Chapter Text
shiroi bara
“white roses”: In Japan, white roses stand for purity, innocence, and silent devotion. Four in number symbolize eternal romantic devotion to a partner.
The twilight burned red as Ai stood in the telephone booth, determined to get answers for her kids. She dialed his number, which she remembered well from the years they were together.
. . .
“Hello?” a voice answered from the phone, one she hadn’t heard in years. Hearing it after so long gave her a sense of melancholy.
“Hi, long time no see, Hikaru,” Ai muttered into the phone, awaiting the next few words.
“Ai? Why are you calling all of a sudden?” Hikaru asked, surprised.
“I was just wondering if you’d like to meet the kids,” Ai said, recalling a conversation she overheard between her children.
“I try not to think about it, but I wonder who our father is from time to time. Just thinking about it makes my heart sink,” said Aqua, clutching his stomach like he was sick. “You dummy, you let stuff like paternity get you down. She obviously had a virgin conception; there was never a guy in the first place,” Ruby responded, looking like a starry-eyed fangirl and a sleep paralysis demon were sharing a face.
It worried Ai that they arrived at such a strange conclusion, so she decided to ask him—even though it went against her gut feeling. “They’re smart kids, I’m sure they’ll understand our situation,” Ai added.
“What, are you trying to get back together?” Hikaru responded nonchalantly, while past memories flooded his mind.
“I mean, if you want to,” Ai said without thinking—more of an impulse. Where did that come from? I don’t understand; it’s like my heart spoke before my mind. That never happens to me!
“Huh?” Hikaru was stunned for a second before quickly regaining his composure.
“Sure,” he answered, feeling more and more satisfaction as he got closer and closer to reconnecting with Ai.
“Really?” Ai blushed from ear to ear. Unable to believe that her heart spoke to her for the first time in a while.
“Yeah, where are we meeting?” said Hikaru, feeling a familiar sense of longing.
“I’ll give you my new address to come meet the kids. You can come by tomorrow," replied Ai, now resolute in her stance.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
“I’m home!” Ai shouted as she closed the door behind her, the earlier conversation still fresh in her mind.
“Welcome home, Mama. Can Mama give Ruby headpats? Please?” echoed Ruby with puppy eyes.
“Of course! You sure love your head pats, Ruby,” responded Ai with her usual practiced enthusiastic voice and sat down on the couch.
Pat Pat Pat
She reminisced about the times with Hikaru and the reason she had broken up with him. At that time, she believed it was best for the two of them.
Pat Pat Pat
But was it really? The more she thought about it, the less sense it made. It would be way easier to support two children on two salaries. And the kids would be a lot happier, too.
Pat Pat Pat
Additionally, her former concern that Hikaru was too dependent on her when they were together was also annulled, as four years was more than enough time for Hikaru to become independent and gain a good standing in the industry.
Pat Pat Pat
I hope he meant it seriously because I do yearn for his company at times.
Pat Pat Pat
“You seem awfully concerned,” said President Ichigo, barging in on her.
“Whoa, you scared me!” responded Ai, who was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice him arriving.
“So, what's on your mind? You didn’t bring up any old scandals, did you? We are currently planning our Dome concert, so don't even think about calling their father,” said Ichigo in a worried tone.
“Of course not,” said Ai. Like she usually did, always saying the right thing without a concern for reality. I’m a liar, she thought. I lie so much that I sometimes can’t distinguish my real feelings from the lies. I’m horrible at loving people, too. Do I even deserve to be loved when I can’t love them back? But then again, I used to think there was no way someone like me could become an Idol. I guess I was wrong, though, because what my idol career taught me more than anything else is that lies are a form of love. And if I keep lying, then at some point the lies will become the truth, and I will really be able to love someone.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Later that day, Hikaru met up with Nino and her boyfriend, Ryosuke, again. The earlier conversation gave him an unusually happy aura. When stepping into Ryosuke's apartment, he sees the couple sitting comfortably on their couch, watching some random show he doesn’t recognize. He closes the door, takes off his shoes, and makes his way to the couch.
“Hi Ryosuke, Hi Nino,” spoke Hikaru, still in a daze from the previous conversation, and sat down next to Ryosuke.
“Hey, you seem quite happy,” replied Nino in a questioning tone.
“Yes, Ai has reached a new milestone in followers recently,” mentioned Hikaru, who needed a quick excuse to not seem suspicious.
“Right, she did,” said Ryosuke in a distracted tone. “1 Million followers. Quite the achievement if I do say so myself.”
Why did I already make Ryosuke hate Ai? thought Hikaru. This is really going to bite me in the backside later, isn’t it? Ai is precious, I can’t let her get damaged. Hikaru was mad at himself as he didn’t consider getting back together with Ai as a possibility and mindlessly pursued his revenge for the past few years.
And so they continued talking like they usually did, until Hikaru left.
“Ryosuke,” said Nina to him as soon as Hikaru was out the door.
“Yeah, Nino, what’s up?” replied Ryosuke.
“He was way too happy right now,” declared Nino.
“Right, but he did tell us why, did he not?” Ryosuke responded, confused.
“You really are dense, aren’t you?” pointed Nino out. “He wasn’t even that smitten when she got back from her Hiatus. There is obviously something more at play here.”
“Sure, but what am I supposed to do about that?” asked Ryosuke, defending himself.
“You follow him for now; we need to know what made him so happy,” stated Nino, looking like she was counting the air. “I have a premonition, although I can’t be sure without checking first.”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
A white pedal drops to a puddle on the ground. Someone is arriving with a bouquet, the obvious centerpiece being the four white roses surrounded by an array of colourful hibiscus and green foliage. Birds are chirping in the distance, surrounded by the sounds of traffic. Outside, the sky is painted a clear blue with small hints of white clouds.
. . .
A ring at the doorbell, could it be? Ai rushes to the door, her desire to see him again surfacing in a grand wave of emotion. She opens the door, and she is met by a man wearing a grey zip-up hoodie. He has amethyst purple eyes, and his forehead is covered by messy blonde strands all over his forehead, his face portraying a neutral expression.
“How are our kids?” says a voice.
“Hikaru!” Ai exclaims in joy – the world seems to flourish with colour again, and their reunion makes her overflow with joy.
“Ai!” Hikaru reciprocates as his once neutral face bursts into a thousand emotions. Unable to control himself, he tightly hugs Ai. Quietly vowing to himself to never lose her again.
“Thank you for the roses, Hikaru, you really didn’t have to,’’ Ai says, taking the roses anyway, and welcoming him in. As soon as the door closes, Aqua quickly arrives, drawn to the commotion, and has an epiphany.
“Is he our father?” Aqua questioned, face struck with curiosity.
“Yes, he is,” answers Ai, “you’re sure to catch on quick, Aqua,” her smile overcome with true joy for one of the first times in her life.
Yet, there is something that bothers Aqua about the whole thing. “Why did he leave you, Ai?” he asks Ai in an accusing tone. “And why are you reconnecting with him now, of all times?”
“I was actually the one who broke up with him,” responds Ai before Hikaru had the chance to do so. “And I was planning to talk with your father in private for now, the introductions will come later.”
Aqua, with his questions unanswered, sulks and reminisces about the time he was Ai’s doctor at Miyazaki hospital, and how Hikaru wasn’t present there. It makes his blood boil remembering the ever-so-cheerful Serena and how her father was absent too, probably causing her immense pain and insecurity.
. . .
Ai leads Hikaru to her bedroom and closes the door behind them.
“So what did you want to talk about?” asks Hikaru.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗