Chapter Text
“If Kamimura can forgive me… That’s enough…” That should’ve been it, Ken had no more words to give. He no longer cared about living. He just wanted to find Kamimura and beg for his forgiveness for being a useless man.
So even when his bones twist and his limbs pop, he can only stare on empty. He can’t find joy in the ‘quiz game’ they made for him. Of course he can’t… He didn’t deserve to be happy.
He’s thankful when his neck twists brutally, making his conscious end.
The sound of panicking… The sound of confused students… Where was he?
He opens his eyes… This wasn’t the pitch black nothing he expected. This wasn’t even hell, maybe it was?
He pulls himself up, he looks around. The students he saw before stood alive, confused, and scared.
He blinks, he looks at his hands, he feels his face… He only now realized he had full vision again.
His eyes wander the room, soon stopping on the one man he cared about the most. His breath stops, it takes everything to not immediately engulf him in a desperate hug to make sure he was real.
He breathed, his head was intact, his tongue in his mouth. He hears him curse out something of annoyance before glancing around the room himself, his eyes stopping on his.
Both boys go silent, as if some quiet understanding was made. Neither listened too hard to the complaining students and Monomoko explained what was likely the game and their situation.
Instead they focused on each other… Kamimura blinks and Ken soon blushes. Turning away too fast for his own good.
No… He shouldn’t get his hopes up… He didn’t deserve someone like Kamimura.
Only a bit later did he feel that dreadful rabbit’s eyes on him. Too closely, as if she was watching him specifically.
This must be her doing… But for what reasons would she bring them all back? No one else seemed to remember. No one recognized one another.
She leaves, leaving the students to explore, he’s almost tempted to walk to Kamimura, then he remembers they aren’t even friends yet. So he stands in place instead.
“Hey… Want to explore together?” A voice speaks in his direction. He turns slowly, her… The start of when he realized how much of a failure he was.
Now she stood in the flesh. Her orange hair bouncing lightly with that smile on her face that only fed into his guilt.
“S-Sure…”
“Man… It sure is cold in here…” She shivers lightly, Ken shifts a bit. He knew what she wanted… But it was still strange to have to process what she meant. He takes his coat off carefully, soon putting it over her shoulder gently. “Oh! Thank you.” She smiles, he nods, keeping his mouth shut for the most part. He knew this room already… This is where they placed the bodies of the dead students. “What do you think this room is…?” She asks quietly, he hesitates to answer.
“...Well… I hate to say it but I think this is a morgue…” He mumbles, he watches her tense up at the words. The little bit of hope she was trying to hold onto falling fast.
“...Oh…” He cringes, did he mess up? Maybe he should’ve stayed quiet…
Ah… Why did he care? He had no reason to, right? Maybe deep down he was hoping he could somehow be better… But he already proved who he was in the first game.
If Kamimura died again, he can’t say he wouldn’t act like that again.
But Isono continues to look at him with a look of trust anyway. He doesn’t understand, he didn’t deserve that look… He failed both of them afterall.
“Um… My name is Isono Miki by the way. What about you?”
“H-Hasegawa Ken…” He speaks quietly, it makes her nod.
“Do you have a girlfriend? You seem like you would.” This question again, he shakes his head.
“No… I don’t really like women like that…” He decided to make his mind clear this time, she makes an o with her mouth before smiling.
“That’s fair. I don’t have a boyfriend. Not really interested in dating either.” She hums, happier to get off the sour subject of the morgue as they walk. “So you like men?”
“Y-Yeah…” He mumbles quietly, his mind wanders to Kamimura again. The most perfect man he’s been blessed to witness. He takes a deep breath slowly.
“That makes sense honestly.” She giggles a bit, he almost laughs in response, but he still can’t bring himself to. Not when he knew what was coming next…
That meeting he would grow to dislike. It was noisy, crowded… He didn’t like being here. He would simply say what he found and leave.
Afterall, he’d need as much rest as possible to get through the sleep motive.
“Hasegawa and I found the morgue and med bay… There were cold lockers.” Isono speaks easily, something Ken almost envies but is honestly more thankful he didn’t need to speak himself.
So as they speak Ken looks around the room again, he watches the reactions. Trying to find any hint that anyone knew anything.
He finds nothing, except Kamimura looking at him again. He blinks now, Kamimura looks away with a light blush.
Ken almost wants to speak but keeps his mouth shut.
“…Hasegawa Ken.” Monomoko spoke carefully, as if she was speaking a dangerous word. He turns towards her, a glare finds its way through his face towards her. She doesn’t flinch. “…I would suggest checking out the rooms. That is where you will be sleeping.” She disappears without a trace. He blinks, he takes a deep breath. At least she didn’t overstay her welcome…
So he moves to the rooms, looking around. It was just like the first time… He looks towards the desk that was covered in books.
He thinks back to the first game. The tunnels… He could use them in the worst case. It would look horribly suspicious though. Best as a last resort… could he remember all the camera locations? Thankfully he could… Finally his memory was good for something.
That’s when he remembers his bathroom was a safe place to hide… Guess they had enough dignity to not peek in there at least.
So he’d have a place to get quick naps… That was something… He couldn’t tell everyone about that though. Not only did he not trust everyone to stay quiet, but it would look way too suspicious if they all did it.
Best to keep that one to himself… Tell Kamimura and Isono at most.
He starts to think about the other motives as he walks into the bathroom. He sighs out loudly. This was a place he could feel safe… No cameras… No noises… No weird smells…
“Hasegawa.”
“FUCK!” He screams in his own fear. He glares at the rabbit. He takes a deep breath, a surge of anger rocking through him. “…What?”
“…You remember correct?” He blinks, he nods.
“…Why are we all alive? I was executed… I killed Hayashi…” He speaks the words out like poison on his tongue. No guilt was in his words currently, making Monomoko stare at him in question.
“…I realized I want you all to live… Even you and Okazaki.” Ken tenses up at her name. His brows furrow and he pinches his forehead.
“…Why?”
“Because neither of you would’ve done what you did if things were different.” He glares again, his teeth grinding a bit in anger.
“…Where is the excuse for what she did? She tortured him… Cut out his tongue for fun and held it like a trophy for sick kicks… How are you going to tell me she… Would’ve just not done that if things were different?” He wanted to kick the rabbit, punt it across the room. The rabbit does not flinch though, it continues to stare.
“…Okazaki is not a good person… I will not ask for you to like her or to forgive her. I ask for you to understand, things can be different.” Monomoko stares at him, he sees dedication in her black bead eyes. “…Everyone can survive, you just need them all to survive the 5 motives.”
“And what if I don’t think we deserve to survive?” Ken asks bitterly. “What makes you think I’m the one you can trust with this? What makes you think I care about anyone here?”
“You care about Kamimura Kazutoshi.” Monomoko doesn’t miss a beat, his words are cut off that easily. He grips his sleeve, he wants to refute, the rabbit knows though… Because he never hid his affection.
“…I could just force 5 trials and get us out that way…” Ken mumbles, trying to find an excuse to not help this rabbit.
“Would Kamimura forgive you for that?” Ken cringes, he takes a deep breath.
“Kamimura won’t forgive me as I am regardless…” Ken said his forgiveness was the only thing he needed and it was still true… but in reality he had a sinking feeling he wouldn’t forgive him. How could he? Ken failed to protect him… Killed someone Kamimura was close to, and tortured people for a week. Especially when Ken at the moment didn’t feel remorse for what he did.
Kamimura deserved someone better than him, someone who could protect him, love him, and was a good, useful person.
Ken was a horrible, worthless person who couldn’t protect him… In his eyes he was unforgivable no matter how much he wanted to be.
“Kamimura does not know that Hasegawa.” Monomoko says, staring. “…I think he would forgive you, because we both knew he…” Monomoko stops seeing Ken’s expression darken. He soon takes another breath of air.
“…I’m doing this for Kamimura… Not you or the other students…” Ken says in a cold tone, but that seems to please Monomoko.
“When a student dies, I will send us back to the beginning. I will attempt to make the games easier this time around. But understand the scientists are ultimately in control.”
“Yeah I get that… Are we going to have to lose eyes or be branded again?” He asks bitterly, she shrinks only a little.
“Ideally no. But there will be painful punishments… I will try to not inflict anything long lasting.”
“How thoughtful.” He responds a bit bitter still as he sighs. “Is that it? I need to plan how to deal with these motives…”
“Ah… Yes I should leave before they get too suspicious. I look forward to working with you Hasegawa.” Monomoko disappears, much to Ken’s relief. He decides he can’t be in here for much longer without looking suspicious. So he leaves to look at the time now.
It was night time… He needed to leave now if he wanted to still talk to Kamimura…
His heart pounds in his chest. His mind screams at him that he didn’t deserve to speak to him anymore. But his heart was too desperate… He wanted to see him again.
He walks towards the kitchen with heavy steps.
“Well well well… Looks like I’m not the only one who couldn’t sleep.” The voice makes Ken freeze, he turns towards him. The one who indirectly caused his spiral downwards, not that he’d blame him no… It was all out of his choice to become who he was now. He forces out a small laugh.
“Yeah… Honestly I don’t know how anyone can sleep in this situation. I mean I get we’re all tired but…”
“Nah I get ya. I’m not letting my guard down against any of these weirdos.” Kazutoshi says, smiling lightly as he sits down. Ken can’t stop a real chuckle from coming out there.
“Yet you’re willing to sit in the kitchen with me? In the middle of the night?” Kazutoshi scoffs a bit, as if he said something outrageous.
“You’re different, you're fine…” Kazutoshi spoke humming only a little, Ken knew this song and dance once already… Next Kazutoshi would say that he wasn’t a freak like Hama or Okazaki…
Ugh… Just thinking about her made him want to cringe and hurl.
“You seem… Okay… I guess I just trust you.” Kazutoshi speaks, Ken widens his eyes only a little. That’s not what he said before… Ken scratches his head lightly, soon turning his vision away for a bit.
“Well… I trust you too…” Ken feels bad, because Kazutoshi shouldn’t trust him… Though he supposed that everyone else was worse so he couldn’t be too upset.
“Plus you aren’t a goddamn freak like Hama or Okazaki.” Ah… There it was, Ken can’t stop himself from chuckling again. “I can sit here comfortably without worrying that you’re gonna stab me or something.”
“Of course I wouldn’t.” He spoke it so easily, naturally even. It makes Kazutoshi stare for just a second before turning away again in a quick movement. It was then Ken decided to take in more of Kazutoshi’s features, the way his hair swayed, his like flush on his cheeks… Kazutoshi was perfect…
“You got a job or anything?” Kazutoshi asks curiously. “I clean crime scenes for a living.”
“Really? That must be interesting.” Ken replies, forcing a sense of surprise onto his face. Kazutoshi hums, leaning back in the chair he sat in. “I-I just go on quiz shows…”
“No shit? You good?”
“I-I guess so… I never lost before…” Ken mumbles quietly, making Kazutoshi scoff with a smirk.
“Well damn. You must be pretty damn good then! All I do is clean up bodies for a living.” Kazutoshi says, shrugging a bit. “How much money do you make from it?”
“Um… 13 Million Yen…” He can’t help but still feel conscious saying it. Kazutoshi widens his eyes though for just a bit.
“So we got 4 famous people here? Ugh… To admit people like Hiroaki that much though makes me curl a bit… We’ll definitely be found.” Ken frowns at the words, because he knew that wasn’t true… At least it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
“R-Right… I wouldn’t say I’m famous though.”
“Well at the minimum you're rich.” Kazutoshi smiles again as he pushes back on the table so he can stand up from his chair. “I’m gonna try and force myself to sleep.”
“O-Oh… Alright. You think those locks are as pick proof as the rabbit says?” Ken asks curiously as he goes to stand as well. Following close behind the crime scene cleaner.
“Now hold on. Did the rabbit say that? Or did Wada say that?” Kazutoshi asks skeptically.
“Um… Wada...” Ken speaks quietly.
“Exactly. He’s telling us they’re pick-proof so that we can feel safe. Then, in the dead of night, BAM.” Kazutoshi does a small jazz hand motion as they walk, attempting to be extravagant with his words. “He picks your lock and stabs you in the throat. Dead.”
“I think I could fight off Wada though…” Ken says with a light laugh, though he knew he one hundred percent could. There was no debate in it… Through all the weeks he lived Wada couldn’t ever defend himself against him.
“Even if he comes at you while you’re asleep?”
“Pretty sure anyone can… No offense to him… It’s Wada.” Ken says with a shrug that makes Kazutoshi snicker and hold back a laugh.
“You got that damn right. Regardless I promise if someone comes and tries to kill you I’ll jump on their back or something. Give you some time to run away.”
“My knight in shining armor.” Ken taunts lightly, making Kazutoshi laugh more willingly.
“I’m serious though! If I gotta push my neck out for someone it’d be you currently.” Ken flinched a bit, he didn’t want him to do that though… He wanted Kamimura to survive this hellhole and get home.
“I’d do the same for you…” He mumbles lightly, Kamimura glances at him before scoffing and turning away.
“I don’t need help… I’m fine.” Ken wanted to rebuttal, but he keeps his mouth closed. For now he’d need to let him gain more trust. Kamimura was a secluded person. He wouldn’t pry… Not until it was needed.
“Well… I’d be there regardless.” Ken speaks quietly, and then the hallway goes silent. Ken hadn’t realized he had followed Kamimura all the way to his room. “Um… Good knight Kazutoshi…” He spoke his first name without thinking. He was going to correct himself, but Kazutoshi blinks and soon hums before moving to open his door.
“Good night Ken.”
So Ken finds himself laying in his bed, thinking about anything important he’d need to remember.
The bathrooms were safe places, no cameras… Since Monomoko did not feel a need to stay silent about the situation it must be truly hidden from view. Surprising… Considering they’ve lacked the morals for anything else in this dreadful game, what made them draw the line at their bathrooms? From his knowledge the public bathrooms weren’t the same. Perhaps because the stalls could block out anything unneeded from being shown.
Eh… What did it matter? It’s not like he planned on talking to anyone about this anyway. It might matter for Kazutoshi and Isono… Everyone else was not someone he cared to talk to.
Well… Maybe he was being just a bit over cruel. Anyone before the 3rd week was alright… Hama wasn’t the worst, if anything he felt even a bit bad for the demonologist and what happened to him. Pinned as a killer for something he couldn’t control? The same happened with Harada… Except it was more controllable on his end. For a zoologist, he didn’t consider the fact Sawa was a tiger much.
Ah… Right, the tiger. Another thing to be worried about…
Dropping that subject for now, instead Ken thinks about what he would do about the sleep motive… Someone would likely fall asleep without his information. That would be a pain for everyone.
He could help Kazutoshi without worry, because he could trust he wouldn’t tell people he shouldn’t. He’d liked to tell Wada… but knowing him he’d spill the information over the lightest threat. He’d just have to let him take the fall for his failings there. Isono will eventually become friends with Wada and Tsuno. No way she’ll stay quiet either…
Honestly… Other than Kazutoshi, he didn’t know if he trusted anyone to stay silent about this. Either they’d talk, or he didn’t care to tell them or just didn’t need the information.
He sighs again, this information was becoming more useless as he continued to think about it. The students were too cautious of each other at the moment. Ken had no interest in being a mediator to make them all get along…
He’d just keep the information to himself and Kazutoshi… He’s the only one he cared about anyway.