Chapter Text
The call comes late at night. So late that Niall almost doesn’t answer. Decides to let the phone ring, he is high and feeling miserable like most nights.
Earlier that night he had a male prostitute at the apartment, a little treat for himself to celebrate his latest royalty check from the book, but it didn’t make him feel much better.
Nothing really seemed to lately.
Maybe I should just accept I’m not a person really built for happiness.
But it was kinda disappointing nonetheless, for so long he believed that literary success would be the thing that would finally make him happy, but no. Author of a bestseller and still the same miserable cunt as always.
He answers his phone, and the voice asks if he accepts a call from the Glasgow penitentiary.
This immediately sparks his interest. It’s not that unusual for Ruben to call, but not so late at night.
“Finally Bambi! What the fuck is the point of you having a phone if you're not going to answer?”
“It's late Ruben. It's not the time to be calling me.”
“I wouldn't if it wasn't important. Apparently Mona is at the hospital, my son might be born today. You have to be there, take pictures for me and stuff.”
“It's way too early. Mona is not supposed to give birth for at least a couple more months.”
“I know that but it's what they told me. So chop chop get in there, it's time to meet your nephew.”
For fuck sake even in prison he still wants to boss me around.
But still Ruben sounds so happy, so utterly gleeful about his miracle baby that Niall can't bring himself to complain. During the trial Benji asked for a DNA test for Mona’s child, and when the results came back saying he was not the father Ruben automatically assumed the child was his.
He is happy right now because of me. I did this. And if he knew he would kill me. Or worse, hate me and never speak to me again.
“Fine, I'm going.”
.
.
.
The last time Niall was at that hospital was the day his and Ava’s son was born. During the pregnancy he kept hearing from people that women feel like they're mothers from the moment they find out they're pregnant, and men only when the child is in their arms.
And he believed that.
He was with her at the delivery room, after taking the baby from inside her and cutting the umbilical cord the doctor put his son in his arms.
And he felt nothing.
He saw this as a definite proof of how utterly broken as a human being he was. He saw Oliver once a week since then, usually in one hour supervised visits from Ava. He offered himself to take care of the kid if she ever needed a babysitter or wanted a day off, so far she didn't take him up on the offer. A part of him felt relieved she didn't, and a lot of him felt ashamed of that relief.
He goes to the hospital reception, identifies himself as Mona Shiels brother in law and gets a weird look from the receptionist.
She asks him to wait.
About twenty minutes later a Doctor comes to speak to him.
“Mr Kennedy, are you the closest relative to Mrs Shiels? Can you contact her parents? ”
“Her mother passed away a couple of months ago, her father a few years before. She has a sister who lives in London I think, but I don't have her number. And her husband, my brother, is in prison. Why?”
“I’m afraid there were some complications during the birth, she developed preeclampsia that escalated into full eclampsia, and we tried our best to revert her condition, but we weren't able to save her.”
No. Ruben is going to be crushed.
“And the child. He died as well?”
“He is alive, but in the neonatal unity at an incubator.”
“May I see him?”
“Yes.”
He is taken to the neonatal unity where he is given a face mask, nitrile gloves and some type of disposable overcoat to put over his clothes before coming inside.
Niall is conducted to an incubator with a very small slightly yellowish baby, he is not a pretty infant, certainly not compared with Oliver who born all fat and pink. But still he feels a rush of emotion and protectiveness looking at him. It feels like all the things people said he would feel when he held his child for the first time.
Ruben’s kid. My kid. Ours.