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“Come on,” Jisung wheedled, beer bottle forgotten on the high table they were all gathered around. “I know you want to kiss me!”
“I absolutely do not,” Jeongin argued with a grimace and a laugh as she pushed Jisung away with her palm against Jisung's sternum.
Taking a pull of beer from her own bottle, Changbin chuckled fondly at the familiar scene playing out before her.
Inevitably, when their group of friends gathered—most often at the bar they had been frequenting since they were in college together—and Jisung got just the tiniest amount of alcohol in her, she'd start pestering Jeongin for a kiss. And Jeongin would turn her down every single time. But Jisung was nothing if not determined when she set her mind to something.
It wasn't as though Jisung actually had feelings for Jeongin. It was mostly that Jeongin was straight, Jisung was bi, and Jisung refused to let the fact that Jeongin had drunkenly kissed her on the cheek once in college go. Now, three years after Jeongin, the baby of the group, had graduated, Jisung was still up to her old antics. And Changbin was amused watching them no matter how many times she'd seen this exact scene play out.
“You're no fun!” Jisung complained, throwing her hands up dramatically. “Hyunjin, you'll kiss me, right? I'm horny. I wanna makeout.”
Changbin nearly choked as she tried to swallow her beer. This was a level beyond Jisung's usual schtick.
“No thanks,” Hyunjin laughed, tipping her head back to pour the last of her Manhattan down her throat.
“You don't miss when we were roommates in college?” Jisung prodded, batting her lashes while looking up at Hyunjin's face.
“When we fought constantly and then made out when we were drunk?” she scoffed and then let out a chuckle. “Not at all.”
Jisung sighed, slumping against the edge of the table so her boobs spilled over the edge of her black tank top.
“I'll make out with you,” Minho offered with a smirk and all the bravado of someone who knew he would be turned down.
“Pass,” Jisung groaned. “I don't kiss people who aren't attracted to me.”
“What about Jeongin, then?” Hyunjin sputtered out a laugh.
“That's different,” Jisung insisted. “I know Jeongin secretly wants me so bad.”
“Nope!” Jeongin reiterated, shaking her head good naturedly.
She knew as well as anyone that Jisung's whole obsession with kissing her was just a silly bit. Though if Jeongin ever agreed, Changbin thought Jisung might ascend to some other plane, if only because she'd managed to accomplish the impossible.
Jisung sighed again dejectedly.
“Chan?” she prompted after a second, gaze latching onto the figure across the table like she'd forgotten he was there until that minute.
“What?” Chan giggled, face flushing to have everyone turning to look at him. “No, no. I don't kiss my friends.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Changbin saw Minho's face do something before he turned away to take a swig from his beer bottle.
Changbin was vaguely aware that she was the only one not a part of the exchange, but that was fair enough. She was straight, so like Minho, she wasn't attracted to women. And she wasn't Jeongin, so it wasn't like Jisung would have started begging her for a kiss.
“This is literally so homophobic of you all,” Jisung complained, holding onto the edge of the table like she might have been tipsier than she'd realized. “And during pride month!”
“You're bi,” Hyunjin pointed out with a quirk of her lips, dark nails drumming on her empty glass.
“Biphobic then,” Jisung corrected with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “Geez, we've got the police over here.”
The conversation devolved into something about a post Hyunjin had seen online about pride month, and Changbin was torn between keeping an eye on Jisung to be sure she didn't get too drunk because she was a lightweight and keeping an eye on Minho to make sure he didn't get too drunk over Chan's obliviousness.
Jisung was her roommate, so she felt a certain responsibility over her, but when it appeared that she wasn't going to have a second drink, Changbin relaxed. She'd lost track of Minho by then, but Chan was also missing. Hopefully Chan, unaware of anyone's romantic inclinations but fastidious about his friends’ well-being, had the matter in hand.
That was why Changbin allowed Hyunjin to drag her out to dance. Jisung, sipping the water Changbin had brought her, was in the midst of a very intense looking debate with Jeongin about a movie Changbin hadn't seen. No reason why she couldn't follow Hyunjin onto the dance floor to sway to the music and enjoy how light her head felt after a beer and a half.
Hyunjin had minored in dance at college, so she could—and would—stay on the dancefloor until it was time to leave or someone dragged her away for a drink. Changbin, though not as enthusiastic, still enjoyed dancing with her friends enough that she lost track of how many songs went by as she swung her hips and watched Hyunjin's hair at her temples start to stick to her skin with sweat.
It hadn't felt like it had been too long when her gaze got stuck on a familiar figure near the wall. What she noticed first was the black leather cuff around the wrist of the person standing there—the cuff that she often saw discarded on the kitchen island next to Jisung's pile of silver rings. The same rings her eyes slid to next.
Last she'd seen Jisung, she was waving her arms wildly to gesticulate some point to Jeongin at their table. But more time must have passed than she thought because that was Jisung leaning back against the wall with her chest pushed forward and her arms hooked around the neck of a woman Changbin didn't recognize, fingers woven through the blonde hair at the stranger's nape.
As Changbin watched, body swaying slightly to the beat on autopilot and the pulse of the music reverberating in her ears, Jisung's lips tipped up in a smirk—dark eyes almost dangerous as she tilted her head to regard the woman she was with. And then she was leaning in to meet the stranger in an open-mouthed kiss.
Some distant alarm was ringing in the back of Changbin's head: look away! This isn't for you to see! But she found herself fixated despite what she knew to be the more ethical choice she should have made.
The strap of Jisung's tank top had fallen down her shoulder, giving her appearance a disheveled quality that made what Changbin was witnessing feel even more elicit. Her denim-clad legs were parted enough for the stranger's thigh to slot between them, and Changbin looked away as though she'd felt an electric shock when she noticed the subtle rock of Jisung's hips.
It was only after Hyunjin asked her what was wrong that she realized she'd stopped dancing.
“Thirsty,” she replied, miming holding a glass and taking a drink.
She and Hyunjin made their way back to their table in the back room where the music wasn't quite as loud and ordered water from the bar.
Changbin felt rattled, and she couldn't figure out why.
Was it catching sight of a side of her friend that she hadn't been privy to before—that she hadn't been meant to see? Maybe, but Changbin belatedly remembered a party in college during which Jisung had made out with a boyfriend and then ended up on the bathroom floor with Changbin and Minho supervising her as she puked her guts out.
Could it be that she hadn't seen her kiss a girl before? But there had been greeting kisses and goodbye pecks with girlfriends in the past, Changbin was sure. Though she didn't think she'd seen Jisung make out with a girl like that before.
She wasn't homophobic, was she? As Hyunjin launched into a story about something that had happened at work for Chan, who had since returned to their table, Changbin had to remind herself of how many times she'd seen Hyunjin make out with girls—at college parties, at bars, with girlfriends and hook-ups alike. That had never shocked or caused her distress. Except that time that she'd found Hyunjin and some girl on her bed back in college. But that distress was for her sheets, not whatever Hyunjin was up to.
Maybe it was just the combination of not being used to seeing Jisung making out with people on a regular basis and her protective streak over her. Hyunjin had always done whatever she wanted to do, however she wanted to do it. Changbin didn't worry about her.
Changbin worried about Jisung, whether she needed to or not. Jisung was just a lot softer than she let on. And even though she didn't like to let anyone see her vulnerabilities, Changbin had gotten quite good at noticing when she was struggling. She had also gotten good, as Jisung's roommate, at subtly offering support in a way that wouldn't have Jisung retreating further into herself when she was having a hard time.
Chan teased her for having a soft spot for Jisung, but who could blame her? She thought that all of their friends did, to some extent. Though she could admit that she might have been the worst.
Anyway, she wasn't homophobic—just protective. That was fine.
That was why, when Jisung showed back up at their table a half hour later with kiss-swollen lips and loose limbs, Changbin was relieved that Jisung was coming home with her, not a stranger.
Though none of that explained why the flash of Jisung's hip tattoo under her camisole and the curl of her fingers at the stranger's neck stayed with her even after she'd washed her face and crawled into bed. Jisung was safe in her own room after sleepily telling Changbin goodnight, unaware of Changbin's unease.
---
Changbin walked into her apartment and was met with Jisung's ass—clad in spandex and pointed directly at the door.
“Not the greeting I was expecting,” Minho mused with a chuckle, moving around Changbin in the entryway to kick off his shoes and make his way toward the couch.
The animal shelter Minho worked at was near the gym where Changbin taught pilates, so they often grabbed dinner after work. And that day, after a certain horror movie had come up over hot pot, Minho had convinced Changbin that they should watch it together that night.
Changbin hastily unstuck herself from where she had frozen, and stepped out of her shoes to follow Minho.
“You love it!” Jisung replied to Minho's tease, still bent over at the waist, and waved her butt around to punctuate her point.
However, she got a bit too enthusiastic with her movements for someone whose head was hanging down by their knees and quickly lost her balance.
Luckily, Changbin was close enough to grab her by the hips—an arm wrapped around her middle so her ass was pressed against Changbin's pelvis.
Minho cackled from the couch.
“You good?” Changbin asked, steadying Jisung and helping her to stand up straight without tipping forward.
“Shit, yeah, thanks,” she muttered, shooting Changbin a beaming, heart-shaped smile before scowling at Minho who was still making fun of her for nearly falling over.
“Careful, Sung,” Changbin said, clearing her throat and patting her on the slightly sweaty shoulder before forcing herself over to the couch.
“What, a girl can't do yoga in her own home?” Jisung complained, tightening her ponytail and untwisting the strap of her sports bra.
“Not if it ends in a head injury,” Changbin chided fondly, stealing the remote from Minho before he could mess with the color settings on her TV again.
Jisung threw up her hands. “It's his fault!”
They continued bickering, as they were wont to do, while Changbin found the movie on streaming.
“Are you joining us?” Changbin asked, glancing over where Jisung was in the downward dog position, though she was still complaining about something to Minho.
Abruptly, Jisung dropped out of the pose and sprawled on her mat on the floor with an overdramatic sigh.
“Fine,” she acquiesced as if they'd been pressuring her. Though Changbin was pleased. “Gimme a sec.”
Pushing herself up from the floor, Jisung dropped onto the couch between Changbin and Minho, not bothering to change out of her workout clothes.
Minho pretended to sniff her, and Jisung whacked him in the arm.
“Close enough?” Changbin teased, forced to scoot closer to the arm of the couch and still pressed against Jisung from shoulder to thigh.
“Nope,” Jisung sang, turning to shoot Changbin a grin and making her ponytail swing. “Can I sit in your lap?”
Her pleading pout was over the top and typical of her usual antics, but Changbin felt herself flushing inexplicably under her doe eyes anyway.
“No, come on,” she said gruffly, adding a laugh at the last second. “You're all sweaty and there's room for all of us on here.”
“I'm not sweaty!” Jisung yelled, and Minho was quick to disagree until their voices drowned out the opening of the movie.
Changbin was actually starting to sweat, though she wasn't sure why. It wasn't even that warm in the apartment. Maybe it was just Jisung's body heat. She tried to scoot over more, but there was really nowhere to go.
She did her best to focus on the movie.
Afterwards, Minho said it was awful but that he liked it. Jisung had a bunch of really specific complaints that she kept going over and over even though Changbin and Minho had already heard, comprehended, and replied to her.
But Changbin, despite not being much of a horror fan, barely remembered anything that happened five minutes after the credits rolled, nor could she recall being remotely scared. It must really have been awful.
After Minho left, Changbin excused herself to the bathroom—locking the door and taking a long shower to scrub the sweat from her skin.
She must have been coming down with something. The flu. A virus. Her period? Something.
Anything to explain how weird she felt in her own home in her own bed with Jisung on the other side of her own wall.
---
“Don't you think that last scene would have been better without the CG, though?” Jisung prompted yet again as they made their way down the gum-speckled sidewalk on their way to the new café that had just opened near their apartment. “I can't understand what they were thinking.”
“Yeah, it looked really fake,” Changbin agreed for the fourth or fifth time since they'd watched the movie with Minho the night before.
“It honestly had potential, and then they just made these incomprehensible decisions. Who was signing off on them?” Jisung ranted tugged at her tube top made from a repurposed band t-shirt. “Like, how did the director who made the first scene also make that last scene? Did they get body-snatched in the middle of production?”
Changbin nodded, lips trying to pull into a smile that she tamped down lest Jisung realize that she was more engaged by how passionately she had been saying the same things again and again than she was by what she was actually saying. Mostly because she'd heard it all before, including the imposter director conspiracy theory.
“Ooh!” Jisung exclaimed suddenly, cutting herself off in the middle of a recap of the villain monologue she hated so much, which probably meant she was going to have to start at the beginning again. “Spot me!”
They were passing a park with a waist-high wall that ran along the edge of a raised flower bed. And Jisung was now clamoring onto the wall despite her denim mini skirt and chunky sneakers that Changbin kept worrying she was going to roll her ankle in.
“Careful,” Changbin fretted, holding an arm up in Jisung's direction like she could keep her from falling with some sort of force field.
“That's why you're spotting me,” she giggled, gingerly putting one foot in front of the other and holding her arms out to the side to keep her balance.
“You're also in a mini skirt,” Changbin reminded her, keeping pace with her in case she needed to grab Changbin's hand.
“The only one close enough to see up my skirt is you,” Jisung pointed out, teetering just slightly before regaining her stability. “And you're allowed, so it's fine.”
“What do you mean I'm allowed?” Changbin gaped, cheeks heating and traitorous eyes glancing over just long enough to know that Jisung's underwear was hot pink before she quickly looked away.
“We live together,” Jisung laughed, nearly to the end of the wall—thank god. “You've seen me in my underwear a million times. Why would I care if you saw up my skirt?”
Somehow looking up Jisung's skirt seemed more scandalous than seeing her cross from the bathroom to her bedroom in her underwear, but she hummed in acknowledgement.
When Jisung got to the end of the wall, she finally grabbed Changbin's offered hand and hopped back down onto the sidewalk.
“Now where was I?” she asked, adjusting her top before launching into her analysis of the villain's monologue again. From the beginning.
Changbin bit her lip to keep from smiling.
---
Changbin was back at the bar. Or it looked kind of like the bar at least. The lighting felt wrong, and when she looked up, the ceiling was missing—a black void that stretched as far as she could see in its place.
Hands curled around her hips, burning hot through her clothes. Changbin shivered, leaning into the warmth and feeling the way her nerves came alive at the contact. Never had she been so desperate to be touched—body thrumming with the need to be close, closer, with the person at her back.
She was being walked forward. One second, they were in the middle of the dance floor and the next, the wall loomed in front of Changbin's face. The hands helped to spin her around so her back ended up pressed to the exposed brick.
Jisung was in front of her, the same negligible amount taller than Changbin that she was in real life, but Changbin had the sense that she was looking up to see her face.
The warmth of Jisung's body seemed to glow in the space between them until she stepped forward so they were pressed together from chest to thigh. Changbin gasped at the contact, skin humming with the rightness of Jisung's touch.
Like that night she had seen her with that girl, Jisung's eyes were dark as she drank in Changbin's face. She felt devoured by only a look, yearning toward Jisung like a flower toward the light. Why wasn't Jisung kissing her? Why were they still surrounded by all of these strangers?
The room fell away at Changbin's thought—the bar, the noise, the people, the idea of music in the pulse of bass under her feet. All that was left was Jisung and the throb between her legs as she waited with baited breath for the remaining space between them to disappear.
With a shudder, Changbin felt the press of Jisung's thigh between hers. And without thinking, she found her hips rocking instinctively—the friction heady but not enough.
“Please,” Changbin breathed. Or maybe just thought. But Jisung was leaning in so her lips brushed against Changbin's, sending ripples of need across Changbin's skin.
With a gasp, she woke in bed—sheets soaked with sweat and tangled around her legs. It took a moment for the muzzy dregs of sleep to dissipate enough for her to register where she was, who she was…and what she had been dreaming about.
Freeing herself from the knot of blankets, Changbin pulled the damp and cool sheet over her body with an uncomfortable shiver. Worse was the insistent pulse between her thighs that hadn't let up despite the clammy bedding and abrupt end of her dream.
Normally, Changbin would have stuck a pillow between her legs to grind to completion before drifting back off to sleep in a bubble of satisfaction. Whether the dream was about a significant other, celebrity crush, or swamp creature, she didn't really care. A dream was just a dream, and an orgasm to get herself back to sleep was a small price to pay to the sleep gods.
But now, with Jisung's dark, heavy gaze in her mind, Changbin couldn't bring herself to do anything about the want simmering under her skin. Letting herself ride the arousal that was inspired by Jisung's warmth against her front and her lips closing in on her own felt wrong in a way she couldn't explain.
Squeezing her thighs together and trying to will her body back into a state of equilibrium, Changbin closed her eyes against the glow of her watch charger.
It was only a dream, brought forth by an experience that left her feeling slightly unmoored. But she was over it now, and therefore, her subconscious would hopefully move on quickly as well.
Sleep took its sweet time returning to her, but after an hour of resituating her pillow and adjusting her blankets, Changbin did eventually drift back off. And when she woke to her alarm hours later, she couldn't recall having any more dreams.
---
“Have you seen those videos of people removing strings from pigeons’ feet?” Jisung asked, idling in their shared kitchen and waiting for the microwave to finish heating her frozen burrito.
Changbin had offered to cook something for her even though she'd gotten dinner on her way home from work with a colleague, but Jisung insisted that it wasn't necessary. It had taken a monumental amount of willpower to keep from checking the nutritional details on the discarded wrapper. Changbin wasn't a health nut, but she doubted the burrito had literally any value befitting an actual meal.
“Strings?” Changbin asked, forcing herself to stop focusing on the hum of the microwave.
“Yeah,” Jisung confirmed, leaning against the counter and putting all her weight on her hips to tip forward and lift her feet up. “Sometimes they get strings or, like, trash tangled on their feet. It tightens over time and can cause the circulation to be cut off, which is how pigeons lose their feet or toes.”
Changbin winced, unable to keep from imagining herself as a pigeon with string wrapped too tightly around her feet.
“Some people go to parks or wherever to look for pigeons with things caught on their feet so they can catch them and untangle them before letting them go,” Jisung explained, walking back over to the microwave when it beeped to pull out the burrito in all its glory.
“How do they hold them still long enough?” Changbin asked, coming to sit beside Jisung at the kitchen island as she sat down to enjoy her…meal.
“They put them in a sock,” Jisung giggled, “so they don't flap their wings or move too much.”
“A sock?”
“It looks really goofy,” Jisung confirmed with a grin, poking her burrito and apparently deciding it was too hot because she didn't pick it up. “But it's for the greater good.”
Instead, she grabbed her water bottle and took a drink.
“Try telling the pigeons stuffed in socks that,” Changbin joked, and Jisung was startled into a laugh that unfortunately had her mouthful of water spraying out on the counter and dripping down her chin to soak the front of her shirt.
“Sung,” Changbin chided, though there was no edge to her tone. She was too pleased to have made Jisung laugh. “I'll wipe the counter. Go change your shirt.”
“Yeah,” Jisung answered on a sigh, holding her wet shirt away from her skin. “Sorry.”
“It's fine,” Changbin told her, standing up to make for the paper towels. “Don't worry abo-”
But then she wasn't speaking—or moving—anymore because Jisung was pulling her soggy shirt up and over her head, right there in the kitchen. And since she wasn't wearing a bra, Changbin was suddenly making eye contact with her nipples and the silver bars that were threaded through them.
With the black shading of her tattoo that ran from just under her armpit to the curve of her hip, the ink disappearing under the fabric of her sweats, and the other tattoo on her chest, Changbin marveled at how each dark line just made her skin look warmer and more beautiful by contrast.
And then she realized that she was meant to be cleaning up a spill and Jisung was meant to be getting a dry shirt, and she snapped out of it.
“You just strip in the kitchen now?” she complained, zeroing in on the paper towels and pulling off too many sheets. “What if we had guests?”
Jisung snorted as she disappeared down the hall to her bedroom—finally, it seemed, going to get a new shirt.
“What guests?” she asked with a laugh when she returned and Changbin was tossing the balled up paper towels in the trash. “And anyway, clearly it's just you and me here.”
“Would you take off your shirt if Minho was over?” Changbin challenged before she could stuff the words back in her mouth and drop it.
“If I was wearing a bra, yeah,” Jisung answered with a shrug, face betraying her confusion at Changbin's line of questioning. “It's not like he'd be very interested in what I have to offer anyway.”
“True,” Changbin mumbled, looking through the stack of mail that they had already looked at but couldn't decide if they needed to keep instead of meeting Jisung's eyes.
Jisung climbed back onto the barstool and poked her burrito again. This time she picked it up and took a bite.
Changbin considered whether an electric bill from three months ago could be thrown away.
“Have you seen pictures of pigeons’ nests in the city?” Jisung asked after a moment of paper shuffling and chewing. “They're a little sad looking, but charming, in their own way. It'll be, like, three pieces of plant matter and a straw.”
“Impressive,” Changbin joked, unable to keep from lifting her gaze to see the pleased grin on Jisung's face as she regaled her with pigeon facts.
“Pigeons actually nest in rock ledges…I mean, originally. And some still do! So they’re actually just following their instincts, even if it looks ridiculous to us when we're used to seeing bigger, more structured nests.”
And that was how Changbin settled back onto the other barstool and spent the next twenty minutes listening to Jisung explain the history of how pigeons became domesticated.
As far as random topics went, it was pretty interesting. But Changbin was still painfully aware of the shape of Jisung's nipple piercings under her thin t-shirt.
---
Changbin was losing her mind. Maybe. Probably.
If she said she wasn't, that would mean she had to face the thoughts that kept swirling around in her head as actual, legitimate desires she held.
If she said she was, then she couldn't trust her own mind. Which was objectively horrible—a fate she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.
And yet that somehow sounded easier to deal with than admitting that she couldn't stop thinking about Jisung.
And not in the normal way she was always thinking about Jisung. God, the fact that there even was a normal way…
Now, instead of constant thoughts of how Jisung was doing, if there was anything to indicate that she was struggling, what Changbin could do– Now it was the fan of her lashes over those dark eyes as she leaned in to kiss that girl at the club, it was her legs when she sprawled on the couch in tiny shorts, it was her waist in that red dress Changbin always complimented her on, it was her rosy pink nipples peaked in the cool air of their kitchen–
She had to get a grip. There was no world in which she should have been thinking of her friend and roommate like this, especially when Jisung's trust in her was what had led to the number of ways she had seen her in varying stages of undress. Which she was trying really hard not to think about, but it was near impossible when Jisung's nipple piercings kept winking in the light at her whenever she closed her eyes.
Changbin wasn't into women, though. She was straight. She'd had a handful of boyfriends and a few hookups to prove it. Not that sexuality was a resume that required references. Or that people couldn't have plenty of references and still be living a lie.
But she liked sex with men—loved it, even, when her partner was especially good in bed. And she'd been head-over-heels in love with one of the guys she'd dated in college until they'd grown apart due to busy schedules and lack of overlapping interests. There really wasn't a question as to whether or not she was attracted to men.
The relevant question seemed to be whether she was attracted to women, even though she'd hardly given it a second thought before recently. Even though most of her friends were queer, she just hadn't ever suspected she could be too.
There was even that summer during college when she'd roomed with Hyunjin when they both stayed on campus instead of going home for break. If she was going to have a bi awakening, wouldn't it have come when Hyunjin was sprawled in front of their oscillating fan in their un-airconditioned apartment in a tiny camisole and her underwear? Hyunjin was supermodel-gorgeous and one of her best friends. And a lesbian with a reputation for her skills in bed. Surely that would have done something for her if she was really bi.
But Hyunjin didn't inspire anything other than platonic feelings in her. Which was how she'd felt about Jisung just a couple of weeks before. Or at least she'd thought she had. Fuck, she was so mixed up, she couldn't even conjure a proper memory of her innocently fond feelings for Jisung. Everything was overlaid with the vision of her tattoos over her bare skin and the dip of her lashes.
She couldn't stop thinking about running her palms up her sides to feel the dip of her tiny waist. Or pressing her thumbs against the smooth skin that stretched over her sharp hipbones. Or tracing the bar that pierced her nipple with her finger…
Changbin had tried to shock herself into ending those thoughts with the idea of spreading Jisung's thighs to touch the sensitive flesh between them—something she had no interest in as a straight woman—but instead of feeling repelled, it had her stomach swooping and heat prickling along her neck.
Maybe if she wasn't surrounded by a diverse and (relatively) well-adjusted group of queer friends, that might have scared her. But instead, she found herself more curious than anything.
Putting a pin in the Jisung thing (because that was a whole other can of worms that she couldn't deal with right then), Changbin pulled up some lesbian porn on her laptop and sat down to watch it.
Porn didn't do too much for her, honestly. She knew some women liked it (Jisung did, her mind supplied, and then she quickly shut that thought down), while others didn't get much from it (Hyunjin, for example—unless erotic fine art counted, which Hyunjin insisted it didn't…tell that to the numerous canvases of female genitalia she had hanging around her apartment).
So the fact that she wasn't suddenly so horny she couldn't stand it wasn't a surprise after watching a few minutes of a woman eating out another woman bent into an impossible position on a kitchen counter. But again, she wasn't turned off. And when her mind supplied an imagined version of the scene with Jisung spread eagle over a granite countertop, her body had something to say about it with a throb echoing between her legs.
Well, shit. It appeared she wasn't as straight as she'd always assumed. Which wouldn't have been a huge deal, except for the fact that her bisexual awakening was Jisung.
What the fuck was she even supposed to do with that?
Having a sudden fixation with a friend's nipples was always going to be tricky. But Jisung was more than that. With Jisung, Changbin has always been so…
Soft. She had always been so soft for her. She just hadn't realized that she was also h– There was a really crude joke she could make, but that wouldn't help.
And it wasn't like Jisung returned her…whatever this was.
First of all, she thought Changbin was straight, so she'd probably filed her away into some folder for non-queer girls in her mind—not to be considered. And she didn't even jokingly hit on her like she did with Jeongin. There was no way she had anything other than platonic feelings for Changbin.
Which was fine! This didn't need to be anyone else's problem. She was just realizing some things about herself, that was all. Maybe one day she'd meet some other girl who inspired similar feelings in her and they'd date. Maybe not and she'd continue dating men. Who knew? It was fine. Nothing had changed. Except her potential dating pool.
At some point, when she managed to keep Jisung's bare torso and lust-blown eyes out of her head, she'd let her friends know that she wasn't as straight as she'd thought. But until then, it was safer just to say nothing lest she reveal more of her cards than she meant to.
All she has to do is go back to thinking about Jisung as her friend—a younger sister she could look out for. That was totally doable.
Any day now…
---
Changbin resigned herself to suppressing every uncomfortable and surprisingly powerful surge of feeling for Jisung.
Her leggings hugging her waist while she did yoga in the living room? None of her business. Her face going slack when she fell asleep on the couch mid-movie? Not chest-achingly sweet, just nice to see her resting. The desire to trace the tattoo over her ribs with her tongue? Just an intrusive thought—no need to give it any more weight.
That was mostly working. Kind of. As well as could be expected, anyway. Even though it seemed like Jisung was wearing fewer and fewer clothes around the apartment. Summer weather, probably. Or it was Changbin's imagination. But even Changnin had her limits.
And that limit was walking into their shared apartment after getting coffee with a friend and finding Jisung standing in front of the fridge in a pair of lace underwear and a thin crop top that did nothing to hide the points of her nipples—hard from the chill of the fridge. The lace of the underwear wasn't entirely sheer like a thin mesh would have been, but the shadow of the crack of her ass was still visible through the material.
Changbin swore, tripping as she tried to step out of her sneakers, and Jisung turned at the noise, her bush visible through the front of her panties. Jesus Christ.
“Are you doing this on purpose?” Changbin lamented before she could swallow the indignant exclamation.
Jisung's face went pink, a look of panic flashing behind her eyes, before she quickly schooled her expression into something verging on neutral.
“Doing what?” she asked guilelessly, blinking her big doe eyes at Changbin even as she stood with nearly all of her body bared in their shared kitchen.
If Changbin hadn't caught the fleeting look of unease on her face, she might have dropped it—played it off as a joke, deflected, changed the subject. But she knew Jisung. She knew that expression.
“Jisung,” she said, watching Jisung's face turn a deeper shade of scarlet.
“Okay, okay,” she acquiesced, predictably easily under Changbin's stern expression. “I just sort of noticed that you've been getting kind of…flustered when I wear…not a lot of clothes lately, so I wanted to see if I was imagining it or not.”
So she hadn't been as subtle as she'd hoped.
Changbin gritted her teeth against the self-consciousness that was creeping up the back of her neck.
“And then what?” she challenged, pushing past her embarrassment in the hope that Jisung wouldn't notice it. “What was the purpose of finding out if you were imagining it?”
“I just…wanted to know,” Jisung floundered, shrugging and avoiding eye contact in favor of looking at the wall above Changbin's head.
“Why?” she pressed, knowing that the more she pushed, the worse this would be for her as well. But she needed to know, needed to know if it could possibly be because–
Jisung's demeanor hardened to defiance—jaw pushing forward and a wrinkle forming between her brows.
“Forget about my why,” she argued, stubborn streak overtaking her embarrassment at having been caught out. “What about you? Why have you been getting weird about my clothes?”
The challenge on her face wasn't the gentle expression to coax a confession out of anyone, but Changbin found it as endearing as if she'd been sweetly cajoling.
Fuck. There wasn't really a way out of this. Any lie she could come up with would fall flat. Jisung was perceptive when she wanted to be, and Changbin knew she'd see right through her if she tried to make something up.
Moreover, she deserved the truth. Changbin did her best to protect her, yes. But she never lied if she could help it.
And at least she knew Jisung wasn't freaked out by her attention. If she even vaguely considered Changbin's interest and thought that the best course of action was to wear a pair of nearly-sheer underwear in front of her, Changbin didn't think her newfound bisexuality was going to make her uncomfortable.
“I…” she started, stomach swooping with nerves, “don't think I'm entirely straight.”
Despite what Jisung must have suspected, her face transformed into one of surprise. Maybe just the shock of hearing Changbin say it out loud so plainly.
“I-I'm–” Jisung started, seeming unsure of how to respond even though she was the one to demand an answer. “Thank you for telling me. Are you…okay?”
“I'm fine,” Changbin said on a weak laugh. Which was true. Mostly.
“I thought–” Jisung shook her head, embarrassed.
“What?” Changbin prompted, watching Jisung fortify herself to answer with a crack of her knuckles and a wince.
“I thought…maybe it was me, specifically,” she admitted quietly, cheeks darkening and gaze anywhere but Changbin's face. “That was stupid though. Just forget it.”
“It was,” Changbin confirmed before she could swallow the confession. “I haven't…felt anything for a girl before.”
Jisung's eyes found hers–wide with disbelief and a little wonder.
“Really?” she asked, like Changbin could have possibly lied about something like that.
She nodded.
“When did you…?”
Changbin sighed. They were really doing this, then. Best to just get everything out, answer all of Jisung's questions, and then they could work on getting back to normal.
“Remember that night at the bar with everyone? When you hooked up with that blonde girl?”
Jisung's brows jumped. “I didn't know anyone saw me.”
“I didn't…mean to,” Changbin told her, feeling her own face heat. “It just, like, unlocked a part of my brain or something.”
Jisung was still staring at her like she was telling her a particularly unbelievable fairytale.
“Fuck,” she marveled, fingers running through her shoulder-length hair and ruffling strands so they didn't lay flat. “That's crazy.”
“Bad crazy?” Changbin wondered, unable to keep the worry that she was actively ruining their friendship from creeping up her throat like bile.
“No!” Jisung was quick to assure her, stomping down the nausea Changbin had been feeling with the nerves stewing in her gut. “Just, like, crazy crazy. I mean, I had a crush on you when we first met, so, like…”
Jisung stopped, eyes widening at her own admission.
“I repressed it!” she added frantically, hands held out as if to stop an imaginary complaint from Changbin that definitely did not exist in reality. “It wasn't, like, weird or anything. After I found out you were straight. I stuck it with the impossible crushes I had on celebrities, you know? It wasn't a thing, or anything.”
Changbin was not concerned that it had been a thing—she was just trying to comprehend that Jisung had had a crush on her.
“When we met?” Changbin asked disbelievingly, thinking back to the party in college when she'd first been introduced to Jisung by Chan.
“You were in that pink halter top and those low-rise jeans,” Jisung recalled like the memory was right there in front of her. “And you were swaying your hips to the music, and it was like fuck, she's so hot, you know? But you were straight, so I tried to forget about it! I swear, our whole friendship wasn't me trying not to look at your tits.”
“But part of it was?” Changbin teased, feeling her lips pulling into an amused smirk.
She absolutely couldn't fathom that Jisung had been secretly attracted to her all this time, but she saw how flustered the confession made her, and she couldn't help but want to fluster her more.
“Oh my god,” Jisung whined, dropping her flushed face into her hands. “Stop acting like you don't know you're hot, okay? I've been so normal about it.”
“Until now,” Changbin couldn't help but add, and Jisung groaned.
“That's on you,” she insisted, and Changbin laughed—the unease she'd been wracked with trying to hide her feelings finally starting to abate.
They smiled at each other as the hum of the air conditioner kicked on until another tiny nip of worry settled in her stomach.
“What now?”
It was probably unfair to levy such an open-ended question at Jisung alone, especially when she wasn't wearing pants, but Changbin was too afraid that she'd misunderstood to offer up her own suggestions. Because with Jisung telling her that she'd been harboring a crush on her, at least to some extent, Changbin was starting to feel the creeping seed of hope start to sprout, and that was dangerous.
Unsurprisingly, Jisung's eyes widened like she was saying you're asking me? And unfortunately, Changbin was.
“I don't–” she started to protest before she stopped short. “Are you–are your new bisexual feelings or whatever just physical or…?”
Changbin's stomach swooped like she was on a dangerously unregulated carnival ride. This was the question she wanted to ask Jisung too. Is it just my boobs you like or is there more to it? It was also the question she'd been dreading having to answer. Because this felt more likely to gouge a hole in their friendship than some mutual attraction and lace underwear.
Changbin took a deep breath and answered truthfully. “No.”
Even when she'd have confidently called her relationship with Jisung platonic, there was no just about it. Jisung had always been special to her. Maybe her newfound feelings shouldn't have been such a surprise after all.
A sharp, little inhale preceded the oversized exhale Jisung let out, somewhere between looking at Changbin intently and avoiding her eyes completely.
“I'm okay with whatever you want,” Jisung said, eye contact wavering but intentional.
Changbin blinked. What did that mean?
“Sung…” she started, confused by her own instinct to tell Jisung to be careful what she agreed to. Obviously Changbin wasn't going to demand anything of her! And Jisung surely didn't mean to imply that she'd be okay with anything Changbin wanted…
“Have you kissed a girl before?” Jisung rushed to ask, ignoring Changbin's cautious attempt at clarification.
“Uh…in truth or dare and spin the bottle,” she answered, heart thundering like it had right before her first boyfriend had pecked her on the lips over algebra homework.
“If you want to see what it's like for real…” Jisung offered. “Or…anything else.”
Changbin must have looked shell-shocked because Jisung stomped her bare foot on the ground and lost the unsteady waver of her gaze in favor of the gleam she got in her eye when she was about to double down and die on whatever hill she'd found herself on.
“I'm serious,” she insisted imploringly. “I told you I had—have—a crush on you. You said you…like me.”
A touch of shyness snuck into her tone, but she continued anyway.
“If you want to pretend none of this ever happened, that's fine too, but I meant it when I said I'm okay with whatever you want. You're interested and I'm right here. Whatever you do or don't want to do about it is fine with me.”
That was an absolutely insane offer…even more insane when thinking about how Jisung was in only a pair of lace underwear and a very thin, very cropped t-shirt.
But she had to push past the throb of want that pulsed through her before she did or said anything rash.
“Does that mean you're also fine with something more than…” she hesitated, afraid to ask for more and also afraid to clarify the implication of less, “exploring my bisexuality in a physical manner?”
She wanted to smack herself in the face for the most awkward wording of all time until Jisung snorted out a laugh that broke the tension as abruptly as the crack of a gun.
“Are you asking me out?” Jisung wheedled, most of her hesitancy gone to make way for her usual bratty teasing.
“That depends,” Changbin countered, chest finally feeling loose enough for her to breathe easily at the same time a flock of pigeons (sans strings on their feet, of course) took flight in her belly. “If I was, would you be fine with it or…enthusiastic?”
“Look at what I'm wearing,” Jisung deadpanned. “What do you think?”
Changbin snorted, the deep breath she took afterwards siphoning more of the worry from her. Though a different tension curled in her gut at the reminder of all Jisung wasn't wearing, and the fact that it was for her.
“Do you think it's a little…quick, though?”
“I mean,” Jisung shrugged, cracking her toes against the linoleum floor, “I guess we can dance around each other for a few more weeks. I can think of more reasons to casually strip in the kitchen–”
“Alright, point taken,” she laughed, watching Jisung's lips curl up with satisfaction at Changbin's agreement. “I…would like to try this whole thing with you.”
“Whole thing?” Jisung prompted with a raise of her brows that seemed to say that she knew what Changbin meant but wanted her to say it.
“Dating,” Changbin confirmed, heart in her throat at the softening of Jisung's gaze. “Kissing…whatever else you are interested in trying.”
The flash in Jisung's eyes and the self-satisfied little smirk reminded Changbin of the way Jisung had looked at that girl in the club, and she felt the answering pulse between her thighs.
“I want to know what you are interested in trying,” Jisung told her, chest pushed out so her nipples poked through the material of her shirt. “I've been with women before. I want to know what you've been thinking about.”
Changbin had seen Jisung flip between self-conscious and cocky and back again more times than she could count. But with her expectantly dark stare and quirked lips aimed directly at her, Changbin felt Jisung's switch into confidence in the tremble of her knees and the pounding of her heart.
“A kiss would be good to start,” she requested and deflected all at once.
It was a pretty tame request, all things considered, but Jisung's eyes flashed all the same. Changbin's stomach flipped to have that determined and wanting gaze fixed on her.
Jisung's lips were soft when they pressed against hers, though slightly chapped because she was always forgetting to put on lip balm. It was a gentle kiss as Jisung's hand cupped her jaw, and she reached out to hold onto Jisung's waist in return. The warmth of Jisung's bare skin under her hands shocked her, having forgotten that Jisung was nearly naked in the kitchen with their lips moving together. But the touch just had Jisung humming into the kiss and making a spark of heat catch deep in her gut.
“Good?” Jisung asked when she pulled back, studying Changbin's face like she could read her thoughts displayed in the dip of her lashes or the shadow of her nose.
“Yeah,” she breathed, buzzing with the high of the kiss even though it had been brief and chaste. She could barely grasp that it had even happened. “But we should probably keep going to really solidify my bisexuality.”
Jisung snorted, the puff of warm breath from her laugh bouncing off Changbin's lips. “Totally how that works, obviously.”
Changbin nodded sagely before her smile broke free.
Jisung grinned back.
“Can't believe I really get to kiss you,” she marveled, leaning forward for another quick kiss to punctuate the sentiment. “If my twenty year old self could see me now.”
“You think she'd have any questions about your lack of clothes?” Changbin teased, enjoying the flash of Jisung's teeth and the heart shaped curve of her smile from up close.
“Absolutely zero,” she replied cheekily, wrapping her arms comfortably around Changbin's neck. “She'd probably think I should be wearing even less.”
Heat suffused her, and it must have shown in the reddening of her skin or the darkening of her eyes because Jisung smirked.
“You agree?”
“Maybe we should go to a bed?” Changbin suggested, fingers flexing on Jisung's bare sides.
Jisung's ears were pink, and her voice was throatier than before when she said, “yeah, let's go to your room.”
Changbin led the way, as though this wasn't their shared apartment and Jisung hadn't been in her room approximately five hundred times. But since it was their shared apartment, neither of them bothered shutting the door behind them.
“How do you want me?” Jisung asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed before scooting back so she was splayed in the center—elbows propping her up so she could keep her eyes on Changbin where she hovered at the edge of the mattress.
“I'm going insane,” Changbin confessed on a strangled chuckle. Jisung—with so little covering her—was on her bed, offering herself up. Even her guilty fantasies couldn't compare.
“We don't have to do anythi–”
“You're not pressuring me into this, trust me,” Changbin assured her, able to see the worry that had gripped Jisung before she even spoke. “I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.”
The worry abated from Jisung's face, replaced by hunger as she eyed Changbin where she was standing.
“Show me,” she breathed, and Changbin felt something in her snap as her want surged.
She blinked and she was over Jisung—knees on either side of Jisung's thighs and forearms braced by her shoulders. They were kissing again, this time open-mouthed and desperate as Changbin felt the heat of Jisung's body against her front even though she was still mostly holding herself above her.
Jisung wanted to know what she'd been thinking about, and with her shame and self-consciousness falling away, Changbin wanted to show her.
Breaking their kiss, she sat up enough that her hands were free to push underneath Jisung's thin shirt to cup her breasts in both her palms. The whiny gasp Jisung let out had Changbin feeling dizzy, eagerly rolling her nipples between her fingers and feeling the body-warmed metal of her piercings.
“Changbin,” Jisung whimpered, pushing her chest further into her hands, and the rush of arousal at having her so pliant and eager underneath her had Changbin barely swallowing down a moan.
“Can I take this off?” she asked, pinching the hem of the t-shirt.
Jisung nodded immediately, lifting her shoulders and then her head so Changbin could pull it off.
And then she was left in just her lace underwear with her rosy nipples peaked and her piercings glinting under the overhead light.
“Holy shit,” Changbin couldn't help from blurting out, underwear sticking to her with how turned on she was. And seeing the way Jisung shifted and rubbed her thighs together had her guessing that she was feeling similarly.
Before she could lose the confidence Jisung's eagerness had provided her with, she dipped down to press her lips to her ribs right where the edge of her tattoo was.
Jisung shuddered, and Changbin trailed her mouth further down her side—letting her tongue drag over her soft flesh in the pattern of the lettering inked into her skin.
The sheen of her saliva over the black lines and grey shading had her nearly wanting to pause and take a picture to memorialize her work, but the call of Jisung's nipples tore her focus away from her tattoo.
Clenching Changbin's hair so tightly it stung, Jisung keened at the first brush of her tongue against the pink peak of her nipple. Changbin wrapped her lips around it and sucked, moaning at the sob Jisung let out—her body writhing against the sheets.
“Changbin,” she whimpered again, voice curling around her name so deliciously.
Pulse roaring in her ears, Changbin slowly traced her fingers down Jisung's stomach to the elastic band of her underwear and finally to the lace between her thighs.
The material was soaked, and Changbin gasped sharply at the proof of how much Jisung wanted this—wanted her.
“Wait,” Jisung managed, voice strained.
Changbin immediately pulled back.
“No,” Jisung shook her head, gaze following her retreating hands with regret. “I just– let me get you off first.”
She shoved an elbow underneath her to partially prop herself up—chest flushed and eyes glassy.
“You haven't done this before,” Jisung said, brushing her hair back from her face. “I meant to show you the ropes. And, you know, welcome you to…women. Okay that sounds really stupid, but you know what I mean!”
Changbin knew her face must have been incredulous at the wording, if not the sentiment, and Jisung whined in annoyance and embarrassment, making like she was going to reach out to smack at her for her reaction.
“If you would prefer to, uh, go first? That's fine with me,” Changbin told her, tripping over her words. “And I appreciate the intention. But I'm also really, really okay with continuing how we were. You said to show you what I've been thinking about.”
“Fuck, Changbin,” Jisung cursed dropping back onto the mattress so her boobs bounced and her hair ended up splayed behind her head like some sort of elaborate headpiece.
“Is that a please continue?” she asked, watching the rise and fall of Jisung's belly with the desire to bite the soft swell just beneath her bellybutton.
“Yes,” Jisung confirmed, the edge of a whine in her voice. “But I would also not complain if you were a little less dressed.”
Changbin looked down at her t-shirt and sweatpants as though she'd never seen them before. With Jisung sprawled out and looking so delectable, she was barely aware she had a body at all, let alone what she was wearing. But with Jisung's pleading eyes on her as she shifted and squirmed on the bed, Changbin couldn't help the smirk as she easily crossed her arms in front of herself and pulled her t-shirt over her head.
Even though she just had an uninteresting sports bra underneath, Jisung still made a little choked sound at the exposure of her skin. The hungry attention was going to her head because she shoved her sweats down without hesitating, revealing an equally plain pair of white briefs, before wriggling her way out of her bra before she could overthink it.
“Fuck,” Jisung moaned, reaching out toward her chest with literal grabby hands as Changbin got her knee back on the bed. “Holy shit, you're so hot.”
Wearing a D-cup had its advantages and disadvantages, and while Changbin had had lovers who'd enjoyed her chest in the past, nothing had ever felt so good as having Jisung's awestruck expression, followed immediately by her eager hands, on her tits and she crawled back over her.
“If we're talking about what we've thought about, I've definitely thought about this,” Jisung confessed, kneading her breasts and then lifting her head to suck a nipple into her mouth.
Changbin couldn't stop the startled whimper that spilled from her lips as Jisung sucked against her flesh reverently.
Shivering, Changbin basked in the zaps of pleasure that emanated from where Jisung's lips were sealed around her, but she did her best to blink past the haziness of arousal that accompanied it. She wanted Jisung's mouth on her, but she wanted to get her mouth on Jisung even more.
Changbin sat back on her haunches, unfortunately dislodging Jisung from where she'd been attached to her chest, in order to slide her fingers beneath the elastic of Jisung's lace underwear.
“Can I?” she asked, watching Jisung's already dark eyes turn molten.
“Yes,” she breathed, gasping as Changbin hooked her fingers under the waistband and pulled them down her smooth thighs.
Jisung's pubic hair was nicely trimmed but visibly damp between her legs, and Changbin was shaken out of her appreciation of Jisung's body by the realization that she'd let out a moan at the sight of her.
“You're so wet,” she observed, probably pointlessly since Jisung was surely aware of that already, as she brushed her thumb over the wet curls.
Jisung whined, kicking her underwear off her ankle and letting her thighs fall open with no shame whatsoever. Maybe it was desperation or trust in Changbin. Possibly it was just pure confidence. But regardless of whether it was one or all three, it was the sexiest thing she'd ever seen.
“Do you have any idea how perfect you are?” she reverently blurted out as she climbed off the bed to settle on the floor at the edge of the mattress on her knees.
“Please,” Jisung whimpered in response, not really an answer but close enough.
She couldn't quite forget that she didn't exactly know what she was doing, but she knew her own body, at least, so the feel of Jisung's soft, slippery folds were familiar. Watching her own fingers, Changbin slid her touch through the wetness seeping from Jisung's opening up to her engorged clit. And with a wave of arousal, she felt the way Jisung rocked into the touch—a little, breathy hah leaving her lips.
Seeing Jisung's body flutter and clench as she painted circles around her clit, Changbin was transfixed. But she still couldn't let go of the idea of using her mouth. Part of her wondered if she was being too ambitious—trying too much too quickly with an overestimation of her untested skill that would prove embarrassing if she came up short. With the way Jisung cried out at even the barest touch, however, she thought that maybe her lack of experience could be overshadowed by their combined exuberance.
“Can I—?”
“Yes, inside,” Jisung pleaded, and Changbin froze at the unexpected but no less enticing request.
“I was gonna ask if I could eat you out,” she confessed, swallowing the nervous laugh as she watched a trickle of arousal shimmer against Jisung's skin.
“Oh fuck,” Jisung gasped, hips moving like she couldn't help it as she peered down her naked body at Changbin. “That's even worse.”
“Worse?”
“Better,” Jisung corrected impatiently. “I don't know. Worse for my sanity.”
Changbin snorted, probably unattractively, but Jisung just laughed, squirming on the mattress.
“Either thing is a yes,” she said, sucking in a sharp breath when Changbin's touch moved to her opening.
Suddenly, she needed to feel Jisung around her finger.
Carefully, she slid her middle finger inside of her—awed by the heat and the soft, slippery walls that immediately tightened around her.
“Oh,” Jisung breathed, rocking her hips to get her finger deeper inside.
Noting that her mouth was free and that she was just as eager to put it to use, Changbin bent down and gently pressed her lips in a featherlight kiss against Jisung's folds that had Jisung jerking and crying out like she'd been electrocuted.
“Oh god, I'm not gonna last,” she whined, and Changbin almost wanted to tease, but she wasn't confident in her own ability to hold it together considering the thump of her pulse between her legs already.
And she also had no desire to pull away to say anything, so she just hummed in response and laved her tongue daringly against Jisung's clit.
“Oh my god, Changbin!” she cried, one leg hooking over her shoulder to draw her closer—heel knocking against her shoulder blade.
Changbin wanted to keep hearing her name like that from Jisung's mouth for as long as she could. Now that she'd experienced Jisung like this—eager, pliant, drunk on pleasure—she couldn't imagine giving it up.
“Oh,” Jisung moaned, fingers tangling in Changbin's hair like she could have possibly wanted to pull away from the slick heat of her. “I'm close, I'm close.”
The grip of Jisung's body around her finger and the angle of her arm with Jisung pulling her head closer made it hard to keep thrusting into her, but the little rocking motions that she managed seemed to be enough as Jisung clenched around her and dug her heel even deeper into her back.
Changbin's scalp smarted a bit and her jaw was getting sore, tongue just beginning to tire, but nothing could have made her stop as the timbre of Jisung's moans lifted higher and higher.
In the pause before the dam broke, all of Jisung's sounds stopped—even her breathing. But then the silence was cut with a cry like she'd been maimed as she wildly undulated against Changbin's face and had Changbin moaning into her quivering flesh despite the sharp pain of her hair getting yanked in Jisung's frenzy.
It was the hottest thing she could even imagine, let alone be blessed enough to live through.
“Holy shit,” Jisung panted, belly moving up and down with her heaving breaths as Changbin rubbed at her scalp and rose from the floor to flop onto the bed beside her. “Are you sure you haven't done that before?”
“Positive,” Changbin confirmed, feeling puffed up at the praise and the proof of Jisung's pleasure painted across her skin in swaths of pink high on her cheeks, down her neck, and spilling onto her chest. Sweat glistened between her breasts and her nipples were peaked and rosy with lingering arousal.
Changbin's own body felt charged and sensitive, like one touch in the right place could set her off. Her underwear was stuck to her body and must have been thoroughly soaked through. But even with her pulse ringing in her ears and between her thighs, she was content in that moment to watch Jisung's hazy, dark eyes blink open to take her in.
Jisung reached out to pull Changbin into a kiss, her mouth cool compared to the heat of her cunt. Changbin groaned as Jisung eagerly lapped her own taste from Changbin's tongue.
“Was it okay?” Jisung asked when she pulled away, eyes searching hers and her hand gentle against her neck.
“You're asking me?” Changbin replied disbelievingly, huffing out a little laugh that Jisung met with a smile.
“Well, yeah,” she confirmed, fingers pushing into the fine hairs at the nape of Changbin's neck. “Obviously I enjoyed it.”
It sure had sounded that way, it was true.
“I liked it too,” Changbin confessed, somehow feeling more vulnerable in that than the reminder that she was nearly naked as her bare chest brushed against Jisung's. “You're so sexy.”
Jisung's already flushed cheeks pinkened even further. “You are,” she argued, and Changbin let herself get pulled back into a kiss instead of disagreeing.
It didn't take long for Jisung to have her on her back—mouth on her neck and hand kneading her breast.
“I really wanna eat you out too,” Jisung murmured into her skin, breath puffing hot against her. “That's, like, the sapphic main event. Unless you bring out a strap. But we can do that another time if you want? I just really wanna taste you.”
Jisung's tendency to ramble had always been endearing, but never had Changbin expected to be flattened by it. Which part of that was she even supposed to focus on? The part where Jisung wanted to eat her out? Or the image of Jisung writhing on the bed while Changbin fucked her? Or the other way around with Jisung in the harness and–
The tasting part. That was what she needed to focus on. For now.
“Yes please,” Changbin breathed, shivers kissing her skin at the pinch of Jisung's fingers around her nipple.
The shiny brown of Jisung's eyes flashed up to meet hers before she was mouthing her way down Changbin's body—laving the flat of her tongue over her nipple, sucking at the underside of her breast, kissing down her abdomen to bite at the flesh stretched over her hipbone.
Another look as Jisung hooked her fingers into the waistband of Changbin's underwear. She nodded, and Jisung slowly pulled them down with more patience than Changbin thought she possessed. Or maybe she was projecting.
All she knew was that by the time they were on the floor, she was aching for Jisung’s touch.
Parting Changbin's thighs with her warm palms, Jisung let out a whimper as she caught sight of Changbin's arousal.
“You're so wet,” Jisung moaned, cheek pressed to her thigh reverently as her thumb gently pulled her labia open so she could more clearly see just how flushed and swollen she must have been.
It was really a testament to how worked up she was that the attention to her pussy only had her throbbing and desperate—embarrassment so far from her mind as she arched toward Jisung's touch.
The thumb of Jisung's other hand smeared her wetness from her opening to her clit, and the moan that she let out at the contact felt obscene.
“Please,” Changbin begged, her body a vessel for her overwhelming need. Her pulse was thundering in her ears, and the only thing she could focus on was the light touch of Jisung holding her open.
She had opened her mouth to let out another plea when the softness of Jisung's lips sealed around her clit, tongue rubbing her gently. What came out of her mouth was a garbled whine that she nearly choked on as Jisung fluttered her tongue against her in a rhythm designed to drive her insane.
Changbin was absolutely not going to last.
Jisung's tongue was gentle and insistent against her—driving her up and up while keeping her steady enough not to fly off the cliff right away. Which she was grateful for, because for as much as coming for Jisung's mouth was all she could think about, she wasn't keen to embarrass herself with a complete lack of stamina their first time together.
Not that she could be blamed when Jisung looked like that—dark lashes fanned against her full cheeks and brows pinched like she was the one being driven crazy with pleasure—and her tongue was moving so perfectly against her like it was.
The little sounds of enjoyment she was making right up against Changbin's cunt were making everything worse. Better. Worse for her sanity. And then there was the way she was petting against Changbin's pubis like she was stroking a cat (the pun made itself) that was really about to rip all semblance of control away from her.
Her breathing picked up as the tight coil of pleasure did. And in response, Jisung's ministrations became just that much firmer and more intentional. It would be impossible to try to hold herself back from the edge when the whoosh of her pulse was all she could hear as the swell of orgasm rose beneath her skin until she could feel it in the back of her teeth.
“Jisung,” was all she managed before the wave of her release knocked her off the precipice and into freefall.
Everything in her body pounded and throbbed as she came and came and came against Jisung's perfect mouth. Somehow, over the sounds of her own whimpers and moans, the distinctly wet sound of Jisung's mouth against her reached her ears and made her burn. But no amount of self awareness could temper the final rise of pleasure that crested and had her shaking against the sweaty sheets.
Her breath was coming in ragged pants when Jisung kissed her slick lips back up Changbin's stomach, her breasts, her neck, and finally, a gentle press to the corner of her mouth. She could smell herself on Jisung, and some primal part of her rose up with a needy clench of her stomach even as her abs felt achy with how tightly she'd tensed them during her orgasm.
“Good?” Jisung asked, nose pressed to Changbin's jaw and her Changbin-scented breath wafting hotly against her skin.
“You have to ask?” she wheezed, body still searching for equilibrium after being so thoroughly wrung out.
Jisung's grin flashed in her periphery as she raised her head to peer down at Changbin's face.
“I can't believe I got to be the first girl to make you come,” she marveled, endearing in her excitement, though it didn't stop the twist of heat from flaring in Changbin's gut.
Still, she chuckled at Jisung's exuberance—melting at Jisung's heart shaped smile aimed at her with her warm weight pressed against her side.
“You'll be the last too,” she said before thinking, and she watched the worried confusion make way for disbelief.
She flushed, heart kicking nervously in her chest.
“Sorry,” Changbin backtracked, loosening her hold on Jisung's waist just enough that it hopefully didn't feel suffocating. “That was probably too intense.”
She'd always been one to fall hard, when she fell. And with Jisung's place in her heart growing bigger and bigger while she waited for the rest to snap into place, Changbin might have been a bit too far gone for someone who had only just confessed an hour ago.
Muscles tense, Changbin prepared herself to sit up and put a little space between them, but Jisung’s hold on her suddenly tightened—face turning to press into her neck.
“Fuck, I was kind of trying to play it cool earlier since you just figured all this stuff out,” she said, voice muffled into Changbin's skin. “But I've really just had a crush on you this whole time…and crush might be underselling it a bit?”
Pulse racing so fast it was making her head spin, Changbin moved her head to the side so she could look Jisung in the eyes.
Her cheeks were splotchy pink, her front teeth were pressed into her lower lip so hard it was turning white, and the whites around her eyes were starting to look a little pink too, like she was trying not to cry.
“I'm glad we're on the same page now, then,” she said honestly, the rush of feelings so strong that her chest felt tight. “I know I'm late, but with how important you are to me, you could never be only a crush.”
Their lips met, and Changbin brushed away the stray tear that slid gracefully down Jisung's cheek.
And then, before she could lean in again, Jisung’s wobbly lips stretched into a grin.
“All of this because I walked around the apartment in my underwear,” she boasted, cheeks bunching with the force of her self-satisfied smile.
“I wouldn't quite put it that way…” Changbin hedged with a chuckle, wondering how that simplification made her look.
“Or maybe it's because I flashed my tits at you when I spilled on my shirt?”
“Well–”
“Basically just because I'm so overwhelmingly sexy, if you want to put it plainly.”
“Jisung!”
They were both laughing when their lips met, Jisung's leg wrapping around Changbin's thighs like ivy.
“It's clearly because you're overwhelmingly sexy,” Changbin acquiesced after several more kisses, just to watch the triumphant grin bloom across Jisung’s face.
“Lucky for me, you are too.”
Changbin smiled into the kiss.
She wasn't going to argue with that.
---
Changbin leaned against the bar-height table, nursing her beer and half listening to Minho pick an argument with Chan just for the hell of it. He'd been even more of a menace since Chan seemed to have finally noticed his flirting for what it was and started…flirting back? Whatever they were doing was still in its infancy. But based on the fact that neither of them could stop smiling as they sniped at each other across the table, it seemed like it was going well.
“Oh my god, I didn't agree to watch this foreplay or whatever the fuck it is,” Hyunjin interrupted, smirk pulling at her lips as she watched delightedly as both of them flushed at the accusation.
Jeongin snorted at her side.
“What'd I miss?” Jisung asked, loudly depositing her own drink along with a refill for Jeongin on the tabletop.
“Nothing,” Chan quickly told her, smiling like his ears weren't as red as Minho's.
Hyunjin rolled her eyes fondly.
It had been a week since Changbin had come home to find Jisung in front of the fridge in lace underwear. Insane to think that, just a week ago, Jisung was just her roommate. Well, not just—never just with Jisung.
But now, Jisung was her girlfriend, and Changbin couldn't get over how incredible it was to come home from work and have Jisung walk right into her arms. And having Jisung's pouting lips to kiss first thing in the morning took the edge off the blare of her alarm.
As Jisung kept saying, they should have been doing this for years. But they were both way too happy to regret any potential wasted time.
Jisung had announced their relationship to their friends in the group chat along with an emoji of a hamster throwing confetti, and they'd been met with shock from Jeongin and Hyunjin, well wishes from Chan, and Minho rejoicing that Jeongin was now the only straight person in their friend group. But mostly, their friends had just been extremely supportive and pleased to see them both happy.
Which had led them to this celebratory gathering where they met at their usual bar, had their usual drinks, and Changbin could revel in the warmth of Jisung pressed against her side.
“Well, then,” Jisung exclaimed, taking her place back beside Changbin. “It's the perfect time for Jeonginnie to kiss me!”
Changbin felt a twist of jealousy in her gut even though she knew that Jisung wasn't serious. It was tradition for her to harass Jeongin at this point. She couldn't expect her to give up that joy just because they were dating.
Four pairs of eyes darted to look at her, wondering what her reaction would be to her new girlfriend begging for a kiss from someone else.
But before she could wave them off with a carefully constructed, easy-going smile, Jisung was speaking again.
“I know how desperately she wants to,” she said, hand on her chest in mock-sincerity. “But I'm sorry to announce that I'm no longer interested in receiving her overwhelming affections.”
“Hold on-” Jeongin started before being cut off.
“Because now my lips are for one person and one person only,” she announced grandly, gesturing to Changbin like she was announcing her arrival at a ball.
Four pairs of eyes swiveled back to her.
She knew her cheeks were getting red.
“This is the part where we kiss,” Jisung stage-whispered to her.
“Oh really?” Changbin teased, trying to swallow down the embarrassment at being the center of attention.
Fluttering her lashes, Jisung leaned toward her—puckering her lips dramatically. Changbin gave a good-natured roll of her eyes to hopefully offset her blush, and quickly pecked Jisung on the lips to a chorus of theatrical hoots from their friends.
Jisung almost looked shocked that she complied, a sweet pink blooming over the apples of her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose. Changbin's heart clutched with fondness.
Quickly shaking off her surprise, Jisung turned a grin on her audience.
“It's okay, Jeongin,” she cooed, reaching out to pinch her cheek and having her hand slapped away. “I know you must be so jealous. But it will get easier in time.”
Jeongin snorted, shaking her head at the audacity of Jisung's teasing before taking a sip of her drink.
“Hey Jeongin,” Hyunjin interjected, elbows on the table and chin cradled on her palm. “Now that Jisung is taken, how about you hit me with a kiss right here?”
She tapped her cheek and sent Jeongin—who was gaping in horror—a wink.
Jisung cackled, tipping into Changbin's side with her laughter so Changbin had a completely valid reason to wrap her arm protectively around her waist.
“Are you kidding me?” Jeongin wailed, palm to her forehead in such a dramatic way that it was obvious she was playing up her reactions. “You too?”
Changbin laughed. Surrounded by her friends and feeling Jisung's heat soak into her side, she couldn't think of a place she'd rather be.