Chapter Text
“And then he punched me in the ass.”
Jake makes a horrified noise as he looks up from his case file, turning to Jay. “One of your greatest features. What a monster.”
“I know, right? What the fuck?” he exasperates, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I was like, what kind of freak goes straight for the ass? Oh— No, actually, I think it’s a compliment. Even a criminal didn’t wanna damage this beauty.” He gestures to his face.
Jake looks unconvinced. “Uh huh. Yeah, totally.”
Jay touches his own features with gratitude at the fact that they’re still intact. “I can’t afford to break my nose, anyway. How else am I going to snort all that cocaine in the evidence room?”
Jake’s eyes widen and he looks around the office, before rolling his chair closer. “Dude— Could you pick a worse place to say that?” he hisses.
And, okay, Jay admits that his brain-to-mouth barrier has thinned over the long week. Sure, maybe he shouldn’t talk about snorting cocaine in a precinct crawling with law enforcement officers.
He doesn’t even do cocaine.
Jake sighs. “Hey, on the bright side, maybe the guy had a thing for you?”
Huh. Jay hadn’t thought about that. He stares off into the distance, replaying the scene in his head.
He had been working a regular case— minor misdemeanour, first-time perpetrator, all that boring shit— when the suspect had taken off trying to escape. Jay, of course, had grabbed him and tackled him, only to be met by a punch to his left asscheek when they were both on the floor.
“Eh,” he shrugs, resting his elbow on his desk with a wistful smile. “I wouldn’t blame him. But he wasn’t really my type.”
Jake huffs. “I don’t even know your type, dude. I’ve never seen you with someone.”
“I don’t think I have a type.”
“Nah, everyone’s got a type,” he insists, then looks around the office at everyone. He points someone out. “For example, Sunghoon's type is shorter than him, slightly annoying, uh… maybe dark hair. Sunoo’s type is literally just himself. Whereas Niki’s is…”
He pauses, and they both watch as Niki grabs a staple gun and fires it into the photocopying machine, causing it to go up in flames.
They shudder.
“I don’t know what his type is,” Jake whispers. “But is it weird that I’m curious to find out?”
Jay shrugs. “He’s got that mysterious aura.”
“Why are you pretending to be young? People your age shouldn’t be using the word aura.”
Jay presses a hand to his chest. “What the fuck? I’m literally in my twenties,” he says, scandalised. “Why are you aging me up?”
“Whatever. Anyway, what I was trying to get at is that everyone in this office has a type, except you. Or you do have a type, but you never even date anyone so I guess we wouldn’t know.”
It’s true. Jay has never introduced anyone to his friends, mainly because he never finds anyone he’s interested in. And he wouldn’t say he’s picky. He’s just accepted the fact that he’s not interested in romance, because no one gets his gears grinding, or whatever the expression is.
So he says all that to Jake.
“I call bullshit,” Jake states, folding one leg over the other. “Physical attributes?”
Jay scoffs, waving his hand. “I’m not so shallow.”
“You’re a liar, that's what you are.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Okay,” Jake concedes, eyebrow raised. “What did your last hookup look like?”
Jay takes a moment to think back. It’s not very clear in his head. Someone he met in a bar during one of their work celebrations, but he had been pretty drunk and tired so he doesn’t remember much of it.
He racks his brain for an answer. “Um… I don’t know.”
“Not good enough.”
“Why am I being interrogated?” Jay asks in frustration. “You sound like my mom. Are you trying to set me up with someone?” He narrows his eyes, leaning forwards to examine Jake’s facial expression. It doesn’t give anything away. “Because I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Jake puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m not trying to set you up. I’m just curious.”
“I hope this curiosity is about a case,” someone says from behind them, causing them both to jump. “Not something useless, like when you two were discussing nostril shapes last Monday.”
Jake guiltily picks up a paperclip and fiddles with it, avoiding Heeseung’s gaze.
Jay clears his throat and pretends to be busy with something on his computer, which doesn’t really work because the screen is blank and he hasn’t turned it on since he sat down.
Heeseung turns to Jay with a sigh. “You’re back. How did the case go?”
“I got punched in the buttock,” Jay explains, gesturing to his lower-half.
“Oh no,” Heeseung says sympathetically, although Jay can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. “I hope this… debilitating injury won’t distract you from that enormous pile of cases on your desk.”
They all look at said pile.
Admittedly, Jay has fallen behind on work. It’s not like he’s intentionally slacking— not at all. He’s one of their top detectives, if he does say so himself, and he’s usually very efficient. Not that he has anything better to do than solve cases.
The thing is, two of their senior detectives left just last week, meaning that a lot of the workload has been shifted. Everyone got more cases, but because of Jay’s brilliant reputation of being a workaholic loser, he was lumped with most of them.
Hence the ever-growing pile.
“Not at all, sir,” Jay quickly says once he realises he had forgotten to answer. He grabs a random, unopened file and holds it up triumphantly. “I’m working on a new case right now, actually. This one.”
“What’s it about?” he asks, to which Jay goes to open it. However, Heeseung plucks it out of his hands. “Without looking. You must know, if you’ve been working on it. Right, Detective Park? So tell me.”
Jay grimaces. He exchanges a look with Jake, who seems just as helpless.
So he takes a breath and starts guessing. “An old woman… murdered.”
Heeseung raises an eyebrow, opening the file to read it. “An old woman was murdered?”
Jay tries to read his face to figure out if he’s on the right lines, or not. Judging by Heeseung’s disappointed face, he assumes that he’s getting it wrong. “No!” he cuts in, albeit a little too loudly. He shakes his head. “No, I mean— an old woman murderer.”
Heeseung exhales in disappointment. “And how does this old woman murder people?”
He’s stumped. Jay looks back at Jake for any ideas, to which Jake starts making strange gestures with his hands. He frowns and tries to decipher it.
“She… beats them to death?” Jay guesses, although it comes out as more of a question. “With a— cat? And then she…” He watches as Jake makes a spinning movement with his arms. “She jumps in her washer to relieve herself.”
In his defence, Jake is useless.
Heeseung closes the file and chucks it back onto the desk, then folds his arms. “Thank you for that mime performance, Jake. You were both wrong. It’s an armed robbery.”
Armed robbery.
“Hell yes!” Jay exclaims, then high fives Jake as the two of them laugh together. “An armed robbery. Oh, man, it’s my lucky day.”
Heeseung raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know armed robberies were associated with luck. Is this a superstitious thing?”
Jay can’t help the giddy feeling in his chest. He opens up the file and scans over it with his eyes, picking out all the details as Jake starts to explain.
“He has this thing with Jungwon. You know, the whole ‘who can bring in the most felons by the end of the year’ thing?”
Heeseung makes a soft ah noise, nodding. “Is that why there’s some strange tally chart on the whiteboard in the briefing room?”
“They gotta keep score.”
Just as Jay closes the file and starts clearing his desk to make room for it, Sunoo walks past. He stops by the three of them with a mysterious look in his eyes. “Weewoo.”
Jay frowns. “What the fuck is weewoo?”
Sunoo exhales, as if he’s annoyed that Jay doesn’t immediately understand what he’s saying. “That’s me sounding a terrifying alarm, Jay,” he explains, then jerks his head in the opposite direction. “Look who’s coming out of the elevator.”
Jay glances over.
Speak of the devil.
The first thing he sees is Jungwon stepping out in his infuriating suit with his infuriating hair, his infuriating lips curled up infuriatingly. Jay is so busy staring that he almost doesn’t even notice the perp he is dragging towards the holding cell, handing him over to one of the officers with a sweet smile.
Jay’s blood boils.
They all watch as Jungwon walks into the desk section where they all are, smirking— again, infuriatingly— at Jay before walking in the direction of the briefing room.
Jay gets up to quickly follow after him, and the other three tag along.
“There’s no way you solved that case so fast,” Jay complains as he walks behind Jungwon towards the whiteboard, hot on his heels. He glares at the back of his head. “You must’ve… cheated.”
Jungwon scoffs, grabbing one of the markers. “I don’t think it’s possible to cheat in this scenario,” he says, uncapping it with his teeth. Jay is forced to watch as he draws another line under his section. “I’m in the lead. Twelve, eleven.”
“That’s barely anything,” Jay huffs, folding his arms. Jungwon doesn’t turn to look at him, though. He just keeps staring at the whiteboard like he’s so proud. “Why don’t you jump on it and grind all over it if you love it that much?”
That gets Jungwon to spin to face him. “Jealous?”
Sunoo folds his legs up on one of the tables. “Can you two stop flirting?”
Jay splutters, ignoring Sunoo as he glares at Jungwon. “Me? Jealous? Of the whiteboard? Please. I don’t want you to jump on me, and… grind all over me. I’d rather be murdered,” he says, then adds: “By an old lady with bladder problems.”
The room falls silent.
Jay hears Jake sigh next to him and pat his shoulder. “I think he meant jealous of the fact that he’s beating you. But I can totally see why you thought differently. Totally.”
Jungwon rolls his eyes. “As if I’d want to ever do stuff with you.”
Now, Jay would say he’s a reasonably calm person. However, he doesn’t appreciate having his ego trampled on so hard. “I’ll have you know that there are many people who want to do stuff with me. They’re lining up to get a piece of the Jongster.”
Jake grins and high fives him. “The Jongster.”
“Exactly. I have a nickname, which shows I’m well-loved. Look at all my fans.” He doesn’t know why, but he gestures wildly with his hand in the direction of the main office, which causes them all to look. However, the only people lining up are the criminals waiting to go into the holding cell.
Sunoo cackles, slapping his knee. “I can see you have a type. Old men in wifebeaters.”
“Shut up.”
Heeseung finally clears his throat, saving Jay from his embarrassment. “I’m… confused. I don’t get what’s going on.”
Heeseung has only been around for a few weeks since the last captain literally died in his office— none of them had noticed he was dead, really, because he used to always take naps. However, when the nap lasted for three days straight, Jay had gone in to check.
Needless to say he has not taken a nap himself since.
Regardless of all that business, Heeseung has been a new addition to their little team. Jay doesn’t know him too well yet, and he does scare the shit out of him sometimes because he can never tell what he’s thinking, but he seems better than the last guy. God bless his soul.
“The point of this is that we made a bet,” Jay explains to him, leaning against one of the tables. “We each get something if either of us wins.”
“And how do you win?”
“By bringing in the most felons,” Jay tells him, and Jungwon nods. “So far I’ve caught eleven, and Jungwon… yeah, whatever. You can see for yourself.” It burns too much to say the figure aloud. “But I am going to win.”
Jake pipes in. “If he wins, Jungwon has to come to Jay’s family dinner pretending to be his boyfriend to his mom.”
Jay smiles smugly, looking over at Jungwon who just rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at him.
Sunoo yawns exaggeratedly.
“I still don’t get it,” Heeseung says, although he seems rather amused now. “Why do you want Jungwon to pretend to be your… boyfriend?”
It’s such a long story, but Jay tries to shorten it down as well as he can.
“Because my mom won’t get off my back about me settling down, and I never find anyone I want to be with, so she won’t stop trying to set me up on dates,” he explains. “But if Jungwon pretends to be my boyfriend and he shows up to prove it, I can finally live a peaceful, single life.”
Jay smiles at the thought of it. Of using Jungwon to get his mother to stop setting him up on these awful dates which are such a waste of his time, because not only does he not like the dates, but he could be doing way more important stuff. Like solving cases. Or beating Jungwon’s ass in a game of Tekken.
Equally as important.
“That won’t even happen,” Jungwon says firmly. “Because if I win, I get Jay’s car. And I’m going to win.”
Heeseung makes a noise, then addresses Jay. “Well I think having no car would make coming to work pretty hard, Detective Park.”
Jay shrugs. “Jungwon isn’t going to beat me.”
“He’s beating you now,” Jake says, to which Jay subtly elbows him to say ‘who’s side are you even on?’, prompting Jake to stop talking.
Jungwon smirks, one of his dimples poking through. “Get ready to walk everywhere, you walking walker loser.”
Jay makes a face. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Shut up and just walk away from me. It’ll do you some good, practicing your walking skills for when I take your car.” Jungwon leans back against the whiteboard, then stumbles a little because it has wheels and doesn’t support his entire body weight. He straightens himself out again.
Cute.
Jay shakes his head to dispel the thought. “Well— You should start… preparing to eat. Because that’s what you’ll be doing when I beat you and you have to eat with my family.”
He does wince when the words leave his own mouth, because wow, that really did not land well or come out right.
Jake pats his back. “You tried.”
“Oh yeah?” Jungwon retorts at Jay, standing up straighter. “Maybe you’re the one who’s gonna be eating my car exhaust fumes when you’re walking down the street and I—”
“Alright, enough,” Heeseung cuts in with a long exhale, pressing a hand to his forehead. Jay wishes he hadn’t cut in, because Jungwon was clearly about to embarrass himself with that awful sentence. “You two, stop fighting like infants.”
“I don’t think infants can fight, sir,” Jake interrupts.
“Why are you even here? Go back to your desk,” Heeseung tells him, pointing outside of the briefing room. “And Sunoo— wake up.”
Sunoo startles from where he’d fallen asleep atop of a table. His eyes fly open, and he sits up so quickly he almost falls off. “I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Where are the papers I asked you to print for me?” Heeseung asks, then checks his watch. “Three hours ago?”
To be honest, Sunoo doesn’t look too bothered. He wipes the drool off his lips and shrugs. “The printer isn’t working.”
They all glance out of the window towards the printer, where Sunghoon is currently printing something out. He looks over and waves with a bright smile at them all.
Sunoo shrugs. “I guess it only works for subpar humans.”
“Go and get that done.”
Sunoo begrudgingly slides off the desk with a groan, shooting them all a disinterested look before slinking out of the room. Jake leaves too, mouthing a quick goodbye to Jay.
Heeseung turns to Jungwon. “I take it that you solved your case?”
Jungwon smiles proudly and nods. “The guy was an ex-employee, it wasn’t too hard to track him and his friends down,” he explains, not bothering to look at Jay. “I just have to interrogate him later on.”
Heeseung looks mildly impressed. “Good job. I’ll let you know when the interrogation room is free.”
“Yes, sir.”
Heeseung nods at Jay, then exits the room. It just leaves the two of them.
Jay runs a hand through his hair. “Don’t get too excited about this,” he says casually, folding his arms. “I’m on an armed robbery case right now. I’d say I’ll get it solved by…” He pretends to check his watch. “Tomorrow.”
Jungwon rolls his eyes, but he has a smile on his face. “I didn’t know your watch could make you a better detective.”
“Maybe you should get one.”
“I would, but I’m not you, so…” Jungwon stands up straighter, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. He places his hands on his hips, shifting his weight to his other leg. “Good luck with your case, Jay.”
He watches as Jungwon starts to walk out of the room.
Feeling unsatisfied that he didn’t get the last word in, Jay blurts whatever he can out. “For the record, I don’t want to do stuff with you, either.”
Jungwon pauses in the doorway. He looks back at Jay before scrunching his nose up in disgust. “That makes two of us.”
“Yeah,” Jay says dumbly. “Two.”
Great. You can count.
Jungwon leaves the room. Jay stands there for a few seconds before his eyes flick over to the whiteboard, and he looks at the tally one last time.
They’ve been doing this since January.
It started as a drunken new-years resolution that they both made at a bar, because they had been arguing about who the better detective was and decided that the only way to prove that was by making a bet.
So, yes, Jay decided to bet his car. Again, he had been drunk. That also explains why he had come up with the brilliant idea to introduce Jungwon to his mother if he won.
He thanks his drunken self very often for that.
Jay walks back to his desk, sinking down into his chair as he pictures the scenario— The two of them sitting around the table with his mother so proud of him for settling down, not knowing that it’s all just a big ploy. Not that Jay enjoys lying to his mother. He just feels like this is something that requires a lie.
He just wants to live freely without the pressure from her about finding a partner.
He turns his attention to the case file on his desk, pulling up some information on his computer.
The robbery is of a small, family-owned jewellery store that he, quite frankly, has never heard of. Not that Jay ever goes to jewellery stores. He thinks they’re for old people. Today will be the first.
He grabs the address and takes a picture of it, putting the location into his phone.
His back cracks as he gets up.
“Are you getting old?” Sunoo calls out from his own desk, pausing his movements. He had been scrunching up little bits of paper to throw them at Sunghoon’s head, but Jay doesn’t think Sunghoon realises what’s going on as he continues to talk on the phone with a smile on his face.
Jay doesn’t bother to comment on it. Instead he grabs his jacket, sliding his arms into it. “I’m not old.”
“That’s what my grandma said,” Sunoo sighs, shaking his head. “And then she died. Her back was pretty bad too, Jay. But don’t worry. I think I can help you.”
Jay pockets his phone with an exhale. “I’m not buying whatever you’re selling this time.”
The thing about Sunoo is that he has about fifty jobs.
It’s something Jay learnt over the years. It started out pretty tame, at first. He’d say something in passing and Sunoo would whip out some strange product, convincing him to buy it with a sob story. Then it turned weirder when he found him in the evidence room on TikTok live, doing a showcase of stolen goods.
Jay only drew the line when Sunoo started trying to auction off bags of heroin.
“It’s really good,” Sunoo insists, grabbing something out of his drawer. He stands and starts coming over to Jay, holding it up. “It’s derived from the Narnia mountains, real good stuff right here. Organic. It penetrates the flesh and works into your bones until—”
Jay brushes him off and beelines for the elevator, but Sunoo follows after him.
“My grandma should’ve used this stuff, Jay. It would have saved her,” he insists, waving it around in the air as Jay gets into the elevator. “Don’t be like Grandma-noo. Be better.”
The elevator doors finally close in Sunoo’s face.
Jay lets out a sigh of relief.
ᓚᘏᗢ
“My name is Detective Ballsack and I’m here to help these fine people,” Jay greets the old man at the desk, flashing his badge. “Do you know where the owners are?”
The only reason as to why he said that is because the guy is practically dead from old age. He shouts a deafening ‘huh?’ that causes Jay to wince and cower backwards.
“I’ll just… go to the staff room,” Jay murmurs, moving past him.
He smooths out his shirt and fixes his hair as he walks over to the door around the back of the counter, clearing his throat before knocking twice. He waits for someone to tell him to come in before twisting the handle.
It’s just a small room with a desk and a computer. There’s an old woman sitting behind the desk, and she stands and smiles at him when he shuts the door behind him.
“Ah, I assume you’re the detective?” she asks, shaking his hand before ushering him to sit down on a rickety old chair. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
Jay flashes his most charming smile. “The pleasure is all mine,” he says, bowing his head to pretend to be humble. “I just can’t stand it when anyone is injusticed, you know? I’m a man for the people. The people’s detective, if you will. Like Princess Diana if she were a detective and a man.”
She laughs, covering her mouth with a wrinkly hand. When she removes it she takes a breath and turns more serious. “I just can’t believe what happened. I never thought that someone would steal from us. We’re such a small business.”
Jay gets out his notepad and sets it on his knee, uncapping his pen. “I’ve seen it happen to all kinds of businesses, ma’am. It’s just a matter of finding out what happened.”
“I really hope you can.”
“Not to brag,” Jay starts, “But I’m the best detective in my precinct. I have a reputation.”
Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. Jay doesn’t have much of a reputation other than a negative one. But a man can dream.
She seems relieved to hear that she’s in good hands, though. That’s mainly why he said it.
“So,” he starts, jotting something down in his notepad. “I, uh… met the old guy outside. Who is he?”
Recognition sparks in her eyes. “Oh, my father. He was the one working when the robbery happened,” she explains, resting her hands on the desk. “My husband and I had been away on vacation and left him in charge, because sometimes he helps out for us. Family business.”
“So he’s the only other, um… ‘employee’?”
She nods. “Yes. We can’t afford to hire anyone else, or security. Clearly.”
Jay writes that down. “And could I see the CCTV footage from that night?”
The lady nods and turns on her computer, before shifting the screen so Jay can see it. After clicking a few things to pull up the right part, she presses play.
It starts off with the old man asleep at the counter, and even though the video is grainy, Jay can still see the way he’s drooling onto the glass. “Does he always do that? Sleep on the job?”
She looks a little sheepish as she tucks some of her hair behind her ears. “He has narcolepsy,” she states. “Which is upsetting, of course, but… it’s a risk we take whenever we need him to cover shifts.”
“Ah.” Narcolepsy. Jay remembers reading up on it a while ago, so he gets it. The sudden urge to just fall asleep, uncontrollable drowsiness. It makes sense. “And you can’t afford other staff. Okay.”
There’s a sigh as she pauses the footage, uploading it to a USB before handing it over to him so he can watch it later. Jay thanks her and pockets it.
“I’m just worried because my husband and I have to take this weekend off, so my father will be in charge of the store for two days,” she says, sounding defeated. “We would hire security, but we’re quite out-of-pocket after all this. I just hope he stays awake.”
Jay makes a quick note of that, nodding along. “What about the jewellery stolen? How much was it?”
“A couple of thousands worth. Mainly diamonds and some silver pieces we had brought in as a new shipment.”
Something clicks in Jay’s brain.
New shipment. He snaps his fingers. “So whoever helped ship the jewellery to you must’ve known the value of everything.” He closes his notebook and takes out his phone. “It’s possible that they were in on it. Do you have the details of the shipping company?”
She nods eagerly, quickly pulling up an email on the computer before reading out the details to him.
Jay makes a note of them so he can email the company when he gets back to the precinct. He turns off his phone and puts it back in his pocket along with his notebook, then rests his hands on his knees. “I’ll let you know what I find.”
“Thank you so much,” she says gratefully, standing up with him. She takes his hands and shakes them both. “You’re doing the lord’s work.”
Jay wouldn’t go that far, but he does love getting his ego boosted, so he just smiles. “Amen, sister.”
On his way out, he passes by her father. Jay waves at him, and he squints and blinks at him before waving back. “Goodbye, Mr. Ballsack!”
“Yeah…” He clears his throat, avoiding strange looks from some customers who have wandered in. “See you.”
ᓚᘏᗢ
It’s lunch break when Jay gets back to the precinct.
He walks over to his desk and takes off his jacket, throwing it over the back of his chair before opening up his emails. He writes a quick one to the shipping company, asking them for details about the specific driver and if they could come down for questioning later today.
After sending it, he heads over to the kitchen area.
Sunghoon is at the fridge, staring into it blankly.
“Yo,” Jay greets, slapping him on the back. He moves so he’s standing next to him, and they both stare into the fridge. “What are we looking at?”
Sunghoon grits his teeth. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“As in, there’s nothing in there.”
Jay blinks and looks. He thinks that Sunghoon must've caught whatever that old man at the store has, because there is plenty of food in the fridge. Reaching over, he plucks out the bread. “Do you like bread?”
In a split second, Sunghoon punches the bread out of his hands. Jay jumps back as it goes flying across the kitchen, slices flying out in all different directions.
“I don’t eat carbs,” Sunghoon growls with a crazed look on his face.
Jay’s eyes are wide as he stares at him, backing away with his hands up. “My bad. Jesus. I didn’t realise bread killed your grandma.” He goes over to clean up the mess before someone walks by. He sets it all on the counter, standing up straight again. “What do you eat, then? Human carcasses?”
Sunghoon slams the fridge door and presses his palms into his eyes. “Someone ate my food.”
Uh oh.
Jay tries to play it off with a laugh, even though he knows that this means war. He’s only ever seen Sunghoon angry once, and that was last year when Jake accidentally spoiled the ending of ‘My Little Pony: Equestria Girls’ to him when they were all at a work dinner.
Blood was shed that night.
So now, Jay observes Sunghoon pacing the room like a wild beast.
“Just run down to the food truck outside and grab a burger, or something,” Jay placates, patting him on the shoulder. “Everyone loves a good burger, don’t they? Who doesn’t love processed meat and buns? I know I love my meat processed in some buns, If you know what I mean?” He winks.
The glare that Sunghoon gives him has Jay rethinking his life.
“It was me,” someone calls out from the kitchen entrance, causing them both to turn around. “I ate your food.”
Niki.
Jay steps to the side as Niki walks in, arms crossed as he looks down at Sunghoon. “And it was delicious.”
That seems to be the final nail in the coffin. Sunghoon’s hands curl into fists, shaking at his sides. “Was it worth it? Is your little tummy happy?”
Niki nods, but his face doesn’t change. He pats his stomach. “She is very happy.”
“Why are we happy?” Jake asks as he strolls in, before taking in the unsettling scene. He quickly goes to stand next to Jay to the side, out of harm's way. “I guess we aren’t happy,” he whispers to him.
“Niki ate Sunghoon’s food.”
“Oh, shit.”
The two of them are currently having a staring competition in the middle of the kitchen, neither of them saying anything. Some other employees have sensed the tension and gathered outside the kitchen, staring in, but no one speaks.
“That was my food,” Sunghoon says quietly, anger simmering in his tone. “I am going to reach down your esophagus and rip out of your stomach, and then you will watch as I eat it like a baby bird eating the worms out of its mother's mouth.”
There are some gasps from the growing audience, because Sunghoon is never usually so violent.
Unless he’s hungry. Which he clearly is, right now, so Jay takes everything he says with a pinch of salt.
But Niki seems unphased. He steps closer, sizing him up. “You utter fool. I’ve been ingesting small amounts of poison everyday to prepare for this exact scenario. My stomach acid will burn your hands so violently that you’ll have nothing but bloody stumps for fingers.”
There are less gasps this time, because everyone is used to Niki talking like that. There’s no surprise there.
Sunghoon starts growling and huffing like a bull, dragging his foot against the floor like he’s about to charge. “Then the last thing these bloody stumps will do is wrap around your throat.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jay sees Jungwon come into the kitchen to see what’s going on. He spots Jay and Jake standing to the side and walks over quickly, leaning in. “Hey,” he whispers.
Jay looks over at him, getting a whiff of his hair. He smells like baby powder, as usual. “Hi.”
Jungwon looks between him and Jake, then at the scene in front of them. “What’s happened?”
So Jay explains quietly as Niki and Sunghoon continue to have their stand-off. He keeps his voice low so they can’t be heard, because none of them want to have the attention shifted to them.
Jungwon giggles quietly, eyes turning into crescents as he covers his hand with his mouth. “They’re so stupid.”
Jay’s gaze lingers on him for a few seconds longer than it should, before he turns back to Niki and Sunghoon. “Yeah.”
However, when he looks back at them, he sees the moment that they both lunge for each other. People start cheering, and Jake starts up a chant of ‘fight’ as fists are swung.
Even though they’re fighting each other, not a single punch or kick is landing as they’re both so highly trained in defence. The fight just looks stupid, like they’re both dancing around each other doing some pensioner waltz.
That is until Niki grabs the fire extinguisher out of the holder and starts spinning with it like a tornado before releasing it towards Sunghoon.
However, Sunghoon moves out of the way just in time.
Jay acts in a split second when he sees it flying towards Jungwon.
He grabs him and flips them around, shielding him with his body. The extinguisher collides with Jay’s shoulder instead, and pain bursts through him.
Jungwon looks up at him in shock, holding onto his forearms.
“That is enough,” Heeseung booms from the doorway, breaking them up. He looks scarily stern as he surveys the room, and all the other staff that had gathered quickly scatter.
It just leaves the five of them.
Heeseung glares daggers at Sunghoon and Niki. “You two, my office,” he demands, waiting for them both to drag their feet out of the room. “And Jay, go get that checked out. Dismissed.”
With that, he leaves.
Jay only then realises he’s still holding Jungwon. He turns back to him and clears his throat, letting go of his arms before trying to run a hand through his hair, but the pain in his shoulder makes it impossible.
Jungwon looks concerned. He chews on his bottom lip, large eyes full of worry. “Is it bad?”
Jay shakes his head, which is lying but he’s not about to tell Jungwon that he’s in excruciating pain. He doesn’t even know why he did that. He should’ve just let Jungwon take the hit, which probably would’ve slowed him down from working on his next felony case.
Ugh. Jay feels so stupid.
“I’ve never seen them fight like that,” Jake cuts in, scratching the back of his head. “Damn, it was crazy. Such good lunch time entertainment. I hope they do it again.”
Jay glances at him. “How is it that I’m the only one injured after their fight?”
Jungwon steps away from him, brushing himself off. “I think you just have terrible luck.”
“Yeah, dude. You can’t catch a break,” Jake sighs. He looks around the now-empty kitchen. “Hey, did the case at least go well? Any leads?”
Jay winces as he tries to move his shoulder. “Got a guy coming down to the interrogation room in a little bit, hopefully. I think I’ve got it solved already.”
Jake slaps him on the shoulder, which causes pain to burst behind Jay’s eyes. He groans, clutching onto his shoulder as Jake starts apologising. “Shit, shit. I’m sorry. I forgot…”
Jungwon hesitates, fingers twitching at his sides as if he wants to reach out. He doesn’t. “Is it bruised, or have you broken something?”
They watch as Jay lifts up his sleeve, revealing a nasty-looking bruise forming. Jay prods at it, then hisses in pain. However, he doesn’t think anything’s broken. “Bruised.”
“Put some ice on it and rest,” Jungwon tells him, seemingly relieved. “You don’t wanna irritate it any more.”
Jay narrows his eyes at him. “You just want me to take the day off so I don’t solve this case and even our scores.”
Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, totally. Because I’m so evil and all I care about is beating you.”
“Nah, he has a point, Jay,” Jake butts in, wagging his finger at him. “You should take it easy today. Someone else can interrogate the guy coming in later. I’ll do it.”
And as much as Jay would love to take the day off and lie in bed, staring up at his shitty apartment ceiling for twenty-four hours, he thinks he’ll pass on that. Plus, he would hate to come back the next day to discover that Jungwon has brought someone else in.
He can’t afford to take any days off.
“I’m good. Don’t worry about me,” Jay says, patting Jake on the back with his good arm before moving past Jungwon. “I’ll see you two losers around.”
Jungwon stares at the back of his head. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“When have I ever been known to do anything stupid?”
He doesn’t get an answer to that.
Walking out of the kitchen, Jay goes towards his desk. On the way over he sees Heeseung shouting at Sunghoon and Niki through the gaps in the office blinds, but he can’t hear what any of them are saying as the door is closed.
Jay goes back to his desk to check if his email has been answered. However, after a few minutes, the office door opens and two people approach him.
Sunghoon and Niki come and stand beside his desk. “We are deeply sorry for the pain and sorrow we have caused you,” they say in unison, voices monotone. “And we will never do this again.”
Heeseung watches them from his office doorway, nodding in approval. They continue.
“My name is Sunghoon and I’m sorry for… punching bread, and launching fire extinguishers,” he apologises, looking up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t intentional.”
Before Jay gets the chance to open his mouth and tell him that it’s okay, and that he already knows his name so he doesn’t have to reintroduce himself, Niki speaks.
“And I’m Niki, and I’m sorry for…” He trails off, glancing back in Heeseung’s direction, who just makes a strange hand movement and urges him to continue. “For talking about bloody finger stumps, and for inadvertently injuring you with said fire extinguisher. Next time I’ll grab something soft to throw, like a feather, or Sunoo’s sequin pillow.”
Sunoo looks over at the mention of his name, his interests piqued.
“So forgive us,” they both finish together, bowing their heads. “Just like mother nature forgives the sins of humanity.”
Jay looks at them in concern with his mouth slightly agape, not knowing what to say. He sees Heeseung retreat back into his office, shutting the door behind him.
He coughs. “Um… it’s okay. He’s gone. You can be normal now.”
The two of them exhale in relief, shoulders slumping. Sunghoon presses a hand to his forehead. “He really had at us, you know?” he says breathlessly. “He made us repeat that entire thing about five times. I felt like I was in Bible school again.”
Niki shoves his hands into his pockets and sits on Jay’s desk. “I have an amazing memory. My hippocampus is huge.”
Jay nods. “Mhm. Right.”
“What have we here?” Sunoo asks, clasping his hands together as he walks towards them. Jay groans and switches on his computer. “A little birdy told me that we have a work place injury.”
Sunghoon smiles like an idiot. “It was me. I did the injury.”
Sunoo ignores him. He walks up to Jay and places a tub of that ointment he was talking about earlier onto his desk, sliding it over. “My grandmother was injured in the workplace, too. Jay, you need to act on this.”
Jay throws his hands up in frustration. “What the hell was wrong with your grandmother?” he exclaims. “Was she Harry fucking Houdini? Why’d she get injured so much?”
Niki laughs. “Is he trying to sell you that shit, too?”
“It’s not shit,” Sunoo scowls.
“Looks like shit and smells like shit.”
“Well, this shit can cure all sorts of problems, like injured shoulder.” Sunoo unscrews the cap, and they all gag when the stench hits the air. Jay plugs his nose and Sunghoon covers his mouth.
Sunoo, admittedly, gags too.
He quickly puts the lid back on. “You’re all idiots not worthy of this. I don’t have time for you.” He jabs a finger in all their directions. “I’ll find someone to buy this, and then I’ll get an even better brand deal. Don’t underestimate me.”
He walks off again after that.
Jay sighs. “Aside from whatever that was, I take it that you two have made up?”
Sunghoon nods and throws an arm over Niki’s shoulders. Niki tenses up but he doesn’t brush him off. “We’re as right as rain.”
“No one says that unless they’re ninety years old,” Niki huffs, elbowing him. “I apologised for eating his stuff, and he apologised for threatening to rip my stomach out.”
“And he promised to buy me food now,” Sunghoon adds, grinning. His bad mood is completely gone, and Jay hopes it stays gone. It won’t be hard, as long as he’s fed.
Jay logs onto his computer as he listens, nodding along. “It was pretty funny.”
“Is your shoulder actually okay?”
Jay gives it another test. It’s still tender and a little stiff, but he shrugs. Not a good idea, either, because shrugging hurts. “I’ll ice it,” he says, then clicks on a new email. It’s from the shipping company, responding to him to say that they’ll send the right guy down to the precinct in an hour’s time. Jay clenches his fist in victory. “Hey— Tell Jungwon that there’ll be another tally under my name by tomorrow.”
Niki scrutinises his face. “Your arm is one second from falling off and all you care about is your stupid competition with Jungwon.”
“My arm is not about to fall off.”
“It literally is,” Niki insists, and Sunghoon raises his eyebrows in agreement. “Because you decided to jump in front of him.”
Sunghoon doesn’t say anything, mainly because he’s a man of few words anyway, but his face is judgmental as he keeps nodding along.
Jay scoffs. “It was my detectivlely instincts.”
“That isn’t a word.”
“My detective-like instincts, then. Gosh. I didn’t know I was in the presence of the grammar police.” Jay types away on his computer, trying his best to ignore the two of them. He sends off a confirmation email, then spins in his chair to face them. “If you won’t tell him, I will.”
Jay stalks off to try and find Jungwon, moving past Niki and Sunghoon.
Jungwon isn’t by his desk or in the kitchen.
Jay suddenly remembers that he didn’t actually grab any lunch because he had gotten so distracted by the fight that broke out, yet he’s not hungry anymore as he’s in too much pain.
He walks over to the freezer and gets out a bag of frozen peas, then grabs duct tape out of the kitchen drawer to tape the bag to his shoulder. Once it’s secure, he heads towards Heeseung’s office and enters.
“Yellow,” Jay greets.
Heeseung stares at him. “Yellow?”
“Yeah. Like, hello, but with a little twang to it,” he explains, before tapering off uselessly. “Anyway, have you seen Jungwon?”
Heeseung leans back in his chair, nodding. “He’s still on his lunch break. I believe he isn’t in the building anymore, but I could relay a message for when he gets back?”
Jay hesitates. He doesn’t think he can exactly say ‘tell Jungwon I’m about to kick his ass' to his boss, so he just shakes his head. “I’ll just tell him whenever I see him. No worries. Have a jolly day, sir.”
“I’m not having a very jolly day,” Heeseung states before Jay gets to leave. “My superior is hounding me about crime rate statistics, the photocopying machine is broken, and I walk into the kitchen to see two of my greatest detectives trying to kill each other in cold blood.”
Jay scuffs his shoe against the carpet. “I would hardly say that those two are two of your greatest detectives.”
Heeseung doesn’t look amused.
“Right.” Jay scratches the back of his neck with an awkward laugh. “Well… if it makes you feel any better, an old man thinks my name is Detective Ballsack.”
That, unsurprisingly, doesn’t make Heeseung’s day any better. In fact, he looks worse. “You are an officer of the law. Not a scrotum.”
“You’re right, sir. I forgot.”
“Dismissed.”
Jay leaves quietly, his head hung low.
ᓚᘏᗢ
The interrogation room is dim.
The shipping company had sent the guy who was in charge of the jewellery shipment on the morning of the robbery. He now sits opposite Jay on the table, hands in his lap.
“You seriously think I robbed that shithole?” the guys asks after a few minutes of silence. “If I was gonna rob the place, I would’ve just never shown up with the shipment.”
Jay steeples his fingers, leaning forwards with his legs spread in what he thinks is an intimidating way. “Your company would have known if you didn’t show up. You had to.” Jay tilts his head slightly. “And so you dropped off the shipment and waited until that evening before coming back.”
The guy makes a face. “I seriously had better things to do that night.”
“Give me an alibi and I’ll check it,” Jay tells him boredly. “But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Who else other than the family themselves knew that they had a new shipment? You.”
There’s a heavy sigh. The overhead light flickers a little. “I was at home with my wife that evening.”
Jay doesn’t believe him for a second. “You’re lying. You don’t have a wife.”
The guy grabs his phone from his pocket and shows him the lock screen. Jay stares down at what is a photo of a woman.
Jay refuses to back down. “You probably just Googled ‘woman’ and used the first picture you found.”
“That’s literally my wife. We have three children.”
“No way you pulled a woman that beautiful,” Jay exasperates, because— no offense— the guy isn’t all that. “Are you rich?”
There’s a buzzing sound, and Jake’s voice rings out from behind the blacked-out mirror. Jay forgot he was there. “Ask him if his head game is crazy.”
“I’m not asking that.”
The guy shrugs with a smirk. “It is kinda crazy.”
“First of all, gross,” Jay huffs, pushing out his chair so he can stand up. He paces the room. “Second of all, even if she is your wife, can you prove that you were home all evening?”
He gets an easy nod in response.
Well there goes that lead.
Jake’s voice buzzes through the speaker again. “Ask him for dating tips.”
Jay turns around to the mirror. Even though he can’t see Jake, he just scowls in whatever general direction he thinks he is in. “I don’t need dating tips.”
“I think you do, buddy,” the man says, grabbing Jay’s attention again. He meets his eyes in the mirror. “You single?”
“Why does everyone sound like my mom?”
“I’m just asking. You seem like you’re single. You have that kind of internal frustration,” he comments, propping his elbows on the table as he analyses Jay. “Like you have all these feelings under the surface, threatening to break through. But you don’t understand what you’re feeling so you act strangely to compensate.”
Jay stares at him in shock.
Jake speaks again. “Damn, he really got you good. We should hire him.”
“I don’t have any feelings,” Jay tells them both firmly. He taps his foot against the floor. “And I don’t act strangely.”
The guy hums under his breath. “Is there a special lady in your life?”
“He doesn’t talk to anyone,” Jake tells the guy, keeping the intercom button pressed. The mirror suddenly flicks to become see-through, revealing him standing on the other side of the glass. “All he does is work and have this fake rivalry with one of our coworkers.”
Jay flips him off.
“He can’t handle the truth,” the guy observes, nodding slowly. “Classic repression.”
That’s the last straw. Jay walks over to the table and slams his palm down onto the surface. “What are you, a delivery driver or a therapist? You’re free to go. I’ll have your alibi checked. Go on.” He practically grabs him and ushers him out of the door. “Hopefully we won’t have to meet again.”
“Back at you,” he grumbles before walking off.
Once the man has left, Jay stands in the corridor. Jake comes out of the other room and stands next to him, eyeing the bag of peas still taped to his shoulder. They’ve melted now, creating a giant wet patch on his shirt sleeve, dripping down his arm.
“How’s it feeling?”
Jay shrugs, finding that the pain is numbed. “Slightly better. Well, better enough for me to keep going on this case,” he mumbles, ripping the bag off his arm so he can dump it in Jake’s hands. “See you later, buddy.”
Jake holds it uselessly. “Have fun…”
Jay storms off in the direction of his desk. He sits down, tucking his chair in as he runs both hands through his hair.
Okay, so that lane wasn’t the right one to go down. The only problem with a case this small and a business with literally no proper employees is that there aren’t many roads to go down, anyway. Plus, it’s too late for Jay to go and talk to the owners of the store today as the sun is starting to set.
He feels frustrated.
Yet, it’s not like he has anything better to do by going home. He’ll work overtime and crack this case, because he desperately needs to even his score with Jungwon.
Jay feels around in his pocket until he finds the USB with the footage from the robbery on it. Plugging it into his laptop, he decides to watch it again for anything he missed earlier, because it’s all he can really do right now.
He’s in for a long night.
ᓚᘏᗢ
He ends up taking a break about an hour later to go to the bathroom.
The sky is dark outside, and mostly everyone else has left. Heeseung is still in his office, but the other detectives have already headed home for the night.
Jay yawns as he stretches his legs, massaging his shoulder.
He bumps into someone in the corridor. He automatically reaches out to steady the person, before looking at their face.
“Jungwon?”
“Oh, hey,” Jungwon greets, albeit sheepishly. “What are you still doing here?”
Jay could ask the same thing back just to be annoying, but he’s too tired to start something petty. “I’m working that case. The, uh… the suspect fell through. It’s not him.”
He nods sympathetically. “Must suck, not being as good as me.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Jungwon makes a face, before seeming to remember something. “Oh, Heeseung told me that you were looking for me earlier. What’s up?”
Ah, right. Jay forgot about that. He guesses that it’s too late and embarrassing now, considering the fact that the lead he had and was certain about turned out to not be involved at all. So he shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I was just being stupid.”
“What a shocker,” Jungwon teases, knocking their shoulders together. Jay notices how he does it to his good shoulder, careful of his injury.
However, as Jungwon had moved a little closer, Jay got an inhale of his scent. He covers his nose immediately and moves away.
“Why do you smell bad?” he asks, appalled. Jungwon never smells bad. It twists something weird in his gut. “What even is that? You smell like a farm.”
Jungwon rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment, which causes Jay to feel a little guilty for hurting his feelings like that.
“No, it’s…” Jay starts, trying to make him feel better. “It’s… lovely. Is it a new perfume?”
Exhaling, Jungwon grabs him and tugs him towards the bathroom. Jay stumbles after him in confusion as the door shuts behind them.
“Don’t laugh.”
Jay won’t make any promises, but he nods anyway. “I’ll try.”
He takes a breath and then starts speaking. “So… my stomach was hurting earlier, and Sunoo heard me complain, and then—” Jungwon subconsciously holds his stomach as he explains. “He started saying something about his dead grandma, and he was crying, or at least I think he was, so I kinda just gave in.”
Jay blinks. “Gave in and what?”
“And let him smear some strange thing on my stomach. And I had to buy it off him.”
He can’t help it. Jay bursts out into laughter, even though he promised he wouldn’t. It’s just so funny.
Sunoo was right about finding someone who’d buy that monstrosity off him. Of course someone like Jungwon was the easy target, because Jungwon is soft-hearted and can’t say no. And Sunoo clearly knows that.
Jay wipes imaginary tears from his eyes as Jungwon looks at him in disappointment.
“It’s not funny!” Jungwon stamps his foot against the bathroom floor angrily like a rabbit, glaring at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s so itchy. My poor stomach… I think I’m having an allergic reaction to it.”
Jay catches his breath. “Where does he even find these brands to sponsor him?”
“You’re not helping, Jay.”
“Okay, okay— Come on. Let me see.”
Jungwon looks taken aback. “What? My stomach?”
Jay nods. “You said it’s itching. Let me see if you need to go to the hospital,” he placates, gesturing to his shirt. “Or if we need to call poison control.”
Grumbling under his breath, Jungwon goes over to the sinks. He lifts up his shirt and lets him have a look.
The first thing that Jay notices is how smooth his skin is. The second thing he notices is the size of his waist and how easy it would be to wrap his hands around it.
What?
Jay drags his eyes firmly to the middle of his stomach where the ointment had been applied. He sees it— the redness, and the slight shine it has to it.
He swallows thickly. “Okay, yeah. I mean, on the bright side I don’t think we need to call poison control,” he states lightheartedly, then turns on the tap. “But definitely don’t trust Sunoo with any of his strange products again. Who knows what it could be next time? Literal poison.”
Jungwon sighs in relief. “I don’t even wanna think about what’s in this one. Just help me get it off, please.”
Jay grabs a bunch of paper towels and wets them under the tap as Jungwon keeps his shirt up. He hesitates before pressing them to his skin.
He watches the way his stomach flutters under the touch, probably because the water is cold.
“What are you going to do about the case?” Jungwon asks after a few moments.
Jay focuses on wiping him clean as he responds. “I’m gonna have to interview the family tomorrow. It’s too late to do it today.” He grabs another paper towel and uses it to dry his skin. “Plus, I’ve been reviewing the CCTV footage.”
Jungwon watches his movements. “Found anything?”
“I think I’m too tired. My brain isn’t working,” he sighs, finishing up. He brushes his knuckles against Jungwon’s stomach, over the red skin. He thinks it should go down by tomorrow. “Maybe I should just go home.”
Putting his shirt back down, Jungwon presses his lips together in a line. He looks off to the corner of the room, then back at Jay. “Why don’t I have a look? Not to help you, or anything. Just because I’m curious."
Even though Jay would hate to get any help from Jungwon of all people, he doesn’t think he’ll spot anything on the footage, anyway. So he agrees.
As they walk out of the bathroom and back to the desk, their arms brush together. “Thanks for helping,” Jungwon murmurs.
Jay simply nods.
When they sit down and Jay presses play on the footage, Jungwon pulls up a chair. They fall into an easy silence as they both watch it from beginning to end.
The video is pretty simple. The old man is asleep on the counter, drooling, when the door opens violently. In comes a masked man with a gun who points it at the guy before realising that he’s out cold, slipping the gun back into his pocket before going behind the counter.
The thief reaches into a drawer and gets out a small key to unlock the cabinets, then slides all the new jewellery into a bag. After slinging it over his shoulder, he leaves.
It’s as simple as that.
Jungwon crosses one leg over the other. He looks over at Jay. “Not that I want to help you, but… isn’t it weird that the thief just knew where the key to the display cases was?”
Bingo.
Jay stares at the screen. Why did he not pick up on that? It’s such a basic clue, yet he completely missed it. He must really be exhausted.
He turns to Jungwon and grabs him by his shoulders, shaking him. “You’re a genius” he says, then regrets it. He lets go of him. “You’re… of slightly above average intelligence.”
Jungwon flicks him on his good arm. “Rude.”
“Okay,” Jay continues, pointing to the screen. “So this is an inside job, then. Whoever the thief is clearly is familiar with the store layout, and the fact that they got a new shipment of jewellery. I was just barking up the wrong tree with the delivery driver.”
“You seem to bark up the wrong tree a lot.”
“Shut up,” Jay retorts. “You’re lucky I’m feeling nice now that you helped me.”
Jungwon smirks. “I’m the lucky one? I literally just saved you from so much more work. You’re lucky.”
Yeah, maybe he’s right. But Jay isn’t about to say that. “I saved you from death by cleaning that sludge off you.”
“I could’ve cleaned myself, but you couldn’t have solved the case yourself. That’s the difference.”
“Wrong.”
“Right.”
“Wrong,” Jay insists. “I would’ve gotten it eventually. I’m just tired. And— actually, I saved you from being hit in the head by a fire extinguisher today. Have you forgotten that?”
Jungwon puffs out his cheeks and glances away. “I could’ve dodged it.”
“Maybe.”
There’s a brief silence. Jay suddenly feels awkward, so he fiddles with his keyboard. He clears his throat. “Anyway, I’m going to go undercover.”
The conversation shifts again, which Jungwon seems grateful for too. “Why are you going to go undercover?”
“The lady told me that her father with narcolepsy is going to be in charge of the store for two days. I’m thinking that if me and someone else go in disguised as shoppers, we can see who else is in and out of there. Since it’s an inside job.” Jay reaches forward to turn off his computer, then puts the USB away into his drawer. “I can’t take you, so I’ll take Jake.”
Jungwon laughs. “You two always do the strangest disguises.”
“The stranger the disguise, the easier the case.”
“I don’t think that’s a saying.”
Jay stands up and tucks his chair in before slipping his jacket back on. It’s a little hard to do so with his stiff shoulder, but he does manage eventually. Jungwon stands up too.
“I guess I’ll catch you tomorrow,” Jay tells him, leaning against the desk. “I hope you dream of me beating you.”
Jungwon doesn’t look bothered. “The end of the year is still a few months away. Even if you do even our scores, things will just change again when I bring in the next felon.”
He says it so matter-of-factly, like he just knows how to get under Jay’s skin. It works. “We’ll see.”
The two of them walk to the elevators and get in together, and Jay presses the ground floor button. The doors shut, and it starts descending.
Once they step out into the car park and are about to part ways, Jungwon turns to him. “I’m only saying this because I don’t like feeling indebted,” he starts, eyes flicking around the floor to avoid looking at Jay. “But thank you.”
It catches Jay off-guard. “For what?”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“I think you should.”
A beat. Then: “Thank you for saving me from getting hit. And for checking my stomach,” he mumbles. “But this doesn’t mean I’m going to let you win. I’ll solve another felony before you even get to do your undercover mission.”
He just looks so determined as he stands there. It’s almost endearing, the way that his eyes sparkle in the overhead lights, and the way that there’s a small crease between his eyebrows.
Jay accepts the challenge. “May the best man win.”
He holds out his hand, and Jungwon shakes it.
ᓚᘏᗢ
On Saturday, Jake agrees to come with him undercover to the jewellery store.
“Does this disguise make my dick look huge, or am I projecting?” Jay asks, sticking out his hips and thrusting them in the air.
Jake glances down, then makes a face. “It’s a little too much, dude. Like you’re Godzilla.”
“Does Godzilla have a huge cock?”
“I should hope so.”
Jay looks at him weirdly. “Why are you hoping that he has a huge cock? That’s a weird thing to hope for.”
Jake waves him off. “No, I mean because he’s so huge himself. It would be fucking weird if his dick was this big.” He measures an inch with his forefinger and thumb. “Not good proportions.”
Jay adjusts his crotch area so that his bulge isn’t so prominent. “He wouldn’t be able to please Lady Godzilla. You’re right.”
They both picked up disguises from a party store downtown because it was the cheapest option. Jay is currently dressed as a French pastry chef, and Jake is a builder.
“I think we went a bit overboard.”
Jay makes an unconvinced noise as they start walking towards the store.
The bell above the door dings as they walk in, and Jay subtly looks around the room. At the counter is the old man, sitting on a stool and staring ahead at the wall, however there’s another man who comes out of the back office.
Jay subtly looks at Jake.
Their cover is that Jay is engagement ring shopping, and Jake is tagging along. He clears his throat as he gets to the counter, straightening his posture whilst putting on his best smile.
“Hello, my name is Yang Jungwon and I’m getting married,” Jay greets cheerfully, eyeing down the other man.
Jake raises his finger. “And my name is Park Jongseong and—”
Jay elbows him in the ribs. “Dude!” he hisses, glaring at him before turning back to the two behind the counter. “Sorry about him. A brick fell on his head this morning, so he’s forgotten his name. He’s also Yang Jungwon. We both are.”
The old man’s face lights up in recognition after staring at Jay for several seconds. “Ah, Ballsack! Meet my grandson.” He slaps the other guy on the back. “He helps me out around here.”
Jay watches as the grandson shifts, eyes darting around. As if he could be any more suspicious. Internally, Jay jumps for joy. “Okay, grandson— Oh, sorry, what’s your name?” he says smoothly.
The grandson itches the side of his head. “Just look around and find what you want.”
Jake cuts in. “Okay, mister. We’ll be right over here,” he says cheerfully, pulling Jay away to the other side of the store. Once they’re out of ear-shot, his smile drops and he whispers. “I have so many questions. Why did that old dude call you Ballsack?”
Jay pretends to look at some rings as he answers. “He recognises me from when I came to interview his daughter, but it’s not even a big deal. I think he has dementia.” He stares down at a pair of diamond earrings, seeing how they sparkle under the lights. “Oh, hey. Look at those. Don’t they look a little like Jungwon’s eyes?”
Jake follows his finger to the earrings, before glancing back up at him. “Focus, Jay. Do you even think that guy is his grandson? He looks like he’s forty-five. Not grandson age.”
Finally dragging his gaze up, Jay looks back at the counter to see him watching them. He ducks his head again. “He’s looking at us. Say something casual.”
Jake coughs, then adjusts his hard-hat. “Oh, I don’t know, Jungwon,” he says exaggeratedly, winking at Jay. “This ring here is a little too plain, don’t you think?”
Jay gets into character himself. “Ah, yes, you’re right. Too plain. How silly of me. I’m Jungwon and I have a stick up my ass, so I only want huge diamonds.”
“That was a good one,” Jake whispers enthusiastically, giving him a subtle thumbs up. “Anyways, what should we do? I don’t think this is grounds to arrest him or bring him in. I think we should just ask the owners if they know who this random dude is, and if he’s actually their son or not.”
Jay contemplates it for a few seconds, then nods. “Okay, good plan.”
The two of them go back to the counter as casually as they can. Jay swings his arms by his sides, walking in whatever way he thinks a French pastry chef would walk. Not that he’s ever met one.
He leans against the counter and twirls his fake mustache. “Well, no rings tickled my fancy, but we’ll be back.”
The ‘grandson’ looks unbothered, just giving them a nod, but the old man raises his eyebrows. “Wait a minute, I remember your face now!”
Jay’s heart drops. “No you don’t.”
“I do!” he exclaims happily, giving a gummy smile as his dentures fall out onto the counter. “Detective Ballsack, you were talking to my daughter the other day.” He looks proud of himself for remembering, but then his features twist in confusion. “So why did you say your name was Jang Yungwon?”
“It’s actually Yang Jungwon,” Jake corrects.
Before Jay even gets the chance to defend himself, the grandson whips out a pistol and points it at the two of them. They both put their hands up in defence, backing away slightly.
“Get on the floor before I shoot.”
Jay makes a noise. “I don’t wanna get on the floor. These are new pants.”
A deafening gunshot rings out as he fires into the ceiling. Jay moves quickly as the guy’s arm is raised, and he grabs his wrist, twisting it until he drops the gun. Even though his shoulder throbs from the movement, Jay manages to haul the man over the counter and slam him down onto it.
The glass shatters, sending them both sprawling to the floor. Jay pulls the man off and gets cuffs out of his back pocket before securing his wrist behind his back.
“It wasn’t me!”
“What wasn’t you?” Jay asks, rolling his eyes. “The fact that you know what this is about shows that it was you.”
The guy groans and tries to fight back against the handcuffs, but they don’t budge.
“Stop struggling, you’re under arrest,” Jay chastises, catching his breath as he rises back up, reading him his rights. “You really shouldn’t take advantage of old people like that. Or at least don’t stick around after you’ve robbed the place.”
Jake stands to the side, checking on the old man who has somehow fallen asleep in the midst of all this. Jay walks over and snaps his fingers in front of his face, but he doesn’t wake up.
“Call the cops to deal with this,” Jay tells Jake, stepping back over the broken glass. “I’ll take this dude back to the precinct. Good work.”
Jake goes to radio in for enforcement as Jay gets the guy to his feet, taking him back out to the car. He opens the door and helps him get in before going around to the front himself, starting the engine.
He can’t help but have a smile on his face. He glances at the guy in the rearview mirror. “Man, I know you’re a criminal and everything, but I’m so happy you did that robbery,” he says gleefully. “Not because I approve of crime, or anything.”
He scowls at him. “I’m not talking to you. I want a lawyer.”
“I can’t wait to go and put that tally on the board,” Jay sighs wistfully, ignoring him as he drives. “To see the look on Jungwon’s face when I walk in with you.”
He glances down at himself for a moment, realising that he’s still in his awful disguise. He turns around to the backseat when they stop at a red-light.
“Do I look strange?”
The guy shrugs easily. “Yeah.”
“Do you think I should go and get dressed into better clothes before I take you in?”
“Why would you do that?”
Jay sighs. The idiot doesn’t get it. This is a monumental occasion, and so he has to look his best.
“Come on, I’m stopping at my apartment for a minute, okay? Don’t pull anything funny or I’ll feel betrayed.” He turns the car around and drives towards his place. “You can help me pick something out.”
With no other choice, the guy agrees.
ᓚᘏᗢ
About an hour later, Jay steps out of the elevator in his best suit, the thief trailing behind him as they walk into the precinct.
Jake had already returned as so long has passed, and he stands up and starts clapping and cheering when he sees Jay. The noise causes the others to look over in confusion.
Jay hands the guy over to an officer before walking towards the desks, holding his arms out and bowing in celebration.
“The Jongster strikes again,” Jake calls, cupping his hands over his mouth to project his voice. Some of the others join in with the cheers, and Jay smiles and pretends to be embarrassed from the attention.
He’s eating it up inside.
Finally, his eyes land on Jungwon.
“Well well,” Jay sighs, coming to stand next to Jungwon’s desk. He ruffles Jungwon’s hair, messing it up. “I guess we’re even Stevens now.”
Jungwon swats his hand away. “For now.”
“Yeah, you’re right. For now,” Jay goes on, straightening his back. His shoulder is still throbbing a little from earlier, but he ignores it. “Until I one-up you again.”
Jungwon’s eyes flick down to his body, then back up. “You changed clothes.”
“I did.” There’s still a hint of showmanship in his tone, so Jay runs with it. “I had to look my best for this monumental occasion.”
That gets a smile out of Jungwon. “It’s nice to know that you think so highly of me.”
Curse him and his ability to twist Jay’s words. “That’s not what I said.”
“It was implied,” Jungwon teases. He rests his arms on his desk, leaning forwards slightly. “It’s okay. I’ll make sure I look my best on the day that I take your car.”
Jay’s head feels a little hot as he looks down at him, seeing how smug he looks. He searches his brain for something to say, but people are watching and there’s too much pressure on him to come up with a good enough clapback. So he just says the first thing that comes to mind.
“Well that won’t be hard,” he blurts out. “Because you always look your best.”
Oh, wow.
Jay grimaces. He meant for that to come out as an insult.
Niki, who has been watching the entire thing, laughs and pats him on the shoulder. Jay is too embarrassed to even wince in pain. “I don’t think you won that argument.”
Jay avoids everyone’s amused gazes as he watches Jungwon’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink.
“I meant because… you always look the same,” Jay explains, trying to salvage the situation. “So you can’t ever look your best if you… What I was trying to say is that—
Heeseung comes out of his office at that moment to disperse the crowd. “Everyone, go back to your desks. Jay, a word?”
Jay lets out a sigh of relief. He gives one last glare in Jungwon’s direction and gets one in return, then he walks off after Heeseung.
When the door is shut and they’re both in the office, Heeseung sits down in his chair. “Good work today.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Heeseung says, gesturing for him to sit. He does. “I know you have a back-log of many cases at the moment, and after the other day I reflected and realised that it was unfair of me to give so many to you just because you have no life outside of work.”
He doesn’t take offence. “I can handle it.”
Heeseung taps his fingers against a snowglobe on his desk. “Hopefully we’ll hire more detectives to replace the two that we lost, and the balance will become more fair again,” he says. “Until then, let me or anyone else know if you need any assistance.”
Jay grins. “Just say we’re best bros at this point.”
“We are not ‘best bros’,” Heeseung states.
Tough crowd. “Cheerful chums, then?” he asks, but Heeseung doesn’t respond. Jay sighs. “Playful pals? Amazing amigos? Bloody brilliant brotherly bickering beautiful bouncing buddies?”
“You are dismissed.”
“Okay, sure. We are dashingly dismissed dears.” Jay stands up, brushing himself off. “One day I’ll get you to admit that we’re friends.”
Heeseung raises an eyebrow. “I’ve known you for a month, and I’m your captain. We are far from friends.”
“I think I’m your favourite.”
“No,” Heeseung corrects. “Sergeant Park is my favourite.”
“Sunghoon?” Jay’s mouth falls open in shock, and if he were a cartoon character he just knows his eyes would be popping out with little springs attached to them. “That suck up. I’m the better Park.”
“You are the Park who brings in the most problems.”
Jay’s eyebrows raise to his hairline. There’s just no way. “I’m sorry, sir, but Sergeant Park literally had a full on breakdown brawl with Niki in the kitchen the other day. Last time I checked, I fought a felon today and solved a smashing case.” He’s really on a roll with his alliteration. “Do you think I should be the next Shakespeare?”
Heeseung ignores him and picks up his telephone. “If you’d excuse me, Shakespeare, I need to make a call.”
Jay grumbles to himself as he begrudgingly leaves the office.
The work day is winding down a little as he walks over to the briefing room, going to the whiteboard before grabbing the marker. He puts another line under his name and then stands back with a content sigh to look at the scores.
After he’s done with that, he heads to the break room. Sunoo is lying on the couch and Jungwon is sitting at the table on his phone.
They both look at him when he enters.
“Hey,” Jay greets, going over to the coffee pot. He grabs it and pours a mug for himself. “What’re you guys doing?”
Jungwon puts his phone down and stretches his arms. “Taking a break from paperwork.”
“I’m meditating,” Sunoo tells him, pressing a finger to his lips. “Both of you become mute or get out.”
Jay gestures with his head to Jungwon, who stands and follows him out of the room. They decide to head out to the rooftop for their break instead, and Jay warms his hands around his mug of coffee.
He looks out at the city, then at Jungwon. “I added my line to the board.”
Jungwon purses his lips. “Good.”
“And I was talking to Heeseung, and you know what he told me?” he asks, waiting for Jungwon to make that curious noise he always does. “He told me that Sunghoon is his favourite. Can you believe that?”
Jungwon folds his arms on the railing and looks down. “I mean, it kinda makes sense as he’s the sergeant. But you’re clearly the better Park.”
“That’s what I said,” he exasperates. “I’m gonna prove him wrong by solving all the cases on my desk. It’ll be killing two birds with one stone, to be honest.”
However, Jungwon doesn’t look as enthusiastic. “Mm, yeah. You’re going to end up working yourself into your grave,” he tells him, turning to face Jay. “And as much as I dislike you, our competition wouldn’t be fun if you died.”
Jay meets his eyes. “It’s almost as if you care about me.”
“Maybe in your dreams.” He grabs Jay’s coffee and takes a long sip.
The worst part is that Jay lets him. “What are you doing tonight?”
Jungwon doesn’t answer immediately. He swallows the coffee, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he gives the mug back. “Nothing. You?”
Jay takes it with a smirk. “How boring.” Taking a sip himself, he lets the warmth run along the inside of his mouth before slipping down his throat. He exhales, his breath hanging in the cold autumn air. “I’ve got a very exciting evening ahead of me, unlike you.”
Somehow, Jungwon doesn’t seem like he believes that. “Does your toilet need a plunge, or something?”
“More exciting than that,” Jay lies. The truth is that he has nothing to do tonight either, but he doesn’t want to reveal that to Jungwon. He can’t let him have anything against him. So he lies. “I’m going to… a friend’s birthday party.”
Jungwon raises his eyebrows. “I didn’t know it was Jake’s birthday.”
“I do have other friends.” Another lie. “Like Niki. And Sunghoon. And Heeseung. Soon.”
Stretching out like a cat, Jungwon speaks through a yawn. “Then you should really go to the doctor, because I think you’ve hallucinated false relationships with them all.” He turns back to the city skyline view, watching as the sky darkens and more window lights turn on. “Why am I not in your list of friends?”
Huh. Jay didn’t realise that he didn’t mention him. “You’re not really my friend.”
“What am I, then?”
“You’re…” Trailing off, Jay looks down into his mug of coffee as if it’ll tell him the answer. “Just Jungwon.”
“Just Jungwon?”
Jay wets his lips, giving a small nod. “Yeah.”
“And I’m just Sunghoon,” Sunghoon greets as he steps outside to join them, smiling widely. “Jungwon, there’s a suspect here for you to question. Heeseung told me to tell you.”
“I’ll be right in.”
Nodding, Sunghoon leaves.
Jay sets his mug down onto the ledge, some of the liquid sloshing over the sides. “Suspect for what?”
Jungwon stuffs his hands into his pockets, his hair blowing in the breeze. “Not a felony case, don’t worry. It’s just a misdemeanor,” he tells him, then turns to walk back towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jay.”
He watches him go. “Yeah, see you.”
Before Jungwon leaves, he stops with his hand on the door and turns his head slightly. “And,” he says, slightly hesitant. “You look stupid in that suit. You should wear it again tomorrow to embarrass yourself.”
Jay scoffs. “Maybe I will.”
When the door falls shut and Jungwon has disappeared back inside the warmth of the office, Jay looks back out at the city and picks his mug up again.
It’s gotten cold, though he finds that he doesn’t really mind.