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You don't know how you got here.
...Okay, you do know, but you're having a really hard time believing the reality of the situation. Somehow, Karkat has convinced your actual ecto-parents to get... involved with you. Sexually. For some kind of weird troll therapy shit you guess. Mention that you might have issues surrounding your parental figures that may be less than family-friendly once (okay, maybe more than once), and suddenly your life partner decides you need to get fucked by your honest-to-god real ecto-biological mom and dad. Which they agreed to, apparently. What the fuck.
"When exactly were you gonna tell me you were planning me a wack-ass incestuous sexual encounter behind my back?" you question, voice a little too wobbly for comfort.
Karkat rolls his eyes. "Just now, obviously," he says, far too plainly, "They'll be over in ten minutes or so." The short notice is likely his way of making sure you can't chicken out of this, you think.
"Jesus fuck," you breathe, "How... How the shit did you manage to talk them into this?"
"By using my words?" Karkat snarks, before he recognizes that you might actually be freaking out a little and decides to show you some mercy, "All I did was ask if they'd be interested in fucking you, and like I expected, they both said yes."
That sends a delightful little spark through your body, leaving you reeling over the facts you've been presented with. Both Roxy and Dirk want to fuck you. For realsies. And they're going to be here in less than 8 more minutes to do just that.
Have they thought about it before?
Fuck, you're already getting a little hard, half-chub poking at the front of your pants. Karkat notices your silence, and your slight predicament of course, but he doesn't bother to acknowledge it. Instead he sits down beside you on the couch and puts a comforting arm around your shoulders, leaning into you.
"If it's too much, I can tell them off," he suggests, "Or I can leave."
You shoot up out of your slouch so quickly that your spine definitely popped in a few places. "No! No way, dude, you are not leaving," the alarm in your voice must be pretty obvious if the shocked look on Karkat's face is anything to go by. "If you leave I will actually fucking lose it 'cause you're the only thing keeping me stable, dude. And also, I want you there?"
Karkat's expression morphs into something so fond that it makes your chest hurt. "Okay, Dave. I'll stay," he assures you, "Four people just sounded like a fucking lot, but I'll be involved if you want me to."
"I really, really do." you insist.
Before Karkat can say anything else, there's a knock at your front door, the energy behind it telling you it's probably Roxy, but you don't doubt that Dirk is right there beside her. You note in the back of your mind that they're a little early. Karkat gets off the couch to answer it, since apparently your legs have locked the fuck up. How is this happening? You're still struggling to believe it, even as the door is opened and both Roxy and Dirk enter your home, just as Karkat said they would. They remove their shoes and make their way over to the living room where you're situated while chatting along with Karkat, so totally casual. Your hands clench together in your lap, and you're thankful your dick decided to calm down before you ended up giving off the impression of being way too overeager.
"Davey!" Roxy cheers, planting herself down on the couch next to you. Well, more like half on-top of you, since she decided to sit on your left side which was almost against the armrest to begin with. She tosses an arm around your shoulders for good measure. Karkat retakes his seat to your right, while Dirk just kind of... stands there. He looks awkward as all hell, which is always weird to see on his stoic ass face. It makes you feel at least marginally more chill in comparison.
"Hi, mom– Moxy– fuck!" you plant your face directly into your open palms, immediately regretting ever opening your mouth. You hear Karkat snort beside you.
"It's okay, Davey," Roxy soothes, rubbing a hand on your back, "Momma's here for you."
"I'm actually going to fucking die," you grumble into your hands.
Dirk clears his throat, grabbing everyone's attention. "So, uh. Before anyone does any dying," he starts, shifting on his feet and somehow looking even more awkward than before, "We should probably lay down some ground rules? Figure out the logistics of what dick goes in which hole and all that."
"As was previously established, the both of you are going to fuck Dave," Karkat says so easily that it makes you jump with an indignant squeak, jostling Roxy and making her giggle, "How you choose to go about it is up to the three of you, but Dave said he wants me to be involved in some way. I've got no qualms about how, other than no one is sticking anything inside me, thanks. I can just watch if that'd be better for you."
"Aw, Karbabe! I don't mind you gettin' in on things at all," Roxy smiles, "You're hot af, and Davey's comfort is most important here!" Karkat makes a choked off noise at being called hot, but doesn't say anything else.
Dirk nods along with Roxy's words. "I'm also cool with it. What can I say? My bro has good taste."
"Okay! Enough about me!" Karkat shouts, ashy skin noticeably darker with embarrassment, "Logistics, remember! Obviously, Dave is bottoming, but that doesn't tell us much about fuckall."
"Who says I want to bottom?" you retort weakly.
Karkat scoffs, "Like anyone would believe otherwise. You've never topped in your life."
"Hey, there was that one time a few months ago–"
"A future you showing up to stick his dick in your ass does not count as topping! Not to mention the fact that you haven't done that yet!"
"Omg, what kinda crazy shit do you guys get up to?" Roxy grins, a dangerous glint in her eye and you wheeze. You've gotta head this off before the gossip train gets rolling.
Thankfully, Dirk is on the same page as you. "Time travel abuse aside," he interjects with a wry kind of smile tugging at his lips, "I don't have any issues with things inside any of my holes. Except maybe my ears? Not a fan of rupturing an eardrum."
"I can do the dicking or taking," Roxy adds, "Though I won't lie, I wanna get up in Davey's choice buns somethin' bad." She squeezes your arm comfortingly.
Karkat's grin sends tingles down your spine. "I think I've got some ideas now," he says, "Come on, Let's move this to the bedroom."
"Does John know you're doin' this?" you ask warily as you feel Roxy position herself behind you.
"I defs told him," she answers, "Said somethin' like, I'm goin' to Karkat an' Davey's to have no-strings-attached sex with my ecto-kid, so I think he pro'lly knows."
"This is John we're talking about," Karkat reminds from somewhere past Roxy, "He probably thought you were joking."
"Oh well," Roxy shrugs.
"Can we stop talking about John, please," asks Dirk from in front of you while Roxy snickers. He's laying on his back, up against the mountain of pillows you keep on the bed, stark naked. Well, you're all naked, but he's the only one you can see right now. Dirk's pubes are almost as light as his regular hair, and they're neatly cropped short. If he didn't have that big scar running through them, you're pretty sure he would've shaped his bush into a sword or some shit. He's so fucking weird. You can see his folds, lightly swollen with arousal, and his clit growing from behind it's sheath. You've never really gotten up close and personal with a pussy before, so you're feeling a little out of your depth.
"C'mon, Davey," Roxy says, urging you forward on your hands and knees until you're situated right between Dirk's legs. She gently pushes your head down until your nose is nearly touching him. Dirk's breath hitches as your own ghosts over him. "Good boy," Roxy praises, and you can hear her smile, before she backpedals slightly, "Wait, shit. Is that okay? Or do you want me to call you girl?"
You shiver at the names, mulling over how each one feels. "Boy is good for now," you decide, "I'll, uh, let y'know if it changes."
"Okay, make sure you tell momma right away," Roxy says, rubbing a hand over your hip to help you relax again, "Now, get to work, baby boy."
Doing as you're told, you lean down into the wet heat in front of you. Dirk gasps at the first swipe of your tongue over him, but he doesn't say anything. Without any protests, you venture further, tongue slipping between his folds and up to circle around his clit. You feel a calloused hand rest atop your head, and you glance up to see Dirk staring at you. With both of your shades captchalogued before this started, you can fully see the expression of pure want on his face, and it makes you moan. His fingers twist into your hair with a gentleness you didn't expect, and you eagerly let him guide your focus wherever he wants.
While you're distracted with Dirk, Roxy slips down behind you. She uses her thumbs to spread you wide, before licking a wet stripe over your hole. The sudden sensation makes you jump and press harder against Dirk, who groans in approval. Roxy's hot tongue circles your entrance before dipping in lightly, working slow to relax your muscles and drive your arousal. You whine into Dirk and press yourself inside him. Your own tongue works fervently along his dripping inner walls as you practically devour him. One of your arms comes up to rub gently at his clit while your mouth is otherwise preoccupied.
You feel more than hear Roxy gasp against your rear, and you can only assume that Karkat is getting involved now. They didn't tell you exactly what they'd be doing, so you're left to your own imagination. Though, based on the sounds, and the way Roxy is panting across your hole, you're pretty sure Karkat must be working her open with his fingers and bulge. You're about to complain about how unfair it is that Roxy gets a dicking down and you don't, but then you feel suspiciously slick fingers prodding at your entrance next to Roxy's careful licks and kisses, and you moan in approval instead.
Dirk's fingers dig into your scalp with a new urgency, which only drives you to lick, prod, and suck at him more. He's musky, with a hint of orange soda and the machine oils always clinging to his skin. Senses swirl together in your head as you feel your awareness narrow to a few points of contact; Roxy's tongue and fingers in your asshole, her other hand massaging your hip, Dirk's grip in your hair, and his slick heat coating your mouth.
Dirk has been mostly quiet, but his soft barely-there noises have slowly increased in pitch and volume, now reaching their peak. "Ah– B–bro...!" he softly cries out as he comes. Slick drenches your lips and chin, and you eagerly lap at everything he gives you, only stopping when he tugs on your hair.
Looking up at him, you're overtaken with deep fondness for your bro. The guy is always so hard on himself, working tirelessly to control his every emotion; seeing him so openly affected by your actions leaves you frantically trying to reach for him, embrace him. Your needy whine must give Roxy and Karkat some idea of what you want as they pull away from you. Roxy pats your hip encouragingly, and you crawl forward to climb on-top of Dirk. As soon as he is in reach, you crush your lips to his in a clumsy fervour that he returns with passion.
"Fuck," you hear Karkat swear, which manages to clear some of the fog in your head. Embarrassment creeps over you as you realize how ridiculously desperate you're acting towards your own bro. Before you can pull away and try to play it off, Karkat climbs fully onto the bed and pushes you off of Dirk himself. He rolls you onto your back and you yelp before he covers your mouth with his own; Dirk gasping and whining as he watches Karkat's tongue slip past your parted lips. Karkat's kisses feel so possessive, you wonder how he ever thought he would be able to just sit off to the side and watch while your own family ravished you.
"Roxy," he says heavily after breaking the kiss, "Can you get behind Dave?"
"Mm, I like where this is going," Roxy grins and crawls over in lieu of an answer. Karkat helps hoist you up as Roxy slips in along your back. They rearrange you until you're seated right in Roxy's lap, her erection pressing eagerly against your ass. "This okay, Davey?"
"Nnnhhyes..." you groan, "Would be more okay if your dick was in me, though..." You feel Roxy's huff of laughter on your ear, making you shiver.
"Yeah, I gotchu Davey," she says, kissing where you're sensitive behind your ears, "Let momma take care of you."
Thanks to her enthusiastic tongue and fingering earlier, you're loose and wet enough to take her, but Roxy drags things out teasingly. She lifts your left thigh to let her cock slip between your cheeks, rubbing around, but not penetrating.
"C'mon, c'mon, hurry up," you whimper, squirming in Roxy's solid grip.
Seemingly recovered enough to move, Dirk climbs over and seats himself next to Karkat. "Is that any way to talk to your mother, Dave?" he chides, and the words sound so fucking strange coming from his mouth that you almost laugh. Almost. Instead your addled brain manages to catch on to what he's suggesting and you let out another pathetic whine.
"Nngh... Please?" you beg. Roxy hums but doesn't move yet, so you continue, "Please, can I have it? Please, mommy?"
That seems to do the trick, as Roxy begins guiding you down onto her cock. She pushes in slowly, keeping your leg held up and giving Karkat and Dirk a full view of her entering you. You're not used to human dicks; the closest thing you've ever taken (other than your own dick that one time) has been some of the dildos you've got stashed under the bed. It feels way different than Karkat's bulge, and while you definitely have a preference, Roxy's dick has it's own merits. Slowly dragging in and out, she glides against your prostate on each thrust, making you cry out in pleasure and beg for more. She doesn't give it to you, though, maintaining her steady rhythm.
Instead, Karkat backs up enough for Dirk to get in front of him, and you. He leans over you, over your drooling cock, as Roxy finally releases your leg. Dirk climbs on-top of you, and you hardly realize what's happening before he's sinking down onto you, drawing your cock deep inside of him. Somewhere beyond him, you hear Karkat's clicking purr increase in frequency. You wish you could feel his vibrations, but you're the gooey filling in a Strilonde sandwich right now, and every sensation is bordering on overwhelming. Each thrust from Roxy pushes you up into Dirk, and each bounce from Dirk pushes you down onto Roxy again. It's an endless feedback loop of pleasure without leaving any room to breathe.
Through hooded eyes, you can vaguely see Karkat shuffle up to Dirk's back, wrapping arms around him and steadying him. Roxy slows to a stop as well, and the sudden loss of motion is almost painful. "Where do you want it?" Karkat says against Dirk's shoulder, and you're confused for a moment before you realize he's talking to your bro, not you.
"Either," Dirk answers, sounding a little winded, "Front's probably easier."
Karkat nods, and then you feel the slick sensation of his bulge rubbing against your cock. It slips into Dirk alongside you, spreading him even further. You're almost worried for him, but he's moaning like a fucking porn star, so you're pretty sure he's fine. Karkat's bulge winds around you inside of Dirk, and it's such a strange-yet-familiar sensation that you almost come then and there. Thankfully, Karkat notices, and squeezes you tight enough to be painful. That, along with sheer force of will manages to help stave off your orgasm. He lets off the pressure once you're sure you're not going to blow, and wow he knows you super well if he could tell how you were doing just from your face and feeling your dick. You're kind of impressed, and also really in love with him.
"Good?" Karkat asks, directed at no one in particular. With a chorus of "yes"es, he starts moving. His bulge curls around your length as Dirk resumes the roll of his hips. It feels fucking incredible, and it's made even better by Roxy's rhythmic glide over your prostate.
"Fffuuck, that's good," Dirk groans, grinding down on you even harder, "Holy shit, I need a troll boyfriend."
Karkat chuckles low in his ear. "If Dave's fine with it, I can fix you up whenever you need," he says teasingly, "Just give me a warning before you show up on our lawn ring without any fucking pants on."
"Jesus christ."
Your bark of a laugh jostles you just enough that Roxy's next thrust strikes home, driving directly into where you need it most. The keening whine you break into is anything but dignified; though if you're being honest, your dignity left this hive a long time ago. "Roxy! Mom, mom," you pant desperately, "R–right there! Ah– please, mommy!"
The gentle kiss Roxy plants on your cheek is so unexpected that tears immediately begin to well up behind your eyelids. You try to blink them away, but they keep coming, trailing wet streaks down your face. "Ohh, baby boy, don't cry," she coos, slowing her thrusts to a stop and letting the motions of Dirk and Karkat above work you over, "I've got you, Davey. Good boy." You let out a quiet sob, turning your head to nose at Roxy's cheek. She indulges you, pressing her lips to yours in a kiss far too sweet for how filthy the atmosphere is. It's chaste and loving, but before long Roxy is pushing you for more. Her tongue probes at your lips, and you open up for her without complaint. In the back of your mind you remember where her tongue had just been several minutes ago, but all that knowledge does is make you groan. You're hardly returning the kiss at this point, but Roxy seems content enough to taste your tonsils and swallow your tongue without your input.
Dirk's next bounce drives Roxy's cock right into your prostate again, and with a sudden, whimpering moan, you come. You feel Dirk shuddering around you as you pulse inside of him. It's utterly filthy, but the thought just makes you weakly shoot off again. Eyes heavy and mind hazy, you look down between your legs to see your cum seeping out of Dirk's folds as he carefully pulls himself off while Karkat de-tangles his bulge from you. Your dick lets out one last tiny triumphant spurt before you're done. Still, somewhere in your head you're vaguely aware that Roxy has yet to come, so you grind down onto her encouragingly.
"Davey, no," she says with a stern egde, "You've done enough, sweetie. I'll take care of myself."
"Nno... mommy, please?" you mumble back, leaning into her, "I–I can take it... Wanna be good for you."
Roxy croons sweetly at you, before she roughly flips you over onto your face and knees. "You'll be good for momma? You're gonna let me finish in you? Okay, baby." That's all the warning you get before she starts pounding into you. Each thrust strikes home, and you cant help from crying out. She doesn't slow down, even as your flaccid cock leaks heavily onto the sheets, even as you shudder and drool into the pillows. She plows on for some time, until with a final thrust, Roxy buries as far inside of you as she can before she climaxes. You feel the hot cum filling you up, and it's enough to have you climax one more time yourself; a full-body wave of pleasure, and almost entirely dry aside from the prostate fluids that've been totally drained out of you by now.
When Roxy inevitably pulls out, you don't have the strength to keep yourself upright and end up falling over onto your side. The new position however gives you a perfect view of Karkat, globes-deep in your bro, holding him up on his lap, so you honestly can't complain. Roxy flops down, half behind you and half on-top of you in order to watch the show as well. You can just barely see Karkat's bulge writhing inside of Dirk through his abdomen. It's an obscene image that would definitely have you getting hard again, if that were even possible right now.
All you hear from Dirk is a steady stream of "omigosh, omigosh, omigosh—", which has you feeling maybe just a little bit proud of your partner's ability to completely wreck people with his sex anaconda.
Karkat looks over to you, just as Dirk squeezes down around him, and you know he's gone. You watch as his bulge squirms and pulses, releasing inside of Dirk as your bro comes undone as well. Red genetic material languidly seeps out of Dirk as Karkat's climax comes to an end. They take a moment to catch their breaths, Karkat's bulge slipping wetly out of Dirk and tucking itself away again. Bye-bye, beautiful red trouser snake. You make grabby hands at them until Karkat notices and drags himself and Dirk over to you. He flops down bodily, facing you while keeping Dirk held in his arms. With Dirk this close, you can see how wrecked he looks, and you wonder how much of this whole scenario was for him as well as you.
Roxy leans over you to press gentle kisses atop Dirks cheeks and eyelids. You know he struggles with feelings for her that don't align with his sexuality, but he can't deny the smile on his face as Roxy brushes at his bangs. You wiggle closer to him, bringing Roxy with you, until you can wrap your free arm around him and Karkat both. Dirk tilts his chin up in request, a move that feels uncharacteristically timid. He's cute, you think. Insecure in a way that reminds you of yourself and Karkat; it makes you want to protect him. You indulge his request for a kiss, keeping it short and chaste. Karkat leans over to plant a kiss on Dirk's cheek as well, then leans further to reach you. His big beautiful eyes are more than enough to draw you in, and your lips meet with barely-restrained passion. Roxy snickers, but you can't help how madly in love you are with him.
Once the two of you part, you all shift to get more comfortable on the bed, resolving to clean up later. Karkat, ever prepared, decaptchalogues a big soft blanket and covers everyone with it. You feel incredibly fucking comfortable and cozy and you love your family so, so much.
"We love you too, Davey. Even Dirk," says Roxy, her grin pressing into the nape of your neck. You didn't realize you were mumbling outloud again.
"Not cool, Rox," Dirk complains, but you can see his smile too.
"All of you shut the fuck up and go to sleep," Karkat grumbles, but his chittering purr tells you he's anything but annoyed. Mostly fond. "Talk later."
"Love you too, babe," you say, grinning as his purr hitches and returns even stronger. What a sap. You couldn't have wished for a better partner, or a better family.