Chapter Text
Travis' infatuation with Larry had started back in junior high. 8th grade to be exact, when Larry started growing his hair out and started getting good at painting.
It started out as envy, just for the fact Larry had the option to express himself this way. Travis' father was set in his outdated mindset about the way things were supposed to be; Long hair is too feminine and so is painting. It was ridiculous at the time, but even more so in hindsight with all the historical knowledge his various studies over the years had provided him with.
As the years trudged on, there were only more and more things about the brunet to be envious of. He'd become a star student when it came to art classes, he was the head of the track team, he'd started going to the gym, he had a whole group of friends and he just seemed.. rather pleased with life. Travis had none of that.
Travis wasn't a bad student by any means, he had no choice other than to outperform everyone else, but it didn't really make him feel anything. He wasn't attractive by any means either, especially not like Larry. He was far too tall and gangly, and had so little meat on his bones he looked like some kind of sad tree. His eyes were two different colors, he was covered in scars and often bruises, he had fucked up teeth, and his hands were mostly.. sparingly melanated. Over all, he just looked fucked up and just leaving his bedroom felt like a humiliation ritual.
In 10th grade he'd decided to do something daring. He wasn't normally one for acts of rebellion, but maybe it would make him.. feel something. Something other than painful monotony.
He bleached his hair.
His father had been furious, but even worse instead of making him buzz it all off he just let him go to school with what he would soon realize was the worst bleach job ever. He hadn't really known about toner and his hair had been this terrible shade of yellow rather than blond. He learned over the years how to do his hair properly, and one time Larry even complimented him. It was probably actually a jab at him, and he certainly responded as if it was, but secretly it made him.. giddy. This was around the time he realized what his feelings actually were.
The two had their fair share of squabbles during their highschool years, mostly Larry defending his friends, but occasionally he seemed to antagonize him just because he wanted to fight. Those were always the most exciting. Any little bit of physical contact left him a breathless flushed mess, and it got to a point he couldn't deny it any longer. He was completely and entirely head over heels for this guy.
This of course led to a lot of inner turmoil. He couldn't be into men, it was unholy. Unnatural. Counter productive for the purpose of life; continuing the human species. Perhaps even worse than all of this and how furious his father would be if he knew though was the fact Larry absolutely hated his guts.
He couldn't blame him, he'd been an insufferable prick to him and his friends for years. He'd hate himself too. He did already.
There were a few attempts at a confession, in letter form of course because he wasn't sure he could ever bring himself to say it to his face. All of these ended up being trashed. There was no point really, and even so.. well he didn't really deserve Larry, did he?
After graduation he figured they'd never see each other again. It wasn't a good feeling, but this was just how things were. How it was meant to be.
Travis started college with no real plan, just wanting to escape his hometown and his family for as long as possible. He ended up falling in love with psychology, and pottery too though he'd never really thought about it before. He felt.. better. More like a person. More relaxed and in touch with himself. Then there was the second semester.
There was nothing bad about it, just a little awkward to be dorm mates with your longtime crush and high school nemesis. He'd been thrown for a loop when he saw Larry's name written on the paper, but it didn't compare to when he actually saw him. Or rather- her??
Larry- now going by Eden- had undergone changes Travis didn't know were an option. They.. well they were a total bombshell. With tits. When they first came face to face, Travis was at such a loss for words his staring ended up pissing Eden off to the point of shouting at him and storming out of the room. He had to sit down and really think about this.
So.. it wasn't like he'd never been attracted to anyone else, but the one who had made him realize he was gay was now.. a woman? And more confusingly for him, more attractive than ever? He'd never been attracted to women, that much he could be sure of at this point, but… well… He didn't know what to make of this. And god, sharing a dorm room was going to make this even worse for him.