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Dimensional travelling is a very fun thing, despite most of the boozers in this family acting like it’s the worst thing ever. Since they confirmed Red Hood’s young alternative self, with his boyish yet deep voice resonating his surprise through their connected server, and currently, being dissected under the sharp gaze of a waayyy older Damian than she expected, Steph has been kind of excited or nervous-excited to meet her dimensional counterpart.
Would she be tall? Or would she be older than most? Would she still affiliate with this messy group of overdue-for-therapy people in this world?
Steph gasped as a horrifying thought presented itself.
Would she still be blonde? Not that being a brunette or raven is bad, she would be the hottest baddie out of there, no matter what. But being blond is like her color, her brand. Does that make sense?
Even if her hair color is physical evidence of what kind of dipshit she was connected to, Steph still wouldn’t change anything that she loves about herself if she could help it. She doesn’t want to make everything about him.
Ugh, she’s thinking too much; Steph hates dipping her toes in this headspace. Old Damian is messing with her head, with those intense and hawk-like eyes that have been counting everyone for the nth time. Like, seriously, dude, take a blink.
Maybe this is how most goons feel under Batman’s glare: a spiralling life crisis until they sob and beg Batman to let them go back home with their wife and children.
Steph let her weary head fall on Cass’s shoulder, gaining a little comfort from hiding her face on her Batgirl’s neck, maybe sneak a little sniff at the Kevlar leather suit. Oooh, she smells some fries on here.
“Wait, he?” Dick spoke, surprise packed in his voice. “Who is Oracle in this universe?”
The gruffy Damian frowns and replies, “And why exactly should I tell you?”
Yikes, that’s a Batman Damian to you. Maybe he’s a Batman in this world. The guy got everything carbon-copy except crossing his arms over his chest.
And Dick is obviously going to look like a kicked puppy. Of course he will. Steph doesn’t even have to raise her head to look. That’s a shocker, deadly combo from seeing a version of Damian that goes back to being, kind of, hostile to Dick again. Maybe she kind of feels like kicking the eldest in the calves like a comforting gesture, but that means Steph has to leave Cass’s warmth to walk over Tim, and risk tripping over the floor because Tim is a piece of shit. So no thanks, Dick can have her imaginative pats on the head, and if he’s the chosen one, he would feel how Steph is imagining petting his luscious model hair slowly, slowly…
The elegantly grumpy Damian finally broke his gaze away to focus on the small Red Hood-but-not-Red Hood but– Fine, Jason. Small Jason gets the name privilege, not the edgelord guy over there. That’s what you get for liking the filtered air in your ugly helmet rather than real, authentic air.
When she heard Tim start yapping about something, she turned her face into Cass’s shoulder again, content with sniffing the residue fries smell and not paying attention to the world right now.
“Cass, why did you get fries without me?” Steph mumbled, half-whining into the leather. She feels the rumbling chuckle on Cass’s shoulder.
“You didn’t ask.”
“But I was breaking up those girls' drunk fight…I was this close to getting stabbed by those pink murder nails, you know?”
Cass chuckled again when she felt Steph’s pout. “I got you a bag, too. Tajun flavor.”
“You really are my knight in armor, Batgirl.” Steph expresses her happiness by rubbing her cheeks over her friend's shoulder pad. And Cass retaliates by tilting her head over Steph’s crown.
Her Batgirl really is the best.
Steph saw some motion at the corner of her eyes, so she raised her head to assess the current situation. Everyone seems tense, specifically the old Damian and small Jason. Steph follows their sad gazes to…Red Hood. Out of the helmet. Dammit, now she has to give Red Hood's real name back. Never doubt it to let Jason settle for peace in a naming rights dispute.
“That happened here, too, huh? Which one of you was it?" Ugly Jason smirks, reeks of a bully vibe.
Steph internally sighs; she was dreaming about the world of fries and tajun and cheese with Cass for a second. What is even going on right now.
She was about to bother Tim for a summary before she heard a familiar voice.
"It was me."
Stepping out of the cave entrance was. Steph. In a half-zipped red hoodie with the hood covering her head, and the sickest dark leather jacket over the hoodie, and leggings with thigh straps and heavy combat boots and tall and– Oh my goodness, cool Stephanie is so cool.
Cool Stephanie got a bully smirk just like Jason, but she seems way cooler than ugly Jason.
Cool Stephanie is so fashionable, and cool.
“Hi.” Alternate Tim, from behind the cool Stephanie, waves. He dons a varsity jacket, a crew neck, and a thick goggle hangs around his neck. "I brought backup. And popcorn."
“Oracle. Knight. Red Hood.” Elder Damian greets, nodding his head to each person.
Wait. Oracle?
Based on the directions of the graceful and relaxed but-booo-oldie Damian nods, that would be–
Oracle?!
Dick’s neck cracked due to how fast he turned to look at Tim. "Timmy. You're Oracle?"
“Am I Oracle?” Tim gaped with shock and awe.
“Shut up…” Steph murmurs with shock.
"I don't think we're on a nickname basis yet,” Goggle Tim scrunches his nose, “But yes. Who else would I be?"
The way all of them collectively snapped their heads to stare at Alternate Tim made the guy jump and slightly back away. They must have seemed really creepy and weird right now, but Steph doesn’t give a fuck because. Holy guacamole. That. Is. Oracle.
The small and cute Jason glances at the staring contest between his second-oldest brother and the lots of creepy people, and attempts to direct their attentions away.
“O-Oh, so he doesn't get any shit for the Greek mythology name–”
“Shut up,” Tim spoke, not at shouting level, but the way he hardened his voice had small Jason cut off. “Everyone shut up right now I am Oracle.”
Goggle Tim gestured at himself with an offended face. “Excuse me, you’re not–”
“I AM ORACLE!!!”
Tim screams and jumps off the ground. And in a surge of hidden super power boosted by the dopamine coursing through his body, Tim raw dog broke off the cuff around his wrist under the concerned gaze of the alternative bat siblings.
“Tim!” Dick stood up and pushed Tim down from the air. It would seem like Dick was trying to preserve their family dignity by stopping his brother from doing anything stupid, yet his grip clutched desperately on Tim’s shoulder.
“I know you have potential but holy fuck how did you become Oracle.”
Tim responds, “I AM ORACLE!” with a glorious red face and a popping vein on his neck, and doesn’t give a shit about Dick.
Steph swerves Tim out of the eldest brother's grab and shouts into his face, “Tim holy shit, you’re Oracle!!”
“I AM ORACLE!”
Jason, equipped with the wisdom of someone older than Steph and Tim for about 3 years, stomped his feet angrily over just to say
“No fucking way you’re Oracle, Replacement. It should have been me!”
“But are you Oracle? Because it seems like I am Oracle. Bitch.”
Dick and Steph hiss. There’s no coming back from that. They join Tim to holler and cheer over Jason crumble defeat instead.
The alternative siblings look at them, bunch with really, really concerned gazes as if this moment had proven to them that these people are unstable and whacked in the head. They do not understand how this moment deserves to be carved down into history.
“What the hell is going on with you guys?” Cool Steph grunted her voice to cut through the annoying cheers of Oracle, Oracle, Oracle.
“Can we jar them instead?” Small Jason asks. “I feel like we would make big bucks tonight.”
“Wait!” Dick separates himself from tossing Tim into the air and lets his brother crash onto the floor instead.
“Can you do the Oracle thing and say Oracle stuff?”
The eldest now bears the brunt of all the judgmental gazes, yet he seems too pink cheeks and awe-twinkling eyes to flinch over the harsh stares.
“Do the what and say what, now?” Goggle Tim grimaces.
Tim sprang up like a coil spring, not at all bothered by the aches in his back. “You know, like, 3 cubes of sugar in a freshly brewed cup of Robusta, then stir exactly 12 times to get equilibrium of gentle bitterness then—”
“YOU’RE WRONG,” screams one of the mature adults. Dick aggressively jabbed his finger at Tim. “She likes her coffee with Arabica beans and creamer!”
“No, you’re wrong! I made her that cup every time, and SHE SMILES AT ME!”
“She smiles and says ‘Thank you’ to me! She likes my coffee better!!”
“No you delusional dick—”
Steph steps up before the two embarrassing idiots, coughing lightly to gather the male Oracle's very disgusted-concerned eyes (like the rest of his bats) to her attention.
“What we meant was, how do you settle in before your work?”
“A-As Oracle? Uh…” Goggle Tim minutely glance at the Batcomputer before looking back at Steph. “Just, sit down, and a coffee, I guess?”
“Timothy-”
“This doesn’t prove anything-”
Steph cut off the grown-up Damian and her Jason’s blabbing with eagerness in her voice.
“Can you like go and sit like how you would as Oracle?”
“Just…sit? Like how I would before our patrol?”
“Yes, yes, yes. Anything.” She throws her head up and down.
Goggle Tim shrugs and is about to move, before cool Stephanie grabs onto his forearm and stops him.
“Tim, you can’t be serious. You’re going to lap up her orders just because she wore the same face as me? They might have been planning something.”
Steph immediately flinched as if she finally remembered the situation and where all of them are situated. So she quickly flails her arms to deny, “No, no! I wasn’t trying to–”
“One of you guys just broke off your cuff unprompted. You’re lucky that I haven’t shot a warning bullet at him.”
Big bro Damian sighs; his frown deepens with weariness. Yet before he can say anything, alternate Cass (wow, she’s so cute in that pleated skirt) reaches over to place her hand over Stephanie’s grip.
“It’s alright, Steph. I don’t think they’re dangerous. At least for now.”
Cass being able to see something that most people couldn’t seems to be multiversal, because the alternate people seem to relax (a little) right after her observation. Tim, probably the dumbest idiot (or secretly a Floridian), slid in front of Steph and held his wrists up.
“My actions have been hasty, and your worries are understandable. If it helps, you guys can cuff me again. But please, pleeeasseee let me see how Oracle sits on that chair. Just this once, I swear…”
Steph had to step away, because no doubt that Tim is using his begging puppy eyes. She would have joined him because she too wants to see how similar their Oracle and this world’s Oracle is, but Tim is kinda extra.
She looked to her side where there was a hand holding her shoulder, and saw Jason slowly shake his head, disappointedly, with a telepathic message as “we can’t let him act like that, man”.
A Tim’s voice groans with annoyance, “Fine, fine! Just stop looking like that, gosh.” Then he quick-walks to the Batcomputer while the alternative girls laugh.
Goggle Tim threw himself on the cushioned recliner, turned his body sideways with the keyboard, while his upper body were twist to directly face the screen.
“Is this what you creepers want to see?” He twists his body to look at them.
Tim falls on his knees.
On lawd, don’t that guy sit exactly how Babs prefers as her comfort posture.
“He did the pose, he did the pose!” Dick was trembling with amazement, pointing at Goggle Tim as if he were an exhibit.
Jason preened for a bit, but he quickly grabbed his cool back and huffed, “It’s just a posture, it doesn’t mean anything.”
Steph quickly whispers to them, “Do you guys think we can ask him to do some pose then take a picture and show them to Oracle later?”
All of them are deliberately ignoring Tim's ugly sniffles and worshipping the floor.
“I believe that’s quite enough,” said the amused senior Damian. She’s giving him too many nicknames.
“We should figure out how to escort all of you back home. There could be some dire consequences due to your sudden displacement. And I don’t think your youngest are quite comfortable in this space.”
They finally pay attention to their youngest member, scowling and evidently putting distance between his tiny body and Cass.
“Continue neglecting my presence with Cassandra, why don’t you?” Damian pouted.
“Ahaha, sorry Dami,” Dick gives an apologetic smile at the boy, then he turns to Jason, who was about to complain about some bullshit, again.
“Behave.” Dick stares Jason down with his hands on his hips, even with the height difference. “And pick Tim up from the floor, he’s making us look bad.”
Jason ticked his tongue, then stared back at Dick with the most exaggerated scorn ever, which Dick was the embodiment of ‘never back down never what’ and stood his ground.
Jason relents because he’s weak like that, grumbling while walking over Tim’s side and hoisting him up by the armpits.
Dick looks over all of them and nods to himself as he turns his attention to ancient Damian.
“Do you have suggestions?”
Grown-up Damian had a surprised yet amused expression while watching Dick handling their troublemaker, which he schooled back to neutral before Dick could see it.
“Since this is a dimensional displacement problem, I would assume you all are here because of magic. We could contact the League’s magic users for help.”
“You mean Zatanna?” Small Jason spoke. “But she was always barhopping out there, and she never talked to anyone except Bruce.”
“If she associates with the Justice League, then it’s no problem.”
Small Jason tilts his head, “How?”
Somebody clicked their tongue playfully, which came from Goggle Tim.
“Hey, Ares, you think who convinced her to talk to Batman?” He smirks, pulling the goggles over his eyes. “I’m Oracle, I know everybody.”
There are collective thuds and gasps; even Cass has stood up so quickly she basically flies.
“He said the thing he said the thing hesaidthething–” Tim choked. Even Jason, who usually is so constipated with expressing his real emotions, couldn’t help but sob and place a hand over his mouth. Tim expressed his emotion by shaking the crimelord’s body so fast that they basically vibrated in a blur.
There’s a high-pitched squeal that's been dragging on like a shriek; yeah, that’s Steph sorry for the ear torture.
Dick stays gaping with his mouth, looking at them, then looks back at this world Oracle, switching between as if he still couldn’t believe his eyes and ears.
Cass surged forward to hold onto Tim’s shoulder, either to ground the maniac from shaking Jason up so much that he got brain damage, or to pull his attention.
Cass stares into Tim’s eyes, through every corneas and iris and pupils and lens.
“That’s my mom.” She said.
Tim froze, Steph froze. They meet each other's eyes. There’s only one course of action that is correct.
“Marry me, Oracle!”
“Adopt me, mommy!”
“Okay what the fuck?” Steph objects.
They snarl at each other.
“I thought we got an understanding, Timmy. Oracle is the most confident, strongest and the baddest bitch that needs no man, ever!”
“But what about Cass. Are you gonna let her be dad-less? You can’t do that to her!”
“That’s why I’m getting adopted. It’s the most logical choice!”
“You don’t know anything about Cass’s happiness!”
“And you do?! You brick for brain little–”
“No!” Timmy shouts, well, not her Timmy, but the other, older, hotter Timmy. “No, I’m not anyone’s partner, anyone’s mom, and no one is getting adopted. Period.”
“Gasp. Oracle, how could you! Are you denying our little girl?!” Tim dabbing his (fake) tears-stricken face, then holding his sister out like a baby.
Cass joins in, “Mom?” wearing her best, and very convincing, pitiful, big eyes that tug at everyone's heartstrings. Steph wants to give her all the candies in the world if possible.
“Yeah, Timmy. Are you gonna be a neglectful mother?” Sexy Goth Stephanie calls from the other side.
“I already said I’m not!”
Their family starts to roar up with speculation and suggestions on how Goggle Tim should be a mom. Small Jason expresses his surprise that their Tim would let the other universe’s people push him around like this, adding that pretty girl Cass snickers as she comments that the oracle wouldn’t know how to pick up a baby.
Steph’s world group of bats stays pretty quiet since their current interest isn’t paying attention to them anymore.
“Replacement. You gay?” Jason asks.
“Uh, no, obviously. But that’s Oracle man. I’m not dumb enough not to.”
“Ahhh.”
“I’m a guy, I’m a man. I can’t be a mom!” Goggle Tim is still heatedly debating with his family.
“Unless their biological evolution is different and even a guy can get pregnant?” Alternative Damian thoughtfully commented.
Goggle Tim snatched his head at them, seemingly horrified even under those thick glasses.
“Oh, no, that uh that ‘mom’ thing was pretty complicated. But our Oracle is biologically female,” Dick steps up to answer and to stop someone from going into a parenthood crisis.
“Is it somebody we knew?” Pretty Cass raises her hand.
“Do you guys have anyone in the family named Gordon?”
Now that Steph pays more attention, she saw the pattern in the alternative bat siblings. It seems like their age orders got reversed, evident with how Damian is the oldest, so that would mean Dick going to be the youngest. Would that make Babs younger than Dick or would she stay the same age as Batman in this world?
“Gordon? Do you mean the newly appointed detective at GCPD? Jim…Gordon?” Small Jason answers.
Oh, so it seems like their commissioner got aged down. Is Babs his mom, since, you know, the whole reversible order?
Dick seems to reach the same conclusion as Steph, as he said, “Close, but not him. You guys don’t know Oracle’s real identity? Tim- Oracle, you must have known right? Since the first Oracle passed the mantle down to you?”
“The first?” Alternate Oracle quipped with confusion. “As far as I know, I’m the first and the only Oracle in this world.”
Jason frowned with surprise. “The only?”
“Yup.”
“What is Babs doing then?” Steph raises her voice.
“We don't know any ‘Babs’ in our circle.”
That sure stunned the whole group of bats. This is impossible, the most beautiful, smartest, tenacious, with the most wonderful cherry blossom fragrance inside the Clocktower, isn’t a part of the Bats?
Then who is going to be Steph’s first bi-disaster crisis??
Sexy Stephanie, who is your gay awakening?!
“ ‘Babs’… that also stands for Barbara, right?” Small Jason said after pondering for a while.
“Barbara? Dickie’s little date?”
Steph’s counterpart raises her eyebrow.
“What?” / “What?”
Both big brothers of both worlds echoed, but one sounded thunderous and scary while the other just puzzled.
Right at that moment, ‘Dickie’ appears.
“Gee whiz, thanks for picking me up at school today guys!”
All attention now focuses on their new presence, which made the little guy spooked.
“Uh, what the fuck?” Mini Dick (heh) spluttered.
“Jar- you know what, who gives a damn anymore.”
“Jar.” Pretty Cass scolds the small Jason.
“Why me?! What about them?”
“Hellooo. Can I get a summary here?”
While the alternative bats gave their attention to craft the craftiest summarization about how awesome and badass their reversible counterparts (although, from what Steph managed to hear, she thinks somebody said Tim should get a sanity evaluation) are, Dick gathered the others around to whisper.
“Guys, so I have a thought.”
“Who let this dick be the lead?” Jason scoffs, but also whispers.
“Excluded me from this discussion immediately. I do not wish to be disgraced with you fools.” Damian tries to push away, but he gets pinned by Jason and Tim’s arms to huddle close.
“Because I must share my very important thought, Jason. And Damian, everyone loves Oracle; there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I know you just want to proclaim your love, just like us. Now–”
“Huh?? What utter bullshit are you spouting–”
“Shh. Now. We all heard how alternative Steph said Babs was my younger counterpart’s little date?”
Some of them gruffly confirm (only Damian). “Mini Dick.” Steph nods. Everyone nods with her (excluded Damian).
Dick threw a look at her, but rolled his eyes away.
“Yeah, so, if ‘me’ am young in this world, and apparently, probably, me and Barbara are of the same age. Then…” he arches his eyebrows, “you know what I’m saying?”
Tim gave his eldest brother a deadpan look. “Dude, first of all, you made a grammar mistake–”
“Don’t you ‘dude’ me, Timmy,” the older brother hisses, but Tim goes on.
“ -second of all, nobody understands what you’re trying to say. Am I right lads, or am I right lads?”
Steph, Cass, and Damian gave a thoughtful affirmation that supports Tim’s statement. But Jason, being a betrayer, decides to back it up with Dick.
“Do you mean Barbara could also be young in this world?”
“Yes! Oh, Jay, leme give you a smooch on the head.”
He got slapped, get woeful and sad, before recovering quickly and continuing.
“Yeah, um, you guys know how protective Babs is with her childhood albums. She always said, ‘my braces were ugly’ or ‘I got terrible haircuts’ or ‘if you can get past my dad, then sure, take a look’. Anyway, what I mean is, Babs is totally an angel as a child. And this way, we don’t have to fistfight or break into the Commissioner's house just to steal his locket.”
Steph had almost lost the eldest’s words for a moment there because damn, the dude was rambling. Then she actually tries to process what he said and finally understands.
Babs with chubby cheeks and braces, and being the mini version of the most beautiful person in this world.
“I call dibs.” Jason ran.
“Oh FUCK no.”
Dick threw himself forward to slow Jason down with his body weight.
“Considering my relationship with her, I should be the one to ask for her pics. No! What I was trying to say was, we need to unite and be civilized about this!”
“Fuck you! Don’t even try to cover your real thoughts, dickwad! Also, she broke up with you. You’re nothing to her!”
“But–”
“I’m the one qualified to go ask, because she cares about me. She wouldn’t mind if I got a little look, because I’m her brother, unlike you!”
“If that's so, then I’m her kid!” Tim jumps in to pull Jason’s arm back, “She talks to me, she gives me praises, she teaches me stuff, and my alt self’s status as Oracle is proof already. I should be the one to go ask!”
“Everyone, step down. Now.” Cass tears them apart from behind, throwing Dick, Tim, and Jason away from her path. “I’m her daughter, yet she never let me see the albums.”
Steph clutches her cape. She plans to join the fight too, but seeing how Cass effortlessly throws Jason’s big build of weight to the side, maybe Steph can stay out.
And Jason. Jason. He just doesn’t quit. He grabs onto Cass's ankle.
“Hey, Batgirl. I know you hate me, I know we are not in any truce or anything, and you would rather beat me up and make me stay away from your presence. But,” Jason grits with his bully smirk again, “I would rather die again than not see mini Barbie.”
He pulls, and Cass actually stumbles to the ground, due to her weight being less than his. But Cass isn’t one to be stunned so easily. She throws a punch. Jason also throws a punch and tries to hook. Tim got a kick. Dick is just throwing himself in the middle to stop everyone from fighting.
Ah, what a lovely family reunion.
“See what you’re missing out on, Damian?”
The boy grimaces. “No thanks.”
Suddenly, Jason disappeared. Which Cass’s hook accidentally hit Tim and knocked him out. Then Dick disappeared. Then Cass. Then Tim. Then–
“Oh shit.” Steph saw the white light flying towards her direction, so she quickly said everything she had on her mind before it was her time.
“StephyouarethesexiestkeepslayingqueenandyallbettertreatBabslikeagoddessorI’mcomingforyourass–”
Light engulfed her vision as she dazed away.
--
There was left only a small teenager in his pajamas, standing awkwardly in the unfamiliar yet familiar Batcave. He wishes whatever light has evaporated from his group of imbeciles would be faster.
His mother also taught him about manners, and everything that has happened tonight has made him awfully ashamed. He supposed he’s the only one who cares for their reputation as much as his.
“I offer my sincerest apologies for this group of simpletons. They meant no harm, I assume, and I will make sure to deliver them each an acceptable punishment for tonight’s dishonour.”
The moment bright light engulfed his vision, Damian cheered so loud it echoed through the whole cave.
--
“What was all of that?” Damian, the oldest, of course, inquires.
“They seem pretty cool.” Richard snickers.
“Of course you like them. You weren't even here for 90% of it.” Jason, on the side, rolled his eyes as he commented, and Dick huffed and stuck his tongue at him.
Cass, on the other hand, frowns with her thoughts. The way they fight and punch against each other, despite how close-knit they’ve looked ever since the start. They’re close, but also not close?
“Do they not…like each other?”
“They seem pretty close to me.” Jason tilted his head.
Damian shares his thoughts, “Yeah, it seems complicated. But I think they’re a family as well.” And Cass gave a smile back to him.