Chapter Text
The most important night of Hwang Hyunjin's life was just minutes away from beginning.
Everything was perfect. That morning, he had his favorite coffee at his favorite coffee shop. In the afternoon, he meditated to calm his nerves and spent time with the cast and crew of Winter Bloom , the film he starred in that had been nominated in almost every possible category at the prestigious Baeksang Arts Awards.
But honestly, Hyunjin could only think of one category in particular: Best Actor.
And nothing in the world could ruin that night. Even if he didn't win, just the nomination would have made him feel fulfilled.
After years in the industry trying to prove his worth and being repeatedly cast in bad boy roles, the guy who saves the damsel in distress, the sexy villain, or any other stereotype of a heterosexual man convinced that the world revolves around his dick, he was finally noticed. A renowned director looked beyond his appearance and recognized his talent.
In Winter Bloom , Hyunjin played Jiwoo, a ballet dancer who dedicated his entire life to the art, only to lose his memory after a tragic accident. It was the kind of poignant drama that made it almost impossible to watch without crying, mainly because Hyunjin completely immersed himself in the role of Jiwoo. He learned ballet from scratch and even broke his foot during filming.
All because he wanted people to see that he was a complete artist. And finally, they did.
He remembered exactly how he felt when he heard his name among the Baeksang nominees. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. There was pride, relief, and the satisfaction of knowing he was competing alongside actors he had admired for years.
And then there was that name. Just thinking about it made Hyunjin roll his eyes.
Actually, there was a big misunderstanding. Let's start over with an important detail that was mistakenly omitted.
Indeed, nothing in this world—or any other—could ruin Hwang Hyunjin's night. Not even if South Korea had to face Brazil in another match.
Except, of course, for a blond man with an impressive height of 171 centimeters.
Lee Felix was also nominated for Best Actor for his performance in A Long Night in Seoul , where he played Clark, a radio host obsessed with finding his brother's killer.
Felix dedicated himself fully to getting that role. For him, winning wasn't a possibility, but an obligation.
He lost ten kilograms, spent countless sleepless nights, and left the set every day convinced he could have done better. At three in the morning, he secretly read every cruel review, even though he knew perfectly well that he shouldn't.
In short, he needed that award. Felix needed to win in order to finally believe that all that suffering had been worth it.
And even though the ceremony was meant to celebrate Korean cinema, everyone's attention was focused on the rivalry between the two actors.
Famous for taking passive-aggressive shots at each other during interviews and turning everything into a competition, they had reached the peak of their hostility. Of course, there were other nominees, but anyone who knew anything about film could tell that Lee Felix and Hwang Hyunjin stood out from the rest.
Everyone knew the award would go to one of them and whichever name was hidden inside that golden envelope would become the winner, not only of Best Actor, but of a rivalry that had lasted seven long years.
It was hard to remember a version of Hyunjin and Felix that didn't exchange barely disguised insults on Twitter. Like the time Hyunjin tweeted that a certain blond actor should invest in better wigs after allegedly going bald because of a disastrous bleach job. Or when Felix, without naming names, posted about a certain actor who had to take extra kissing lessons after traumatizing a co-star so badly she refused to film any more romantic scenes with him.
It was difficult to imagine that these two men had once been inseparable, but their story hadn't begun with hatred. Quite the opposite.
Before the headlines, the passive-aggressive interviews, and the tweets that shaved years off their managers' lives, Hyunjin and Felix had been famous for something entirely different, their chemistry.
They first met as teenagers while filming Stray Kids, a coming of age series that would eventually become a national phenomenon and is still considered the most influential teen drama in Korean television history. From their very first interaction, they became best friends. There was something effortless between them, a natural intimacy that made people think they had known each other since kindergarten and for many years, no one could imagine Hwang Hyunjin without Lee Felix by his side.
Naturally, the internet had been flooded with conspiracy theories created by fans over the years. Some forums claimed that Felix had always been jealous of the attention Hyunjin received during Stray Kids. Others insisted that Hyunjin had secretly fought with every single lead actor behind the scenes. There were even people who genuinely believed the series had ended because Felix sabotaged his rival by pouring red dye into his shampoo, forcing Hyunjin to spend the entirety of season three with hair the color of radioactive waste.
"Hyunjin? Hello? Earth to Hyunjin." His manager snapped his fingers in front of his face as their car finally stopped in front of the theater. "You ready, man?" he asked with a wide grin.
"I think I'm about to shit my pants."
His manager burst out laughing and gave him an encouraging slap on the shoulder.
"Then let's hurry up before anyone notices the stain."
The door of the SUV was opened by a security guard, and the outside world seemed to explode.
Thousands of camera flashes hit Hyunjin all at once, nearly blinding him, accompanied by a deafening chorus of voices screaming his name. Journalists pressed themselves against the barricades, stretching out microphones and begging him to share his expectations for the evening, asking him to look at their cameras, desperate for even a single comment about the impact of Winter Bloom.
His presence felt almost divine and the impeccable blue Versace suit only added to his aura. But in the blink of an eye, the symphony of voices changed. The chants of "Hyunjin!" abruptly stopped, replaced by a collective scream heard in perfect unison. "LEE FELIX!"
Felix appeared at the beginning of the red carpet. He looked almost unreal in an all-white suit, greeting photographers with graceful waves and a relaxed smile, walking with the confidence of someone who seemed convinced this multimillion dollar event had been created solely to serve as the backdrop for his existence.
As he approached the theater steps, Felix lifted his gaze and froze. Only a few meters ahead, Hyunjin was climbing the staircase.
At that exact moment, Felix could have sworn he heard a reporter asking what he would do if Hyunjin won tonight. His jaw tightened so hard his face hurt and he didn't dare look at his rival for too long.
Hyunjin had always been dangerously mesmerizing, a threat to anyone's self-control, but Felix's eyes begged to remain fixed on the dark hair slicked back from his forehead, save for one deliberately messy strand falling rebelliously over those familiar brown eyes.
From the top of the stairs, Hyunjin was trying to convince himself that he wasn't looking for Felix. That the blond no longer affected him, but when he briefly turned around to sign an autograph for an excited fan, his eyes inevitably collided with the man in white. Without realizing it, his lips had parted, looking away was impossible.
The Louis Vuitton suit looked as though it had been tailored directly onto Felix's body, accentuating his waist. His blond hair was perfectly tied back, and combined with that cursed smile, it gave him a sensuality that was impossible to deny or ignore. Felix had never needed to try to impress people, he had never needed to make heads turn or hearts race, he only needed to exist.
Suddenly short of breath and painfully aware of his heartbeat pounding against his ribs, Hyunjin hurried up the remaining steps and escaped into the air-conditioned lobby.
By the time he sat down with Director Do-yoon and the rest of the Winter Bloom cast, a waiter offered him a glass of champagne. Hyunjin accepted without hesitation because he desperately needed to numb his senses.
A few tables away, closer to the stage, Felix sat with the cast and crew of A Long Night in Seoul, who were laughing and chatting loudly as if tonight wasn't unbearably suffocating.
Apparently, he was the only one who felt like the atmosphere weighed as much as lead.
When a waiter offered him champagne, Felix accepted the glass and nearly emptied it in one go, swallowing the bitterness despite deeply hating the taste.
One glass became two, then three, then four. In the end, both Hyunjin and Felix drank far more than they should have. Staying sober with that crushing anxiety felt impossible. Besides, being drunk was the only remotely human way to survive the two hours of endless cliché speeches that seemed determined to never end.
At least for Hyunjin, the torture became slightly more bearable. The Winter Bloom table rose to its feet in cheers and applause four consecutive times. They won Best Director, Best Screenplay, Technical Achievement, and the coveted Popularity Award.
They were practically sweeping the ceremony. Only two categories remained on their list: Film of the Year and, of course, Best Actor.
With every victory, Hyunjin felt a strange mixture of pride and overwhelming pressure twisting his stomach. He smiled for the cameras and toasted with his castmates, but through the haze of champagne, his eyes kept drifting toward the opposite side of the room.
Felix, meanwhile, was sinking deeper into his chair, wishing he could simply disappear and only reappear once his category was finally announced.
The agony was made worse by the fact that Best Actor was A Long Night In Seoul's only nomination.vThe weight on his shoulders was lonely and heavy.
The film had opened strongly at the box office but had been torn apart by critics because of unforgivable plot holes and a controversial ending that infuriated audiences. There was, however, one thing every reviewer, film journalist, and viewer unanimously agreed on.
Lee Felix's performance as Clark had been a masterpiece, everyone knew he had carried the entire film on his back and being his team's only chance at taking home an award was crushing him with every passing second.
"I'm starting to think they used the box office money to buy the awards. The movie wasn't even that good," Felix muttered, crossing his arms like a spoiled child while pretending to pay attention to the host's painfully unfunny jokes.
"I thought you hadn't watched it, but apparently you have some very strong opinions aboutWinter Bloom," the actor who played his brother in the film teased with a knowing smirk.
Caught red-handed, Felix felt his ears burn. Under the tablecloth, he delivered a light, but devastatingly accurate, kick to his co-star's ankle.
"Ow! You horse!" the other man hissed, rubbing his leg beneath the table.
"Next time I'll bite you if you want to see what a horse really looks like," Felix shot back, narrowing his eyes with mock hostility, though he was secretly grateful for the distraction.
Before their argument could continue, dramatic orchestral music echoed through the theater's speakers and the atmosphere in the ballroom shifted instantly. The side conversations ceased, every eye turned toward the stage.
Bathed in golden light and wearing a dazzling smile, Han Jisung stepped up to the microphone. Warm applause erupted throughout the theater. With effortless elegance, he held between his fingers the object that would determine the fate of the evening, the shining golden envelope containing the name of the 2026 Best Actor winner.
Hyunjin immediately jumped to his feet to give his friend a standing ovation and blew him a kiss. From the stage, Jisung laughed and waved back. Several people around them chuckled at the interaction as Hyunjin sat down again, smoothing the front of his suit.
The truth was that Hyunjin—as well as every other nominee in the category—was secretly relieved that Han Jisung had decided to take a sabbatical this year. Hyunjin knew he wouldn't even be able to dream of holding a Baeksang trophy if Jisung had been competing.
His friend's record humiliated every opponent. Last year, Jisung had made history by sweeping every single award category he had been nominated for across every ceremony he attended. It was a feat he had already achieved the year before that as well and would undoubtedly accomplish again, because Han Jisung was an untouchable titan when it came to acting.
Unlike the other boys from Stray Kids, Jisung had never rushed. He hadn't signed three or four projects immediately after the series ended in a desperate attempt to remain relevant. Instead, he disappeared from the spotlight, chose his next role carefully, and when he finally stepped onto another film set, he secured his place in the hall of fame of Korean cinema forever.
"Good evening, everyone! Are we excited?" Jisung greeted the audience of actors, directors, and producers. A loud chorus of "Yes!" answered him. "Wow. Doesn't really sound like it, does it?" he teased, earning relaxed laughter from the audience before his expression shifted into something noticeably more serious.
Jisung adjusted the microphone stand and looked out over the sea of stars before him.
"A few days ago, I read a quote that said, 'The camera can film my face, but until it captures my soul, you don't have a movie.' And that made me think about this year's Best Actor nominees. Every single person in this category put their soul into their performance in the rawest, most vulnerable way possible. Even Ahn Jae-hong's performance in Hi-Five moved me deeply. Though I may be biased. Superhero movies always make me feel nostalgic."
The audience immediately erupted into laughter at the shameless reference to his Stray Kids days. A murmur spread throughout the ballroom, and the live broadcast directors reacted instantly, cutting to alternating shots of Hyunjin and Felix, both desperately trying to maintain painfully awkward smiles.
Ahn Jae-hong, who was nominated for his acclaimed comedy film, joined the joke. He dramatically placed a hand over his heart and bowed exaggeratedly from his seat in mock gratitude.
"What I'm trying to say," Jisung continued after taking a deliberate breath to build even more suspense, "is that acting is about much more than memorizing a script and making it feel real. It's about having the courage to dream. To be seen. And to fail, especially to fail. To fail over and over again and still want to keep going, because actors are athletes. Like any other athlete, we work with our bodies. But beyond that, our real athleticism lies in our souls and every nominee this year proved that creating a performance capable of touching an audience requires running an emotional marathon. And all of you did that beautifully."
The audience applauded, visibly touched by the sincerity behind his words.
Jisung folded his hands behind his back, patiently waiting for the applause to die down before smiling again.
"Without further ado… here are the nominees for the 2026 Baeksang Arts Awards Best Actor category."
As the introduction music began once more, Felix's applause gradually slowed to a stop, he felt like he might explode from the suspense. His heart hammered so violently against his ribs that he was convinced the people at the next table could hear it.
Still, Felix was confident. He knew what he had delivered, he knew how much pain he had ripped out of himself to bring Clark to life. This would be the most important trophy of his career and it would finally make all the hell he endured on set worth it.
The lights in the ballroom dimmed into a soft blue hue, creating a more intimate and mysterious atmosphere as grand scenes from each actor's respective films appeared on the enormous screen to introduce the nominees. The editing was flawless. They had truly selected the best moments from each performance.
Watching so much talent gathered in one room, illuminated by the glow of the projection, made Hyunjin feel the champagne churn in his stomach. He swallowed hard, staring at the screen. If he had been one of the judges, he honestly wouldn't have known who to choose.
When Felix's scene inside the radio booth filled the screen, Hyunjin's eyes immediately locked onto the destructive brilliance of his former best friend.
In the selected scene from A Long Night In Seoul, the camera closed in on Felix's face at the exact moment his brother's murderer called into the station live on air. Clark didn't cry or scream. He showed nothing at all, and yet the audience could see everything he was feeling. His hand tightened around his headphones as though he might crush them in his fingers. His pupils were blown wide, and the rise and fall of his chest made it seem as though Felix was consciously counting every breath and that was precisely what made the scene so terrifying. Without shedding a single tear, Felix perfectly conveyed the moment Clark allowed his grief to become something dangerous. It was a frighteningly brilliant performance.
Then the screen shifted into the poetic melancholy of Winter Bloom, creating a striking contrast between Clark's quiet pain and Jiwoo's desperation.
Onscreen, Hyunjin appeared dressed in his white stage costume. Damp strands of hair clung to his forehead with sweat, and his eyes were red from crying.
In that scene, Jiwoo—the classical dancer unable to recognize his own past—desperately tried to reconstruct his identity through the only language his body still understood: dance. But there was no serene beauty in that performance, only agony. Hyunjin's movements were magnificent, yet imperfect. His long arms sliced through the air. His pirouettes ended off balance, and his jumps culminated in heavy falls against the stage, as though Jiwoo were punishing his own body for failing to remember who he was. Every movement resembled a bird with a broken wing desperately trying to fly again, and the anguish on his face made it impossible to watch without feeling your chest tighten. It was art in its purest form.
A bitter taste climbed up Hyunjin's throat as he watched the two scenes back to back. Looking into the psychological terror in Felix's eyes on the screen sent a sharp pain through his chest and a possibility he hated to acknowledge crossed his mind. The possibility that perhaps Lee Felix truly deserved to take that trophy home.
"And the Baeksang Award for Best Actor goes to..." Jisung opened the envelope and deliberately read the name inside with agonizing slowness, torturing everyone in the room. Then he leaned toward the microphone, visibly excited to announce the winner.
The giant screen split apart, replacing the movie clips with live footage of the nominees' faces. Each actor was trapped inside their own square on the screen, exposed in high definition for the entire world to see. Their expressions strained to maintain heroic composure and polite smiles while awaiting the verdict, but it was a useless façade.
Everyone in the room knew that the real battle of the night was being fought between Hyunjin and Felix. It was inevitable. Fate itself had decided it had to be one of them.
The suspense stretched to its breaking point. Fueled by too much champagne, adrenaline, and blind confidence, Felix's body tensed.
He began to rise from his chair, both palms already pressing against the table to push himself to his feet. He felt like someone emerging from the ocean after surviving a devastating tsunami.
Lee Felix was ready, body and heart, to walk onto that stage and claim the award that rightfully belonged to him.
"Hwang Hyunjin, for Winter Bloom!"
At the sound of that name, Felix felt as though an anchor had been tied around his ankles, and the body that had been floating toward victory was suddenly dragged into the deepest part of the ocean, far too deep to ever glimpse the light above.
Behind him, the Winter Bloom table erupted into deafening cheers, applause, and ecstatic embraces, but to Felix, every sound in the ballroom had been abruptly muted, replaced by a sharp ringing in his ears.
Hyunjin. Once again, Hyunjin. Always Hyunjin.
No matter how hard he tried, that name always seemed to hunt Felix like a starving predator, devouring everything the blond longed for, friendships, recognition, love... For Felix, life was always almost. For Hyunjin, it was always everything.
The blond made a move to stand and leave the ballroom while the applause still continued, but his manager gripped his arm firmly and shot him a warning look.
"Don't you dare, Felix," he whispered, trying not to attract attention. "I won't be able to stop what the media says tomorrow if you walk out now."
Felix scoffed. He didn't care about tabloids. He simply didn't want to sit there pretending to celebrate his rival's victory, but he obeyed. He sat back down and offered a half-hearted applause for his enemy, who was now making his way toward the stage with all his usual charm and effortless confidence.
Onstage, Jisung wrapped his friend in a tight hug before handing Hyunjin the heavy trophy.
Hyunjin stepped up to the microphone and stared down at the award in his hands, looking as though he still hadn't fully processed what was happening.
"Good night. Oh my God... is this real? Holy shit! Wait, I can't swear, can I? Sorry, sorry—no, no..." He laughed nervously. "I should've prepared a speech. Anyway... thank you so much to Winter Bloom's director, Do-yoon. None of this would've been possible if you hadn't given me that opportunity." He paused to catch his breath, realizing he was speaking far too quickly from nerves and probably from all the alcohol. "Thank you to the entire crew, to my friends, and to my family. It was an honor to play Jiwoo and bring not only his tragedy, but also his hope in art to life. I hope the message of this film stays with all of you, and that you can feel exactly what Jiwoo never stopped believing. New beginnings are only possible for those who know how to fail. Thank you very much."
He finished by quoting the most memorable line from his character, and the applause returned even louder than before, but to Hyunjin, it was as though someone had stuffed cotton into his ears. Everything sounded distant and muffled.
As he descended the steps of the stage, his eyes searched for someone who, only minutes earlier, had been sitting directly across from his table, everyone wanted to congratulate the winner of the night.
It took Hyunjin several long and agonizing minutes to escape the endless stream of people stopping him along the way. He cut conversations short with strained smiles and hurried "thank yous."
He didn't know where Felix had gone and he didn't even know why he was looking for him, but it was inevitable. Even after all these years, even with a heart overflowing with resentment, somehow, he still cared. Hyunjin knew exactly how devastating this loss must feel for Felix.
He also knew he shouldn't be doing this, tonight was supposed to be his. After years of being underestimated by the film industry, there was finally no longer any doubt about the weight of his name, and yet his feet stubbornly carried him away from the celebration.
After wandering through the countless service hallways hidden behind the theater, far from the glamour of the ballroom, he finally found him.
Lee Felix was leaning against a gray wall, completely alone, there were no cameras, no reporters, no security guards, only his slumped shoulders and his bowed head.
"Is losing that bitter?" Hyunjin asked as he approached.
Felix rolled his eyes at the sound of his rival's voice.
"Fuck off, Hwang."
"What? You're not even going to congratulate me?"
Felix turned toward him. His eyes were tangled with restrained tears, and a bitter expression shaped his features.
"I thought you promised your friends you'd leave me alone."
Hyunjin would have loved to know how the hell that information had reached him, but he decided not to waste time asking someone who would never give him an answer anyway.
But yes, Hyunjin had indeed promised Christopher, Jisung, and Changbin that he would stop getting involved in problems with Felix. The promise came after the two had run into each other at a bar a few weeks earlier and, luckily, Hyunjin's friends and Felix's friends—Seungmin, Minho, and Jeongin—had stepped in before the situation turned catastrophic. But seeing Felix like this now, Hyunjin had clearly failed to keep his word.
"You really can't be happy for other people, can you?" Hyunjin insisted, crossing his arms. "Come on, you've already won a Golden Globe!"
Felix let out a laugh devoid of any amusement, running a hand over his face as he tried to gather enough strength to endure this. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to break down crying or break Hyunjin's nose.
"The movie I was in won a Golden Globe, not me."
"Same thing. Me winning tonight doesn't change anything about your work."
Felix laughed out loud this time. He had no patience for the pretentious words coming out of Hyunjin's mouth.
"So that's what you want, huh? You want my congratulations, Hyunjin? Is that it?" He strode toward the taller man and jabbed his index finger against his chest. "Congratulations on being an idiot who can't be anything but a pain in the ass. Congratulations on destroying and continuing to destroy my life. Congratulations on always getting everything you want. And congratulations on winning this award! Oh, and congratulations on officially making me wish your existence would be erased from my life!"
"Felix, stop this." Hyunjin's voice came out soft, almost pleading. "You're not this cruel."
But Felix ignored the tone and shoved the taller man hard against the wall, and the excessive amount of champagne in both their systems acted like gasoline poured onto a fire. Neither of them cared about consequences anymore.
"If you touch me again, you'll be showing up in front of those cameras with your face completely broken," Hyunjin growled. He stepped forward and gripped Felix's chin firmly with his fingers, forcing the blond to meet his dark eyes. "You're a spoiled idiot who, honestly, has one of the most mediocre performances I've ever seen in my life. If it weren't for that pretty little face of yours, you wouldn't even be good enough to be an extra."
It was a blatant lie. But Hyunjin didn't care. He was simply firing insults like an out-of-control machine gun.
"Mediocre performance?" Felix let out a nasal laugh, his chin still trapped in Hyunjin's grip. "You're an asshole who thinks the world revolves around him, but everyone in the industry knows your career only took off because people pity poor, helpless Hwang Hyunjin." Felix jerked free from the grip and adjusted his blazer, trying to recover a composure that was long gone. "You still go around saying I almost ruined your career over something I never even did, so how can you say I'm not cruel?"
The mention of the past filled Hyunjin with fury. He hated revisiting those memories he had never truly managed to overcome.
"Don't blame me for everything that goes wrong in your life. If I were you, I wouldn't be throwing a tantrum over losing when I know the other person deserved to win. Maybe that's the difference between us. That's why I always win."
Felix had endured a lot in silence that night. He had stayed strong during the announcement, swallowed his tears, and had even congratulated his rival with fake applause despite never handling defeat very well. He had only needed a minute alone to catch his breath before returning to smile for the photographers, but Hyunjin had ruined everything.
Hot blood rushed to Felix's head. Unable to think clearly, he clenched his fist and swung at Hyunjin's face before the other man had any time to react.
The impact snapped Hyunjin's head to the side, and a sharp pain radiated across his cheek. He raised his fingers to the spot, trying to process what had just happened. It took two seconds for the shock to turn into instinct, and he lunged at Felix, returning the punch with equal force.
From that moment on, chaos broke loose.
Felix grabbed Hyunjin's clothes, and the two of them crashed to the floor, throwing punches, slaps, and awkward kicks at each other. Hyunjin's trophy slipped from his grasp and rolled across the concrete. It wasn't an elegant movie fight. It was ugly, desperate, fueled by almost a decade of unresolved resentment.
In the middle of the whirlwind of punches, Hyunjin's vision blurred away from Felix when he caught sight of a bright white light followed by a flash.
Both of them froze instantly and turned around in perfect sync, standing at the entrance of the corridor was a paparazzo.
How the man had managed to bypass security and enter such a strictly private area was a mystery, but the moment he realized he had been spotted, the intruder spun around and bolted with his camera in hand.
Felix jumped off Hyunjin immediately.
One thing was the public rivalry they had cultivated for years, something audiences loved to follow and turn into memes. Something entirely different were photographs of the two of them exchanging punches in a hallway during the country's biggest awards ceremony.
And the problem wasn't even the media. Headlines came and went, dying after a few weeks. The real problem was the Korean Arts Academy.
The Baeksang had always demanded a composed and dignified image from its actors, treating professionalism with the same seriousness as talent itself. A fight inside the ceremony would be seen not merely as a scandal, but as an insult to the reputation of the awards.
If those pictures leaked, it wouldn't matter how many award-winning films they made in the future. Hwang Hyunjin and Lee Felix would probably never be invited back to the Baeksang again.
And for two actors who had dreamed about that stage since they were teenagers, it would mean the end of something they had once dreamed of together.
"Move your ass, damn it! Are you seriously going to stand there while he posts pictures of you getting punched in the face?" Felix shouted, already sprinting down the hallway after the man.
Hyunjin scrambled to his feet as well and immediately grabbed his trophy from the floor, obviously he wasn't leaving it behind and ran with all the air in his lungs to catch up with Felix.
"For the love of God, Hyunjin, drop that thing!" Felix yelled over his shoulder.
"It's a Baeksang! It can't run by itself!"
Driven by hatred, adrenaline, and far too much champagne, Felix managed to catch up to the paparazzo first, and with absolutely no planning whatsoever or any respect for the laws of physics he launched himself onto the man's back.
The next few seconds looked like something straight out of a wildlife documentary about animals fighting over food.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" the paparazzo shouted.
"INSANE IS THINKING I'M GOING TO LET PICTURES OF ME WITH HYUNJIN GET OUT THERE!" Felix shot back, trying to wrestle the camera out of the man's hands. "Even if they're pictures of me beating him up."
Felix used his years of taekwondo training to try to restrain the man, although by this point he was doing it completely haphazardly.
The problem was that the paparazzo would do absolutely anything to sell those photos as if they were a priceless painting hanging in the Louvre. So, lacking any actual fighting skills, he resorted to the most desperate move possible and yanked Felix's hair.
"You bastard, let go of my hair! HYUNJIN! AAAAH!"
Felix called for the other man, who had just arrived only to be greeted by the sight of Felix looking like an enraged koala hanging off the paparazzo.
Hyunjin stepped forward, trying to snatch the camera from the man's hands, only for the paparazzo to suddenly try to bite him.
"Jesus Christ, fuck off!" Hyunjin exclaimed, nearly dropping his trophy. "What are you, a rabid dog?"
"KICK HIM!"
Hyunjin hated being ordered around by Felix, but he still delivered a sharp kick to the man's stomach, making him drop the professional camera. With his free hand, Hyunjin immediately grabbed it.
That was when the paparazzo, completely cornered, shoved a hand into his pocket and pulled out a knife.
Felix, who was still clinging to him, froze.
Hyunjin reacted instantly, yanking Felix away from the man and pulling him against his chest. Felix swallowed hard at Hyunjin's protective instinct. He tried to ignore the firm grip around him and the way his heartbeat suddenly sped up.
It had been years since they had touched like this. Years since they had been close for any reason other than insults and shoving matches. Years since those arms had pulled him closer instead of pushing him away.
For one terrible second, it almost felt like they were sixteen again, and Hyunjin was once more that teenage boy who acted like Felix's personal bodyguard, making sure no one ever dared dim the sunlight Felix carried within himself.
It was ridiculous for Felix to admit—even to himself—that this hurt far more than losing the trophy currently tucked under the arm of the man protecting him, because for one fleeting moment, Felix could swear he had seen that old Hyunjin again. The boy who used to run through the rain to his house just because Felix had said he needed company and he hated his own heart for believing in that illusion so easily.
"Give me back the camera and everything will be fine," the paparazzo threatened, dragging Felix back to reality.
The blond immediately made a move toward him, but Hyunjin held him back behind his body.
"I'm going to knock every single one of your teeth out."
"Shut up. You can't even kill a cockroach," Hyunjin shot back at Felix before turning toward the paparazzo. "This what you want?" He shook the camera in his hand provocatively. "Then come and get it."
Hyunjin slipped the camera strap around his neck and, with his now free hand, grabbed Felix's hand before taking off down the hallway.
"HYUNJIN, YOU JUST PROVOKED A MAN WITH A WEAPON!" Felix screamed while running beside him.
"AND YOU JUMPED ON HIS BACK!"
"THAT WAS BEFORE THE KNIFE, YOU IDIOT!"
The two of them sprinted down the corridor like fugitives, Felix tripping over his own feet while Hyunjin ran with the Baeksang tucked protectively against his chest and Felix's hand firmly in his own.
Spotting the first door in sight, Hyunjin threw it open, dragged Felix inside, and slammed the lock shut.
Outside, the man crashed into the wood with such force that both of them jumped.
"I think he's going to break the door down," Hyunjin whispered, as if the paparazzo had no idea where they were.
"If he breaks it down, throw the trophy at him."
"Did you just tell me to throw my Baeksang?"
"Would you rather throw me?!"
"I could throw the camera."
"And risk him taking more pictures? Absolutely not."
"Fair."
"What are you doing here? You're not allowed in this area." A voice that sounded like a security guard echoed outside, followed by heavier and hurried footsteps.
The silence that settled after the footsteps disappeared down the corridor was broken only by their ragged breathing.
Inside the room, the adrenaline slowly began to fade, giving way to the delayed and deeply uncomfortable realization of what had just happened.
Hyunjin was still holding Felix's hand and it wasn't a loose grip. Their fingers were firmly intertwined, his body's automatic response to the panic from moments ago. When the realization finally hit, Felix glanced down at their joined hands before lifting his eyes to Hyunjin.
As if they had touched a burning stove, both of them let go at once and took an abrupt step backward. Hyunjin discreetly wiped his hand against the leg of his blue Versace suit, while Felix cleared his throat and adjusted the sleeves of his Louis Vuitton shirt with unnecessary urgency.
"Don't you dare tell anyone about this," Felix whispered harshly, although his cheeks had turned slightly pink under the room's flattering lighting.
"Tell them what? That I saved your life from a maniac with a kitchen knife?" Hyunjin shot back, trying to recover his superior attitude as he tucked the Baeksang under his arm like a football.
"You didn't save my life. You just kept clinging to my hand."
"I was dragging you away from getting stabbed, you ungrateful brat! With your reaction speed, you would've been butchered."
Felix rolled his eyes so hard it almost hurt. He turned on his heel to inspect the place where they had trapped themselves and, despite the stress, blinked in surprise.
It was a private bathroom that radiated the luxury of the millions of won sitting in the event organizers' bank accounts. The walls were covered in dark marble streaked with golden veins, and an enormous quartz countertop supported a modern designer sink. There was a gold-plated sensor faucet and a built-in LED mirror that cast the kind of light you'd expect in a Hollywood dressing room. The entire room smelled of expensive sandalwood and jasmine.
Felix approached the door, grabbed the golden handle, and twisted it.
Nothing happened.
He tried again, putting more force into it. The handle spun uselessly with a hollow metallic click. The modern magnetic lock Hyunjin had slammed shut with all his strength had completely malfunctioned.
"Wonderful. We're locked in."
"What do you mean locked? Let me see." Hyunjin stepped forward, bumping Felix aside with his shoulder to reach the electronic lock. He pushed, pulled, and even tried pressing buttons on the dark digital panel, but the door didn't budge. "Damn it. The system must've crashed when I slammed it shut."
"Congratulations, Hwang. You didn't just hide us, you trapped us here to die." Felix crossed his arms and leaned against the quartz counter. "So what now? Are you going to use your award to break through german engineering?"
"Could you stop giving me ideas that might damage my little baby?" Hyunjin clutched the trophy protectively to his chest, staring at Felix in horror. "Where's your phone? Call your manager or Minho. Anyone."
Felix shoved his hands into the pockets of his white blazer. Left pocket. Right pocket. Inner pocket. Nothing.
"I only stepped out to get some air. I must've left it on the table. What about yours?"
Feeling cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck, Hyunjin checked his pockets. He pulled out his phone, but the screen remained black. He repeatedly pressed the power button until a blinking red battery icon appeared before disappearing again.
"No battery," Hyunjin announced with a frustrated sigh. This was supposed to be the best day of his life, yet with every passing second it was turning into the worst.
The two of them stared at each other as if one of them would suddenly come up with a brilliant solution.
The situation was pathetic. Two of South Korea's biggest actors, the country's most talked-about rivals, dressed in thousands of dollars' worth of designer clothes that were now completely wrinkled, covered in dust from rolling around on the floor, with blood at the corner of Hyunjin's mouth and Felix's left eye already beginning to swell from the punch were actually trapped inside a bathroom.
"We are completely fucked," Felix declared, covering his face with both hands and letting out a nervous, disbelieving laugh. "If someone opens that door and sees us like this... with your face looking like that..."
"My face?" Hyunjin shot back, although deep down he knew Felix had a point. The scandal would be enormous. "Look at your hair. It looks like you got into a fight with a blender!"
He walked over to the counter and carefully placed the baeksang trophy on the quartz surface, removing the camera strap from around his neck and setting it beside the award. Through the reflection of the illuminated mirror, he looked at Felix leaning against the wall and realized the blond suddenly seemed much less intimidating than the image he had maintained inside the main hall.
Silence settled over the room once again, but it was no longer the panicked silence from their escape. It was heavy with the cruel words they had hurled at each other minutes earlier and, above all, with the strange and painful memory of that brief moment of mutual protection in the hallway.
"Look..." Hyunjin began, clearing his throat and trying to break the tension as he turned on the sensor faucet to wash the cut on his lip. "At least there are no pictures of that guy pulling your hair. Now that would've destroyed your black belt reputation."
Felix lifted his eyes and stared at Hyunjin's back. Despite all his anger and the resentment still lodged in his heart, a small, involuntary snort of laughter escaped his lips.
"Shut up, Hwang. He fought dirty. In the Taekwondo Federation, that's considered a war crime."
Hyunjin let out a nasal laugh, immediately regretting it when the cut on his mouth stung. Meanwhile, Felix picked up the professional camera and started deleting the compromising pictures one by one.
"I'm sorry, Felix."
Felix's fingers froze over the buttons. For a second, the blond wondered if his exhausted mind was playing tricks on him and he'd simply imagined hearing that.
"What?" Felix blinked.
"I'm not saying it again," Hyunjin replied, avoiding his gaze and staring at the textured wall instead. The tips of his ears had turned red with embarrassment.
Felix lifted his eyes from the camera and fixed them on the brunet.
"I heard you. I just want to know why."
Hyunjin shrugged as if the confession were the most ordinary thing in the world, even though his heart was beating at an uncomfortable pace.
"I just wanted to talk to you this time. I didn't want all this bullshit to happen, and I definitely didn't want us throwing punches at each other."
Felix processed the raw honesty in the answer. Then he let out a soft, disbelieving laugh and shook his head.
"The one who got beaten up was you, Hwang." Felix pointed with his chin toward Hyunjin's split lip.
"Yeah, but a paparazzo pulled your hair. For someone who takes such good care of your blond hair, I think you came out worse. That black eye isn't doing you any favors, either."
The tension that had been suffocating them ever since the red carpet finally eased a little. It didn't disappear completely, their history was too heavy to vanish in a matter of minutes, but it was enough for the air in the room to stop feeling sharp.
Hyunjin slowly exhaled through his nose, accepting that he'd have to endure Felix's presence for a while longer. Probably not for too long. They were the biggest stars of the night, after all. There was no way nobody at the ceremony had noticed both of them disappearing. Sooner or later, their managers would have that door broken down, they just had to wait.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Felix suddenly shouted, shattering the calm.
Hyunjin nearly jumped out of his skin, clutching his chest in alarm.
"Jesus Christ, Lee Felix! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
Completely ignoring the complaint, Felix was bent over one of the bathroom's built-in cabinets. After opening one of the dark wooden drawers, his brown eyes widened with excitement and he reached inside to retrieve his discovery.
"Finally, some real alcohol in this pretentious place!"
Felix approached him and handed over a bottle of French wine.
"Want me to smash this over your head?"
"No, you tadpole with an underdeveloped brain. I want you to open it."
"How am I supposed to do that without a corkscrew?"
"Figure it out. You're the one who trapped us in here. It's the least you can do."
Hyunjin carried the bottle over to the scented candle forgotten on the counter and carefully heated the neck of the bottle. A few seconds later, the pressure forced the cork to pop out with a sharp sound.
Felix's eyes widened.
"What the fuck?"
With an unbearably smug expression, Hyunjin handed the bottle back to him.
"You're welcome."
Felix stared at the wine, then he stared at Hyunjin.
"Since when do you know how to do that?"
"Since I survived three years living with Changbin."
"That explains absolutely nothing."
"You've never seen that guy try to open a bottle with a power drill?"
"I'm afraid to ask if that actually happened."
"Unfortunately, yes. More than once."
Felix let out a short laugh and, before he could stop himself, ended up genuinely laughing.
Hyunjin fiddled with the rings on his fingers because he had no idea how to react to the fact that the pleasant sound coming out of Felix's mouth had been caused by him.
Unaware of the expression on the other's face, Felix grabbed two crystal glasses from another drawer.
"I can't believe this bathroom is better stocked than my house."
"You live in a forty-billion-won apartment, Felix."
"Exactly. Outrageous."
As the scent of sandalwood filled the room and the golden light from the mirror illuminated the luxurious bathroom, it felt as though they had reached a temporary truce.
The two sat down on the floor and Felix poured the wine into their glasses. When he handed Hyunjin his glass, their fingers brushed. It took them both a moment to regain their senses and pull away from the warmth of that touch.
Felix drank to hide how flustered he felt, and Hyunjin quickly did the same.
"I lied earlier," Hyunjin admitted, licking the wine from his lips. "Your acting isn't mediocre. I honestly don't think I've ever seen anything so brilliant in my life. When I watched your movie, I almost forgot how terrible the script was."
"Wait, you watched my movie?"
"I went to a theater in disguise and sat in the last row. I needed to know what the competition looked like."
"I watched yours too..." Felix admitted with difficulty. Words had always come harder to him than they did to Hyunjin. "Winter Bloom was... interesting."
"You cried, didn't you?"
"Never. Don't flatter yourself." Felix turned his head away and took another sip. "But I might have had to lie and say my eyes were irritated that day."
The taller man burst out laughing, and Felix joined him. Then the blond set his wine glass down, got up to grab a tissue, dampened it with hand sanitizer, and crouched in front of Hyunjin.
"Lee Felix, what are you doing?" Hyunjin tried to pull away, but Felix climbed into his lap, trapping him between his legs. "This doesn't look like a taekwondo move."
"Stay still. It'll hurt more if you move."
He gently began cleaning the corner of Hyunjin's mouth. The brunet grumbled softly, his brow furrowed from the sting of the cut, but eventually gave in to the soft touch and closed his eyes. Felix remained there, perched on top of him, much too close.
Without noticing, Hyunjin's hands came to rest on Felix's thighs. The brunet didn't even realize it. Felix, however, noticed immediately and, against all logic, didn't move away.
"Maybe this is our chance to talk about that."
"Don't even think about it." Felix dropped the tissue onto the floor and stretched his body to climb off Hyunjin, but the brunet held him firmly in his lap. "We both know how this ends, Hyunjin. Can't you enjoy five minutes of peace between us?"
"No. I need to understand why you did that to me. After everything we'd been through together, if you didn't feel the same way, fine. I would've accepted it and learned to live with it. But did you really have to leave the series like that just because I was in love with you?"
"My God, Hyunjin..." Felix looked genuinely shocked by what he'd just heard. "Is that really what you think happened?"
"It's the only explanation, Felix. Damn it, I confessed to you at that stupid party, and the next day I found out through gossip websites that you'd broken your contract with the series. You didn't even say goodbye. You just cut me out of your life."
"You humiliated me in front of two hundred people that night."
"I didn't humiliate you. We fought. It was an awful fight, but it was still just a fight!"
"You're unbelievable." The blond let out a shaky breath of laughter, his eyes beginning to fill with tears as he tried to free himself from Hyunjin's hold, but the brunet stubbornly kept him close.
"Felix, please..." Hyunjin pleaded. "I just need an answer. I need to know why the person I loved most in the world decided to disappear from my life. And I know it wasn't because of that argument. You knew me better than anyone. You knew I would've crawled across the floor and kissed your feet, begging for forgiveness the next day for every stupid thing I'd said. So why did you leave?"
"Do you remember what you said before you confessed?" Felix murmured.
Hyunjin had never been as drunk in his life as he had been at the premiere party for Stray Kids' third season. But yes, he remembered the sudden courage that had made him tell Felix about the offer he'd received from Hollywood, a role in a massive production that would launch his career onto the international stage.
"I told you I'd have to move to the United States, and you got furious. And I ended up yelling that you were a fucking jealous asshole..."
"I wasn't furious. I was terrified because you said you wouldn't accept it because you didn't want to leave me behind." Felix took a deep breath. "Do you have any idea what I felt when I heard that? I felt like a burden in your life. Like I was the only thing keeping you from achieving everything you'd ever dreamed of."
Felix couldn't look at him. He had never been good at talking about his feelings, much less the ones he'd spent years trying to bury deep inside himself. But if being trapped in this bathroom was their only chance to finally lay all their cards on the table, then he wasn't going to hesitate anymore.
"I loved you too, Hyunjin. I loved you so much that every time some ridiculous dating rumor about you and some actress or model came out, I wanted to throw up from jealousy, even though I knew it was all made up by the media. But if there was one thing I could never forgive myself for, it was letting that love stop you from becoming something extraordinary. So yes, I was a monster that night. I screamed that you were selfish, that you only thought about yourself, that you were abandoning me... but all of that was just a façade. I needed you to hate me. I thought that if you saw me as some spoiled, jealous brat, you'd wake up, realize the mistake you were making, and accept that damn Hollywood offer."
"It wasn't your decision to make."
"I know it wasn't!" Felix replied, his voice cracking from the tears he was trying to hold back. "That's why I pushed you like that. You never would've had the courage to leave the series on your own because you'd feel like you were abandoning the boys, and the guilt would've eaten you alive."
"So you broke your contract because you knew that if any one of the eight of us left, the series would end."
"And you would go to Hollywood."
"You destroyed your career for me?"
"Don't be dramatic."
"Lee Felix!"
"It was the stupidest decision of my life, but I was desperate, okay? You were supposed to become a fucking global star!"
Stray Kids had always been an expensive production, and despite its popularity, the network could no longer afford its costs. When Felix broke his contract, the executives used it as the perfect excuse they needed to announce the show's end, dragging the story out for two more miserable seasons before finally cancelling it. But the network never told the cast the truth. Felix took all the public and legal blame by himself.
Hyunjin felt the air leave his lungs as he finally understood the magnitude of the sacrifice. Felix had nearly destroyed his own career, becoming the villain in the eyes of the fans and, even worse, spending years secretly paying a multimillion contractual penalty that had almost driven him into bankruptcy. All to set Hyunjin free. And the cruelest part of all was that when Felix eventually found out the truth years later, he discovered that his sacrifice had been meaningless, and hiding his hatred for Hyunjin became impossible.
"You should've gone to the United States."
"How could I have gone to the United States, Felix?" Hyunjin asked tiredly, resting his forehead against the blond's chest before looking back into his eyes. "I rejected the Hollywood role the same day I received the offer. Before that party, before I even talked to you."
"W-What? You've got to be kidding me."
"I turned it down the moment that american producer placed the papers in front of me," Hyunjin confessed, pulling Felix even closer. "That dream of reaching the top of the world was never just mine. It was ours. And I could never have lived that dream if you weren't there to share the top with me."
Seven years. They had spent nearly a decade destroying each other, nurturing a sick resentment over one damn misunderstanding. Felix thought that if he hadn't been such a coward, if he had simply reached out instead of devising an escape plan, everything would've been different.
Looking at Hyunjin now, with those brown eyes overflowing with the same vulnerability he'd had at nineteen, Felix could no longer fight himself. The wall of pride finally cracked completely, and after seven years of making it clear to the entire world how much they hated each other and how there was supposedly no chance they could ever become what they once were again, Felix closed the distance.
He moved forward and cupped Hyunjin's face with both hands. His fingers tangled in the brunet's dark hair as he pulled him closer with desperate urgency and pressed their lips together.
It was a desperate collision, a kiss that should have happened at that damn debut party. Instead of causing all that ruin, instead of breaking contracts and running away, he should have simply listened to his heart. He should have kissed the love of his life right there, in front of anyone who wanted to see, and never, ever, run away from the chance to be happy alongside Hyunjin.
Hyunjin let out a trembling sigh against Felix's lips, the initial shock lasting only a few seconds before his arms wrapped around the blond's waist with overwhelming force, holding him firmly in his lap. The kiss was a chaotic mix of emotions. It had the bitter warmth of champagne, the salt of the tears now streaming down Felix's face, and the metallic taste of blood from Hyunjin's cracked lip, but neither of them cared. They were drowning in each other's mouths, making up for every year they had spent apart.
"I swear you'll pay for thinking you had the right to leave me, Lee Felix," Hyunjin said, reluctantly breaking off the kiss. Felix let out a groan of displeasure at the separation.
"And I'll show you what the real prize is tonight..." Felix murmured, pausing to brush the tip of his nose against Hyunjin's cheek before biting his lower lip and giving a firm bite right on the cut.
Hyunjin let out a muffled exclamation at the immediate burning sensation, his entire body tensing beneath Felix, but he didn't pull away. Quite the opposite. His grip on Felix's waist became even more possessive. There was no chance of him letting go again.
"What is it?"
"It's me, my little ferret," Felix whispered against his lips, displaying a sly and triumphant smile, brimming with that overwhelming sensuality that Hyunjin hated to love so much.
The atmosphere inside the bathroom was about to burst into flames, making Baeksang and the rest of the world seem completely insignificant.
Because the whole world spent years watching Hwang Hyunjin and Lee Felix destroy each other. And now, away from the spotlight, they would finally unleash everything that had always existed between them: love, longing, and an insatiable desire.