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Although he knew his server was weird… wasn’t this a bit much?
A strange man in grey with a ying yang bandana, excitedly thieving from him in broad daylight. Quite literally in front of his living room windows for everyone to see, also conversing and bantering with thin air..?
Not the weirdest thing he’d seen in his life but it probably ranked somewhere up there in the top tens and top hundreds maybe.
Right
The stealing
“Dude what are you doing, why’re you in my chests?” He approached the peculiar man, having pat him on the shoulder, and confronted him.
He continued on, “Who are you?” And what flavour of dumbass are you to be stealing in broad daylight??
The man started spouting some nonsense about a flying machine, right, okay sure, don’t answer his question at all, why not.
The man— Bandana man? Ying Yang boy? —practically begged him to permit them to borrow his red-stone for a flying machine.
Could’ve just asked before ‘miscellaneous black and white semi-circles’ broke into his house, but apparently manners don’t exist in Minecraft anymore.
‘Bandana man’ scrambled to explain himself, obviously because Parameterization was really just that intimidating; Saying that ‘they’— what did he mean by ‘they’? —only wanted the red-stone for the flying machine because of The Leviathan.
“You’re going to build a flying machines with my supplies?”
Supposedly, ‘Ying Yang boy’ was making a video? Investigating The Leviathan, as if he’d care.
Was he just supposed to trust him?
He’d met this loser like what, twenty five seconds ago? And the first thing he saw was him rummaging around in his chests.
God forbid he has an unfavourable first impression of him, you would’ve too had you been in his place.
He interrupted whatever ‘Bandana junkie’ was about to say and made it simple.
Pay up
He suggested the man pay him fifty bucks, which, garnered a maybe not so positive reaction.
He’d argue that he was being lenient if anything.
Eh, he didn’t need the fifty bucks that bad.
What really bothers him though.. he kept mentioning a ‘we’, referring to himself as an ‘us’ looking back at some non-existent being, person. As if someone else was there, responding.
He nearly considered asking the man if he was okay and checking him for a fever, perhaps he was high? It wouldn’t be the first time someone played on the server while high, although he seemed perfectly aware and sensible otherwise.
Hm, interesting
Seeing the man turn to exchange words with the air once more, he sighed and considered everything that he’d done ever in his life that could’ve possibly been what led him to whatever he was dealing with right now.
Either way, he should probably get this over with, hallucinating and possibly high players aside
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What was this about dark oak saplings?
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Holy fucking shit
Why in the WORLD did he fucking agree to this bullshit. He’s never trusting anyone again, fuck this.
Stood in front of two dirt-beds with saplings planted in them, the only thing that was running through his mind was how stupid this looked.
What did he even agree to bro.
Some stupid bonemeal competition, this guy really was deranged. If ‘Bandan-
Ahem
If Wifies’ saplings grew first, he’d win, and therefore win his supllies, and if Parameterization won, well, you can guess.
God he probably rigged this somehow,
“You probably rigged this somehow..”
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“I literally placed them a second ago.”
Sure, whatever the CHEATER, said…
Wifies offered to trade sides with him, saying he just needed to break it. Wow great, he’s being condescending now, how wonderful.
Thinking he was being all helpful…
New bet was that whoever’s saplings grew the quickest would lose… So he obviously rigged it duh, so for good measure he asked him to bonemeal twice
Never gonna get one up on him…
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HE LOST
FUCK HE KNEW THIS SHIT WAS RIGGED
FUCK WIFIES AND FUCK WHATEVER GHOST HE WAS HALLUCINATING!
“But it is okay if I have the red-stone supplies right?”
Obviously not! Anyone could’ve told you that that bet was rigged!
Tried to haggle with him, hah, as if..
And what’s up with the ‘we’ again?
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Right, fifty bucks though.. actual nah, seventy five now.
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“Hello?”
“Hello??”
“Wifies???”
“WIFIES???”
“Helloooo?”
“Can you hear me?”
Maybe Wifies really was high all this time?
Parameterization had been trying to get his attention for the past thirty minutes. He really needed those supplies back..
“Anyone home up there? Dude you’ve been standing there for like.. thirty minutes.” And he needed those supplies back.
“Hellooo, Wifiees?”
Yeah this Wifies guy probably was high, no doubt about it now.
Nevermind, he’d just leave, it’s been thirty minutes, he seriously doubted-!
He moved!
Right, now if Parameterization could just get his stuff back, “So, are you gonna give me my stuff back?”
‘Wifies left the game’
What the fu-
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