Chapter Text
TW: Heavy themes, mention of death, light sexual content (very light)
“Here, Megs.” You handed the teenager his backpack from your back seat as he exited your car.
“Thanks.” He said slinging it over his shoulder. “Love you.”
“Love you!” You called to him.
Before you could get back in your car to leave, the person who you’d spent the majority of the last 5 years avoiding walked out of the Fushiguro home wearing gym clothes and looking as if he just woke up. You froze before opening your car door.
“Hey!” He called to you.
Your hand stopped, still on the door before you turned to face your ex fiance.
“What?” You asked him flatly.
Megumi made eye contact with you from behind his father where he stood backpack still in hand.
“Why is my son with you?” Toji asked.
You sighed. “Well he wouldn’t be if you would remember things that are important to him like awards day at school.”
Toji looked back at his son: a mirror image of the man in front of you.
“That was today?” He asked.
Megumi nodded in response. He was hurt by the lack of attentiveness from his dad. This had been true for years, but since you and Toji split, it had escalated.
“Sorry, Kid.” The tone of your ex’s voice pulled at your heartstrings. He wasn’t a bad guy, or even a bad father, he was just a busy man who had a crazy job. Things fell through the cracks. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Megumi was what usually slipped through.
“It’s ok.” The teenager lowered his head. “YN was there.”
Toji’s facial expression gave away his true feelings on that statement: it hurt.
“I’ll see you later, Megs.” You said to your stepson before getting back in your car and driving away.
The next time you saw your ex was when you dropped Megumi off after Toji forgot to pick him up from school. This time was different. Megumi was pissed. He’s been angry before, sure, but nothing like this.
“What if we went to get some dinner?” You suggested. “Or we could order pizza and watch a movie at my house?”
“Will you just take me home?” Megumi’s tearful eyes made you feel nauseous.
“Yeah, Baby.” You replied reaching over to lightly squeeze his cheeks in your hand.
Before the breakup, you had helped raise Toji’s son from the time he was 2 years old. Now, he was 15, and even though you were no longer with his father, the two of you still had a relationship. You weren’t able to see him as often as either of you wanted, but you did what you could without trying to assert yourself too far into a role that you didn’t feel you were allowed to fill.
When you arrived at the house and walked him in, you fully expected to give your ex a piece of your mind; however, his son beat you to it.
“Dad!” He screamed as he flung the door of the house open.
“Megs!” You called after him.
Toji’s head jerked up from where he had been sleeping on the couch.
“Huh?” He asked confused.
“Where were you!” Megumi’s voice was rough with emotion as he screamed at his half asleep father. “You were supposed to be there! You said you’d be there!” He threw his backpack at Toji.
“Megs, shit! What time is it?” He checked his phone. “I’m sorry, Buddy. I’m sorry. I messed up.”
You covered your mouth with your hand from where you stood in the entrance of the living room watching the relationship of two of the most important people in your life unravel before your eyes.
“No! You always do this!” Megumi continued. “You say you’ll be there, but you never are! You mess up everything!” You hadn’t seen this boy so hysterical…well, ever. He was very practical and put together even as a small child, but this outburst was long coming. He had grown tired of excuses and being passed over.
“Megumi.” You said in attempt to stop this from escalating.
“It’s ok.” Toji held his hand out to stop you from interfering. “Go on, Son.”
“You always forget about me.” Megumi continued. “I’m never important enough to you. You ruin everything!”
“What did I ruin?” Toji asked. He wasn’t being sarcastic, it seemed like he genuinely wanted the answer.
“Everything. You don’t show up. I get left places because you’re too tired to pick me up. And to top it all off, you ruined any chances I ever had at having a mom.”
“Megumi!” You shouted.
You knew that Toji’s wife had died shortly after their son was born. According to people who had known them both, when she died, part of him died with her. You never knew her of course, but you did know how much he hurt from losing her. Even years later, it was his biggest heartbreak.
“How could you say that?” You asked your stepson. “I know you’re angry, but your dad had no control over your mother dying. That is a terrible thing to say.”
“I wasn’t talking about her.” Megs said much calmer now though no less angry. “Obviously that wasn’t his fault. I was talking about you.”
Your jaw dropped. You and Megumi had a great relationship. Truthfully, you did see him as your child, but you never pushed him to view you as a parent. He never spoke of you that way, always calling you by name, and referring to you as such to his friends as well. That was fine. He had a mother and you would never try to replace her. Him saying this now was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.
“How did I ruin that? Didn’t she just pick you up from school?” Toji asked.
“She did, but if you weren’t so shitty to her, she would still be here! I want to see her every day. I want her to live here. I want her to be my mom, not your ex girlfriend that still takes pity on the kid with no mom and a dad who can’t get his shit together.”
“Us breaking up had nothing to do with you.” Toji clarified. “And I would never keep you from her. She’s still in your life.”
“I know that! It was you!” Megumi yelled. “You are the least self aware person I’ve ever met. You treated her like crap and then blamed her for leaving you. Anyone would have left you. She stayed longer than most people would have and instead of fucking worshipping the ground she walked on like you should have done with all you put her through, you just gave the fuck up! She left and I got stuck with the shittier parent who doesn’t do anything for me or love me or know anything about me just because you and I happen to share blood and she and I don’t. It’s bullshit! I’m more her kid than yours!”
The room fell silent. All three of you stood in the living room of the house you once called home all waiting for someone else to fill the silence that followed Megumi’s feelings.
“You think I don’t love you?” Toji finally was the first to speak.
“I don’t know, Dad. Do you?” The teenager asked. His eyes were full of pain and tears as he looked at his father.
“Of course I do.” You had rarely seen Toji emotional. He was stoic and didn’t like for people to see him for himself. He wore a mask that was almost impenetrable. ‘Almost’ because his son broke right through it.
“Then you have a terrible way of showing it. Maybe that’s your problem, Dad. You don’t know how to love anybody. Not me, not YN, no one.” Megumi stormed out of the room leaving you and Toji standing in silence.
“Uhm.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll go.” You moved to the door, but Toji’s voice stopped you.
“YN?” His voice was thick with emotion and held back tears.
“Yeah?” You turned to face him.
“Is that true? What he just said. Was I that awful to you? Did I push you away?”
You leaned against the door frame as you stared at the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with.
“Yeah.” You answered honestly. “I mean, you weren’t horrible to me. It was just…I was never a priority, or even a thought sometimes. You were always too busy and too in your own head to care for someone else. It was lonely.”
He nodded. “I did lo- I do love you. I’m sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t.”
“Thank you, Toji. And for the record, I knew that. You were just really bad at showing it.”
“What do I do now? How can I be better? I don’t want my son to hate me, YN. I’ve already blown it with you, I can’t blow it with him.” Toji looked utterly broken.
“You have to make it up to him.” You said. “You have to change and you have to mean it.”
He nodded.
“Also, just so you know, you haven’t blown it with me. Not completely.”
His eyes met yours and you felt like you were home.
“Yeah?” He asked.
“Make it up to him first. Then we’ll see.” You told him.
“Right.” He agreed.
“And Toji?” You called over your shoulder.
“Hmm?” He responded.
“I fully expect there to be groveling. Maybe even begging.” You teased.
He stood up from the couch and walked to meet you at the door.
“If the end result is you back in this house with me, I’ll do anything you want.” His voice was low and seductive. It made you press your thighs together.
“Then fix things with Megs.” You pushed at his chest before walking out the door and to your car.
‘I’ll do anything you want.’ His voice played in your head and you had to actively stop your brain from conjuring images of you and Toji making that promise come true.
“You better fix this quick, Old Man.”
Author’s Note: I feel like this needs a part 2 where ‘anything you want’ becomes reality. What do you guys think??