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for the hope of it all

Summary:

Sophie decides to go to a summer camp for the first time during her last summer vacation in school. She has no idea what she is doing, but she is well welcomed by a group of regular campers.

In the middle of trying new experiences, she finds out new things about her and what she is able to feel.

Chapter 1: camp

Chapter Text

As her mother’s car left by the dirt road, Sophie noticed it was kind of the only car there. Around her, there were only buses and girls walking around with huge backpacks and pillows on their hands. She looked down at her own luggage- a real hard shell suitcase-, she noticed why most people used a backpack instead of this.

Great. Not only did she arrive here the wrong way- she could see the rest of the girls were already bonding from the bus rise-, but she wasn’t using appropriate material. 

She sighed, feeling how the air was, indeed, very clear. She had gone through worse provings. She could do this. It was important. It was her very last chance to do something like this. 

Sophie walked to the table where she could see about a dozen girls gathering, giggling and swaying excitedly on their feet. For her experience, it could only be where there was some information available. And boy did she need some information about how to navigate this.

A young woman with a very dark hair and a very kind smile looked up at her. She was sitting on a camping chair- it was only fitting- behind a foldable table. There were some pamphlets on top of it and a messy bag of keys.

“Hi love!” She waved at Sophie. “I’m Mook, one of the counselors here. Can you tell me your name?” 

“Sophie Benjanee.” She answered quietly. She was happy there was an adult around to refer to. 

“Oh, I see you here.” She checked a list- a real paper list, something Sophie should have seen coming, but still surprised her-, then looked up again with the same sweet smile. “This is your first time with us, right sweetie?” 

Sophie nodded, feeling her cheeks heat up. She knew that didn’t make any sense, it wasn’t forbidden to go to summer camp for the first time at any age, and there surely had to be other first timers but… she felt weird. 

“I really hope you’ll love our time together!” The woman clapped her hands and dug into the bag- Sophie really couldn’t understand how she could find anything in that mess. “This here is the key to your locker, which is located inside the cabin you’ll be staying at. Your cabin in number two-” She pointed to the side, where four big wooden cabins rested. They each had their numbers entailed on the front. “, right there. You can go and choose a bunk bed. The rest of the counselors will gather you girls later, okay?”

That was all the information she got before the woman- Mook- smiled at another girl and continued the same flow of information. 

That left Sophie no option but to try to roll her suitcase up to cabin number two. It was a bit hard, and for the most part she had to actually lift it off the ground and lean a little to the side because it was kind of heavy. But she eventually made it to the first steps and stared at them. If carrying the suitcase on the way here, climbing steps seemed to be-

“Hey! Do you need help with this?” 

She looked up to see a girl with a wide grin, taking over her whole face, pointing at her suitcase. She was wearing a green hoodie and already baggageless. Her hair was a bit messy, just the way you’d expect for someone who was on a few hours bus ride. 

“Nano always brings this kind of suitcase, even if they’re not very practical for camping… The good thing is I have experience carrying them up the stairs!” She nodded, still smiling. Sophie giggled at her. She had no idea who Nano was, but this girl seemed nice. “Oh, I’m Jane by the way!” 

“I’m Sophie.” She said, as polite as she could. “I guess I chose wrong… Would you really help me?” 

Jane nodded again and reached down to the side handle of the suitcase. She managed to lift off the ground, but Sophie noticed she was kind of leaning and pressing her lips really thigh together. So she reached down, helping Jane lift the bag and carry it up to the front porch. 

“Oof… There it is!” She placed her hands on her hips. 

“Thank you, Jane.” Sophie made a point of using her name, she had read it before it was important to make people feel heard. “I guess I made a bad decision already, uh?”

Jane shook her head with a shocked look.

“Oh, no! Come on, it’s just a bag. You’re going great.” She placed her hand on Sophie’s shoulder, but took it off immediately. “Nano brings this every year, and it’s our fifth year in camp…” Once again, she mentioned this other girl. Sophie was starting to feel a bit curious about who Nano is. “Is this your first year?”

“Yes!” She picked the suitcase, successfully rolling it now, and Jane walked along with her.

“Oh, that’s fun! We don’t usually get first timers in the last year.” 

Jane was smiling- which Sophie was starting to think was just her default-, but it still made her feel a bit uneasy. She didn’t want to be the weird girl here. 

“I… I know.” She frowned, keeping eye contact with the bag. “I just noticed I haven’t done many things apart from being with my parents during my vacations… So I thought camp would be fun for my last summer before finishing school.”

“Aw, that’s so cute!” If possible, Jane was grinning even wider, clasping her hands together. 

Sophie felt like she was blushing again, still looking down. It felt weird admitting she was just a weirdo who did whatever her parents wanted from her, instead of living like a normal teenager. And she didn’t even tell Jane that what really convinced her to enroll with camping was how it would look better in her college applications- nobody accepted someone who only studied. She had to do something else. Maybe camping was it. 

“Hey!” 

Another voice, from another girl, called their attention. Sophie should get used to it. From what she was seeing, she was stuck inside this cabin with about nine other girls, spread around in five bunk beds. She had just thrown her stuffed rabbit on one of the bottom ones, thinking it would be safer to stay closer to the ground. Jane was there talking to her, but Sophie had no idea where her things were, and which bed was hers. Maybe it would be better to share a bunk with her. 

“Amy!” Jane jumped in place and then stepped closer to the girl, hugging her immediately. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming this year!” 

The girl was noticeably shorter than Jane, with short dark hair contrasting to her very light skin. She also had a broad smile on her face, but different from Jane’s. It was big, taking over her whole face sideways. She also looked comfortably in place, with a hiking backpack hanging from one arm and a fluffy pillow under the other. 

“I wouldn’t miss the last year with you all!” The girl was as excited as Jane, maybe even more, in a different way. “You know I love it here.” She turned to the bunk bed- the same where Sophie had dropped her stuff- and stood on her tip toes. She wasn’t tall enough to see the top bunk without climbing at least one step. “Is my bed still available?”

She gripped the wood on the side, ignoring the wood steps made for climbing, and hooked herself there. Once she noticed the bed was still empty, she maneuvered her bag around and tossed it there along with the pillow, jumping back on the ground next to them. 

“You’re new.” She finally turned to Sophie, acknowledging her for the first time since she appeared there. Sophie didn’t blame her. She was clearly focused on meeting up with her old friend. 

“This is Sophie!” Jane grinned, placing her hand over Sophie’s shoulder again. “She is…” Jane frowned, her gaze moving from Amy to Sophie. “That’s all I know actually.”

Sophie wasn’t sure how to act in this situation, so she tried to be… informative.

“I’m Sophie.” She smiled at Amy, offering a hand. “I’m seventeen and I came here for a new experience before my last year at school. I want to study literature in college.”

The other girl looked at her hand for a moment, seemingly not sure what to do about it, before she held Sophie’s hand and shook it very excitedly. 

“I’m Amy!” She said, shaking Sophie’s hand still. She didn’t look like she was going to stop anytime soon. “And I’m…” She frowned for a second, her hand slowing down. “I’m Amy!” She repeated, smiling and nodding. 

Sophie just had to giggle at it. She had only met two people until now, and they were really funny and nice. Maybe this crazy idea would work, after all.

“I have come here every summer since I was a kid. And apparently we’re bunk mates now!” She winked at Sophie, a movement that seemed easy and practiced. 

Sophie didn’t know how to act, so she just dropped her hand and nodded. She knew she must be looking awkward, but maybe it would get better during the next weeks. She hoped so. 

A loud alarm sounded, making Sophie jump and look around scared. Jane and Amy just stood where they were, unfazed. 

“It’s the meeting's alarm. It sounds every time we have to gather at the center clairing.” Amy said, winking at Sophie again. Maybe that was something she did out of habit. “Let’s go. Me and Jane can show you around.” 

They walked out- they being everyone inside the cabin. Sophie thought about how she didn’t organize any of her stuff, how she didn’t lock anything inside the locker as the woman from the entrance told her to, how she was still wearing dirty clothes from travelling. But everyone was doing the same, and she was the new one, so she wouldn’t question. Now was time to follow. 

The same woman she had seen before was in the middle, holding a whistle; alongside with another woman, about the same age as her. They looked alike a little, both tall with straight black hair, but they were clearly not related. 

“Morning campers!” Mook said, turning around to smile at everyone. “I’m glad to see we have a full house once again!” 

The girls around the pit howled and whistled, all very excited. Jane and Amy did the same. Sophie stood there, taking it all in. 

“For the ones coming here for the first time, please be welcome to Camp Sunshine.” She waved, even though Sophie was pretty sure she was the only new girl there. “I’d like our new and old campers to also welcome our new counselor, LingLing.”

The other woman- Ling- bowed and smiled at them all while the girls clapped her hands at her. Sophie joined in this time. 

“Nice to meet you all! I hope we can adventure a lot together.” She said, then turned around to Mook again. She seemed shy. 

“I believe you all are already settled in your assigned cabins…” Another round of howls and whistles. “This year, we have themes for the teams!” The howls were turning into screams now, so Mook had to give them a scowl to quiet down. “I’ll tell you everything then I promise you’ll have free time to bond and explore before it all starts, okay?”

There was a group okay and the noise did quiet down. Sophie looked to the side and saw Amy and Jane paying close attention, their hands shaking. This seemed important. 

“Since we are in a world cup year, we are dividing the cabins in continents instead of traditional colors. Cabin number one, will be Africa. The continent.” Mook pointed out, looking sharply at some of the girls. They giggled. Sophie wondered if they didn’t know geography well enough to know Africa was a continent. “Cabin number two…” On that, Jane and Amy started to really shake. Sophie could literally feel their vibration. “You will be America.” 

Amy immediately raised her hand.

“Which America?” She screamed the question, earning a laugh from everyone. 

“The whole continent.” Ling answered, calmly. Sophie liked her. 

Amy just nodded and gripped Jane’s arm. Sophie couldn’t understand what was so exciting about America, but she figured she should be excited too, so she smiled at them. 

“Cabin number three, you will be Europe.”

“Oh, that totally suits Nano.” Jane whispered, and Amy rolled her eyes. Apparently mentioning Nano was a usual routine for Jane. 

Mook was still in the middle, shouting a few informations. Sophie wondered if it really was so important to be acoustic, because it really looked like they could use a microphone or something. 

Sophie was trying to note down everything she could in her mind- she had left everything back in the cabin, including her hand book. 

Everyday they had a main activity, which would be announced after breakfast. 

They had free time almost everyday after dinner- except on special days. 

All meals would be shared on the main dining hall.

Doors locked and lights out at ten. 

No phones during regular activities, just on the ones they could get lost at. Sophie worried a little about that one. 

“Anything else, feel free to contact us.” Ling said, finishing the moment. “Me, Mook and all the other counselors or workers will be staying at cabin four.”

On that, everyone started moving. Sophie obviously moved with them, trying to keep close to Amy and Jane. 

“Wait!” Jane said, turning around and running in the opposite direction. Sophie tried tracking where she was going towards, but it was hard with the sea of girls walking around.

“Is she going after Nano?” 

There was a girl looking completely unimpressed standing right beside Amy. She had her arms crossed, but she seemed to be wearing an oversized band shirt and jorts. She looked pretty, very delicate, which didn’t exactly match her punk attire. She looked cool, though. 

“Definetly.” Amy laughed, resting her forehead on the girl’s shoulder. They seemed intimate. She turned to Sophie, still leaning over the girl. “This is Belle. She is also an old camper.”
“Your ass is old.” Belle shrugged her off, and flashed something that should be something close to a smile. “Hey.”

That was all she said. This girl was indeed cool. 

“Where’s your shadow?” Amy asked, looking around. Sophie noticed she had to tip toe to look over Belle. She really was short. It was kind of cute. 

“Cut it, Amy.” Belle said, rolling her eyes. But Sophie noticed that her cheeks flushed a little. “Earn’s coming here. She just had to tie her shoes.”

Both girls looked to the same path, so Sophie looked there too. There was a sweet looking girl walking towards them, waving and smiling. She had her hair in a ponytail, and at her sight Belle flashed an honest smile. Small, but it was there. 

“Hey girls!” The girl, who seemed to be Earn, said as she arrived there. “You’re new, right? I’m Earn. I’m here with Belle.” 

Sophie waved back at her. Earn looked and sounded sweet, no wonder Belle melted near her. 

“Oh, you’re here with Belle?” Amy teased, nudging Belle with her elbow. 

Sophie stood there, watching those girls who apparently knew each other for ages. They had their own way of communicating through words and tiny expressions, something you could only build after too much affection and shared experiences. When Jane and another girl- who Sophie could only think was Nano- arrived, their little circle opened to accommodate them. 

She watched in silence, not entirely understanding what was going on there. They had very particular relationships between them, but it all seemed to work. It bothered Sophie how she couldn’t quite tell what they were, but they seemed… different. She was curious. 

“Hey.” Amy whispered right next to her, low enough that it didn’t bother the other girls’ conversations. “Want to go back to the cabin? I can explain the bathroom and other stuff to you.”

Sophie felt so glad to hear that. It was great enough that she was getting a place in a friend group so easily, but having someone actually caring for her… that was more than she expected.

“Yes. I’d love it, thanks.” She answered, nodding nervously. 

Amy just smiled at her and started walking to the cabin. 

“You’re good if you stick with me.” She winked again. 

Sophie smiled at her.