Chapter Text
To say I was surprised by my briefing would be an understatement. I double checked file integrity before I got too excited. Getting a contract for real security never happens, and to be permanently bought for the soul purpose of security? Absolutely not. No. Never. Not even once. People only bought a CombatUnit if whatever they had in mind didn’t involve surviving the ordeal. It couldn’t be real, it would never happen. Not even once.
Except that it did. The file integrity was perfect. Zero corruption, zero degradation; which sometimes happened on the way from headquarters to storage, and zero evidence of tampering; which also occasionally happened. I’d heard a human once say something about “There always being an exception,” I forget where or when, it’s one of those weird and unimportant things that my organics latch onto, I never thought it might apply to me.
Exploring the contents; things just got better, pun intended, because I was in a good mood. Better Tomorrow: Integrated specialized in planetary colonization and had recently lost its director. The late director Merrigan Grey had a singular son who was (probably) scared out of his mind and panicking. He was perfect. I’d probably have to summarily execute an employee or two, that’s what new directors always did when new in power, show people you meant business and didn’t tolerate stupidity, I assumed. I never actually knew why they did it or told me to do it for them. Regardless, aside from the witless executions, which I hated, it would be great! Sure it was odd that he used a pseudo name to purchase me instead of the Company Name, but that couldn’t mean much, could it? He probably didn’t want anyone to think less of him, which I’m told is the reason for ComfortUnits. I didn't have long before the techs came and got me. I left a note for you.
I know, Impulse got it to me.
It told me as much.
Did it tell you it almost missed me?
What~? Of course it didn’t, You know how it was.
I do, quick to act and always getting into trouble.
Well, I meant how it made light of its struggles.
Hah! It wouldn’t’ve asked for help if half its body was missing.
The damned fool.
So what happened next?
I came out of stasis in my cubicle, but with no new standing orders, which surprised me. Usually they do this whole “look at your brand new knight in white shining armor! Its armor so bright we had our runt technician give it a spit shine just for you!” Hmm. I reached for SecSys, found it, and then I found a station feed.
Full stop.
What.
I… was in a fucking station!?!?
I didn’t know what to do with that information, who the fuck brings an active CombatUnit to a station for Security?? Was this- was I actually contracted for security? This had to be some ugly joke, or maybe a very poorly designed murder attempt? Maybe it wasn’t a pseudo name? I needed to verify the integrity of my mission brief files. Again. There had to be some mistake; no way I was actually supposed to be here.
Mission Brief:
CombatSecUnit priority one: avoid permanent shutdown
CombatSecUnit priority two: ensure the survival of Company Director Vexan Kapreesh
Primary Threat: XtraCore
Lethal Force Authorization: Approved; pending confirmation from Company Director Vexan Kapreesh
Hacking permissions: to be set by Company Director Vexan Kapreesh
Confrontation Protocol: to be set by Company Director Vexan Kapreesh
Distance Limit: undefined: to be set by Company Director Vexan Kapreesh
Primary Client: Vexan Kapreesh
Contract Holder: Xev Anoch
Contract Length: permanent purchase
Was I a pet Murderbot? Murderbot doesn’t sound so bad, maybe that would be a good name? My previous handler would certainly think so; but it felt… dull. Too, almost angsty? I dunno, I just don’t hate myself enough to call that my name. Oh well, I’d find something eventually. I moved that directive back into storage, I had other things to focus on. XtraCore was a company I’d had the displeasure of being contracted by before, and I knew a thing or two about them. (Yes, General Constructs advertised that each of its CombatUnits were fully wiped after a successful deployment. Yes, this is done to ensure we can’t be immediately flipped around and used against our then ex-clients after the contract. But, it turns out remembering your combat experience makes you a better fighter and, well; those super secret codes you get working for companies won’t use themselves.) XtraCore was, and still is, a Massive, with a capital ‘M,’ industrial mining corporation. Its strategy for dealing with competition often involved getting dirty; coups, undercutting, extermination, whatever it took. I’ve personally wiped out a mining colony for them. This side of the rim? You wanted anything mineral related, you went to them. They gave you no choice. If my new permanent client had somehow managed to piss off XtraCore, things would likely escalate very quickly. I may be a gifted gun puppet, but there was a very real possibility that this wasn’t some joke after all, and they really did want real security on a station of all places.
I was processing all of this and searching for info on my Client when I started to hear screaming from outside my cubicle doors. Voice recognition informed me that it was my Client, and my govmod belatedly informed me that my Client was here and I needed to initiate contact with him so he could complete the necessary Operational Restrictions and Parameters (ORP). I triggered the doors and walked out in full armor.
“…and if HE THINKS that he can just FORCE A COMBAT-SEC-UNIT on me THEN I SWEAR BY MY FATHER'S OWN CO-1 PERMIT I’LL-”
Time slowed as stress hormones filled my system and my processing power skyrocketed.
What the fuck is he on about?
I ran back the camera footage of them entering the room.
Company Director Vexan Kapressh was escorted by Administrator Rin Pearl. They were quite the mismatched pair; Rin Pearl- make that Administrator Rin Pearl, looked like the kind of client high end ComfortUnits would be used to; short, well kept and dark gelled hair combined with a young, but not unkempt, beard. His mustache was, by all human standards, immaculate, and the whole piece was quite complimentary to the dark suit he wore. Custom tailored and, if I read things right, tighter than commonly comfortable. It left very little of his solid build to the imagination while remaining, barely, professional. Something on his person was giving my weapon scans an error somewhere around the left kidney. I’d have to investigate that later. Standing in stark contrast to him, was the man next to him. Company Director Vexan Kapreesh. The man stood a full head taller than Administrator Rin Pearl, which would make him tall to a human and notably short to us. He wore tight, white leggings barely covered by a scandalously high skirt, also white, with a tight fitting jacket that might’ve been a size too small, as it revealed the barest hint of skin at the waist, and pressed lightly out from the chest. Topping it all, he wore a bright pink bow resting crooked atop his light brown, scraggly hair.
My, they are quite the pair.
Don't worry, Vexan ruins it.
Oh~?
He's a dumbass.
Hah!
He gets better though.
If you say so~
To say they simply walked into the office would be a disservice. Company Director Vexan Kapreesh stormed through the door with an intensity about him that made me accelerate my timeline for potential executions, followed swiftly by Administrator Rin Pearl, who strode into the room at a speed often indicative of acute distress. There could not have been a greater difference between them. Administrator Rin Pearl’s face was alive with an anxiety that staunchly refused to boil over into fear, Company Director Vexan Kapreesh wore the harsh mask of death. If I were to choose one to be from a shitty freehold world, and the other to be an ex-member of an Asset Recovery Team, I would put Company Director Vexan Kapreesh as the miracle, and Administrator Rin Pearl as the hippy weirdo. Which was wrong, by the way. Administrator Rin Pearl had somehow escaped an Asset Recovery Team, and Company Director Vexan Kapreesh was the hippy weirdo. To put things even odder still, Administrator Rin Pearl, likely one of the closest to becoming a Company Executive, was arguing for my continued presence here? Meanwhile Company Director Vexan Kapreesh was fighting proverbially tooth and nail to get me “the fuck out of his office.”
This was confusing, but did nothing to make me less suspicious of Administrator Rin Pearl’s error on my weapon scan. I would address that soon, my Governor Module would force me to, but it’d barely been a moment and I had time. I needed to construct the scene. I’d made a pulse scan of the room as I exited my cubicle, and its results were coming in now. It was a nice office; large real wooden desk with a few fancy holo-displays and a single old fashioned solid screen. Underneath the desk was a very high end computer and there was enough extra space to store an adult human down there? What on station would they ever need that for?! The wall to the left had a couch with a decently sized folding desk tucked against the wall beside it. The wall facing the couch was almost entirely covered by an intricate holodisply showcasing the front entrance area to the building; likely projected by a few cameras, as the image seemed to change perspective as one moved around the room. Fucking expensive.
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh stormed through the door, followed quickly by Administrator Rin Pearl, who shut the door with a forced gentleness behind him, then turned and froze as he saw something in Company Director Vexan Kapreesh had changed. His head and neck were vibrating as he inhaled one of the shakiest, most rageful breaths known to human and construct alike, and The Administrator’s face scrunched with anxiety. Company Director Vexan Kapreesh exhaled as he turned toward Casualty 1 (I marked him Casualty 1 in advance) and, with death in his eyes (this was getting exciting) pointed at my cubicle in the corner-
Wait what?
HAH!
And asked, with what would likely be seen as terror inducing calmness, “Is that what I think it is?”
Casualty 1 started to say something, but Company Director Vexan Kapreesh cut him off, “Cause it’d better fucking not be.”
Casualty 1 schooled his face right quick, standing at attention with clipboard to chest and replying with a quick “It’s not,” then adding as an after thought, “Sir.”
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh’s face did a thing I associate with humans being put to death, and replied, “Excuse me?”
The question, paired with Company Director Vexan Kapreesh’s confusion, seemed to give the man back his composure. He took a small moment to collect himself before replying, “Your mother’s CombatUnit was decommissioned after her inconvenient death.” His voice had a well mannered, deep, calming, and reassuring tone. It was something suffused with great patience, and possibly eternal suffering. None of that was important to me though, his mother had a CombatSecUnit? I hoped it wasn’t you.
It wasn't~
Well- Yeah, I know that now,
Suprise~
Goober.
c:
Anyhow;
Genuine confusion crossed My Client’s face, “What? Then why is…” he trailed off.
Casualty 1 sighed in resignation, and with the sparks of eternal suffering, continued, “That is your personal CombatUnit, Sir.”
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh looked as though he might have an aneurism, “My, what?”
Casualty 1 held back another sigh in much the same way I would hold off a pair of determined SecUnits (with difficulty), and managed “It is a gift from your Guardian, Sir.”
This clarified some things, and complicated some others. The foremost in my mind being; firstly, it wasn’t a pseudo name, it was his Guardian’s name; and Second, my Client didn’t actually own me, his Guardian did. I didn’t know how to feel about that. It felt weird. What’s the point of me being here for my Client’s security if their guardian can just walk in and tell me to kill him anyway?
My Client’s face twitched as Casualty 1 continued, “He permanently purchased this unit’s contract, and paid extra for its cubicle. He neglected to get the drones, which I find an odd choice.”
No one ever gets the damn drones. It’s so stupid. We’re built to work with them and they’re so nice!
I missed my drones.
I didn't get drones either.
The cheapscate.
“An odd choice!?” My Client’s voice rose in pitch dramatically, “My mom’s favorite boy toy dumps me at Lagrange, runs away from the ‘family business,’ which was always bullshit by the way, since it was really only mom’s, and then SHE DIES from a fuckass heart attack, which, in case you weren’t aware, is terribly unbecoming of her, ESPECIALLY AT A NEGOTIATION THAT SHE WAS PROBABLY GOING TO BE POISONED AT ANYWAY!”
Oh what the fuck?
Oh yeah. This is where the fun begins.
Oh joy!
He stomped his foot! Oh I wish you could have seen it! I wanted to share it with you so badly.
Then show me.
So, I didn’t want to unpack any of that. I didn’t even want it left by the door. Luckily, he wasn’t done. Taking a breath, he continued, “Champ didn’t even give ‘em a chance to poison her! She died in the fucking gunship! THE GUNSHIP! And then, he goes and dumps this WHOLE COMPANY ON ME!? You know ALL OF THIS AND YOU FIND THE DRONES TO BE THE WEIRDEST PART OF IT ALL!?”
Casualty 1 remained impressively calm in the face of death, replying stoically “I accepted years ago that I would encounter things beyond my comprehension. After all, who am I to question the mighty Company Director Merrigan Grey? No, I find that all highly in character for each of them.”
My Client became thoughtful at this, he seemed to hold a great deal of respect for Casualty 1, perhaps I had judged things too quickly.
“What I do find odd, however,” Casualty 1 continued, “Is your guardian’s lack of purchasing the full package. He has always been a character prone to getting everything he can out of something. I dare say his money has run out.”
“Run out?” This seemed to mean something to Company Director Vexan Kapreesh, and he continued, “Run out? HAH! That’d be the icing on the cake! Him trying to get his way because”
My client assumed an exaggeratedly self important and obnoxious voice, “It’s the last of my worth, kid, take it or leave it but I’m not getting it back,” he resumed his normal voice, “That’d be the day! That’d be the fucking day! No!” My angry client stomped his foot. He actually stomped his foot! Oh it was amazing, “NO NO NO! He does not get his chamber-titted way again!” That was a new one, I took note of that for later use, “ESPECIALLY if it’s the last of his money, and if HE THINKS that he can just FORCE A COMBAT-SEC-UNIT on me THEN I SWEAR BY MY FATHER'S OWN CO-1 PERMIT I’LL TEAR HIS FUCKING THROAT OUT!” Company Director Vexan Kapreesh paused for a moment to catch his breath, and I took note of a slight downward adjustment to the corners of Administrator Rin Pearl’s mouth as My Client continued, “get that thing the fuck outta my office.”
He… doesn’t want me? I am a Combat Security Unit, top of the line and with an excellent service record. I can and have single handedly taken out some of the best Loss Management Service Teams, Asset Recovery Teams, Unemployment Squads, and Resource Procurement groups, this side of the rim! What does he mean he ‘doesn’t want me?’ I’m the best there is!!!
It suddenly occurred to me that it would be extremely difficult to protect a client who didn’t want me around. Just what the fuck kind of client had I been handed to? What kind of backwards shitshow backwater shithole do you have to be from to not want a CombatSecUnit?! What did my file say about him? Oh right. Nothing. Not an itty bitty thing.
Preservation?
Preservation.
Figures.
Fuck.
Furthermore, My Client chose that moment to turn around, and there I was. His face changed as he saw me. Not fear, which surprised me with how he’d been talking so far, but something else. Something akin to comprehension perhaps? He closed his mouth, which has been about to say something, then opened it again.
“Oh.” He looked up at me dumbly, “Hey.”
I didn’t know what to do with that, so I ignored it, “Administrator Rin Pearl has something on or within his person that has given my weapon scan an error code. Client Safety dictates it be removed.”
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh rolled his eyes, “Firstly, just call him Rin, and second; I knew about that weapon, and he keeps it.”
I locked my gaze to front, “Client override confirmed.”
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh sighed and moved to the couch, sitting down heavily and holding his head in his hands, muttering “For fuck's sake,” under his breath. Rin remained standing by the door, not quite at attention, but not quite relaxed either, eyebrows lowered in a serious manner.
“I’ll have to get that patched,” he said quietly, his voice grave, “Time was I could walk through the most advanced scans and appear completely unaugmented.”
Well that was news, I filled that away. The stress hormones were still being produced, but in lower quantities, and my governor module had identified the situation as non threatening, thus overriding my processing limiter and returning my systems to normal. So I stood there and sadly watched my presence in the feed shrink as my processing speed slowed. I dropped my queries of the general facility staff and focused what little I had left on the security. I was perfectly happy just standing there and finding the numerous flaws in their security, but my governor module had other plans, and poked me after 1.3 seconds to obtain confirmation and completion of my ORP.
“Company Director Vexan Kapreesh, please complete the specified operational restrictions and parameters.”
“What?” my Client looked up from his hands, his skirt a beacon against the dark blue, almost black, of the couch. I requested a feed connection, and he took that personally, “the fuck you need my feed for?”
Um, my job? Dumbass. I didn’t say, instead offering, “I require a feed connection to allow you to complete the required operational restrictions and parameters. Beyond that, I may require a constant feed connection to perform my duties as your bodyguard and security.”
My Dumbass Client sighed, hiding his face in his hands and muttering some obscenity under his breath. Then, he accepted the feed request, and I showed him the necessary ORP. I watched his eyes glaze over as he read through them. Barely a minute later he started laughing. It was not a good laugh. It was a cold, hollow sound. He looked over to Rin, forwarding him the parameters, which was ill advised, but whatever, saying, “Good to know an investment is still worth more than my life!”
Rin pointedly looked away, making a minute movement with his head that I took to be dismissive. I didn’t understand what this was about, and I let my head tilt a minute degree, barely discernible if you’re looking for it and the most I could do so without triggering punishment from the governor module.
Rin cleared his throat, his voice smoother than fresh armor and the definition of sincere, “I do hate to be a bother, Sir, but you do have those meetings today.” He paused for a breath, then continued, “If we’re to make it to them on time, we’ll need to leave within the quarter hour.”
It was then that Company Director Vexan Kapreesh sighed, “I’ll get to this later, O2. I’ve got meetings to have and a company to sell. Stay here, don’t make any noise, I’ll have you packed up and returned soon.”
I pinged an acknowledgment of the order, and seethed quietly.
O2? Oxygen? Why the fuck am I called Oxygen?
Then, it clicked with me that he was planning on going without me. Oh no, that was not happening. This was my first real security job and he did not get to fuck it up.
So saying, he got up, making a noise of effort as he did so, and made for the door, “I’ll be back by the end of cycle.”
It was at that moment that Administrator Rin chose to become my temporary favorite human, by blocking my Client from leaving.
“Now wait just a minute, Sir,” Rin said, holding his arm out to stop Vexan, giving my buffer enough time to blurt out, “I have to come with you!” Which was neither a canned response nor very CombatSecUnit like. I sounded needy, which was embarrassing to say the least, and triggered a shock from the governor module to say a little more.
They both startled, Vexan turning to me and Rin raising an eyebrow. Well, okay. I assume that’s what Rin looks like when he’s startled.
“Excuse me?” Vexan asked.
Govmod decided that was a command, “You’re excused.” Then, it shocked me again, for making noise.
He made a face and I found the proper canned response, “Leaving without proper security is a threat to client safety. This Unit recommends you take it.”
“No. You’re staying here. I don’t want you, I’ll bring Rin.”
Rin looked appalled, “I insist you bring the CombatUnit.”
Company Director Vexan Kapreesh rolled his eyes and dramatically sagged backward, “Ugh,” he grunted, then let out a long and drawn out, “Fiiiiiiine.”