Chapter Text
Alison sits on her living room couch as her eyes dart between the television and the brunette who paces back and forth nearby, constantly biting her nail as she grunts while the weatherman begins to recite the forecast:
“You can see over here, a lot of snow is plowing straight through the entire state, covering the majority of our towns and big cities. Just this morning, the blizzard seemingly, um… amplified, as you can tell from the levels we’re going to be getting hit with. It’ll continue to drive up the East Coast until it makes its way through some parts of our neighbor country,” he seems to struggle with getting all of the information out, and Emily groans when she sees that Rosewood is completely within the confines of the highest accumulation zone on the shown map.
“Currently, we don’t have expected stoppage times for everyone who’s wondering, but we’ll keep you updated. It’s going to be a very, very white Christmas, folks.”
Again, the brunette makes a distraught noise and Alison rolls her eyes at the sound.
“I’m sorry you’re so bothered that you’re snowed in with me,” she scoffs at the other girl.
Emily just shakes her head and walks away, leaving Alison in the living room as she wanders the house somewhere.
The blonde wonders when they’ll stop acting this way. It hasn’t been long ━ technically, it’s been less than a day ━ and, really, they haven’t even attempted to talk about anything since this morning when everything initially went down, but Emily doesn’t seem to want to discuss anything ━ and maybe she never will.
Lately, they’ve been connected, but not in an emotional sense. In more-blunt terms, it’s been strictly physical ever since Alison brought up the idea of a “friends with benefits” relationship when Emily hesitated for a bit too long once they finally sat down to talk about what happened the night the brunette stayed over ━ after Alison had dropped that bombshell on the other girl out of absolutely nowhere. So, the suggestion came out (though Alison barely thought it through beforehand), and Emily hastily nodded. At first, the blonde thought that they’d just… keep it in mind instead of acting on it, but, wow , they acted on it ━ and fast. Not even ten minutes later, the two were messily kissing on Alison’s living room couch, dry humping with soft noises coming out here and there. They eventually stopped, however, with Emily confessing that, sure, they can be friends with benefits, but she still doesn’t want to jump into things. It confused Alison at the time, but she’d be lying if she said that it didn’t make her feel much more comfortable considering what’s been happening with her body.
A few days later, the blonde invited Emily over once again, kissing her at the door almost immediately as she pulled her inside and pressed the brunette against the wooden barrier. That time, Alison was prepared, and she had lit a few candles around her bedroom as she practically dragged Emily upstairs, just to shove her onto the bed. It was passionate yet gentle, contrary to the entire “friends with benefits” vibe, and Alison actually wondered if, just maybe, there’s an underlying emotion that neither of them would admit. All thinking stopped when the brunette’s fingers swiped against her center, and she never caught up to her train of thought once everything was over.
This entire thing has brought out a side of Emily that Alison has never seen before, and she isn’t sure if it’s completely attractive or maybe a bit… different. It’s not her Emily, in all honesty, because, a lot of times, she’s entirely focused on contact and less on feelings, but the blonde wonders if the other girl is just putting up a barrier between them due to her past with rejection when it comes to their relationship. Alison, on the other hand, has felt her fondness for Emily growing within the past few weeks and, every time they get tangled within sheets, the blonde allows herself to fall a little harder in hopes that Emily feels the same way ━ and she does when she lets herself. The brunette, visibly, has been struggling. She’ll steal lovable glances at Alison when she thinks the blonde isn’t looking, and she still allows the girl to cling to her sweaty skin after they’re done having sex.
It’s never rough, however, and Alison admits that, sometimes, it feels like they’re making love instead of solely fucking for fun. Occasionally, Emily will stop and look at Alison, allowing a smile to grace her face before leaning in for another kiss. Other times, she’ll compliment Alison with tender words. No matter what, in every situation, Emily makes sure that Alison is taken care of before anything else. Additionally, the brunette seems ten times more confident in bed, and she isn’t afraid to touch Alison in the best of ways. Admittedly, the confidence, alone , is a huge turn on, but it also makes Alison feel much more admired, in a way.
Because of the brunette’s constant, lovable body language (both in and out of bed), Alison can tell that Emily feels the need for more just as much as she does, but, when she confronted her about it, the entire “Do you want to be more?” conversation didn’t go so well, which is why they’ve been so hot and cold with each other today.
Just this morning, they woke up together, naked, just to get ready for the last day of school before Christmas break. Alison watched Emily get ready (and vice versa), smiling softly at the girl who’s been staying over almost every night for weeks since they both work at Rosewood High now. Most mornings, they’ll eat small breakfasts together (or Alison will actually make a bigger meal), but this morning had them standing in the kitchen, snacking on a few cereal bars as they smiled at one another. Kisses were stolen here and there, and, really, they never exactly acted like anything less than lovers, which is something that they’ve both grown accustomed to.
“So,” Alison starts, “I have a question.”
Immediately, Emily stops in her tracks and turns her head to the girl who seems far past shy at the moment. She waits while silence fills the air, almost sucking the life out of Alison who opens and closes her mouth a few times before grunting when she can’t figure out how to word what she’s thinking. Still, the brunette waits, and she leans her backside against the counter.
“Are you okay, Ali?” she grows concerned when the other girl seems like she’s super conflicted about something.
“Are you really happy with this, Em?” Alison blurts out. “Us, I mean. Are you happy with this whole… ‘friends with benefits’ thing?”
The brunette shrugs, though she furrows her eyebrows at the same time, “I guess. It’s not like I’m not happy with it,” she emphasizes the “not,” making sure that Alison knows where she’s coming from.
“What does that mean, though? I just… can we… sit down and talk, maybe? After school or something?”
Emily visibly backs off a bit, her body language becoming stiff as she begins to adjust her Rosewood High coaching jacket while walking out of the kitchen. Alison frowns severely, scuffling out of the kitchen to follow the girl with open arms and a “what the fuck?” expression written across her features.
“Emily,” she calls out, “did I say something?”
“No, Alison, you didn’t,” her tone bites at the blonde who shrinks back.
When Emily sees the girl’s hurt body language, she licks her lips and bows her head while whispering, “I’m sorry, Ali, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m just tired.”
Alison looks away from the girl who stands at the door, arms now crossed as she tries to focus on something other than the stinging in her chest and the impending tears.
“So,” the blonde finally speaks, voice breaking a bit, “can we talk about it, or no? I’m sick of feeling like this, Em. I want you. All of you.”
Emily’s lips part at the admission, and Alison swears she can see a hint of teenage Emily in there, smiling big at the entire concept of them being together. The girl in front of her, however, swallows hard, mutters a quick “Maybe we’ll talk later,” and walks out.
Alison stands there, arms now limp at her sides as tears flow from her eyes while she replays the prior conversation over and over within the confines of her mind. She runs a hand through her hair while mentally noting the fact that Emily left without her, something she rarely does since they usually take one car to the high school. Next, she gets out a soft “Fuck it,” picks up her jacket, and walks out of the house.
On the way to school, Alison called Hanna while driving once the tears had finally stopped falling, and the other blonde answered the phone with a grumpy “Hello?” due to it being really fucking early.
“Why are you up so early, Alison? Damn,” she can practically hear Hanna moving around in bed.
“Um…” Alison makes a face at no one in particular, maneuvering her car through the semi-empty streets, “it’s a school day, and I teach on school days.”
“Why is school still in session? Christmas is in four days and it’s supposed to get pretty bad out today.”
“I know,” she notes as she looks around, watching the already-falling snowflakes hit her windshield as she sits at a stoplight.
“And why are you calling me before school hours?” comes another groan.
“I fucked up.”
“Can you be a little more specific?”
“My little ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement with Emily. I fucked it up.”
“Oh God,” the other girl sounds much more awake. “We told you that it was a bad idea, Alison. What happened?”
She sighs, “I'm much more attached than I thought I was. Lately, I just want so much more. I want to be with her. So, this morning, I asked if we could talk about it, and I told her what I want.”
“And…?”
“She got all weird, snapped a bit, and walked out.”
“I think that’s just a defense mechanism, Ali. Even Spencer can see that she really loves you and that’s saying something because Spencer never acknowledges what she doesn’t want to.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I’m just saying. We’re all on board with you two… you know… because we just want you happy, but we’re also afraid that it’ll hurt both of you in the end. I think you guys should really sit down and talk about it.”
Alison rolls her eyes, “But I don’t think she wants to talk about it, Hanna.”
“Just give her the day to think and cool down. Maybe you just caught her off-guard,” Hanna’s voice is super sympathetic and Alison sighs again.
“Okay, thanks.”
“I’m going back to sleep now. Have a nice day,” the end of the girl’s statement sounds as if she’s already fast asleep, so Alison hums a quick “Mhm” and hangs up just as she pulls into the school’s parking lot.
Of course, when she stepped into the building, she almost ran straight into Emily who looked back at her with wide eyes. Before Alison could say a word, the other girl brushed past her and quickly made her way towards her office located within the locker room walls. Again, Alison frowned at the cold shoulder concept, eventually shaking her head and continuing towards her own classroom where she’d hopefully be able to focus all day.
She couldn’t, much to her displeasure, and her mind kept drifting back to the brunette who very-obviously avoided her throughout the day. Whenever their paths crossed, Emily would look at her like a deer caught in headlights, and then she’d run the other way. It began to piss Alison off, actually, and the blonde texted Hanna around lunchtime:
“She’s literally avoiding me like the black plague. What the fuck did I do wrong?”
Hanna showed sympathy through her texts, trying her best to calm Alison down ━ especially when she sent a trail of random letters once she grew severely frustrated. As the day progressed, she could see the mounting snow piling against the window, matted to the screen like caked dirt. Her students seemed way more distracted than usual, likely because it was almost Christmas break, and she huffed a few times before tossing the book she was holding onto her teacher’s desk, creating a moderately loud thud. All heads whipped towards her, and she offered them a bitter yet authoritative smile as they shifted in their chairs and shared looks with their neighbor.
Finally, her workday was over once the bell rang, and she peeked into the pool room to see Emily and Paige coaching a bunch of swimmers. At first, the blonde felt a pang of jealousy because Paige is able to see and talk to Emily whenever she feels, but then her blue eyes watched Emily and Paige get into a small argument near the bleachers, resulting in the tanned girl storming away. Of course, she walked in Alison’s direction, locking eyes with the blonde girl who offered her a tight-lipped smile and then turned away, making her way towards the front of the school so she could go home. She felt like crying the entire walk back to her car, but her lips curved into a smile once she saw the fluffy, falling snow because, well, she’s always had a hidden love for snowfall, especially because Rosewood doesn’t get a ton ━ usually . Today, obviously, that fact changed, and they’re supposed to be getting hit with many inches of snow ━ and, likely, it’ll accumulate to a few feet.
Once Alison arrived home, she threw on some comfortable pajamas and lounged around her living room, not really expecting Emily to come back because, honestly, she didn’t seem too keen on the idea of “talking,” so the brunette would likely be going home after she was done with swim practice. That assumption was derailed, surprisingly, when Alison glanced through a window to see Emily making her way up Spencer’s driveway, arms crossed with angry body language as her car was stuck in the middle of the street, somewhat between the Hastings’ and DiLaurentis’ houses. The snow was already piled up a few inches, and you could barely see a great deal of anything because of the thick, white precipitation. So, Alison wandered outside as she hugged her own body, watching her breath fill the air like smoke, and she saw Emily knocking at Spencer’s door furiously. At the time, the blonde rolled her eyes because the other girl knew she was home, but she obviously chose to ignore the fact solely because she wants to avoid confrontation. That didn’t work, however, because Alison eventually called her over with expectant, slightly scolding eyes, and Emily looked as though she was debating until she slumped, ran down the stairs, and stalked across their lawns in order to get into Alison’s house.
For the first few minutes, Emily brushed herself off, eventually earning an annoyed “You have clothes upstairs, you know,” from Alison. Other than that, the brunette only thanked her once, then paced for the entire time after she had gotten comfortable.
Emily’s phone breaks Alison out of her thoughts, and the brunette immediately takes the call with a swift “Hello?”
“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine. I’m with Alison,” the blonde listens to the phone call as she remains sitting on the couch, watching Emily pace the floor once again as she pinches her bottom lip between two of her fingers ━ a nervous habit, Alison’s noticed.
“I was on my way home and I couldn’t really see anything, so I pulled onto Spencer’s street, but she wasn’t home so Alison took me in,” the brunette explains. “And you’re home?”
Alison watches Emily nod, though it’s to no one in particular.
“Good,” she says before sighing. “I don’t know when I’ll be home. I was planning on being home for Christmas, but we’re going to be getting hit hard, so I don’t know.”
Alison can vaguely hear the older woman comforting Emily over the line, mentioning that it’s okay if she can’t make it home for Christmas.
“I know, I know,” Emily’s eyes dart to Alison’s for a second, instantly looking away once they make eye contact.
“Okay,” she breathes out, “I love you too.”
The tanned girl hangs up the phone, allowing her arms to slump by her sides as she stares at the floor for an extended period of time. Alison watches her, narrowing her eyes every now and then because Emily seems lost in thought and she doesn’t exactly want to break the girl’s thinking, but the brunette suddenly shakes her head and mumbles an almost inaudible “I’m going to check on the others and make sure they’re okay.”
Alison raises an eyebrow, not exactly understanding why it’s Emily’s job to check on the others, but then realizes that she’s likely trying her best to avoid being alone (just the two of them), and she needs some excuse.
“Aria,” Emily sounds cheery, “I was just checking to make sure you’re okay.”
“Put her on speaker,” Alison comments, earning an odd look from the brunette who, after a moment, complies, pressing a button so Aria’s voice comes through the speaker.
“You’re on speaker, by the way. Ali’s here,” Emily explains.
“Are you two snowed in yet?” Aria’s voice comes through. “Ezra’s place is nearly plowed in already. It’s insane. I think there’s like… four inches outside, but it seems like thirty.”
“That’s because you’re like… four feet tall,” the girls hear Ezra’s voice come from somewhere near the phone, causing both Alison and Emily to chuckle.
“I’m sorry, Ezra, I don’t think we were talking to you,” they hear Aria tease.
“Stop flirting. We’re right here, you know,” Alison snickers.
“You two have done it plenty of times.”
Emily and Alison look at each other, afterwards blushing while the brunette forces herself to look away.
“No, to answer your question, we’re not completely snowed in yet. My car’s stuck, though,” Emily chews her inner cheek.
“Are you staying there?”
“Until the snow lightens up, I’ll have to.”
Alison looks at the brunette, frowning again because that seems to be the only expression she can come up with nowadays; it’s just so unlike Emily to be this against spending the night with her. Even when they’re upset with one another, usually the brunette is still supportive and cuddly, but right now it seems as though she’d rather Alison be in a whole different state.
“Okay…” even Aria seems taken aback by the statement, “well we were just about to eat dinner, so I’ll talk to you guys later. Stay warm.”
Emily looks at the clock and notes that it’s only nearing six-thirty at night. Yeah, it’s dark, but Aria and Ezra never eat dinner this early because they’re usually cooking until at least seven o’clock. She shrugs either way, ending the call without giving the other girl a “Goodbye” after Alison had. Before the blonde can get a word out, Emily is hitting Hanna’s number, causing Alison to roll her eyes while rubbing at her forehead. The brunette is now sitting in a chair further away from Alison, holding the phone as the extended ringing noise fills the living room.
“Hello, Emily,” Hanna exaggerates the girl’s name, sounding as if she’s already smiling.
They hear laughing in the background, followed by Spencer’s voice saying, “Put her on speaker.”
“You’re on speaker too, guys. I’m with Alison.”
The blonde looks at her hands when she hears her name fall from Emily’s lips. It sounds venomous, almost, and she starts to really wonder if she did something unknowingly. Why would Emily be this harsh over Alison saying she wants to talk? It’s not like she told Emily, “I can’t stand this entire thing. I’m done.” Now that would be shitty, and Alison’s stomach churns at the thought of losing Emily in any way, shape, or form.
“Good,” comes Hanna’s comment and Emily furrows her eyebrows at the tone.
“What do you mean ‘good’?”
Before Hanna can answer, Spencer’s voice comes through the speaker.
“Hanna won’t stop singing to me, Em. Please help,” she laughs.
“You asked me if I could sing to you!”
“I was being sarcastic! I said, ‘Yes, Hanna, I love your voice. Please sing louder,’ and you clearly didn’t catch onto the sarcasm.”
“Why are you two even together right now?” Alison chuckles as she throws her voice across the room.
“I went to the loft to talk to Hanna about a few things, and then the freakin’ snow got super bad. Now I’m stuck here with this loud-mouth.”
“You love it.”
“Where’s Aria?”
“At Ezra’s,” Emily answers.
“And you’re at Alison’s, I’m assuming,” Hanna speaks again.
“Yup,” the brunette wears an unreadable expression.
“Good,” the same reply comes.
“What do you mean ‘good,’ Hanna?”
The girl sighs, and Alison doesn’t even try to stop Hanna from saying what she’s about to confess because, well, she knows that the other blonde is about to explain their phone call from this morning, and━
“Look, Em. I don’t know what’s going on with you and neither does Alison. Honestly, that scares me a bit because she usually knows so much since you two share everything, but it’s whatever. You’re allowed to deal with whatever you need to in whatever way you find easiest, but you two need to talk things through, and I mean it. I’m glad you’re stuck in a house together for the time being. Work things out because we’re all worried about you two.”
Emily looks at Alison with a slight expression of betrayal, and the blonde tilts her head with accusatory eyes. They stare at one another, and the other line goes silent before they hear Spencer whisper something to Hanna, but they can’t make it out.
“Yeah,” Hanna continues in a firm voice, “so sort out your shit. You’ll have to do it one way or another.”
“Okay,” is Emily’s only reply, and the phone is hung up not even a second later.
She tosses the device onto the coffee table, afterwards getting up and walking around the room as Alison looks at her with wide eyes. The blonde stands up abruptly, being sick of the constant attitude, and she crosses her arms as she stares at Emily with those same, wide eyes.
“What the hell is your problem, Emily?”
No answer; just frequent pacing.
“All I did was say that I want more from this and you become some asshole who throws attitude at people left and right. Including me. I want to know what’s wrong,” the end of her statement sounds cracked and mildly sympathetic, resulting in Emily whipping around to face the girl who stands there with folded arms.
“Why would you say something to Hanna?” is her only response, eyebrows raised as her voice sounds as if she’s scolding the girl in front of her.
“I needed someone to talk to, Emily,” Alison shakes her head. “You wouldn’t talk to me, and I needed someone who knew the situation so I could explain myself. I’m not about to keep this bottled up just because you can’t handle talking about it. I don’t even know why . Like… what did I do, Em? Tell me.”
“So you two decided to gang up on me? Is that it? Spencer too? And Aria?” she throws out names, constantly ignoring the central topic.
“What? No,” again, Alison shakes her head, “Hanna just agrees that we should talk about things, Em. No one is ganging up on you.”
“Well Hanna should mind her business,” Emily bites, and that’s when Alison’s eyes widen even further as she takes a step forward, uncrossing her arms.
She speaks incredulously and firmly, “You can be pissed at me all you want for whatever reason, but don’t you dare say shit about Hanna. She’s stuck by your side since day one and you can bet your ass I won’t hesitate to throw you out in the snow if you continue bitching about her. Any of them, come to think of it.”
Emily seems to back off, especially when Alison’s within arms length and all she wants to do is smash their lips together. The blonde can see lust heavily swirling in her eyes, so she takes a step back when her own throat begins to tighten up as her gaze struggles to remain off of the other girl’s lips. Meanwhile, the atmosphere changes from an angry type of thick to a warm, magnetic density, and Emily clears her throat as she looks away.
“Maybe I really should leave. I’ll be careful,” she shakes her head as she walks over to the front door, stopping once Alison rounds her and stands in front of the barrier.
“No,” Alison mimics the other girl’s head shake, “you’re not driving anywhere, Em. It’s too dangerous out there.”
“Alison,” she looks downwards as she speaks with a sad tone, “I can’t. I really don’t want to keep arguing with you, and I’m sorry that I’ve been so off. I just can’t…” she struggles to find an end to the sentence, and Alison takes a step closer.
The blonde nods, though she doesn’t know what the other girl was trying to say, and she wraps her arms around Emily’s waist as she buries her face into the side of the brunette’s neck. She feels and hears Emily sniffle hard, so she tightens the embrace as she takes in the girl’s scent, always enjoying the smell of Emily’s body spray whenever they’re within close proximity. Alison feels Emily finally give into the hug, bowing her head a little as they stand near the front door.
“Please don’t go. Not right now,” Alison whispers.
She feels Emily swallow hard before an elongated breath tumbles from her lips. Alison clings to the other girl, shaking her head as she chokes out one more, whispered “Please.”
After another few seconds, Emily nods, and Alison backs up so she can look into the brunette’s eyes. Once they make eye contact, it becomes difficult to focus, and Alison has to look away because she doesn’t want to kiss Emily without knowing where they stand. Emily wipes at her eyelids, afterwards looking at the ceiling and letting out a deep sigh.
“I’m going to go out and clear off the cars a bit. The snow’s getting heavy and I don’t want the windshields to get messed up,” Emily explains, barely looking at Alison when she speaks.
“Okay,” the other girl nods, though she feels severely rejected because the brunette can’t even make eye contact with her.
Emily mimics the nod as she takes her jacket and walks outside, not bothering to put on any gloves or a hat. On her feet, she wears simple sneakers, and Alison shakes her head at the fact that the brunette would rather catch pneumonia than stay in the house with her for another second. Once Emily is outside, Alison watches the girl from the window as she pulls a shovel and brush out of the trunk of her car that remains in the street. Next, Emily begins brushing off her car, occasionally stopping and wiping at her face for whatever reason. Eventually, Alison has to step away from the window because her eyes begin to water hard; everything’s just become so fucked up lately, and she should have never suggested this stupid “friends with benefits” idea, even if it kept them close ━ in a way.
Really, she just wants to pour a glass of wine (or twelve) and sit on the couch as she wallows in self-loathing, but obviously she can’t, so she backs up until her legs hit the edge of a cushion. She sits down a second later, nuzzling into the back of the couch as she looks as her stomach and hugs herself, feeling her eyes fill with more tears. She can’t stop her sobs this time, and she begins to cry hard as her hands cover her eyes, rubbing at her eyelids and forehead. In order to look presentable when Emily comes back in, Alison takes multiple deep breaths in hopes that she can even out her breathing, and she chews at her bottom lip. Before she can do anything else, her phone beeps nearby, and she picks it up to see a text from Hanna:
“I hope I didn’t make things worse. I just thought that she needed to hear it.”
Quickly, Alison writes back a short “It’s okay. She’s still not really talking though,” hitting send immediately. She plays with the device in her hand as her eyes dart around the room, noting the Christmas decor that she hasn’t paid much attention to since she put everything up. Her tree is up, tucked away in the corner with only clear lights adorning the branches ━ and not a trace of ornaments or personalization. Currently, the tree’s lights are off (as well as everything else), and the room looks dreary ━ especially due to the lack of presents anywhere in the room. It matches the way she feels, really, and Alison rolls her eyes at the entire situation because maybe, if she turned on some Christmas-y lights, she’d feel a bit better; honestly, she hasn’t had any desire to decorate or celebrate, even if she enjoys the festive concept ━ she just wants to mope right now. Even before today, her thoughts had been so scattered that she hasn’t even given the idea a chance which resulted in the “no spirit” look that she’s currently glancing at. Sure, a time or two, she had wondered if Emily would stop by sometime on or near Christmas Day, but she never asked because, well, maybe that’d be crossing some sort of boundary. So, whenever she thought about the idea, she’d keep her mouth shut while forcing herself to change the internal subject, actually rolling her eyes a time or two when the concept continued to swirl in her mind.
With a huff, she pushes herself off of the couch and moves over to the window again. Her eyes dart around the front lawn, not spotting Emily anywhere at first. Eventually, she catches sight of the brunette sitting on the curb near her car, head in her hands. The sight almost breaks Alison, even if the girl is just resting to catch her breath. The blonde’s eyes water again, and that’s when she walks over to the door and flings it open, stepping onto the front porch.
“Emily,” she calls out and the brunette lifts her head, twisting her body around to see Alison standing on the front porch, arms crossed to keep herself warm since she’s wearing thin pajama pants, a matching long sleeve shirt, and socks.
The girl stands up, quickly moves across the front lawn, storms up the front steps, and practically shoves Alison through the doorway with a creased forehead and damp cheeks.
“Are you crazy, Alison? You could get sick,” Emily locks the front door and puts her jacket on a nearby hook, afterwards turning around to face the blonde with the same, scolding expression covering her features.
“You were out there for much longer than I was,” Alison reminds.
“I’m fine, though,” she says, but her hands are a faint shade of blue and Alison’s eyes go wide upon seeing the color.
The blonde huffs as she tilts her head when she looks at Emily who bites her inner cheek. Within seconds, the brunette’s wrist is snatched and she’s being dragged into the kitchen. Her hands are shoved under warm water a moment later, and Alison is staring at her while shaking her head with tired eyes.
“Next time you go outside, dress warmer,” she scolds. “I’m not letting you out of the house, otherwise.”
“I’m not a kid, Alison. You can’t make me stay inside.”
She takes a step closer, eyes challenging, “You must not know me, then.”
Emily side-eyes the other girl, keeping her hands underneath the steady stream of water while Alison walks away. She hears the blonde rummaging through the cabinets, followed by the sound of a can being opened.
“I’m making us soup,” Alison notifies since she knows that Emily is bound to ask what she’s doing.
“You don’t have to do that, Ali,” she shuts the water off, wiping her hands afterwards as she feels like pins and needles are poking at her skin.
Emily’s nose is red while her cheeks remain looking damp. Really, she looks cold , and Alison wants to hug her again but, instead, she shakes her head and continues heating up a pot of soup for them to share.
“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to.”
“At least let me help.”
“No, it’s fine,” Alison answers with an unreadable tone.
Emily stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as the other girl continues to prepare their dinner. Alison mimics the position as she waits for the soup to heat up, stirring it occasionally before she goes back to leaning against the counter across from Emily who stares at her. They make awkward eye contact every now and then, but nothing too serious, and no one speaks for ten minutes. Once the soup starts to bubble, Alison serves their meals, and they move into the living room so they can eat comfortably ━ or as comfortably as they can due to the circumstances. Snow-covered silence fills the house, only interrupted by the sound of spoons clanking around in ceramic bowls. The single phrase that’s spoken throughout “dinner” is Emily thanking Alison for the soup, and the blonde hums at the gratitude. Emily’s brown eyes occasionally steal glances at Alison, wondering what she’s thinking since she hasn’t attempted to talk about things for quite a bit now. Alison, on the other hand, is afraid to say anything because, well, Emily could get set off at any given second; whenever she thinks about what’s happening, her eyes start to water, so she tries to stay away from the thought as much as possible while they eat across from each other.
“You’re so beautiful,” Emily smiles at the girl who hovers above her, completely naked and covered in a thin layer of sweat.
“You’re only saying that because I’ve been keeping you satisfied,” Alison jokes. “You kind of have to say that, actually.”
“That’s not true, Ali,” she laughs. “I mean… yes, you have been,” her eyes widen, “but that’s really not it.”
“Tell me about it, then,” the girl sits up straight, still straddling Emily who lies flat against the blonde’s mattress.
Alison’s fingertips drag along Emily’s collarbones, afterwards tracing her throat gently as she smiles whenever the brunette slightly whimpers at the feeling. Her blue eyes watch the tanned girl struggle to focus, and her smile grows with each passing second.
“You’re just… you,” Emily gets out, “and that’s beautiful. So beautiful.”
“Do you really mean that?” Alison raises an eyebrow, smiling as she leans down.
“Mhm,” the brunette hums right before her lips are sealed once again.
Emily’s eyes bore into the coffee table in the middle of them, and Alison studies her empty expression. The brunette’s lips quirk into a slight smile as she starts to blush, quickly looking away and taking a deep breath when she finally breaks herself out of her thoughts. Alison’s eyes evade the other girl’s gaze so Emily doesn’t catch her staring, and she suddenly gets up and walks back into the kitchen with her empty bowl. The brunette follows, carrying her own empty bowl, and she approaches Alison who stands in front of the sink. Before she can place her bowl next to Alison’s, the blonde abruptly turns around, leaving her trapped between Emily and the counter, and both girl’s eyes widen at the proximity ━ not to mention the position.
An extended amount of tension-infused time passes before Emily places the bowl into the sink as she leans forward slightly, reaching behind Alison’s back. The blonde stays still, barely breathing as Emily’s lips are only a few inches away from hers, and her eyes flutter shut at the closeness. The other girl, similarly, can barely breathe, and her fingertips brush against the middle of Alison’s back as she removes her hand from the sink. Alison swallows hard when she feels the light pressure, and she opens her eyes to see Emily biting her own lower lip. When the brunette doesn’t move, Alison forces herself away from the situation as she shimmies out from between the girl and the counter, afterwards escaping the kitchen as fast as possible.
She heads into the living room and picks up her phone so she can check if she has any messages. She doesn’t, and her eyes catch sight of the time before she shuts her screen off: 9:06 P.M.
“I’m going to sleep down here,” Emily’s voice breaks up Alison’s thoughts.
She looks… hurt, in a way, and Alison wonders if it’s because she walked out of the kitchen. She feels slightly guilty but, at the same time, she doesn’t; if Emily actually made the attempt to discuss things, maybe they’d be having a much better time right now.
“Okay,” the blonde huffs as she looks around, “I’m sure I can find enough blankets for both of us.”
As she moves around the room, she picks up a multitude of blankets and pillows, and Emily watches her with narrowed eyes.
“Alison, you don’t have to stay down here with me.”
She stops, turns to Emily, and puts her hands on her hips as she tilts her head, “Again, I know ,” she speaks with an irritated tone, “but I’m going to, anyway.”
Emily raises her eyebrows and rubs her arms as she looks around awkwardly, standing quietly while Alison prepares their “beds” ━ since they likely won’t do well sleeping together tonight.
Ultimately, one of them is going to stay on the couch while the other rests either on the floor or in a nearby chair, even though both girls really wish that they could sleep together. No one wants to voice the idea, however, so Emily steals the chair that she’s been sitting in for most of the day, quickly draping a blanket over herself. When Alison turns back around to see Emily already snuggled up (as much as she can be), her eyebrows furrow and she frowns.
“Em, you can have the couch.”
“No,” Emily shakes her head forcefully. “I don’t care what you say, Alison. I want you to sleep on the couch. You’re the one who needs to be comfortable. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re the guest, Emily.”
When the brunette just stares at her like she’s being ridiculous, Alison huffs with raised eyebrows and a soft “Whatever” even though she’s secretly thankful that the other girl is practically forcing her to claim the couch. Lately, her surprise pregnancy has been fucking with her sleeping schedule, her comfort zone, and everything else. So, in the end, Alison mentally thanks Emily for being so stubborn, even if it’s just because she knows that the blonde needs to be as comfortable as possible nowadays ━ it’s the sentiment that counts.
Before getting settled, Alison shuts off the kitchen lights. It’s pretty early, actually, so she’s surprised that Emily seems to be getting comfortable already, but she goes with it just for the sake of not getting into another stupid argument. She locks the door and looks out the window, still not being able to see too far because of the thick snow, but she can make out multiple inches of powder covering the ground, already near the halfway point of her mailbox’s neck. The air is becoming super cold and she rubs her hands together, passing Emily so she can get comfortable on the couch. Once she sits down, she gathers her blankets and bundles up, afterwards lying against the back of the couch as she stares at Emily who watches her with soft eyes.
“Will you be okay with two blankets? I have more upstairs if you need any,” Alison wonders, feeling kind of shitty that she doesn’t know what else to offer since she forgot to bring firewood into the living room earlier.
“I’ll be fine, Ali,” Emily speaks with a tired voice. “Thank you, though.”
Alison nods.
“Will you be okay?”
She forces a tight-lipped smile, “We’ll see.”
“If you need anything, just ask.”
“I told you that you’re the guest, Em.”
“I know, but I don’t care, Alison. I just want you comfortable,” her eyes drift down towards Alison’s stomach so she can prove her point, and the blonde rolls her eyes with a small laugh.
“Well, thank you, but we’re fine.”
“Still,” Emily flashes a tiny smile, “let me know.”
Again, Alison nods, slightly smiling at the other girl’s relentlessness.
More silence fills the air, and the two stare at one another for an extended period of time. Alison’s gaze flickers between Emily’s eyes and her lips, much like before, and, again, she forces herself to look away because they’re never going to get anywhere solid at this rate. Instead of getting her mind off of the girl sitting across from her, she flashes back to a time after their bodies separated, flopping onto the mattress next to one another.
“I should’ve suggested this a long time ago,” Alison gently laughs through her heavy breathing, shifting closer until her skin is sticking to Emily’s as her leg lands between the brunette’s thighs.
“Mhm,” the other girl hums as her nails drag up and down Alison’s back, afterwards feeling open-mouthed kisses being strewn along the skin of her neck.
“Em,” she backs up after a few more kisses, staring at the tanned girl with eyes full of admiration and, well, something else, “I…” she trails off, though the words are on the tip of her tongue, and her eyes close for a few seconds, “I just really missed you. Us, really.”
Emily stares back at her, softly smiling as she nods in agreement.
“Come here,” the brunette whispers, pulling Alison closer to her body as they cuddle for the remainder of the night.
Emily clears her throat across the room, snapping Alison out of her memories. The brunette continues to stare at her, and her brown eyes bore into Alison’s blue ones while their eye contact becomes like an unspoken conversation. Suddenly, Emily breaks the silent stare-down, and she looks past Alison, glancing at the unlit tree that’s tucked into the corner of the room.
“You should probably decorate that,” she nods towards the tree and Alison looks backwards. “Christmas is in a few days.”
The blonde turns back and offers a slow nod, only briefly looking at Emily as she says, “I’ve been a bit distracted lately.”
Emily mimics the nod, studying Alison’s regretful expression.
For the rest of the night, the two girls keep the talking to a minimum, only making short conversation here and there as the snow outside piles up. The air grows even colder once the clock strikes midnight, and Alison almost asks Emily to cuddle with her as she starts to miss the body heat they’ve shared nearly every night for weeks now, but she brushes off the idea due to the day’s events. The brunette, similarly, wants to wrap her arms around the girl that sits across from her, solely because she can see Alison shiver every now and then, but she knows that she acted horribly for the majority of the day, so she hugs herself as she stares into those infamous blue eyes for a few more hours.
Around two in the morning, both girls nod off one after another. Emily watches Alison fall asleep once she finally lies down along the couch cushions, and she smiles at the blonde who is curled up against the piece of furniture. She gets up a minute later, quietly walking over to Alison and draping another blanket over the girl’s body. Before resuming her position from a minute prior, she takes another look at the sleeping girl, leans down, and kisses her on the top of the head ━ light enough so she doesn’t wake up. Once she’s settled back in the chair from before, she tucks her knees into her chest, leans her head to the side, and falls asleep within minutes as at least a foot of snow coats the ground outside ━ piling up more and more by each passing hour.