Work Text:
Zeno felt his eyes flutter closed, a heavy weight dragging them down. His back leaned against a willow tree.
When he opened them, a shadow stood in front of him. Long blue hair cascaded down the sides of his face, close enough that it tickled. A gentle hand tilted his head up; Zeno froze. Standing in front of him was Abi, wearing a heavy wooden mask on his face. A soft smile on his lips as his head was leaned down over Zeno. His hair was completely down.
This isn't right.
There was something wrong. Everything feels wrong. Abi wasn't gentle, not like this, and he had never woken Zeno in the middle of a forest. Abi had never worn a mask either; that was something future Seiryuus did, from their villages forcing it on them when they were mere children. Shin-ah wears a mask, but Shin-ah isn't Abi. He had only worn something covering his face once, and it was after their king had died.
As soon as that specific thought crossed his mind, the mask broke apart. Shattering into a million pieces and dropped onto the ground with a loud clatter. It shouldn't have made that noise, but Zeno couldn't bring himself to look away from the golden eyes staring right at him. Abi kept his hand on him.
A whisper cut through the air, light as if the man in front of him was scared Zeno would break if he spoke any louder. “Did you miss me?”
He couldn’t speak. He couldn't move. Zeno was forced to watch as Abi looked down at him, far, far too gentle. The Seiryuu smiled, and his fingers twitched with a sudden urge to pull Abi down. To bring him close just in case, but he felt that if he moved at all, if he touched him, then Abi would slip through his fingers like mist.
“I hate to bother you with your new brothers.” Abi took a step back, his gaze never leaving Zeno’s. “I was wondering if you had forgotten me yet.”
Zeno blinked, and he could see the campsite with all the others. Frozen in time, they looked almost porcelain to him. Each one of them blurred at the edges as Zeno dug his fingers into the wet dirt below him. It felt like sand. He didn't dare look. He watched as Abi stepped behind the Seiryuu. Behind Shin-ah. Abi placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders. The resemblance was striking. They were around the same height; Abi was slightly taller. Their faces were the same.
Why was Shin-ah’s face uncovered?
The same gentle smile, the same curve of their eyes, the same soft skin.
Same.
Same.
Same.
“Zeno, are you paying attention? I had asked you a question.”
He let out a harsh gasp, ears ringing and chest squeezing in on itself. Zeno hadn’t heard what Abi had said. No, he was certain that he hadn’t said anything in the first place. He licked his lips, opening his mouth to speak, to say anything. Only managing a choked,
“Abi..?”
The ghost in front of him smiled, and Zeno felt a shiver run down his back. “I asked: are you thinking of me when you see him? Do you see me whenever he calls your name?”
Abi had let go of the Seiryuu. Of Shin-ah.
Why is his name slipping my mind?
He walked closer, and suddenly Zeno felt his heart speed up. His back pressed deeply into the oak tree behind him. Abi crouched down, carefully cupping his cheeks. Hot tears poured over Zeno’s eyelashes, running down his face, leaving red streaks behind.
“Don’t. Please.” A ragged sob tore itself from his throat.
Abi grinned. “Do you catch him when his power repels back, as you did for me? Does he dote on you like me? Holding you close when war only got worse?”
He reached up, grabbing onto the purple robes, gripping hard enough to rip. Zeno was shaking; he knew he was, yet his hands stayed perfectly still. “This isn't real.”
Abi stared down at him. Always staring. The smile on his face made Zeno sick. The way his hair was in the very same bun when he last saw him. The way he looked so kind even though Zeno knew this wasn't Abi. Abi was brass and loud and blunt. He wasn’t this kind, not without a reason. Zeno’s grip on him only became tighter; he didn't want to let go.
Abi hummed, brushing his thumb over the tears that spilled. “Does it matter? You’re hardly living in the present, so why not stay here a little longer? I’ll be gentle.”
He blinked, and Abi was close enough that he could feel their breath on his face. The touch on his cheeks felt hot and uncomfortable.
“Zeno.”
He didn't answer; he couldn't. Not when he wanted to stay like this a little longer because god, he missed Abi so much. He missed all of them.
“Zeno.”
The space felt fuzzy to his eyes; his ears were ringing. Everything hurt. He didn't know why, but he could still feel fabric underneath his fingers.
“Zeno!”
His eyes snapped open and locked on the person in front of him. Shin-ah was in front of him, but he had his mask on. Jae-ha was just a half-step behind. They were both staring at him. Zeno flexed and unflexed his hand, releasing the bundle of fabric he had grabbed. He had grabbed Shin-ah in his distress.
Jae-ha stared at him, confused. “You alright? It seemed like you were having a nightmare. As soon as Shin-ah went to wake you up, you grabbed him.”
Zeno hadn't taken his eyes off Shin-ah yet. An awful image overlapped with the current Seiryuu, especially when he seemed so worried for him. Zeno finally dropped his gaze, looking at Jae-ha, smiling as if he was perfectly fine. “Zeno is okay! Seiryuu is so nice for waking him up!”
Shin-ah opened his mouth to say something, but Zeno didn't hear him. A different voice rang out in his ears.
“Are you thinking of me when you see him?”
He stood up abruptly, dusting himself off. The sun was already up in the sky, so that meant he had fallen asleep outside all night. “Zeno is going to see if the lad has breakfast!”
And he walked away.
Zeno couldn't bear looking at Shin-ah, knowing that right now he was seeing a different Seiryuu. It wasn't his fault that Zeno was looking for a ghost, and it isn't right for him to stare at Shin-ah until he gets it.