Chapter Text
Darkness, that’s all that Jeff could perceive. He was asleep for what felt like an eternity. Than suddenly he awoke to a crackling sound and felt some kind of cold liquid running down his body. Naked and confused, he stood up and looked around the room he was in. He was trying to remember, what happened to him and how he ended up here. He remembers being on vacation in Japan, somewhere around the Kyoto area. Than, it happened. A giant wall of Green colored light appeared over the horizon.
“Well, shiat!” said Jeff who had been drinking with some friends and was slightly inebriated.
“I don’t know what that is but it looks bad. Guess there’s no avoiding it than. At least I got to visit Japan before I died. If that’s light it’s moving incredibly slowly. I may have time to write my will or something. Ah, who am I kidding? This is probably happening to the whole country the whole world even. Who would I give my stuff to?”
Just like that, the strange light came. He couldn’t move, couldn’t even perceive the outside world. It was like being in a sensory deprivation chamber. These are his last thoughts before passing out.
“Well, I don’t think I’m dead since I can still think. If I don’t get out of here soon, I may starve to death. Although, I don’t feel particularly hungry. The logical thing to do would probably be counting the seconds. If I’m like this for even an hour or two I’d probably pass out. Hell, I could pass out any second. Not to mention, how would I even know exactly how long a second is. Over a long time, I could be off by days or even years maybe. Someone would have to be bonkers to count for that long without going insane. Well, no point in freaking out about it, I’m sure lot’s of people are crapping their pants right now though. I just hope a building doesn’t collapse on me and crush me. Good thing I’m outside I guess.”
And just like that, he was stoned. Literally encased in stone. Now he remembered nearly everything. Jeff was now inside a room with a pretty large monitor, and a lot of buttons and dials that were of unknown function to him. He observed what seemed to be some kind of strange toilet hooked up to a tank that looked like it hooked into some kind of generator. He looked over to where he was laying on the ground and saw a bunch of stone fragments. “So I was encased in stone. I don’t know for how long but I think I’m about to find out. What was that liquid I felt though?” He looked up at the ceiling and saw a robotic claw arm attached to the ceiling with a glass vial still in its claw hand. “So that’s how I got out, but why? And where am I? This looks like some kind of prison intake area. Shit! I should have been back at work. Oh, yeah. Society probably collapsed. That would explain why my clothes are gone, they rotted away. Or were they removed? How long was I out for anyway?”
A robot about six feet tall moves slowly toward the center of the room where the stone fragments lay. It is a box shaped machine that isn’t very pleasing to the eye and is basically a giant Rumba vacuum that sucks up all the stone pieces into itself. An arm slowly extends from the top of the robot up to the vial on the ceiling. It grabs the empty vial and the robot arm on the ceiling is reset so the robot on the floor can replace the empty vial with a full one. A voice comes through on a speaker in English, though with a pretty thick Japanese accent.
“Good morning, My name is Ukyo and I’m sure you have a lot of questions right now. I heard you speak to yourself in English, Don’t worry. You’re not in prison. This room was created to get everybody up to speed because a lot has happened since everyone on Earth was petrified. Today’s date is November 12th, 5756”
Jeff looked up at the camera.
“Don’t worry about the cameras, They only get turned on if there’s an issue.” says Ukyo through the speaker.
“How did you know I was looking at the cameras than!?” Shouted Jeff.
“I guessed.”
Jeff looked at the speaker, perplexed.
“So, what now?” asked Jeff.
“All will make sense in a few minutes but first Why don’t you check out those clothes at the back of the room. You can have one free outfit courtesy of the Yuzuriha Department store. After all, we wouldn’t want everyone to be walking around naked and this way people can choose what best fits their own style”
“What material are the clothes made of?” Jeff asks.
“You’re the first person to ask that, are you allergic to anything?”
“I just don’t like synthetic fibers, they irritate my skin which is sensitive.”
“The fabric for the clothes is made from a blend of hemp and cotton. If it’s not to your liking, you can always buy different ones at the Yuzuriha department store with Drago.”
“Awesome! Hemp is the fabric of the future! I don’t care so much what they look like, clothes like that would have been super expensive in the United States. Growing hemp had just been legalized back than but now I’m getting some awesome new clothes and they’ll probably fit me great too! Also, did you say drago!? What’s that!?”
“I’m sorry but we have to hurry this up a bit. Please watch this video produced by Nanami Film Corporation. But first, what was your name for our records?”
“Just put Dude.”
“Haha. Something tells me that’s not the name your parents gave you but if that’s what you want to go by now that’s fine. D-U-D-E, did I spell that right? You’re an interesting character, Dude. I wouldn’t mind meeting you in person but my job right now is to instruct you on what to do next. Please press the button in front of you and the video will play. It will print out a card so just keep that on you because that will be your ID. Nice meeting you, Dude.” said Ukyo.
Dude picked out some clothes to wear. A greenish white shirt, some khakis and a brown robe that really ties the outfit together. He than walks over to the screen like Ukyo told him and pushes the red button. It prints out a card with the numbers 420-6969-0.
A prompt on the screen reads “What is your date of birth?”
Dude realizes he could tell it anything as it has no way of knowing but decides to answer honestly, April 20th, 1996. He than is instructed to pose for a photo for his ID. Dude abides. A bunch of languages show up on the screen. Dude decides to select Japanese with English subtitles. The video plays. After the Namami Film Corporation logo, a flamboyant Japanese man appears.
“Hello, my name is Gen Asagiri and what you are about to watch is the uper say true story of Senku Ishigami. If it weren’t for him, we would all still be petrified right now. After the film, I’ll guide you through what careers are a good match for you after the collapse. If you’re a tourist from another country, you can board a ship back to your home country when we’re done here. Regardless of where your home country is, you can also apply to become a permanent member of the Kingdom of Science.”
This offer seemed very appealing to Dude.
“Well, Japan is great and all, or at least it was before all this bullshit happened. If only pot was legal, not that it was back home anyway. This society seems to value science way more than the crusty shit head politicians back home did. I’m actually free to choose my own path now. This is GREAT!” Dude said to himself.
A video starts playing on the screen and a narrator speaks
“On that day, every human on Earth was turned to stone.”
The Camera cuts to a person with long spiky gray hair drinking a Monster Energy drink while looking out a window.
“Is this supposed to be a dude, they look kind of, feminine.” thought the Dude who just rolled with it.
“Yuzuriha! There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while!” shouts a muscular Japanese man at a young woman with headphones standing in front of a large tree.
“What is it, Taiju?” asks Yuzuriha.
“What is that!?” Taiju screams.
“That’s the light that stoned everybody. The special effects are kinda crap but I can still understand what’s going on here.” Thinks the Dude, still watching as the light spreads.
“Yuzuriha! Stand in front of that tree! I’ll protect you!” Taiju shouts.
Another robot enters the room that Dude is in. This one is basically a popcorn machine on wheels
“popcorn?” says a robotic voice
“Is it dairy free?” asks Dude.
A familiar voice comes out of the speaker on the wall.
“It’s Ukyo again. The robot’s AI still needs some work. I forgot I didn’t ask about any food allergies. The popcorn butter does not contain dairy. It’s the same movie theater butter from the past. It’s basically butter flavored oil. Can you have that?”
“Sure, I’ll take some. Milk products just make me break out is all. Thanks.”
“You’re quite welcome.”
A robot voice comes out of the speaker again. “What would you like to drink? We have Senku Cola, Water, Tochu tea, coffee…”
“I’ll try a Senku Cola, thanks.”
The concession robot dispenses a bottle of soda.
“Ingredients: carbonated water, caramelized honey, lime juice…”
“Thanks robo-dude.” Dude said as he grabbed the soda.
Dude watches the rest of the movie and learns of Senku, Taiju and the other’s adventures. He learns of Ishigami village and the people there. And he learns about how Senku, starting from nothing managed to build a rocket and land on the moon in just a few years. The Dude was awestruck. Everything seemed so unreal to him.
“So this why man dude was just chilling on the moon and nobody noticed despite the fact that we were a space age civilization? And it did it because it wanted it’s batteries changed!? And Senku has it under his control because it got exited! That’s incredible!” The Dude thought out loud, and very loudly.
Gen than appears on the screen again. “So, was that an exiting story or what. Now it’s time for me to tell you about the jobs that are available here in the Science Kingdom. First, this video is sponsored by Nanami corporation, with subsidiaries in a wide variety of industries including banking, entertainment, hospitality, manufacturing and a lot more. The currency of the new world is the drago and you get 10,000 of them for free upon becoming a citizen of the Science Kingdom. Now it’s time for that career aptitude test. Byyyyyyeeeeeeeee!”
Dude takes the test and the results are printed out.
“It looks like I scored pretty high compatibility with computer programming as well as paleontology. That kinda surprised me. I wouldn’t mind starting my own vegan restaurant though. In this new world, I don’t have to do stupid bullshit to survive anymore. Well, I still have to work but the jobs are a plenty. I sure hope Nanami corp. pays well.” Dude says ecstatically.
Dude gets his new Kingdom of Science ID made and than goes to a job fair.
“Wow, is Nanami corporation the only company now? Lot’s of science jobs here, what seems like it would be easy?” Dude says to himself as he walks around.
He sees a booth with a chizzled man with short hair and glasses and another younger looking man with long blond hair and a slightly higher pitch voice sat. The sign read “Yo’s Security Squad” Now, the dude had experience working security before but was hesitant to return to the same line of work that had him so depressed before. Plus this booth didn’t seem too popular at the moment. The man with the glasses calls Dude over.
“Excuse me, sir. Do you have a minute?”
Dude looks over at them. “Hey, Kinro. He looks foreign, does this guy even speak Japanese?” said the scrawny blonde dude.
“Wakaru, nihongo ga dekiru.” responded Dude.
“So, you can speak our language. That makes things easier than.” Says the guy in the glasses.
“Just a little. I can barely read or right though. I can read at about a third grade level.”
“Yeah! Me too! We’re a lot alike in that regard. I can barely read at all actually.” says the blond guy.
“So, what’s your deal? And what are your guy’s names?”
The dark haired guy with glasses responds. “I am Kinro and next to me is Ginro.”
“Hi, I’m Ginro.” says Ginro.
“I get it, gold and silver! So you people are named after metals? Is that how they do names in the future!? That’s so cool!” Dude exclaims
“Now that you mention it, us Ishigami village natives are all named after minerals and metals.” Says Kinro.
A guy with spiky gray hair walks toward Dude from behind.
“So, you’re this Dude Ukyo speaks so highly of. The Name’s Senku.”
“Dude, so you’re the guy, man. Wait, you looked like a chick in that movie, man.”
Dude says in American.
Senku laughs hysterically for a minute than goes back to being serious.
“You are a funny person you know that. All I care about is skill though. You can somewhat understand Japanese and you seem to have some computer skills. You also seem to have a good 21st century understanding of science.”
“Ah yeah, you know. Dr. Doe’s chemistry quiz on hard mode and a lot of videos about evolution and geology got me exited.”
“Dr. Doe? Oh, that must have been a chemistry quiz on the internet back in the day.”
“Yes” the Dude replies in Japanese nervously as he looked Senku dead in the eyes.
“Okay, than.” Senku said awkwardly
“How would you like to be part of Yo’s security team? I just need one more to fill all the posts and I don’t wanna spend any more time than I need to so he can find a replacement for Kirisame and Moz. It’ll be a temporary gig until They get back from their trip to America. Yo was really insistent on finding a replacement that he had Kinro and Ginro set up this job fair when they should be doing their jobs guarding the prison.”
“Prison? That’s exactly what I used to do in the old world. I have experience, and it’s temporary! Sign me up. I’ll help you out, because I’ve always wanted to be a scientist. But degrees were expensive and I didn’t have the best grades in high school. Just average. Anyways, say no more, because you’re the man, man. I want to work with you after this so I can learn as much science as possible. Could you do me a teensy favor though?”
“It depends, what do you want?”
“Let’s say hypothetically Everything from the old world, all technology and documents are just gone forever, like the constitution, so like we have in America this paper that says all our rights and … “
“Get to the point.” Senku interrupts bluntly.
“Is there a way you could get marijuana legalized in Japan? You could claim it’s for scientific research.”
“Everything is up for scientific research, but I guess you have another goal in mind. Sure, whatever. Not my business what you do in your free time. The one you’re gonna want to speak to about that is Ukyo since he actually works for the government, and he already likes you so he will probably go along with making sure the laws don’t change. I don’t think criminalizing plants is the top priority for the Japanese government right now. But they might change. Besides, the biggest clothing brand in Japan makes most of it’s clothes from Hemp which is basically the same plant. It’s not like they really have the ability to analyze the THC content yet.”
“You mean weed is already legal!”
“For now, just as long as you don’t do something dumb like… “
“I’m gonna start a dispensary!”
“Weren’t you going to work for Yo ten seconds ago?”
“I can do both.”
“Well, aren’t you a hard worker.”
“Of course, it’ll be more efficient to do both jobs at the same time.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“So, I guess welcome to the team than.” Kinro tells the Dude.
“Wait a minute! Where’s my input on this!” Screams a man with spiky Orange hair in a police uniform from a room behind the booth.
“So I take it you’re Yo? Yo! What’s up, maaaan!” exclaims the Dude.
“Alright answer me a few questions. First question, have you ever killed anybody?” asks Yo.
“Um, you mean like, people, man? No.”
“Next question, can you fire a gun?”
“Sure, I know some weapons, man. I did have to qualify for my training as a prison guard after all.”
“You’re already a prison guard!?”
“Formerly, and yeah, man.”
“One last question before I make up my mind. Do you like to party?”
“You bet I do! In fact, I’m gonna start my very own dispensary since weed is legal now!” exclaims the Dude.
“IT IS?! I didn’t know that. I’ve always wanted to try it but it was highly illegal, you know.”
“Well, now you can buy from me, as soon as I get my hands on some wild cannabis. It’s the same plant you guys’ve been making clothes with.”
“Seriously!?” screams Yo.
“Basically, yeah. Although the stuff for making clothes isn’t gonna be as potent as the kind they have in the United States, especially in California.” Senku states.
“Just how do you know so much about American weed? You a stoner?” the Dude asks.
“As if! As a scientist, I would study everything. Even things that didn’t seem useful to me in the moment. For example, I could synthesize LSD in my lab as soon as I get back. Not that I want to though.” Senku states bluntly.
“That’s cool!” the Dude exclaims.
“Huh, what’s LSD?” Ginro asks.
“Lysergic acid diethlamide is a hallucinogenic drug that mainly works by stimulating the 5H2TA receptor in your brain causing complex hallucinations including time dilation as well as…”
“So, I understood about half of that but basically. It’s a mystery paper that makes you trip balls. It’s also really fun.” Dude said to Ginro while interrupting Senku.
“Sign me up! Senku why don’t you whip some of this LSD paper stuff up in your lab? That sounds awesome!” shouted Ginro.
“Ginro, how disappointed I am with you. To think you would want to destroy your mind and body with drugs. Winners don’t do drugs. The rules are the rules and Senku already said he wasn’t interested.” said Kinro
“I just said I’m not interested right now. LSD does have some medicinal properties that are worth looking into.” replied Senku
“That’s right, even some of the top scientists in America back in the day would do it all the time. Like the guy that discovered a new way to sequence DNA.” said Dude in broken Japanese.
“Well, you’re hired. Come to the prison tomorrow at say, 10 AM tomorrow. I’ll give you a list of things to bring, things that are not allowed and a rundown of what to expect when you start. A couple of my officers are going on an important diplomatic trip but it’s real easy. You just watch cameras all day.” said Yo to Dude.
“In the meantime. I bet you’re dying to explore the town. So, you wanna see the lab?” asked Senku.
“You bet I do!” The Dude exclaims. His stomach growls. “Could we get some food first? I’m starving!”
“Before that. I just need your picture real quick for your work ID. And here’s that list for you.” said Yo.
Senku and Dude walk into a restaurant. The sign reading “Restaurant Francois”
“Francois, funny running into you here.” Says Senku to the waitress at the entrance.
“But of course. Nanami corp wants to open the finest restaurant in all of Japan so I need to train the workers until they are able to run the place on their own. Senku, who’s your friend? I’ve never seen him around before.”
“His name is Dude and he wants to be a scientist so I’m gonna show him around the lab.”
“So you made a new friend, how wonderful. Any friend of Senku’s is a friend of mine.”
“Friends? I would say more like acquaintances. I want to put him to the test first.”
“I see, so he has a bit in common with someone else I know. Although something seems a bit, different about him” says Francois while looking at Dude’s outfit.
“Yeah, he’s a bit strange. But I ten billion percent need as many scientifically minded people as possible if I’m to rebuild civilization. He also willingly chose to stay here so that fascinates me.”
The duo sit down at a table and order their food. A few minutes later, Francois brings it out. For Senku, a bowl of gourmet ramen with vegetables and a fried egg on top. The Dude ordered a seitan steak with mushroom jus and a side of mashed potatoes without milk and sauteed greens.
“Mecha Senku here, seitan is an ancient Chinese meat replacement created in the 6th century. It was invented by Buddhist monks since they weren’t allowed to eat meat for religious reasons. There are tons of recipes online but the common ingredient in all of them is vital wheat gluten. You can get some by washing some flour in a pinch or buying it at the grocery store depending on where you live. Just look for it in the baking aisle near the flour. Mecha Senku out.”
“Wow this food is amazing! It really does feel like it’s been 3,700 years since I’ve eaten food like this in Kyoto.” Dude said.
Francois comes to the table. “Is everything to your liking?”
“Of course! The seitan was great. Can I have the recipe?”
“Certainly, I’ll try to write it in English for you.”
Senku interjects “In the meantime, It’s after noon now. I’ve got a friend to meet up with. Hey, Dude. Wanna see your new home?”
“Yeah sure, who’s this friend though?”
“You’ll see soon enough.”
Senku and Dude walk right outside and up the street about a block. A muscular Japanese man in brown clothes waves at Senku from across the street.
“Senku! Long time no see, buddy! I got your text that Yo got a new prison guard to replace Moz and Kirisame! That’s great!
“Yo, Taiju. What a coincidence running into you here.” Senku said sarcastically.
What do you mean? You texted me to meet you out here at noon so of course I’m here. And you’re late, Senku! I’ve just been out here yelling so that people come into the store and buy clothes.”
“You’re probably scaring more people away from the store you big oaf.”
“Man, it’s been a while since you’ve called me that. Anyway, who’s your new friend?”
“This is that prison guard that Yo hired.”
“So cool! I like your style, man. So, you’re Dude than. Let’s see, English. Hello, how are you. I’m fine thank you.”
“You’re supposed to wait for him to say how he is first.” Senku interjects.
Dude looks at Taiju and responds in Japanese. “Taiju, right. Dude. You’re the easiest person of all to understand so you don’t need to speak English. Besides, Japanese is the language of the future so I should learn it.”
“WOW! You speak Japanese so well. I’m impressed. Senku, I hope you’re not replacing me as your best friend. We’ve known each other for thousands of years so that would really break my heart!”
“Nobody is replacing you, big oaf. Besides, I can have more than one friend.”
The trio walk for a couple of kilometers inland toward the former Tsukasa empire.
Taiju stops for a second “I just realized, you probably recognized me from that Nanami corp. movie they show when they revive people. That was me, playing myself, It’s all a true story too. Here I go blabbering again.”
“That’s alright. I was thinking of making a movie of my own. With the right budget, I could make a big banger at the box office. It might make like 20k.” said Dude.
“That’s all?! Wait, how much is that in yen? Well, anyway I’m pretty sure big Hollywood movies usually make a lot more than that!” exclaimed Taiju.
“Well, you gotta pay the staff and all the actors and pay for the equipment, plus advertising. It’s not like there’s a lot of people around yet to watch it.”
“Let’s keep moving. We’re almost there Dude.” said Senku.
The three finally arrive at the house. It’s a modest size house. Pretty big for being a Japanese home. Dude is the first one through the front door.
“WOW! The rug even ties the whole place together, man. Far out. I’m really diggin the look, man. I could put a bar right over here. Is that central air?!”
Senku replies “Yup, Electric cooling and heating all thanks to the wonderful technology called heat pumps.”
“Heat pumps, huh. That sounds so advanced. What kinda crazy tech Is that? Couldn’t they just make a reverse air conditioner or something?” Taiju asks.
“That’s exactly what it is.”
“Seriously!?”
“I’ll spare you an explanation of latent heat of vaporization and the refrigeration cycle as you’ve already heard enough about it when we froze Tsukasa.”
“Yup, I understood none of it.”
Dude looks over at Senku “Best part of all this is no gas bill. Heat pumps were decades out of reach for most Americans since they were so expensive and most people still had gas furnaces already but they’re worth it. They’re so efficient and cool!”
“Why do you think we designed the house like we did?” asked Senku.
“You mean you guys built this place!?”
“Yup! Built this whole thing with my own hands. Only took me three days,” bragged Taiju
“Really, that’s incredible!” exclaimed Dude.
“He had help, it wasn’t just him. Though, I personally ran brand new electrical wiring through this place just yesterday. It’s even got state of the art solar panels on the roof. We had to build a bunch to go to space anyways.” said Senku.
The group than heads into the kitchen, Dude leading the way.
“Wow, is that an induction stove!? I’ve always wanted one of these. So cool!”
“Induction, what’s that?” asks Taiju.
“Cooking with magnets.” Senku responds.
“Freaking magnets! How do they work!?” Says the Dude referencing something that went over both Senku and Taiju’s heads.
“Normally you have a super sciencey explanation so it’s strange for you to be this short and to the point.” Said Taiju.
“First, I know you well enough to know a complicated explanation would go right over your head.”
“That kinda hurts. But it’s also accurate.”
“Second, there’s this thing called pacing. I don’t want this dragging too long. We can’t have people getting too bored and hitting that X at the top right of their screens.”
“That’s so meta!” Taiju exclaims.
“People should be interested in technology though, it’s super awesome!” Dude adds.
“How about a practical example. Taiju. I’m going to turn this knob all the way up on high. You’ll hear some humming coming from it. Place your hand directly on the burner.”
“Won’t that burn me!?”
“What, are you scared? Just trust me, I wouldn’t do anything that would cause you severe burns.”
“Well, ok. If you say this won’t hurt.”
Taiju puts his hand directly on the burner.
“Huh? That’s insane. The heat is on high but it barely feels warm at all. Why is that?”
“Dude here, I got this one. Normal electric or gas stoves get very hot and than that heat is transferred into the pan and that gets the pan hot. That’s called convection.”
“Makes sense so far.” Taiju says.
“But what if the stove just heated the pan directly?” asked Senku.
“How is that possible!?”
“By generating a magnetic field. As long as whatever pan you use is magnetic than it should work. Its hella more efficient than convection cooktops. As long as the pan you’re using is magnetic than it should work. Another upside is they don’t generate the same waste heat that other stoves do. You get the fine heat control of a gas stove without making the kitchen super hot. That’s why Restaurant Francois uses these in their kitchen.” said Senku.
“But Senku, there were definitely grill marks on my steak at the restaurant. Does that mean they have outdoor grills too.” Dude chimed in.
“That’s exactly right. Induction stoves inside and wood pellet grills outside. Ten billion points.”
“I could only imagine how much you’re saving on energy you’re saving on cooling.”
“Not that energy is a scarce resource anyways. But the strain on the power grid will only increase as we revive more people. Which is why the future is gonna be powered by renewable energy! Unfortunately, gasoline is still the ultimate fuel for big ships. Although, human waste and other garbage can work in a desperate situation.”
“But, what if I wanted to use a cast iron pan or something?”
“I thought about that. One of the burners in the back has a normal convection mode.”
“That’s freaking awesome!” shouted Dude.
The trio finish looking at the house and than they all walk for some hours to Senku’s science lab. Inside, there are lots of glass tables with probably hundreds of glass beakers and flasks and fume hoods everywhere. There are lots of giant machines of unknown function to Dude that Senku assuredly could describe in detail the way they all work, but Dude doesn’t ask because he knows it would all go way over his head anyways. Especially with his limited understanding of the Japanese language.
“Hey, Senku. Who’s the new guy?” Asks a guy with spiky brown hair in a blue outfit.
Than Dude spots a short, young woman with blonde hair in a brown outfit with some kind of broken melon mask on her head with lenses. Dude swoops in.
“Hello, darling! How are you doing this fine day? Would you like me to cook you something? I’m a really great cook. Sorry, I don’t know what came over me, you probably don’t speak English, huh.” said the Dude in English.
The brown spiky haired guy could see the hearts in Dude’s eyes and was not amused.
“Senku, did you really invite this dopey looking dude to the lab or is he an intruder? Can this guy even speak our language? Hey, pal. We’re trying to do some serious science work here.”
“Oh, I’m serious too. Seriously in love. Why don’t you relax a bit. This place is freakin awesome. “ Dude said in Japanese.
“So you can speak Japanese than. Senku, you never answered my question. Why did you invite this guy to the lab? We’re busy with science stuff and he’s just a distraction.”
“Actually, we weren’t really doing anything when they got here. It’s about lunch time now.” said the woman
“Why, hello there cutie! I can cook you some lunch if you want me to.” Dude said with hearts in his eyes.
“You see. We can’t just have random people coming in here and sexually harassing our female scientists.”
“Who’s the sexual harasser! I won’t abide by that.” said Dude.
“You obviously.”
“Dude, enough fooling around.” Senku demands.
“This is the heart of the Kingdom of Science, the Science lab. Dude, this is Dr. Chrome. Chrome, meet Dude. This woman over here is Dr. Suika. Suika, Dude. He is going to be guarding the prison while Moz and Kirisame are away in America for the revival of the president. “ said Senku
“A prison guard eh. But why bring him to the lab? Are you sure he’s up for the task? He looks pretty scrawny.” Chrome asked.
“Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.” responded Dude.
“No need to worry. I brought him here to tell him the true nature of the assignment. You see, all of the inmates at this prison”
Dude gulps.
“All of the inmates?”
“Are petrified!”
“What, seriously!? Than why do you need so many guards than? That sounds like the easiest job in the world! You mean there’s no chow or insulin or laundry for that matter! What exactly are we guarding than?”
“Great question.”
Senku points to a small glass dome in the back of the lab. Inside is Why Man, the individual behind the great petrification events of 2019 and 5742. Not a man but rather a small device that was one of many that rained from the sky, inflicting petrification on every swallow and than every human on Earth in the year 2019. It has the ability to petrify any species it wants. It is also willingly in the service of the Kingdom of Science.
“You got freaking Why Man here! But why, man!?.”
“If Why Man got into the wrong hands, what would happen?”
“I don’t understand what you mean? I get what you’re saying but isn’t he on your side now?”
Why Man begins to speak.
“If I may interject, Senku. Yes, I am what the humans call “Why Man” unfortunately, my programming dictates that I must obey any orders to use my petrification powers over a given radius. I can however override this by switching on my emotional circuits, but it causes immense suffering so I would rather not do that.”
“So, You’re taking Why Man to the prison. The prisoners are all a front! I mean that is kinda genius. Cuz who would guess that Why Man is there?”
“You’re gonna be guarding the inmates too. Think about it. You have the most well known and notorious criminals in all of Japan there. Just because they’re petrified, doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous. We’re talking only people with life sentences here. Everyone else is being freed and the Japanese government can re-try them for their crimes when it’s up and fully running again. For now, all of these guys are going to remain petrified until than. However, if someone were to break in to the prison to revive or try to free one or more of the inmates, that would be a pretty big disaster. Which is why Kirisame’s throwing arm is vital to the operation.”
“How so?” Asked the Dude.
“If someone were to try to climb the fence, she could use Why Man here to petrify them before they even had a chance to get over.”
“That’s actually brilliant! And she’s going to America. I don’t think I can throw it with the same accuracy though. What am I supposed to do?
“Don’t worry, the likelihood of anything crazy like that happening is slim. It’ll only be like this for a few days while everyone is gone. You’re just there to fill up the numbers So that we can send two of our guards to America to escort Gen, Ukyo and the reporter. Kohaku is going with them as well. You’ll be in a room all day watching cameras and calling one of the other guards if you see anything suspicious”
“I think I remember some of those names from that movie I watched. And Ukyo too, I sure wouldn’t mind meeting that guy. By the way- “
Dude looks over at Suika.
“May I please have you’re phone number?” Dude said in polite Japanese.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have a phone.”
“You can have my number. I like talking to people.” said Taiju.
“From the way Chrome was acting, you and Suika are dating aren’t you!?” Dude asks Chrome.
“What? Of course not. I’m married.”
“Well, that didn’t stop Bill Clinton from getting his knob slobbed on in the oval office.”
“I don’t know who that is but you’re really ticking me off now! We’re scientists trying to do important top secret science stuff here. What do you know about science anyway!?”
“Well, let’s see, I dabble in a little computer science. A little engineering. Sometimes I gotta cobble together something to smoke out of. I studied a little biology back in the day, Probably no where near the expertise you have.”
“Well, at least you’ve acknowledged that much.”
“At least you’re curious about the world. That’s all that science is about. It doesn’t matter how much you know. Anybody can make an accidental discovery that completely changes everything we know. You don’t have to be a genius to do science.” interjected Senku.
“And on that note let’s…” chimed in Dude.
“Let’s stop working for today and have some drinks.” Senku interrupted.
“After all, it is a special occasion. Everybody is leaving for America tomorrow for the revival of the president.”
“Hey, Senku. I have a question. Why do Gen and Ukyo need so much security anyway?” asks Dude.
“Tell me, Dude. What do you know about the current president?”
“I know I don’t care for him personally. He’s quite controversial in America. If he legalizes weed, my opinion might change. You just can’t ever predict what he’s gonna do.”
“He definitely seems to be a wildcard for sure. I never really got into politics much. More of a science person myself. But that unpredictability means we need to be cautious. Plus even if the president doesn’t have anything nefarious planned, someone else inside the administration could have other intentions. That is precisely why I leave all the politicking to Gen and Ukyo. With the president of America being revived, things won’t be as simple anymore. Best case scenario is that the security is unneeded. Everyone comes home safe and sound from the trip to America and we can get back to science.”
“By the way, Senku. What does that giant machine back there do?”
“Particle accelerator.” Senku responds in English.
“That’s insane! What could you possibly need that for!”
“We’re doing a top secret science mission. I can’t tell you any more details because it’s all classified. Besides the science team, only a few people in the government including Ukyo know about it. Sorry.”
“Well, I tried anyway. So, the great adventure starts tomorrow, huh. I wonder if we’ll have some wacky adventures of our own in the future!”
“Please don’t make this weird.” said Senku.
“Things have been weird for over 3700 years. Hahahahahaha.” Said Taiju.
“Yeah I can’t wait to finish this time ma... oops” said Chrome.
“Tai ma? Marijuana!? You’re making a marijuana patch? No wonder why you want to keep that a secret!” Dude exclaimed.
Note: taima (大麻 ) is Japanese for hemp, weed or cannabis.
“Oh, he was just saying he can’t wait to finish this in time for the new Nanami corp film to come out. Say, would you like to go?” asked Suika nervously.
“Would I, with you? Of course! Wow, I never expected to be going on a date so soon after being revived. Maybe I could cook you something afterward, Suika sweet. I’m so exited!” exclaimed Dude.
Senku looks toward Dude.
“You should get exited for the day after tomorrow. The president of the USA is being revived in the stone world. If we can even call it that anymore. And tomorrow, you start your new job as a prison guard.”
“I can’t wait to have some exiting adventures with you guys!” Dude yells.
At the bar, Senku pulls out something that surprised Dude. It was a glass bong.
"You know, I've always wanted to see what the big deal about cannabis was but I've never tried it before. This was highly illegal in Japan in 2019."
"Yooo, you got bud!?" asked Dude enthusiastically.
"Of course. Wild cannabis grows everywhere. Of course smuggling this stuff into Japan had severe consequences but people still did it. Now I bet you want a hit off of this, let's go outside and smoke this bowl. You only live once after all." said Senku.
"Bet!" replied Dude.
Senku took a fat rip off the bong and began coughing, a lot. At first, he didn't feel anything different aside from the slight buzz from the alcohol. However, after the second hit, he could feel it and it was coming in strong.
"So, whatdjya think?" asked Dude who was waiting for a chance to smoke some himself.
"I finally get what all the hype is about. Still, not something I want to do all the time. Smoking anything is bad for your health and all."
"That's fair. Alright, let me get a hit off of that!"
So, Dude goes to bed ready to start his day as a new security guard at the Kingdom of Science prison.