Chapter Text
Shane was speaking with the press when he became aware of a distant commotion, of the "Harris begging Ilya not to do whatever he was trying to" variety, which sounded like it was getting closer.
Ilya appeared in the open doorway, shirtless and glistening in a way that made Shane want to lick him and also punch him for the amount of effort he had to put into not getting hard on camera.
"Hey Shane, now that I've moved, want to finally go on that date with me?"
Shane rolled his eyes, Hockey Robot Press Mask dropping in a way the media had never seen before.
"You were serious about that?"
Ilya raised his eyebrows incredulously.
"I moved to Ottawa, Hollander."
Shane slowly looked him up and down, hyperconscious of the reporters he was allowing to watch him check out and visibly "debate" going on a date with his boyfriend. It was only thanks to Rose's training that he was able to pull off the exact level of consideration and nonchalance that he needed to sell it.
"Yeah, okay."
Marcel, the Metro's media manager, made a face like he bit a lemon and the lemon threatened to fuck his mother. He grabbed Shane by the shoulder, steering him out the other door back towards the visitor locker room.
Cameras flashed as the reporters reacted, each trying to yell out questions. Harris, who followed Ilya too late to stop the train wreck but was willing to roll up his sleeves and help the survivors, motioned for them to settle down. Ilya eyed everyone impassively, waiting to speak until Harris indicated which reporters he would allow to ask a question.
"You've asked Shane Hollander out before?" To the reporter's credit, she made it sound like a normal question, not betraying the level of shock and excitement being tattled on by her face.
"Yes yes. I say for years 'Hollander, if you love hockey so much, why don’t you marry it? I’m the closest you're going to get.' He says he's not willing to date a Raider, so here I am. Also something about Russia arresting me, wasn't going to risk me getting deported." He blew a raspberry to show how he felt about that insufficient argument.
"You moved away from a cup contending team to try to date your rival?" Harris would not be allowing that correspondent back. The sneer he wore was as ugly as his suit.
"He is second best player in the league. And extremely hot and funny. Of course I did. Who else is going to be more perfect for us than each other?"
A few months ago:
"Shane. Shane. I have the best idea on how to come out." Ilya’s gleeful tone about the serious subject did not bode well for Shane's next few minutes of relaxing, despite laying face down plastered on top of his shirtless boyfriend on the couch.
"We have statements prepared already. What do you want to do instead?" He lifted his head from its place tucked into Ilya's neck to look at him.
"I court you. Very publicly."
"What? Court? Have you been watching period dramas with Cliff again?"
"Yes but shh, not the point. I ask you out in front of journalists. Say I've been trying for years but you didn't want long distance or something, something Shane Hollander practical. Russia. Didn't feel safe being first out player. Loyalty to Montreal. You thought I was fuckboy and didn't take me seriously. Lots of good reasons to say no to me until now."
"What the fuck? Why would we pretend to start dating now instead of telling people how long we've been together?"
"It's funny!"
"Fuck off, give me some real reasons."
"People can't say we betrayed trust by hiding for years. Everyone watches it happen organically-"
"Ooh, organically." Ilya would never admit how much he loved when Shane was impressed by his word choice, or that he'd spent several years looking up words that might impress him. Not in the New Yorker, but reading the dictionary might be even worse, so he would be taking that secret to the grave.
"-so everyone follows narrative as it builds. They think they’re watching from day one and cheering us on, and I get to finally take you on dates. I get to show off I convinced Shane Hollander to give me a chance, but we get to keep our past to ourselves. And, it will be very funny."
Shane smiled at Ilya’s fervent devotion (and how much he delighted in being a menace), but wasn't distracted from the initial doom spiral he was still working through, unable to appreciate the humor yet.
"Won't they say you’ve been throwing games for me, but just one-sided instead of both of us like we're prepared for? Or when you get the Centaurs into shape, think I might be throwing games for you now that we're dating? We've got the stats to back up we never went easy on each other before now. Can we do that moving forward?"
"Nothing would make you not want to have sex with me more than bad hockey. We use your obsession of the game to shut down all naysayers."
"Naysayers? Where did that come from?"
"Rose. She'd help. And Sveta and Yuna and David. Cliff would be thrilled. Pike would be forced to by Jackie if he won't willingly. This is a good plan. Everyone in the hockey world knows how you are about hockey. If I play part of fool wanting someone who loves hockey more than anything else, no one will question it."
Shane went quiet, processing. He climbed off of Ilya before manhandling him up (Ilya tried to focus on the seriousness of the talk and not how hot it was for Shane to move him so easily) into a sitting position, laying down with his face in Ilya's lap, forehead pressed to his hip (this was not helping Ilya's goal to not get hard during important discussions, as he knew this was a comfort thing for Shane).
"You really think that will work?"
"Yes. Is a bad idea. But in the best way possible."
Shane rolled onto his back, making eye contact with Ilya.
"A lot of our bad ideas did turn out pretty good. Let's run it by my parents and Farah first, but yes. This is dumb and ridiculous, but I love you and I'm tired of hiding it."
"You sure? We can wait if you're not ready. Just because I've wanted to since my residency was sorted doesn't mean we have to come out earlier than we planned."
"We're both jealous of Scott and Kip and I know that's eating you alive."
"Mm, jealous of old man that needs to be helped onto the ice."
"He’s not that old." Shane rebutted because it was habit, not from any particularly strong belief in what he was saying. "And he'll help us with what he can. The team took it well when I came out to them and everyone that coached at camp this summer sent stories raving about how great you are to the Metros group chat, so they'll have my back against management if they cause any problems. I'm no longer as worried that we'll lose our whole careers by doing this; Farah and Mom will legally destroy Cromwell if necessary."
"I am irresistible." He leaned down to kiss Shane, laughing at his scrunched nose. "We are two best players. They can't afford to get rid of us."
"What if someone figures out we've been together for a while?"
"If someone we know and trust, be honest. If a nobody, then we lie. Simple."
"I don't think you know what 'simple' means."
"Anyone with enough context to figure us out can probably be trusted. Maybe a few diehard hollanovs will claim it was sooner but no one will believe them. It will be okay." Ilya reassured Shane as he turned to press his face back into his lap, Ilya combing through his hair. He watched Shane think for a bit, digesting everything until acceptance settled over him. Ilya never let himself hope he could get this, planning a life together with someone he loved, and here he was discussing a way to come out, watching as his lover (he can still think the word, Shane didn't have to know) embraced the idea of pranking the world instead of a curated social media statement.
Shane cracked one eye open.
"…Hollanovs?"
Now:
Hollanov REAL @dreamsofhollanov
Be cool be cool IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM
@hollhollhollanov
bestie I fear I will never be calm again
Cbat @howdowepucktothis
Asking out your rival on live tv is a mind game the hockey world hasn't seen before but I'm into it
Dominant and Breeding @BostonGirlie69
Rozanov admitted to leaving Boston to seduce his long-time rival? Was he throwing games when he was there???
@Rozanov81☑️
No. Nothing turns Shane Hollander off like bad hockey. Would never do anything but play best against him if I wanted a chance
Go Cens! @gogogadgetcentaurs
Did Rozanov just out himself and Hollander?? Is Hollander even gay???
@ShaneHollander24☑️
I'm not Marie-Phillip Poulin's type so I may settle for Rozanov.@gogogadgetcentaurs
So you do like men?????@ShaneHollander24☑️
I like hockey.
Keviiiiiiin @kevinisin
Even if it is a prank, I'm impressed Rozanov was able to get Hollander to drop his Media Mask. Yuna Hollander must be blowing up his phone for multiple reasons right now
Rozpunzel @rozpunzelfreeyourcurls
rozanov woke up today and chose violence
@puckgoblin
He plays hockey, that's a given@rozpunzelfreeyourcurls
bestie where have you been all day?@puckgoblin
At work and didn't have access to my phone@puckgoblin
HE DID WHAT
We got Roz?? @goc3nt4urs
alexa play all i do is win
Cup Chance Increased 100% @c3nc3nc3ntennial
I wasn't even sure if they were honest about being friends wtf is happening
fucking traitor @raidersofthelostpuck
@Rozanov81 ruined his life and chances of getting the cup again to try to get that rival bussy
@Rozanov81☑️
[Picture of Shane from a magazine photoshoot, standing shirtless on the ice biting a glove.]
Can you blame me? 🥵🥵@raidersofthelostpuck
No@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
No@jackiepike
No@Jackieshusband35☑️
No@shmybflivesincanada
No@hammersmithtime☑️
No@RoseLandryOfficial☑️
No@2481tips105
No@ConnorConnors☑️
No@kantletgoalsin#33☑️
No
No Bummers @MidnightAmendments
Rivals to Friends to Lovers next stage unlocked LETS FUCKING GO
Mark the Metro @metrosdoitin4
Since when is Golden Boy gay? He dated Rose Landry!
@shaydenisrealnotclickbait
Since he started feeling things for Hayden his rookie year of course. Poor Hayden. I hope Shane was just joking to mess with R*z*n*v and they didn't break up@metrosdoitin4
What the actual fuck are you talking about? Pike is married to a woman? Why did you censor Rozanov's name?@shaydenisrealnotclickbait
Jackie Pike is a paid actress to hide their love and Rose Landry was an unwitting beard but if you want to live in heteronormative world I can't stop you from being wrong@metrosdoitin4
I'm not homophobic but I am phobic of whatever you believe in jfc
James @jamesjonahjingleheimerjameson
Roz got waaaaaaay too much pussy to be gay
@Rozanov81☑️
True I am bisexual@jamesjonahjingleheimerjameson
Not what I meant but also hi????@Rozanov81☑️
Hello. Don't be biphobic
Shayden Lives @shaydenisrealnotclickbait
Nooooooo Shane don't fall for it, your true love is waiting for you to return to him!!!!!
Names are Hell @doesanyoneactuallyreadthese
weird ass prank for sure
Please Date Me Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
Yes me asking out Hollander was real. Not a joke. I am ultimate hollanov shipper and it was time to not let my dreams stay dreams
@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
You saying it like this makes it seem like a joke@Rozanov81☑️
I, Ilya Rozanov, Captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, best hockey player in the league, am bisexual and shooting my shot for @ShaneHollander24@Rozanov81☑️
Is that official enough for you Marly? TMZ? ESPN?
Marly #7 @ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
Yeah, Roz has been thirsting after Hollander for years. So many pre-game speeches were about how we need to win to prove to Hollander he's the best, including when we weren't even playing him, which after finding out it was a crush, makes a lot more sense. We thought he was just REALLY weird about the rivalry
@grillmasterzane☑️
We got that speech tonight too! Yeah that makes a ton more sense with this context
Half-Horse Half-Man
Dillon: THAT’S WHY YOU MOVED HERE?
Dillon: TO ASK OUT HOLLANDER?
Rozanov: Yes 😎
Young: What the fuck?? Thank you for being insane?????
Rozanov: Not insane. Very confident
Bood: He's got an open invite to my BBQs
Haas: The power of gay yearning is going to win us the cup
*Roz 💯 reacted*
Knickolas Pnackleless @NickChouniard☑️
People kept asking us how it's been having Roz here and the most surprising thing was how he will not stop using Hollander as motivation during practice. We knew they were friends but thought it was weird how often he told us to do a drill again so we wouldn’t embarrass him, now we know it was so we wouldn't embarrass him in front of his crush(!!)
Young @youngatheartofacentaur☑️
I asked Roz how Hollander's season was going and he rattled off every stat and a breakdown of best goals. I thought he had encyclopedic knowledge of hockey but he could only do it about Hollzy. He didn't even know his own stats that well, unless it was in comparison
Troy @TroyBarrett17☑️
There's admiring Hollander's ads and then there's whatever Roz does
@grillmasterzane☑️
Drool
Lucas Haas @HaasHockey☑️
Very happy for my Captain to come out and do so by asking out my other childhood hockey role model.
@HaasHockey☑️
@Rozanov81 Do you think you could get me his autograph?
The ORIGINAL @hollanov
Logged in for the first time in 6 years. I FUCKING CALLED IT. They all said I was insane but who's laughing now?
@Rozanov81☑️
Name your price and I will buy your account@hollanov
Bruh@Rozanov81☑️
I am very rich and have no bf to spend it on yet@hollanov
…Could you pay off my student loans?@Rozanov81☑️
Done. DM me details
The ORIGINAL @hollanovoriginalfangirl
New account and no longer in crushing debt who dis
@hollanovoriginalfangirl
Also big thank you to @Rozanov81 for not only paying off my student loans but also buying and forgiving all of my mom's medical debt, I'm both serious and joking about the thank you because I had to explain to my mom 1. shipping/rpf and 2. how me doing it led to this (I'm still confused on that one myself)@Rozanov81☑️
You are smartest person on internet and deserve financial compensation@BarbaraAnnTakeMyHand
Did not expect to hear a hockey player use the phrase financial compensation@Rozanov81☑️
Learned from asbestos commercial@Rozanov81☑️
Don't ask me to spell mesolimpdicknia though@Rozanov81☑️
Could barely survive typing asbestos
Not Ilya @hollanov
Shane Hollander is most beautiful man in the world
@hollanov
The skies saw his freckles and was so jealous they created stars@hollanov
He could make me bark like a dog with just a look@Jackieshusband35☑️
That was sweet and then it wasn't@hollanov
-Jackie after 15 seconds of sex with you@Jackieshusband35☑️
DUDE
Harris @HarrisDroverComms
Am I allowed to take a vacation mid-season?
@TroyBarrett17☑️
We just started the season?@HarrisDroverComms
That's the opposite of helpful thank you.
RIP Raider Cup Chances @rozcomeback
@Rozanov81 bro get up he's straight
@Rozanov81☑️
I'm the closest he can get to fucking hockey itself@Rozanov81☑️
I have decent chance I think@Rozanov81☑️
@ShaneHollander24 I'll kneel at your feet and let you punch me like you refuse to on the ice let me know when and where
Lily🌺
Shane: ILYA MY MOM IS READING YOUR TWEETS
Ilya: Don't you want me to sit at your feet?
Ilya: You like it when I'm panting for it, begging you to let me touch
Ilya: You like slapping the annoying out of me
Ilya: You like when you make me behave
Shane: That doesn’t mean you should be that detailed on twitter.
Ilya: I wouldn't be responding to tweets if you were home already
Shane: I'm about to leave my parents' with the chicken parm; you can wait a few minutes.
Shane: They send their love and are looking forward to lunch with us tomorrow.
Shane: Behave yourself while I'm here and you can make a request.
Shane: You could have come over too, you know.
Ilya: What I want to do to you now that our secret is out would be inappropriate around them
Ilya: Need time to be feral about you first
Ilya: Glasses
Shane: 🙄
Shane: I still don’t get your fascination with them.
Ilya: They’re sexy and you’re blind as a ref for not seeing it
Shane: HEY.
Shane: That sounds like a comment from someone who doesn’t want to get to come today.
Ilya: Is joke мой ёжик {my hedgehog} no one else sees the puck as well as you
Ilya: Am I still allowed to openly thirst after you?
Shane: Yes.
Shane: It's a necessary part of the plan.
Shane: (Hedgehog?)
Ilya: I think you like seeing me thirst about you in public
Ilya: (Yes)
Shane: Multiple things can be true at the same time.
Shane: I just don't want to confirm for people that level of detail of what we do together.
Ilya: Can I tell the internet how I want to die suffocated by your glorious ass?
Shane: …I'm going to let you think about looking my mom in the eye after posting that.
Ilya: If you use that argument against everything I'll never post anything
Hockey Updates @MHLdailynews
Rozanov crashes Metro media to ask out Hollander, claims he's been trying for years. Prank or gay? Click here for everything we know so far
Hockey Fight Hugs @puckmeimscared
Rozanov had a crush for nearly a decade? He just like me fr
🏒Raiders at Heart🏒
Sebbins: JANE
Sebbins: SHANE
Sebbins: JANE SHANE
Sebbins: SHANE JANE
Sebbins: You fucker
Rozanov: Fuck Sebby shout my secret from the fucking rooftops thanks
Sebbins: Everyone already knows
Sebbins: I was just elected bait to see how you respond
Connors: Epic pull man
St-Simon: Really fucking impressive
Rozanov: THANK YOU
Rozanov: People keep having reaction is this real what are you doing
Rozanov: And not correct response of well done!!
Carmichael: We are all suitably impressed don't worry
Carmichael: If you weren't everyone in the league’s #1 enemy before you are for sure now
Carmichael: Pretty much everyone would go gay for Hollzy and now they know it could have been an option
Rozanov: I am not afraid of competition
Rozanov: He is locked down and not going anywhere even now that other people know he's gay
Rozanov: That is only reason I'm allowed to do this, because we are already together. It is secret we were involved for so long before. League and internet don't need to know
Rozanov: Don't make me regret promising Shane you can be trusted
Marly: Don't worry Rozy, everyone is aware of the consequences if they leak something
Feller: we won't let you down cap🫡
Sebbins: Please say he's willing to hang out with us in Boston
Sebbins: One of us will host if he doesn't want to go out
Sebbins: Other metros can come too if he wants
Rozanov: I start dating celebrity and suddenly he matters more than me? Shiny new toy, discarding old captain who won you a cup?
Marly: Fuck off Rozy you know we still love you
Marly: Hollander is just better than you is all
Ilya: Cannot argue that
Ilya: I would say he's out of my league but I am only one in the world even close to being in his league
Ryan the Raider @CarMiked'Upel☑️
Roz once got so drunk he talked about freckles for over an hour. Kept talking about drawing constellations and how kissable they are. A lot of that lecture makes more sense now that I know it's about Hollander
Meaning of Life @Sebbin#42☑️
When I asked why he was leaving Boston for fucking OTTAWA he said it was to marry Shane Hollander. I thought he was kidding 🤣
St-Simon @VictorStSimon☑️
~Roz has a crush, Roz has a crush~
@Rozanov81☑️
You MOCK poor pining captain? You chirp him for being in love with most perfect man in the world? Oh! Jail for Raiders! Jail for Raiders for One Thousand Years!!!!
Felled 'Em @FellerHockey18☑️
hollzy winked at him during a face-off and it was the most i've ever seen roz distracted during a game
Varkov @varkov27☑️
One time after a shutout from MTL I heard Rozanov mutter "he'll never love me now."
Johansson @26JohanssonRaider☑️
He told me he had to go seduce his bf who lives in Canada. Which. I guess wasn't a total lie
Kovalev @kantaletgoalsin#33☑️
we almost died when hollander was dating @RoseLandryOfficial, rozy is not subtle at all
@kantletgoalsin#33☑️
i saw god during those months and not in a good way@kantletgoalsin#33☑️
like the puck was going to hit me so hard i'll die way@Rozanov81☑️
Don't be dramatic I wasn't going to kill you@Rozanov81☑️
May have been pretending you were @RoseLandryOfficial though. Sorry about that Rose Landry@RoseLandryOfficial☑️
You don't want to kill me still right?@Rozanov81☑️
😈@RoseLandryOfficial☑️
Right???@kantletgoalsin#33☑️
wheres my sorry????@Rozanov81☑️
@RoseLandryOfficial Tell Hollander it's okay to fall in love with me after you ruining him for all other women and I'll call off the hit@RoseLandryOfficial☑️
@ShaneHollander24 I don't mind if you join my ranks of gay ex-bfs because no other woman can compare. You two would be hot together@ShaneHollander24☑️
Hmm. Excellent points. Everyone, I am gay. End of statement.@Rozanov81☑️
😮🎉❤️🥵🍆😍@iammyownworstenemy
Did Shane Fucking Hollander just come out in the replies of a Raider's tweet about Rozanov being so jealous he nearly killed their goalie via flying projectile???????@metrofan96
Shane was either hacked or secretly had a personality outside hockey this whole time idfk anymore
Yes That's My Real Name @ConnorConnors☑️
Wait is this why Roz was fucking floating after the breakup was announced? He was jealous of Rose Landry? @Rozanov81 did you even have his number yet?
@Rozanov81☑️
I would have but he ignored my DMs :(@Rozanov81☑️
Actually getting his number should have been in the script when we presented award :((((((
Kane @raisingkanes☑️
@26JohanssonRaider remember when Roz kept doomscrolling Hollandry content and we got really concerned about his crush on Rose Landry? Huh
@26JohanssonRaider☑️
I've never been so happy we didn't go through with the intervention
Please Date Me Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
I have been betrayed by my former team
@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
You left first!@Rozanov81☑️
True. But this betrayal is worse :'(@Rozanov81☑️
Current team is on thin fucking ice@HaasHockey☑️
:(@Rozanov81☑️
Not you Haasy you're perfect@HaasHockey☑️
:)
Lily🌺
Shane: Ilya.
Ilya: Yes мой любимый? {my beloved}
Ilya: You left too soon. I miss you already
*Shane ❤️ reacted*
Shane: I didn't want to leave either.
Shane: Did Cliff tell everyone to back him up?
Ilya: Ah. No. Boston saw what he was doing and decided to join in mocking their lovesick former captain
Ilya: They figured out you're Montreal Jane and wanted to help. They promise not to tell, everyone thinks I am comedic genius as usual
Shane: They all decided to lie to help?
Ilya: …It is possible that they are not all lies
Shane: [Screenshot of Varkov’s shutout tweet.]
You thought I’d not love you because I beat your ass at hockey?
Ilya: I may have
Ilya: For short amount of time
Ilya: Been slightly worried
Ilya: I fucked your brains out so good that night I stopped worrying ;)
Shane: Is that why you were so determined to make me come 3 times?
Ilya: You got hat trick in game, I got hat trick in bed
Ilya: Foolproof plan
Ilya: And it worked
Shane: I had already told you I loved you, you dumbass.
Ilya: …Not that shutout hat trick
Shane: The 2015 game!?
Ilya: I have been gone for you for a very long time. I just couldn’t admit it yet. Is one of my greatest regrets
Shane: You should have.
Shane: We could have been having phone sex this whole time.
Shane: [Picture of a dildo stuck to a headboard by suction cup.]
Ilya: You would have run even earlier if I
Ilya: Are you trying to murder me
Ilya: Call me now
Alison not Alyson @allthatson
@ShaneHollander24 Did @Rozanov81 really ask you out multiple times and you said NO?
@ShaneHollander24☑️
To be fair, I thought it was a weird new chirp the first few times, and it was funny to keep giving him reasons why I couldn’t say yes once I realized.@Rozanov81☑️
This is why you kept saying not yet??? You thought I was homophobic and then used my love for mind games against me???????@ShaneHollander24☑️
;)@shanemofohollander
the first day in the existence of his twitter shane has posted himself instead of his social media manager on his behalf, and he's started by admitting to trolling rozanov
Please Date Me Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
@ShaneHollander24 Does that mean I didn't have to move to fucking Ottawa to have a chance?
@ShaneHollander24☑️
My mom would have a heart attack if I brought home a Raider.@Rozanov81☑️
I like Yuna too much to make her suffer this way@Sebbin#42☑️
YOU’VE ALREADY MET THE PARENTS?@Rozanov81☑️
Had to ask for blessing for proposal@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
You asked for his hand in marriage before your first date?@Rozanov81☑️
Have good feeling about it
Hollander Family
Yuna: [Screenshot of "I like Yuna too much to make her suffer this way" tweet.]
Yuna: Interesting tweet from a man who met the parents in a Boston shirt.
Ilya: Was different situation than normal meeting the parents. No chance of good first impression by that point so better to be target in case you didn't accept him
Yuna: We'll always accept him. Both of you.
Yuna: Even if you were the Captain of the Raiders.
Ilya: I know I am favorite son now
*Shane 🙄 reacted*
David: When did you start trusting us?
Ilya: When you passed me the cheese for pasta. The no yelling helped
Raider Fan 4 Life @bostonstronginbed
We all thought Roz was leaving Boston for a secret gf and wanted to be closer to that pussy. Turns out he left for a CHANCE at getting Hollander Hole?
@stevencandothecancan
Not how I would have phrased it but yes, seems like it.
they're roommates! @Shayden4Life
I have proof that this is just Shane messing with Rozanov and he and Hayden never broke up 1/14
@HollanovIsReal
Is the proof in the room with us?
Shayden Forever @shaydensneversaydie
I find out rpf is real and it's my notp, and not only that, it ruins all chances of my otp. Just kill me now like what is the fucking point anymore
@shaydensneversaydie
Who did I piss off? What curse did I invoke to deserve this?@2017allstarskiss
usually I try not to judge but you violently killing off Jackie after making her cheat at the start of every one of your shayden fanfics is probably a good place to start your introspection@shaydensneversaydie
Okay, heard, will bring that up in therapy, but also that's so much work to dunk on a stranger on twitter wtf@2017allstarskiss
imma be so real I clicked on your profile by accident and was first horrified by that opening scene but after that the writing was good@2017allstarskiss
next thing I know it's 6 hours later I’m subscribed to you on ao3 and I am extremely excited for any new ways you experiment with justifying shayden in a fic
Svetlana @SvetlanaVetrova
@Rozanov81 You insist on embarrassing me.
@Rozanov81☑️
You have something against perfect man???@SvetlanaVetrova
Shane Hollander is so much better than you I'm surprised he's entertaining this.@Rozanov81☑️
You insist on embarrassing me in front of my future husband????? (((((((@SvetlanaVetrova
Nothing I can do is more embarrassing than what you've already done.
Erling Haaland Omegaverse @footynotsocky
Hey so why is everyone freaking out about a hockey player asking out another hockey player? Like, more than homophobia?
@puckgremlin
This is like if Ronaldo moved to a team that lost him all chances of winning a game ever again just to ask out Messi, and apparently had been trying to ask him out for years@footynotsocky
Oh my god????@puckgremlin
You understand now why the internet is melting down
"Rozanov? Rozanov, Shane?" Drapeau despaired as soon as he walked into the locker room. Shane had ducked out quickly after post-game media two days ago, citing a visit to his parents and making his own way back to Montreal, taking advantage of the break from practice the day after their Ottawa game. He'd been avoiding everyone's sideways glances as they trickled into practice that morning, not trusting it was his parents he had seen. They were right, but Shane didn't have to tell them that.
"He's hot and good at hockey." Shane shrugged. “Might as well find out, right?”
Drapeau was not reassured by this but knew there was no changing Shane's mind now that he had decided.
"He's… Not that bad…" Hayden managed to say through gritted teeth. Shane elbowed him. "He's good with kids and funny if you can look past how big an asshole he is." He continued, looking constipated. If you got them drunk enough he and Ilya could admit they found each other tolerable, as if they didn’t have a friendship outside of Shane by now. It helped that Hayden found out about the relationship because he walked in on Ilya successfully helping Shane through a panic attack.
"He is a nightmare to play but I liked him when coaching together. If you won't let me set you up with any nice Montreal man, Rozanov is acceptable." JJ chimed in, showing his support.
Marcel walked into the room, holding a bouquet of lilies like it was a bomb about to go off.
"These got delivered for you." He passed the arrangement over to Shane. Hayden snagged the card and read it out loud.
"'Beautiful flowers for beautiful man who made beautiful goal.' Well, at least he's complimenting your hockey instead of calling you second best."
Shane smiled softly to himself. Ilya had made him swear to never tell anyone about the time Shane edged him until he admitted he did think Shane was the better player. Ilya maintained that confessions under torture did not count, but as far as Shane was concerned, no safeword = true belief.
"I've got friends on the Stars if you want an introduction." Comeau was not letting this go.
Shane looked at him with an expression that revealed exactly how stupid he thought Comeau was for that.
"What's the problem with that sentence?"
"What?" Berkes whacked Comeau upside the head.
"He's gay, you idiot."
"Right. Yeah. Uhh. What about Eric Bennett? He's nice. Nicer than Rozanov!"
"Or what about anyone on YOUR team!" The whole "nobody else on the team was out" thing hadn’t seemed to occur to Wilson.
"None of you are good enough at hockey for me."
The chaos that unfolded from that quip delayed practice by 20 minutes.
"But seriously, I have other professional athlete friends, if it's just the competency thing. I know a really hot gay basketball player." Comeau offered somewhat desperately as they got dressed after, too interested in offering alternatives to realize he was putting his shoes on the wrong feet.
"I know some out figure skaters, if it's the skating part specifically." Renaud offered up.
"You know Shane only likes hockey." Hayden replied for him, throwing an arm around Shane's shoulders. "I hate it, but if we want Shane to have a real relationship, Rozanov might be the only real option."
"Can't you be happy with casual sex with Boston Liam? You survived off that for several years, just keep doing that!" Roy was supportive of Shane as best he knew how. It wasn't great, but he had the spirit at least.
"Boston Liam is happily married and expecting a kid via surrogate any day now." Shane had fully embraced the lying for fun thing. He understood now why Ilya was so excited about this nonsense. "All of you keep ragging on me to settle down, or at least go get laid. Shouldn't I check if Rozanov is such a big asshole it outweighs his hockey skills?"
"Hollzy, there has to be more qualities in a relationship prospect you care about other than how good they are at hockey." Wilson didn’t think this argument was going to work but somebody had to say it.
Shane thought about that seriously for a minute.
"Nah."
"You dated Rose Landry and she's not a hockey player!"
"She was also a last-ditch attempt to not be a gay hockey player. If I couldn't make it work with her, I couldn't make it work with any woman. And what man would I want if not someone who can keep up with me on the ice?"
"He's hopeless. We're getting Rozanov as a brother-in-law and there’s nothing we can do about it." Hayden complained dramatically, slumping over onto Shane.
"Maybe they won't click? Rivalry will be too much to get past?" Stedlund tried to be optimistic.
"Shane likes assholes. It's because he's secretly one too and it lets him hide behind their assholery." Hayden spilled, Shane looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth at the (accurate) accusation.
"Likes assholes, or likes assholes?"
"Are you asking if I top?" The way it was asked did not make it seem like a dangerous question. The way Hayden looked at Laine from behind Shane indicated it was not a wise idea to continue that line of questioning.
"…No." Laine took the hint.
"I'm into assholes." He confirmed. "Not bigots, but the funny kind of asshole."
"We're fucked. You better have an open bar at the wedding." Comeau said resignedly.
"We haven't been on a first date yet." Shane pointed out, half-laughing at how far his team had spiraled.
"Do you know where he's taking you?" Olsson asked, already over the whole "Shane is going on a date with someone we have considered the enemy for several years" and moving on to "our Captain has a date with someone he might have a future with!" Olsson was a romantic at heart, despite what his meathead appearance suggested.
Shane checked his phone, smiling at Ilya still celebrating the kick-off of their prank in the secure "Jane"/"Lily" thread (they could keep each others numbers under their real name now, but they kept those texts very surface level, sticking to the plan, and both felt a bit attached to the names they’d used for so long. It was nice to have a separate chat where they could keep being who they had been before deciding to come out, even with how much they delighted in being able to save their number under their actual name. Thank fuck for privacy screens). Ever since he had left Ottawa it had mostly been Ilya sending his favorite reactions from twitter.
"No, just told me to dress comfortable and he'd pick me up next overlapping day off we have."
"If he tries anything you don't want, we'll kill him for you. Or you can kill him and we'll be the alibi. Just say the word, Cap." Andropov offered gleefully.
"Thanks, I think." Shane straightened the gear in his bag before zipping it up and leaving before anyone could offer any more sincere murder plots. JJ caught up to him in the hallway, looking around to make sure they were alone before speaking quietly.
"Boston Lily is Rozanov, yes?" He sounded thrilled to have figured it out.
"Fuck you, I owe Hayden $10 now. Yes, he is, and yes, we've been involved for that long. Just not exclusive for most of it."
JJ started laughing, fully bent over by the time Hayden joined them, Shane extremely bemused.
"What's his deal?"
"I owe you $10."
"Fuck yes! I told you! You should have told him when you told everyone else Lily was a Liam."
"It's nothing against you, JJ. I wanted to tell you, but until everything was sorted legally, we weren't telling anyone. Everyone who knows guessed. Or walked in on us." Shane grimaced. He tried to not regret any parts of his relationship with Ilya because it got them here, but his Dad witnessing Ilya grab his ass was absolutely one of them.
"I'm sad you didn't tell me sooner, but I get why you guys kept this a secret for so long." JJ was in a puddle on the floor now, wiping tears from his eyes. "What can I do to help?"
JJaygimeister @JJBoziou☑️
@Rozanov81 How are you going to prove you're good enough for Shane? You can't only be good at hockey
@Rozanov81☑️
Being best hockey player is step 1 of many@Rozanov81☑️
I can never be good enough for him but I'm competitive enough to try and that's the real strategy@JJBoziou☑️
Making seduction a competitive sport is exactly the way to Shane's heart, good luck@Rozanov81☑️
Hear that @ShaneHollander24? I bet I can seduce you better than you can seduce me@ShaneHollander24☑️
Game on, asshole.
The Butts Match @HollanovIsReal
DID ROZANOV JUST TRICK SHANE INTO RECIPROCATING BY MAKING IT COMPETITIVE????
@Jackieshusband35☑️
I forgot Shane isn't just hockeysexual, he's also "destroy Rozanov at any competition" sexual@HollanovIsReal
Hayden Pike?? In my replies??? Sir Are You Lost@Jackieshusband35☑️
Jackie told me to check out stan twitter@Jackieshusband35☑️
Concerned about the amount of shaydens but overall I'm having a good time
Skeet-Skeet @sweatdropdownmyballs
They worked at the hockey camps together this summer and were in contact planning the charity before that. I find Rozanov's timing suspicious. He couldn't have asked him out before now? It HAD to be on live TV? There's no way this is real
@Rozanov81☑️
He said I wasn't officially in Ottawa yet :((((@Rozanov81☑️
I wanted world to know of my love after years of hiding it sue me
Lily🌺
Shane: я тебя люблю. {I love you.}
Shane: I can’t wait for when I get to tell the world too.
Ilya: First I get to seduce you 😉
Shane: And how are you going to do that?
Ilya: Do you want to talk about plan for millionth time or are you trying to sext?
Shane: Never mind, I can take care of it myself.
Ilya: Noooooo Shane I want to help
Fire Swamp @ROUSdontexist
YEARS. He said LOVE for YEARS
@generationalmtlmetros
Idk man this is kinda cringe. Like, total stalker vibes@2481tips105
Think of it in Shakespeare terms and tell me it's not romantic. Two rival families, a man so loyal to his family he would never bring home their enemy, and a man who meets his equal in skill and yearns, willing to throw everything away to be with the one person who has a chance of understanding him@2481tips105
Also Shane seems into it so if he sees it as a good thing then let them live@ao3at2am
I need a 40k+ fic of a hollanov Romeo and Juliet au stat
Hockey Not Dice @puckgoblin
"I wanted world to know of my love after years of hiding it" when will it be my turn 🥲
Inigo Montoya @deathtothe6fingeredman
YEARS OF HIDING IT what is happening?????
Terry @suxtosux
What the fuck is with all these hockey players coming out?
@Rozanov81☑️
One shirtless interview and rest of MLH would come out too
[Picture of Shane from his Valencio Pocaterra commercial.]
KitKat @metropolitacat
@ShaneHollander24 are you really going to go on a date with HIM?
@ShaneHollander24☑️
It's good sportsmanship to give him the chance to impress me.@Rozanov81☑️
[Link to compilation of his best goals.]@ShaneHollander24☑️
Not bad.
Beta to Omega to Alpha @ao3at2am
DUDE Shane Hollander is ice cold. "It's good sportsmanship to give him the chance to impress me" like damn way to kick a man already prostrate at your feet
Macavity @thewarprofiteeringcat
How is Shane not getting major ick from all this?
@harkthehollanovangelssing
He did say he never told Ilya no, just that he couldn't date a Raider. They said they decided to found the charity as friends so if they're familiar enough to have had that conversation multiple times, it's not a big leap to think Shane doesn't mind Ilya moved so they can try dating@thewarprofiteeringcat
That amount of simping can't be attractive@Rozanov81☑️
Luckily Hollander knows he is Shane Fucking Hollander and knows it's a proportionate level of simping
[Picture of Shane in a suit, casually checking his Rolex.]
Hollander Family
Yuna: Several brands have reached out about Ilya posting pictures of Shane's ad campaigns under tweets insulting him for moving.
Shane: Oh no.
Ilya: I can stop if it's causing Shane problems
Shane: We accepted sponsors might drop me because of this; it's fine.
Yuna: It’s better than fine!
Yuna: Every brand used has reported a 9%-17% increase in visibility and a 2%-11% increase in sales.
Ilya: So I can keep doing it?
Yuna: I'm forwarding you emails I've received from a few of them.
Yuna: Some of them dug up BTS and unused shots for you to use as well.
David: Is this a common advertising strategy?
Ilya: Sex sells
*Shane 🤦♂️ reacted*
Shane: No, but it's helping the plan and my sponsors, so overall works out.
Jane❤️
Ilya: Me being a simp on main is good for your brand deals
Ilya: I should get cut
Shane: Of the sponsorship money?
Ilya: Yes
Ilya: But don't worry
Ilya: I know you're not doing well with money and need every cent
Ilya: I will accept payment in other ways ;)
Shane: And what other ways might that be?
Ilya: Send nudes and I won't have to contact my lawyers for profit off my work
Shane: [Mirror selfie of him pulling his shirt up, showing only his abs and chest.]
Ilya: Good downpayment but my professional expertise is worth more than that
Shane: [Another mirror selfie, this time only showing the hand pressing down against his gym shorts to clearly show off his erection.]
Shane: Expertise, nice.
Ilya: Clearly you need more lessons in being professional
Ilya: That is not a nude
Ilya: Breach of contract
Shane: Wouldn't want to underpay you.
Shane: One moment please; it takes some time to liquidate funds.
Ilya: I'll liquidate your funds
Shane: [Picture from above of Shane sitting shirtless on the weight bench in his home gym, all identifying features of body and surroundings carefully obscured, shorts pulled down enough to fully reveal his penis.]
Ilya: Good
Ilya: Would be pity to take legal action against such a pretty cock like that
Ilya: Touch it for me
Ilya: Cum and use it to finger yourself
Ilya: Can't neglect your greedy hole but contract has short deadline so no time to get lube
Ilya: Send me picture of 3 fingers in and your cum dripping out of you
Shane: Fuck.
Shane: Okay.
Ilya: Not much time left before deadline
Ilya: Hurry up before you lose your reputation as perfect brand spokesman
Shane: [Picture at an angle that shows off his athleticism and flexibility to be able to take with a phone camera of his fingers in his asshole, still-hard dick in frame.]
Ilya: Fuuuuuuuuuck Shane
Ilya: How are you so hot
Shane: The yoga definitely helped with getting that picture.
Ilya: Pleasure doing business with you
Ilya: [Picture of his cock in his hand, both dripping with cum.]
Ilya: I look forward to my next payment
Matching Ass Tattoos @urmypeachurmyplum
Tell me why I just saw Professional Ice Hockey Players Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov on a date at an //ice skating rink//
@urmypeachurmyplum
Rozanov kept pretending to teach Hollander how to skate@urmypeachurmyplum
Hollander tripped him and said "Oops, beginner’s luck ran out"@urmypeachurmyplum
If anyone thought Roz was faking, the look of glee at Hollander's joke should change your mind@urmypeachurmyplum
Dude was besotted
Mrs. Rozanov @marrymeroz
Hollander won't play along with your jokes Ilya baby give me a chance instead
Eric Graham @ergograhmic
I think tripping him is their version of playing along tbf
"I had a really good time today." Shane said genuinely, before switching tones to overly innocent. "The ice rink was really fun. I didn’t think you were ever going to ask me out." An opening volley. An invitation to adapt this ridiculous thing they were doing into a different scenario, playing with it in an entirely different way.
"You're so pretty, how could I resist?" Ilya asked, tugging Shane by the hand closer to him as they walked up the stairs to his apartment. An acknowledgment of the lobbied offer. "Are you going to invite me in for coffee?" Acceptance of the scene suggested.
"Nightcap? On the first date? What kind of girl do you take me for?" Shane teased. The parameters were set. No further negotiation was required. They'd had enough discussions over the years (and been so in tune with each other to begin with) that this was all they needed to know what characters to play.
"One that is going to be very happy later tonight." Ilya said roughly into his ear from behind, squeezing Shane's hips as he unlocked the door.
"I don't know…" Shane trailed off, leading them inside. "I'm a good girl, I don't put out on the front date."
"You don't have to put out." Ilya said, sliding a hand up Shane's shirt as he backed him against the door, the other hand reaching beside him to lock it with a sharp click. Shane swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, as Ilya crowded into his space. "We can have fun without going that far."
"I've never done stuff with someone I wasn't already dating for a while. Are you sure? I don’t want you to think I'm easy, or anything." Shane looked at Ilya nervously, playing up the role he'd taken on.
"Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you. I'm just here to make you feel good, okay?" He sounded every inch a gentleman as he ground his erection into Shane's thigh. "We only go as far as you want."
"How far I want?"
"Yes." Ilya breathed into his ear. "We can stick to kissing, if you're really such a Golden Boy you don't want to go further." He placed gentle, open mouthed kisses under Shane's ear, trailing down his neck.
"What if I want to do more than that?" Shane asked shyly, angling his head for easier access.
"More? Not so golden after all, hmm? Well I could take off your shirt and grope your gorgeous tits, if you want to stay 'above the belt.'" He explained condescendingly.
Shane grabbed at Ilya's shirt, hastily helping him pull it off before his own, Ilya immediately going back to kissing his neck, hands skimming under his pecs.
"What would be more than that?" Shane moved Ilya's hands higher and sighed happily as he massaged him roughly.
"More? So you are easy on first date? More would be me getting you off with my fingers. Would you like that? Or maybe you want my mouth. Want to feel me lick you, tease you until you're begging for more, before I suck you down and blow you as long as I want, long after you've cum so quickly?"
"I'm not easy." He denied, rolling his hips against Ilya's.
"Mm, if you say so. Is that what you want? My hands on you? My mouth on you?" Ilya licked a wet line up Shane's neck before returning to his mouth.
"What's more?" Shane asked, a reflexive, aborted movement to drop to his knees as Ilya kissed him roughly, before remembering that's not who he was right now.
Ilya clocked the motion anyway.
"Is that it, you want to get on your knees for me? You don't care about your own pleasure, you just want to put out for me like the slut you are."
"I…" Shane couldn't speak as Ilya roughly tugged his pants down, gripping his length but not moving, restraining his hips against the door so he couldn't fuck into Ilya's hand.
"Or were you requesting I fuck you? Is that the more you want? That would be putting out for me, you know."
"No, I don't want… I mean…" Shane was stumbling through his words, focus on Ilya holding him down instead of figuring out how to say what he wanted.
"You don't want me to fuck you?"
"Maybe not all of it? Is it still putting out then?"
Ilya pulled back to grin wolfishly at him.
"We can do just the tip, baby, doesn't even count."
"But you're so big-" Shane murmured, trailing a hand down Ilya's erection over his pants, cutting himself off as if in surprise. "Will it even fit? What if it hurts?"
"Don't worry, it will fit." Ilya echoed his past self, the character he'd taken on having a much different mindset when saying those words. "I'll make sure it doesn't hurt, don’t worry."
"Okay. I trust you." That statement was so real Ilya had to pause a moment to work through all the emotion in his chest.
"Good. How about you go get comfortable in bed? I'll be right there."
Shane took the time to line up their shoes neatly on the rack before disappearing upstairs. Ilya smiled fondly and gave Shane a minute to set the scene in his head, getting a glass of water before following.
When he walked into the bedroom, he nearly groaned at the sight. Shane, naked on the bed, looking exactly like someone trying to seem relaxed and failing miserably. It was a version of Shane he'd seen many times over the years, but him doing it on purpose, now that they had moved past all the stumbling awkwardness and fear of revealing too much that characterized the early days of their tryst, was getting to him more than he expected.
"Fuck, you're so pretty, baby. Ever since I met you I couldn't stop picturing how'd you look naked, and you're even hotter than that."
"Yeah?" Shane squirmed under the heat in Ilya’s gaze, who hurriedly set the water on the bedside table and stripped off the rest of his clothes, crawling up the bed to hover over Shane.
"So hot. So beautiful. Look at you. You say you don't do this on first date and then you lay yourself out so pretty for me to admire?"
"You told me to get comfortable."
"And you did so good following directions." Ilya's voice dropped a register. "What do you want? Still want me to touch you?"
"Kiss me?" Shane requested meekly. Ilya flashed him a smile, his real smile. As if he needed the reminder that Shane would always be kissed, if not during a scene, then at least after. He had learned his lesson.
"Just kissing? You are so boring, baby." Ilya leant down to comply anyway, starting with an unhurried, gentle press of the lips before pulling back, Shane chasing him.
"Kissing to start. More in a bit?"
"Of course." Ilya kissed Shane again, taking care to touch him the least amount possible, staying above him as he leaned down for a slow kiss, devastating in the amount of emotion it carried.
Shane pulled at his back, trying to get Ilya to lay on him and kiss him properly. Ilya smirked against his lips.
"No, no, you said kissing to start. You want more already? Need me to touch you? Are you really that easy? Or just so greedy for me you can't resist." He said disapprovingly.
"Not easy." He whined, still tugging ineffectively.
"Okay, so we keep kissing." Shane crumpled.
"No, more, please, please touch me while we kiss, please, anywhere you want."
"Anywhere?" Ilya contemplated. "What a good little slut, letting me do what I want to you. I'll make it feel so good for you, okay baby?"
"Yes, please-" Ilya laughed at him before leaning down to bite a nipple quickly before going back to his mouth, murmuring against it slyly.
"Such a polite slut too. So quickly you go from no to begging after just a few kisses." He laid on top of Shane, arms braced so he could slowly drag his cock against his, trapped between their bodies. "Giving up on pretending you don't want me to fuck you, yes?"
Shane moaned loudly, before clapping a hand over his mouth. Ilya pulled it away, interlacing their fingers against the bed.
"Eh no, I get to hear your pretty noises. Is rude to not let me hear how good you feel from how I'm touching you." Ilya scolded.
"Oh, okay, I didn’t know." Shane said, embarrassed.
"Is okay baby, that's why you have me to teach you anything your boyfriends didn't. Mm, or maybe they never made you moan like that. That won't be a problem now."
"Thank you, Ilya." He went shy again. "Can you… use your mouth? Please? I promise to be loud."
Ilya groaned and jerked against Shane, unable to resist rutting against him for a few moments, but kissed a line down his chest before mouthing at his pecs, lathering him in something that would be called kisses if it weren’t for the teeth scraping half-bites. He left one solid bite mark above a nipple before rolling the bud in his teeth, massaging the other pec before switching. After a few minutes, Shane let out a whine of discontent.
"Now why are you making that silly little sound? Do you need something?"
"More, I need more. Lower. Please."
Ilya slid further down on the bed, leaving a trail of hard sucks until his mouth was hovering over Shane's erection. He ignored it, instead ducking lower to suck a hickey into his inner thigh, watching as Shane fisted his hands in the sheets.
"This what you want?" Ilya asked rhetorically.
"On my-" Shane’s voice cracked, like he was unused to saying the crass term. "-dick. Please use your mouth on my dick."
"There you go baby, good job using your words." Ilya licked a wide stripe up the length of his cock as a reward, delighting in Shane's jerk at the sensation.
"Thank you thank you thank you-" Shane murmured nonsensically as Ilya circled the head with his tongue, toying with the slit before taking him down his throat. He started slow, letting Shane adjust to the sensation before giving it his all, determined to give Shane an even better first blowjob than what he managed at age 19 (not that Shane minded at the time). It wasn't very long before Ilya recognized the signs for Shane getting close.
"I'm going to cum-" Shane gasped in anguish as Ilya abruptly pulled off his cock and pushed his knees into his chest. "No! I was so close, what are you doing?"
"You said you wanted my cock, baby, the little bit you could handle. You might be too sensitive for that after. Do you really want the night to end now, before you get to feel me?"
Eyes screwed tightly shut, Shane shook his head.
"No? You do want to end the night now?"
"No, I. I want to feel you."
"Such a good little slut. I need to get you ready for it, so be good and hold these up for me."
"What?" Shane instinctively followed the order, holding his legs open. Ilya kissed him again as a reward before settling back down on the bed.
"Just relax, okay?" With that, Ilya dived between Shane's perfect ass cheeks and circled his tongue around Shane's perfect hole (he wasn’t biased at all), moaning as Shane shuddered at the sensation, throwing his head back with a whimper.
"What are you doing, that’s so dirty- Ilya!" Shane moaned. Ilya continued to eat him out until he was shaking, pulling back to rub one fingertip soothingly against the rim. When Shane started to buck, seeking more stimulation, he pulled off, guiding his legs back down.
"We still have only gotten as far as innocent mouth stuff-" Ilya started.
"I don't think licking my asshole counts as innocent mouth stuff!"
"-but now is time for fingers. Okay?"
Ilya reached for the lube but Shane grabbed his wrist before he could.
"Would it… Can I? Before you, we, that?"
"Can you what?"
"Can I suck you?" Ilya grinned darkly at Shane.
"Did you get jealous, baby?" Ilya straddled Shane's chest, gripping his face to force eye contact.
"Jealous?" Shane asked nervously, feeling pinned under Ilya's full attention (and from the thighs trapping his arms to his sides).
"Jealous of me, getting to blow you. Were you jealous you didn't have a dick in your mouth? Hungry little cockslut can't help but want something to suck on."
"Want to taste you." He admitted shamefully.
"You know you shouldn't and yet you want it so bad? I know baby, it's okay." Ilya cooed patronizingly. "Do you want me to lay on the bed, or stand so you can kneel at my feet?"
"I don't know. What do you want?" Shane's prize was tantalizing just out of reach and he was being asked to make decisions?
"I've been doing all the work so far. How about I lay back and you show me what you know?" He rolled off, propping himself up against the pillows, hands behind his head. "Let me see what your pathetic little boyfriends taught you. Did they teach you to suck cock, or did they fail in this like they did to get you to moan? Like they failed to eat your ass like you deserve?"
"I can do it." Shane settled between Ilya's legs, looking at his erection with awe. "I've never seen one so big before." He said wondrously, reaching out a nervous hand to run his fingers down the side, smiling softly as Ilya shivered.
"So maybe it does not matter if they taught you or not, if you’ve never had one this big. You going to choke on me baby? See how far down your throat you can take me?"
Shane nodded eagerly before taking it deep into his mouth with all the delight of someone enjoying their favorite treat.
"See, I knew you were a hungry little cockslut. Starving for something in your mouth, yes? I give you best blowjob of your life and all you want is a cock down your throat." Shane moaned around him, grinding against the bed.
Sometimes Ilya couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Everything about Shane was a great example of that, but right now, he especially appreciated how he got off by sucking cock.
"да, like that." Ilya said, lacing his fingers in Shane's hair and using the grip to help direct him. Shane reached a hand up to put over Ilya's, encouraging him to move him rougher. "Fuck, Shane-" Ilya tugged Shane up, sitting up and pushing him off.
"Bad?"
"No, too much, too good. Don't want to cum without doing everything you want. Come here." Ilya laid Shane on the bed, kissing him as his fingers skimmed down his dick, nudging his legs until he opened, pressing his thumb firmly against the entrance until Shane was panting against him.
"Please?"
"Okay, baby." Ilya reached over for the lube. "I need to tell you something important." He poured some on his fingers, letting it warm up before going back to soothingly rubbing Shane’s hole.
"Yes?"
"I need to stretch you out first to make sure I won't hurt you. But I can’t just stretch your rim, baby, you’ll need to get the whole fingers otherwise it’s dangerous."
"Dangerous‽ How?" His body stiffened, slowly relaxing as Ilya ran his free hand down his side.
"In case something happens while I'm inside you. You could slip, and find yourself being split open on my cock, deeper than you're ready for it. Or maybe an earthquake could hit and shake the bed."
"Earthquake would be very unlikely in this part of the world-"
"Or maybe," Ilya continued lowly, cutting Shane off as he gently slipped a fingertip inside his ass, "you'll be so overwhelmed by how good it feels you'll beg me for more."
"Fuck you, no, I won't, I wouldn't." Shane denied, squirming at the violation.
"And at that point you'll be too cockdrunk to let me take it out and stretch you the rest of the way, so we need to be safe and prepare you for anything. Accidents, natural disasters, you being a needy little slut for my cock."
"I won't ask for more. You said what we're doing doesn't count and I don't want to do anything that will." Shane said defiantly, at odds with how his hips were shifting, trying to get Ilya's finger deeper.
"I know, you're such a good boy." The Russian soothed, accent thick, pushing up to the second knuckle as he watched Shane's face carefully, enjoying how his mouth parted at the intrusion. "Fingers in your ass but you're not easy, no." He jeered, adding a second, feeling around until he found Shane's prostate.
"More, please, more."
"Don't worry baby, you keep asking for more and I'll give you everything you want."
There was nothing gentle about how he kissed Shane now, deepening it until it was a messy, frantic makeout, adding another finger as he stretched him out.
"I need-" Shane gasped.
"What?"
"You. I need you." They were playing homage to all of their firsts tonight, it seemed.
"Get on your stomach." Ilya ordered, patting Shane's side. "It'll be easier to control how deep I’m fucking you with you trapped against the bed. Where are your condoms?"
Shane obediently rolled over, his response muffled against the pillow.
"What was that?"
"I don't have any." Shane turned his head to admit shamefully.
"Oh no, I don't have any either." Ilya declared over-dramatically, rubbing the delightful ass laid out before him.
"You don't have any‽"
"You said you were good girl who doesn't put out on the first date, yes? I would not be rude and bring condoms. Okay. So next time."
"No!" Shane yelped, reaching behind him to grab Ilya and squeeze the thigh he found. "I still want it."
"You do? How?"
"Just… without a condom. It’s just the tip, right? So it’s fine?"
"You want me to fuck you bare, baby?"
"Yes, please, I want to feel you."
Ilya groaned, collapsing on top of Shane.
"You’re making us break all the rules. You are that desperate for me? Desperate for my cock in your needy hole? Shameless little slut wants my cock so bad you don't need a condom?"
"I don't care. I need you in me, now. Please." Ilya was helpless to refuse such a desire. He grabbed a pillow [that Shane wouldn't mind getting dirty] and slid it under his hips, helping Shane get comfortable on the bed.
Ilya kneeled and spread Shane's cheeks, pressing his cock against his hole.
"You still want?"
"I still want." He was rewarded with a series of kisses down his spine before Ilya lined back up.
"Fuck, baby, you're so tight." Ilya groaned, slowly pushing the fat head of his cock into Shane. "I knew you'd feel this good, fuck." When the whole head was inside, he took a second to breathe, becoming more undone than he expected. "Okay?" He asked the shuddering mass underneath him.
"Okay. Good. So good. Fuck, you're so thick."
"Yes. Too bad you don't want to experience rest of me." Ilya made as if to pull out, stopping as Shane cried out in alarm.
"Where are you going?"
"You said just the tip. You have had just the tip. We can go back to mouth stuff now." Ilya waited for the guaranteed denial.
"No! You can fuck me with just the tip, right? It still won't count if you move?"
"Oh, my poor needy little slut. Need me to fuck you that badly?"
"Just, just a little. Doesn't count."
"Of course baby, doesn't count at all."
He started to move, the smallest motions in and out, staring open mouthed as he watched Shane’s hole do its best to keep him inside, to suck him in further. He'd been in this man so many times, and this still felt like a revelation.
Feeling empty, Shane climbed to his hands and knees, forcing Ilya to fist his cock, making sure it didn't slip any deeper.
"I want more." He was as taunt as a bowstring, trying to not slam his hips further back onto Ilya's length. "Deeper." He demanded.
"Shane." Ilya scolded, still doing the tiniest thrusts, head catching the rim with a gasp from Shane every time. "You said a little, baby. Any deeper and you really will be a slut, wanting to get fucked so bad."
"Just for you." Shane rasped out. "Your slut. Yours. Want you deeper. Want to feel it." Ilya groaned, patience slipping.
"How much deeper?" Ilya asked meanly, slipping another inch in. "This enough for you, or do you still feel empty, you little cockslut?"
"All of it, I want all of you. Fuck me, please." Shane begged raggedly, like he'd die if he didn't have all of Ilya's cock inside him. Both versions of Ilya existing in him right now were weak to Shane's pleas.
"Don’t worry, I'll take care of you." Ilya soothed, slowly pushing further in. Shane moaned gratefully at the slow glide, Ilya taking a moment to catch his breath when he bottomed out, one hand forcing Shane’s head down so he could see his back arch as he slid in. "Is this what you wanted baby? Greedy little slut begging for my cock after one date? Such a good boy, doesn't hook up on the first date, but already knows that he was made to take my cock."
"Please, yes, made for you, give it to me." Ilya rested his forehead against his shoulder and slowly pulled out before sliding back in, letting Shane get used to the fullness.
Shane let out a deep sigh of pleasure and tried to move, trying to fuck himself against Ilya. Instead, Ilya grabbed his hips and started a brutal pace, talking dirty the whole time.
"You will murder me. Is that your secret? It's not that you're a slut that will put out after one dinner, but you lure innocent men into fucking you so good they're ruined for anyone else."
"No, no, no one else-"
"Good. You are mine. I don't want anyone else touching you this way. My pretty little cockslut."
At the degradation-filled claim, Shane came untouched, spilling over himself and the bed.
"Fuck, where do you want me to cum? On your back? All over your pretty face?" Ilya pushed him to roll onto his back, barely letting him settle before pushing back into him.
"I want you to cum in me, want to feel you dripping out of me." Shane was twitching from the overstimulation as Ilya continued to hammer into him, but still moaned as he braced himself against the headboard.
"There's no condom, baby. You really will be my cockslut if you let me." Ilya’s dismissive tone was at odds with how his breathing had gotten faster, pushed to his limit at the idea.
"Don't care, want your cum. Want you still inside me after."
"How can I argue with such a desperate little cumslut?" With a few more thrusts Ilya pressed himself fully into Shane, holding him crushed against him as he followed him over the edge.
He breathed heavily for a few moments, then laid his whole bulk on top of Shane’s body, needing to be held after that type of play and no longer forced to deny himself it.
"Okay?"
"It was perfect baby, thank you for going with it." Shane stroked his hair reassuringly.
"Ah yes, my extremely hot boyfriend wanted to act out an extremely hot fantasy, that's something that I need to be thanked for."
"I sorta sprung it on you."
"No, I knew what you were thinking about. Why do you think I was teaching you how to skate? Too public for you to play along though, I understand."
Shane grinned down helplessly at that, never going to be over how much Ilya understood and accepted his eccentricities.
After a few minutes, Ilya pulled himself up and out with a groan, petting Shane's face when he whimpered at the emptiness. He fetched the water and took a few sips, passing it to Shane and retrieving a wash cloth, wiping up as much of their mess he could and tossing the rag in the correct section of the divided laundry hamper before lifting Shane up in a princess carry.
"What are you doing‽ I can walk!"
"Hush. Normal to be shaky on legs after being fucked so good, and this was your first time with my huge cock inside you. Don't want to risk you falling, моя любовь {my love}."
Please Date Me More Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
Step 24 of 10 year plan went well
[Selfie of them on the ice, flush from laughter and exertion, tousled in a way that suggests they were roughhousing moments before, Shane grinning just as broadly as Ilya as he jammed an elbow into the Russian's side.]
Shayden Forever @shaydensneversaydie
Wait no why do they look so cute together
@shaydensneversaydie
I'm starting to see it fuck
The Butts Match @HollanovIsReal
I don't think there's a single other picture online that shows either of those boys looking as happy as they do here 😭😭😭
Marly #7 @ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
@Rozanov81 Ice skating? Really?
@Rozanov81☑️
@ShaneHollander24 tells me he was too busy playing hockey as teenager to ever go on classic hockey player date. He needed to have this experience, even if he refused to play along and pretend it was his first time on the ice and I have to hold him closely to teach him@ShaneHollander24☑️
I know how to skate already.@Rozanov81☑️
When is gentlemanly to bring up roleplay? 3rd date? ;)@ShaneHollander24☑️
Who says you’re getting a third date?@Rozanov81☑️
😮@Rozanov81☑️
I will have to impress you more on our 2nd then
Hockey Not Dice @puckgoblin
"I know how to skate already." SHANE HOLLANDER THE MAN THAT YOU ARE
Hailey @hollanovtruther105
CONFIRMED SECOND HOLLANOV DATE. CONFIRMED SECOND HOLLANOV DATE!!!!!!
Shayden Lives @shaydenisrealnotclickbait
R*zanov may be getting a 2nd date but we all know Shane will get back with his true love soon. This is just an awkward detour
@2481tips105
Pike is married to a woman with kids and Hollanov is going on date 2. I don’t think detours usually involve an entirely different mode of transportation WTF are you talking about
"Soooo, how'd it go?" Olsson asked, sidling up to Shane as he strolled into the room. Shane wasn't usually the kind of person who strolled places, much more focused or uncomfortable for that, but his body felt pleasantly sore and he had a killer date the night (and morning) before practice, so for once, he was relaxed as he entered the locker room. He even wasn't upset that Ilya had insisted on blowing him in the shower and he wasn't the first one there.
"Good." He gave a small smile, laughing as his team cheered.
"DAMN, Cap!" Andropov cheered as Shane stripped off his shirt.
"What? Ah." Shane said, looking down. He could see several hickies, not including the ones on his neck, and a prominent bruise outline of a bite mark. The fingerprints on his hips would be even more damning.
"Date went well then?" JJ asked slyly.
"Yes and I do not need to hear about it from any of you!" Shane called out to everyone. They stared at him for a second before continuing to rib him.
"Guess we have to approve of Rozanov if he can get you that relaxed."
"I don't know, is he going to fuck you so hard it'll put you on IR?" Hayden teased.
"I've scored hat tricks the day after I've gotten dicked down so you don't need to worry about that." The team roared, excited by Shane sharing details for once.
"If you can play as good as you did after hooking up with Boston Liam we'll have to accept him. Rozanov will be contributing to his own downfall."
Please Date Me More Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
Hey @ShaneHollander24 do you want to gay thumb wrestle?
@ShaneHollander24☑️
How do you win?@Rozanov81☑️
You don’t use thumbs
WE WON?? @2017allstarskiss
"you don't use thumbs" SIR I DON’T THINK I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING
13 @everythingcharlottesaysisalie
Kinda pathetic Rozanov moved countries just so he could ask someone out
@Rozanov81☑️
Pathetic to chase this?
[Behind the scenes picture of the 2010 CCM shoot, the two of them laughing on the ice.]
Please Date Me More Hollander @Rozanov81☑️
You are in his DMs getting ignored. I am also in his DMs mostly getting ignored until I moved countries. We are not the same
@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
I would argue we are less pathetic@Rozanov81☑️
But would you have gotten his number if you moved to Canada?@ShaneHollander24☑️
I do like tall men.@Rozanov81☑️
He's a Raider baby you don’t need to look any further than my height@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
I wouldn't be if I moved to Canada@ShaneHollander24☑️
🤔@Rozanov81☑️
Betrayal on all sides@ShaneHollander24☑️
@Rozanov81 I prefer curls over a height difference.@Rozanov81☑️
😎@karamehome2nite
I can't believe the press only gets "no comment" when they ask about his sexuality and instead he's dropping breadcrumbs via twitter replies
Bruce Spelunkstein @cavininthedark
@Rozanov81 Since when are you into Hollander?
@Rozanov81☑️
Since beautiful Canadian boy introduced himself to me and I couldn't translate what he was saying because I was too distracted by his freckles
Shane: My freckles are why you were so standoffish?
Ilya: First thing after meeting you I asked zamboni driver word for face stars
Ilya: Sight of them stole all of my English and most of my Russian
The ORIGINAL @hollanovoriginalfangirl
@Rozanov81 found my venmo and now he sends me $105 every time there’s an update
@hollanovoriginalfangirl
I’m very confused how I acquired a sugar daddy from someone else's relationship but every time I try to send the money back he doubles it so ig I'm getting debriefed via venmo@hollanovoriginalfangirl
[Screenshot of venmo transactions.]
$105 he said yes to my date idea 🥰
$210 you manifested my dream don’t give this back
$420 I am rich you work for nonprofit stop
$840 if you think this is bad you do not want to find out how high I will go
$105 he held my hand 🎉😊
$105 I was able to pay for dinner despite his attempt I WIN
$105 he said yes to 2nd date 😍😍@dishpitcigarettes
It's been known for years Roz always tips in multiples of $105 are you telling me it's because of 81+24??? Not "I am at least 5 better than flashy rich assholes" ?????@rozygurl81
Not Roz being the biggest loverboy to ever loverboy@shmybflivesincanada
He was yearning even in his tips 😭@finedogmemeinanapron
The fucking hollanovs were right about why he does that?@lipstickcoveredmagnet
girl the hollanovs have been proven right about everything keep up
Hollanov WITH THE STEEL CHAIR @2481tips105
If you need me I'll be alternating between sobbing and laughing hysterically
@HollanovIsReal
Me too 😭😭😭😭
Front Butts @twinsizedmattress
If it was anyone else I'd think Rozanov's whole deal is kinda weird but mostly it just seems romantic. And kinda sad
@Rozanov81☑️
Not weird to pine after man who looks like this. Just reasonable
[Picture from Shane’s most recent Speedo ad.]
Wyatt Hayes @WyattHayesGoalie☑️
Roz really decided to commit to the anime definition of rivals huh
@grillmasterzane☑️
I would too if my rival was Shane Hollander@Rozanov81☑️
Exactly! Seems simple to me. League assigned me my equal in looks and skill day 1 of our careers and I'm NOT supposed to fuck him?@grillmasterzane☑️
Well, no, the league probably wishes you wouldn't@Rozanov81☑️
Shouldn't have made rivalry so sexually charged then@ClifftheBigYellowForward☑️
I think that was the two of you, not the league@Rozanov81☑️
Shhh I want to convince Cromwell the marketing was so homoerotic it made us gay