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“But why Sam?” Spencer exclaimed, an unpleasant frown written on his face.
“Why not?” the Debate Club President, Ara, replied as she scoffed. Internally, she was on the verge of chuckling, yet held back.
“Because you KNOW Sam and I don’t get along well!” Spencer retorted, “Sending me to a debate competition while teaming alongside him is basically suicide! We’ll become toast!”
Upon hearing that, Ara could not help but lightly chuckle. “Oh c’mon, Spencer, don’t be dramatic! You and him are our best debaters in our club. You and him together? A powerful duo, the win is guaranteed. Simple logic, don’t you know?” Ara replied, scribbling down the two boys’ names onto the competition sign-up sheet and refusing to give in.
Spencer seethed, gritting his teeth. This was unbelievable.
“I’m sorry if you both have existing beef, which I believe is very petty, fyi,” Ara spoke, “But you both need to put it aside for once to work together.”
Spencer scoffed. Him, Spencer Lawrence, working with Sam? What a bloody joke. The other most powerful debater in the club, always standing on the opposition team and cutting down his points like bullets, while wearing that nasty smug grin on his face and deriving pleasure from seeing him lose? Spencer could not bring himself to accept that this was the very person that he had to work together with.
Spencer hated losing. Every single, every tiny defeat was a big strike to his ego. Throughout his walk of life, Spencer had never failed to clutch a victory, which he enjoyed bragging about to the people around him, which always resulted in everyone shooting fiery glares at him, yet he didn't care, because in his eyes, victory was more important than social connections. This excessive pride and ego of his carried on until he first encountered Sam, a fellow statistical probability major, who was his first worthy opponent.
Their own little petty rivalry began one fine day when both parties were sitting together in a classroom, instructed to solve a math problem separately. Spencer was confident that he would get it right, and completed it at a faster speed. Alas, Sam won the mini unofficial competition between them by offering the correct answer, despite finishing seconds later than him. That was the very day, the very first time when Spencer was finally gagged, deeply humbled, yet refusing to accept defeat. And of course, came the sounds of Spencer cursing under his breath as he glared at Sam, and the latter chuckling at his reaction, which only added fuel to the fire.
The beef was mostly one-sided, as Spencer detested and deeply envied Sam. Besides smarts, Sam also surpassed him in every other aspect in life. Spencer recalled his days where he would stand aside in a corner like a wallflower, while watching Sam get hooked up with both guys and girls who adored his looks. Furthermore, Sam excelled in physical activities. Every time he went up to offer a hand to assist a struggling Spencer in the middle of physical education lessons, Spencer would take it as a personal attack, believing that Sam was just out there to pity him.
“Guess you need to work out more.” Sam always reminded him, yet Spencer could not bring himself to take advice from a guy who just had inborn talent, excelling in things without even having to try too hard, unlike him. It was like Sam was the annoying older brother figure Spencer never had, and Spencer thanked the lords so badly that he was not.
~🤜🤛~
“Come on! That was so many years ago, and there will always be someone better than us! Collaborate, not compete with them!” Ara could not believe that she had to resort to speaking this despite being a major competitor herself.
Just then, the door from a distance away swung open.
“Hi! I saw your text message about being shortlisted for a debate competition.” A familiar figure entered the room. Speak of the devil.
“Yep! Wanna join?”
Sam cheerily gave a thumbs up, “I’m in!”
“And you, Spencer?” Ara questioned Spencer once again.
“Fine, whatever.” Spencer offered the most unenthusiastic response ever.
“Come on, Spencer, this could be fun! You wouldn’t have to worry about me destroying you.” Sam smirked.
Spencer shot Sam a cold glare.
~🤜🤛~
The day of the competition finally arrived. The auditorium’s seats began filling up with people who purchased tickets to tune in to the competition. Meanwhile, Spencer and Sam were backstage, adjusting their outfits and preparing their materials.
“Can’t believe we’re doing this together.” Spencer scoffed, a petty frown on his face.
“Well, guess what? I hate it too.” Sam folded his arms, “You better not disappoint me.”
“Oh, I won’t.” Spencer clenched his fist tightly, “You’re underestimating me.”
“I did not explicitly state that.” Sam corrected.
“Whatever.”
Both parties then pouted and looked away from each other. What a real brilliant idea of Ara to bring them together as teammates, it was like she purposefully did so to witness a clown show. Two separate elites with great achievements and potential, when put together, ironically ended up only sharing a single brain cell.
“Welcome everyone, to our annual debate competition! This year, we’re deciding to keep the topic short and simple.” The host’s announcement on the microphone reverberated across the auditorium, “The topic is: “Are collared shirts better with or without patterns?”
At that moment, Spencer almost wanted to faint. Out of all the topics that they could pick from, they decided to go with this? For the past weeks, Spencer had spent his waking hours with his ass glued to the couch, as he binged newspapers one by one, memorising statistics, double checking every nook and cranny, recapping every recent political trend, and consulting his past debate topic notes that he had personally handwritten and colour coded like the diligent top student he was. And now, this pointless topic? A topic involving some lame fashion which he had zero knowledge about because all his life, he had decided that he was more concentrated on academics rather than a social life, and dressed more like a 12 year old schoolboy rather than a hot sexy man?
Spencer was on the verge of pulling his hair out.
“What kind of a bloody, insignificant question is that?” He wailed, burying his face into his hands.
“Woah, Spencer, looks like we’re screwed.” Sam spoke, wearing a mocking sad frown on his face, intended to piss off Spencer upon witnessing the latter’s distressed looks.
“Shut up! The thing hasn’t even started.”
“Don’t tell me... you actually spent a lot of time preparing for this? What I did was just skim through news sites once on social media the night before.” Sam widened his eyes at Spencer, feigning a shocked look.
At that moment, Spencer swore deep under his breath that there was no one else he wanted to strangle more than Sam.
“Ugh! Just... come sit down here, we have to write out the points we have to speak.” Spencer gestured to a nonchalant Sam, who was purposefully taking his own sweet time strolling slowly to take his seat next to him on the table. 15 seconds passed.
“Hurry up!” Spencer barked.
“Okay, Manager.”
“Screw you.”
~🤜🤛~
The duo finally wrote and split their points onto the pieces of foolscap paper that they were given. Throughout their discussion, it was rather tough for them to come to a mutual consensus on the various points they wanted to talk about, despite them being placed on the same team and supposedly arguing for the same view.
“No, I will talk about how collared shirts without patterns are neater for a work or office setting.” Spencer asserted himself firmly.
“No, that’s not fair, your points are much easier to explain than mine. Also, there isn’t actually a need to elaborate so much on that point of yours.”
“But it’s important. Unless you’ve got a better idea to tell, huh?”
“I do not. But trust me, scrap it, it sounds stupid.”
“YOU sound stupid.”
“I hate this, I don’t actually agree with anything written. May we just admit that collared shirts with patterns are the real bomb?” Finally, Sam gave in and whined.
Spencer glared at Sam. Coincidentally, Sam was a man currently wearing a collared shirt with patterns. Meanwhile, he was a man currently wearing a collared shirt without patterns. Just great.
~🤜🤛~
It was a minute before the debate officially began.
“Okay, promise me, we got this. Speak everything on script.” Spencer reached out his arm, preparing to shake Sam’s hand, like he always did with his past teammates.
“Oh, puh-lease. Skip the formalities. I know you hate working with me.” Sam scoffed, refusing to reach out his arm.
“If you don’t shake on it, I’ll ask you to speak one extra point from my notes.”
“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes.
~🤜🤛~
The competition began.
“Let’s welcome our competitors! First up, we have Benji and Tristan for the supporting side.”
Spencer almost fell out of his chair. Benji? Tristan?
These names somehow rang a bell. And then, he remembered. Those two were witnessing him in a debate competition a few months ago, and after his performance, went up to him expressing admiration for his skills, and how they aspired to be well-spoken and argumentative like Spencer too. Spencer shrugged it off, claiming that debate was easier than it sounds, and that they just needed to sound confident while spouting a ton of bs, that will guarantee them more influence.
Upon hearing that, Benji appeared shocked as he asked with a pair of innocent eyes, “Really?”
“Yes,” Spencer spoke. “That’s how debate works. At least, that was how it worked for me whenever I come across topics that I don’t know.”
With sparkling eyes, both Benji and Tristan thanked him profusely, while claiming to plan to take up debate as a self improvement hobby, for they both claimed to usually have zero backbone and desired to learn to express themselves and argue more confidently.
And so, that was the last thing that both of them said to Spencer before they parted ways, and right today, they appeared again right before his eyes, sitting right at the opposite end of the stage, serving as his opponents. Nuts.
Benji waved to Spencer, giving him a sheepish smile. So did Tristan.
“Wow, look, your fans are here to compete with you. Honestly, they would gladly let you destroy them, so just chill.” Sam remarked.
“Shut up, Sam.”
“...Let’s also welcome Spencer and Sam for our opposing house!” The host finished up his announcement. Applause followed, and the waving of colourful signboards with names and encouraging words flashed on them.
“Okay, let’s welcome, our first speaker for the day, Benji, presenting us with our opening statement for our motion!”
Benji nervously stood up, eyes gazed towards his shoes. His entire body was trembling, it was incredibly obvious. Spencer wondered what made someone like him even sign up for a debate competition, let alone a club.
“G-good evening, I would like to open the speech.” Benji finally stammered, “We think that collared shirts with patterns are better, because... um... a couple of reasons. The first reason is that it looks nicer. Yeah. Our second reason is that it is better for casual settings, which gives a more easygoing vibe to the people overall. Thirdly, when you accidentally spill things or dirty your shirt, the stain mark would not be as obvious when you have a patterned shirt. Yeah. My partner Tristan will come up to elaborate the points next up.”
There was brief silence in the air, followed by some applause. Was this to applaud his argument or just for his moment of bravery? Spencer could not tell.
It was Spencer’s turn to speak. He walked up, thinking of how to counter Benji’s amateur attempt at an argument. There was barely any substance in that opening speech, so Spencer had almost nothing to say. Way to go, Benji. And good fucking job to the hosts, for picking this topic.
Standing tall and proud, Spencer made his rebuttal along with his opening opposing speech. During Tristan’s turn, they made surprisingly decent argument points and concrete examples, as a result of coming from a fashion background. The only thing lacking was their confidence while speaking, which began to lose focus from some of the audience while they rambled on. Furthermore, they struggled to get to the point, which got Spencer impatient. By the time they were finished, there were the sounds of snores coming from the audience.
“Alright, let’s welcome our fourth speaker, Sam!” The host announced, gesturing towards Sam as the latter walked up, a nonchalant yet confident grin on his face. Deep down, Spencer envied Sam for always managing to keep his cool in tense situations. However, what Sam spoke next threw Spencer totally off guard.
“Great point, Tristan. Actually I wholeheartedly agree with you. Collared shirts with patterns are dope.”
Spencer was on the verge of crashing out. What is Sam doing, siding with the opponent?
Spencer glared at Sam, who smirked and winked back at him before resuming to speak, “I am wearing a collared shirt with patterns myself. However, as much as I stand by this point, I have to stick with the one I am assigned with. Right now, allow me to bring you a rebuttal, and then a brand new point on why collared shirts without patterns are margins better.”
A brand new... point?
Spencer could not believe his ears. Where was the previous agreement they had, about Sam being in charge of elaborating his first opposing point?
Right now, he wanted so badly to scream out and remind his teammate, yet could not bring himself to embarrass himself in front of an auditorium filled with people. And so, he could only sit back and pettily sulk. So much for being forced to work with his rival.
“Spencer’s point about collared shirts without patterns being neater for a work or office setting is a weak argument, lacks substantiation or examples.” Sam spoke.
Weak, lacks substantiation or examples? YOU’RE the one who’s supposed to elaborate on those.
Yet, Spencer held back his tongue.
“The rebuttal I would like to bring up now against the supporting house is about how collared shirts without patterns look equally good too, referring to whatever Benji argued about. You know, people who prefer a minimalist style may think collared shirts without patterns look better. Which makes the supporting house’s argument invalid.”
The auditorium was silent, all eyes on Sam.
“Now onto my brand new point, I would like to say that collared shirts without patterns are more efficient. Imagine being a production company having to waste ink printing patterns in bulk, and spending more budget. There is no way I would want to do that. In my opinion, just erase off all the shirt patterns except for the company logo.”
~🤜🤛~
During their short intermission break, Spencer dragged Sam into a corner.
“What the HELL was that?” Spencer chided. “Dismissing my point like that? What are you trying to do, make us lose?”
“What if I am?”
Oh.
Oh, boy.
“But, WHY? It’s pointless.” Spencer exclaimed, tone laced with frustration.
“Well, the question they came up with is such bs.” Sam responded.
“You’re lying. You never back down from a challenge.” Spencer pointed a finger at him. And to clarify, no, it was not the middle finger.
“Because...” Sam lightly chuckled, “Seeing you react this way is entertaining.”
Spencer fumed. Sabotaging a teammate, just for the sake of entertainment? Unacceptable. Is Sam even serious about this? Clearly not.
“Come on, Spencer! We’re up against beginners. This question that the hosts gave us wasn’t even serious. Just take it easy, man. What, is Mr Perfectionist too scared that he’ll lose to newbies and have his 2-year debate winning streak ruined?” Sam spoke again, albeit in a more mocking tone this time.
Spencer clenched his fists in fury. As much as Sam was usually this lazy bastard who somehow manages to breeze through things without much effort, Spencer would admit that he was right in terms of calling him out for working too hard, and setting unrealistic expectations.
Spencer had a new goal in his mind. If Sam wanted to pull the team down and throw the competition so badly, he swore that he was going to do the same. No way was he going to let that freeloader hold onto the same trophy as him. No freaking way. If Spencer loses, he will make sure that Sam is going down with him. If this is the one time Spencer finally decides to put his ego aside and chooses to lose on purpose by putting on a ludicrous clown show, it will be worth it in the end.
“Fine, whatever you say! If you don’t want to work with me, be my guest.” Spencer crossed his arms.
“Gladly.” Sam retorted.
Both parties turned around and walked away from each other, refusing to have a productive discussion on their next step. After all, their upcoming step was going to thrive purely on chaos.
~🤜🤛~
The competition resumed, and Benji and Tristan looked even more worn out and nervous than ever. Little did they know that their chances of winning were going to be increased to 90%, thanks to the petty stunts that their supposedly elite opponents were going to pull on each other.
“Over here, when Spencer made a point about collared shirts without patterns making you look like a more well-rounded person, he is absolutely wrong. I could easily spill some ice cream onto him, and he’ll look like the messiest person on earth.”
“Adding onto my teammate Sam’s point with a whole new point of mine because he said something utterly useless...”
“To rebut Tristan’s point, I have nothing to rebut, because what they said actually makes sense. Non-pattern shirts are boooringing.”
There were confused noises emerging from the audience, as they witnessed the two supposedly most elite debaters get themselves into this mess. This mess that supposedly even amateur debaters like Benji and Tristan would never get themselves into, because at least they did not have the conflict management skills equivalent to those of kindergarteners.
“Woah, Ara, what were you thinking, getting them to be teammates?” Nura, the debate vice president, questioned Ara who was sitting beside her on the front row.
“C’mon! It’s funny, seeing them try to work together... that’s why I signed them up for this beginners’ competition!”
“You sly snake.” Nura folded her arms, looking at Ara impressively.
“That I am!” Ara chirped, grinning from ear to ear.
~🤜🤛~
The competition was almost reaching its end. It was Spencer against his own supposed teammate Sam, against Benji and Tristan, their opponents, who were dumbfounded at this chaos. Could Spencer and Sam’s downfall lead to the amateur competitors’ first win?
“Benji, I can’t believe we actually have a chance. This is literally our first time. And you know how I was almost going to piss my pants throughout.” Tristan giggled.
“Yeah, when I saw these two as opponents for the beginners’ competition, I almost wanted to back out. It’s like they’re trolling and mocking us, but it looks like a whole new story here.” Benji responded, eyes still glued onto his opponents who were spouting nonsense on stage.
It was a whole new story indeed, as rather than focusing on the quality of the arguments, the audience and even the host were more concentrated on the mere sight of two cutthroat debaters sabotaging their own team towards defeat, while shooting daggers and death glares at each other every time each one of them made a cutting remark towards their teammate’s previous argument.
“Sam’s argument was weak and totally without substantiation. So let me give you an equally poor example to back it up, and then listen to my proper new points, which are not actually new, but rather reiterations of my previous points because I’m very original.”
“I am going to stand over here, agreeing with everything Tristan said. Also, could someone turn up the ac?”
“I’m here to present with you 13 reasons why Sam’s argument is completely and utterly wrong.”
By then, the majority of the audience were already holding their hands over their mouths, doing their utmost to stifle their laughter. Meanwhile, Ara raised up her coloured signboard and squealed, “Go, Sam, Spencer! Go get each other!”
Nura facepalmed at Ara.
Finally, it was time for Spencer to make the finishing speech, followed by one final rebuttal from the opposing team. He walked up reluctantly. This was the crucial moment. As of right now, his opponents’ weak arguments along with he and Sam’s feud caused them to be stuck in a tie. Spencer decided that he was going to give the worst finishing speech to mankind once and for all, for everyone’s jaws to drop, for them to point and state that he and Sam had made the worst team, and to serve as a warning to remind Ara to never, ever, put them onto a same team again.
“Greetings, ladies and gentlemen!” Spencer walked up with big steps and to the front of the microphone stand, “I would like to finish my speech by bringing up a whole new point. I would like to state that all in all, both collared shirts with or without pattens, suck.”
Upon hearing that last word, the audience began bursting into fits of laughter. At that moment, they knew that the top student, overachiever Spencer had officially gone nuts and resorted to sabotaging himself. All because of his petty feud with Sam.
“To continue, I would like to bring a neutral and whole new point. The weather is so bloody hot nowadays, forget about collars, forget about whatever sleeves or covers, we should all go sleeveless. When at the beach, guys ought to go shirtless. With heatwaves going on, we should normalise men being shirtless in public, because all in all, comfort trumps formality. Even at work, because the ac is still so bloody ineffective and productivity levels will drop.”
There! That should be it. Right now all he has to do is wait for Benji to rebut his point, by stating anything that is related to the actual motion rather than this nonsense he just spouted. This will guarantee Sam’s downfall.
As Spencer proudly walked back to his seat, he suddenly witnessed Sam holding his palm over his mouth, hiding a chuckle. Spencer shot him a fiery glare for the umpteenth time.
“Go, Benji, you got this.” Spencer silently cheered under this breath. This was the first time Spencer Lawrence had, in fact, resorted to cheering for his opponent, and he detested it. Yet, he remembered that the Benji that he had first met was soft-spoken, unconfident. Choosing to take up debate as a result of Spencer’s words of encouragement and even entering a competition was something he ought to pat himself on the back for, and right now, there was an easy giveaway win for him, to showcase how he, a first time debater, won against two elites.
Come on, Benji. Spencer prayed.
Anything to stop that bastard from winning.
Benji walked up to the microphone stand. All eyes were staring intensely at him, waiting for him to make the crucial move.
And then, came his final speech.
“I agree.” he spoke. Two words, very simple on the surface, yet sufficient to bring everything into absolute chaos, and undo all their previous efforts.
At that moment, Spencer could not believe his ears. His mouth gaped open. He wanted to pinch himself so hard and pray that he was merely in a dream. Alas, it was not a dream. Despite the one time Spencer actually tried his best to fail, he still succeeded. This was the sun rising from the West. Or the fact that Spencer was just too overpowered, and got to keep his debate winning streak.
“I’m sorry,” Benji nervously smiled, “I don’t know what to say to rebut, and whatever you said kind of made sense, so...”
“And the winning team goes to... Sam and Spencer!” The host spoke, albeit awkwardly. The grin on his face was very clearly forced. Meanwhile in the auditorium, the audience clapped along as instructed, despite at a loss and disbelief of whatever just unfolded before them. This has got to be the worst debate show, ever, totally not worth the 20 bucks that they spent on. And the two elite debaters ironically ended up being the main drivers of this shitshow, all because of a petty beef and the decision to banter and take each other down during a competition out of all times, even when working as teammates.
~🤜🤛~
The two boys stood in the centre of the stage, stage lights focused onto both of them as they each held onto one side of the golden trophy reluctantly. A trophy that they had in fact, accidentally won. Guess Ara was right, they reeeaaally made a dream team and power duo.
Meanwhile, the crowd aggressively snapped pictures of the winners from their seats, while some of them sat back and cursed under their breath as they lamented and wondered about how those two even snagged that win.
“You believe they just did this to each other?”
“Ye, I’d be mad too.”
Meanwhile, as Ara was attempting to snap a proper picture of her two fellow debate members, she could not help but wipe off her tears of laughter as she adjusted her shaky camera that resulted from all her chuckling. This was comedy gold, and in fact, one of her best decisions she made for the team.
“Ha, see, I told you Spencer, taking it easy works! We still won! All thanks to your final speech. I still can’t believe you said all that!” Tears of laughter rolled out of Sam’s eyes as he spoke.
“Pfft.” Spencer replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. If someone he knew had actually recorded a video of his final speech, he swore that he was going to spend the next month buried underground and hidden in his room.
“Congrats for being the winner of this year’s competition! Surely you boys must be really happy, right?” The host spoke into the microphone, questioning them for their afterthoughts.
“Rightttt.” Both of them responded, before shooting a glare at each other.
“Any regrets you may have?” The host questioned again.
“Oh, plenty,” Spencer thought, “I’m not happy that I won, I’m just mad that I failed to make this motherfucker lose.”
Yet, he remained civil.
“A regret I have is that... I could have communicated with my teammate better.” Spencer spoke into the microphone, reluctantly attempting to sound as cordial as possible, yet wore a facial expression that did not match his words. It was one that showed that he was ultimately, and utterly done with Sam.
“And you, Sam?”
“Me?” Sam placed his hand onto his chest, standing tall and mighty, “I have absolutely no regrets.” A smug grin then emerged onto his face. Spencer gritted his teeth furiously at him, and the latter merely gave him a playful wink, which added fuel to the fire.
Sam Thitivoranan, mark your days.