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-"Father! Father, look!!"
The sound of steps approaching echoed in the corridor, light, swift and, more importantly, full of youthful energy.
Of course, what child would not grow bored on a fifty-long day boat trip?
Straizo furrowed his brow and opened a single eye, he could hear the little Elizabeth coming from a mile away.
He had spent the journey isolated in the cabin, training, meditating, with no desire to mingle with tourists or travelers. Yet an exception was always made for his daughter, who, despite her frantic excitement, opened the door carefully, peeking through first... and beaming when she saw her dad watching her, a mixture of stern demeanor and quiet amusement in his eyes, brow furrowed slightly but the corners of his mouth curving into a kind smile.
Still, Straizo tried to keep the serious facade.
-"What caused you to come running like that? Everyone on the boat has heard you at this point, Elizabeth..."
Elizabeth stood still, holding her excitement for the record time of three seconds before she bursted forward, running to her dad and pulling frantically on his robes.
-"There are dolphins outside! You have to see them! Pleeease!"
Straizo stifled a sigh, weighting the idea on his mind. The deck would be undoubtedly full of pesky passengers wanting to get a glimpse of the animals and, if you asked him, he had an innate aversion to crowds... but... he couldn't bring himself to just tell his daughter no.
It was already an arduous journey they embarked on, he didn't want to make it even more miserable for the poor girl. So, with a soft voice and gentle eyes, he rose from the spot where he had been sitting on the bed.
-"Very well, Elizabeth, I will go watch them. You will guide me, but be careful."
He took the kid's hand, holding her with care, allowing her to pull on him as both emerged onto the deck. A big crowd was already invading the railing on the left side of the deck, where it was obvious that the dolphins were slicing through the waves.
While maybe a small kid could have successfully tried to weave into the crowd, Straizo was far from being one, so the idea was discarded immediately... yet, just by seeing her daughter's pout, he set into action. He crouched to match her height and whispered into her ear.
-"Do not worry Elizabeth. We shall see the dolphins."
Straightening up, he took the lead this time, guiding his daughter to the opposite side of the deck, completely deserted.
-"Watch closely, this is a new lesson."
He picked up a glass of water some traveler had left unattended to watch the animals. He took the ice out and inhaled sharply. As he exhaled, a metallic sound echoed through his lungs as crackling energy traveled from his arm into his hand, infusing the ice. He tossed it overboard and as it fell, the ice cube spun violently in place...
It didn't go down immediately like a stone would, the hamon had kept it suspended above the water, spinning with a furious force and creating ripples that danced on the surface for a few seconds before, finally, sinking in. Both father and daughter stared intently at the dark waters just in time to see a magnificent dolphin jump, drawn in by the sound waves the hamon had created above the water. Then it was two, then three, four... and finally five, the whole pod jumping above and chirping happily.
Elizabeth squealed with laughter, hopping up to the lower step of the wooden railing so she could have a better view of the animals. Though the barrier was not tall enough for her to actually fall down, Straizo instinctively held her by the back of her robes with a muttered, but not worried "careful, now…".
-"Look! They are greeting us!!"
Elizabeth waved at the mammals, laughing with pure joy and enthusiasm. Straizo felt a profound swell of pride deep in his chest warm and content with his daughter's reaction. He thrived on making her happy, small quiet triumphs that reaffirmed him as a good dad. They stood watching the animals until they jumped up one last time, finally sinking into the waters below, leaving in search for food.
Elizabeth jumped down from the railing onto the deck, her face radiating joy.
-"Weren't they so cool?"
Straizo nearly snorted, nearly. Truth be told, he had barely stolen a glance at them, his focus was on his daughter, drinking in her joy like a medicine. But at least he manages a stiff nod… thankfully Elizabeth already knew her dad and was used to his lack of eloquence. Just a simple nod like that was enough to make her smile anew.
-"Let us head inside, my dear. The sun is setting"
He turned on his heel, ready to descend downstairs into the cabins, but Elizabeth stopped and pointed to the front of the deck.
-"Look, lights! That must be Liverpool, am I right?"
Her father simply gazed at the port for a couple of seconds and then... nodded. It was true, a lighthouse shone brightly cutting through the thick fog and dark night in the distance.
Liverpool.
The grand journey consumed around fifty days total. First they had departed from Tibet on horseback just to get to the port at the nation’s border, and then they had to get on a steam boat...
Today at long last, they had reached the shore.
They had done this trip once a year since Elizabeth was five, and they always spent the days with the Joestar family and Erina for a couple of months. The kids could play and the adults could finally share the burden of their sorrows.
-"We will likely drop anchor by tomorrow morning."
He stared at the lights for a second longer.
-"Let us have dinner"
The little girl turned and followed her dad, playing a silent game where she had to step just where her father’s footsteps had fallen before, Straizo’s long firm strides turned shorter without saying a word.
They barely stayed around after finishing their meals, soon leaving for their room to rest.
-"We must go to bed early. A hamon warrior needs ample rest..." - His eyes wrinkled at the corners, a hidden smile - "the smaller you are the more sleep you'll need"
-"I am not small! I am eleven years old!!"
Straizo had to fight himself to hold his laugh in.
-"You are right. Forgive me, eleven is a formidable age." - he manages to mutter with a slight smirk - "Regardless... it is time for bed"
He grabs the covers and pulls them back for Elizabeth to get in, tucking her in and smoothing the sheets once she has gotten comfortable. With a tenderness he only reserved for the little girl, he pinched her cheek between the pointer and index finger, with no force, just a loving gesture unique to father and daughter.
-"Good night, my little girl" - is what he whispered as he leaned in, blowing out the candles.
Yet sleep hadn’t fully set yet, a deep nervousness kept both of them awake.
In her narrow bed, the little girl was thinking about the day to come, how much she was going to play with George. A flicker of worry bloomed in her chest because, deep down, she harbored a childish fear that maybe the Joestar boy could have forgotten about her after so many months apart. Sighing, she pulled the blankets over her face, an attempt to silence her running thoughts.
Across the room, Straizo lay perfectly still, eyes still closed, face and composed… yet his mind wandered awake. He looked forward to meeting Erina, they had a lifetime of catching up to do. He couldn’t help but wonder about the Joestar boy. How was George doing with his studies? Was he growing into a proper gentleman? Did Erina harbor the same anxieties regarding the future of the kid as much as Straizo worried about his little girl? And most importantly… How was she preparing for the inevitable storm of adolescence? What if they both turned into rebellious creatures, growing distant, and casting off authority? He caught himself mumbling and groaning by just thinking about it…
Of course, he knew he couldn’t shelter and guide her forever, yet he sure admitted he had gotten dangerously comfortable with the routine of fatherhood, with having a little soul to care for or hiding beneath the heavy folds of his cape. The thought of parting with that was an agony he could scarcely bear.
It also helped set his feet on the ground. She was his anchor.
If not for Elizabeth, he knew his mind would consume him… age was a specter that Straizo feared far more than death itself. In the quiet of the night he sometimes found himself remembering Tonpetty, his master, the man that raised him. He remembers not how they grew together or the bright memories of his youth… instead, his mind fixed cruelly upon how the grandmaster had looked in his final days. Sick, feeble, a shadow of a man who once could, in young Straizo’s eyes, carry the crashing weight of the world on his shoulders without faltering.
Straizo didn’t want to lose his spark. He refused to watch his light fade. And every time he dwelled on the dark, twisted idea, it made his breath hitch, as if he was forgetting how to breath properly. His body tensed, like bracing for impact that never came and shivers ran up his back, forcing a sudden fever to creep up his neck, as if the sun was blasting him directly in the middle of the coldest night known to man.
Suddenly, he felt his hands sweat. He had let himself fall into his own mind again.
For now, age was not a worry, Elizabeth was his number one priority, hamon kept him young and strong and the girl needed someone to be there for her. So , with a slow exhale, he calmed himself as best he could.
And in that calmness, another face crept into his thoughts, one that made his hands sweat again, if only just a bit this time, not from deep anxiety though, no, this time the feeling was, at least, a bit more welcomed.
Speedwagon. That damned man. He tried to push the thought away.
The blonde barraged into his thoughts like a hurricane, and Straizo tried to escape the hurricane by closing the door… which, in consideration, was not the best way do escape it so… the hurricane won. He remembered his smile, a bit crooked on the side of his scar, the wound taking a toll on the muscles of that side of the face. Such a thing shouldn’t had made straizo purse his lips with warmth in his chest like he did. And oh, if it was only the mouth it would have been a one time thing, but no, of course not, it was the everything , because Speedwagon was like a weed and Straizo had yet to find where the root had set to truly carve him away.
Straizo shuffled on the bed, turning on his side.
This was not normal…
He pressed his eyes shut, as if trying to force himself to drift off into sleep. He could hear Elizabeth’s deep breaths, she was out. He sighed and shifted again, staring at the ceiling and letting his mind wander, too tired to fight it (or maybe he just didn’t want to).
It started five years ago… probably more… but he remembers it clearly.
Since Elizabeth and him traveled to London, they spent almost three whole months with the Joestars, each year was the same, they came when little George got his summer vacations from class and they spent summer together. And most days followed a similar routine apart from the different chores or activities that the adults had to do daily.
On one of those days, the kids had spent the whole day playing by the river near the reformed Joestar mansion and, as soon as they got to bed, they snoozed right away. Erina went to bed too, she didn’t really sleep but, since the day Jonathan had passed away, she found no joy in staying unnecessary time outside of the house, it was still a fresh wound after all. She preferred to go to her room and read a book.
And it was not because they hadn’t tried… no matter how much Speedwagon insisted, she didn’t back down, it was no use, as much as a kind and caring woman she was, her stubbornness was as remarkable.
In the end, Speedwagon and Straizo ended up in a pub that the blonde really liked. It was pretty hidden at the back of the city’s suburbs and a bit dirty, the ambiance not the most inviting one for an outsider like Straizo, even the patrons noticed his aspect and immediately knew, he was like a fish out of water. But Speedwagon’s talent for finding the best places to drink was unmatched, living in the slums for so long gave him the charisma and the commanding presence needed to thrive in these kinds of places, so Straizo was not going to complain about it… He just sipped his wine without a care. It was pretty nice, especially since he rarely drank any alcohol, only in England, if he was honest. It was obvious, a hamon master shouldn’t be drinking alcohol but, right now, no one was here to reprimand him. It was just one day he gave way to temptation, It wouldn’t hurt a soul and only him and his half empty tumbler would know…
Speedwagon on the other hand, was buried into his fifth glass of alcohol with a perfectly straight face, staring ahead with an unreadable face.
Damn. So be it.
Straizo stretched over the counter and took the glass just before the bartender could refill it, putting a hand over the top to attract his friend’s attention.
- “What troubles your mind? I have never seen you so somber over your drink…” - Straizo muttered, hiding his mouth slightly against the rim of his own glass.
Speedwagon took a moment to answer. As if searching for the right words, maybe even wondering if it was worth it to say anything at all… yet… he took a shaky breath, grounding himself.
- “I just… This feels so wrong…” - He rubbed his forehead, then his face. - “It shouldn’t be just the two of us…”
Straizo raised his eyebrows. Nostalgia was a dreadful disease. Speedwagon went into this same charade every year, he was a man guided by his heart.
- “My mind cannot fathom it… it just… makes no sense” - He sank into his seat, his spirit broken.
Straizo stared silently for a few seconds. He was a man of few words, conversation brought him little comfort.
- “Death is not meant to be understood by the living.” - He slid the glass back to Speedwagon. - “Do not try to seek its meaning or you will go mad… I do not think it will ever stop hurting, Speedwagon. But we must carry on.”
Speedwagon scoffed loudly, yanking his glass away from his friend’s hand and asking for a refill. - - “You always say such rubbish, as if it were so easy. If words could mend me I wouldn’t be sitting here drowning in gin…” - the kids weren’t here, Erina wasn’t here, he didn’t need to keep pretending to be a model citizen. And Straizo annoyed him very easily, all that empty deep talk, too many words to just say nothing at all.
Straizo frowned at the comment, an ember of anger setting deep inside his chest. - “Do not expect me to cure our sorrows. I can only offer you what little i poss-”
-“Then you are better off silent” - He cut him as he wrapped both hands around the small glass to stop them from shaking, his knuckles turning white from the force.
Speedwagon words sank Straizo to the ground, realizing what was going on. His friend didn’t want help, he just wanted to suffer for the sake of suffering. He wasn’t even trying to listen.
Without a second thought, Straizo slammed his glass on the counter, hard, definitive. Yet he kept his calm exterior perfectly unmoved.
-“I am not staying here a second longer. Bask in your sorrow alone, until you grieve the living you have lost to your stubbornness.”
For a second, Speedwagon choked on his own breath, anger seeping into his blood, he loosened his expensive cravat, feeling it choke at his throat like a vice, his thick black eyebrows furrowing in utter exasperation. He stared forward at the collection of beverages stacked at the front cupboards of the pub, yet he looked from the corner of his eye at his friend, searching for the smallest emotion as his fingers mindlessly started brushing at a dent in the wood of the table they sat at, as if that could settle him. Straizo’s face, despite his angry tone, was calm, eyes sharp like blades and cold, as ice, pitying the mess of a man his friend had become. And he knew how much Speedwagon had grown to despite it every time he did that.
To Speedwagon, the man sometimes acted like he was above everyone else. He was, oh, so disgustingly noble, his feelings never once got to him. He always had empty words for any poor soul seeking for the slightest spark of help, as if he was without fault in the world, as if living in those mountains made him open his eyes to every truth in the entire universe. It felt hollow. It felt practiced, like he wasn’t speaking to you as a friend at all… but some type of mentor looking down at you with that disgusting pity… Speedwagon’s blood turned into venom, the cocktail of grief, alcohol and anger creating a bomb ready to burst. He clenched his jaw, his muscles bulging slightly at the force.
-“Then go, see if I care! Living up in those plains has withered the vey soul out of you” - He invaded his friend’s space, grabbing the man by the scarf and pulling at him, his knuckles white- “You think you are better than the rest of us, don’t you?” - A push from Straizo. Another harsh pull from himself. His words stammered, rambling - “How could you so easily mend this wound? You lost as much as us yet, you are here as if nothing happened” - Warmth pooled in the corners of his eyes, he went silent as his face contorted into a pained expression, his breathing getting shaky as he stared into Straizo’s eyes for longer than he wanted to, his feelings bleeding out so shamefully easy. Like a kid, Straizo’s had thought the first time he saw him like this all those years ago.
- “How do you manage to keep on?” - A broken whisper left his lips, his hand releasing his iron grip yet still grabbing at him.
Speedwagon trembled, holding onto that scarf like a lifeline. Like if he let go, Straizo would leave to disappear into those disgusting mountains to never return. Slowly, the Tibetan man raised his hands and rested them over his companion’s, firm but soft. They were cold even now, Speedwagon managed to notice.
-“You are drunk. Let us go home.”
-“Answer me!” - He held harder onto Straizo, shoving him back slightly with regained force.
The dark-haired man stared into his eyes, his own sharp and cold. Speedwagon’s mouth contorted into a snarl, forced and taut, he was pitying him… This miserable dog was feeling sorry for him.
-“Stop staring like that or I swear to God I’m going to smash your bloody teeth in, Straizo”
Straizo groaned in exasperation.
-“Listen, you are drawing the eyes of everyone… let us leave…”
-“You don’t even know what it is to love someone, of course, you don’t know a bloody thing, tucked away in your damn mountains” - He got really close, alcohol breath hitting Straizo on the face as he rasped. - “You never had your reason to change for the better ripped straight out of your hands.”
Straizo wrinkled his nose. Disgusting. Miserable. He had spent months shutting down his emotions, just to have them shoved in his face and questioned by someone who can’t control their own… He clenched his fist in his own robes, holding any possible outburst he couldn’t hold in.
-“I’m leaving” - he smacked Speedwagon’s arm to release himself, but the man held on.
-“Do not leave me… I feel miserable” - he groaned and let his head fall against Straizo’s arm. He looked tired, weak… and for a split second…
Older.
It sank into Straizo, they were older. And they kept fighting like they were still twenty-five years old.
-“I will not go, but we are leaving.” - He emphasized the WE. - “What a mess…” - Straizo took a moment to pay, the bartender was staring to get restless, and pulled Speedwagon’s left arm over his shoulders to help him up, as if carrying a wounded soldier. - “Walk…” - He wasn’t even that drunk, and Straizo knew that in the morning he would even argue that he wasn’t drunk at all, but the ache that settled into his body brought him down and would keep him weakened for another day at least.
Once they got out, curious stares following them until they crossed to the other side of the door, Straizo looked at him coldly from the corner of his eye, his tone revealing how upset he was. - “You do have a habit of making a spectacle of yourself.”
Speedwagon laughed, dry and short. His eyes looking down at his own feet, which slid on the ground, not lifting properly - “We could’ve had staged a row and left the pub without paying…”
-“Idiot”
-“Thank you…” - Straizo looked at him with a quirked eyebrow… and Speedwagon groaned - “For staying, not for insulting me, you imbecile”
A low, bubbly laugh cut the silence in the alley. Breathy and short, but strangely warm and kind to be coming from a man as serious as Straizo.
-“I am going to tell Erina you have insulted me the whole night.”
-“Shut your mouth, man…” - he snorted.
Straizo stared at him, eyes wrinkled in amusement. - “Finally, you act like yourself.”
Speedwagon got silent for a moment, yet, surprisingly, Straizo kept talking.
-“We cannot contend with destiny, that’s the first thing I learned as a Hamon disciple.” - He looked down - “Yet no one prepared me for the anguish of such a definite parting with people we love… I understand your sorrow, Speedwagon, believe me I do, and, at times, it strikes at my soul despite thinking I already had found peace.” - A sad smile painted his lips - “I believe your spirit is stronger than mine, for you refuse to forget, as much as it may anguish you… whereas I try day after day to drown the past.
A soft sigh escaped his lips, his steps slowing to a complete stop.
- “It does not merit your tears.” - He lowered his head to look at him, the grip on his hands getting softer.
Straizo never knew what had come over Speedwagon at that moment, the more he thought about it, he was pretty sure that he would never truly get to know… It began with a soft caress on his cheek, far more gentle than any person would expect from such a man as rough as Speedwagon. With the hand that was over Straizo’s shoulders as he helped him walk over he softly pulled him towards himself, a delicate but decisive pull.
Then he felt it.
A warm delicate touch.
He felt the swift, tender press of lips against his cheek, stopping just shy of his mouth. Though he could have sworn it brushed the corner of his lips. He smelled of cologne and whatever alcohol he had asked for at the pub. His eyes opened in utter shock, gazing sideways at the man that had just kissed him so boldly… Speedwagon had closed his eyes, savoring such a moment, his face unbothered. He soon pulled back, and a burning prickling sensation took over Straizo running up his spine and face. Before he could stop it, he blushed a deep crimson.
-“Wh-What is-” - He was left speechless.
Speedwagon stayed silent, he just looked to the side in shameful regret.
-“Do not fall silent on me now…”
-“….”
-“Are you mad…? We are both-”
-“What? Please do tell, what are we that you think I hadn’t taken into consideration before this?”
A nasty silence fell over both men, standing away from each other.
-“I am not Jonathan, Speedwagon”
Speedwagon’s hands trembled, the mention of that name leaving him frozen in place. He held his breath in as the cold of the night started to settle into his aching bones. He slowly stared down at his own feet, the pebbles and weeds of the road suddenly, oh, so interesting. His silence was clawing at Straizo’s chest. Speedwagon’s feelings were a loud secret that anyone that had met him could have guessed easily, and, to a man like him, the heart was a major weakness.
-“Do not make a toy of me.” - Tone cold and distant, a warning, yet vulnerability washed over him, unsure if it would be wiser to step forwards or step backwards.
Speedwagon lifted his chin, striking a pose of sudden sincerity despite his trembling words. His lips twitched, and his nervous gaze could not fix upon a single spot for more than a few seconds. He opened his mouth to speak. His voice began as a shaky rasp, but quickly rose into a loud, undeniable confession.
-“I’m not playing a game with your affections! By God I swear it…” - he raised his hands close to his chest, his fingers lingering over his heart like an oath.
-“Yes, its true, i still love him… Jonathan’s memory is one with my soul and tearing him away would bleed me to death” - His voice wavered, torn between saying his name or not. - “But heaven help me, Straizo, you are no shadow of his to me. You also have taken hold of my heart.”
Straizo raised a hand slowly, the tips of his fingers lingered over the spot where Speedwagon had kissed him as a slight redness took over his face.
-“We will talk about this tomorrow morning… for today, we need rest.” - Straizo held him by the wrist of the cloak he was wearing and pulled slightly.
Curse it all, Speedwagon, the mess that you are. Always tearing me apart, he had thought.
That night granted no rest to either of them, and safe to say, the morning arrived with a muted shyness from both parties, the deep conversation they had promised last night now forgotten. But something had shifted, oh so slightly, and truth be told, none of the men truly wanted to run from this quiet change.
Straizo hadn’t driven the blonde away that night.
Speedwagon hadn’t denied what transpired that night.
So they just settled into their own peculiar routine where, sometimes, Speedwagon’s hand lingered for longer than expected upon Straizo’s arm, or maybe he guided him with a soft touch to the small of his back. He was forward in his affections, and boldly invaded Straizo’s personal space and boundaries, discarding formalities just to talk close to him with that pretty crooked smile.
And Straizo never once objected to any of it.
Other times, Straizo would fix his gaze onto the blonde’s eyes for longer than what was proper, as if trying to speak to his soul, or he would adjust his stance ever so slightly to just be subtly resting his weight on the man, invading his space. He remained quiet and distant, yet always seeking for a point of connection, be it a brush of their shoes or the casual friction of their arms. And that stare never faltered, sharp and untamed but full of unspoken emotions, especially when the corners of those eyes wrinkled in silent amusement.
And Speedwagon never once pushed any of it away.
And with every year that came by their dance got more intimate, for comfort is deceptive and when you realize it, has already set into your bones.
They maintained a low profile into this courtship, discreet and hidden, or perhaps that’s what straizo hoped for. In truth, Speedwagon’s soul burned to take the lead. He pushed boundaries every time they met, reckless confidence emanating of him.
Only the previous year, they had been sitting at a bar when Speedwagon had circled his hand around Straizo’s waist, all while he talked about his new business in America. If he had to be truthful to himself, Straizo remembered absolutely nothing about that conversation… He was a monk, a man of pure devotion and mindfulness… Yet the slow, deliberate circles those fingers kept tracing against his waist haunted his thoughts for the whole season. The way the rough fingertips just ever so slightly grazed the edge of his garments, he had felt the skin on skin with a deep shudder up his spine. And then came that insolent smile, the way speedwagon had slowly arched his eyebrows in amusement when he caught Straizo’s disapproving stare, getting slightly closer without a shred of shame…
-“Insolent devil…”
Straizo snapped back to reality, a low mumble leaving him as a distinct redness started to set over his cheeks. He knitted his brows, lips tightening into a trembling line before turning around sharply on the bed, facing the blank wall.
These upcoming three months were going to be a challenge, he was convinced of it. Though, a pretty small part of his being, felt a shy thrill at the idea… A weak voice he would never let out, he wouldn’t acknowledge it.
For to admit a man had become your weakness, so very easily, was a shameful thing.
_____________
A week.
That’s all they had waited for the mask to break, all they were capable of keeping off each other. A week. From the morning of Monday when the boat had reached the shore, to Friday, seven days had proved to be too much, an eternity, for both men.
The lingering stares, the silent gestures, the small little touches, each one carrying so much to even be properly felt. Night walks, deep conversations.
It was on one of those nights they finally tore their walls down. What started as mere friendly banter soon receded to give way for their senses to run back to that well-known, dangerous territory.
-“We should stop this… It’s not alright, and you know it… We both know it” - Straizo muttered as he was cornered against the wall at the back of the bar, hidden in the alley where the bottles were thrown every night. They had just gotten out of a pub walking towards the next one, that had been the idea at least.
-“You said that the last time” - Speedwagon’s voice was soft, a whisper tinted by the smile adorning his lips. He claimed as calm as someone says the sky is blue.
-“Well, this time I mean it” - But as he said it, he held onto the blonde by the shoulders, not to push him away and neither to bring him closer… but to make him stay in place, a silent plea to not get away.
-“Of course you mean it Straizo, also as you did last time.” - Speedwagon was standing on the tips of his toes, he was slightly shorter than the Tibetan man, this way he could reach his face and hold his gaze. His hands settled firmly over Straizo’s waist, drawing the man towards him.
-“You didn’t even wait to get drunk today… What is our excuse...?” - He shuddered at those hands, strong and big, grounding him.
-“Excuse? Are you still making excuses for this, Straizo? Have you no shame?”
Speedwagon’s breath was heavy with a slight tinge of alcohol, he had gotten really close to that pale neck, his mouth opened and gave way to the tip of the tongue, darting out ever so slightly, almost with shyness. And just as he dared to make contact, those hands on his shoulders pushed him down on the flats of his feet again.
-“You…”
Speedwagon looked up, smiling with his eyebrows raised in an arrogant mocking gesture. - “Me” - He moved his fingers in small circles on those hips, the tips dipping slightly under the waist band with each caress.
Straizo’s hands traveled up those broad shoulders, resting at the nape of the man’s neck, tangling in the curly hair that was growing there into that wild mullet of his. Speedwagon’s smile softened into kindness, the audacity still there, yet it had lost its sharp edge. He drew in the taller man by the waist and stood on the tip of his toes once more until their faces mere inches apart… Straizo gazed at those beautiful brown eyes that appeared almost black in the night. Speedwagon was staring back, a silent plea in his eyes, and Straizo realized he couldn’t fight it anymore, he didn’t want to. The moment he slightly tilted his head and closed his eyes, it took barely a heartbeat until their lips met. He had expected a strong, ravenous impact, but Speedwagon was surprisingly tender, pressing forward slightly to sink into the kiss with controlled eagerness.
He would deny it, he would deny it all his life, but Straizo pulled the man closer by the back of the neck, a small drawn out noise leaving his throat, a deep murmur, tender and content. He felt the tingle of shame on his face, for he realized he was being too noisy…
Speedwagon inhaled and exhaled through his nose without breaking the kiss, regaining air just to keep it going for just a tad bit longer.
He got closer again, and licked at those lips, eyes looking up, searching for the cold ones of his friend’s through short blonde eyelashes. Straizo pulled back slightly.
-“That’s too much…” - Straizo rasped, barely finding his words.
-“That’s w-“ - Speedwagon dared to speak, but a hand swiftly covered his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise, one eyebrow raising up, Straizo knew the man was wearing that insufferable smile, even with his mouth covered.
-“Yes, what I said last time.” - He muttered. He withdrew his hand back, slowly lowering his head in search for those lips once more, sighing through his nose at the contact. He pulled back slightly while their lips still brushed with each syllable - “Change my mind then.” - as he spoke, a tentative smirk settled onto his face, of course it did, a small and sharp one.
Speedwagon snorted, smiling back, arrogant, all teeth and slightly crooked on the side where the old scar had damaged his facial muscles. Straizo hated it, for it made him soft, it rendered him a lover. And a lover was not meant to survive in a world so deeply cruel.
-“First “no”, now “change my mind”…” - Speedwagon whispered against the taller man’s lips, as he dropped his weight on him. - “You keep shifting your mind, Straizo. How do you expect me to know what you want?”
-“Oh please, do not play innocent, It’s easy for you…” - Straizo replied, snapping his teeth in the empty air, playful yet menacing. - “Simply continue doing whatever you want, just as you always do…”
He drew his face closer to the man’s ear, black strands of hair framing his pale skin.
-“You have yet to disappoint me.”
A shiver ran down Speedwagon’s arms, his skin prickling as the words seeped into his very soul.
-“Damnit… Don’t provoke me like that, Straizo.”
Straizo stayed silent, merely pulling the man’s body flush to his and claiming his mouth once more. This time, when that tongue brushed against his lips, demanding permission, he parted them—slowly, tentatively…
But Speedwagon was anything but slow, a fierce desperation eating at him like a starving beast.
A low, throaty sound escaped Straizo’s lips as he held onto Speedwagon’s back, surrendering to the embrace and pulling on his coat, as if to anchor himself to something real. Such intimacy was utterly new to him, he had never dared to dip so deeply into the pleasures of the flesh. Speedwagon’s fervent kisses stole the air from his lungs, leaving him a shuddering mess.
They were the center of their universes right now. Straizo pulled away to gasp for air, cold and sharp from the night hours, but Speedwagon followed after him, capturing his lips again. The alley was dead silent, only broken by the low hum of their breathless sighs and the desperate sounds of such an encounter.
Straizo had tangled his fingers into Speedwagon’s hair, pulling him in until their teeth clashed in desperation. Opposite him, the blonde was absolutely incapable of keeping his hands to himself, he had grabbed Straizo’s waist at first, but now, with their chests pressed without an inch of space, his hands had wandered up to his muscular back—slim at the waist yet broad at the shoulders—and kept caressing up and down as desperate need to feel him took over him. He pressed their hips together until the friction stole the very breath from Straizo’s lungs, pulling it into a sharp, yielding sound, tearing from deep within his chest. He pushed him away, desperate for air.
-“N-now that is too much…” - he rasped, gazing down with heavy, half-lidded eyes, at the man that was unraveling him. The lust in his gaze was impossible to conceal.
-“Can I change your mind on this too?” - he challenged. The Ogre Street thug in hem bleeding into his voice, arrogant and entirely unashamed as his eyes locked onto those parted lips, gleaming and gasping for air. He wanted to keep testing just how far he could push the taller man until he snapped.
At those arrogant words, at the sight of that confident smirk, something inside Straizo snapped. His hand flew forward and grabbed Speedwagon by his half-loose cravat, tugging at the silk hard and forcefully. He took him by surprise as he spun the shorter man around, pressing Speedwagon’s back flat against the alley wall.
-“No. You cannot.” - Straizo breathed, a toothy smirk adorning his features as he inched closer. - “Earn it.”
For a moment, their breathing got quieter, the atmosphere between them growing heavy despite the freezing fog already blanketing the streets, rolling from the riverbed into the city. A pair of drunken patrons stumbled by the entrance of the alley, laughing and joking with glass bottles in their hands, oblivious to how close they were to such a scandalous act. In the distance, a chorus of horses neighed loudly, likely from the carriage depot.
Under the gas lamps, moths gathered, flying mesmerized by the fire. Upon the rooftops, stray cats nestled together to sleep… while in the darkness of the alley… There was only them.
They drew closer once more but, this time, both froze for a split second. Footsteps and loud yelling echoed from inside the pub, seems someone was coming out the back door to throw out the trash. With quick reflexes, Speedwagon grabbed Straizo by the wrist and took off, a bubbly laugh escaping his chest at the thrill of almost being caught. Straizo followed close behind and saw the man looking back at him, his face still arrogant, yet full of challenge and… affection.
He knew this night was far from over, and he knew it was going to alter their entanglement once again, shifting it into something far more intimate…
And no rejection came with the thought of it. Because, after all, Speedwagon had made him a lover, and now he had to love with all his heart.