Work Text:
It was no wonder that Jayce and Viktor’s scientific background often bled into the way they handled their relationship. How could it not? The constant drive to assess, analyze, and output as many new inventions and discoveries as possible had some notable side-effects— mainly, the unfortunate outcome of hard-wiring their brains to never accept the easy answer. Why ask a question when you could experiment?
When his partner was unusually quiet at his desk, one of his hands idly twirling a strand of dark hair between his fingers, Jayce did what he did best. He ran through the relevant variables:
Did Viktor still have an appetite for sweetmilk? Ambidextrous as he was, was he writing with the hand he favored? Was his accent more or less pronounced? All observations that seemed mundane in the extreme, but they weren’t to Jayce. He had grown to speak Viktor, to understand his silences just as well as his comments.
He prided himself on how well he could decode any of Viktor’s various -isms, and especially when the other man was about as averse to confrontation as they came. Jayce couldn’t blame him. A cruel upbringing in the Zaunish slums had taught him the importance of keeping his grievances close to his chest. That wasn’t something you could easily unlearn, and why would Jayce force it? This worked just as well.
He would have been a bit surprised to realize that Viktor did the exact same thing. They orbited around each other constantly, cataloguing and filing away details for later in a smooth dance before they truly realized what they were doing. It was this talent that had granted them spots as two of Piltover’s most prestigious inventors— no wonder it was hard to turn it off, indeed.
Besides, Jayce knew his conclusions weren’t always perfect. If they were, he and Viktor wouldn’t have danced around each other for years. He was confident of that; Jayce had been enamoured with Viktor from near the moment he had laid eyes on him. Handsome, witty, devastatingly intelligent, with a rewarding half-smile that made appearances when he was secretly pleased? Jayce had been an instant goner, and he knew it.
So it was with all this in mind that Jayce had noticed a shift in Viktor lately. Maybe the word ‘shift’ was still too strong. He and Viktor liked to tease each other about being precise with their scientific jargon, so it nagged at Jayce that he didn’t have an accurate name for it. In any other circumstance, he would simply have asked Viktor’s opinion.
But this was a more delicate situation. Shift, change, fluctuation— whatever you wanted to call it, Jayce’s point stood. Things had been different lately, and a clear answer wasn’t coming to him.
He had a hard time pinpointing it. Viktor still leaned into all his touches. The hand on the small of his back, the brush of their fingers when he passed over a tool, the warning touch on his arm when he passed behind him. He still made dry remarks about some of the more inane Council demands, and he still consumed an evening glass of sweet milk like no healthy person possibly could. When you put it on paper, nothing was wrong.
...and yet that was wrong, because Jayce would bet any Councillor (really, he sort of hated them) that something was amiss. It was in the way that Viktor seemed to be operating within a split second delay. How he had begun to wince reflexively, even on a good pain day. It wasn’t Viktor’s temperamental body— he had been walking short distances without his cane lately, and only the best days could yield that outcome. All of his normal tells, like decreased appetite or tired smiles, frequent slips into his native language or slight clumsiness, were completely missing.
Every sign that Jayce had meticulously catalogued over the years was absent, and that scared him more than he would like to admit. How could he claim to be a good partner if he couldn’t even determine the source of the problem?
These worried thoughts had no trouble clouding his mind. He blinked, realizing belatedly that he had been starting at the same section of the schematic for ten minutes. Fuck. In this state, he wasn’t getting anything done.
What did one do when an experiment wasn’t yielding the results they hoped? They tweaked a variable. Tried a different approach. Jayce would be damned if he didn’t try.
He pushed his chair back from the wrap-around work space. He let it creak, giving Viktor an audible signal that he was up and about before he moved. That was another thing that only astronomical amounts of time and patience with Viktor had taught him— loath as the other man was to admit it, he was sensitive to being snuck up on. He liked a warning.
Jayce was happy to oblige. It was a reward, anyway, to see the way that Viktor’s slightly guarded shoulders dropped whenever he saw it was Jayce approaching him. He liked— okay fine, maybe more than just liked— how it was a reaction only he could elicit. Viktor was his. He was Viktor’s. Simple as that.
Jayce needed to take only a few steps to where Viktor was sitting. His cane was propped beside him, his amber eyes narrowed in concentration as he crosschecked many of the papers and notes scattered in front of him. He was glaring at one differential equation like it was personally offending him.
Jayce’s hands found the back of the chair as he shifted to lean over it, resting his chin on the top of Viktor’s head. “How’s it going?’ he asked. Naively, he dared to hope that the very open-ended question would somehow prompt a confession of exactly what was wrong.
Viktor shrugged, one of his Zaun-born ‘ehh’s’ that high society hadn’t yet managed to beat out of him. He still made no move to leave Jayce’s hold.
That had to mean something, right?
Jayce opened his mouth. Paused. Closed it. Viktor couldn’t see his face from this angle, so his indecision would go unnoticed. How did he bring up something that he didn’t even fully understand? It was just— something was clearly not right— and he couldn’t stand the thought of Viktor shouldering it alone.
An open-ended question wouldn’t get him anywhere, but a close-ended one would only put him on the spot. He needed some sort of neutral ground, and so used to simply feeling his way through things, he didn’t know how to find the discretion required for the task.
Viktor hadn’t picked his work back up yet, perhaps happy for the small break. They were in a sort of silent interim, each waiting for the other to speak. It was an opportunity, and Jayce was determined to take it.
“H—” He didn’t get more than the front-end of a single letter out, barely an exhalation of breath, before sharp steps echoed down the hallway.
Viktor stiffened under him. Their lab had its own wing, courtesy of Piltover’s immense appreciation for their contribution to society (and the council’s pockets). A visitor was imminent.
“They will want updates on this,” Viktor sighed. Pale hands darted out to collect the mess in front of him into a passable semblance of organization. His foot was already tapping, sleeves rolled up his forearms betraying the streaks of grease he didn’t have time to clean.
Jayce couldn’t deny the sudden wave of despair that crashed over him, seemingly out of nowhere. The moment had been dashed across the rocks of their obligations. He would have to try again later.
A knock sounded at the lab doors. Too soft to be rude but too firm to be anything but a clear demand of entrance.
Jayce felt the mask slide into place as he headed for the door. It was the kind of expression he knew Viktor hated just as much as him, that smile that managed to be promising and complacent while not quite making it to his eyes either.
Not to say that they hated their jobs or anything. The council had backed some of their largest strides for equality, funded their dream with the enormous amount of money simply required to keep it alive. It was just… when the demands were ceaseless and the meetings long, the comments employed engineered to pressure just as much as praise, it was hard not to feel jaded. The song and dance they were expected to perform— even with its real results— was very much a performance.
“What a surprise,” Jayce said pleasantly as he opened the door. The dignitary in front of him nodded with a slight tilt of his head, barely acknowledging the formality.
“Yes, well, they thought it prudent to check in,” he said. “As you know, there’s several new parameters that need to be incorporated into your work as soon as possible. Have you changed the diameter of the accelerator? It must be modified, as you can see…”
It felt like the drone of ceaseless demands and specifications never stopped. Jayce nodded along at the appropriate intervals until his neck ached. If it was as urgent as they said, why wouldn’t the man stop talking so he and Viktor could actually get to work on it?
The next four or five hours passed in an absolute slog, and Jayce could have cried of relief when the sun outside of the lab’s gargantuan window finally set. He just wanted to go home. More than that, he wanted Viktor by his side. The day was finally done, and hopefully its troubles with it.
Uncharacteristically, Viktor was already straightening up his things across the lab. It was in direct contrast to the fact that not a day went by where Jayce didn’t have to bodily drag his partner from the lab… and yet here he was, almost ready to leave.
Jayce had to admit that it wasn’t necessarily an unwelcome change of pace, but it was yet another piece in the confusing puzzle that was stressing him out to no end. Maybe he just needed to not look this gift horse in the mouth.
“Ready to head home?” Jayce asked. He had less to clear up when he hadn’t even been working at his space half the day.
Viktor nodded. Jayce couldn’t blame him for the lack of a verbal reply. He was tired— they both were.
The walk back to their apartment was traversed in what Jayce hoped was companionable silence. The light of the streetlights lit their way, casting the door of their apartment in a pretty glow. It was larger than what either of them preferred but significantly smaller than the penthouse the council had near demanded they take. With how much time they spent at the lab, it was often (regrettably) just a place to sleep anyway
Jayce inserted the keys with one hand, the other securely wrapped around Viktor’s waist. It gave him something to lean on after a long day in one position, and Jayce was more than happy to help alleviate his pain in any way he could.
They all but stumbled inside together. Viktor kicked his shoes off with little ceremony, nudging them to the side with his foot when they became an obvious trip hazard.
The casual way that Viktor did so, not bothering to keep up in their home the rigid sense of decorum that Piltover expected of him, filled Jayce with a deep sense of affection. Viktor was always so careful with his behavior, taking pains to make sure that he never fell into the actions that would be unfairly reflected back onto his Zaunite heritage. He didn’t have to do that here.
Jayce pulled Viktor into his arms before he could really think better of it. The motion was followed by a split second feeling of hesitation, but he shouldn’t have worried. Viktor went along with the motion easily. It felt so good— so right--- to have Viktor’s lithe form pressed securely against his own in the safe space of his arms. The urge to protect him, to guard him from all harm and stand in the way of any approaching obstacle or fear, had never truly left him.
Jayce could pinpoint the exact moment that was as if the strings holding Viktor up had been cut. He sagged against him, leaning his whole weight against Jayce’s form.
He once again couldn’t help but gravitate to the resting place of Viktor’s mess of hair, resting his cheek there in a more intimate version of their interrupted contact in the lab. At last, no one could barge in on them now.
“I—” Jayce hummed to himself, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. It was less pressure on Viktor like this, to speak his words out into the silence without them strictly standing face-to-face.
“How have you been?” he asked softly. “Really. I know things have been… a lot lately.”
Viktor shifted against him so he could look him in the eye. He had to tilt his face up considerably with the absence of space between them. Sometimes it took Jayce’s breath away, having VIktor so close, able to see the way that his irises were a mix of two separate colors, infused with hazel and amber..
“Fine, all things considered,” Viktor said. “I am not the one made to constantly talk with the people invading our lab,” he pointed out.
Jayce sighed. “Yeah, they’ve been incessant lately.” It was a subtle redirection on Viktor’s part. He was masterful at reassigning the attention, checking in on Jayce when all he wanted was to check in on him.
“But everything’s alright?” he dared to push.
Viktor nodded, the motion making his hair brush in front of his eyes endearingly. Perhaps this whole thing had really been all in Jayce’s head. After all, he really couldn’t blame Viktor for not being enthused about the constant visitations and pressure that had been placed upon them lately.
“I’m glad,” Jayce said truthfully. He shifted to pull Viktor impossibly closer, reveling in the contact before he tilted his head to place a soft kiss against Viktor’s lips. The other man became near putty in his hands. Viktor sighed into the contact as those striking eyes fluttered shut.
Selfishly, Jayce wanted this to never end, to steal Viktor away and never let him go… but when he pulled back to catch his breath and express this, there was a complicated sort of expression on Viktor’s face. He didn’t look sad exactly, nor discontent, but there was something in his gaze that made Jayce’s heart clench. Had he upset him just now?
He knew Viktor was tired… and with that came the guilt. He shouldn’t be placing his own need for near-constant touch on someone whose body never ceased to protest after a long day of work, surely not without an expressed prior interest on Viktor’s part. Maybe he was too good to say no to him, and Jayce— Jayce needed to man up and place Viktor’s needs before his own.
He squeezed Viktor’s arm once before reluctantly forcing himself to let go. The expression he had caught on Viktor’s face was already gone.
They both headed to their bedroom without further distractions. Jayce shrugged out of his chemical resistant work-wear into a soft tank and sweatpants while Viktor sat down on their bed to unclip his leg brace. Jayce ached to do it for him, but he battled down the urge. As well as he thought he knew the limits and care of Viktor’s body, Viktor knew it better. It was a lesson he clearly needed to learn.
When all of their night routines were successfully accomplished, though, Viktor seemed to hesitate. One of his hands twitched— a nervous tic— before he abruptly stood up and headed to the bathroom.
Jayce didn’t follow him— even he knew that that would be overbearing— but he couldn’t help but watch him go…
and wait.
And wait.
Twelve minutes later, he stared at the light bleeding from under the bathroom door as if it would give him answers. It had really been an unusually long time for a simple bathroom visit, especially when Viktor had already gotten ready. Was he looking through his med collection for pain relievers? He hadn’t heard the familiar click-clack of pills jostling together. Neither did the shower turn on or the sound of drawers shutting meet his ears.
Was Viktor… hiding from him? No, that was stupid. There was no reason to think that. Jayce was busy convincing himself that that wasn’t the case when the softest of sounds split the silence.
It was so soft he almost missed it— surely would’ve missed it, if it hadn’t been for the admittedly anxious way he was straining his ears. It sounded bit-off, as if it had been stopped before it even began. Jayce winced. It couldn’t have been more than a sudden exhale of breath and the faintest hint of tone, dissolving into the air as quickly as it had come.
Was Viktor in pain in there? Or… or something else? Perhaps something had taken him by surprise, shocked a small sound out of him, and he didn’t want Jayce to hear?
He didn’t get any more time to ponder it. Viktor appeared at the threshold of the bathroom not a second later, climbing into their bed with no comment as if he hadn’t ever been gone.
Jayce knew not to push, not after how he had already checked in with him twice, and so he didn’t let himself do it a third time. He wanted to cuddle, to reach out at least, but anything prolonged might be too much.
He settled for a whispered goodnight and a soft touch against Viktor’s shoulder before he settled a small distance away from him in the bed. He was— he was there. In the wings, if Viktor needed him.
They had been through so much already; some temporary miscommunication couldn’t break them now. Jayce would figure this out. It would all be okay.
He let his eyes finally flutter shut to the tune of those vaguely motivational thoughts. One thing was abundantly clear— he would rather amputate a limb than lose Viktor. That kind of conviction wouldn’t let them fall apart.
—
Jayce’s tentative conclusion that everything would return to normal was so, so wrong.
In fact, the very opposite had happened— things had progressed into some sort of routine. Every night now, like clockwork, Viktor would silently disappear into the bathroom. He never gave any explanation or comment before his departure, and at this point Jayce was becoming too scared to ask.
He would sit on the bed and wait for him instead, not content to fall asleep until Viktor was beside him. He could even delude himself into believing that he occasionally heard the same sound as the one he had encountered that first time a week and a half ago.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, Viktor would exit like nothing had happened. He would crawl into their bed, touch Jayce’s elbow in greeting, and fall asleep.
If that was it, Jayce could have felt a lot more at ease… but that wasn’t it. The same things that he had noticed before, the fatigue and the mutedness and the way Viktor didn’t reach out anymore, had all continued too.
It was tearing him up inside. No, that wasn’t strong enough. It was consuming him, and his work was suffering for it.
Jayce walked to the summons for the council meeting with barely contained dread. It felt dangerous, like a risk, to leave Viktor by himself. Without his presence to remind him, would Viktor even want to be around Jayce at all?
He had started having stupid dreams. Dreams where Viktor left in the middle of the night, where every night he went into the bathroom to rehearse just how to articulate to Jayce that it was all over. Dreams were Viktor was getting sick, curling over the toilet and vomiting up everything he had eaten that day, but he wouldn’t tell Jayce because that would worry him.
Jayce was already very fucking worried. He just wanted Viktor to rip the bandaid off, but he couldn’t do it himself and risk hurting him. How much longer could they both pretend nothing was wrong?
The councillors must have noticed his slightly less than perfect exterior, because they largely left him alone until the starting of the meeting, engaging in small talk with each other instead. Jayce couldn’t even say he was upset about it. His mind was (very predictably) somewhere else.
The actual contents of the meeting were nothing new. The same old tired spiels were given, thinly veiled barbs delivered to each other in neatly packaged words. Jayce nodded along and gave the appropriate updates when asked directly. His heart was not in it today. What hope did he have of ‘fixing the world’ if he couldn’t fix what was going on between him and Viktor?
It was a pessimistic way of looking at things, surely something Viktor would have reprimanded him for, but Jayce was just so tired. The thought only made him feel worse, because he knew that whatever he was feeling, Viktor undoubtedly felt it to a greater degree. It was his sadness, or upset, or something that was in turn affecting Jayce. He couldn’t lay claim to experiencing it all first.
When the meeting finally adjourned, Jayce couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He barely managed some nods of farewell as he made a beeline for the exit. It wasn’t lost on him that they never mentioned Viktor by name.
The click of his shoes was muffled as he headed down the hallway back to their lab. He had spilled a chemical on them that had slowly been eating through the sharp edges of his soles, and he had yet to replace them. It sort of made him feel like a ghost.
Jayce couldn’t predict what happened next. When his hand closed around the familiar doorhandle, giving it a turn, it was met with… resistance.
The lab door was locked.
It was so unexpected that Jayce could only stare at the door mutely as if it would somehow change. He had left for a meeting, and Viktor had locked him out of the lab.
But— but maybe that wasn’t right, his brain reasoned. Things had finished a bit sooner than expected, so Viktor couldn’t have known that he would come back early. What Viktor surely did know is that they rarely locked the lab, really only when they left for the day or when they were conducting an extremely delicate experiment.
The council had told them as much. They expected near-constant access to the facility that they had so graciously provided for them, interruptions or lack of privacy be damned.
For Viktor to lock the door anyway, to lock himself in the lab, was unusual as a conscious decision in the extreme.
Jayce wavered outside the door. He couldn’t hear anything from inside, but that was no surprise. Their neighbors had long gotten tired of the intermittent bangs and whirs and insisted that soundproof walls be installed. Viktor could be throwing a party in there for all he knew.
He hesitated a second longer, trying the door handle once more just to make sure that it was well and truly locked.
It was.
Jayce shifted from foot to foot before he raised a hand to knock twice. “Uh, Viktor?” he called awkwardly. “It’s me. I got out of the meeting early.” The special soundproofing of the walls functioned like a one-way street, letting sound in but not out. He waited, his hand still raised before he anxiously clasped it behind his back with his other hand. Had Viktor heard him?
He was just enduring the social agony of whether or not to knock again before the locking mechanism of the door unclasped with an audible click. Despite this, it didn’t swing open.
Well. There was only one way to find out what was really going on. Clearly, Viktor was at least willing to let him inside; he could start there. Jayce gave himself the time to take one more breath, collecting his thoughts, before he squared his shoulders and pushed inside.
The first thing his eyes landed on was Viktor’s empty chair. For a second it threw him for a loop, because Viktor was almost always sitting there or standing at the blackboard. That was where his gaze went next, before it crossed to the other side of the room and finally located its target.
Viktor was sitting on their lab coach, looking more than a little ruffled. A pink flush dusted his cheeks that Jayce hadn’t seen in weeks, and his hair was a bit messier than usual. His back was ramrod straight, one of his legs tucked behind the other at the ankle in an unusually proper position. The threads of the shitty throw pillow beside him were being picked apart as if his life depended on it.
For a moment, they did no more than look at each other. There were whole worlds of thought occurring behind Viktor’s eyes, and Jayce wasn’t privy to any of them.
“The door was locked,” Jayce ventured tentatively.
Viktor somehow managed to look even more ill-at-ease. He abandoned the throw pillow. “I’m very sorry about that. I imagine it wasn’t what you expected coming back from a meeting.”
Jayce nodded along because it’s true, he wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t offended either. Just really, really confused. “That’s alright. I’d just like to know… why?” The sentence tilted up at the end in vague resemblance to a question. He knew the door wasn’t because of an experiment. Their equipment was still as clean and organized as it was left last night, nowhere near the workspace Viktor wasn’t at either.
This encounter felt raw at the edges, and he wasn’t sure why. Viktor spoke into the silence. “I simply needed some… privacy.” Even his voice sounded different. Slightly hoarse.
Now Jayce was getting somewhere, even if it was starting to confirm his worst fears. Viktor was tired of his presence, of all of it. He wanted to be alone. He’d been driven to boarding up their shared safe space from the intruders, and maybe that included him, too.
He should apologize. Drop it. That’s what he intended to do, but it’s not what came out of his mouth.
“I sort of figured,” he confessed. “But, uh, why in particular if you don’t mind me asking? People are always coming into the lab, but we rarely lock it.”
He’d gone and put Viktor on the spot now. Maybe he would forgive him, when he saw that Jayce was just as scared. He’d asked a question that didn’t seem like it had any easy answers.
Viktor’s beautiful eyes widened slightly. He was registering Jayce’s anxiety, the way he was trying to hold himself not too far but not too close, and perhaps that was what prompted him to answer honestly.
Jayce’s eyes flitted to the sudden motion of Viktor’s throat as he swallowed. He had the nonsensical thought that he was glad he’d locked the door behind him after Viktor let him in.
“I needed to…” Viktor paused before he finished the sentence. The tone was quieter, so sincere it hurt. “I needed to touch myself.”
Jayce’s jaw dropped. His stomach flipped, his ears immediately going hot. It was like the sudden, unexpected breakthrough in an experiment where everything fell perfectly into place.
The strange look on Viktor’s face when he had kissed him a week ago, the disappearances to the bathroom every night with the softest of muffled sounds before he could lay in the same bed with him. The exhaustion on both of their parts coupled with Jayce’s belief that maybe Viktor hadn’t wanted touch, leading to a lack of physical intimacy— Jayce could barely stop himself wincing— for three weeks now.
Gods.
Fuck.
No wonder Viktor had been tired, extra aware of his body’s aches and pains, accepting Jayce's touches but not offering his own. He must have thought that Jayce had had enough of him, or was simply too tired for more, and the caring, compassionate, analytical man that Viktor was, he hadn’t wanted to add to the weight of Jayce’s own burden even at the expense of his own pain.
Viktor hadn’t been rejecting his touch. He had been yearning for more and striving to content himself with what he got.
These thoughts managed to rush through Jayce’s mind so fast it made him slightly dizzy. Viktor was watching him, his face carefully blank of any condemning emotion. Jayce took an unsteady step forward. He couldn’t miss the way that Viktor didn’t stiffen, exactly, but looked at him with a gaze that seemed to sharpen and focus.
Jayce’s hands found the side of Viktor’s face, cupping it from his higher vantage point as Viktor looked up at him from his spot on their crappy lab couch. “Viktor—” Jayce breathed. “Viktor, I’m so sorry.”
A small mark appeared between Viktor’s brows. “I— me masturbating? It is not too unfortunate…” He trailed off when Jayce shook his head emphatically.
“No— I— not that.” Jayce couldn’t bear the thought of Viktor not understanding. Now that he knew what the problem was, he wouldn’t leave him with it for another second. “V, I knew something was off. I didn’t know how to bring it up and I was scared of forcing you into a conversation. Everything has been so much lately, and I thought— well, more than that, it terrified me— I thought maybe you had realized that you didn’t like me or my affection as much as you thought. But I’ve had it all wrong. I’ve been— I’ve been neglecting you, leaving you high and dry when I wanted to be with you most…”
Viktor seemed struck near dumb by the glossy sheen of anguish over Jayce’s eyes, the way his words and face were painted with regret. It was a revelation.
“Jayce,” he whispered. His hands closed over the warm palms on his face. “Jayce, it is not all your fault. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t tell you directly, and a conversation was clearly in order.”
“But you shouldn’t have to,” Jayce countered desperately. “I know that sex helps with—” He cut himself off, his thoughts moving too quickly to stay in one place for too long. “You were in pain.”
He wasn’t exactly wrong. They had both discovered, early on in their relationship, that somehow coaxing immense amounts of pleasure out of Viktor’s body could help with the chronic pain and aches. It was a sort of reset, reminding him that his body was still capable of beautiful things, too.
Viktor had the power to bring such things into being as well. Setting aside the ample misunderstandings, how had he possibly thought that Jayce would not want to answer, to happily answer, his most intimate needs and wishes?
The man above him looked positively tortured— it was time to put an end to that. Viktor’s hands pressed more firmly against the ones cradling his face, almost as if he was anchoring himself in his desire to speak up. It took so little to look deeply into Jayce’s eyes. “Kiss me,” he entreated.
He could see the exact instant that the command registered, how Jayce’s pupils dilated and his breath seemed to stutter. He wanted, no, needed, to make it right… and Jayce was a willing servant at the altar of his god.
Viktor was pushed backwards onto the couch with a fervor that nearly made him swoon, carefully but quickly settled back against the plush cushions as Jayce hemmed him in from all sides. The mouth that met his own communicated a dizzying mix: passion and gentleness, apology and forgiveness, but most of all— raw, unadulterated want.
Jayce kissed him like he was starving, like he would die if he didn’t take the air right out of Viktor’s lungs, and Viktor could almost believe it was true. His shaking hands landed on Jayce’s shoulders with bruising force. They tugged him in, pulled him forward with all the strength they could muster so that he could have Jayce’s broad chest pressed against his own.
He could feel Jayce’s rapid heartbeat this way, the heavy rise and fall of his breath. Viktor could do no less than revel in it. He deepened the kiss, opening his mouth so that Jayce could lick inside and intertwine his tongue with his. He had started to forget how Jayce tasted, and that was a tragedy so serious he hated to even consider it.
Viktor’s lungs burned more with every passing moment. He didn’t remotely care, not when his hands twisted in the short hair at the nape of Jayce’s neck. Let this be how he died. Fuck, how he had missed this.
Jayce pulled back at last, instantly diving into the crook of Viktor’s neck and shoulder. Air made it into his lungs in shuddering gasps, and he couldn’t suppress the involuntary whine at the loss of Jayce’s mouth on his.
“I know, baby,” Jayce said into his neck between the sloppy kisses and, Janna above, licks that he was giving him. “You needed to breathe.”
Viktor shivered at the pet-name. Some of Jayce’s nicknames seemed to be reserved mostly for sex or its early stages, and that always managed to knock the wind out of him.
He craned his neck to the side so Jayce could get better access, and the other man groaned in appreciation. “How did I let you walk around without any of me to take with?” Jayce lamented, sucking a particularly crimson bruise into pale skin. “There has to be something wrong with me; there must have been.”
Viktor flailed an arm around until he hit the lever that turned the lab coach into a pull-out bed. They had slept here plenty of times, but never had sex on it. It seemed that was about to change.
Jayce laughed into his neck, strong arms bodily picking him up for the briefest of seconds so he could complete the unfolding mechanism and set them both on it. It didn’t take any time at all with two determined minds extremely interested in accomplishing the task.
Viktor went from his position backed up against the couch cushions to being sprawled out across the mattress. Jayce climbed on top of him instantly, his eyes shining. “Gods, you’re stunning,” he murmured. Viktor lifted a hand to cup his cheek, and Jayce turned his head slightly to kiss it.
It seemed to break the spell of whatever temporary reverie he had been in, because it didn’t take a second longer for Jayce to reclaim his mouth and begin working on the buttons of his waistcoat.
Viktor groaned into the touch as he did his best to contribute, both of them working to rid him of his shirt as quickly as possible. Jayce’s was soon to follow, and he threw it off the bed with what could only be interpreted as mild spite.
Then their chests were pressed together, skin-to-skin, and the feeling was absolutely euphoric. Viktor was sure that he was shuddering. The most ungodly of sounds were leaving his mouth, but Jayce was making it his personal mission to coax out and swallow every single one.
He hadn’t gone completely soft yet when Jayce had interrupted him at the locked door, and now his erection was back with a vengeance, his groin positively throbbing. It was so much better. Gods, it was so much better. His own hand was the feeblest of substitutes for Jayce Talis.
Jayce ground into him purposefully, rocking his hips back and forth as his hands traveled across Viktor’s chest, waist, hips. “I want it off,” Viktor gasped into Jayce’s lips as he pawed at both of their pants. “Take it off—”
Jayce nodded so vigorously Viktor worried for the integrity of that beautiful brain of his. He lifted his own hips so that Jayce could rid him of his pants easier, and Jayce kicked out of his own pair in quick succession.
Viktor was a weak man— his eyes were instantly drawn to the thick erection straining at Jayce’s briefs, a glistening wet spot at the top even more promising. It was hard to look away. He pressed his hand to the bulge before he could think better of it, and Jayce bit back a choked swear, his hips stuttering at the sudden pressure.
“Fuck me,” Viktor breathed. He knew Jayce wouldn’t refuse him, not with that look on his face. “I want you, Jayce,” he added, because he was prepared to say much more, to beg if that was what it took to make it happen.
“Anything,” Jayce swore. “Whatever you want. Fuck, you’re so gorgeous.” Their boxers joined the growing pile on the floor in short order. Jayce looked positively entranced, his eyes so full of desire that it might have been a little alarming outside of the present context. Viktor could tell there was literally nothing Jayce would rather be doing in the present moment.
Warm hands left his body for only a moment, the smallest of frowns appearing on Jayce’s face. “Lube,” he said. “Do we have any lube in—”
Viktor’s hand shot out to prevent his departure, tugging him back to face him. “Don’t need it,” he said truthfully. He only needed to spread his legs to prove the point.
“Oh,” Jayce gasped in abject wonder. “When the door was locked, and I interrupted…” Viktor had indeed been touching himself, but in a bit more involved manner than simply jerking himself off. He had anticipated quite some time while Jayce was at the council meeting, and that had devolved into doing his best to finger himself open with his limited resources.
Jayce muttered a couple words under his breath to himself, something that sounded suspiciously like ‘so perfect’ and made Viktor blush even more intensely. Jayce waited for an eager nod before he slid a thick finger into him.
He was still being careful, too careful, and Viktor ground his ass into Jayce’s hand to encourage him to get on with it. “I can take another,” he breathed. “Maybe even three.”
Jayce hurried to oblige, finding his mouth again as he pushed another couple fingers into him, already curling and scissoring them to finish working him open. Viktor keened when they brushed against his prostate. It was this sort of dual stimulation— Jayce’s tongue in his mouth and fingers in his ass— that drove him absolutely insane.
“Like this, V?” Jayce spoke against him. He moved from spreading his fingers to thrusting them in and out, and Viktor’s back arched when he realized Jayce had added his pinky to the mix on the newest thrust.
“Yes, yes, just like that—” he affirmed breathlessly. Jayce couldn’t help but beam at the confirmation, completely happy to watch Viktor hiss and squirm with pleasure. His cock hung heavy and untouched between his legs, visibly twitching when Viktor made a particularly ecstatic sound, and well, he couldn’t have that—
“I’m ready,” Viktor said.
Jayce’s fingers stilled. Normally he would protest a little more, keep going to make sure that the slide was as smooth as possible, but they were both getting desperate.
He withdrew them at last, squeezing Viktor’s waist encouragingly as he repositioned himself. Viktor felt he had never wanted Jayce so intensely in his life. He waited with breaths that seemed to catch in his chest, watching as Jayce lined himself up.
Jayce looked at him then, with such obvious adoration and love, that Viktor almost had to look away. It was staggering, sometimes, realizing just how far Jayce would go for him. Just how much he cared for him, crushed to pieces if he couldn’t get Viktor to recognize it.
He needn’t have worried. Nobody could make Viktor feel more beautiful, more wanted, than Jayce. Even the dry spell hadn’t been a lack of interest on either of their parts. It had been miscommunication, and some passionate sex was about to do its part to resolve that.
“Zlato,” Viktor whispered. The name fell from his lips like honey. It was easier to switch back to his native tongue when the language of Piltover failed him.
Jayce lifted one of Viktor’s hands to kiss the knuckles. It was such a gentlemanly gesture for a moment that was the farthest from proper, something Viktor found hopelessly endearing. Then, he began to push in.
Viktor’s moan stuck in his throat, punched right out of him as he felt Jayce go farther. Inch by inch, he was forging into him. It was such a sharp mix of pleasure-pain.
He could feel the walls of his body acclimating, molding around Jayce’s cock in a way that made him feel raw and split-open.
There must have been tears in his eyes, because Jayce’s thumb swiped across the top of his cheeks comfortingly. “Alright?” He said softly. Viktor locked his legs around Jayce’s waist in answer, pressing his heel into the small of his back to encourage him deeper.
At last, at last, Jayce’s pelvis was pressed firmly against Viktor’s ass. He was all the way in. Maybe Viktor was trembling, he couldn’t really tell. He only felt so full, and getting what he had yearned for after three weeks was very overwhelming in the moment.
Jayce curled over him to press their foreheads together. A Zaunite gesture, and one that he had eagerly adopted.
He stayed there for a moment, allowing him to acclimate until Viktor started rocking his hips in little bursts of encouragement.
Large hands settled around his waist, caressing it gently. “V,” Jayce said so tenderly. “My V.”
He didn’t make him wait any longer. Jayce withdrew, pulling almost all the way out, before he plunged back into him.
Viktor gasped. The contact was electric, and Jayce didn’t stop. He thrust in and out of him with precision, powerful thighs working hard to drive himself in all the way to the hilt.
“Fuck,” Jayce groaned raggedly as his hips snapped forward, sinking his cock into Viktor’s willing hole.
He couldn’t help but writhe beneath Jayce as his fingernails scored pretty trails of fire down Jayce’s back. He knew that his pale, heaving chest must have been flushed a beautiful pink as Jayce drove into him, and now he was specifically angling to hit his prostate again and again.
“Oh god, Viktor—“ Jayce moaned. He shifted positions to lessen the stress on Viktor’s leg, withdrawing only momentarily to lay down beside him.
“Jayce,” Viktor cried out reprimandingly as Jayce slipped out of him. He couldn’t bear to stop halfway, not now that his hole fluttered at the loss, the little furl puffy and sensitive.
Jayce kissed his shoulder, nuzzled into his neck with shaky breaths, and Viktor realized his intention. He wrapped an arm around him, his hand splayed over Viktor’s chest as he pushed back into him from behind.
The sudden return of their bodies together once again punched a stuttering moan from each of them. The intimate position of laying on his side, Jayce’s chest pressed to his back, was a bit like spooning, and it turned out that was just what he craved.
The new angle was perfect for Viktor to grind his ass backwards deliberately, feeling the way Jayce’s cock shifted inside of him. When Jayce whimpered, it was with his warm breath stuttering over Viktor’s shoulder. The earlier interruption was immediately forgiven.
“Sluníčko—” Viktor entreated just as Jayce finally moved. He withdrew only to sink into him again, hitting those deep places that only he could. Viktor could feel him in his fucking guts.
He scrabbled to drag the tan hand on his chest down to his abdomen, his whole body curling from the weight of Jayce’s thrusts.
“Can— can you feel yourself?” Viktor managed to gasp. Sure enough, there was a slight protrusion from where Jayce was inside of him. When Jayce pressed his hand down, it was heaven.
He could feel the protrusion of his own cock through Viktor’s lower stomach— Viktor’s inner walls were being pushed against Jayce from both sides— and Jayce’s movements could only drive him forward into the large warm hand that anchored him, simultaneously nudging him back into the hard line of Jayce’s body.
The sounds pouring from Viktor's mouth were noises he hadn’t even known he was capable of making— breathless, high-pitched moans and whimpers that cut off and stuttered only to bleed into each other once again. He was only becoming more vocal, as he often did when things progressed.
“Jayce— oh g-god, right there—“ Jayce obeyed the words like a command, maintaining the exact same pace. He was barely keeping himself together, every limb of his body shaking from the pleasure and exertion.
“Just like that, baby,” he gasped into Viktor’s shoulder. He could feel the rapid beat of Viktor’s pulse, and he chased after it like a man starved.
“You’re so perfect, beautiful, stunning,” Jayce rambled. He didn’t have to think before he spoke, every word was true.
Viktor rolled his own hips, meeting Jayce’s thrusts halfway.
The feeling for Jayce was like nothing else— tight, wet heat, taking every inch of him and yet still parting for more. He was forging a space inside of him, carving out a place for himself that would never, could never, cease to be.
Viktor’s head fell forward as Jayce slammed into him. Every stroke rubbed against that sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him, and Jayce could find its location in his sleep. He was aiming for it, driving into him from the perfect angle to hit it dead-on, again and again and again—
Jayce’s words did not stop with his movements, a constant mix of praise, compliments, and Viktor’s name leaving his lips. It was just as sincere as it was unintentional, the way Jayce’s internal filter lost all of its fears and hesitations when he was inside of him.
Every thought was a shaky string of words pressed into his shoulder between hot kisses. Viktor craned his head backwards to meet Jayce’s own in a bruising kiss.
The angle was a bit awkward, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Jayce’s mouth on his, his tongue invading Viktor’s mouth to taste every part of him.
They kissed like they wouldn’t get another chance, like they were trying to crawl into each other’s skin and never let go. When they had to breathe, it was with their foreheads resting against each other as they panted the same air.
Viktor keened when Jayce stroked his face adoringly even as his hips snapped forward to bury himself deeper, as far as he could possibly go.
“Look at you—“ Jayce breathed, his eyes tinted with awe. “You take me so w-well, you’re perfection incarnate—”
The fact that Jayce could manage even three syllabled words when he was pounding him into the mattress was beyond him.
Jayce shut his eyes suddenly, burying his face in Viktor’s shoulder. He didn’t stay idle, already laving his tongue over Viktor’s neck to leave another crimson mark.
“Why— why’d you—“ Viktor didn’t even have to finish the question. Jayce understood him instantly, as if they had entered some mental plane where no thought was hidden from the other.
“C-couldn’t keep looking at you like that or I’ll come,” he gasped between wet kisses to his neck.
Viktor’s whole body shuddered at the words. The visceral image of Jayce inside him and unable to look at him without climaxing, fighting off his own pleasure in order to fuel Viktor’s own—
“F-feels good?” Jayce questioned as if Viktor wasn’t clay in his hands, a willing form for him to lovingly mold as he saw fit.
“So good,” Viktor affirmed shakily, and Jayce moaned with approval. “Only you. Only you can touch me like this, make me feel like this—” Jayce whimpered at the words, the praise burrowing into his skin and making his very bones sing.
They were entering that cosmic stage of sex where time fell away, where words failed them but their bodies were perfectly in tune.
Tears carved glistening trails down Viktor’s face, running down into the crease of his neck where Jayce made his home as he inhaled the salty taste of his skin.
He couldn’t have explained why he was crying, only that in the moment, it somehow made more sense than anything ever had.
Viktor choked out a gasp as Jayce’s relentless thrusts halted only for his pelvis to pillow Viktor’s ass as he ground his hips in tight circles. There was no temporary loss of a rhythmic withdrawal, not with Jayce now pressed up against his prostate, his cockhead rubbing back and forth, back and forth, never leaving, never retreating—
“J-Jayce,” Viktor gasped frantically. “I can’t— I’m going to—“
Jayce’s whole body shook as if Viktor’s words could somehow arouse him even further, tearing through him like lightning.
“Go ahead, baby,” Jayce whisper-choked into his neck. His own self-control was hanging on by a single thread. As soon as Viktor crossed over, he would fall too.
Viktor whimpered in return, his face scrunching up as he unintentionally began to hold his breath in stuttering impulses.
Jayce knew Viktor’s body like his own, could feel his impending orgasm somehow creeping up on both of their bodies at once—
“Breathe, baby, breathe,” he managed to gasp through the haze. “It’s ok, just let go, I’m here, right here—“
Viktor’s chest was spasming from a lack of air, but somehow that made it all sharper. He shook, finally letting a wave of air come flooding in— and his mouth opened in a silent scream as his orgasm crashed through him with staggering force.
Jayce was gone, Viktor’s orgasm instantly triggering his own. Viktor clenched down around him as he became impossibly tighter, his come spattering up to coat Jayce’s knuckles from where his hand was shaking on Viktor’s stomach.
Jayce’s final thrust was a desperate bid for the momentum required to seat himself as deep in Viktor as possible, his cock throbbing rhythmically as he covered his inner walls with white, praying, hoping that his seed could find a home in the parts of Viktor that even he couldn’t yet reach.
Viktor keened at the sudden motion as the waves of his orgasm continued to crash through him. Jayce curled around him, his thumb tracing a shaky trail back and forth across the sticky expanse of his stomach as he let him coast on the pleasure.
When Viktor fell back into his body, Jayce was there, pressing slow open-mouthed kisses to his neck and the underside of his jaw.
Viktor leaned back into the touch appreciatively. Jayce’s constant affection never stopped after either of their orgasms— no, they both craved the aftermath just as much, that muted buzz of leftover bliss as the sweat cooled on their bodies and the evidence of their passion was still warm between them. After so long, it felt like coming home.
“Thank you,” Viktor breathed into the quiet.
“You don’t need to,” Jayce replied sincerely, the words muffled from where he spoke into Viktor’s skin. He raised his head so that he could look at Viktor directly, admiring the glow of his complexion and the pretty spark to his eyes. “I never want you to feel as if I don’t want you.” The hands on Viktor’s waist tightened for emphasis. “Sometimes my love for you feels like the only constant.”
Viktor blinked very fast, because he refused to cry yet again. The ease with which Jayce could express such deep emotions and feelings never failed to stun him. More than that, it healed something deep inside him. A life in Zaun meant he knew more than most the ways in which information could be weaponized and turned against you. Jayce gave him his heart like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“I love you, too,” he replied, a weight leaving his chest as he said it. There was a slight wobble to his voice. He never stopped wanting to say so, but sometimes the words just wouldn’t come.
That didn’t have to be the end, though. He was determined to work at letting Jayce in, at trusting him to hold the sacred parts of him as well as he always did. He had a hunch that after all this, Jayce felt very similarly.
The feel of Jayce’s smile at his soft declaration was more than enough.