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When Tanrak arrived at the old storage room, his heart was pounding in his chest.
His recent conversations with Kongdech had left him restless, overthinking things more than he should.
Lately, everything concerning Barth had become impossible to ignore. Every encounter, every accidental brush, every gaze held just a fraction too long made something grow inside him that he no longer knew how to contain.
He worried about being discovered. It terrified him, even.
But every time his eyes met the taller boy's, everything else faded away.
Only he remained.
It had been irresponsible to come here. And he was still being irresponsible now.
His mind was beginning to sink back into that whirlwind of anxiety and guilt when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, holding him firmly. His body tensed immediately.
But as soon as he felt Barth's warm breath brushing his neck, followed by a soft kiss pressed into the space between his neck and jaw, he closed his eyes, yielding to the gesture with quiet satisfaction.
He turned to look at him.
Without saying much, they both ended up sitting on one of the old couches shoved in the corner of the storage room.
This place was almost always empty. No one had any reason to come here; it only held old mattresses, worn-out blankets, and objects forgotten by time. The only chance of someone showing up was if they needed something from here... or during the night rounds of the priest in charge of checking the area before lights out.
But tonight was different. It was movie night.
That meant the priest wouldn't show up until all the boys went to sleep.
And because of that, Tanrak could allow himself to relax.
Just a little.
Barth settled against him, resting his head on his shoulder.
"I'm tired," the older boy mentioned in a deep whisper.
Tanrak offered a faint smile.
"Me too... we walked a long way to get here."
Barth let out a small breath.
"I mean..."
He took a deep breath before continuing.
"I'm tired of hiding."
Tanrak looked away and let out a sigh. Then he looked back at him and brought a hand to his hair, stroking it gently.
"So... is it worth it?"
Barth seemed to think about it.
He hesitated.
"Not yet."
He adjusted himself on Tanrak's shoulder to look up at him.
"It's still not worth it."
Tanrak gave him a soft smile.
Even with the weight of that conversation, even feeling how the words sank deeper than he wanted to admit, he remained completely hypnotized by him.
To ease the tension, he leaned his face down and left a slow, warm kiss on Barth's forehead.
"Is it worth it now? Mmh?"
The older boy smiled.
He sat up until he was facing him.
Their gazes dropped from eyes to lips, and from lips to eyes.
Barth leaned in slowly, bringing a hand to the back of Tanrak's neck before barely kissing the corner of his mouth.
It was enough to draw a trembling sigh from him.
Tanrak closed his eyes as their noses brushed, both breathing the same air, suspended in that sweet agony of wanting to close the distance while simultaneously prolonging it.
Barth kissed the tip of his nose.
And Tanrak, feeling those straying lips on his face once more, pulled back just slightly, completely intoxicated by the closeness.
Trying to compose himself.
Trying to stop the inevitable.
Because every secret encounter, every stolen caress, every whispered word in the dark pushed him a little closer toward that desire that was impossible to ignore.
The desire to go further.
To stop holding back.
"Barth..."
His voice came out barely a whisper, low and breathless.
His eyes seemed to plead for mercy, begging him to stop touching him like that.
But his body was doing exactly the opposite.
He leaned in closer.
Barth couldn't contain himself.
He kissed him.
Not with the desperation of that first time.
This time it was slow.
Soft.
As if he wanted to memorize the taste of his mouth.
Tanrak responded almost on instinct, clinging to that moment as if he knew there would be no turning back after this.
When their lips parted, Barth leaned in again to seek another kiss.
But Tanrak stopped him, holding his head.
"Barth..."
He called his name again. Trying to stop him.
Even though their faces were still brushing, their noses caressing, their mouths breathing each other in.
And then, with an initiative that surprised even the older boy, the hand that had previously stopped him began to slide down slowly.
From his hair to his shoulder.
From his shoulder to his arms.
From his arms to his legs.
Until it stopped there, at his crotch.
With a slight tremble in his hand and the uncertainty of not knowing exactly how to proceed, Tanrak let himself be carried away by curiosity and that deep yearning to explore more of the other's body.
Barth let out a stifled gasp, a barely audible echo that faded between his lips at the sudden contact. An electric thrill shot down his spine as he tensed beneath the boy's hand. In the darkness of the storage room, his dark eyes locked onto his companion's, trying to find any trace of doubt.
However, upon seeing that mix of shyness and determination in the shorter boy's vulnerable gaze, Barth's fear of potential regret dissipated entirely, replaced by an undeniable urgency.
"Tanrak..." he murmured, his voice cracking, silently pleading in a whisper for him not to stop.
He closed the remaining distance between them to seek his lips once more.
"Is this okay?" he asked.
The older boy nodded and, covering the other's hand with his own, guided it inside his pants, where only the thin layer of his underwear separated the direct contact.
Through the thin cotton fabric, Tanrak felt the older boy's burning heat and racing pulse.
It was the physical proof of how much his proximity affected him.
He closed his eyes for a second, finally ignoring the rules and the guilt that always ate away at him.
In the gloom of that storage room, only Barth existed: his ragged breathing and the searing brush of his skin.
He moved his fingers slowly. He let himself be guided at first, but soon gathered the courage to set his own rhythm. His touch was inexperienced, but firm and loaded with intention.
Barth threw his head back and let out a hoarse groan that broke the silence. For Tanrak, hearing that deep, unfiltered sound was the greatest impulse; knowing he was causing that reaction motivated him to keep going.
"Tanrak..." Barth exhaled, surrendering completely.
With his gaze darkened by desire, the older boy grabbed Tan by the jaw and then tangled his fingers in his hair. He pulled him with force, shifting him until he was forced to sit straddling his lap.
The kiss that followed was rough, their tongues exploring every corner of their mouths, seeking each other desperately, savoring the adrenaline of finally crossing the point of no return.
As they kissed, Tanrak's hand slid back toward Barth's crotch, this time bypassing the barrier of his underwear.
Barth reacted immediately: he gripped the younger boy's waist and pulled him tightly against himself. The friction between them became constant, driving them to roll their hips on pure instinct, seeking more friction, more contact.
Without letting go, Barth slipped his own hand into Tanrak's pants. He pushed his way in with urgency and began to touch him directly, deliberately, and without an ounce of gentleness.
For the shorter boy, this was uncharted territory; he had never allowed himself to experience such a degree of pleasure, not even in the intimacy of his own touch. Now, under those large, rough hands moving without hesitation, he felt his resistance crumbling rapidly.
He tried to mimic the movements, the speed, and the way Barth stroked him, letting out a gasp when he felt the older boy's nails dig sharply into his waist as he picked up the pace.
The intensity of the situation left him speechless, unable to articulate what he was experiencing in that precise moment.
"Barth, stop... I..." he stammered, feeling on the verge of a breakdown, completely overstimulated and about to shatter.
He truly didn't know how else to describe it.
Barth, an amused smirk appearing on his face, forced him to maintain eye contact.
"Are you going to come?" he asked, amused and thoroughly pleased as he increased the rhythm.
"Barth... Barth..." Tan panted.
He dropped his head onto the taller boy's shoulder, exhausted, and completely ceased his own stroking of Barth.
To avoid losing his balance, he anchored both hands on the back of the couch, right beside the other boy. He clung to the frame tightly, closing his eyes as he felt every muscle in his body tense upon finally crossing his own limit.
With his chest rising and falling heavily in an attempt to catch his breath, the young man lowered his gaze. The evidence of the loss of control they had just shared was undeniable: Barth's hand and the fabric of both their shirts were left marked.
Feeling a sudden pang of shyness and a trace of fear over the mess on their clothes, Tanrak slowly looked up, trying to decipher the reaction on the older boy's face.
Barth looked completely satisfied; a half-smile played on his lips, causing the freckled boy to flush with embarrassment.
"You didn't...?" he asked quietly, trying to understand if the other had also reached his limit.
Barth softly shook his head.
Tanrak swallowed hard.
For some reason, that awakened something new inside him.
He didn't want it to end like this.
He wanted to see him lose control, too. He wanted to be the one to take him to that edge.
Driven by an impulse that surprised even himself, he adjusted his clothes with trembling hands and ended up kneeling in front of Barth.
The older boy watched him in silence, clearly surprised, but spread his legs to give him space.
"Do you know how to do this?" he asked, his voice lower now.
Tanrak shook his head immediately. But this time, he didn't look away.
There were nerves in his eyes, yes, but also firm resolve.
"I want to... I want to make you feel good. Teach me."
With a smooth movement, he brought one of his hands to Tanrak's hair, caressing the back of his neck as he guided him in silence, setting the limits and the rhythm of what he should do.
Tanrak followed his directions to the letter. Even with some clumsiness, he let himself be entirely guided while simultaneously trusting his instincts, learning what pressure and what strokes drew the best reactions from the older boy.
He wanted to see him undone, vulnerable, and he was achieving it with every passing second.
The muscles of Barth's abdomen tightened. His breathing became erratic and heavy in the stillness of the storage room.
The friction, the heat, and the devotion with which Tanrak surrendered himself to the task began to shatter all of the taller boy's defenses.
Barth threw his head back again, shutting his eyes tightly. His fingers gripped the younger boy's hair, pulling slightly to dictate a more demanding, deeper pace.
"Tan... Tanrak..." Barth growled, letting his name slip as a stifled, broken plea, exactly how the younger boy had wanted to hear it.
An intense shudder wrecked Barth's body, followed by a hoarse, drawn-out groan that announced he had reached his limit. He tensed completely under Tanrak's touch before slumping back heavily, releasing his breath in a trembling sigh that echoed off the empty walls.
Tanrak pulled back slowly. He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and looked up, feeling a deep wave of triumph at seeing him like this: his chest rising and falling uncontrollably, his eyes half-closed, completely surrendered to him.
Silence once again claimed the space, broken only by the sound of their ragged breathing as they tried to catch their breath. Barth looked down at Tanrak.
Without needing to exchange a single word, the older boy reached out an arm, pulling him up gently. He settled him by his side and drew him against his chest, wrapping him in a firm, protective, and exhausted embrace.
Amidst the darkness and the dust, with the heat of their bodies still pounding with adrenaline, they both knew they had crossed a threshold that could never be closed again.
But this time, Heaven can wait.