Chapter Text
Robby rolled over with a groan. He and Jack had a perfect day. Lazy and lackadaisical. Warm coffee, gentle sex, and delicious dinner.
Jack snored softly beside him, the blankets pulled tightly around him, up to his chin. Robby smiled softly before remembering the reason he had woken up was that one of their phones was buzzing.
Robby sat up and leaned over Jack’s sleeping form to grab Jack’s phone. It was an unknown number.
“Hello?” Robby half whispered. Jack was a heavy sleeper, but Robby was still polite.
“Hi, Jack?”
“Um, this is Robby, his husband. Can I take a message for him?”
“Of course, this is Anna from Hillside Funeral Home. I just wanted to inform him about some regular maintenance that is going to be happening for a couple of weeks at the cemetery.”
Robby felt a cold sweat wash over him. He regretted picking up the phone at all.
“Sure, okay. I can tell him.”
“I know Jack likes to visit on Sundays, so I wanted to assure him I can make sure his flowers make it to her grave while they do the maintenance.”
“That’s very kind. I’ll let him know. Thank you.”
The phone call ended. Robby turned over his shoulder to see Jack continued sleeping peacefully. He looked happier in his sleep, younger, less jaded.
Robby leaned over Jack’s body again, replacing the phone on the charger. He laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. He knew Jack had to wake up soon for his shift.
“Hey,” Jack nodded at Robby as he came through the emergency room doors. “I’ve got a quick facial lac who needs discharge, and then we can round.”
Robby nodded dutifully. He waited until Jack returned, ready for handoffs. Jack walked him through the patients who needed boarding beds, recent admissions, and patients who needed to be monitored closely.
Once the medical students and residents had their assignments, Robby pulled Jack aside. He tamped down the nerves that pulled at his stomach and tingled his fingers.
“Real quick, before you go,” Robby tucked them into a corner that was away from prying ears. “The funeral home called.”
Jack froze momentarily. Something unfamiliar flashed in Jack’s eyes before being replaced by something more guarded.
“Okay…”
“Ann—”
“Anna, yeah, she’s the funeral director.”
“She just wanted to let you know the cemetery will be closed on Sunday. She said she can deliver the flowers for you, if that’s what you want.” Robby trailed off. He was looking at a spot on Jack’s shoe.
Jack rubbed at his face, then sighed and turned on his heel.
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Sunday came and went. Robby didn’t ask about it, but he knew Jack had disappeared at 10:13 a.m. and was back before noon. Early on in their relationship, Robby had offered to go with Jack, but he was always turned down. He tried not to be offended.
In his darkest, evilest, envy-filled moments, he would Google Jack’s widow’s name. He had her obituary memorized. He had stalked her cousin’s dog-sitter’s sister’s Facebook. He knew her stats from running track in college.
Robby would pretend he wouldn’t notice how Jack would disappear on the anniversary of her death. He would always crawl into bed in the early morning, completely drunk off his ass. The first time they spent Thanksgiving together at Jack’s parents, every photograph that was displayed cut him a little more.
But Robby wasn’t evil. He wasn’t envious of a dead woman. He was patient. He never asked Jack to make space for him in the same way his wife did.
The front door quietly clicked shut. Robby was standing against the counter, sipping his coffee. It was just past 7:30 a.m., which meant The Pitt must have been kind to Jack. He toed his shoes off and gently brushed his lips against Robby’s cheek.
“Good shift?” Robby murmured around his coffee cup.
“Fine,” Jack half-heartedly shrugged. “Busy and chaotic, just how I like it.”
Robby nodded, like he understood. He did. He tried to.
“Go to bed. I’m going to run some errands.”
“Can you do me a favor, actually?” Jack twisted his wedding ring nervously.
“Of course.” Robby smiled, trying to ease the tension in his partner’s face.
Jack paused and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I didn’t get over to the cemetery yesterday. Can you bring the flowers I bought?”
“Yeah. O-of course.” Robby wanted to ask where Jack had disappeared to then, but he refrained. He picked up the bouquet on the kitchen counter, the paper crinkling under his fingers. Robby went to say something, but Jack had already disappeared.
The cemetery was nice, quiet, and neat. It was tucked behind the funeral home. Robby peered into the front office and knocked politely.
“Excuse me? Are you Anna?”
A kind older woman looked up from her desk. She was dressed modestly in an appropriate shade of black for her profession.
“Yes?” Her glasses slightly slid down her nose.
“I’m Robby, we talked on the phone. I’m here for Jack.”
“Oh, very nice to meet you.” She smiled. She made a motion to the bouquet in his hands. “I can take those.”
Robby handed them over. He nodded in thanks. He was just about to turn to leave when a gentle hand stopped him.
“Would you mind telling Jack that I got the paperwork for his prepaid funeral? We can either add his name now and hold off the date or just do it all together when the time comes.”
Robby furrowed his brow for a second before forcing his face back to neutral. He said his goodbye and got into his car. His drive back home was silent.
❁✿❀❁✿❀
Jack was sitting at the kitchen island, eating directly out of the pan. The fragrant smell drifted to Robby’s nose, eliciting a grumble from his stomach.
Robby opened a drawer, procuring a fork, and snagging a bite himself.
“Good shepherd’s pie,” he said, licking the fork annoyingly.
“Thanks. It took a lot of effort. I had to wait like 30 minutes for it to defrost.” Jack stuck his tongue out at him playfully.
Robby watched Jack. He favored his left leg, limping a little.
“Go sit on the couch. Take the leg off.” Robby pushed him a little.
“If I go sit on the couch, I’ll never make it to bed.” Nevertheless, Jack staggered to the couch and relaxed back against the cushions. He released the prosthetic and set it aside, massaging his stump gently.
Robby cleaned up the remnants of dinner. He spun his own wedding ring on his finger. Their rings were mismatched, Jack’s was from his first marriage. Jack had insisted he would do a big wedding if Robby wanted one. But Robby couldn’t push away the guilty feeling of making Jack and his family go through another wedding. The feeling of replacing someone he never could, nor ever would want to.
They had settled for a quick trip to the courthouse. Just like in their line of work, efficient, proficient, effective. Robby didn’t mind.
“Can you grab me a beer?” Jack’s head lolled on the back of the couch.
“Yeah.” Robby rummaged for two beers, already popping the caps off with the bottle opener. He stood a little away from Jack, taking a sip of his own.
“By the way, Anna wanted me to tell you she got your paperwork. She can add your name now or later, up to you.”
Jack nodded appreciatively. He didn’t comment further.
“I… I uh didn’t know you were going to be buried there.” Robby immediately felt that it landed wrong.
Jack pulled his legs closer to himself. He set his beer down on the coffee table. Robby itched to grab a coaster and set it underneath it.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you had a prepaid funeral. That’s all.”
“It’s none of your business.” Jack’s eyes narrowed.
“I’m your husband.”
Jack looked at his prosthetic, like it would magically reattach and carry him away from this conversation.
“What the hell are you asking, Robby?”
“Nothing. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Hmm.” Jack picked up the prosthetic and started to reattach it.
“But don’t you think you should have told me?” Robby’s mouth was dry. “I mean, we’re talking about the rest of eternity, Jack. W, w—”
Jack meandered down the hall. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Where am I going to be buried?” Robby followed him, suddenly emboldened by Jack’s nonchalance. “Do you even care?”
“I’m not planning on burying another spouse, Robby.” Jack was slamming drawers now. He was looking for something, but Robby didn’t have a clue what.
“Oh, that’s great, Jack. You can be buried and put to rest and let me figure it out for myself.”
“How did we even get here? Why are we fighting about this? We’re 50, not 100. It’s a problem for later.”
“It’s a problem for me later. You already have a prepaid funeral.”
“Yeah. The funeral home said it was a good idea when my wife died.”
Robby took a deep breath. He thought he could calm down, but suddenly his insecurity reared its ugly head.
“Of course.”
Jack spun around so fast Robby was nearly knocked off balance from how close he was standing.
“Don’t do this. Don’t push it.”
“I’m not your wife, Jack.”
“I know that.”
“Do you resent me for it?”
An excruciating silence overtook the room. Robby immediately wished he could take it back.
“You’re jealous of a dead woman now?” Jack scoffed. He pushed past Robby and went for his shoes.
“We’re not done here. You’re walking away from this?” Robby wanted to cry, or scream, or both, or neither.
“Fuck off, Robby.” Jack slammed the front door as he left.
Robby ran a hand down his face. He walked over to the living room. Jack’s untouched beer dripped condensation onto the coffee table.