Work Text:
Sciel sits on the edge, one knee up, her chin resting on it. The other leg dangling precariously. There’s nothing below her but broken buildings and a poor excuse for a road. She wishes it was closer to the water. At least then it would be easier to disappear without anyone noticing.
She wonders if it would have been better had she not stayed. Had she not stayed to see him go. Dissolve into petals.
She snorts, fucking rose petals.
Whose fucking sick joke are they a part of anyway?
They were joking and laughing right up until the paintress stood and changed the number.
Then she whispered, “Don’t leave me alone.”
He stared at her, that stupid dad smile, the one that usually made her feel like everything was safe. She was his world, everything was fine.
Now it stung. Now it burned. Her eyes watered, her smile fell. He was the only one she had left. He was the only one she’d had for so long.
And the last thing he could say to her was "As long as the stars still shine, you won’t be.”
Bullshit.
The person-shaped mass of petals had barely started to float away before she was sprinting her way across the town. Made a moronic decision to free climb the tower.
The climb is a blur. She knows she slipped a few times. The rush of adrenaline is like a drug. It simmers under her skin, even now, as she looks over their broken world.
Looks down at the battered city.
No one’s waiting for her.
She could.
She wouldn’t be alone…
“Oh. I wasn’t aware anyone else could make it up here.”
Sciel doesn’t have it in her to visibly react, though a spike of shame hits her and vanishes just as quickly. She doesn’t even turn her head to look. Why should she? Instead she focuses on the wording. “Really? That confident in yourself?”
“Yes. The pictos help.” There's a pause and then a spark of surprise and is that awe she hears? “You—you climbed up here with nothing? How?”
Sciel chuckles, “Spite, stupidity, anger? Take your pick.” She sighs and brings her leg back up. She doesn't stand, but shuffles from her spot on the ground so that she’s now facing the voice.
Her breath catches in her throat. She’s beautiful, tear-stained face and all. She looks just as lost as Sciel feels. Sciel’s eyes narrow. She knows her—Lune— knows of her at least. It’s hard not to. The daughter whose parents had breakthroughs and hopes for figuring it all out. Who went on their expedition last year and haven’t come back. The ones who left and were supposed to put an end to all this.
They run in completely different circles.
Funny how death erodes those circles.
Erases everything.
They stare at one another.
A mirror of grief, anger, loneliness, and hopelessness. Sciel starts to turn back around when Lune speaks.
“Sorry, I’ll leave you alon—”
“Don’t!” It comes out, rushed, pained. Her voice cracks as she tries to swallow the sob that crawls up her throat.
Lune freezes, half turned. She came here to be alone, but the moment she realized someone else was here, she stopped wanting to be. She can’t help the sigh of relief at being asked to stay.
Sciel turns away again, this time both legs pulled up to her chest. Even though there’s plenty of room, she still scoots over, an invitation.
Lune hesitates. They’re strangers to each other… but that somehow makes this easier. Makes this shared loss, loneliness, somewhat bearable.
Sciel’s body slightly relaxes as Lune sits next to her. Not fully, but enough. Lune is close enough that Sciel doesn’t have to lean far for physical contact. When Lune doesn’t move away, Sciel presses closer.
They sit in their quiet grief together.
They share the rest of the night, keeping whatever happened between them to themselves.
Whatever it was, Lune buries herself in work to send it away.
Sciel aches for it.
Fate, she thinks, asked her to keep going, so she will.
—-
She aches and aches and aches.
Breathing hurts.
Opening her eyes causes pain to rupture in her skull.
She can't really move her arms or her legs.
She can hear people, some encouraging. Another, wary, like they’ve lived this one too many times.
Her throat burns, bile and sea water leaving her stomach and expelling itself, not of her own control, she’s sure.
Why?
Why is she still here?
Why won’t death take her.
It’s taken everything else from her.
Her father. Her husband.
She tries to move her hand, she can’t. Her eyes burn, but the tears don’t come. The salt water dried her out hours ago.
She found out she was pregnant just before finding out the ocean took Pierre.
She’s finding out now, it’s also taken her child.
Except she did that, she let it take them.
It was supposed to take her too.
She and Death dance.
Fate interjects.
Sciel can’t escape either.
Maybe if she embraced both instead of one…
Would it make still being here worth it?
The stars in the sky twinkle and she tries to laugh, but it hurts.
She tells herself the pain means she’s alive.
She tries to ignore the way her brain keeps screaming, why?
—-
She tells Gustave she won’t be sober for tomorrow.
The ocean, he knows.
He doesn’t.
He would, if she told him.
She won’t.
She did that once.
Shared sorrow and for what?
To be ignored for twelve years?
She snorts, then coughs, the alcohol burning her nose.
They’ve only got a year left. What’s one more year of someone else ignoring her?
She’s known, of course she’s known, that Sophie would go before any of them. Sophie was the one who looked at Sciel and knew. Knew the masks she wore. Knew and stayed. Knew and took them off from time to time. Knew and helped her keep them on.
And now here Sciel is, drowning in wine because tomorrow she’s going to cross an ocean to ‘save’ everyone. Everyone but Sophie, because Death already took her.
—-
It was chaos. The beach. Was it really just one man? Not that it mattered, she escaped. She wonders if anyone else did, wonders if…
It doesn’t matter. This is what they were sent here for anyway.
Sent to die and yet she still lives.
How cruel Fate is.
And yet, she still fights. Flirting with Death, teasing Fate. She promised Sophie she’d fight. She will, but that also means she’ll push every boundary. Walk every line. Do the stupidest shit first.
She chuckles as the gestral across from her rants about how she’s offended them, but she has to laugh at her own thoughts. How contradicting her statement is now compared to nearly six years ago. The gestral doesn’t need to know she’s barely paying attention to it.
She wanted Death to take her when her father died. When Pierre died. Needed it to. But it didn’t. It took everything else from her, but it won’t fucking take her. Death is a friend, indeed, but clearly she is not theirs.
So now, instead of walking to her death, she’ll play along with the gestrals. Maybe one will take her down. Maybe she can convince Golgra to fight her.
Sciel has a year left to live but maybe with this, maybe after everyone, truly everyone is now gone, Fate will decide that Death can finally take her.
Will finally let her join her family and friends in the stars.