Chapter Text
“What happened , Chief?!”
Mako , one of the few in the Republic City Police Department or RCPD that didn't decided to take time off asked in a panicked voice. Numbers were low in field officers , so Mako had been drafted for a bust on some Triad activity and just barely got between Lin and a Fire Bender in enough time to stop the guy from either killing or seriously injuring the Chief.
Over the last several months , he had noticed a lot of changes in the Chief. She was slower , more tired , and even seemed to be getting physically weaker. Most days , she walked around like she had a weight tied to her ankles or something. She was in that office nearly all the time , day and night. Lin's eyes had dark circles under them , he knew she wasn't getting much more sleep than the naps he caught her taking when she crashed behind her desk during the evenings. She just had this really dull look about her , like she was there but she wasn't and Mako was getting worried--especially now. Lin Beifong did not fumble , when it came to field jobs. Something was wrong.
Maybe she was sick? Mako didn't want to be the guy to point out how old she was , but maybe he should speak up because Lin was getting up in age and maybe this stuff was something to do with that? Maybe not. He didn't know. All Mako did know was that she needed to see a Healer , before she got herself seriously hurt or killed...that or just dropped dead in the middle of the police station randomly--Mako worried about the third option happening more and more these days , Lin looked really bad.
“I don't know.”
Lin looked away from him , her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she backed away from him. He had put a hand on her shoulder and she wretched away , like his touch burned.
“I think you need to go home and get some rest , that or go by the clinic and see about checking in with a Healer. You aren't looking good , Chief. Something is wrong. I don't mean to be a dick , I'm only saying something because I care.”
The last time he saw the look Lin had in her eyes was back when Korra was in her wheelchair , just after she had been poisoned. Had Lin been poisoned? Was that what was wrong?
“I'm fine....”
Lin mumbled , but she wasn't and she knew she wasn't. Mako swore he saw a tear leaking down her cheek , but that couldn't be--Lin Beifong did not cry , ever.
“Please , Chief , we both know Saikhan sucks as a Chief. Just make sure you're okay , so I don't get stuck taking orders from him.”
Mako attempted to smile , trying to take a joking route to make the situation a little lighter for Lin.
“He would be a better Chief than I've been lately.”
Lin practically whispered , Mako frowned.
If she didn't go to a Healer on her own , he would call up Tenzin and bring the Healer to her!
“Bullshit.”
Lin didn't even bother responding , she just turned and walked away. The triads had gotten away , there was nothing left to do at the scene and she couldn't stand there any longer with him.
“I really hope Kya's still in the area , I need a Healer that knows their stuff for this one.”
Mako mumbled , after Lin was out of earshot.
//
Lin didn't go back to the Station after the incident with the Triads , she went back to her apartment instead and crawled into the bed. She didn't take off her uniform , as she didn't see any reason too--she would be going back into the office in a few hours. Six hours passed by in minutes , for her. She closed her eyes , but she didn't sleep. She wanted to sleep , Spirits knows she wanted to but her brain would not shut the fuck up and let her!
She tossed and turned , her mind playing over everything from incidents in her youth to how differently she could have handled current issues. For some reason , her head decided that bed time was a good time to go over how it was her fault that her family fell apart and she should have done better with Su. She had four nephews and one niece she barely knew , these kids knew her wretched antisocial mother better than they knew her!
Su was just a dumb kid , Lin could have dealt with that situation better. Lin could have reached out more , she could have tried. She could have gone to that meeting her sister and mother invited her to all those years ago.
She thought about Amon and how she could have done this or that differently , all the different scenarios that could have had different outcomes.
She thought about the Red Lotus , even though that mess wasn't even technically on her. All she could do was think that she should have been more focused on Korra than that damn third eye freak , maybe Korra wouldn't have been taken away and poisoned. Ever since being poisoned , that girl has been off and Lin couldn't help but to blame herself. She was supposed to protect Korra , she was supposed to protect everybody--but she didn't! This was the shit that played in her brain over and over and over again , scenarios she could do NOTHING about and still berated herself as though it would magically open up a portal to allow her to go back in time and fix her mistakes. Every. Single. Night.
After finally reaching a point of exhaustion where her body simply shut down , Lin's eyes closed and she delved into the world of nightmares.
Maybe Mako should have let that stupid thug kill her earlier....