Chapter Text
It had been a long time since Camilla felt like this.
No, perhaps she had never felt like this at all. She had been in all sorts of miserable and pathetic conditions, but this particular form of it was new.
She was weak. Not just physically, though she was unable to even twitch a finger despite the clarity of her consciousness, but something much more vital to her kind. Her heartspirits were silent. The beast-like elemental spirits born from her own soul and emotions, which should have responded to a mere thought from her, instead curled limply within the corners of her mind.
In such poor condition, Camilla should have been brought back to confinement and provided with the company’s designated Harmonizers to stabilize her heartspirits and assist in their recovery, but she felt no trace of the usual soul resonance. However low her compatibility with them might be, there shouldn’t have been no signs at all...
Unless, of course, she was free.
Perhaps that was a hasty assumption to make, with her memories hazy and missing large chunks. Still, there were few situations that could end up with her in such poor condition yet beyond the reach of their surveillance. It wasn’t at all beyond her to have attempted something reckless and potentially deadly at the hint of an opportunity.
She had been waiting for nearly five years now, after all. While she had no intention to die, it was a gamble she would be happy to take if the payoff was worthy. Any plan to escape the company would never be without risk.
(If they were such easy opponents, her real Harmonizers would still be alive.)
The thought was enough to reign in her rising hopes. Better to focus on the current situation and evaluate any potential dangers before getting lost in daydreams. Her mind was sluggish and struggled to focus, but she had forced herself to operate effectively through far worse conditions than this.
Considering all her senses seemed to be dead to the world, her first priority was to more thoroughly evaluate her heartspirits.
Their condition was actually somewhat strange. Usually, for heartspirits, “poor condition” meant they were unstable and at risk of causing backlash to their heartholder, but instead, it felt more like they were being severely drained by something. A bit like the company’s tranquilizers, but more effective than they had ever been.
Well, at least she didn’t have to worry about losing her mind to a feral state, or accidentally killing herself through her own out-of-control abilities.
On a more specific level… The strongest and most power-demanding spirits, like Longing, the rabbit of space-time, couldn’t even use its weakest short-distance teleportation, and even if she found an acceptable Harmonizer to begin recovering it would likely be a year before she could make much progress. Most of her spirits that could manifest their influence on the material world, such as earth, fire, water, were technically possible to use, but only because their lowest threshold included ‘powers’ such as creating a spark, gathering a few drops of water, or shifting a tiny clump of dirt a few inches to the side.
She would be better served by a lighter and a spray bottle.
The only ones of use at the moment were those like the spirits of memory, illusion, and data, since their powers were exerted mostly in the realm of consciousness, and even that usefulness was only relative to the uselessness of every other option.
In summary... Not great. Especially when she didn’t have any clue where to find a new Harmonizer. Even if she got lucky and met one, what could she offer in return for their services?
It seemed her only option at the moment was to wait for her physical body to recover enough to examine her surroundings. There was no point in making a plan when she had no idea what she might be dealing with. Even without her spirits boosting her abilities, extensive training and combat experience made her body a weapon of its own.
The worst that could happen was becoming the possession of another place like the company, and that at least was an evil Camilla was used to.
~
In her dreams, she saw a golden tree, branches extending infinitely beyond her perception, each leaf containing its own timeline. She felt herself drawn to a particular branch, instinctively knowing that her current location was among its leaves.
It was the focal point, the knot from which countless other threads of time both began and ended, entwining together into an incomprehensible tangle.
As her perception of space-time drew closer to that branch, a calling began to consume her senses. A strange magnetic attraction emanated from each timeline, demanding her attention, but having already entered one of the leaves she could not answer another.
Still, something within her ached at the thought of ignoring them. They called out to her for a reason, after all. Ignoring them would be the worst of cruelties from her.
The tree offered her a solution.
There was a new power within her now, obtained after having acclimated to the rules of this world. While she was still unfamiliar with it, the tree could help her to temporarily access its full strength.
The power of multiplication, used to its fullest extent, could even create another self.
Weakened duplicates of her soul-body began to appear, obediently following the pull of the other timelines and descending one by one into them. Her sense of them rapidly weakened as their independence from her grew more complete, though in the end they were still a singular entity with her that if she focused, could be accessed at any time.
Still, with those fragments of herself placed in different timelines, she would be unable to perceive them at all once her consciousness had left this nexus of universes. They were simply too far to maintain a constant active connection with.
Hopefully, even if they each could only use the power of a few heartspirits, it would be enough. The worlds had called for her presence, not her powers, after all. Though, were those things truly separate? What was she if not her power, after all. Just an empty shell imitating the humanity around her, as though she could ever become something truly alive through the act of it.
This would not be the last time she came here, the tree informed her. This was not even the first time. When she returned, she could see how the other worlds were doing. Right now though, she was advised to focus on the one she was in.
That seems reasonable-
~
Camilla wasn’t certain how long she had been like this, inconsistently fading in and out of consciousness as she was, but at some point, a change occurred.
Nudging at the fringes of her soul was a familiar sensation. A Harmonizer, offering the presence of their soul-song to soothe the instability of her heartspirits. A very polite Harmonizer, at that, waiting patiently outside her soul for her to extend her own soul-song to match with theirs, rather than forcing their chords in to tune her song into compliance.
Camilla was long past her days of pointless rebellion for its own sake, or she never would have generated her heartspirit of wind, born from the demands of her suppressed rebellious feelings to be acknowledged. She accepted the offered harmony after only a brief hesitation.
As the soul-songs began to slowly meld into one, Camilla nearly recoiled in shock if not for her long-practiced self-control. There was nothing wrong with the process, rather, the process was easily five times smoother than any song she had resonated with before. Even the early attempts with her chosen Harmonizers hadn’t been this effective, though of course this still couldn’t compare to how it had been once their trust and affinity had grown.
Ultimately though, this should be a good thing. No one would complain if their recovery was too good, after all.
After ten minutes, her senses began to return to her. The first thing she noticed was the heavy warmth that seemed to be draped over her arm. That must have been the Harmonizer currently assisting her, though it was a bit new for a session to involve cuddling with the patient.
Well, she had heard that the way Heartholders and Harmonizers interacted was different outside the company, so maybe it was just a cultural difference?
The next thing of note was the sterile and stagnant air in the room. There were no sounds except the slow, measured breaths of the Harmonizer beside her. Oh, and the restraints on her arms and legs. If she was lucky, she was in an isolated hospital room where they were simply being cautious of an unknown Heartholder. If she wasn’t... then she was in a lab somewhere. That wouldn’t be pleasant, but she could bear with a bit of experimentation. There was little she couldn’t recover from given some time, soil, and sunlight after all.
The final thing she noticed was… a bit more of a problem. The proportions of her body were much smaller than they had previously been. It was hard to estimate the exact range without seeing herself, but her guess was that her body currently wasn’t even in her teens. While the physical form of her species was fairly malleable, turning into a child version of herself should have required effort and intention when she would instinctively be trying to take the familiar adult human shape that matched her self-image. The fact that it felt like her child form was currently her natural one… was concerning, to say the least. Still, there was little point in worrying about it right now, and Camilla would call herself an expert in ignoring distressing things that she couldn’t change. She could figure out what was going on with that… later.
After half an hour, she finally felt confident in opening her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she cracked them open, finding it about as difficult as when she had been heavily tranquilized during her little meltdown.
Her vision was blurry for several moments, but slowly, things came into focus. The bland white ceiling wasn’t a comforting sight, so she slowly slid her eyes over to the Harmonizer clinging to her arm.
Camilla squinted, wondering if her condition was worse than expected. Her heartspirits didn’t feel unstable enough for hallucinations to appear, but still, she definitely hadn’t expected to see someone so young acting as her Harmonizer.
It wasn’t that children couldn’t do it, harmonizing didn’t have any real skill requirements after all, relying entirely on compatibility to determine effectiveness. It was just that sending someone so young to a potentially dangerous Heartholder was… certainly a choice. That, plus seeing the cameras with no dead angles in every corner, and the plain hospital gown the girl was wearing, she had a sinking feeling that her lab experiment theory was correct.
Well, at least she knew now. She just had to adjust her plans to account for innocent fellow experiments, which meant that taking risks to escape as soon as possible was no longer in the cards. It seemed she was in it for the long haul.
Camilla ignored the irony of once again ending up in a situation where she was restrained by needing to worry about what would happen to others if she was reckless. At least this time, she was older and knew more about the world, so it wouldn’t be as easy to keep her under permanent control as it used to be. As long as her space-time abilities could be restored enough to teleport her a few kilometers with some passengers, she could probably figure out the rest from there.
Having settled that, Camilla examined the child more closely. Pale skin, short light brown hair, and big, sweet eyes the color of melted chocolate. Even by the high standards of the kids in her old academy of performance arts, a very cute kid.
As their soul-songs intertwined, the Harmonizer gently coaxed her into a steadier, healthier melody. A soothing warmth filled her, like her favorite tea on a winter night, or relaxing into a hot spring after weeks clearing out a Fellplane. It was… quite the difference from the company’s almost painful harmonies meant to force her song into workable condition as quickly as possible.
In her mind, she swore she could feel the shadowy wolf that was the embodiment of her devotion peering eagerly at the kid. All Heartholders were weak to Harmonizers who had resonated with them, and it was even more difficult to remain wary of an innocent kid, but Camilla reminded herself not to get carried away.
As an older Heartholder had repeated again and again when she was still in the company’s orphanage, don’t expect for Harmonizers to feel the same affection and dependence you do. The Heartholder’s instinctive care and affinity was meant to help them appeal to Harmonizers as much as possible, since in the long term they couldn’t survive without their willing assistance. But never mistake those affectionate emotions as something that would be naturally returned.
Camilla had become an expert at detaching herself from the allure of the company Harmonizers. Honestly, considering their attitude and the lack of trust between them, it hadn’t even been difficult.
Unlike many other company Heartholders, she at least had the experience of a gentle and warm four-part harmony. One with people who she could entrust with the full spectrum of her heartspirits, knowing they would accept them no matter how ugly or unwelcome the emotion they were born from might be. In comparison, the company recoiled from the swan of spite, mer of desire, even the dragon of passion was too much for their restrained and insular souls. In the end, they had never been interested in soothing the core of her soul.
In comparison, while this harmony was only a beginner one, still stuttering and stumbling in places, merely the fact that entire parts of her soul weren’t being rejected and suppressed made it far superior to most others. That wasn’t even considering the strange smoothness of the resonance between them.
This temptation was much more dangerous.
Camilla decided not to worry about it too much. Once rejection inevitably came for her pathetic clinging, cold water would be throne onto the budding attachment. Her dear friends had been the only exceptions to the rule, and she wasn’t the type who got lucky twice.
The girl seemed on the verge of dozing off, which Camilla was fine with since it wouldn’t affect the harmony, but then her eyes sleepily turned towards Camilla’s face and met the half-lidded, bright amber gaze quietly observing her.
The girl was stunned for a moment, before exclaiming… something Camilla didn’t understand. Apparently, they had a bit of a language barrier between them. Well, looking on the bright side, at least that probably meant she was far from the company’s reach.
Noticing her blank stare, the girl smiled brightly at her, saying something else as she cradled Camilla’s arm to her chest in excitement. Camilla slowly tilted her head in confusion, but decided not to stop her from chattering happily in her direction.
The girl had no issues with her lack of response, only pausing occasionally to give her an expectant look which Camilla instinctively flashed a practiced smile at, encouraging her to keep going.
The girl had probably been in her room for an hour when an adult in a lab coat entered the room to take her away. The girl pouted in disappointment, but stood obediently before saying a phrase that Camilla assumed was a farewell.
Testing this guess, Camilla somewhat awkwardly attempted to repeat the unfamiliar syllables, making the girl look at her in surprise and delight, almost stepping forward to grab at her hand again in excitement if she hadn’t been stopped by the researcher. The woman’s reaction seemed more calculating, watching Camilla for several long moments before finally leaving.
Camilla’s eyes followed them as they exited, before sighing and closing her eyes. There was no point in impatience, after all, she had no doubt that she was going to be here a while. This recovery speed might seem fast, but comparison truly was the enemy of satisfaction. When a few weeks being assisted on occasion by barely compatible harmonizers used to have her fully recovered from a near-death state, her current condition was truly difficult to tolerate.
Luckily, if there was one thing she could be considered an expert at, it was resigning herself to her fate.
~
It wasn’t long before the next visit, but interestingly, this time the Harmonizer was a boy. She was a bit stronger now, so she propped herself upright when she heard the door open. He looked at her with cautious curiosity for a few seconds, before reaching out to gently hold her hand. Camilla sincerely wondered if the criteria for lab subjects here included appearance, as she absently admired the hazy purple-orange of his eyes.
This time, the resonance of their soul-songs was much more normal. Still better than the company workers ever were, but closer to the level of harmony that she had started at with her friends. Careful and uncertain of each other, but still hopeful and willing to try and sing in tune with the other’s song. Maybe this was just how all Harmonizers outside the company were?
While the girl’s song had affected all her heartspirits, the boy was more normal in that some of the heartspirits resonated strongly with the song of his soul, while others remained almost entirely uninterested. Of course, if they harmonized enough times to raise their compatibility, eventually all of her heartspirits would react to him, just like they did with her friends.
Camilla gave herself a mental slap at the assumption that this would be a long-term partnership. She truly didn’t know why she was getting carried away so quickly with both of these children.
(Lonely. She was lonely. But since the feeling wasn’t even strong enough to create a heartspirit, it mattered even less than her other shallow feelings did.)
A few minutes into holding hands in silence, the boy cautiously asked her a question, before stopping and waiting for her response. Camilla obviously didn’t understand him, but she didn’t want him to think she was ignoring him with how much more uncertain he seemed than the girl.
“Sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying,” Camilla stated gently, offering him her most photogenic smile in an attempt to be comforting when he would doubtless be confused. She hadn’t been forced to practice her facial expressions for hours to not make use of it now.
Luckily, the boy seemed to understand the problem quickly after hearing her unfamiliar words. He seemed to consider the issue for a moment, then slowly pointed to the ceiling and spoke a strange word.
Agreeably, Camilla repeated the word, also pointing to the ceiling to show she understood what he was referring to. Nodding, he then pointed to the door, saying another word, which she also repeated. The process continued, learning words like walk, floor, sit, bed, hand, arm, shirt, white, you, me, and so on, until he had covered every thing in the room that he could think of. Objectively, he wasn’t the best language teacher, simply telling her the word once and moving on as soon as she repeated the pronunciation correctly, but with the assistance of her spirit of memory, it wasn’t ineffective. Though, there might be some issues if she had misunderstood what the gesture he was naming meant, but that could be worked out with time.
(It was a little odd that he didn’t bring up names, but there was likely a reason for that. Camilla didn’t ask.)
By the end of their little lesson, he seemed much more comfortable with her. Though, finishing their impromptu lesson also seemed to signal the end of their allotted time together. The moment the door opened, Camilla watched his awkward smile become tense and strained, a faint tremor running down his spine before he pulled his hand away.
“Goodbye,” he (probably) said, and she repeated the farewell once again before he gently patted her on the head and hurried to the researcher’s side.
Camilla sat frozen for a moment. Slowly, she reached up to touch the top of her head, where a tingling sensation remained. It had been… quite a long time since someone touched her so gently. Five years, in fact.
Two Harmonizers she just met treated her kindly, they had a single interaction each where they couldn’t even understand each other, and she was already practically falling over herself to latch on to them. Gods, could she go much lower than this?
(That was rhetorical, by the way. No need to tempt fate more than she already did by existing.)
Don’t get carried away, Camilla repeated to herself, it’ll hurt so much more if you do.
~
By the next visit, Camilla was capable of moving on her own, so the medical equipment meant to provide nutrients and assist with personal hygiene during her immobile state had been removed. Of course, what she assumed were various sensors remained.
The girl ran over to her excitedly, while the boy carried a few thin books which he set on the floor by the bed.
The girl pulled herself up onto the bed this time, cheerfully invading Camilla’s personal space with a greeting that she could try and awkwardly return. Camilla didn’t mind the closeness, though she noticed the boy watching her expression closely for a moment before relaxing at her placid demeanor. He certainly seemed much more… let’s say, aware of their situation.
Though, as a professional liar like any good company Heartholder must be, she couldn’t be certain that the girl was truly as carefree as she acted.
The harmony of their soul-songs started just as easily as before, and Camilla could already feel an improvement in the efficiency despite this only being the second time. At this point, she was certain that the girl must have some sort of special talent in the area. Well, there had to be a reason these two were in this facility, so it made sense.
While the girl quickly relaxed into the feeling of resonance (a comfort which surprised Camilla, since she had been told that her soul-song was far from pleasant to harmonize with), the boy set one of the books on the bed and opened it, meeting her eyes expectantly.
With the assistance of picture books and reading lesson materials, their progress this time was much faster than it had been. Thanks to basic grammar rules (and her spirit of memory), she could soon speak and understand simple sentences, though there was a noticeable pause between her responses while she matched the words to the rapidly expanding list of meanings that had been added to her mental dictionary. From her experience, it would take a couple months for those pauses to disappear as she gained true fluency. For now though, at least she could hold slow but understandable conversations with these Harmonizers.
This time, no one came to interrupt them after an hour. Instead, they steadily made their way through the small stack of books, until the boy finally closed the last one. The girl had been switching between napping on Camilla’s stomach, reading her own book, and watching them with interest, but she quickly perked up once their lesson ended.
“002, you’re finally done teaching?”
Camilla blinked slowly, the only sign of her dismay at calling the boy by numbers instead of a name, but it also wasn’t very surprising. At least it explained why he hadn’t introduced himself the first day.
002 glanced at her briefly, then smiled. “Yeah, 003 learns much faster than I expected. She should be able to understand your stories now too.”
Camilla had figured she also was given a number. She decided not to tell them she had a name already, at least not until they had names of their own.
The girl clapped her hands happily. “That’s great! Now that you can walk around, maybe they’ll bring you to our playroom next time. Oh, I’m 001 by the way, but you should call me jiejie.”
At her words, 002 suddenly seemed interested as well. “Right, and I’m your gege.”
It took her a moment to process the words, but once she did her eyebrow raised slightly in surprise. She’d never had a human wish to be called a familial title by her before. “You want… to be my... older brother and sister?”
001 nodded, her enthusiasm almost overwhelming. Even 002’s expression was more firm and intense than she had seen it yet.
In the end, Camilla nodded in acceptance. It was a better alternative than calling them by their numbers, at least. She was sure that once they had escaped from here and met more actual humans, this attachment of theirs would fade quickly. There was no need to deny them such a small pleasure under the circumstances. Though…
“Why... are you... older?”
Camilla understood she was a child now, and 002 at least was noticeably bigger and older than both of them, but 001 was practically the same size as her.
001 looked like she had asked something truly silly, before an expression of realization appeared on her face. “Oh, you must not remember. Me and 002 hatched you, so of course you’re the littlest sister!”
Camilla once again internally praised her training in managing her expressions, because those words nearly cracked her mask. She hadn’t been so reactive in a very long time, and it now seemed there was a reason for that.
Her shock didn’t stem from the fact that she had been hatched, that was a perfectly normal statement for her species. The problem was that she had been hatched over twenty years ago, and certainly not by these two.
Well, at least it explained why even her heartspirits were so weak, their energy pools mere fractions of what they used to be. For her to have formed a new shell to hatch from, her physical body must have been entirely destroyed. Who knew how long her soul-body had lain dormant before regaining enough energy to form a soul core and shell to reconstruct her physical body within. Being physically seven or eight wasn’t a bad result for a reformation like this, while it had an unfortunate effect on her emotions and self-control, at least she was fully mobile and could communicate.
In a sense, she owed these two her gratitude. She doubtless would have continued to remain dormant in her shell if she hadn’t sensed the presence of compatible Harmonizers, to instinctively avoid a situation where she would wake only to swiftly die again due to instability.
“Really? No... wonder.” Concealing her racing thoughts, her smile and voice remained as gently pleasant as always. (You aren’t a person, remember, a mere doll doesn’t need to show something that will make others unhappy. Those feelings aren’t even real in the end.)
“Yeah, its actually been a couple weeks since then, but you were in a coma until the researchers decided to check if you would respond to us,” 002 frowned faintly, before covering it with a smile. “Luckily, being around us can help you.”
Camilla’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibility. Why was he talking as though they hadn’t known a Heartholder would respond to Harmonizers? Were they simply being isolated from such common knowledge by the researchers? Her instincts said there was more to it than that, but she had no basis for the feeling.
“Yes, your... soul-songs are... unusually... compatible with mine. It’s... lucky, most... Harmonizers wouldn’t... allow me to... recover so... quickly.” Camilla’s smile was calm and warm, but her words were leading. It was true though, while 001 was on a different level to resonate with every heartspirit on the first time, 002’s affinity with her was also shockingly strong to resonate with eight right away. In the company, someone who could reach three at once was already good.
“You understand what’s hurting you?” 001 looked at her eagerly, not a hint of understanding about the terms she had used. But these two weren’t the ones she needed to test, finding out if the researchers knew about Heartholders and Harmonizers was the real key. Doubtless, they were being observed, so hopefully results would be seen as long as she cast enough bait.
“Of course,” Camilla smiled faintly, “it’s... natural for my... species. We need to get... close to... living beings whose... soul-songs... match our own in order to... heal. If we can’t do that for a long time, it can... hurt us very badly.” Not the most accurate explanation, and leaving quite a few things out, but when she had just learned the language and was being monitored, this was the best she could do. If the researchers really didn’t understand the abilities of her species, it would only be useful.
“Are you still hurt?” 002 leaned in to examine her closely, as though he could see something he hadn’t before like this. Camilla was a bit surprised that was what he focused on, her constant smile becoming a bit more genuine as her spirit of affection barked excitedly in her mind. Her ears and tailbone prickled as strands of golden fur grew and they began to change shape, but she barely suppressed the partial transformation before it became noticeable.
“Don’t worry. It will be a... very long time before I fully... recover, but it won’t… affect my... normal actions.” Strangely, their expressions didn’t ease at her words. If anything, they tensed further.
“You’re still sick? Should I hold your hand more?” 001 demanded, practically jumping on top of her and already clutching her arm as though expecting Camilla to pull away. 002 moved closer, also grabbing her hand in a grip her current body couldn’t escape if she tried.
Camilla blinked and shuddered slightly at the sudden amplification of a three-part harmony. The smoothness of it could only be because of 001, since the first attempts with her friends to do a multi-part harmony had not gone nearly so well.
001 and 002 also seemed startled by the feeling for a moment, but quickly rallied, resuming their intense stares demanding an answer.
“I… won’t get worse if… you let go,” Camilla smiled in exasperation, “helping for… a little while… every few days should be… enough for me to… keep getting better. The… process isn’t that fast. I am not… in pain.” She ignored the restlessness of her Affection, Hope, and Devotion. Those three were easy for anyone who so much as smiled at her.
“Alright,” 002 agreed reluctantly, doubtless aware of the fact that their visit was on a time limit even if they wanted to stay, “we’ll just have to stick to you even more when we see you then.”
“If that’s… what you want,” Camilla shrugged.
As if on cue (and considering they were doubtless listening to their conversation, that should be true) the door opened to once again take them away. She wished she could keep them both here, where she could be assured of their safety, but she knew better than to even try. She had no way to know if any sign of defiance would cause them to harm 001 and 002. Among the first spirits to grow out of every company Heartholder’s suppressed emotions, devotion and affection were usually there for a reason. It was a lesson learned the hard way, but she only had to learn it once.
(Or she thought she had. But she was too young back then to realize that however well she hid her feelings, the mere fact of a Heartholder returning to the same Harmonizers again and again had already given her away long ago. The company just didn’t bother to do anything about it, not until it started to affect their control over her.)
If they didn’t know about Heartholders here, they might not know how effective it would already be to threaten her with two people she had only just met. But that, at least, was not a gamble she would be willing to take.
~
As expected, the experiments finally began after she could move around easily. Actually, it wasn’t as bad as expected. They drew quite a lot of blood, but for the muscle, bone, and deep tissue samples they even used an anesthesia. As someone who had been disemboweled during missions, just to heal herself with the regeneration of her wood spirit and continue fighting, this was practically a vacation.
Camilla didn’t bother to switch to active spirits for regeneration with such minor wounds, plus, she preferred to hide everything she could as long as possible. Thus, when she was brought to the “playroom” to see 001 and 002 again, both their eyes lingered on the bandages disappearing under her clothes, and the stitched up incisions on her limbs.
Still, as if in unspoken agreement, they didn’t say anything about them. Instead, 001 skipped over to grab her hand, gently tugging her over to the large, squishy round chair that 002 was in, holding a much thicker book than the picture ones from last time.
“We figured out how to maximize the effectiveness of holding you,” 001 declared proudly, flopping down in the chair with her legs slung partially over 002’s lap, then gave him an enthusiastic slap on the thigh while he spread his arms and gestured for Camilla to sit between them, on both their laps.
Camilla tilted her head, having not attempted this sort of… cuddling before. Still, she saw no reason to deny them, so she cautiously crawled on top of them and adjusted her position, careful to avoid bumping into either, before settling with her back against their chests (mainly 002, since he was taking most of her weight, but 001 more than made up for the difference by practically wrapping around her).
The next few hours were spent listening to 002 reading aloud, with occasional interruption from Camilla asking about an unfamiliar word, or 001 being inspired and going off on a tangent that they inevitably indulged.
This would become a familiar position for them whenever they were all together here. Of course, the other two could also be quite restless, needing to run around and play with the assortment of blocks and toys provided for them. But even then, at least one of them was touching her almost constantly.
After only a couple weeks of this barrage of affection, Camilla gave up. There was no point in pretending she hadn’t become pathetically attached, so she may as well enjoy it while it lasted. Eventually, they would be free and this attachment of theirs would end, so she would gather what memories of warmth that she could before they inevitably grew tired of her presence.
(At the very least, she told herself, she would leave gracefully when they asked her to. She wouldn’t remain where she was no longer wanted, better to go while she could still be a fond acquaintance they recalled on occasion.)
Camilla also confirmed that the scientists seemed to have no idea about Harmonizers of Heartholders. As for what that implied… she would wait to see the outside world before she made any more assumptions.
Things weren’t that bad. Sometimes, she almost forgot she was an experimental subject. Aside from frequent invasive surgeries and being injected with strange drugs that made her ill, the living conditions might even be better than the company orphanage. At least there was no oppressive terror that she would show too much attachment to someone and have them be miserably punished for her mistake, or fear of being seen showing an undesirable emotion and having to go for remedial training.
Though, she wasn’t certain how the others were being experimented on. They telling scent of blood and medication that her surgeries and injections left behind was much more infrequent in them, but 002 seemed strangely exhausted and pained on some days, his soul-song carrying notes of tension that spoke of the strain in his energy, as he spent the whole time clutching at her and 001 as though they were his only lifelines.
As for 001, she couldn’t even begin to guess, since there were no signs at all. That was, until one day she arrived in the playroom and 001 didn’t remember her or 002.
Camilla was stunned, standing stiffly as 002 reintroduced them with a pained smile only she could see, 001 facing away from him.
It seemed like this was a familiar situation to him.
That meant it had happened before.
Thankfully, old habits of continuing to smile and maintain light conversation no matter how distressed she was on the inside kicked in. If she were to list the most valuable training hours in her childhood, expression management lessons would definitely be among the top.
(There was a faint bloody smell in the air. Without her strengthened senses, it would be impossible to detect. Camilla’s smile didn’t falter, as though carved into her face.)
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember much,” 001 smiled brightly, but there was a faint sense of loss in her eyes, though it was quickly hidden, “but I can still feel how important you are to me.”
In the time Camilla had been here, she had been careful to suppress the physical transformations from the heightened emotions that stimulated her heartspirits. It had been a close call several times, especially during times the other two were so kind to someone like her that her brain simply seemed to go fuzzy, or when 002 was having an especially bad day and it felt like that time she had been impaled through the chest by her training partner’s ice spear. But this time, it was the final straw. She could endure a great deal, but that didn’t mean those feelings were forgotten. They just remained suppressed, waiting, a riptide in dark waters, waiting for her to stray too far in so it could drag her under.
Regret, the ice element leopard spirit, could no longer be pushed down. Rounded ears on the top of her head replaced her human ones, and a thick-furred tail almost as long as she was tall extended from her tailbone in an instant. Thick, spotted fur grew over her forearms, shoulders, her upper back and chest, and finally her hips and calves as the bones in her ankles and feet changed until her heel was raised off the ground and her weight shifted to the balls of her feet. Thick fangs grew in her mouth, and her pupils narrowed and stretched vertically while lines of blue and white appeared around her eyes and over her cheekbones. The creamy white fur stood out distinctly against her dark brown skin, ice blue tipping the strands and creating a frosted appearance, while her usually pure white hair, a coloration shared by all her kind, changed to match.
Of course, her smile remained perfect as always.
“Ah, sorry about that,” she chuckled airily, “It must have been too long since I transformed, the surprise made me lose control. Don’t worry, I just look a little different like this.”
There almost seemed to be an unspoken rule in this room to not directly address the things that were done to them by the researchers. As if not speaking about it could make it less real. So of course, 001 and 002 accepted the distraction easily.
“Really, so we haven’t seen you do this before?” 001 looked happy at the thought that this was something new to both of them.
“Right,” Camilla pretended to smile sheepishly, “I know it looks a bit strange, and I didn’t want to scare either of you.”
“That’s silly, obviously I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” 001, who had forgotten everyone she met before today, declared confidently. Camilla’s smile became a fraction more sincere.
“Come on, don’t keep lurking over there,” 002 waved a hand at her, doing a very impressive job at pretending his shoulders weren’t still being held in a rigid line of tension. Acting as though nothing was wrong, Camilla came much closer than she normally would without being dragged into their arms, affectionately butting her head into his chest and making a low purring sound.
It had been a very long time since she tried to comfort someone, but she had seen enough examples to at least make an attempt.
002 gave a faint, breathy chuckle, reaching up to gently ruffle her hair before tracing his fingers over her changed ears.
“I’m a little hurt you never told us about this trick of yours,” he sighed exaggeratedly, leaving her unable to tell how serious the comment was.
She had to stop purring to speak as a leopard, unlike her cat form, but she would rather not risk a misunderstanding if he was being genuine. Her ears and tail drooped slightly, and she tilted her head to look up at him through her lashes, using her carefully practiced apologetic expression which she had found to be most effective. “I didn’t mean to hide it, I just didn’t think it was very important. Aside from how I look, there’s not much difference from usual. I can transform into a few other things as well, but I can’t easily change again after already doing it once, so I can’t show you now.”
Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration, since technically she could change up to three times in a short period, but if she had to reveal her weaknesses where it could be heard, better to let the researchers underestimate her. The fact she could transform was already a lost cause, so perhaps it could be a distraction from the true extent of her elemental powers.
Meanwhile, 001 seemed to be fixated on her gently swaying tail. Camilla glanced at her expression which practically had longing written across it, then laughed softly.
“You can touch it, just don’t pull hard or it’ll hurt,” to express her sincerity, she wrapped her tail around 001’s wrist. The girl was happy to take the offering, gently grabbing the end and running her fingers through the thick fur.
After that, they maintained a facade of their usual normalcy. They pretended that 001 hadn’t apparently lost all her memories of interacting with them, and that 002 wasn’t hiding how stressed and afraid he was, and that Camilla hadn’t just been vivisected for study once again. What else could they do, after all?
(When a researcher came to collect 001, even knowing how pointless it was, Camilla couldn’t help but snarl and gouge her claws into his flesh. The sedative that was soon stabbed into her neck was an expected result, but she couldn’t just do nothing with these feelings inside her, no matter how ridiculous the defiance which wouldn’t even delay their next experiments might be. She thought he should be grateful to leave with just a light maiming, even with her current weakness she would have had more than enough time to tear through a few of them before they could stop her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t risk finding out how the researchers would react to something worse.)
That night in her bed, Camilla curled into a tiny ball, wrapping her tail around her body and clenching her fists until her sharp claws bit into her palms. The same emotions from earlier hadn’t once stopped boiling within her.
Oh yes, she regretted. She regretted the fact that she had allowed this to happen, and regretted that it would no doubt happen again because she still hadn’t regained enough strength to escape with them both. She regretted that before, she could have destroyed this entire building and every damned researcher within it, and it would have been easy. She could have opened a crack in the earth to swallow it, submerged the entire place under a tidal wave, frozen everything within into a solid block, incinerated it into fine ashes, one option after another which she was now far too weak to do, and oh how she seethed at that. Passion, the dragon spirit, bearer of her most fiery emotions, howled with the rage she couldn’t express. Even through that, Regret remained at the forefront.
Her feelings might not be real, they might just be shallow imitations of the real thing, but damn if they didn’t feel real at times like this.
~
After that, Camilla’s days of being a model experiment were over. After all, one benefit of this place over the company was they didn’t know that to truly hurt her, they could just target her Harmonizers. Instead, their punishments were simply causing her pain, as though she hadn’t become accustomed to it years ago. After she stopped bothering to hide her basic regeneration abilities, they grew even more extreme. It would just heal within a few days no matter how far they went.
The main problem was the distress that 001 and 002 seemed to feel at her injuries. When her hands were left entirely immobile after being “declawed”, 001 even cried. Camilla had tried to explain that it wasn’t really worth getting upset over what were minor injuries to her, but quickly realized that for human children like them, just seeing such gruesome injuries must be traumatizing.
Next, she apologized for letting them see the injury and attempted to comfort them, but it only seemed to make things worse. She was once again reminded of how she had no clue to interact honestly like a real person would, instead of following a bland script meant to make her seem as agreeable and inoffensive as possible. In the end, all she could do was allow them to wrap around her as though they were attempting to hide her away between them (as if she would ever allow them to shield her.)
Camilla did her best to heal any serious injuries before being seen, but the two were more paranoid than she expected. 002 seemed so calm most of the time, but the moment he realized she had been trying to conceal having been injured it was like a switch flipped.
Maybe as someone who had previously been an adult she shouldn’t have so easily given in, but she didn’t know how anyone expected her to deny them. She was a Heartholder after all, they were known for being pushovers for their harmonies.
She also got used to 001 losing her memories what seemed like every few weeks. By ‘got used to’, she meant that she had stopped putting holes in her palms from clenching her fists too hard.
It was much more efficient to just injure another researcher and then take the punishment that followed.
On the bright side, she had figured out what sort of equipment damage would allow 001 and 002 a break from the experiments for a few days. Of course, the following punishment was worse when she did that, but she always was careful to toe the line of anything that would make them consider her not worth the trouble. Camilla also tried to reduce her fits in the days after seeing the others, so there wouldn’t be any ideas about keeping them separate. The researchers even seemed to have misunderstood the cause, connecting the sudden transformation with the instability of her energy when she didn’t see them for too long, and started increasing their ‘playdates’ to prevent more outbursts. It was a convenient assumption for her, so she was happy to reinforce it by acting more erratic if she went longer than two days without a visit.
(Admittedly, her physical condition these days wasn’t very nice to look at, which tended to upset the other two, but aside from a few outbursts and becoming even clingier, she thought they handled it quite well. She was fairly certain human children could tolerate this sort of thing, since the others in the orphanage had turned out pretty fine. The important part was the decrease in experiments done on them.)
While they assumed that they just needed to keep her physically compromised to prevent any real problems, they had no way to know that the source of her real abilities was her heartspirits. After all, she had never shown any signs of powers beyond the physical enhancements from her various transformations.
They were free to study that aspect of her all they liked, considering those were merely the shallowest aspects of a Heartholder’s power. They could analyze her energy fluctuations and theorize all they liked, but so long as they couldn’t access the realm of the soul, they would never find the real core of her.
At least Camilla wasn’t idle while she waited. After the first time 001 forgot everything, Camilla had discreetly used her spirit of memory to save a copy of both 001 and 002’s memories while they were asleep. She didn’t view them, since her friends had told her that sort of thing was wrong to do to not-enemies, but it was just in case. While she was fairly certain that the memories were just suppressed and could be restored once Camilla’s spirit regained some strength, if something worse happened that completely destroyed them then this would come in handy. After they were free, she could ask 002 if she should return the memories to 001. He should know more about what was good for a human child than she did, and 002 would definitely watch out for 001’s best interests.
It had set back her recovery by about a month since even a minor usage on another person’s mind was very different from using it on herself, but she thought it was worth it for the peace of mind if nothing else. Though, she regretted that she caused 001 and 002 to nearly hyperventilate in panic when her blood vessels burst under the strain and seeped out of her eyes, ears, nose, and even sweat glands. She also might have vomited a very concerning quantity of blood.
(Unfortunately, placing protections on their souls wouldn’t be possible without giving up the chance of teleporting them out within a year, so she had to leave things at that for now. But if her Harmonizers didn’t want her gone after escaping, she would get around to it eventually.)
The researchers ended up taking her away for an examination before she could explain to the two that this was actually normal and harmless. Of course, they only found that her energies had spontaneously and dramatically destabilized for seemingly no reason. Conveniently, they had gone rather heavy on the testing the day before, so they chalked it up to a side effect from that.
001 and 002 ended up being much more difficult to placate. No matter how she tried to explain that it wasn’t worth worrying about, they never seemed to accept it. In the end, she gave up on the pointless effort and instead decided to accept whatever they wanted to make them feel better. Personal space was already rare before that incident, but afterwards it bordered on non-existent. If her hand wasn’t in 001’s grip, then 002 was keeping her securely tucked underneath his arm.
Their new favorite thing to do was pile up together, 002 was always the mattress as the biggest of them, but the smaller girls sometimes switched positions. Camilla was most often in the middle so they could enclose her between them, but if she was on top then both 001 and 002 would keep their arms firmly around her, like she was going to try and run away from them otherwise. They were always careful about her injuries, but that just meant they were careful where they latched onto.
Well, her heartspirits certainly enjoyed the attention. While Camilla still was bewildered over their actions, it didn’t feel bad, so she figured that it was fine. It wasn’t like she understood how normal relationships with humans worked, anyway.
(Camilla had almost become certain that this was a different universe, as well. Evols were very much a new thing, and apparently she now had one despite not being a real person, which… anyway, that wasn’t important. It wasn’t like there was anyone or anything left for her to miss, and not having to worry about hiding from the company was a relief, but… no, she had no complaints. Though really, what had she been doing to both destroy her entire body and have her soul drift far enough through space-time that this reality didn’t even operate on the same rules? She assumed it had involved her plans to escape, but looking at the results, ‘fake death’ was extremely close to becoming ‘real death’.)
After four months of being here, she could finally use Longing to sense the space-time in the surrounding area. She went slowly to avoid another vomiting blood incident, since even if she found a good location it would be a while longer before she could carry passengers farther than a kilometer.
001 and 002 were quite interested in the silver-and-bronze rabbit ears she was frequently sporting these days, since a partial transformation into her heartspirit form would make using its respective element several times easier. Considering what happened when she risked using Shame’s memory manipulation in a fairly non-strenuous way while suppressing her transformation, she didn’t want to see how trying to use Longing’s space-time powers would turn out. Her body might just collapse on the spot. As long as she didn’t create an association between her transformations and her energy usage, it shouldn’t matter.
In the end though, all her plans ended up a waste of time.
Camilla was alone recovering from yet another surgery (what even was the point? Heartholder organs were perfect mimicries of normal human ones) when it happened. Longing automatically activated in response to the sound-sight-smell-taste-feel of space-time tearing and warping on a massive scale. It was worse than even the largest Fellplane descent she ever sensed. Something in the very fabric of this world’s reality was being fundamentally altered.
It wasn’t long before the shouts and alarms started. It didn’t take much longer for the noise to disappear.
Camilla suppressed Longing back into her mind, instead calling upon Devotion. The shadow wolf spirit was a reliable choice for a situation where she needed both stealth, endurance, combat, and tracking. Her ears changed along with her hair darkening to ink black with undertones of purple, a tail stretching out from her spine and thick fur growing over some parts of her body. Black and purple markings appeared around her eyes, and she flexed her clawed hands before diving into her shadow to pop back up outside her door.
Camilla kept her senses alert, stretching them through the shadows so nothing within a hundred meters could slip past. Most of the researchers had gone, though the occasional corpse could be scene, and the scent of panic and blood lingered in the air. She had only walked a few minutes before she encountered an unfamiliar monster.
It was relatively small and humanoid, and after observing it for a few moments, it didn’t seem like something she couldn’t handle. Summoning her heartspirits power, twin daggers which perfectly matched her current body condensed in her grip. The familiar weapons were just as much a part of her body as her spine was, meaning they were currently weaker than they used to be, and damaging them wouldn’t be pleasant. Hopefully she had made the right judgment on the monster’s power.
Turns out, she hadn’t lost her touch in these months of slacking off. In a single movement, she appeared directly behind it and gouged her daggers through up its spine until its entire back was carved open. After landing the blow, she quickly disappeared again, distancing herself in case of retaliation. Humanoid didn’t mean that it had human vital points, as she had learned the hard way when she was young.
Thankfully, it didn’t seem especially durable, nor did it recover. Though, it also didn’t seem pained or fazed by the massive injury. It whipped around as if unhurt, launching a crescent of light where she had been before which cut into the walls. In the moment after it had attacked, with its momentum fully released and leaving it open, Camilla leapt forward once again, this time deciding to try cutting its head off.
Luckily, that seemed to be lethal for it, as its body shattered into shards of light, leaving behind an oddly shaped crystal. Picking it up, she could sense that it contained some sort of energy, but it didn’t seem harmful so she stored it in her shadow. Then she continued on to where she estimated 001 and 002’s rooms should be.
She didn’t find either of them there, but she was able to catch their scents. 001’s seemed most recent, so she decided to follow that first. Besides, she was aware that 002’s gravity evol already had some combat applications, unlike 001 who was both younger and needed to resonate with someone else.
There were a few more monsters scattered around as she followed the trail, large birds and beasts that weren’t too difficult to take out if she did enough damage before they could react. Her smaller and weaker body hampered her, but with her experience she could make it work.
Though, when she stumbled across a dead researcher and blood with 001’s scent on it, she attempted to move even faster, though she hadn’t been slow to start with. Only a few minutes of running later, she felt herself beginning to flag, and almost swore at this damned body before her ears caught a panicked cry that wiped any other thoughts from her mind.
When she saw 001 being cornered by a much larger monster than the ones she had fought before, she didn’t think. She was a Heartholder, and her Harmonizer was being threatened right in front of her eyes.
She might be a poor imitation of a person, but she had always been a damn fine weapon.
Launching herself at its side, she managed the cut two long gashes into it before it reacted, an arm coming down to swat her away while she was still in the air. She barely managed to jump through a shadow before it hit her dead on, instead being clipped hard enough to crack her annoyingly fragile ribs and send her sprawling. Camilla was quick to reorient herself, rolling out of the way of an energy blast, and was pleased to see it was now targeting her instead of 001.
Before she could throw herself forward again, a flash of light nearly blinded her, slicing directly through the monster and dissolving it into nothingness. An unfamiliar masked man had appeared behind her at some point, making her give a startled growl and jump away, placing herself firmly between him and 001, who instead of sensibly staying back had come and latched onto her arm.
Luckily, considering his obvious strength, the man seemed to have no intention of attacking. Instead, he smiled gently at her. “You’re hurt. The two of you need to get to the shelter.”
Camilla’s hand automatically went to her side, continuing to observe him with less wariness and more curiosity. This was the first time a human had intentionally protected her, and even expressed concern for her well-being. As a Heartholder, she was always meant to be at the front, taking any damage before it could reach those behind her. After all, her pain wasn’t real, and her injuries would heal quickly. The only concern a weapon needed was over whether it could fulfill its purpose.
Devotion chuffed happily in the back of her mind, frantically wagging its tail and urging her to get closer to him. Obviously she wouldn’t do that, so she ignored it. She also ignored the chorus of other heartspirits acting like fools in her mindscape.
The man didn’t seem offended by her lack of response. “Here, if you go two streets over and turn left at the sign, the shelter is straight ahead. I can only escort you part of the way though.”
Camilla decided to trust him. It definitely wasn’t because of the spirits, this was a purely practical choice. She realized her tail was wagging, and forced it still. That could be a sign of tension or anxiety, not necessarily happiness or excitement.
“Meimei, you aren’t leaving are you,” 001 demanded softly, tone anxious. Camilla blinked in surprise and shook her head, unsure what had caused that question. Perhaps she was just insecure from all the changes?
“I’ll stay as long as you and 002 want me to,” Camilla stated gently, carefully patting the girl’s dusty head. “Hopefully he’ll be waiting for us at the shelter.”
Neither spoke to the man accompanying them. He seemed oddly content to just watch the two of them as they huddled together. Camilla wasn’t sure exactly what was going on with him, but he didn’t set off her instincts. If anything, her instincts like him too much, as she had to once again stop her tail when it started to wag.
001 noticed the movement, a strange look coming across her face as she looked at her tail, the Camilla’s face which had her usual default smile, then the unfamiliar man. The man looked back at her and blinked innocently.
In the next moment, the shelter was just about to come into sight, so he stopped walking. Camilla almost continued on without pause, but in the end she couldn’t help but hesitate. She blamed the noise Devotion, Affection, and Hope were making.
“Thank you,” she said stiffly, barely turning her head enough to glance at him before quickly continuing to walk before she could see him properly. Damn that was pathetic. She truly didn’t understand what was wrong with her.
Luckily she didn’t have long to dwell on it, as when they saw the shelter, they also saw 002 pacing outside it. He looked as though he was about to start searching for them through the currently being invaded streets if they hadn’t shown up right then.
Before she knew it, Camilla found herself and 001 enfolded within his arms, his grip tight enough to make her cracked ribs burn. She gently patted him on the back, having gained some confidence in offering genuine comfort to these particular humans.
“Don’t worry, jiejie didn’t get hurt, and I can heal quickly,” she soothed in her softest voice, making him finally pull back to stare at her with reddened eyes. Then he turned to 001, looking her over to reassure himself though he trusted Camilla’s word, then met 001’s eyes.
“Meimei got hit hard in the side, I don’t know what happened before we met though,” she stated, utterly unprompted while Camilla watched them in bewilderment.
002 sighed softly, then gently stroked her head, fingers lingering around her wolf ears. “Alright, good job for not hiding your injuries.”
Camilla’s smile was unchanged, but her ears noticeably perked up and her tail began to wag. Though, a moment later, both features disappeared as she returned to her fully human appearance, fur disappearing and hair once more being leeched of all color.
They were finally free, and as okay as could be expected under the circumstances. Then, she had even been praised for obeying a simple command. She truly didn’t think she could be blamed for Devotion’s reactions.
002 laughed breathily. “Come on, lets get inside before our luck runs out. Stay close to me, both of you, got it?”
“Don’t worry,” 001 smiled confidently, “I have her.”
Camilla had no idea where they got the idea that she was the flight risk here. “I’m not going to leave if you don’t want me to.”
002 curled his lips as he tucked both of them under his arms. “Ya know, it’s the way you always have to add that last part that gets us concerned.”
Camilla still didn’t understand, deciding to give up on it. She wasn’t human, how could she understand what humans felt?
Better to just relax now while they could. Once this invasion was over, they would have to figure out what to do next. Camilla wasn’t certain about how this world’s society operated, but hopefully they had some form of care available for children without guardians. Preferably not the kind run by people like her old company.
Whatever it was, they could figure it out. After all, they wanted to keep her for now, and she considered herself a fairly valuable asset if it came down to it. Hope encouraged her to think things would be easier from here on out.
At the very least, she would do her best to protect them both.