Work Text:
nando's army of gargoyles
18:57pm
sebastian💌
is everyone here familiar with the phrase love at first sight?
mark😛
actually no
please enlighten me
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
seb he is lying
of course we know what that means
nico♬⋆.˚
do i look like i live under a fucking rock?
sebastian💌
sometimes yes
lew👑🫶
seb shut up
nico never looks bad
always looks devourable
fernando🤙
please keep that out of this groupchat
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
you are actually the fun police's favourite person
let us live
lew👑🫶
let us be freaks nando!
fernando🤙
i am not saying don't be freaks
just be freaks away from me
mark😛
just say you hate us
sebastian💌
this is great and all but can we go back to me?
nico♬⋆.˚
always doom and gloom
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
salt vinegar and everything sinister
fernando🤙
no i am just a normal human
lew👑🫶
technically not true
mark😛
none of us are normal
but i'd argue nando is the least normal of all of us
and that's saying something
fernando🤙
???
sebastian💌
helloooo?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
let's order ourselves in the normal hierarchy
nico♬⋆.˚
good idea
let's put jense and fernando at the bottom together
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
HEY
lew👑🫶
jense are we deadass
mark😛
i love you
but i agree with nico
sebastian💌
is anyone out there
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
ok fine
me and nando will just go and sit in the corner
hang our heads in shame😔
fernando🤙
everyone hates us
nico♬⋆.˚
oh shut up
i can't believe i'm saying this
but i think mark is either first or second
mark😛
i completely agree
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
HSHAHAHAHAHAHSHSJAHSA
AS IFFFFF
sebastian💌
is this thing on?
lew👑🫶
ok the fact that jense is saying that makes me believe this is incorrect
fernando🤙
mark's accent alone demotes him to the bottom half
mark😛
casual racism from nando
fernando🤙
i am not having this argument with you again
sebastian💌
LADIES
GAYS
AND FERNANDO
LISTEN TO ME
lew👑🫶
no need to shout
sebastian💌
i have been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes
but you were all too busy acting like fannies
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
excuse you
mark😛
rude
sebastian💌
now that i finally have your attention
i am so very proud to announce
i am in love
fernando🤙
you were complaining about how lonely you were literally this morning
what happened?
nico♬⋆.˚
can we get the dictionary definition of love please?
lew👑🫶
of course my wonderful beautiful sexy mermaid
sebastian💌
really?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
christ
fernando🤙
ew
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i want a nickname like that
mark😛
no
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
pleeease?
can i give you a nickname?
fernando🤙
can you use private messages
that exist for this reason
nico♬⋆.˚
do not even
i am still traumatised by their private chats
mark😛
😉
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
sounds like a you problem
lew👑🫶
there are many definitions
but the top one is "a strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection"
sebastian💌
precisely my situation
fernando🤙
i bet it is not
sebastian💌
fernando can you not be a debby downer for five fucking seconds?
nico♬⋆.˚
fernando doesn't believe in love
mark😛
weirdo
fernando🤙
homophobe
lew👑🫶
hey
no aroace erasure around here
fernando🤙
thank you lewis
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
yawnnn
seb tell me about your pathetic love story
sebastian💌
so i was in london today
about to get the train and head home
but i saw this absolute goddess
lew👑🫶
oh god
who is the unlucky person?
sebastian💌
funny you should ask
i do not remember his name
nico♬⋆.˚
and the crowd is not surprised
mark😛
seb are you in love with a local bus driver or something?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
is there a new tesco worker that's caught your eye?
lew👑🫶
did you just so happen to walk past an attractive stranger?
reminder that two seconds of eye contact with a complete stranger does not equal love
just in case you needed reminding
sebastian💌
you guys genuinely have zero faith in me
i am upset
fernando🤙
you aren't exactly a master of relationships, seb
sebastian💌
i try!
nico♬⋆.˚
remind me how many relationships you have been in before?
mark😛
to be fair me and seb have dated the same amount of women in our lives
lew👑🫶
that is because you were radiating glitter and rainbows the moment you were born
and seb does not know how to flirt
sebastian💌
ok THAT is not true
fernando🤙
telling people facts about bees isn't flirting
sebastian💌
firstly i am not taking advice from you
secondly instead of making fun of me, how about we support me through this journey of love?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
it had to happen at some point i guess
so tell us how you met this person
sebastian💌
any of you been to that new cafe?
lew👑🫶
the one with the pink chairs?
then yes
me and nico went the other day and it was amazing
nico♬⋆.˚
that cake was so good lewis
...
the chocolate sponge was decent too
mark😛
ew?
fernando🤙
that was completely unnecessary
sebastian💌
thanks for that contribution guys
but yes the one with pink chairs!
and i take it you homos did not see the beautiful man behind the counter
lew👑🫶
i don't notice other men when i'm with nico
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
sometimes i feel like that too
mark😛
cunt
...
but me three
nico♬⋆.˚
wow
i am flattered
fernando🤙
for the record, i do not feel like that when i see you
i get the raging desire to go home when i see you
nico♬⋆.˚
thanks, fernando
fernando🤙
you're welcome
sebastian💌
we are going off track again
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
sorry!
so did you talk to this man?
sebastian💌
no shit i did
told him i wanted the fattest slice of cake they had
mark😛
oh my god seb
lew👑🫶
seb he means did you like chat him up?
fernando🤙
asking the person who cannot flirt if they flirted?
lol
sebastian💌
oh
well no i got scared
nico♬⋆.˚
ok we need to do a lot of work
sebastian💌
I PANICKED OK?
i am going again at some point and i will talk to him
lew👑🫶
make yourself a regular
mark😛
bring me back some donuts while you're at it
sebastian💌
this is about the love of my life, not donuts
and trust me we will be married this time next week
fernando🤙
a little bit optimistic
nico♬⋆.˚
are you going to hypnotise him or something?
lew👑🫶
HAHA
"you will marry me"
"you will marry me"
"you will marry me"
mark😛
well that worked for me
sebastian💌
anything would have worked on jense
speaking of, is he still here?
mark😛
he is currently trying to find your 'husband' on instagram
fernando🤙
of course he is
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
currently looking through the following list of the cafe's official instagram account
mika hakkinen
juan pablo montoya
kimi raikkonen
and david coulthard
it is a pleasure to meet you all
sebastian💌
YES
KIMI
THAT WAS HIS NAME
KIMI RAIKKONEN😍
nico♬⋆.˚
well this is a great bit of progress
also is that a finnish name?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i'm gonna take a guess and say the 5 finnish flags in his bio do in fact mean he is finnish
lew👑🫶
jense you know flags?
mark😛
do not get him started
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
yes
lew👑🫶
wow
you don't seem like the type
fernando🤙
your memory is awful
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
how rude
sebastian💌
again with the going off track
nico♬⋆.˚
oh yeah
just searched kimi up on insta
definitely seb's type
fernando🤙
it can't be, the guy isn't visually appauling
mark😛
you have such a way with words
sebastian💌
sweet mother of pearl
it is thirst trap GALORE on this account
is this what hitting the jackpot feels like?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
no better feeling than securing a baddie
i would know
mark😛
🤭
lew👑🫶
this kimi you speak of is quite beautiful
i mean he's no nico but yeah
not bad
nico♬⋆.˚
so has he followed you back yet?
sebastian💌
ok woah
i haven't followed him
fernando🤙
it's like talking to a brick wall, wow
mark😛
seb follow him
then when he follows back you know he loves you too
and then you can slide into his dms
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
never use the phrase "slide into the dms" ever again?
mark😛
sorry darling
but seb if this is your true love
then why are you scared to follow him?
sebastian💌
because i barely know him
and it feels weird that we've gone and found his social media
mark😛
if you don't follow him, i will
and i will pass your insta over to him
sebastian💌
please do not do that
lew👑🫶
these are the 2 most delusional people having this conversation
way too freely in my opinion
mark😛
me???
fernando🤙
yes you
remember when you messaged me because you thought jenson was going to propose?
but it was actually just because he found a "pretty rock" on the beach and put it in his pocket?
nico♬⋆.˚
lolll
fernando🤙
mind you that was a week after they started dating
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
a WEEK?
mark😛
IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT CRAZY
sebastian💌
not for you guys' standards, that's for sure
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
our 'standards'??
lew👑🫶
are you asking to be humilated?
nico♬⋆.˚
you guys made out 7 times before you pulled your shit together and started dating
fernando🤙
and only 2 of those were while drunk
mark😛
ok let's go back to seb and stop bullying me and jense
sebastian💌
thank you mark!
although bullying you and jense is a great alternative
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
seb
just follow him
sebastian💌
okay but
lew👑🫶
follow him
sebastian💌
guys wait
fernando🤙
follow him
sebastian💌
STOP
mark😛
follow him
nico♬⋆.˚
not sure if anyone has said this yet
but you should follow kimi on instagram
sebastian💌
fine
fucking fine
...
now what?
OH GOD I REGRET THIS
I'M PANICKING
WHAT IF I SCARED HIM
AND HE BLOCKS ME
AND THEN HE LAUGHS AT ME IF HE EVER SEES ME AGAIN?
lew👑🫶
you need to calm down
fernando🤙
i would say this is a slight overreaction
but for you this is pretty low level
sebastian💌
fernando you are not helping
don't be so matter of factly you shit
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
kimi doesn't follow that many people back to be fair
sebastian💌
ALSO NOT HELPING??
what if he is straight
oh my god
nico♬⋆.˚
not going to lie seb
no straight person styles their hair like that
or wears sunglasses when it's snowing
mark😛
nothing wrong with that
fernando🤙
so much wrong with that
mark😛
why are you such a bitch
fernando🤙
no i just think wearing sunglasses when there is no sun out makes you an idiot
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i think it's hot
sebastian💌
as of 3 minutes ago, me too
lew👑🫶
what is wrong with you lot
nico♬⋆.˚
my love
my life
my everything
you cannot talk
lew👑🫶
ok fine
mark😛
simp
lew👑🫶
bitch
mark😛
cunt
fernando🤙
can you shut up?
sebastian💌
oh my god i have to marry this man
guys he snowboards
there is nothing hotter than being able to play winter sports
nico♬⋆.˚
he also plays ice hockey, parties all the time and loves ice cream
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i would love to party with kimi
sebastian💌
me too
except it's only me and him at the party
and the party is hosted in my bedroom
fernando🤙
once again, i am so glad i don't live with you
mark😛
me too
i'd kill myself if i lived with seb
sebastian💌
that is now the only reason i wish to live with you, mark
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
do not say that
lew👑🫶
mimimimimi look at me i'm jenson and i'm a simp
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
SO ARE YOU?
YOU'RE PROBABLY WORSE THAN ME
nico♬⋆.˚
no chance
jense you are such a simp
actually both you and mark are as bad as each other
mark😛
why am i catching strays?
fernando🤙
i don't know but it was probably deserved
sebastian💌
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
CODE RED
CODE RED
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
mark😛
WHAT???
nico♬⋆.˚
oh god no
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
HAS SOMEONE DIED?
sebastian💌
HE FOLLOWED ME BACK
lew👑🫶
no way
fernando🤙
shit
already?
mark😛
HE ACTUALLY DID?
sebastian💌
the fact that you all sound so surprised is not reassuring
BUT YES
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
nico♬⋆.˚
as mark very ungayly put it earlier
"slide into his dms"
sebastian💌
BUT HOW
GUYS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
lew👑🫶
fucking hell seb
did you never get married on the school playground?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i got married nine different times in primary school
mark😛
definitely not jealous
fernando🤙
i hope those 9 people have made full recoveries
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
BITCH
lew👑🫶
oh my god i remember
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
really?!
i remember you marrying nicole during break time once
lew👑🫶
HAHA YES
we got married 3 seperate times because she kept divorcing me
nico♬⋆.˚
i see how it is
lew👑🫶
i would never divorce you babe
fernando🤙
wait, did jenson and lewis go to school together?
mark😛
someone come get their grandad
dementia has finally taken over
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i have known lew for 20 years, nando
nothing crazy
fernando🤙
oh ok
i just don't care enough to remember this kind of information
sebastian💌
google is not helping
CAN WE GET BACK TO ME?
WHAT DO I SAY?
nico♬⋆.˚
how about something crazy
like
...
hello
fernando🤙
hahaha
sebastian💌
i am not a "hello" person though
i am a "hiii! :)" person
mark😛
considering this kimi is not smiling in a single photo
i think that would work a treat, seb
lew👑🫶
omg i didn't even realise
he is literally 😐 as a person
sebastian💌
oh i have fucked up
i am 😃 as a person
we are not compatible
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
opposites attract
sebastian💌
very true
ok so how about i tone it down a bit and say
hi!
nico♬⋆.˚
that looks good
fernando🤙
send it
sebastian💌
ok
ok
ok
ok
AAAAAAAA I'M SCARED
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
send it before you regret it!
sebastian💌
OK I'M DOING IT
mark😛
if all else fails
send him a dick pic
lew👑🫶
unfortunately mark
not all of us are sluts like you
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
it worked on me
fernando🤙
of course it did
mark😛
😘
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
💖
nico♬⋆.˚
you guys text like facebook mums
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
how many facebook mums are sending dick pics?
fernando🤙
can we stop talking about dick pics?
lew👑🫶
i am partial to a dick pic
nico♬⋆.˚
oh yeah?
mark😛
aren't we all?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
yeah
fernando🤙
no actually
mark😛
oh my god
stop hating
lew👑🫶
fernando is just lame
fernando🤙
no i am not?
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
you kind of are
nico♬⋆.˚
a little bit lame
fernando🤙
ok everyone just bully me then
mark😛
you have a big nose
lew👑🫶
you are incredibly annoying
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
you always leave dirty towels around the house
fernando🤙
I WAS NOT BEING SERIOUS?
lew👑🫶
oh sorry
sebastian💌
OH GUYS
mark😛
WHAT DID HE SAY?
sebastian💌
nothing yet
nico♬⋆.˚
what did you say to him?
you were gone for a while
sebastian💌
ok no one laugh at me
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
HAHAHAHAHA
lew👑🫶
lolllll
sebastian💌
STOP
but basically i was going to say "hi!"
and i spelt it wrong
so i ended up sending just
"bi!"
fernando🤙
oh my god seb
mark😛
OMFGGAGAGAHAHAHAHAAAA
nico♬⋆.˚
YOU DID NOT
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
PFFFFFFFT
lew👑🫶
genuinely how can one be so bad at flirting
A TWO LETTER WORD
AND YOU FUCKED IT UP
sebastian💌
I KNOWWW
I ACTUALLY NEED TO KIILL MYSELF
fernando🤙
please don't tell me you panicked afterwards too
sebastian💌
...
it was an absolute shitshow
lew👑🫶
oh sebbb
mark😛
let's hope he's bisexual then
nico♬⋆.˚
if he is miraculously straight
this might be top 3 most humiliating moments in queer history
sebastian💌
i hope he leaves me on read
no
i hope he leaves me on delivered
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
nonono
do not lose hope
fernando🤙
i've lost hope
mark😛
nando shut your mouth
nico♬⋆.˚
no this is so fine
we just have to wait for his response
sebastian💌
no i have completely ruined this
i have to block him and die
slowly and painfully
AAAAAA
HE'S TYPING
OH NO
lew👑🫶
OH YES
TELL US WHAT HE SAYS
fernando🤙
wishing you luck
nico♬⋆.˚
go get your man seb
for once
lew👑🫶
this is your chance
sebastian💌
he looks like he'd bully me
oh i am such an idiot
if he says something mean i will cry
mark😛
if he makes you cry i will find his address and whoop his ass
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i will join
partly because the image of mark beating someone up is turning me on slightly
but also no one upsets our sebastian
sebastian💌
he sent a message...
nico♬⋆.˚
check it
fernando🤙
we are there in spirit
or whatever
lew👑🫶
look at nando pretending not to care
such a supportive king
fernando🤙
fine
good luck seb
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
so cute
BUT YOU GOT THIS
mark😛
YES
YOU DO
sebastian💌
wow thank you guys
i love you all
let me go and find out if i fumbled yet another fine ass individual
kimi/sebastian - private chat
19:48pm
sebastian💌
bi!
...
fuck
i meant hi
hi!
oh god that's embarassing
sorry
shit
kimi
ha
sebastian💌
please
pretend this never happened
kimi
no it is ok
sorry i laugh
sebastian💌
oh
oh don't be sorry!
i am just stupid
kimi
maybe a little bit
sebastian💌
hey!
kimi
ha
sebastian💌
ok
can we ignore that please?
kimi
if you want
sebastian💌
thank you
moving on from that humiliation ritual
you seem really cool
kimi
thanks
i do a lot of things
it helps
sebastian💌
yeah
those snowboarding photos are amazing!
kimi
you snowboard before?
sebastian💌
no
but i would love to
kimi
if you ever do
go to finland
sebastian💌
you'd say that
kimi
bias
always
sebastian💌
i get that
i love everything about germany
kimi
you german?
sebastian💌
i am!🇩🇪
kimi
cool
i like germany
sebastian💌
i very much recommend visiting if you have not before
best country in the world
kimi
second best
sebastian💌
no way
germany is better than finland
kimi
no
suomi best
sebastian💌
whatever you say
nando's army of gargoyles
19:53pm
sebastian💌
guys he's telling me about finland
AAAAA
nico♬⋆.˚
holy shit
they've hit it off already
lew👑🫶
of course they have
seb has used his adorable-ness to win kimi over
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
he's only 24teen🥺
mark😛
his natural aegyo is so refreshing
fernando🤙
there is no way that is a real sentence you have just said
mark😛
pack it in nando
for once
kimi/sebastian - private chat
19:54pm
kimi
so what do you like
sebastian💌
well i am super boring compared to you
but i love to paint
kimi
cool
you have pictures?
sebastian💌
i do!
you want to... see them?
kimi
yes
sebastian💌
omg ok
yay!
i love showing people my art
one minute
...
*image*
*image*
*image*
kimi
that is painting?
sebastian💌
yeah
kimi
hm
beautiful
sebastian💌
thank you so much!
kimi
you are welcome
so i curious
sebastian💌
about what?
kimi
how you know
sebastian💌
know what?
kimi
i do men
sebastian💌
OH
um
i kind of didn't actually
kimi
hm
no man ever message me like this before
sebastian💌
really?
i was under the impression you got a lot of dms
kimi
from woman yes
but not men
why
sebastian💌
um
well
because
you are
pretty
...
hot
kimi
ha
thanks
sebastian💌
you're welcome!
haha
that kind of slipped out
whoops
kimi
not bad yourself
sebastian💌
i
really?
kimi
yes
i have a question
sebastian💌
oh okay
what question?
kimi
so if you did not know
why you message me?
sebastian💌
well
i was feeling optimistic
and idk
i got that vibe from you
kimi
good to know
people assume i straight normally
sebastian💌
oh that sucks
kimi
not really
i fuck men in private
so it is ok
sebastian💌
love that for you
tmi is not real
kimi
tmi?
sebastian💌
oh it doesn't matter
so are you...
not to be invasive
like you don't have to tell me
but are you bisexual?
kimi
no
only men
sebastian💌
oh awesome!
kimi
thanks
so you?
sebastian💌
what about me?
kimi
men
woman
?
sebastian💌
oh!
well i like everyone
i'm pansexual
kimi
cool
sebastian💌
☺️
but to be honest
...
actually nevermind
kimi
what?
sebastian💌
no it doesn't matter
really
kimi
say
i do not judge people
sebastian💌
you might
because
it's not a good first impression of me
kimi
you can say
it is ok
sebastian💌
okay this is kind of sad but
i have never dated anyone before
...
or even really kissed anyone
i just
can never get to that point
i think it's just me
but i hope it's not
kimi
hm
sebastian💌
yeah
i'm sorry
kimi
do not be sorry
there is nothing bad about that
sebastian💌
you don't think?
i'm 24 and have never been in a relationship
it's embarassing
kimi
i do not think so
you also should not
sebastian💌
wow
that means a lot to me
kimi
good
do not compare to other people
does not end well ever
sebastian💌
you're right
i just
feel like i'm doing something wrong
kimi
you wanted relationships with people?
sebastian💌
my whole life
kimi
and you try?
sebastian💌
of course
sometimes i try too much
kimi
so if you try
how is it your fault
sebastian💌
well
kimi
you do not do anything wrong
other people do
maybe because they do not deserve you
sebastian💌
wow
that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me
i'm so used to feeling like i mess it up
but maybe it isn't always me
...
woah
i am so sorry
kimi
why?
sebastian💌
for all that
unnecessary sadness
you don't deserve to be bored by my life
especially mine
kimi
if i mind i would already have told you
sebastian💌
but like
you don't have to listen
kimi
i want to
sebastian💌
well i'm glad
because you are really cool
kimi
so are you
sebastian💌
☺️
okay let me change the subject to something more fun
you play ice hockey?
kimi
i do
you see photos?
sebastian💌
maybe...
kimi
ha
i have played most of my life
also football and skiing
sebastian💌
holy shit
how are you so awesome
kimi
i am not really
sebastian💌
what?!
you are like
the most awesome person i've ever seen
kimi
thanks
sebastian💌
teach me your ways
kimi
if you teach me painting
then i consider it
sebastian💌
you have yourself a deal
kimi
nice
i have one more question
sebastian💌
go ahead
kimi
how did you find me
sebastian💌
what do you mean?
kimi
my account
sebastian💌
oh
um
yeah
this is embarrassing
kimi
why?
sebastian💌
do not make fun of me
but i actually saw you earlier
when you were working
kimi
huh
sebastian💌
yeahhh
i thought you were cute
and when i told my friends about it
they found your workplace on insta
and then found you
and told me to follow you
kimi
wow
sebastian💌
i am not a weirdo i promise
kimi
no that is funny
very dedicated
sebastian💌
embarassingly
kimi
your friends sound cool
sebastian💌
certainly one way to describe them
i prefer "insane"
kimi
ha
sebastian💌
they have already threatened to find your address, harass you on instagram and show up to your workplace
kimi
ok
i like these people
sebastian💌
hahahaaa
i think they like you too
even though they do not know you
kimi
understandable
sebastian💌
yeah yeah
anyway i won't take up anymore of your time
thanks for actually speaking to me
and not laughing at me for being stupid
kimi
that was funny
bi!
sebastian💌
please no
kimi
ha
i talk to you another time
sebastian💌
for sure!
kimi
bi!
sebastian💌
stop this!
kimi
haha
nando's army of gargoyles
20:09pm
sebastian💌
ok so how do i confess my love to someone
and where is the nearest ring shop
lew👑🫶
what kind of ring?
sebastian💌
an ENGAGEMENT ring???
freak
fernando🤙
i take it he didn't laugh at you then?
mark😛
can i be a bridesmaid?
sebastian💌
yes you can mark
(1❤️)
and he did laugh at me
but it's okay because he is the sweetest and kindest and hottest and coolest person i have ever seen in my life
nico♬⋆.˚
aw look at you go
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
here he comes world!
be kind to him
sebastian💌
AND I DID NOT FUMBLE AGAIN
...
okay i might have panicked and slightly humiliated myself another 5 times or so but that does not matter
because i love this man
lew👑🫶
ok i am nosy
what did you talk about
sebastian💌
hobbies
being patriotic
being gay
YES GUYS HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL
NO NEED TO PANIC ANYMORE
fernando🤙
you were the only one panicking about that
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
deep down i was nervous
sebastian💌
thanks for your honesty jense
then i panicked and told him everything about my personal life and my insecurities
mark😛
little bit of a u-turn but ok
nico♬⋆.˚
oh seb
what do you mean by that?
sebastian💌
well
i told him how i have zero game
and zero experience
and i feel like i'm doing something wrong in my life
then it got kind of sad
lew👑🫶
did he make you sad?
sebastian💌
no no
this is why i want to marry him
he is so wonderful
OH I NEED HIM
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
feminine intuition
or whatever olivia said
fernando🤙
how can seb have feminine intuition?
nico♬⋆.˚
he just can
sebastian💌
oh i have a vision of us standing like this
making out shirtless
mark😛
sounds like feminine intuition to me
lew👑🫶
so where does he live?
is he local?
sebastian💌
fuck i didn't ask
i know he works in the city center but that's it
fernando🤙
ask him then
sebastian💌
no that's weird
i can't just go back
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
yes you can
go and ask him!
sebastian💌
NO?
i can't resume the conversation and say
"where do you live?"
mark😛
well you can
nico♬⋆.˚
and you will
sebastian💌
guys this is weird
lew👑🫶
it is not weird
do you want to marry this man?
sebastian💌
yes
lew👑🫶
well you can't do that if you have no idea whereabouts he lives
fernando🤙
he already seems to know plenty about you and vice versa
what's asking where he lives in comparison?
sebastian💌
i can't believe i'm doing this
if this scares him away i am killing you all
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
deal
kimi/sebastian - private chat
20:15pm
sebastian💌
hey by the way
me again
kimi
hm?
sebastian💌
oh wow you're still there
okay
not in a creepy way
i promise
but like
where are you based?
like where do you live?
kimi
london city
few minutes from where i work
sebastian💌
oh cool!
kimi
you london too?
sebastian💌
just outside of london
i'm like a 15 minute train from the city center
kimi
cool
sebastian💌
yeah
sorry that was random
kimi
don't worry about it
also
how often you go to london?
sebastian💌
a few times a week
kimi
cool
you should stop by again
sebastian💌
really?
kimi
yes
maybe i give discounts
sebastian💌
oh now i'm convinced
kimi
ha
sebastian💌
guess i'll see you round
kimi
yes
:)
sebastian💌
🥰
nando's army of gargoyles
20:12pm
sebastian💌
i take back everything i said
never in doubt
GUYS HE SAID I SHOULD STOP BY AGAIN
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
AWWW
lew👑🫶
omg he wants to see you again!
sebastian💌
I CAN'TTT
i'm so happy right now
fernando🤙
happy for you
nico♬⋆.˚
the sarcasm is crazy
fernando🤙
that was not sarcastic at all?
i'm trying my best
mark😛
i can't believe this progress
they grow up so fast🥺
lew👑🫶
look at him go!
sebastian💌
thanks guysss!
this year is my year
nico♬⋆.˚
finally seb's year
fernando🤙
well hang on
we're only 5 months into it
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
it's not like it's your fucking year
you fell down the stairs and broke your leg on new year's day
fernando🤙
oh fuck off
mark😛
he was still drunk from the night before
sebastian💌
i still have the photo of him at the hospital
lew👑🫶
that was so funny
fernando🤙
i woke up from the operation with a dick drawn on my cast
nico♬⋆.˚
now whooo did that
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
oh i wonder
sebastian💌
okay guys
is tomorrow too early to go and see kimi again?
mark😛
no
fernando🤙
yes
lew👑🫶
no
nico♬⋆.˚
no
sebastian💌
thanks fernando
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
nando the party pooper back at it again
fernando🤙
oh i'm so sorry
by the way nico, that was sarcasm
nico♬⋆.˚
do you ever shut up
fernando🤙
not when it comes to annoying you
lew👑🫶
please do not annoy nico
otherwise he will be moody
and i will have to remove your ankle, elbow and knee joints while you sleep
mark😛
pfft
fernando🤙
well ok then
sorry nico
nico♬⋆.˚
good
love you lew
lew👑🫶
love you more
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
ewww
sebastian💌
get a room
nico♬⋆.˚
that is so rich coming from you two
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
no it is not
fernando🤙
it really is
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
mark come here
i want to aggressively make out with you in front of nando
mark😛
win win situation
fernando🤙
please no
i am an innocent bystander
jenson
NO
sebastian💌
poor fernando
lew👑🫶
i almost feel bad
nico♬⋆.˚
i don't
sebastian💌
hahahaaa
one day that will be me and kimi
nico♬⋆.˚
do you even know how to make out?
sebastian💌
it can't be that hard
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
nando said he'd practice with you if you like
fernando🤙
I DID NOT SAY THAT
sebastian💌
oh fernando!
i never thought you'd ask!
mark😛
that is the most unattractive mental image ever
lew👑🫶
why are you imagining it???
...
oh god now i am
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
ME TOO HAHAHA
sebastian💌
okay this is weird
fernando🤙
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
nico♬⋆.˚
i am not imagining it
if that helps
sebastian💌
i am soon to be married
do not ruin my reputation
mark😛
good point
fernando🤙
ok pause
i would rather lick a public toilet seat and drink the piss in the bowl than ever kiss you
but "ruin your reputation"?
me?
lew👑🫶
first person ever to say that sentence btw
sebastian💌
someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
mark😛
nando wakes up on the wrong side of the bed every single day
nico♬⋆.˚
he sleeps in the bed of doom and despair
fernando🤙
hey, i smiled earlier today
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
to be fair
he did
sebastian💌
so proud
fernando🤙
thank you
sebastian💌
okay so here's the plan for my wedding
obviously me and kimi are the grooms
mark and jense are the bridesmaids
fernando is the officiator
nico is the flower girl
lewis is the wine aunt at the ceremony and the dj at the afterparty
mark😛
YES
lew👑🫶
oh my god yes
fernando🤙
i'll take that
nico♬⋆.˚
sounds amazing
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
I WOULD BE HONOURED
sebastian💌
oh and we all have a karaoke battle afterwards
lew👑🫶
ok but that just isn't fair
because i would win too easily
fernando🤙
no you wouldn't
mark😛
don't even start
drunk nando singing is pure noise pollution
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
i would win actually
sebastian💌
no you fucking wouldn't
nico♬⋆.˚
sorry jense
but no
lew👑🫶
jense singing is what elton john would sound like if he smoked 40 packs a day in his prime
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
BITCH?!
fernando🤙
lol
mark😛
personally
sebastian💌
you don't even get a say in this topic
mark😛
wow ok
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
giancarlo would win
nico♬⋆.˚
damnit yeah
lew👑🫶
he even sounds good sober
that's saying something
fernando🤙
carlo is good at everything
he's the closest thing to god in my life
sebastian💌
it's because he's italian
mark😛
and sexy
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
what was that?
mark😛
i said and he is not good looking at all
nothing compares to you darling
nico♬⋆.˚
toxic relationship
fernando🤙
no it's always like this behind closed doors
lew👑🫶
yeah but mark probably likes it
mark😛
👀
sebastian💌
oh ew
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
you guys are boring
sebastian💌
i won't be for long!
nico♬⋆.˚
still can't quite believe that
lew👑🫶
we are so proud of you
joining the rest of us in the happily married gang!
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
YAY
mark😛
it's taken long enough
fernando🤙
does that mean i'm going to be alone?
sebastian💌
i'm sorry fernando💔
lew👑🫶
it's ok
he's platonically married to giancarlo
mark😛
OMG YES
fernando🤙
oh yes i am!
that's my husband in a we sleep in seperate beds kind of way
sebastian💌
i can't wait for kimi to be mine
i'm already planning what kind of house we will own
and how many pets we will have
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
aw i just love a happy ending!🥹
nico♬⋆.˚
shut up jense
❤️🔥jense!🪽🌸
well i'll be damned
roll the credits instead i guess