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The air was cold, the people tracking up and down the street clutched at their coats and scarves trying to wrap them impossibly tighter around themselves to keep their bodies protected from the unforgiving chill that only grew more intense as night fell across the city. The winter months were always particularly cruel. The icy air would feel nice at first, clean and crisp as it hit your face, and almost as refreshing as the most perfect glass of ice water once it entered your lungs, exiting again in a small white cloud. But as the short hours passed by, that air would begin to nip and bite, causing a kind of discomfort no one in their right mind would ever choose to endure without good reason. Felix thought this was as good a reason as any, lifting a trembling hand once more to view his watch. Another ten minutes had passed. Another ten minutes of him left stood against the wall, waiting. Enduring. He had considered hauling a taxi to go back home every time he had to shake his head and flash a small smile of reassurance at each person who asked if he was okay as they passed him. Each time it happened, they gave him a small, pitiful smile back, then entered the restaurant without another word. The restaurant he should be inside too. The restaurant he had been standing outside for almost half an hour now. The warm glow of the lights through the window and the smell of fragrant food that wafted out of the door each time another person entered taunted him, but they were also the only things that kept him there, hopeful. Hopeful that, eventually, he would be able to enter and let that warmth encapsulate him. So he stayed, he waited, and he endured.
The clock drew close to the next hour, and as Felix dropped his arm again, he could only let out a small laugh to himself. Was he really going to keep waiting? Keep hoping that someone will finally show up? That his messages will finally get a reply? He would have to accept his fate eventually, at this rate he would end up with hypothermia. He decided to cross the road onto the quiet side of the street that looked out onto the river. He watched the reflection of lights calmly dance in the waves, the sound of each collide creating a melancholic ambience. Truthfully, he half regretted putting himself closer to the water, it didn’t make the climate feel any better, but the tears that began to fall gave a small relief to his cheeks, each hot streak drawing a line of warmth before the breeze came to cool it down again. Defeated, he turned to face the restaurant again before he lowered himself down to the cold concrete. He sat there with his knees tucked as close to his chest as he could get them, and he let the tears continue to temporarily warm his face. He didn’t sob, in fact, he didn’t make a sound, his face unmoving except for the slight quiver of his lips and scrunch of his reddened nose every time he sniffled in another breath. He didn’t feel bad for himself, he was just upset he was stupid enough to stay. To stand and endure the discomfort for way longer than anyone in their right mind would ever consider without good reason, for what he now realised was not a good enough reason.
His chin rested on his arms as he sat there, curled up and listening to the water below him continue to lap over itself, watching the people continue to enter and exit the restaurant. He didn’t know how long he had been there, or how much longer he would be there until he finally decided to pick himself up and leave. Every now and then, someone would pass him and ask if he was okay, but once they got the lie they wanted to hear, they would continue on their journey. Hey, are you alright? Yeah. Then the next. Hi, is everything okay? Yeah. And another. Hey, what’s wrong? Nothing, it’s fine. Well, clearly it’s not.. What.. Felix lifted his gaze to the figure standing just to the side in front of him. His eyes were soft, kind, looking down at him with a light layer of concern draped across his face. Felix followed his movements as the man lowered himself down on the ground next to him.
“Seriously, are you alright?” He asked again, “It looks like you’ve been crying...”
Felix hesitated for a moment, unsure of why a total stranger would care, let alone want to talk about it.
“Um, yeah...” He started, dropping his eyes back down to his hands that were fiddling with the ends of his sleeves, “I, uh, kinda got stood up.” Felix let out a humourless laugh.
The other's expression grew sadder, clearly feeling bad for the small, freckled boy in front of him, “Oh... I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Felix looked ahead to the perfect first date location again, “I should’ve known after the first ten minutes passed.”
The other’s eyes grew slightly, “How long have you been here?”
“About an hour? I stopped checking.” It was embarrassing to admit, but at this point, nothing a stranger could say to him would be more embarrassing than the fact that he actually waited that long for someone who was clearly never going to arrive. Or at least that’s what he thought, because once he heard the man sigh and saw him stand up in the corner of his eye, he felt like his soul was crushed slightly. He thought Felix was an idiot too, and now he was going to leave him there to deal with it alone. It’s not like he expected him to stay, but he didn’t expect him to leave so soon, either. He watched him step forward, he didn’t know why it stung, but he couldn’t bear to see him walk away, beginning to lower his head into his arms to try cushion the blow.
“Come on.”
Felix lifted his head once more to find the man stood with a small smile curved across his lips.
“W-what..?” Felix questioned, brows furrowed.
The stranger turned to fully face Felix, “I’m not gonna leave you on the floor like this. It’s cold, and you’re probably hungry, so...”
Felix’s eyes widened, his jaw opened slightly, but no words came out.
The man smiled, letting out a small giggle before offering a hand to help Felix up, “Come on.”
Felix took the hand, letting himself be pulled up, “But, I don’t even know you...” Clearly, he didn’t care about that considering he still held onto the other’s hand as he led them towards the road.
“Hi, I’m Chris.” He stated simply with a smile as they walked to the doors of the restaurant.
Their hands finally unclasped once they made it to the entrance, Chris letting Felix enter first before following him to the host stand where a waitress was ready to greet them. Felix let out a relieved sigh once the warmth hit him, his frozen limbs finally thawing in the comforting heat.
“Hello, welcome to Haven! How can I help you?” She chimed cheerfully.
Felix took the lead, “Hi! Could we get a table for two, please?”
“For two...” she echoed as she scanned the diary in front of her before replying, “Of course! There’s just a short wait time while we get it prepared, could I get a name for the table?”
“Felix Lee.” He returned.
The waitress took a note then gestured to them to stand to the side for a moment until their table was ready.
Whilst they stood there with the golden hue of the dim overhead lights making the giddiness Felix was originally feeling return, he couldn’t help but sense eyes burning into him. He didn’t turn his head much, just enough to catch Chris quickly averting his gaze to anywhere but Felix’s face. He would be lying if he said he didn’t find it kinda cute, catching a glimpse of the red blush taking over his ears before lowering his head back down to try conceal the small lift at the corners of his lips. It didn’t take long before a waiter came out to guide them to their table, sat smartly in the middle of the room with a candle lit in the centre awaiting their arrival. The menus were placed down in front of them as they shook off their coats, before the waiter asked if they would like any drinks to get them started. Felix requested the house red, whilst Chris went for a simple water, then they were left alone again.
Of course it was awkward, God, how could it not be? In comparison to who Felix was originally meant to be here with, he knew absolutely nothing about Chris. And Chris knew absolutely nothing about him. So now it was a waiting game of who was going to break the silence that flowed semi-uncomfortably between them as they flicked through their menus.
Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours, so the two minutes that did pass felt like near torture until Felix heard Chris hum across from him. That was all he needed.
“Can’t decide what to get?” Felix asked, although, it was more of a statement than a question. The way his face twisted, conflicted, and his eyes darted back and forth told him enough.
Chris huffed out another undecided hum, crossing his arms in front of him on the table, “Hmm... The pasta sounds good... But so does the steak,” He looked up to meet Felix’s eyes for the first time since they walked through the door, “What are you getting?”
The softness of his gaze made Felix feel... strange... Good strange! But still, strange. Regardless, he pushed that feeling to the side and calmly replied, “I was thinking about getting the steak.” He slowly closed over his menu, and continued, “But the pasta is good too.”
Chris playfully rolled his eyes, “Well that doesn’t help me.” He joked, eyes shrinking into crescent moons as he smiled at the other.
Felix giggled back, “My bad. Just get the steak, you can always try the pasta if you ever come back here.”
“Ah~ true... Okay, steak it is.” He announced, closing his menu too.
A waiter was quickly at their service, taking their order of two steaks, medium-rare, a convenient match in taste that they both giggled about once he left to tell the kitchen. It was clear that the odd tension had finally subsided, and now, rather than waiting for their food in awkward silence, they were talking about whatever they could think of, mostly general stuff like age, where they grew up, things they enjoyed, and truthfully, the sips of wine throughout the exchange made this much easier on Felix. He was typically quite extroverted, but that was for quick encounters. This was something entirely new for him, but he also doubted Chris had ever done this before either, so it was nice to know he wasn’t alone.
“So, Felix,” Chris started, a new topic clearly coming into play.
“Christopher.”
“You can tell me to be quiet if you want, but, this person you were meant to meet...”
“Oh, God.” Felix replied, rolling his eyes, but the smile on his face showed no offence.
“Hey, you can tell me to shut up!” Chris reiterated, holding his hands up in surrender.
Felix laughed, “No, it’s fine. I was sure it would come up eventually. Go on.” He leaned forward, resting his weight on his elbows.
“How long had you been talking to each other?” He tilted his head to the side slightly, his expression soft and curious. He almost looked like a sweet puppy, “I’m just trying to understand the situation better, sorry.”
“It’s okay, I get it. About three weeks, I think.” Felix revealed.
Chris’ expression shifted to something closer to disbelief before he spoke, “And he ghosted you on what I assume is the first date?”
Felix let out a defeated sigh, “Yeah~ He said he was gonna be about five minutes late, then he stopped replying, so...”
“Why did you keep waiting? Especially for another hour in this weather?”
He pouted slightly, honestly questioning himself for that decision, “I don't know. I was hopeful, I guess.” he shrugged, “But he was so nice, you know, before this... I don’t know what changed.”
It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Felix was prone to falling fast and getting his hopes up too high. Who was he to assume that their affection had a time limit. He had accepted that maybe he was just naive, but still, he held on to the small possibility that someday someone would truly love him. Claim him as theirs rather than temporarily nourishing his heart so they could feed off of his attention, only to leave him hanging because they suddenly decide they aren't ready to commit to anything.
Chris’ eyes wandered for a second, trying to find his words, “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you waited.”
Felix flashed him a puzzled expression, clearly confused by the slight contradiction.
“No, not like that,” Chris laughed, realising his mistake in word choice, “I mean, I’m glad I found you? Wait, no. Like, I’m not glad you stayed in the cold for that long, but like, I’m glad that meant I was able to... meet you..? I like you- Wait, not like-” Felix watched whilst Chris tried to dig himself out of a fairly shallow hole, only to put himself in another one, the smile growing on his face as he rambled on. It was endearing. Chris stopped himself, taking a deep breath to reset, and slowly let each word come out as carefully as possible, “I just mean, I’ve enjoyed this so far.”
The younger let a small giggle escape through his nose, “I’m enjoying it too, Chris.” He took another sip from his wine, “And, for what it’s worth, I’m glad I waited too.” He could see the relief wash over Chris’ whole body as his muscles relaxed, tensed up from his over explaining, a grateful smile slipping onto his lips. And before they knew it, a waiter was standing beside the table, placing warm plates of fragrant meat in front of them.
Felix began eating, glancing across the table as Chris took his first bite. He couldn’t help but giggle when his brow furrowed, letting out a delighted sound whilst his fists danced on either side of the plate.
“Good?” He verified, to which the other could only hum and nod in response.
About half way into their meal, Chris noticed Felix continuing to glance at his phone which sat face up next to him.
“Felix.” His tone sounded almost like he was accusing him of something, which, technically, he was.
Felix’s head whipped up, eyes wide like he was caught doing something he shouldn't, which could also, technically, be true. Then he noticed the knowing look on Chris’ face, a guilty sigh leaving his lungs before he spoke, “I know, I’m sorry, It’s just-”
“Nope,” Chris cut him off, “Give it.” He held out a hand.
Felix narrowed his eyes. Was he really about to have his phone confiscated..?
Chris huffed out a breath reminiscent of a laugh, “I’m not gonna take it, I promise. Just unlock it first.”
Felix hesitated, but still, he slowly lifted it off the table, unlocked it, and handed it to the other. He was too trusting for his own good, after all. Chris took the phone and began tapping away. Felix’s eyes were fixed on him, wondering what he could possibly be doing, and why he let a man he just met have access to it in the first place. It didn’t take long before Chris was handing back to him.
“There you go.” He stated simply with a smile, and got back to eating.
Felix placed it back on the table, face down this time, still wondering what he had done, “What did...”
“You don’t have to worry about checking for a reply now.”
The ominous reply made his face drop slightly, “Did you say something..?” The thought almost made his gut twist, although he wasn’t entirely against the idea of a telling off. Anything he could’ve said, even with his limited knowledge on the situation, was probably deserved.
Chris lifted his head, a small sense of fear on his face at the incorrect, yet justified, assumption, “Oh my god, no! Sorry, I just blocked him for you. He already wasted so much of your time, he shouldn’t get to waste more...” His voice got smaller as he explained, the guilt slipping through in each word, “It wasn’t really my place but-”
“It’s okay.” Felix reassured, “Thank you.” Even if it wasn’t Chris’ place to do that, Felix knew he probably wouldn’t have been able to do it himself, not really the type to completely cut people off even if they hurt him, so he was grateful. A few beats passed before he spoke again, a realisation hitting him, “Wait, it doesn’t take that long to just block someone though?”
Chris looked up through dark bangs, “Honestly, I just couldn’t figure out how to do it... I don’t use Samsung so...” He admitted bashfully, pulling his iPhone out of his pocket and wiggling it in the air.
The younger chuckled.
“Oh, and I was also putting my number in your contacts. I hope that’s okay.” He fed the final cut of steak into his mouth.
Felix couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from curling up. At first, the idea of having dinner with a total stranger was kind of odd to him, but now, knowing he wanted it to carry on after this made his soul light up, that familiar fuzzy feeling growing in his chest. “Yeah, that’s okay.”
They finished their meals, and the waiters cleared the table. They debated dessert for a moment when asked, and in the end decided to share a fudge brownie with ice cream since the main had already filled them a decent amount. They continued to talk and laugh about anything and everything whilst they reached their spoons into the centre of the table, slowly decreasing the amount of warm chocolate and cold vanilla on the small plate until they finally reached the final bite. It was a battle of who would give in first in the back and forth exchange of repeated ‘no, you have it’s. In the end, Felix knew it was a losing game, but he wasn’t going to let himself be the one to accept defeat, instead he pushed the plate towards Chris with a smug grin and saw himself to the bathroom, leaving the other with no choice but to sigh and indulge in the final bite as he watched him walk away.
Felix stood in the bathroom, massaging soap onto his hands at the basin. He looked up at his reflection and gave himself a small delighted smile. It wasn’t the date he had planned on, it wasn’t even a date at all, at least not officially, but this less than simple act of kindness was probably better than any proper date he could have attended tonight. He turned to the hand dryer, letting the strong air force the water away from small palms, then turned back to the mirror once more to fix the long blond strands of hair that framed his face. When he approached the now cleared off table, Chris was stood waiting with Felix’s coat in his hands, holding it out ready for him to put it on. Felix smiled, shaking his head, charmed by the gesture, before rotating once he reached him and slipping his arms into the holes. He turned back around to Chris who had a smirk on his face that forced a dimple to sink into his cheek.
“Should we go then?” He asked, sweetly.
Felix furrowed his brow, “We have to pay the bill first.”
“I already did.” Chris stated simply, like it was a given.
Felix left a playful slap on his arm, his eyes growing wide, “I would’ve split it!”
Chris giggled at the theatrics, “It was the least I could do.” He shrugged.
Felix sighed, digging his tongue into his cheek in faux annoyance, “You shouldn’t have,” he made a futile attempt to suppress his smile, “but thank you.”
They made their way back to the entrance, thanking the waitress who stood at the podium as they left, and they were back in the cold of the night.
“Shit.” Felix cursed under his breath as he stared down at his blank phone screen. He knew he should’ve put it on charge earlier, but he expected it to last, and it would have if the night had gone to plan.
Chris looked over, noticing the dark void in the other’s hand, “Is it dead?”
Felix sighed out a white cloud, slipping the phone back into his pocket, “Yeah.”
“Do you not have a way home?”
“No...” He turned to Chris, “It’s too far to walk, especially in this weather.” A slight pout formed on his lips.
Chris hummed, trying to think of a solution, “I can order you an Uber-”
“Nope, you’re not spending more money on me.” He would’ve accepted, but he figured that Chris wasn’t the type of person that would let you pay him back for a good deed, and he already knew their meal wasn’t exactly cheap.
Chris rolled his eyes, letting them wander after as he tried to find another idea. Felix chewed on his lip, trying his best to figure out how to get home without freezing, and without costing Chris more money, but his thoughts were cut off.
“You could...” Chris started.
Felix glanced up, “Hm?”
“Come back to my place?” His voice had a layer of hesitation, like he was scared to overstep or make Felix uncomfortable, “It’s not far from here, y'know?” He explained, “You can charge your phone and we can just hang for a bit, then you can book an Uber home from there.”
Felix toyed with the idea for a moment, wondering if going home with someone he only met a couple hours ago would be the best decision, but realistically, he had no other choice, “Okay.” He agreed.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah... Just promise you won’t kill me.”
Chris let out a small chuckle, “I promise. Just ignore the assortment of knives and tools perfectly laid out on the counter.” He passed the test.
[Rule one of going home with a stranger: Only trust them if they suggest they will kill you if you bring up the possibility. A real killer wouldn't do that.]
And so, they began walking.
Chris wasn't lying when he said his place wasn't far, the journey only taking around five minutes. Whilst they made the short trip, they talked about nothing important, Felix asking where Chris was going before he found him on the street, and Chris stating he just randomly felt like taking a walk, "It's lucky I did, huh?" They giggled together as they reached the main door of the building.
Felix glanced around as they entered Chris' apartment. It was so clean, minimalistic, and had the faint smell of spiced vanilla in the air. It honestly fit him perfectly.
"You can make yourself comfortable, I'll go put your phone on charge in my room." The older kindly stated once he kicked his shoes off and hung his jacket up. Felix thanked him with a smile, handing the device over before the other glided through the home. Felix hung his coat next to Chris', awkwardly swaying on his feet for a moment before deciding to take himself to the sofa, instantly sinking into the soft cushions. Chris came back out of the purple lit bedroom shortly after, letting a small laugh escape when he saw the way Felix has curled himself up in his seat.
"What?" he questioned exaggeratedly, "You said make yourself comfortable."
Chris grinned, shaking his head as he made his way over and sat down next to him, "I did." He reached to the side, grabbing the TV remote, "Do you wanna watch a movie or something?"
Felix agreed, humming and letting out small sounds of disagreement as they went through the options, before finally landing on one they were both interested in. Then they sat there comfortably in each others presence staring at the screen, occasionally sharing opinions on the scenes taking place. Eventually, they both fell silent, completely sucked into the plot.
Chris glanced over for a moment, noticing Felix’s eyes starting to droop as tiredness began to creep up on him.
He placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly to try pull him back, “Hey, you tired?”
Felix blinked, forcing his eyes fully open, “Yeah, kinda…” He wasn’t sure why he was so tired, he was fine before. There was probably some strange psychological reason for it, but since they sat down, it felt like his entire system had went completely calm.
Chris’ smile was barely noticeable, but it was there. He let his hand glide across Felix’s jeans before letting it rest on his own, “You can stay the night if you want.” He suggested, that careful kindness draped across his words, “Saves you risking falling asleep on your way home.” He added, shoulders bobbing as an airy giggle punctuated the sentence.
Felix looked at him, eyes as big as they could possibly be with the fatigue setting in, “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude…”
“Of course!” Chris confirmed with a smile, “You can take my bed, I’ll stay on the sofa. It’s no problem.”
Felix wondered if the man next to him was sent directly from heaven. Honestly, the bar was in hell, he knew it was the bare minimum, but it wasn’t often you would find someone so sweet and respectful, especially not by accident. Chris was the type of person you would have to spend forever searching for, and if you thought you found him, you’d have to pray that the kindness would last. However, this seemed to be a rare case where hoping wasn’t necessary. From the start, there was no confirmation that whatever this was would continue, and yet, Chris remained practically perfect. The type of perfect that has you expecting something to happen that will ruin the illusion. But, in this rare case, it actually felt like he was genuinely all good.
“Thank you.” His voice came out small, soft, but still managed to express his gratitude.
“No worries, honestly.” Chris chimed back, before sighing as he pushed himself up, “Come on, I’ll grab you something to change into.” He offered a hand, helping Felix up and leading him to his bedroom.
Felix sat on the edge of the soft mattress as he watched Chris pick out clothes from his closet, humming as he flicked through the options. His eyes scanned the room, examining each detail, from the lights and posters that hung perfectly on the walls, to the clean desk setup that sat across from the bed, peaking his interest.
He picked himself up, walking over to get a better look, “Do you game?” He asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard.
Chris continued going through drawers as he responded, “Yeah, sometimes.”
“What do you play?”
He froze momentarily, letting out shy giggles, “It’s embarrassing…”
Felix swayed back over to his original place, sitting back down, “No it’s not, tell me!”
Chris turned with a stack of clothes in his hands, placing them down next to the small boy, then sighed, “Genshin…” He looked up at Felix with an expression that could only read as Go on, make fun of me, but that wasn’t in Felix's nature.
Instead, he smirked slightly, “I’ve wanted to play that for a while, actually. Teach me?” Chris looked back at him, eyes lighting up, “I’ll build you a custom keyboard in return.” Felix held his hand out.
Chris struggled to hold back his pure joy at the request, taking the small hand presented to him and shaking it, “Okay, deal.” He quickly redirected the attention to the pile of clothes neatly folded on the bed, separating his own from the ones he picked for Felix, “Shirt. Sweats. They’re a bit small on me, so hopefully they won’t be too big.” He placed them in the other’s lap, “I’m gonna get changed in the bathroom, you can leave your clothes wherever. If you need anything, just let me know, yeah?” He made his way to the door, leaning on the frame whilst he waited for Felix to answer. After a simple “Okay, thanks.” paired with a smile, he turned, closing the door behind him.
Once the latch clicked, Felix began pulling his clothes off, sighing as his skin was finally able to breathe again after being trapped under the tight, thick fabric of his turtleneck. He pulled the new shirt over his head, noticing the faint smell of florals as the fabric passed his nose. He shook off his jeans, stretching his legs momentarily before replacing rough denim with the soft, grey sweatpants Chris had chosen for him. Although he said they were small on him, Felix still had to tug on the strings, securing them around his waist to make sure they actually stayed on his body. He couldn’t help but giggle when he saw how the material almost swallowed him whole in his reflection. He thought maybe the barely noticeable difference in their heights had caused Chris to underestimate just how small Felix was compared to his built figure. Felix turned back to his own items left discarded on the floor, picking them up to fold and leave tidily stacked on the chair. He made his way to the door, opening it to find Chris sat on the sofa scrolling on his phone, completely sucked into whatever he was watching.
“Goodnight, Chris.” He said, gentle like he didn’t want to disturb him.
Chris’ attention was quickly pulled to the voice, his face softening as he looked back at the boy stood quietly in the doorway, “Goodnight, Felix. Sleep well.”
Felix returned the sentiment, closed the door, and made his way back to the bed, scooting himself underneath the covers, and clicked the bedside lamp off.
He lay there, eyes closed, trying to drift away for what felt like forever. After about twenty minutes, he ended up kicking off the sweatpants, thinking that maybe lowering his quickly increasing temperature would help, but again, he closed his eyes and was unable to come close to sleep. Another ten minutes passed, and Felix grew tired of, well, his lack of tiredness. How could he be battling sleep on the sofa, but now when given the chance to finally rest, it was seeming impossible. He sat up, sighing with his head in his hands, then decided to do something that could either fix his problem, or make it significantly worse.
He stood at the door, hand hovering over the handle, wondering whether this was the best idea he could’ve had. Realistically, none of the choices he made tonight were exactly the smartest, so this would probably be at the bottom on his list of stupid things he could do. He took a breath, letting the handle turn as he exhaled, and pulled the door open. He only took a couple steps, but in the stillness of the night, the sound of small feet padding across the wooden floor boomed. If Chris was asleep, the last thing he wanted was to wake him up by sounding like a baby elephant. An unrealistic yet very real fear.
His voice came out quiet, “Chris?” He stood for a moment, praying that his voice was able to reach him, but honestly, he couldn’t really tell how well he projected it through the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. Chris didn’t move, at least not in response to Felix’s voice. After a couple seconds passed, with Felix chewing on his lip as each one ticked by, he noticed Chris’ head bobbing side to side almost rhythmically. Felix took a few more steps, getting a closer look in the light of the TV screen.
Headphones. Noise cancelling headphones. Felix let out a sigh of relief. At least now he knew he was awake.
He made his way closer, until he was stood directly behind him. He slowly reached his hand down, aiming directly for the button on the side to turn the noise cancelling off. Chris’ body jolted slightly as the headphones chimed, announcing the mode change. He scanned around for a moment before craning his head back to see Felix looking down at him with a smile. He sighed out, holding a hand to his chest before he spoke, “God, you scared me,” he stated, words bouncing as he laughed off the disturbance, “is everything okay?” His hand lifted to pull the headphones off.
Felix let out a breathy giggle, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” part of him did, but that didn’t matter, “I can’t sleep.” He admitted.
Chris shifted, beginning to sit himself up, but his eyes paused for a moment when they caught bare thighs peaking out from under the perfectly oversized shirt, “Oh...” He lifted his gaze, “How come?”
Felix shrugged, his lips forming into a small pout, “I don’t know, but...” He hesitated.
“Hm?” Chris hummed, curious.
Felix swayed on his feet, “Would you... come sleep with me?” Once the question left his mouth, he rushed to correct his wording, realising how it sounded, “Sleep in bed, I mean! With... me...” This was terrible, not that he was totally against what the statement could suggest, he did find Chris quite… but that wasn't his current intention, “I was tired when I was sat with you so I thought, y'know, maybe it could help.” It was an innocent request, really, Felix just had trouble with words, especially when he was around pretty men.
Chris looked up at him, eyes soft, “Yeah, okay.” He reached next to him for the remote, the TV screen turning black.
Felix contained a smile, turning and making his way back to the room, hearing Chris trailing close behind. The door clicked shut and they both slid under the covers, a respectable distance left between them. But somehow, this is the closest they had felt all night. Not when they were sat face to face with their feet lightly colliding under the table. Not when they were sat side by side with Felix near enough to rest his head on Chris' shoulder if he gained the confidence to do so. Not when they held hands across the street, or when Chris' arm sat in the delicate curve of Felix's back to guide him into the apartment complex. No. Now felt closer than ever, and that might've been what caused something to alter in Felix's system. He thought this would help. That he would be peacefully drifting away into a land where he could dream about future possibilities until the sun forced him back into reality, but as the seconds ticked by, he grew more restless than before. Something gnawed at him, like he had to say something but he didn't know what. Still, he tried, back still facing the others.
His voice came out quiet, "Hey, Chris?" He hated how loud everything seemed in the dead of the night. Chris hummed back in response. The sound of sheets rustling took over the room as Felix shifted until he was facing broad shoulders, "Thank you for tonight," He started, voice small but sincere, "I really appreciate it."
A small lamp in front of Chris flicked on, the inoffensive warm glow giving just enough exposure for their faces to be visible before he turned over. The positioning once he rotated to face the younger caused their legs to rest next to each other, the gap noticeably smaller now, leaving them close enough to feel the feather light touch, but neither pulled away.
His eyes met Felix's with a kind glimmer, “You're welcome. I enjoyed it."
The corners of Felix's mouth curled up slightly, "Me too."
Chris lifted a hand to Felix’s face, gently pushing the stray strands of blonde hair away from his eyes, letting his palm flatten against his head as he tucked them into place, "Plus, it would've been cruel to just leave you there." Felix’s heart jumped behind his ribs when he felt the soft brush of his thumb against his jaw as his hand made its way back to its original place.
“But..” he started, “I would like to take you out again on purpose sometime.” He humbly suggested, his confidence, although still slightly hidden behind a thin veil of shyness, now appearing clearer than earlier in the night .
A small, fast breath escaped Felix's nose before he spoke, “I'd like that." He couldn't stop the grin from forming, or his eyes from glancing down at Chris' lips as his own smile progressed, a dimple embedded clear on either side. Cute. It was in that moment that something began tugging at his subconscious. The tension bubbling under his skin silently telling him to move. His head shifted forward slightly, only enough where he could play it off as getting comfortable. He could turn back. Stop himself before it was too late to cancel the impulsive command. But he moved again. This time it was hesitation. The feeling finally made its way to the forefront of his mind. He spent less than a second considering if this would be the new top spot on his list of bad ideas before he committed, pushing forward to leave a small kiss on plush lips.
At least now he knew one thing. They were as soft as they looked.
Chris retreated back slightly, surprised. But no more than two seconds of processing later, they reconnected. It was gentle, slow like they were giving everything they left unsaid time to transfer into the others mind, their bodies slowly growing closer as Chris’ hand came up to rest on Felix’s jaw. It was sweet, really. How Felix could feel the curve of the others smile against his lips as they pressed together. How he could smell the scent of mint toothpaste that still lingered in his breath. How his thumb caressed the side of his cheek so gently. Sweet. That was until Felix felt firm muscle press against his crotch as their bodies continued moving impossibly closer, the minor friction causing a small sound to catch in his throat. He felt Chris smile again before pulling away just enough to talk.
“This okay?” He asked, voice low like he didn’t want to disturb the small amount of air between them.
Felix weakly nodded, letting an airy hum of confirmation out before Chris proceeded forward again. He slowly pressed his thigh against him harder this time, with intention, and Felix gave him just the reaction he wanted, his lips parting around a shallow gasp and giving Chris an opening. He licked into his mouth, kissing deeper whilst Felix swayed his hips forward to chase the feeling. Chris’ fingertips pressed into the back of his neck as their tongues danced in perfect harmony and they fell deeper into each other, Felix’s hips moving in sync with the slow rhythm. He needed more. He needed everything Chris was willing to give him. He carefully lifted himself up, Chris following his movements so they didn’t disconnect once until Felix was on top of him, his hands sliding down his body and across his thighs, until they slid back up under the loose shirt and rested on the soft skin of his waist. Felix rolled his hips, grinding down onto Chris’ half hard cock. It only made him more eager when it was revealed that Chris wasn’t the quiet type, heavy breathing turning into shared whimpers as Felix continued. He began to lazily paw at Chris’ shirt, and he understood, pushing himself upright and pulling the fabric over his head, tossing it to the floor before reconnecting their lips again. His hands reached under Felix’s shirt again, slowly hiking it higher and higher until Felix’s arms came up above his head allowing it to be taken off, discarded to the ground along with the other.
Chris scanned Felix body, admiring, “God, you’re beautiful.” He stated like a fact, leaving a tender kiss on the others lips, then started making his way down. He started at his jaw, then the length of his neck, stopping in his tracks when he heard the hitch of breath once he reached the curve just above his collar bone. He stayed there, leaving light pecks, testing the waters as he dragged his tongue across the area before going back down with parted lips and sucking slightly. Not enough to mark. At least not yet.
“Can I?” He breathed into his skin.
Felix only hummed in response.
Chris turned further into the curve of his neck, letting his voice vibrate through his veins, “I need words, little one.”
Felix’s cock twitched at the name, an exhale shaking out of him, “Yes. Please.” He felt the smirk form on Chris’ face.
“Very good.” He cooed, placing a kiss on his throat before he turned back to that sensitive spot.
He started light, savouring the small sounds Felix made when he grazed his teeth against the tender skin. Then he began sucking harder. Hungry. Pulling the blood to the surface. Marking him. Claiming him as his own. Felix’s fingers threaded into the back of Chris’ hair, each digit flexing in the dark strands whilst Chris continued leaving deep bruises along the column of his neck. He made his way to the other side, pleased with how that same curve was just as sensitive as the other, leaving another mark to match. As his mouth continued to work, he hooked an arm around the younger, rotating them with ease as if Felix was as light as a feather, gently placing him down on the mattress and leaving him with his legs wide around his hips. He finally pulled away, admiring his work for a moment in the warm hue of the bedside lamp. “You’re all mine now.” He smirked. Something deep within Felix snapped. Maybe his desire to be claimed ran deeper than he thought. He looked up at Chris with pupils blown wide, pulling their lips together before letting the words leak out against them.
"Then fuck me like I'm yours."
He might've been an extrovert, but he was never usually so upfront, the words almost feeling alien coming out of his mouth, but he didn't care enough to think about it. He had never wanted something so bad. Typically he would wait, not one to fuck on the first date, but there was something about Chris. He didn't know what, but he wanted to know every part of him. Become familiar with every single inch of his being.
Chris cursed under his breath. How could he possibly say no to those big, pleading eyes. It's not like he ever planned on it. He was willing to give Felix anything and everything he wanted. He wasted no time reaching into the small drawer next to the bed and grabbing the bottle of lube, tossing it further down the bed before he pushed his lips into the others, more passionate than before. He made his way down, leaving a trail of delicate, shallow kisses down the centre of his neck, his chest, his stomach. Felix's breath hitched once he hit the skin just above his waistband. Chris' eyes were dark, filled with a dangerous desire as he watched Felix's reactions through his lashes. He hooked his arms under his legs, hands grasping at soft flesh as he continued to mouth at the insides of his thighs, making his way closer to the seam of his underwear just to hear the airy gasps and whimpers Felix let out before retreating further back. He revelled in the way Felix's stomach would tense and his hips twitched every time he found a particularly sensitive area, sinking his teeth into the supple flesh. He hooked his fingers under his waistband, watching the slow, uneven rise and fall of Felix's ribcage.
"Can I?" Punctuated with another slow kiss on his thigh.
Felix looked down, swallowing hard. Truthfully, he could've came on the spot with the way Chris was looking at him like he wanted to eat him whole, "Please." He breathed out.
Chris began to pull with excruciating slowness, admiring the way Felix's brow furrowed and his head dropped back onto the pillow below him in response to the friction of tight fabric dragging along his cock. He lightly patted the side of his ass, signalling him to lift his hips so they could be fully removed. He was so gentle with Felix, carefully pushing his knees back and guiding the fabric off before placing his feet back down on the mattress. Felix didn't know what Chris was planning, honestly expecting him to suck his dick as he felt his mouth pressing up the length of his thigh again. What he never expected was to feel Chris' hands on his ass, pulling him apart. He didn't even have time to process once he felt the warm drag of Chris' tongue against his hole. His back arched off the bed, jaw stretching around a gasp. He'd never been eaten out before, but god, Chris was good. His mouth worked around the opening, tongue pressing in and forcing strained sounds out of Felix. He doesn't know when he held his breath, he figured his mind had become so blurred he forgot to exhale. Chris, observant, noticed the silence, taking advantage of the moment of bliss to grab the forgotten bottle, squeezing the thick liquid onto his fingers and pressing one in before Felix could notice the drying saliva turn cold.
The velvet smooth voice flowed into Felix's ears, "Don't go quiet on me now." He bent his finger just right and suddenly Felix felt like he had all of the air he was holding knocked out of him. His eyes shot open as a high pitched gasp ripped through him. Chris repositioned his body so he was looking down at the other again, watching his expression change as his hand moved. Felix's whimpers bounced off the walls as Chris continued to aim for that sweet spot. "That's more like it."
Felix was growing desperate, his fingers tensing in the sheets below him, "Haah- Fuck, please." He begged.
"Please, what, sweetheart." Chris taunted. He knew exactly what he wanted, he just wanted to hear it.
"Hmm- more," Felix gasped out, "Please, more."
Chris leaned down, pressing their mouths together. It was messy, wet, all tongue and teeth. He eased a second finger in, and he savoured the taste of every whine and moan that made its way into his mouth. He moved faster, and Felix grew louder. He sounded almost pornographic, and Chris relished every sound. Felix clamped his thighs against the others hips, trying, and failing, to close the gap as a third was pushed in. His hands rummaged for somewhere to land, finding their place on Chris' biceps. His knuckles blanched, fingers pressing into thick muscle and eyes falling shut as he continued to gasp and moan at the sensation of the others fucking him open. Chris' smile was menacing, watching the way the angelic face below him contorted into something beautifully sinful, brows rising and knitting together in an uneven rhythm as he altered the pressure on his prostate in intervals. His jaw flexed and unhinged around the sweet melody flowing out of him as his head rolled back, pressing down into the plush pillows. He almost felt a sense of regret when he decided to stop, removing his fingers and depriving himself of the image of perfection only he could see. A defeated noise punched out of the younger as he looked up with needy eyes. He was honestly endeared by the almost sad doe like eyes staring up at him, smiling as he left a sweet kiss on his lips as an apology for leaving him empty. He moved off the bed, pulling his shorts and underwear off. Felix sat up on his elbows and watched but was left in awe when Chris' cock sprung free. If he was still able to walk after this, it would truly be a miracle. He swallowed as Chris made his way back onto the bed, tracking his every move as he picked up the bottle of lube and smoothed the liquid across his length.
He positioned himself between Felix's legs again, "Ready?" He questioned, noticing a certain look in Felix's eyes that he couldn't fully place.
Felix's voice came out quite, but certain, "Yes."
Chris slowly pushed forward, and Felix collapsed down onto the mattress, gasping and whining as he sank further in. Chris dropped his head, a low moan pushing through his teeth as he watched each inch disappear into the tight hole. He gave Felix a moment to adjust before he pulled back and carefully slid back in, repeating, finding a steady rhythm. Felix's jaw fell open, low whimpers pouring out with each drag of Chris' cock. His head was swimming feeling the way he filled him up so perfectly, each glide against his prostate making the heat begin to coil low in his stomach at an alarming rate.
He brought his hands up to Chris' waist, forcing words out between sounds of pure desperation, "Aah~ Haah- F-faster."
Chris looked deep into his eyes, "Are you sure? Mm~ Don't want you getting hurt, do we?"
Felix didn't care, he just wanted, "Hmm~ Please- please, need it, aha- please." He babbled on just hoping, begging, Chris would give him what he wanted.
Chris pulled back again, grabbing onto Felix's hips before slamming forward, increasing his pace with each thrust. Felix's back raised off of the bed, nail digging crescent moons into Chris' sides. His eyes rolled back as auditory filth filled the room, his moans bouncing off every wall. Chris watched, a wicked smile forming on his face as he thought of his next move. He fed his hands under Felix's legs, lifting them on to his shoulders and leaned forward, almost bending him perfectly in half. The new angle made Chris hit Felix's prostate directly, attacking it head on and driving Felix insane.
"Oh f-fuck! Aah- yes!" Felix exclaimed, the knot in his stomach winding tighter and tighter. He wrapped his arms further around the other, pulling him closer and unintentionally making the aim Chris already had that bit more perfect. He clawed at his back, lines of bright scarlet blooming in his skin as Felix felt himself unravel with each ram of Chris' hips. "Am- hmm-" He tried, but his brain betrayed him, the pleasure coursing through his entire body making it impossible to think properly, "Mm, Chri-s, haa'm cl- aah- close." He finally managed to force out. Chris didn't respond, continuing to abuse his insides with the same brutal force. Felix's breathing grew ragged, his moans getting higher pitched as he drew closer and closer to the edge. He clumsily moved his hands, grabbing onto the others arms, digging his fingers in with enough force to leave bruises as his orgasm crashed over him. He gasped through it, ropes of white painting his stomach. Chris slowed his pace slightly, but he didn't stop.
The realisation hit him once the euphoria subsided, "Wait, Chris, wha-"
He looked down at Felix, eyes dark and dangerous, "What? No one said we were done." He simply stated, breathless.
Before Felix knew it, he was filling out again. Beads of sweat plastered stray strands of hair to his forehead as the pleasure became overwhelming, tears beginning to form in his eyes, "Haah- please, pleasepleasepleas-" He didn't even know what he was begging for, his voice shaking around each useless plea. His arms fell besides his head as his entire body turned pliant, each nerve and muscle taken over by pure ecstasy. Chris intertwined their fingers, and Felix held on the best he could, like he was the only thing that would keep him tethered to the earth. All he could do was let the moans flow out of him, jaw slack, as the tears began to roll down his temples.
Chris' rhythm began to falter, his hips stuttering slightly. He lowered his head, resting it in the curve of Felix's neck, letting breathy moans transfer directly into his bloodstream.
Felix was drawing close again, so close he could almost taste it, and even through the thick haze in his mind, he could tell Chris was too. "Chris." He forced out through a gasp. "Hmm?" He responded. "Please. Want you, haah, to fill me up." He weakly requested, "Hm'm so- close. Please."
"Fuck." Chris sighed out, hearing the way Felix's voice trembled as he begged driving him mad. He sped up for a final time, panting into his neck until, finally, they came together, Chris slowing completely, weakly dragging his hips and giving Felix exactly what he wanted whilst Felix's hands tightened around his as he gasped. Chris stilled, resting his head on Felix's shoulder as they both caught their breath. Felix let out a small shaking sound when Chris pulled out, finally lowering his legs and letting them lay comfortably against the bed, twitching slightly every couple of seconds. He placed a kiss on his forehead, "You okay?" Felix's weakly nodded, looking back through half lidded eyes and trying his best to force a small smile, his body spent and rendered practically useless. Chris' eyes were soft as he let a short breath escape his nose. He figured Felix would rather not be moved around too much in his current state, pulling a pack of wet wipes from his drawer and cleaning him up, before tending to himself. He carefully dressed him and tucked him under the covers, turning the lamp off and climbing in next to him, Felix slowly resting himself in his arms with his head on his chest, listening to the gentle thrum of his heartbeat. Chris left soothing scratched on Felix's scalp as they calmly lay together, "You did so good, little one." He said, quiet. Felix let out a tired hum, quickly succumbing to the effects of the night and Chris rubbing small patterns into his side. Eventually, they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
Felix’s eyes fluttered open once the sun had circled around just enough to peak through the gap in the curtains, leaving a stream of light across his face. To his surprise, he was laying alone in the bed, glancing to the side only to be met with crumpled sheets where a body had silently slid out from beneath them. He stretched out his limbs, forcing the ache from each muscle before he finally pulled himself up. On his way to the door he decided to stop at the mirror, just to make sure he didn’t look a total mess before he left the room, but his eyes were left wide once he saw his reflection. Shades of red and purple strewn across his neck greeted him. He ran his fingers over each one, the skin still tender where each one lay. A slight smirk quirked onto parted lips as he almost admired the marks, fingers hooking into the collar of his shirt and pulling down slightly to get the full view. A pleased sound left his throat before he finally turned to the door, exiting to find Chris stood in the kitchen, humming away as he worked. Chris felt the eyes on him, looking up and smiling sweet as ever once their gazes met.
“Good morning, sunshine.” He chimed.
Felix swayed his way over with a small grin, “Good morning.” He leaned forward against the kitchen counter, arms crossing beneath him, “What are you making?” He extended onto the tips of his toes, curious.
Chris finishing transferring the last of the food from the frying pan onto plates before placing one in front of Felix, “Bacon, eggs, toast.” He happily listed, picking his fork up to begin eating. Felix thanked him before doing the same.
“Did you sleep okay?” Chris asked, voice slightly muffled by the half chewed food shoved in his cheek.
Felix happily hummed, “Yeah. Perfect, actually.”
“I’m glad.”
They neared the end of their meal before Chris spoke again, “So...” his eyes stayed focused on the plate below him, “how’s your neck?” Felix didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking, the way his voice came out low with a sense of humour laced into the words was a big enough give away.
Felix glanced up through his lashes, tongue jamming into his cheek as he tried to push his smile back down. “Fine.” He stated with faux nonchalance.
Chris looked up, meeting the big, brown eyes staring back at him. He paused, “And the rest?” his eyebrows raised whilst Felix’s furrowed, confused.
“The rest?” He tilted his head to the side slightly.
Chris swallowed the last of his food, the cocky grin on his face never dropping. He walked around the counter, holding his hand out, “Come on.” Felix hesitated, eyes squinting slightly as an uncertain smile creeped up on his lips. He took the hand offered to him and let himself be lead back to the bedroom. He stood by the door watching Chris make his way over to the chair at his desk, taking Felix’s stack of clothes and moving them to the bed before wheeling it parallel to the full length mirror. He sat down, lightly patting his thigh, inviting the small, curious man that stood in front of him to sit. He did, of course, turning around and lowering himself into Chris’ lap. Chris’ hands rested on his waist, keeping Felix steady as he brought them closer to the mirror, then hooked his fingers under the hem of the large shirt, pulling it up just above Felix’s hips. Felix watched the reflection, unblinking as Chris fed his feet between his ankles and slowly guided his legs open. His eyes widened slightly, breath catching in his throat.
Chris wrapped his arms fully around Felix’s torso, keeping the shirt out of the way and leaving the scattered smudges of colour on display. He rested his chin on Felix’s shoulder, the sweet look on his face a stark contrast to the beautifully cruel marks he had left in Felix’s skin, “The rest.”
Felix’s eyes went over each one. They were noticeably lighter than the ones that sat clear across his throat, it made sense why his hadn’t noticed them being formed. He met Chris’ eyes in the mirror, “You’re an animal.” He laughed. Chris smiled, giggles pouring out of Felix when he left a soft, playful bite on his shoulder before his head came back up to rest comfortably on it, "I could say the same about you." He returned.
Felix's arm lifted, hand coming up and resting on the others head, "Why's that?" He asked as his fingers played with soft, dark curls.
"My back looks like I was attacked by a big cat." A laugh shook out of him, continuing when Felix brought a paw shaped fist up to his cheek, tilting it forward with a look of false innocence.
"Meow?"
Chris shook his head, smiling as he nuzzled his face into Felix's neck, “I was being serious, by the way.” He slowly closed their legs again.
Felix rested his head against the others, “About what?”
“You’re mine now.” He stated, quiet.
Felix stood for a moment, turning around before sitting again, now facing the other, “Really?” His arms came up, resting on his shoulders.
Chris’ hands landed on his hips, rubbing small circles where his thumbs landed, “If you’re okay with it.”
His cheeks bunched up, “Yeah, I’m okay with it.” He leaned down, leaving a small kiss on Chris’ lips. “Plus,” he started, glancing to the side momentarily, “someone’s gonna have to redo these when they eventually fade.” He looked back with a smug expression painted across his face.
Chris lifted a brow, smirking as he looked down, shifting the bottom of Felix’s shirt slightly, “I think some already are.” The vague suggestion coming out semi-sarcastic.
Felix moved his hand to the sides of Chris’ neck, feeling the blood rushing beneath him, “And what are you gonna do about that?” He quietly teased against his lips. Chris pushed forward with a smile, hands anchoring on Felix’s ass before he pulled them both up, turning towards the bed and kicking the door shut behind them, giggles reverberating in Felix’s throat as they went.
When one of Felix’s dates were running late, or he suspected he was being stood up, he didn’t typically wait around, but something told him this one would be worth it, so he braved the unforgiving cold. He waited. He endured. And he can say with full confidence, that it was absolutely worth it.