You have your whole life still ahead of you. You could still find someone. Love them. Form a family. Have kits”
“And who told you I want any of that?” He retorts quickly, sheepishly looking away.
“I can tell” She almost hisses, but manages to keep her mew steady. She’s noticed the way she looks at her “You say you don’t care, but you’ll change your mind. It’s natural for most cats to want a legacy” It only adds to the guilt “I know you want me. I’m sorry, but… I can’t give you that kind of companionship. I… I wish…”
She wishes she felt the yearning for that kind of connection. That she could give him her heart, and then accept his, forever to cherish. That she could repay his friendship with something more, with what he’s actually wanted for so long, to invite him in a way she’s never invited anyone before.
She wishes, Stars know, that she could love him.
But she can’t.
Her heart is cold and cruel. It’s never skipped a beat for any cat. And if Stonestream can’t make desire blossom within her, then she’s convinced no cat will ever be able to.
She’s lived confused and frustrated, watching cats get together and be happy, while she had to break the hearts of the scarce few that tried to approach her. It’s quite sad, really. She’s a dead end. She’ll never achieve anything worthwhile for the clan. She’ll never be a queen. She’s a murderer, and little more.
Why does Stonestream still loyally remain by her side?
“You don’t have to love me back” Stonestream mutters “Just don’t ask me to stop feeling this way. Because I don’t think I could. But as long as you’re comfortable with that, I…”
“Urgh! Stop being so nice!” She snarls, before remembering where they are and lowering her voice to a harsh whisper “Don’t you understand? The clans will learn what I’ve done one day. If you insist on being my friend, your name will be lumped with mine. You will be shunned for the rest of your life!”
“So be it! I’d deserve it. I’m not innocent, have you forgotten? I was an eager and willing member of TigerClan”
“You don’t even come close to me. I’ve killed cats, Stonestream. I’ve killed apprentices! I gutted Gorsepaw in front of his mother! I executed Mistyfoot’s kits, our own clanmates! If Tigerstar had asked me to kill Stonefur, I… I probably would have killed him it too…”
“I don’t believe that” He meow, unsure, and rests his tail on top of hers.
“And what will do you after I die, eh? What then? No one will want to associate will you. You’ll spend the rest of your days alone!”
“I’m used to being alone” He shrugs.
She closes her eyes and clenches her teeth.
“You’re as stubborn as a turtle”
“I’ve been told that, yes”
“Minnowbrain…” She leans down and presses her forehead to his “Is there really no way that I can change your mind?”
“If you’re uncomfortable with me being your friend, if my company genuinely bothers you… then say the word and I’ll keep my distance. You won’t have to deal with me again. Otherwise, no. Not really”
Uncomfortable with him? Unfathomable. He’s probably the only cat she felt comfortable around.
Hesitantly, she reaches over Stonestream’s shoulder with a paw and pulls him closer. Winding herself around him, she almost covers the smaller tom beneath her fur. He chuckles softly, snuggling up to her chest, making himself comfortable under her warm protection. His throat rumbles with purrs. She can both hear and feel them. She’s calm. It’s weird, but it feels right.
But how can she just go on living after all she’s done? The memories weight so heavily on her mind, like rocks stacked on top of a delicate robin’s egg. How long until she cracks?
[--------------------]
Days go by one after another. The apprentices bring them fresh-kill and change their bedding, the elders don’t talk to them much, and they don’t go out either.
Before he realizes it, a quarter moon has passed.
On one occasion, a blue-eyed dark gray tom, stays behind when the other apprentices leave. He’s a bit on the smaller side to be older than six moons, Stonestream thinks, but he dismisses the thought. Firestar would never sink as low as Brokenstar.
The young cat stares with round, awe-stricken eyes at Swallowtail, his youthful curiosity lighting up at her appearance.
“Those are some wicked scars!” He gasps with a charming mixture of amazement and concern.
Stonestream cringes when he realizes the apprentice is talking about her almost furless fore paws.
“I… suppose they are…” Swallowtail answers with a shyness quite uncharacteristic for her. But the question doesn’t affect her like he expected. Her fur remains flat and her posture relaxed. Stonestream tilts his head and gives her a playful look, which is answered by a half-hearted growl.
“Did it hurt?” He asks innocently.
“…yes…”
“Were you scared?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t even remember when…” She pauses, looking over herself, inspecting her own battle-worn body “I must have been”
The little Thunderclanner blinks warmly at her, his tail curling up over his back in delight. He unexpectedly pads up to her and rubs himself against her chest, then lays down over her almost furless paws.
“I like you. You don’t lie” He purrs “Mom is always saying that warriors don’t get scared, but I’ve picked up fear-scent in our camp a few times”
And surely with good reasons, Stonestream reflects.
“Well, I like you too” She purrs. He hasn’t heard her do that in a while “What’s your name, little one?” She asks, shifting closer to take a little sniff of this young cat’s scent
“I’m Rainkit” He purrs. Noticing Stonestream’s gaze on him, he looks offer and gives him a friendly blink “Hello, sir! Who might you be?”
Ah, so he’s just a kit. That explains it.
“Stonestream” He replies simply, then he nudges his friend encouragingly.
“Right. And I’m Swallowtail. Sorry, I forgot” She adds. Subtly, she pulls the kit a bit closer to her. She holds him protectively, shielding him, not unlike a queen with her own kit.
Stonestream wonders if she’s scared something will happen to him. If she’s imagining Tigerstar raiding this camp at any minute and taking from them this charming little moment of normalcy.
“You’re from RiverClan right?” Rainkit goes on, taking a tentative sniff at her fur “You smell a bit, like, muddy but… not unbearably fishy like I was told. I guess that’s a lie too”
“Well... some of us do smell like fish guts” She makes a silly face on purpose, which elicits some giggling from the young tom “We don’t mind, though”
“Isn’t it weird to smell like your fresh-kill?”
“I don’t know. To me, it’d be weird not to!” She purrs softly.
It’s hard not to notice how relaxed she is. Her purr is sweet and gentle, her eyes shimmer with affection, her voice is softer than he’s ever heard before, her tail has begun to sway slowly from side to side. Swallowtail is enjoying herself with this little kit’s company.
Has she already fallen into an elder’s mindset? Or has she always been fond of kits, the constant fighting never allowing her to express it?
Stonestream thinks it’s a cruel joke of fate that a cat like her, with such a clear passion for motherhood, doesn’t want to be a mother. A part of him holds onto the hope that one day she’ll change her mind and will let him father her kits. But for now, his heart swells with affection for her, and he silently thanks Rainkit for giving his friend this moment of happiness.
“I have to go now” Rainkit meows “I’ll be back tomorrow. Maybe I’ll help the apprentices clean your bedding. Mom says it’s important to help”
“Y-yes, please come back” Swallowtail replies quickly “I’ll tell you a story if you want? O-or rather… Stonestream will! He has good stories, r-right?” She looks at him, silently begging him to say yes.
He smiles.
“I might have a couple”
Rainkit’s ears perk up at the promise of a story. New ones, at that. From across the river. Things he’s probably never heard before. That must be very enticing for a young kit.
“I’ll be back! I promise!”
[--------------------]
Rainkit doesn’t come.
Stormpaw comes to change their bedding instead.
He gathers up their old moss in silence and carries it away. Moments later, he returns with fresh moss and starts making them a new bed with it. All around the elders’ den, the other apprentices are doing the same.
“How are you?” Swallowtail asks him. The silence is killing her. It takes her back to that horrific morning.
“Much better now that I’m allowed to eat” Stormpaw replies, his voice coldly neutral.
She considers it fair. She’d have even harsher words if she was in his place.
“And Featherpaw?”
“Still in the healer’s den”
“…I see”
She feels Stonestream’s tail twining with hers and squeezing it slightly.
“And how are you fitting in, boy? The other apprentices make you feel welcomed or…?” Stonestream wonders.
“They make fun of me for not knowing how to pluck feather from a robin. They also call me fish-face and cross-breed all the time. And there’s this one apprentice who's always tailing me, I dunno if he wants to kill me or court me. But you know what?” He snaps at her bitterly “I feel a hundred times safer around them than I ever did back in RiverClan”
Her heart breaks for these kits. Half-clan, practically abandoned by their kin and forsaken by their clan. Why, she now wonders, did Leopardstar insist so much in bringing them to RiverClan, if she was going to subject them to so much suffering? Was it only to spite Firestar? Petty politics?
“I understand” What else can she say to that? “I’m sorry…” She knows that no excuse or apology will ever be enough, but she has to try “I should have…”
“Oh, shut up!’” Stormpaw cuts her off “You’re ashamed. You feel guilty. You’re worried about what’s going to happen to you. But you’re not sorry” He narrows his eyes challengingly and pulls back his lips, exposing the tip of his fangs “Stop pretending you changed. You’re a sick, fox-hearted murderer, and you’d kill me on the spot for a pawful of minnows”
The words cut through her soul like cold and sharp claws. The worst part is… Swallowtail isn’t sure if she’s right or not.
She’s terrified of the fact that she just might…
“I…”
Stormpaw isn’t interest in what she has to say. He swipes at the half-made bed, tossing chucks of moss at her feet.
“Make you own bed!” He hisses, then quickly stomps out of the elders’ den.
[--------------------]
A couple of days go by.
Swallowtail barely eats, and talks even less.
Rainkit visited at last, and she made an effort to give him some attention, but her heart wasn’t into it anymore. He did find some entertainment in Stonestream’s stories, so he thankfully didn’t notice her mood.
Food is scarce, but they’re always given something.
The camp is abuzz with activity. Rumors are going around. A big battle is coming, they say. ThunderClan and WindClan are preparing to put an end to the whole TigerClan charade. Stonestream couldn’t be happier.
Firestar visits them one day, probably looking to relieve some stress by interaction with his clan.
“Good day, honorable elders!” Firestar greets them as he walks through the entrance “How’s the prey running in here?”
“Thankfully, not at all by the time it gets here!” A tortoiseshell molly answers, her whiskers twitching with amusement. He thinks her name is Dappletail.
“We wouldn’t mind having more, though” Smallear, the only other tom there besides him, adds.
A comment like that would’ve got someone excluded from the next two fresh-kill distributions.
Here, Firestar nods graciously.
“I have hunting patrols out. You’ll get more fresh-kill before moon-high. You have my word” He dips his head respectfully, then turns to face the RiverClan pairs “And how are our visitors faring? I hope our prey has been palatable enough for you”
This kind of honorable and kind leader, Stonestream reminds himself, is what his previous ideology opposes.
He will never let himself forget. He will bear the memory as a mark of shame, but also of growth.
“You’ve shown us kindness far beyond what we deserve…” He mutters, hoping Firestar understand how much this means to him. How shocking it’s been, but how necessary to see.
The ginger tom raises an eyebrow.
“Hardly. But I appreciate the sentiment” He sits down in front of them, tucking his paws under him. He’s so casual about it, doesn’t seem bothered that Swallowtail towers above him. Tigerstar would never… “By the way, I’ve given temporary mentors to Featherpaw and Stormpaw. They’re taking it easy for now, Featherpaw only got out of the healer’s den a few days ago, but Mistyfoot thought their training shouldn’t stall due to… our circumstances, and I agreed” He lifts a paw, gives it a lick and drags it over an ear “Just thought you’d like to know”
That’s good. Perhaps training will serve as distraction.
“I don’t suppose any of those mentors are good swimmers, are them?” Stonestream asks. It’s not that he’s not grateful for what they’re doing, but whatever training ThunderClan is providing them just won’t be appropriate for a RiverClan apprentice.
“I’m sorry, but it’s not safe for them to go near the river. You understand, surely?”
“They… they’ll earn their keep” Swallowtail speaks softly, taking him by surprise “They’re good cats”
“Oh, that they are” Firestar responds and… he sounds almost wistful.
“Good RiverClan cats” She adds, perhaps a bit too harshly for his liking.
He blinks at her in faux innocence.
“RiverClan isn’t a safe place for them. Besides, they have no kin there” His eyes shift between them, issuing a quiet warning “I can’t in good faith let them go back”
“Leopardstar might have something to say about that” Swallowtail growls.
Stonestream grimaces. After hearing how Stormpaw feels about RiverClan, he isn’t sure it’ll matter.
“Oh, I’m sure she will” Firestar purrs. The worst part is that it’s sincere. Stonestream realizes that Firestar genuinely finds the possibility of Leopardstar retaliating laughable “But once this is all over, I doubt she’ll have enough claws to back up her words” He rises to his paws and offers them a polite nod “Nothing you two should worry about, of course. Enjoy your retirement and let us hot-blooded younglings deal with this”
Swallowtail growls something under her breath, too quiet to make out.
Stonestream mutters a lukewarm “Thank you”. Because he’s right, after all. As elders, they have no say in what their leaders do.
“One more thing” The ginger leader leans closer, his voice dropping to a whisper “I know what you did in WindClan. Let me tell you, the only reason you’re still alive is because Mistyfoot asked me to spare you” His eyes settle on Swallowtail “You won’t be harmed, I promise. But I hope you live a long, long life, with the memory of what you did eating you from the inside. I hope you never know peace; I hope your atrocities haunt you in your sleep” He pauses, flashing her smile “I hope you rot” He blinks at them, purring, then turns to leave “Anyways, have a good one!”
[--------------------]
“Stonestream” She meows softly, prodding his side. His eyes flutter open and he sighs tiredly. He’s sick of her, she can tell. Yet he still remains by her side. She owes him so much.
“What is it?” He grumbles.
“I’ve been thinking about leaving…” She confesses. It’s an idea she had back in RiverClan, but it only know seems feasible “Go into Twolegsplace. Let a Twolegs take me” He gasps, his eyes of wide. She shrinks in her own pelt “Would a Twolegs want an old cat like me? Stars, I must look so ugly to them, with all these scars. But maybe if I try to be friendly…?”
“What in Silverpelt are you saying!?” He hisses, outraged “Where’s this even coming from?”
“I just thought…!”
“No! If you were seriously considering leaving me to go become a kittypet, then you were clearly not thinking!”
“I, uh, was going to invite you?” She wasn’t “I just thought it’d be easier for RiverClan to heal if I wasn’t there”
“…Swallowtail, listen: we have to move on” He begs her, shaking his head slowly. She can tell how hurt he is. How much pain it causes him to remain by her side. She wants him to leave her, yet she can’t bring herself to ask him.
“I can’t!” She’s tried to move on, to suffer in silence, but it’s simply too much. She has to look at Mistyfoot silently mourning the two kits Swallowtail took from her. The elder wants to confess everything, to give closure to the both of them. But she can’t. What would Rainkit think of her? “You promised you’d follow me anywhere” She reminds him.
“That, I did. And if you really want to leave, I promise I’ll leave with you” He reassures with a gentle lick on her cheek. She knows he’s telling the truth. And that he despises the idea “But running away is not the solution, Swallowtail. RiverClan won’t forget what we did just because we’re not there. And getting collars and eating stale pellets won’t make us forget either. You know that, right?”
“…yes…”
“We’re elders now. It’s our duty to keep memories alive, no matter how painful they are” He states matter-of-factly “The future generations must be warned, so this doesn’t happen again. RiverClan counts on us”
“How do we even know if there’ll be a ‘RiverClan’ at all when this is over?”
She doesn’t want to think too much about it, but things were bad when they left. And there’s no reasons to believe they haven’t continued getting worse. After everything RiverClan has done, with such a prime opportunity at his paws, can they really trust Firestar to not just wipe out ThunderClan’s eternal rival off the face of the earth?
“Well, from what I’ve gathered, Firestar is an honorable leader”
“We’re in ThunderClan, my friend” She reminds him, the slightest hint of humor entering her voice “Of course they’ll talk him up. He’s their leader and we’re outsiders”
“Still, we should trust he’ll conduct himself”
“I hope you’re right” She glances at the entrance and twitches her ears “You think Rainkit will come visit today? I’d thought of a funny story for him”
“What, again? I don’t think so. Especially not this late. You’ll have to save it for tomorrow”
“That’s a pity. I was hoping… wait…” She blinks “You said again?”
“Yes? He was here this morning, don’t you remember?”
“What are you talking about? It’s still morning! We woke up just a heartbeat ago. The sun had barely...!”
She glances at the entrance again, and on the other side sees only darkness. Night fell already, her body felt tired like she'd been actively all day. But she didn’t notice any of that? And apparently, she forgot about Rainkit visiting too?
"What's going on?" She blinks in confusion, pressing a paw to her head.
“Swallowtail?” Stonestream nudges her shoulder, looking concerned “Are you ok? You look...”
“Yes, Whitefang, I'm fine. You don't have to…”
“Er… Whitefang isn't here? He's been dead for a while”
“Stonestream. Sorry, right, got confused. But… I’m ok. Just... maybe a little tired"
He doesn't look convinced, but thankfully, he drops the subject.
"Well, if you say so"
"Yes, don't worry, friend. I'll... I'll be fine”