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>_< ♡ [20:56:12] so
>_< ♡ [20:56:21] i was thinking
Dan ^-^ [20:56:30] nooooo!!!
Dan ^-^ [20:56:42] you'll hurt yourself :((((
>_< ♡ [20:56:50] -_-
Dan ^-^ [20:57:02] and then i'll be alone
Dan ^-^ [20:57:11] and so so sad without you
Dan ^-^ [20:57:15] :"(
>_< ♡ [20:57:20] hmm
>_< ♡ [20:57:26] sooo
>_< ♡ [20:57:38] do you not want to know
Dan ^-^ [20:57:45] know what phil
>_< ♡ [20:57:52] what i was thinking
Dan ^-^ [20:57:59] i think i might know
>_< ♡ [20:58:04] really???
Dan ^-^ [20:58:13] you've finally seen the light and want to try eating cheese again
>_< ♡ [20:58:17] >>>:(
>_< ♡ [20:58:20] daaaan
Dan ^-^ [20:58:26] awww sorry sorry
Dan ^-^ [20:58:34] don't be mad at me philly
Dan ^-^ [20:58:45] pls tell me what you were thinking about?
>_< ♡ [20:58:52] so
>_< ♡ [20:59:07] im gonna have the house to myself sometime in october
Dan ^-^ [20:59:11] oh
>_< ♡ [20:59:13] and i was thinking
>_< ♡ [20:59:20] it'd be reallt cool to have you over
>_< ♡ [20:59:26] if you'd like to come
>_< ♡ [20:59:38] i could get you train tickets to manchester
>_< ♡ [20:59:43] and I could show you around
>_< ♡ [20:59:50] and we'd be seeing each other in person!!!
>_< ♡ [20:59:59] i'd really like to see you in person dan
>_< ♡ [21:00:08] dan?
Dan reads Phil's message once, twice, then once more, because what???? Both his hands are tightly wrapped around the edge of the computer desk he's sitting at, keyboard left abandoned between them. The cursor is blink, blink, blink-ing at him from the empty chat box.
Phil wants to see him. In person. Not just on camera through shitty webcams that hide just as much they reveal. He'll see Phil, like real life actual Phil - Amazing Phil, fuck - in the flesh and without the slightly grainy texture Dan's been seeing him in for all these months. And not only will he be seeing him, he'll be hearing him, smelling him, touching-
Dan jumps off of the computer chair, starts pacing up and down the length of his bedroom. He runs his hands through his hair, only to grab fistfuls of it and tug hard, because fuck, he doesn't know what to do with his hands anymore, what does he even have hands for, for fucks sake.
'To touch him,' pops up again in Dan's mind, chasing hom down and unwilling to get buried away. He has to bring both his hands down and press them hard into his face in an effort not to let his thoughts get away from him. His nose is squished under his own palms, he can't really breathe, and there's spit making it's way onto his hand as he groans into them, because Phil had typed, 'I'm gonna have the house to myself.'
Dan's heart is racing and it's like his body doesn't quite understand what is happening, making him feel hot and cold all at once. He's shivering, from nerves and anticipation and excitement, but at the same time feels like his clothes are shrinking and cutting into him, a prickling heat starting to take root and spread from under his collar.
What did Phil mean? He has to have meant something innocuous by it right, he knows how Dan is after all. Phil's calling him over when no one's home so Dan doesn't have to worry himself sick over making a good first impression in front of his parents or spiral as he wonders what could possibly be going on in their minds as they watch their son bring home a boy.
That's got to be it. Yeah. Fuck, he's such a pervert, but he can't stop thinking about the infinite possibilities an empty house gives them. And yeah Phil talked about sightseeing or whatever, but Dan knows exactly what sights he'd like to be seeing, that's for sure.
Fuck it.
Dan sits back down at his computer desk. There's no new message from Phil, and the cursor still blinks away in front of him, impatient, willing him to type. And all of a sudden Dan feels guilt creep under his skin, a familiar citizen making it's way back home. He thinks about Phil sitting at his own desk, waiting for Dan to reply to him or leave him without a response or tell him to fuck off.
Meanwhile, Dan's dick is throbbing in his pants.
Okay. He can do this. Dan needs to push through all the x-rated thoughts trying to crowd the front of his mind and focus on what truly matters. He thinks about the dent in his savings the train tickets gonna make, because there's no chance in hell hes letting Phil pay for them. And what's he going to tell his parents?
But that's hardly the worst of it. What if Phil hates him when they meet? What if he can't stand his hair or his voice, or somehow reads Dan's mind and draws away in disgust when he realises how much Dan wants him?
Not just to put his hands on Phil's body, no, but him, all of him, in any way he'll let himself be had and for however long. Because Dan can't remember the last time he's wanted something so badly, something -someone- that just might be within reach of him. Someone that might want him back too.
Unless he's collosally wrong and Phil wants shit all to do with him. But that thought is hard to entertain when there's evidence of the contrary staring him straight in the face.
I'd really like to see you in person Dan
If you'd like to come
'If', fucking hilarious. As if there's a shortage in the number of things Dan would like to do if Phil's involved. But just walking around aimlessly with this man would be a dream come true. And if things end up progressing further, then.
Well. Dan ignores the guilt, the blinking cursor, every stupid worry nagging at him, and closes his eyes.
He imagines Phil in his bedroom, shirtless on his bed with his back against the wall. Watches as his smile tips, one corner ticking up. His pupils are blown, and they're on Dan as he brings one hand up from his bedcovers to lay on his thigh, then slowly dragging it up, up, up over his abdomen, his chest, lightly flicking a nipple before making it's way to the nape of his neck, head lilting to the other side. His eyes close , breathing in and out from his parted mouth, chest heaving. The pointy tip of his tongue flicks over his bottom lip, leaving behind a wet sheen. When he opens his eyes again, they're hooded. His gaze locks back onto Dan's as he spreads his thighs, planting both of his feet on the bed. He's openly smirking at Dan now, knows exactly what he's doing to him and revelling in it. Dan watches helplessly, bewitched beyong belief, as Phil palms himself over his pants - feels it like its him being touched - before slowly tucking his fingers between skin and waistband-
The door to his room bangs open, and Dan jumps, broken away from his daydream. His neck creaks from how swiftly he turns his head to look at the intruder.
"Daniel?" It's his mother, her expression an odd mixture of concern-confusion-irritation. She's got her plaid apron on, and it's the sight of that garment more so than her that beings him crashing down to earth. Hard. He's no longer with Phil, but back home in his little bedroom, his family downstairs. Dan doesn't know what to say, what to make of that look on his mothers face. He blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.
"Oh my God, mum, why is it so hard for you to knock?" It comes out suspiciously defensive even to his own ears. His heart is beating away wildly behind his ribs, like a frantic rabbit in a cage too small for it. It's an odd vision to entertain, what with his dick still hard and throbbing, barely hidden from view beneath his desk. Oh, and not to forget, his mother still at the door.
Thank Jesus his hands did not follow his blood flow down South.
"Oh no you don't. I did call for you. Three times even! What could you possibly be doing on that computer that has rendered you deaf to my words?" She's still calm enough so far, but Dan feels the distance between them like a chasm, one he cannot bridge, doesn't have the motivation or even want to try. Her right hand is wrapped tightly around a deep ladle. Dan locks his gaze firmly onto it, and doesn't reply.
His mother sighs, and Dan can see the fight in her leave her body, hand loosening around the utensil he doesn't look away from.
"Just... nevermind. Dinner's ready is all. Wash your hands before you come down, please. I could use your help in plating the food."
She leaves just as promptly as she arrived, leaving Dan glued to his chair. His erection has flagged somewhat, but his heart still beats away loudly.
He pillows his head against his palms, elbows resting on the desk. Fuck. Frustration wells up, rearing it's ugly head and thrashing, and Dan feels stuck again. The same feeling that wells up each time something doesn't quite go right in his life. Like he's glued to one spot while the world moves past him, unstopping. He couldn't move, and with time he started wondering if he even wanted to.
Phil though, he walks towards Dan, against the grain. His arm is outstretched, and his smile is aimed at Dan, bright. Bright as the sun that's now come out, rays of light hitting his eyes just right and turning them into a pair of sparkling turquoise stones. Dan wants to touch him so badly.
So he does.
He reaches out and grabs Phil's hand, and let's him lead them both forward. Hand in hand into that vast, bright unknown.
Dan opens his eyes with newfound determination, opens up MSN and types away with quick fingers. And really, fuck it, fuck how much it's going to cost him, and fuck the rest of the world, because Dan is coming right back to his room after dinner, and he's going to book those damn tickets.
When he leaves the room, it's with a pep in his step that's undoubtedly going to raise some eyebrows. Dan doesn't have it in him to give a flying fuck.
Dan ^-^ [21:34:42] yes. a 100% yes. gonna book the tickets as soon as i can
Dan ^-^ [21:33:11] don't care what happens, i'm gonna get there, phil
Dan ^-^ [21:33:20] i really, really can't wait :)))