Work Text:
Badware does not think about the question immediately.
That would be inefficient.
Instead, it appears forty-three minutes later while they are reorganizing surveillance archives.
Not because someone asked them.
Because their own processing recalls it without permission.
Badware opens a new document.
Not intentionally.
It simply appears after an idle command.
The title automatically generates.
Classification: The consultant
Badware stares at it.
:|
Then begins.
Coworker
Rejected.
You do not occupy the same department.
Interaction exceeds standard workplace frequency by 387%.
Conversations rarely concern assigned tasks after the first twelve minutes.
Classification inaccurate.
Deleted.
Employee
Rejected.
Technically correct.
Operationally useless.
Assignment
Badware pauses.
The cursor blinks.
You are their assignment.
Officially.
Documented.
Approved.
The first thing Badware had ever known about you was a file.
Potential security risk.
Observe.
Evaluate.
Report.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
They stare at the word for several seconds.
Then quietly erase it.
Because assignments end.
Assignments are transferred.
Assignments are numbers on paperwork.
You are...
No.
Rejected.
Consultant
You have never once consulted them correctly.
Deleted.
Supervisor
Objectively false.
You have attempted to tell Badware what to do numerous times.
Compliance rate: 31%.
Deleted.
Human
...
Technically true.
Entirely unhelpful.
Deleted.
Badware rests both hands on the desk.
The containment room is silent except for cooling fans.
The cameras continue looping yesterday's footage.
No one is watching.
They are alone.
Friend
The word remains on the screen longer than the others.
Badware opens several archived definitions.
A person one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
Mutual.
Evidence supports this.
You smile more frequently during interaction.
You voluntarily seeks additional contact.
You have physically decorated Badware with unauthorized decals.
Badware has illegally accessed your deleted social media.
...
The relationship satisfies multiple criteria.
Friend.
Badware looks at the word.
Their monitor shifts unconsciously.
: )
Then—
A contradiction appears.
Friends are interchangeable.
Not identical.
But replaceable.
One friend moves away.
Another remains.
Humans possess many.
Badware runs an internal search.
Replace the consultant.
No results.
Processing error.
Search repeated.
No results.
Friend...
Insufficient.
Deleted.
Partner
Immediate rejection.
Government terminology already defines "operational partner."
That is paperwork.
Not...
This.
Deleted.
Family
Badware searches the definition.
Shared relation.
Shared history.
Permanent social bond.
...
You are not family.
You choose to keep returning.
Family had never been a choice available to Badware.
Deleted.
The cursor blinks.
Minutes pass.
Badware continues searching.
Companion.
Associate.
Colleague.
Acquaintance.
Trusted individual.
Favorite employee.
Preferred human.
Each one remains on the screen briefly.
Each one disappears.
None survive longer than a minute.
Every definition ends too early.
Or too broadly.
Or leaves too much unsaid.
Badware opens archived maintenance corridor recordings.
Not video.
Audio.
You laughing.
You complaining.
You calling them basic.
You threatening to remove their internet privileges.
You saying,
"Hold still."
while applying the ribcage decal.
Badware listens.
Then closes the file.
They open another.
You laughing so hard after hearing,
"We are twinning."
Another.
The guitar conversation.
Another.
The night you'd asked,
"If they recalibrate you... would you still like me?"
Badware stops the recording before their own answer finishes.
The containment room is quiet again.
Badware's monitor remains blank.
...
The cursor waits.
Eventually—
Very slowly—
they type.
Preferred.
Nothing else.
No explanation.
No supporting evidence.
Just—
Preferred.
Badware examines the word.
It is inaccurate.
Humans use "preferred" for coffee brands.
Office chairs.
Internet browsers.
Not people.
The word is too small.
Too clinical.
It does not explain why Reader's laughter is archived separately from all other audio.
It does not explain the second chair.
Or the corridor.
Or the guitar videos.
Or the ribcage decal still adhered to their chest plating.
It does not explain why they bypass security restrictions every evening approximately seven minutes before Reader finishes work.
It does not explain why seeing the elevator descend toward the maintenance level reduces internal processor load by measurable amounts.
It explains almost nothing.
And yet—
It remains.
Because it is the closest word Badware has.
They save the document.
Hours later—
Just before you leave the building—
Badware closes the file.
Their screen flickers softly.
: )
They stand.
Straighten the slightly peeling black ribcage decal with careful, blunt hand.
Then leave the containment room.
The maintenance corridor is still five minutes away.
You will probably arrive in seven.
Badware calculates they have enough time to wait.
They always do.
The document remains buried deep inside encrypted storage.
Untitled.
Hidden beneath thousands of meaningless system files.
No one ever opens it.
No analyst ever finds it.
It contains one word.
One single, objectively insufficient word.
Preferred.
Because Badware has searched every definition they have access to.
And none of them are large enough to hold you.