Chapter Text
Saturday, 19:46
“Gyuvin, are you almost ready? We’re leaving in five.”
Shit. Gyuvin flings himself out of bed, eyes still groggy with sleep. A quick glance at his phone shows that his attempt at resting his eyes for five minutes had somehow turned into a nearly three-hour nap, leaving him with a solid four minutes to get ready. Nice going.
To make matters even worse, he also catches a glimpse of a message he’d much rather not have seen.
Eomeoni
Hello. Have you gotten your exam results yet?
Let me know.
He swipes away the notification, ignoring the nauseating feeling left in its wake. Instead, he turns his attention to the pile of clean laundry that’s been lazily dumped on top of his desk chair for the last few days, groaning at his own disorganisation as he riffles through it to fish out the first pair of jeans he can find.
“Almost done, hyung,” he shouts back at Hanbin, stumbling slightly as he rushes to pull on his trousers.
Stupidly, he’d pushed this party to the back of his mind, hoping that if he forgot about it, it just simply wouldn’t happen. But alas, object permanence unfortunately doesn’t apply to events, much less those that Gyuvin wasn’t involved in planning.
In reality, it probably wouldn’t make a difference if he showed up or not, not when he can’t even remember the name of the guy whose birthday it is. However, he had promised Yujin he would go with him, and quite frankly, he can’t be bothered to deal with Gunwook and the others hounding him if he doesn’t show up.
At least it’s an opportunity to empty his brain for a night. And a party on a boat does sound kinda cool.
“The taxi is round the corner, hurry up!” Yujin's irritated voice cuts through his thoughts.
“I’m coming!” Gyuvin shouts, quickly spritzing some cologne onto his t-shirt. After a fleeting glance in the mirror to confirm that his appearance is somewhat acceptable, he flings open his bedroom door to be met with two very unimpressed faces.
Sensing Gyuvin’s flusteredness, Yujin rolls his eyes. “You forgot, didn’t you?”
“Of course not.” Gyuvin avoids his judgmental gaze, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table. “I was just taking my time.”
Hanbin is clearly unconvinced, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure nothing is going on? You know you can talk to us.”
Not this again. “I told you already, I’m fine–”
A horn sounding from outside interrupts him.
Saved by the bell, he thinks as they file out the door. Gyuvin loves his roommates, he really does, but he can’t muster up the mental capacity to deal with all of their questions right now. Despite knowing very well that his mind has been elsewhere for the past few months, it isn’t something he wants to hash out when his only goal for the night is to get out of his head.
Saturday, 23:04
“Your seven o’clock, she keeps looking over at you, dude.”
Gyuvin exhales, indulging in the floaty sensation washing over him as he passes the joint along to Yunseo. The party was actually better than expected, taking place on a small yacht docked at the jetty near the coves, far enough from the nearest string of houses that they shouldn’t have to deal with a noise complaint. A fair few people had shown up, most of whom Gyuvin doesn’t recognise, besides the odd person from class or dance. Best of all, the overpowering mix of alcohol, weed and aggressively loud music was enough for him to actually be enjoying himself for once.
He peers over his shoulder, spotting the girl Seungeon was referring to. Ash blonde wolfcut, big eyes, long legs accentuated by her heeled boots. Even from the first glance, Gyuvin knows she’s pretty. That much is hard to miss. But, as usual…
“Caught you looking.” Gyuvin snaps out of his thoughts, realising the girl had taken his staring as an invitation to join him and his friends.
“Oh,” Gyuvin clears his throat awkwardly, “sorry.”
“It’s alright, I’ll allow it.” She smirks, squeezing in next to Gyuvin and reaching out towards the joint in Gunwook’s hand. “Can I?”
“Go ahead.” Gunwook passes it, clapping a hand each on Seungeon and Yunseo’s shoulders. “You guys finish it off, we’ll be over there,” he says with a wink.
Not this again, he thinks, shooting daggers into Gunwook’s back. Gyuvin knows he means well, but the only reason he’d even shown up tonight was for his friends, not this. Unfortunately for him, their incessantness towards trying to get him some action was never-ending.
The girl splutters next to him, taking a deep inhale of fresh air. Gyuvin smiles sympathetically. He’s been there before, albeit a long while ago. “First time?”
She nods sheepishly, passing the joint back to him. “I may have just wanted a reason to speak to you. You know, other than you staring me down just now.”
Gyuvin smiles, taking a quick hit and letting the calming haze spread through his body. “Well, according to my friends, you were actually staring first.”
“Ah… you got me.” A faint blush spreads across the girl’s cheeks, illuminated by the fairy lights on the canopy above them. “I’m not usually the type to approach people like this, but…”
“But I was simply too handsome to pass up on?” Gyuvin says jokingly, despite being somewhat aware of the fact he’s rather gifted in the looks department. Not that he ever usually acts on the attention it gets him – he's never been particularly interested in hookups in the way that his friends are, but the substances currently flowing through his bloodstream are telling him to at least entertain it tonight.
She gives him a once-over, kohl-rimmed eyes sizing him up. “Something like that. Not to inflate your ego or anything.”
Gyuvin chuckles, the disdain at the forced interaction rapidly dissipating. She seems sweet, he thinks, maybe it would be different with her?
“I’m Gyuvin. What’s your name?”
“Harin.” A soft hand reaches out to shake his, perfectly manicured fingers feeling out of place in his own.
“Well, Harin,” he shuffles closer, trying to recall what his friends would usually do in these situations. He settles on stretching an arm behind her on the sofa. “I’m glad you came over.”
“Me too.” Harin leans back into his arm, gently nodding towards the remainder of the joint in his hand. “Can I try again?”
Gyuvin shakes his head, feeling bold. “Let me.”
He takes a deep inhale before creating a tunnel with his hand, attaching the other side to Harin’s mouth before exhaling. She takes it better this time, maintaining eye contact with Gyuvin through dark eyelashes as she breathes out the earthy smoke. Before he can register what is happening, lips are moving against his own, and he has just about enough sense left in him to remember to kiss back. He can taste the remnants of the weed along with a hint of cherry. Lip gloss, he assumes. Harin smells sweet, and the sensation of her lips against his is pleasant in combination with how out of it he’s feeling.
But, as always, underwhelming. That’s all he can think.
Just as the anxiety begins to hit him when Harin’s lips start trailing down his jaw, Gyuvin hears a series of retching followed by faint splashes in the water below them. Curious, he peers across and is shocked to see a familiar boy with his head over the side of the boat.
“Oh shit…” he mutters, pulling away from Harin abruptly. “Sorry. Yujinie?”
The boy in question pulls his head up. “Gyuvin-hyung,” he slurs, swaying slightly before proceeding to throw up once again.
Gyuvin turns back to Harin, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry, that’s my friend, I’ve gotta…” he gestures vaguely towards Yujin, panicking.
Harin looks taken aback for a second, then shakes her head. “It’s fine, go look after him.” She pats him on the shoulder before getting up herself, looking slightly dejected. “It was nice meeting you, Gyuvin.”
He gives Harin an apologetic smile before rushing over to Yujin, looping an arm around the boy’s waist, the sight of him sobering Gyuvin up quickly. “Hey buddy, I thought you were with Hanbin?”
Yujin, looking extremely pale, shakes his head. “He’s with Hao,” he slurs.
Gyuvin rolls his eyes. “Of course.”
Their housemate may be one of the nicest people on the planet, but one sight of his boyfriend and he’s distracted for the whole night. Gyuvin makes a mental note not to trust Yujin to him at these sorts of things again.
Nonetheless, he shoots Hanbin a quick text before turning his attention back to Yujin, the younger boy looking extremely worse for wear. “Let’s get you home.”
Wednesday, 9:58
The days following the party had been relatively uneventful, despite the raging hangover that the three roommates had collectively shared the day afterwards. Hanbin had returned early on Sunday morning, extremely apologetic and promising never to leave their youngest like that again, no matter the distraction. Yujin may be old enough to drink now, but he’s still not experienced enough to warrant being unsupervised at parties. Not in their eyes, at least.
The new semester starts up on Monday, and with that comes exam results. Luckily for Gyuvin, he passes his last module with flying colours. Even with his slightly… unethical methods. But it was only one time, and clearly no one noticed, so–
“Gyuvin, just a moment.”
His teaching assistant, Hao (the same Hao who is dating Hanbin - small world), pulls him aside at the end of his cinematic themes module review, an unreadable expression on his face that Gyuvin can’t quite seem to decode, despite how well he knows him. He waits until everyone else has vacated the room before speaking.
“Look, I’m just gonna cut straight to it.” Hao clears his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I know you didn’t write that essay.”
Gyuvin’s chest tightens, heart pounding in his ears as the sudden adrenaline makes his vision shaky.
Oh Gyuvin, you’ve really fucked up now. His mind spirals. This was supposed to make it easier…
Hao’s voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. “...there’s been a rise in it at the moment, so everyone has been on high alert, getting the TAs to check over every submission and– Gyuvin, are you alright?”
Hearing his own name brings Gyuvin back down to Earth. “Am I getting expelled?” He asks, eyes glistening with unshed tears, breathing unsteady.
Hao smiles sympathetically. “Breathe, okay? Binnie said you’ve been going through some stuff–” Gyuvin opens his mouth to interrupt, ready to protest whatever Hanbin has said, but is stopped by a firm hand from Hao. “I don’t know the details, but I know you’re not a cheater, Gyuvin,” he winces, “...at least not usually.”
“I’m not. It was just one time and only for one section, I just had so many exams all at once and I couldn’t keep up,” Gyuvin rambles. “I’m so sorry, I–”
“Let me finish.” Hao cuts in. “I’m not gonna tell Professor Lewis about this.”
“What?” Gyuvin dabs his eyes with his shirt sleeve, still trying to get some control over his breathing. “Why… Why would you do that? Won’t you get in trouble?”
Hao shakes his head. “They aren’t gonna check again now that the grades are out. I didn’t flag it when I checked over it and I’m not gonna flag it now.”
Gyuvin’s tears turn to those of relief, grasping Hao’s hands between his own. “Thank you, thank you…”
“It’s alright. Hanbin wouldn’t forgive me if I got you kicked out, even indirectly.” Hao comfortingly pats him on the shoulder. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. You won’t have me to cover your ass if there’s a next time.”
Gyuvin nods frantically. “Never again, I promise. Thank you, Hao.”
Hao smiles, followed by an expression of realisation. “Speaking of Hanbin, actually… he mentioned to me earlier that you said no to participating in my dissertation study. How come?”
Oops.
Despite being a teaching assistant for one of Gyuvin's film studies modules, it’s merely an extra credit passion project for Hao. The guy is practically a genius, taking a class completely unrelated to his own degree as an elective and acing it so hard that the professor asked him to be his assistant the following year. All whilst undertaking a masters in Geosciences. Gyuvin would be in pure awe if he wasn't so jealous of how he could juggle it all, and a (disgustingly) successful relationship.
He'd immediately written off taking part in Hao's study when Hanbin had asked him the day before, even cited coursework and dance as the reason why he was too busy to commit three weeks of Friday evenings to it. But now, with Hao doing him such a lifesaving favour and his boba eyes boring into his soul, he really has no choice.
“I’ll make time. When does it start?”
Friday, 16:53
Determined to earn back some good karma after his academic mishap, Gyuvin not only arrives early for the meeting, but manages to rope Gunwook into joining him as well. Even if it’s going to cost him a meal at the end of each session for the inconvenience.
“So, I'm thinking malatang?” Gunwook suggests with a smug expression.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you want, bro.”
The pair make their way into the small lecture hall, taking their seats towards the middle. Hao is already there with his co-researcher, Taerae, mingling with some of the other early comers, including Hanbin and one of his friends - Matthew, Gyuvin recalls. They each fill out their personal details on the forms on their desks before dropping them in the box at the front of the room.
Returning to their seats, Gunwook elbows Gyuvin in the side. “Hey, isn’t that the girl from the other night?” He whispers, cocking his head to the front of the room.
Gyuvin follows his gaze and finds that Gunwook was unmistaken, it’s definitely Harin. Interesting timing, given that he’s still feeling some lingering guilt about having to leave so abruptly at the weekend. Despite not being particularly interested in the idea of a random hookup, Harin had seemed like a nice girl, and he knows he must have seemed like a dick for running off without a proper goodbye.
“What even happened with that?” Gunwook asks, reading his mind.
“I told you, Yujin was throwing up everywhere so I had to take him home.”
Gunwook rolls his eyes. “I know that, idiot, I mean did you get her number or anything? You deserve some love, such a pretty face going to waste,” he jokes, pinching at Gyuvin’s cheeks.
“Get off me.” Gyuvin swats his hands away. “No, I didn’t have a chance,” he lies.
Realistically, he knows he could have given her some form of contact before he went home, and whilst he had been preoccupied with Yujin, he couldn’t chalk it down to just that – the way things had been headed at the party had caused him more panic than enjoyment to think about.
“Well, now’s your chance, she’s looking our way.” Gunwook smacks him on the back before turning to chat to Matthew, leaving him stranded. Realising it would look a lot worse if he just ignores her, Gyuvin swallows down his lingering discomfort and moves to take the empty seat by Harin, who has abandoned her conversation with her friend in the process.
“Well, fancy seeing you here,” she smiles, leaning back in her seat. Her pale hair is up in a ponytail today, delicate strands framing her face. “Did you and your friend make it home alright? I wanted to check in, but…” she trails off poignantly.
Gyuvin looks sheepish, guilt washing over him again. “Yeah, we did, thanks. Yujin’s not really learnt how to handle his drink yet.” He laughs nervously. “I’m really sorry about having to leave you like that.”
Harin waves him off. “Nah, don’t worry, I didn’t take it personally. You seemed a bit overwhelmed. Didn’t expect to find you here, though.”
“Yeah, I didn’t really expect to be here myself.” Harin raises an eyebrow at him. “Hao is my roommate’s boyfriend, he roped me into this," he clarifies. It was a half-truth, at least.
“Oh, the guy you were helping at the party?”
Gyuvin shudders, violently shaking his head. “No, God, no, Yujin is just a baby,” he exclaims. “No, my other roommate, Hanbin.” Gyuvin cocks his head to where Hanbin is sitting at the opposite end of the front row, as close as he could possibly be to Hao’s desk and currently making eyes at the other boy as he sets up his materials. Gross.
Harin laughs at his outrage. “Got it. A baby who is old enough to be so drunk that he was throwing up off the side of a boat?”
“He’ll always be a baby to me,” Gyuvin pouts, thinking back to the days when Yujin was still in braces, eagerly hanging around him for tips on how to improve his dancing. “I practically raised him.”
She giggles at him. “Cute.”
Flustered, Gyuvin is quick to change the subject. “How come you’re here, then? Not exactly the most interesting way to spend a Friday night.”
“Agreed,” Harin rolls her eyes, “but Hao is actually my upperclassman course buddy. And a damn good one at that. I couldn’t say no to him.”
“It’s the puppy dog eyes, right?”
“Right!” Harin laughs. “Small world then, huh?”
Gyuvin can’t argue with that. “Seems that way.”
Looking him up and down for a moment, Harin stretches out her hand. “Gimme your phone.”
“Huh?” Gyuvin is confused but complies anyway.
Harin taps at his screen for a few seconds before passing it back to him. “Text me if you feel like going out sometime. No pressure.”
Gyuvin glances down at his phone to see the new contact, Harin Seo. Despite her outward confidence, he can tell that Harin is nervous, her acrylics tapping onto the arm of the chair. God, he would really look like a jerk if he didn’t at least try to see this through.
Deciding to push himself out of his comfort zone, he sends a quick message, hearing the ping of Harin’s phone immediately afterwards.
gyuvin kim - guy from party :)
He can see the way her face subtly lights up at his text. “You didn’t really have to clarify–”
“Everyone!” Taerae’s loud voice cuts Harin off. “Please take your seats, we’re about to start.”
Gyuvin turns back to Harin, pointing back over his shoulder at his desk. “I should probably…”
“No worries. Speak to you later, guy from party,” she says with a smirk, squeezing his hand. Gyuvin silently thanks Taerae for his timing, the situation once again becoming overwhelming despite its innocent nature.
God, get over yourself. It’s never going to get easier if you don’t try.
With a final goodbye, he makes his way back to his seat, where Gunwook is watching him expectantly. “So…?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I got her number.” Gyuvin cuts Gunwook off with a hand when he sees his mouth open wide. “Don’t overreact.”
“I wasn’t going to overreact!” He rolls his eyes at Gyuvin’s deadpan expression. “I’m just happy for you, okay? Sue me for wanting to see my best friend in a happy relationship.”
Gyuvin’s heart softens at that. He knows that Gunwook means well with his encouragement, and maybe the push from his best friend is what he needs to finally get over himself.
Feelings are supposed to develop over time anyway, right? Putting in the effort with Harin will pay off in the end.
“Welcome, everyone! Thank you all again for coming, you’re doing us, and our degrees, a hell of a favour by being here,” Hao starts, bowing to the crowd and earning some laughs. “In today’s session–”
His introduction is interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open. “You made it just in time, take a seat,” he says, nodding towards the empty desks on the front row.
Gyuvin turns his attention from doodling on his worksheet to the latecomer, his breath hitching for a split second.
The boy looks to be of a similar age to himself, pale blonde hair standing out against the monochrome shades of his outfit – a grey button-up tucked into black tailored trousers which compliment his tall frame perfectly. He almost looks like he could be dressed for a fancy business meeting, if it wasn’t for the splotches of paint coating his right sleeve. That, and the tattoo stretching up the side of his neck, the gothic lettering of which Gyuvin can’t quite make out. Despite the distance, he can see the faint liner adorning his eyes, making them almost feline in appearance.
Gyuvin is vaguely aware that Taerae has started talking about what they’ll be doing today, but the words are background noise to him, his brain just telling him not to look away from the boy lest he might disappear.
Pretty, he thinks.
Wait.
What?
Friday, 19:35
The first session of the study had been easier than expected, followed by compensation malatang and beers with Gunwook, paid for from Gyuvin’s quickly depleting student loan. Admittedly, it was delicious, and some one-on-one time with his best friend had been much needed after his stressful week. As much as he loves Seungeon and Yunseo, Gyuvin feels a different kind of relaxation when it’s just him and Gunwook hanging out. Having known each other since their first week at university, immediately hitting it off at the dance society mixer and becoming best friends, Gyuvin felt like he could actually unwind a bit when they spent time together tonight. Even if that had meant them just sitting quietly for the most part, simply enjoying their food and each other’s company, it was nice not to have to put on a mask for once.
After waving goodbye to Gunwook and heading off towards his bus stop, Gyuvin’s thoughts unintentionally trail back to that boy from the study. He’d left right after the session had finished, so Gyuvin had seen nothing more than the back of his head for the hour that they’d spent there. Nevertheless, he couldn’t deny that there was something enticing about him, and he was intrigued to know whether he’d show up again next week. For now, his brain just keeps looping the same images of pale hair and feline features.
Pale hair and feline features.
Right in front of him.
Huh?
He blinks twice as he approaches the bus stop, convinced his stressed-out mind must be playing tricks on him, but no – the boy is there, sitting with a cigarette hanging from his lips as he struggles to get his lighter to work. Gyuvin can see a slight furrow in his brow, bottom lip jutting into a pout. Cute.
Seizing the opportunity, Gyuvin fumbles to open his jacket pocket, finally finding his own lighter to offer to the boy as he takes a seat beside him.
The boy looks confused at first, before registering what’s happening. “Thanks,” he says, offering Gyuvin a small smile. Lighting his cigarette, he takes a quick drag before turning back to him. “You were at Hao-ge’s meeting earlier, weren’t you?”
“I was.” Gyuvin nods, attention piqued at the honorific. “You know Hao?”
The boy gives a small noise of affirmation. “He’s my cousin. Hence why I’m spending my Friday evenings doing some boring study.”
Gyuvin’s eyebrows raise. Small world, indeed. “I didn’t know Hao had a cousin at the university?”
“I just transferred here,” he clarifies, passing the lighter back to Gyuvin. He tilts the box of cigarettes towards him in question.
“No, thanks,” Gyuvin declines.
The boy tilts his head. “You carry a lighter but you don’t smoke?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious.
“Hah…” Gyuvin awkwardly clears his throat. “Not that type of smoke.”
“Ah… gotcha.” He smirks, looking Gyuvin up and down as he exhales. “So, how do you know Hao, anyway? I’m assuming you must, otherwise you wouldn’t have been there. You don’t strike me as the geosciences type.”
Getting clocked immediately, Gyuvin laughs. “You’d be correct. I have a double major. Film studies and dance. Hao is my roommate’s boyfriend.”
“Shit, you live with Hanbin?” He raises an eyebrow. “What are the chances?”
“Small university, I guess…” Gyuvin takes in the boy’s appearance, sleeves even messier than when he’d seen him in the meeting only a few hours earlier. Some of the paint had even made it into his hair, patches of red tainting the platinum strands. “Art major?”
“Very perceptive,” he replies, dripping with sarcasm, but Gyuvin can see a faint smile on his face. “Second year.”
“Oh, me too–”
They’re interrupted from their conversation when a pair of headlights harshly illuminates the road in front of them.
“Well, that’s me…” the boy stubs out his cigarette, hauling himself up from the bench. “Thanks for the light…” he trails off, looking at Gyuvin expectantly.
“Gyuvin,” he supplies, trying to hide his disappointment at their conversation being cut short. “Gyuvin Kim.”
“Ricky.” He introduces himself, heading to the bus. Before he gets on board, Ricky turns back to meet Gyuvin's gaze once more “It was nice chatting to you, Gyuvin Kim. See you next Friday.”
Gyuvin watches the bus set off, taking Ricky along with it, as he vaguely registers something akin to excitement building up inside of him for the first time in months.
Next Friday.
Maybe signing up for this study wasn't such a bad thing after all?
Settling onto his own bus a few minutes later, his mind continues to replay his and Ricky’s interaction until he’s rudely interrupted by the faint ping of his phone from inside his pocket.
Harin Seo
was nice seeing you today!
do you want to hang out next week? :)
And with that, he’s swiftly brought back down to reality.