Chapter Text
It started subtly.
A few words replayed in her mind at random times of the day, abruptly starting somewhere that sounded halfway through a sentence. But now it was all she could think of outside of lectures and classes, the same line
Because I know I'll have to beg you to stay again instead of simply being chosen.
It replayed in her mind, sounding entirely like only a fraction of a sentence, one she couldn't seem to find the beginning of.
She hadn't heard it from anywhere, nor did she have some mysterious lover who kept leaving her. So naturally, Sandrone felt immense confusion.
It had been distracting her from assignments and lectures all week, those sixteen words that had just suddenly taken over her mind one random Tuesday out front of the astronomy department.
Sandrone could remember the moment vividly, walking with a croissant, occasionally taking small bites, reading an email with her assessment on it. And then suddenly, she had walked into another person.
She was… gorgeous, to say the least. Slightly taller than Sandrone herself, smiling as if it were her first day on earth, eyes an unusual pinkish-grey. And worst of all, it was the fact she was the most attractive person Sandrone had laid her eyes upon. Beside her had been Zandik, a man she had little care and much disliking for. But in that moment, her focus was on that beautiful woman.
She hadn't often taken a liking to anyone, especially not in a physical attraction way. There was Rosalyne, a very dear friend. Peruere was an acquaintance, the two of them speaking when Rosalyne brought the tall, handsome woman along. But besides that, Sandrone avoided making meaningful attachments.
So, to suddenly feel her heart flutter before irritation set in was a shock.
—
Voices buzzed around her, some whining about upcoming exams, others laughing. About what, Sandrone didn't know. She wasn't entirely paying attention to anything. In her left hand was a barely eaten croissant, paper wrapping making a soft rustle each time her fingers twitched.
Her shoes occasionally scraped against the path, a jarring sound she huffed at each time, adjusting her walk. On Sandrone's phone, an email lingered open for at least seven minutes by now, Sandrone's eyes lazily scanning the words. Something about a problem sheet she was required to solve.
It wasn't the most entertaining, but it was necessary.
Just as Sandrone finally sighed, lowering her phone, a shocked ‘oof’ escaped her, colliding with another body. It wasn't hard enough to make her stumble back, but it was sudden.
Sandrone first acknowledged a familiar face. Zandik. His ridiculous teal hair and that irritating face, and then she looked forward. “Why are you standing in the middle of the path?” She snapped, voice coming out sharp, before fully taking in the sight before her.
The first word that came to mind wasn't an insult or a word of annoyance. It was beautiful. Quite literally. She was staring at something—or rather someone—beautiful. Long black hair that had magenta streaked throughout the mid-ends, tips fully dyed that deep pinkish colour, her eyes also unique. Pupils oddly whiter than most people's, that grayish-white sheen she had seen on patients with cataracts, iris, and even more unusual light pink.
Her features looked sculpted by the most skilled sculptors, lips parted, before curving into a soft smile.
“Sorry. I was distracted.” The woman murmured, voice gentle and soothing. “You are very beautiful, miss.”
For a moment, Sandrone stopped thinking entirely, every thought pausing as she processed those words. Instinctively, she glanced down, scanning the yellow sweater and jeans she wore, checking if she was actually stood where she was and not just dreaming before looking back at that woman's face.
“What is your name? Mine is—”
“I don't care what your name is. Watch where you're walking.” Sandrone managed to force the words out, her throat tightening around the words as she pushed past the the two people, shooting Zandik a glare while doing so.
The interaction itself was strange, but so was the way her thoughts wavered from mechanical engineering entirely. It felt as if her mind was looping around a lyric she couldn't place, from a song she wasn't certain existed.
She tried to figure it out, the words ‘because’ and ‘I’ seeming unfinished.
Behind her that woman watched, pupils dilated big, her lips parted as Zandik questioned if they should continue the tour now that any distractions were gone, but she wasn't paying attention. Currently, she was focused on the most gorgeous woman she had seen in years, something Sandrone would remain unaware of as she walked away.
But when looking away, an odd few words began seeping into her mind, unlike her usual bored or lonely thoughts.
—
“I did not know you took interest in staring at walls, Sandrone.” A soft voice chuckled behind her, gentle and magnetic in a way Sandrone found herself entirely enamoured by. Though, of course, she never let that show.
The woman's name was Columbina, a second year who had joined their university halfway through the semester, a year older than Sandrone herself, annoying, irritating, agitating, anything that could express the pure ‘dislike’ Sandrone held for her. And even more irritatingly, Columbina was gorgeous. But that she had learned two days ago during that first impression.
But not the normal kind of gorgeous when Sandrone looked closer, the kind of gorgeous that looked as if a goddess had stepped foot onto earth, overgrown fringe somehow perfect on her face where it would otherwise look ridiculous, eyes an even more unusual grey-pink than she had previously realised, hair silky and black and somehow even more alluring with that stupid dark magenta streaked throughout the ends, tips fully dyed that colour. And then there was her face, features so perfectly Columbina, so perfect in general.
Even worse, she was fun to be around. Annoying, so very annoying, but somehow Sandrone wanted Columbina to annoy her.
With a scoff, Sandrone turned fully. “They are more interesting than you could ever be. Who told you my name?” Sandrone had only known her for two days, refusing to tell Columbina anything after Rosalyne explained who she was, and for all of those forty-eight hours she had been irritatingly infatuated with Columbina. It was like a tug, ever since the first time Columbina stopped walking on campus her first day of arriving and allowed Sandrone to walk into her.
Ever since then, it felt as if a puzzle had clicked into place, as if the missing thing in her chest had been found.
“Rosalyne. You seem to be especially irritated today. Should I expect to hear you say more nasty words to me?” a groan rose in Sandrone's throat, her eyes rolling with annoyance as she spun on her heel, walking away from that slightly taller woman and her stupid white dress. Inevitably, Columbina followed after a short few steps, humming in amusement.
“Go to your seminar or whatever. Go bother Rosalyne or Peruere for that matter.” She didn't turn to say it, didn't look at that gorgeous face again as her ears burned, slowly spreading to her cheeks in an act of complete betrayal as she adjusted the waist band of her black trousers, looking for any excuse to keep her hands busy.
Columbina fell into step beside her, head tilted to the side and turned to look at Sandrone's face. Worst of all, the astronomy major was grinning, eyes closed, lips curved into a bigger smile than she had seen Columbina give anyone else in the time knowing her, those stupid hair tufts still sticking out as they always did.
“I do not have a seminar today. We are currently on a revision block, remember?” For once, Sandrone found herself unable to find a quick-witted reply, that woman's smooth delivery mixed with the teasing glint that said Columbina found it amusing, leaving her at a loss for words.
Not many people spoke to her—mostly because Sandrone refused to speak or acknowledge them—and even less knew what to say. But somehow it felt as if Columbina knew what to say every time, as if she knew Sandrone like the back of her hand, as if she knew Sandrone well enough to know what to say and when.
That fact alone, that small, subtle fact, made Sandrone acknowledge Columbina. Where various people had failed, Columbina somehow did it within just the mere couple days of meeting Sandrone.
Rosalyne had teased her about it, each time Sandrone would scoff and deny it, going on a rant about why she didn't and would never like Columbina when the second year began seeking her presence out on the first day, cheeks flushed a subtle pink by the end. Rosalyne would stare at her knowingly, lips curved into a smile.
It was another reason why Sandrone received that teasing from Rosalyne, the fact she could use her precious time ranting about why she didn't like Columbina, whereas other individuals could barely get a single word.
“Sandrone? You seem distracted.”
“I ‘seem’ a lot of things to you, apparently.” Sandrone muttered, glancing once Columbina's way before refocusing her gaze ahead. And just as if the universe had heard her, a familiar figure approached, looking that irritating but begrudgingly excused bit shy.
Her name was Furina, a first year—just like Sandrone herself—taking theatre and performance. Sandrone had known her since they were little, gradually growing apart in their late secondary school years but still keeping in touch.
As it seemed, the taller woman had just gotten off set. There were no clear signs, but her lips were twitched up in that specific way, the way that said she had just gotten out of rehearsals and did amazing. Her white hair was neat, light blue peeking out from the underside of each curl, brushing the crook of her neck with each step, unique eyes gleaming, lips parted ever so slightly, cheeks a light pink. For a moment, Sandrone paused, her heart fluttering in that bittersweet way rather than the way it did when she met Columbina.
Deep down, she missed Furina. Missed her first true friend who wasn't Alain. But people grew apart, that was inevitable.
The performer stopped before her, wearing a deep blue jacket with white shorts, the jacket unzipped to a white camisole.
Initially, neither of them spoke, Furina shifting on her feet, Sandrone glancing at Columbina, who was staring at Furina with almost confusion.
And then, with a short sigh, Furina looked up, that usual confident flare her friend used to have before it suddenly evaporated, returning.
“Sandrone.” It was only a small acknowledgement, but it felt like almost two years of little to no communication had been broken. Sandrone didn't know much of why Furina changed so much, only hearing clipped stories from Peruere, but the engineer was just glad Furina had begun being herself instead of looped in a constant theatrical display.
After a moment, Sandrone tilted her head slightly to the side, finally focusing on the white-haired woman before her rather than on Columbina.
And then, with a sniffle, Sandrone replied. “Hi.” It wasn't much, but it was more than most people got. Immediately, Sandrone could feel Columbina shift beside her, standing every so slightly taller.
Even Furina glanced curiously Columbina's way, nodding with a half smile before looking back at Sandrone. “It's been a while since we spoke. I haven't seen you around much.” Usually, Sandrone hated small talk like this, but for once, she amused it, paying as much attention as she could without looking too vulnerable. “I got the lead. In the act, I mean.”
“I know. Naturally, it was all over the pages and walls.” Sandrone murmured, voice not hostile or dismissive, something that made the woman beside her stiffen ever so slightly more. “You did… acceptable.” She added, quieter, gaze flickering away from those two different shades of blue eyes.
By now, Columbina was also shifting beside her, practically gripping her wrist with desperation while her demeanour otherwise stayed calm, face carefully blank.
“That's high praise from you.” The words sounded less hesitant now, Furina's gaze brightening in that subtle way they used to when Sandrone would judge her performance while Alain sat on a lawn chair chuckling a few feet away. “Thank you, Sandrone.”
There was a weight to those words, one that made her fingers twitch, her throat tighten in a melancholy way Sandrone refused to express outwardly. There was always some way the taller woman made her react, some way that Sandrone internally scolded herself for.
Her eyes burned for a single blink, remembering the rare vulnerability she had in the days before they came here while preparing for university when she would settle in Furina's arms, huffing and scoffing as if they hadn't been silent for three days, and then leaving as if she hadn't cuddled her at the time best friend while watching a musical she pretended to hate.
“It's… nothing. The play is going well, I'm guessing?” Sandrone huffed, trying to distract herself from those thoughts as quickly as possible.
Immediately, Furina smiled, nodding. “Oh, yes. Everyone has, for the most part, learned their lines. Chevreuse is wonderful. It's as if she becomes one with the scene each time we begin.” Finally, the white-haired performer turned to Columbina, The two practically the same height, Furina being ever so slightly taller while three inches taller than Sandrone herself.
Silence settled between them, Furina suddenly not speaking when she obviously was going to, confidence slipping in the form of a nervous glance away before she cleared her throat.
With new found—or perhaps forged—confidence, Furina placed a hand on her waist, smiling. “I'm Furina. What about you?”
Initially, Columbina continued to just stare, giving a quiet ‘um’, shifting almost nervously on her feet. It made Sandrone huff, elbowing the black-and-magenta haired woman in the side.
“Columbina. Her name is Columbina.” Sandrone huffed, ignoring Columbina shoot an unreadable glance her way while paying attention to that confused performer. “Don't mind her. She's like an instruction sheet with water stains. Completely unreadable and indecipherable.” The words were said flatly, her eyes rolling. Quieter, glancing away, Sandrone added a quiet, “And irritating.” On the end.
And then, without warning, that same phrase buzzed in her mind. Louder than any other thought, more overbearing than Columbina's constant want to be near her.
Because I know I'll have to beg you to stay again instead of being chosen.
Immediately, Sandrone paused, trying to organise her thoughts at the sudden loud—much louder than usual when she was in her room or in her workshop—interruption. Beside her, Columbina also shifted again, humming as she blinked, as if also trying to rearrange what little thoughts that irritating woman had.
Before them, Furina seemed to be, or was at last acting, unaware, checking the time. “I have a meeting with someone taking culinary courses, the fancy ones. She's helping me manage myself and food while living alone instead of having mac and cheese every night.” The performer sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of her jacket for a brief moment. “It was pleasant seeing you again, Sandrone.”
“I… had nothing better to do…” Sandrone murmured, eyes screwing shut in humiliation at the subconscious softness in her voice, the mortified burn spreading and mixing with irritation as Columbina once again grasped her wrist. Furina waved over her shoulder as the taller woman walked away, looking much more relaxed than when she approached.
Before Sandrone could get a word in, Columbina was already looking at her.
“Who was that?” It sounded more curious than sharp, as if Columbina was cataloguing who was worth Sandrone's attention and who wasn't.
With an irritated sigh, Sandrone began walking again, giving up on trying to get that weird but gorgeous woman to leave her be. “Furina. Are you so incompetent that you have to ask again?”
“No. I mean, who is she to you?” That, however, caught Sandrone off guard rather than irritated her. Not many people ever, besides Alain, had asked about her personally. Not about what she knew, not about what she could do, about her.
For once, Sandrone felt herself freeze, brows furrowing, and then raising in shock. It took her multiple seconds to calibrate her thoughts, processing the fact that someone had wriggled themselves close enough to her within just two days to already ask about things that actually made her think.
Seconds ticked by filled with silence, the white walls of the hallway around her feeling far too claustrophobic.
And then, with a shark exhale, Sandrone collected herself.
“Just… an old acquaintance.” Her voice came out quieter than usual, the lie hesitant as all of those years played in her mind.
She was much different then, more wide-eyed and curious, brighter in a way that made her seem much more lively than now.
—
“Sandy.” A bright voice sounded behind her, hummed with a melodic sound, Furina practically skipping into her room, holding her laptop. Her best friend looked happy, showing the unopened letter from their chosen university, a low acceptance rate, highly regarded place. “Letters came in. Would you like to check them together?”
Sandrone glanced at her own laptop, blinking in surprise that they had come so early. She and Furina had grown more distant lately, Sandrone finding a new group of friends, Furina finding her own, but it was inevitable that they'd always find each other eventually.
“I didn't know they had been sent already.” She murmured, walking over to the performer's bed, settling down on the edge of it while adjusting her yellow hoodie and black shorts.
“I only found out a few minutes ago. But I know we'll get in. I'm an extraordinary performer, and you…” A raw honesty flickered in those different coloured eyes, softening significantly. “You're great, Sandrone. Better than anyone I know in mechanical engineering. A brilliant mind who puts even the most skilled to shame.” At the end, Furina's words trembled slightly, the only sign that she was genuinely nervous.
The possibilities of what was in that email held their future, so Sandrone could understand why. But instead of verbal comfort, she huffed, looking away while patting the bed beside her, cheeks pink.
“Well sit then, if you insist we open them together.” Sandrone leaned back on her hands once retrieving her own laptop from Furina's bedside table, the bed dipping where the performer settled beside her. And then, with a hum, Furina shifted to lay, head resting on one of the soft, fluffed up pillows.
And then, with a twitching smile, she patted the bed beside her, lifting those light blue sheets for Sandrone to slide in beside her. “Come here.”
Almost immediately Sandrone complied, acting as if it were an inconvenience while resting her head on the taller woman's flat chest, an arm snaking over her midsection while staring at Furina's open laptop, her own open beside it on her thigh as Sandrone quickly clicked onto her own email. By now, her ears and cheeks were flushed pink, a leg thrown over the performer's hips.
“At the same time?” Sandrone questioned, subconsciously nestling closer while Furina's own cheeks betraying her unbothered act, flushing just as Sandrone's own did.
“Obviously.”
With a huff, Sandrone lifted her head, glaring at her best friend. “Don't ‘Obviously’ me.” Hearing that, a soft laugh spilt from the other woman, the white walls with water connotations closing in around the source of that one sound. “J—just do it!” Sandrone snapped, immediately laying her head back down with a sharp breath.
Finally, Furina's tense demeanour relaxed entirely, still subtly flustered but at least relaxed, hand rubbing Sandrone's back as a countdown began.
The ‘one’ was muffled by Sandrone's focus on that slightly elevated heartbeat thumping against her ear, the warmth from Furina's chest blooming in between her own ribs, spreading as Sandrone began relaxing.
On ‘two’, she melted entirely, muscles relaxed, eyes half closed as her finger hovered over her keypad, leg pulling Furina as close as possible, humming a low sound.
On ‘three’, the two of them clicked in sync, Sandrone's relaxation being startled by a flustered and overjoyed sound, two arms wrapping around her in a crushing hug as Sandrone's attention was torn away from the email, only processing that they had both been accepted into their programs.
A startled sound escaped Sandrone as she rushed to save their laptops from falling off the bed, quickly closing them while grumbling under her breath.
Soon, Furina pulled away, avoiding eye contact while grinning. Her arms didn't entirely let go of Sandrone, but they loosened, carefully composed act falling apart to a rare show of vulnerability and honesty.
“I told you we'd do it.” The words were almost breathless, bright with real joy this time, not the overcompensated energy her best friend usually had.
And so, with a shaky breath, Sandrone pressed her nose against the performer's sternum, allowing herself a hidden smile, allowing that quick heartbeat to bless her ears.
“Be quiet.”
—
“Sandrone?”
The engineer jolted, eyes widening for a beat before she composed herself, an irritated sound escaping her lips. Before her stood Columbina, the slightly taller woman looked confused. Around them, people walked, some running to presumably their study groups, some looking at play posters or campus news, but Sandrone no longer cared for what they were doing.
“What, Columbina?” She gritted out, jaw clenching. Irritation at the disrupted memory gnawed at her fingertips, bubbling over in her sharp words as she gave an even sharper breath, looking away from Columbina's face.
However, she didn't seem offended, face carefully neutral. “You zoned out after mentioning your…” There was a slight twitch in Columbina's lips, her words momentarily trailing off. “Companion.”
Immediately, Sandrone turned to stare at Columbina again, eyes narrowed as she looked the taller woman up and down, scoffing as that subtle tug buzzed in her chest again. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. I am merely repeating your own words.” Without replying, Sandrone turned away, walking towards the two large glass doors to exit the building they were currently standing in, Columbina following quickly after.
Outside the cool air hit her, slightly colder than the air inside. Beside her, Columbina hummed a song she had heard multiple times now, looking at the sky with a curious gaze. Though, that prompted Sandrone to wonder.
Did Columbina have clear vision?
It wasn't usual for someone to have almost completely white pupils, and mixed with her way Columbina squinted or closed her eyes a lot, staring into space when they were fully open, there was plausible evidence.
But she didn't push. Not yet, at least.
“You are staring. Is something the matter?” Columbina suddenly questioned, glancing sideways at her. “I too get lost in thought sometimes. Contemplating romances and certain quotes from them.” Once again, Sandrone found her attention drawn to that singular sentence, guiding them both to a bench with an overwhelming curiosity.
Initially, Sandrone sat in quiet thought, that sentence looping in her head once again.
Then, after multiple minutes of calculating, she raised her head. “What kind of quotes and romances?”
The question left her lips before she could second guess it once again, regret utterly also curiosity filling her usual uninterested demeanour.
“I suppose all types. From roommates to vampires stuck in century long yearning.” Columbina answered, not questioning why Sandrone was interested. “I suppose the ones that display unwavering love without condition. Maybe stories where two people are found in unfortunate circumstances but still love each other so much it hurts sometimes.”
Sandrone stared, thinking about those words, before muttering a short ‘continue’. This time, Columbina didn't glance her way, blinking.
“Okay… The kind where they both constantly think of one another, separated by uncontrollable circumstances…” As if an idea had suddenly popped into Columbina's mind, her back straightened. “The kind that screams ‘Waking up from dreams that include you always feels soul crushing’”
Sandrone paused at that, something in her mind that had been buzzing relentlessly freezing, as if a rope tied around her soul had stopped tugging but had instead embraced her.
“Because I know I'll have to beg you to stay again instead of being chosen?” The words tumbled out before she could stop them, fingers gripping the edge of the bench as the bare, autumn trees swaying around them, wind making their hair blow with each gust. But she didn't care, that dull buzzing had for the first time quieted down for once, and all because of an annoying woman who took an astronomy course.
Columbina, too, looked both confused and relieved for a blink, her head tilting while slowly nodding. “That… is certainly a twist to it.”
“It makes sense.” Sandrone immediately retorted, relief outweighing all questions about what just happened. All Sandrone knew was that she no longer felt as if she were missing something in her own memories.
It was as if a bone deep ache had been eased, her heart stuttering as Columbina hesitantly nodded, parted lips curving into a smile.
“I assume you prefer the doomed aspect of things?” Truthfully, Sandrone didn't. Deep down, she loved the idea of romance with just love, with just affection and care, with people who could love the other without guilt or risk.
But instead of confessing that, she leaned forwards again, humming. “Mind your business.” Sandrone quietly huffed, having to force herself gaze away from Columbina to avoid the faint pink hue raising in her cheeks.
Columbina seemed to notice this, visibly relaxing as she began speaking. “We have a lot of free time. What do you say we visit the new café that opened? The one just outside campus.”
“Why would I want to do that with you?”
“Are you saying you don't want to?”
Immediately, Sandrone groaned quietly, turning her head completely away. “Shut up.” Leaves scattered the grass, painting it a gorgeous yellow, orange, and red. And then, with barely audible words, Sandrone continued. “I'm free for the rest of the day. It's—it's just boredom. Nothing else.”