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Quiet. It was a word that defined many a thing. But it had never defined Golden. Not before. Now, it seemed to fit eerily well.
He'd been reticent since the Christmas party - which was now a concerning three days ago. Three days of noiselessness spent prostrated and brooding. The Golden that Julia knew would never waste so much time doing nothing, but here he was, almost disconsolate. Maybe he'd remembered something he shouldn't have - if the haunted look on his face was anything to go by.
She'd lost count of how many times she'd worriedly checked in on him. Each time, she'd reach out gingerly; each time, he'd let out that huff of disinterest and turn over to face his back in her direction. Each time she felt the same sting of helplessness.
His self-imposed isolation hadn't been detrimental to just himself, either. Blue was beyond despondent; Beta had started singing and smiling less; even Mean seemed to tread a bit more cautiously now. Julia hadn't realized just how much of an influence Golden had on their inner circle until that influence was gone.
He hadn't spoken a word to Blue or his family in the last day, leaving the former crushed. He'd shake his head when Julia suggested they could practice singing - and anyone who knew Golden would say that he never backed down from singing, or any sort of challenge. This... Didn't feel like him.
"Gold... You've gotta talk to me." She would murmur, the words painfully familiar - she uttered them every day, after all. "Please. Just one word..." It was practically a plea, but it did nothing to sway even a lick of sympathy in his heart. He would just toss over, restless and agitated.
Nothing anyone did seemed to stir him. Julia had been frantically looking for a sign of something, anything from the past few days that she'd said or done something to upset him. This couldn't just happen out of nowhere, could it? There had to be a reason.
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Quiet. It wasn't a word that Golden would ever ascribe to his person. He was the living embodiment of energy and overconfidence, unswerving and always one step ahead. Nothing stopped him.
Nothing, of course, other than his own mind.
He'd first remembered them three days ago. Ruby. He remembered the stark blood slipping between his fingers as he clutched their body, shaking and covered in liquid life. He remembered the parasite that had ravaged their body until all that was left was a broken cadaver. He hated that he wished he didn't remember.
But he wasn't stupid. Unobservant, sure; but stupid? He was still alive for a reason. He knew what Julia and the others assumed of him. They were merely concerned, that he knew, but he could see it in the furrow of Julia's brow. They all thought he was depressed - which, now that he thought about it, wasn't too far off... He had been lowering his walls a bit too much lately.
He was in too deep to flake out now. His friends weren't stupid, either; they'd see straight through him if he just started acting like himself again. Either way, he was unsure just how convincing he'd be, especially with so much on his mind.
Because this isn’t the first time you have fought one of my kind. Those words the parasite hissed had haunted Golden since the second they were spoken. The headache from before only worsened, becoming a constant pain whenever he thought about enforcers again. Just what were they? Why did it hurt so bad to think about? It felt like he was getting hit by every car on the road and then tossed under a boulder.
Soon enough, it became impossible not to think about it all, and that was when the headaches got worse. He'd flinch away from bright lights, waver when standing up, and jerk away from sudden voices. At some point, he'd been convinced he was dying, and had tried to look up his symptoms; the glow of his phone felt like a million needles in his temples, and he'd chucked the device across the room. I still need to pay Blue back for that one.
The amount of things he'd tried had gotten to be absurd. Meditation was fine until the incense he'd lit triggered the sprinklers; lying under a pile of blankets had worked wonders for the headache until a curious blue head had anxiously peeked into the fort; he'd even been so desperate that he'd turned to Reddit - of course, the responses he did receive were calling him insane for stating he was an alien. He was still mad about that.
The fourth day wasn't spent suffering as much as Golden had expected, much to his surprise.
He'd awoken when a familiar face loomed over him. Upon peeling his eyes open, he was surprised to be met face-to-face with Mean.
"You have a migraine, don't you?" It was spoken as a statement, not a question.
Golden frowned, tilting his head - and immediately wincing at the movement. "A what...?" His voice was admittedly hoarse from lack of use.
Mean seemed unbothered by the cluelessness. "A severe headache," he clarified, fists clenched lightly over something in his palm.
That makes a lot more sense. Golden gave a quick thumbs-up.
"Sit up a little. Just for a minute." Mean's voice was firm yet absurdly soft. As Golden complied, he dropped two capsules in the little alien's hand. "These are painkillers. You swallow them with water, and they negate the pain," he explained patiently.
Golden's eyes widened. There was a way to relieve his migraine this whole time, and he hadn't known of it? He squinted hopefully at the tiny capsules as he completely disregarded the instructions and swallowed the pills dry.
Mean looked about ready to yell before taking a breath. "You're an idiot," he scoffed, audibly amused as he set down the cup of water he'd gotten for Golden.
The jab stirred a chuckle from him. It was the first time since the incident that someone had treated him as an equal, instead of a vulnerable coward in need of shelter or comfort. "I know, man," he muttered back, voice still a bit raspy. "...thanks for all this."
Mean just nodded noncommittally. "Don't mention it, dude," he said. As if to accentuate his point, he leaned in. "Seriously. Do not mention this to anyone."
Golden let out a hearty laugh, mildly intimidated but mostly amused. "Yes, sir," he joked, hand lifted in a salute.
Mean's smile loosened into his usual smirk as he returned the salute, exiting the room and closing the door behind him.
Once again, Golden was left on his lonesome. It should have felt empty and painful like it was supposed to, but it didn't. He felt excited, like a fire had been re-ignited in his chest.
Headache be damned, he decided as he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. I've gotta practice.
As he too took off for the door, he realized he didn't have a particular set goal in mind. That's okay, he thought. I want to chase this feeling forever. I don't care where it takes me.