Chapter Text
Living with the New Avengers was the most difficult task that you had encountered in your life. Sure, you had defeated your fair share of villains, but living with roommates was arguably the worst experience of your life. Not just any roommates, these roommates specifically. All of you had tried to establish a chore chart, but after Walker’s week of hell, it was a collective decision to abandon that. You had no idea how that man had survived life to this point, since he somehow made chloroform to clean the communal kitchen and knocked out every member of the team, you had decided that he was never to be allowed near bleach or rubbing alcohol again. If cleaning the base didn’t stress you out enough, the bass on Alexei’s speakers that played nearly 24/7, or the constant lack of personal space from working and living together was going to drive you mad. But cleaning, noise, or personal space weren’t the issues that worried you the most. The worst issue was Bob.
You had hoped that after living with the team that you would be able to shove any emotional feelings for Bob deep, deep down. It hadn’t worked. Instead, you spent everyday attempting to hide any upturn of your lips and softness for the man as the feeling in your chest continued to grow. It only grew worse with every single interaction. From sitting next to him in meetings to watching him quietly hum to himself while he washed the dishes. Alright, so maybe you watched him a lot, but that wasn’t your fault! It had to have been Bob’s fault with his dumb stupid hair, and dumb stupid smile, and dumb stupid laugh, and dumb stupid abs that you would have never expected on him–
Woah. You were getting ahead of yourself. The blush began to creep higher on your cheeks as you tried to will yourself to focus on the moment.
“Okay, who's sitting out of the mission tonight?” Yelena’s voice pulled you back to the present.
“None of you look at me, I’ve done it so many times it’s not even fair,” Alexei said.
“Who’s turn is it anyway?” Walker turned to look at the chart in the meeting room.
“No, no way, you didn’t like the chart so don’t go looking for it to save you now,” you laughed.
“Actually,” Walker’s tone increased in pitch, elevating the level of cockiness to him. “It’s your turn.”
“My turn?” You clarified, fear beginning to pull at you.
You wanted nothing more than to get out tonight, the heat of your blush was beginning to go to your head, and the idea of sitting with Bob tonight was not going to cure it.
“Yep, your turn,” Walker solidified and turned back to Yelena. “Do we want to wheels up at 0800?”
“Oh my God we get it you were in the military John, get a hobby,” Ava spat as she began to stand.
As she stood, it cued everyone else to stand, as you were left reeling. Panic began to set in as you realized you couldn’t be left alone with Bob today, your heart might explode in an ungraceful love confession at this rate.
“Wait, wait, wait, I can’t stay behind this time guys.” You said as you tried to stop everyone from leaving the table.
“It’s your turn,” Walker said.
“Okay, so it’s my turn because the chart said so, but if the chart said it was your turn you would fight it, how is that fair?” You pushed.
“Because it is convenient for him now, it’s no big deal, we each take turns staying home with Bob,” Yelena pushed back, as everyone left the room, except for you.
“Guys, c’mon,” you groaned and turned your back to face the wall, only to see the face of Bob staring back at you. There was a softness in his eyes despite the childish display you just put on.
He cleared his throat and looked down, “sorry you got stuck with me.”
“I didn’t get stuck with you, I just didn’t–” you started, quick to stop yourself. Shit, this was going to go poorly.
“It’s fine, I’m used to it. Well not used to my powers, which is why you’re stuck here, but I mean, used to being left behind.” The small smile that graced his lips made everything worse.
“You’re not left behind, it’s just not safe for you until you know what you’re doing, which is why we probably shouldn’t let Walker anywhere out of the house.” You laughed softly to yourself. “I just wanted to go today, that's all.”
You were lying through the skin of your teeth and you were hoping that the seemingly every permanent blush on your face wasn’t going to give you away.
“So, since we have a few hours to ourselves, do you want to make dinner or something?”
“Sure!” Bob bounced up, seemingly recovered from your persistence to leave earlier and bounded over to the kitchen.
If you were never letting Walker in the kitchen again, you weren’t going to let Bob near it again with a ten foot pole. You had never encountered someone who truly could not find anything or do anything in the kitchen. At every step, you guided his lost eyes to where he needed them and while the love of him was rising in your chest, you could feel the energy beginning to shift around him.
“Hey, it’s no big deal, why don’t you just taste test for me and you can help me clean up after we’re done?” You asked.
“I just want to be useful,” Bob said.
The tremble of Bob’s lower lip made you reach for him, the worst idea you had in a while. Your fingers lightly brushed against his hairline as tucked the ever persistent piece behind his ear.
“I think you’re useful, just maybe not at cooking,” you replied.
Bob’s hand covered your wrist and suddenly everything went dark as you relived the very worst moments of your life.
___
When you finally came to, the smell of burning food overpowered your sense as you gasped for breath over and over. The tears that pricked the edge of your eyes overflowed as you pushed yourself to sit up. The panic in your body began to rescind but the pain from falling to the floor seemed to dull any other sensation or cohesive thought. As you tried to reorganize your thoughts, and catch your breath, the only thought that came to your mind was Bob. He was here when you fell and now he’s gone. The panic refilled your lungs again, although it wasn’t about you anymore, it was entirely for Bob. Every fiber of muscle pushed you forward as you searched for his figure around the kitchen. Seemingly absent from the kitchen, you pulled the food of the burner worrying about turning the stove off later, as your feet began to run to the hallway of shared rooms. Your voice carried his name over and over as you prayed that you were going to be able to find him before the Void took over. You cursed yourself, feeling entirely at fault since it was your inability to come to terms with care for another person that put him in this mess. As you approached the hallway, the level of destruction increased. Overturned furniture, picture frames torn off the wall, and blocking the path, crowded you as you pushed through the mess to find him.
You heard him before you saw him. Loud sobs coming from behind the door to his room, only halfway on its hinges. Slowing, you peek through the door to see him. Balled against the furthest corner of his room, with hands pressed over his ears, gasping for air just as you were only moments ago. You were so focused on him you couldn’t tell if your breathing was still ragged.
“Bob?” You asked softly, praying the human part of him was still winning the fight.
He didn’t respond to you as you pushed through his room. The broken wood and glass fragments crunched under your shoes as you stepped closer to him. The darkness pulled away any of the light near him or of the setting sun in the window, covering the edges of his arms. You crouched down, and sat next to him.
“I’m going to touch you okay?” You asked as you reached to rub his back.
“No!” He pulled away, “you can’t, it’ll happen again.”
“I don’t think it will, it’s okay, I’m just going to rub your back.” You lightly placed your hand on his back, and began to rub small circles on his upper back.
Bob began to speak again, but stuttered over his words as the sob racked through his body.
“Hey, it’s fine, take a deep breath, I can’t help you if I don’t know what's wrong.” You leaned closer to him as looked up to you.
Bob’s eyes scanned the room, he seemed so afraid. “What does it matter, you don’t care.”
“Of course, I care,” your hand fell off his back. “I care about you a lot.”
“You wanted to leave,” he said, quoting the moment from earlier and part of your heart ached.
“I did,” you agreed.
There was no point in denying the moment, but you weren’t quite sure how to vocalize why that would make sense.
“I don’t–” you began only for Bob to interrupt you.
“I don’t even know what I was thinking, rigging that stupid chart like they all suggested to get you to talk to me, why would you even want to talk to me?” He fully turned away from you in that moment.
The irony of the moment made you laugh.
“See now you’re laughing at me and –” He started.
“No, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at how bad we are at…this.” You gestured to the invisible this, and noticed Bob’s breathing, while still quick, seemed to had slowed down enough for conversation. In a moment of bravery, you pulled Bob’s face back to look at you.
From this distance you could see the details in his eyes. The brightness that pulled into them as his powers grew in intensity was overwhelming. The eye contact was going to kill you as if you didn’t already want to crawl into a hole and die. Your communication skills were going to shit the longer you looked at him. The constant blush that accompanied your face when you were near him seemed to worsen, as you hoped the tightness in your chest was from the fear of sharing your feelings over another run in the Void.
“I wanted to leave because I’m afraid of talking to you,” you started.
The hurt that flashed across his face in that moment seemed to make everything worse for a moment. “Shit, not like that, not in the ‘I think you’re scary’ or ‘I don’t like you’ kinda way, but in the ‘I like you a lot and I’m afraid of real feelings’ kinda way.”
Still getting no response from Bob you kept going, “I had hoped that if I kept avoiding talking about it that it would get better. But everything you do makes me feel whole and like there's this warmth in my chest whenever I’m near you, and I’m blushing like I’m some high schooler, and it’s weird and I don’t hate it but I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“What?” The starkness of the question pulled you out of your tangent.
“I like being around you,” you said softly. “I really do.”
“You’re not mad at me?” The tears began to well in his eyes again.
“No, why would I be mad at you?” You asked.
“Because of the kitchen?” He looked down at his shoes, apparently finding something interesting in the chaos of the room.
“Did you do it on purpose?” You asked.
“No!” Bob started, before you stopped him with a hand on his chest.
“Then I would never be mad at you.” You did your best to sound reassuring.
After a few moments of silence, Bob spoke. “I don’t know how to talk to you either, but I like being around you.”
“Okay, so we’ll work with that.” You smiled. “We’ll just start with being near each other.”
Bob’s eyes met your eyes again. “Okay.”
“Okay,” you replied as you brushed the piece of hair out of his face again. This time, his eyes were back, the blue looking almost gray in the low lighting of the room.
“What the fuck did you two do?” Yelena’s voice pulled the two of you out of the moment.
You really hated your roommates at that minute.