Chapter Text
It has been almost four years since the end of the Fourth Shinobi War. Almost four years since Hinata lost Neji. She wept and prayed for weeks on end after the war ended – for what, she wasn’t too sure. But it was as if time stood still for Hinata while life in Konoha resumed at full speed. Markets and newly reconstructed shophouses in the heart of Konoha were once again filled with the lively sounds of civilian children, but Hinata could not bring herself to bask in the atmosphere. For months, she felt like a ghost in her own village, and an outsider to her own body. Grief was an all-consuming thing, as she had come to learn.
It took Hinata three whole months to finally agree to spend time with Kiba and Shino again. Most of her time before that was spent in her dojo or the confines of her living quarters. She spent hours meditating, and occasionally she would write letters to Neji which she knew he would never receive. Her letters were uncharacteristically disorganized – her words would usually meander through random strings of conscious thought before arriving at the same rhetorical question.
Why would you die for me?
I’m not worth it.
Deep down, Hinata knew the answer. Beyond his duties as her protector, Neji loved her like she was his own sister. He was ready to give up his life for her just as she was ready to give up her own for Naruto. And she knew that if she could rewind the clock, she would have made the same choice again, as would Neji.
“Neji-niisan, can you hear me?”
In the distance, Hinata could hear the soft fluttering of wings, and it reminded her that Neji was no longer a caged bird. His sacrifice had been a choice. It freed him. Ironically, Hinata felt like the one who was caged now.
“It’s been four years, but I still miss you very much.” Hinata knelt in front of Neji’s tombstone and stared at his name engraved on it. The engraving was seared into her memory by this point. She stayed as still as a statue, quietly indulging herself with fond memories she shared with Neji to avoid thinking about his last moments. She only began to rise when she could no longer feel her legs. By then, it was almost sunset.
She turned to leave but gave one last longing gaze at Neji’s grave, which she had just decorated with a handmade bouquet of white chrysanthemums. Hinata was no florist, but making bouquets for Neji had slowly become one of her coping mechanisms over the many months she spent grieving his passing.
Hinata was about to exit the graveyard when her keen eyes spotted someone over a hundred metres away kneeling on the ground. They appeared to be paying their respects to someone. Hinata squinted, and she gasped when realization dawned on her. There was only one person she knew with that obsidian hair.
Why is he here?
Hinata could not recall having any interaction with Uchiha Sasuke. All she remembered was that he used to be a promising, bright-eyed boy in the academy who turned into an antisocial teenager after his entire world was cruelly ripped apart by his older brother. She had never spoken to him, but she knew that Naruto never stopped believing in his goodness, even until the end of the war.
Should I tell Naruto-kun?
The thought danced around in Hinata’s head. On one hand, she felt duty-bound to report his presence to the Seventh Hokage, but on the other hand, she was not sure if Sasuke intended to stay. Maybe he only intended to stop by to pay his respects to someone, and was supposed to remain undetected. In that case, perhaps she should pretend she never saw him.
And yet, before she could comprehend her own actions, Hinata felt herself getting pulled towards him, as if by a gravitational force. She took a flower from Neji’s bouquet with her.
Sasuke heard her quiet footsteps approaching, but he did not turn to acknowledge her presence. He recognized her as Hyuuga Hinata. From what he could remember, she was the meek heiress of the Hyuuga clan who spoke with a mousey voice and followed Naruto around like his shadow. She was the only girl who did not harass him when he was still a shinobi in Konoha, and paradoxically, that was how she ended up being the only girl in his cohort he developed some semblance of respect for. However, his mind could not dredge up any memories of their interaction, so he quickly abandoned this train of thought.
Her footsteps gradually became louder until they stopped about a metre away from him. He cast a glance at her shoes from the periphery of his vision, but he did not greet her.
“Uchiha-san,” she began.
The first thing Sasuke noticed was that she did not stutter. Her voice was no longer mousey, but it was still soft and gentle.
“Hyuuga,” he reciprocated. His voice was devoid of any emotion.
Hinata’s eyes darted towards the tombstone in front of Sasuke, and she did her best to mask her surprise at seeing the name “Uchiha Itachi” engraved on it. She had no idea that Itachi’s grave was in Konoha, but now that she was aware, it made sense why Sasuke was here.
Does he come here every year?
Despite feeling like she was interrupting a private moment, Hinata summoned all the courage she had and took a few steps forward to close the distance between them. She knew she was playing with fire because Sasuke was unpredictable and very, very dangerous. However, she allowed herself to be guided by her instincts instead. The man before her was not a traitor to Konoha; he was just a man grieving his loved one, just as she was.
Hinata knelt down next to Sasuke and placed the stalk of white chrysanthemum on Itachi’s tombstone. Sasuke did not stop her, but she sensed that he was watching her every move intently. Hinata opened her mouth, an explanation resting at the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed her words and clamped her mouth shut. The silence between them hung heavily, but for some reason, Hinata did not feel the need to disturb it.
A moment passed between them where neither said anything. After making a silent prayer, Hinata shifted her weight to the heels of her feet. It felt like the right moment for her to leave, but to her surprise, Sasuke stopped her.
“What brings you here?” he asked. His eyes did not leave Itachi’s tombstone even as he uttered those words.
Hinata smiled at him politely, even though he was not looking at her. “I was visiting Neji-niisan.”
“I see.”
Hinata got to her feet but she loitered around Sasuke, who remained kneeling. She sensed a slight shift in the atmosphere, and it compelled her to stay for a while longer.
“Neji-niisan was – is – an important person to me,” she said. Hinata did not know why she revealed this, but there was something disarming about the situation. Sasuke did not react, but she knew that he was listening. “He was like my older brother. He always protected me, and he did… until the very end.” Hinata’s voice wavered at the last part, but she did her best to hide her sorrow. She was not sure if Sasuke noticed this.
There was a pause where Sasuke simply took in her words and weighed them in his mind. After some contemplation, he replied, “I thought he hated you.”
To his surprise, Hinata dismissed his comment. “It’s all in the past, Uchiha-san,” she said.
“That’s it?”
“Hm?”
“I recall he almost killed you years ago,” he reminded her matter-of-factly.
Hinata took no offense to that. “Ah… a lot of things changed when you left Konoha, Uchiha-san.”
There was yet another pause where Sasuke took the time to process her words and mentally search for memories that would fill the information gap he had. His efforts were futile, but for some inexplicable reason, he wanted to know. Besides, Sasuke had time, so he said, “Tell me.”
Hinata shifted her weight from one foot to the other and turned to gaze at the picturesque view of the horizon. The sun was dipping below it, casting a golden glow on the village. She smiled wistfully as she allowed the memories to wash over her. “I’m not sure you are aware, Uchiha-san… but Neji-niisan used to resent my family because he believed that the Branch family – his family – was subjugated by mine. And he believed that it was his destiny to be a servant to my family.”
“But Neji-niisan came to learn that his life was not predetermined. He spent his childhood believing that his father was sacrificed for mine, but he learned that he was wrong. He had free will. So somewhere down that road, Neji-niisan chose to become my protector. He trained with me, took care of me when I was sick, and was there for me when I needed a listening ear.” Hinata let out an awkward laugh. “I suppose the rest is history.”
Sasuke mulled over her words for a moment before he stood up and turned to look at her properly – for the first time in about a decade. Hyuuga Hinata stood before him in a modest long-sleeved white shirt and black joggers. Her indigo hair was much longer than he had remembered, and it flowed in the wind like threads of silk. But what really captured his attention was her glossy eyes. They were framed by long eyelashes, and her pale lavender orbs reflected her painfully raw emotions. She was hurting, but at the same time there was resignation in her eyes. Hyuuga Hinata was an open book, at least to him.
“You’re still grieving,” he observed. As if a dam within her had broken, tears spilled from Hinata’s eyes, and she frantically wiped them away with her sleeve. “I’ve been trying to move on since the war ended. I t-think I have made peace with his choice, but sometimes it still hurts…”
There was a long pause, punctuated only by Hinata’s sniffles. “I’m sorry,” she said and took a deep breath to calm herself down. Sasuke watched her silently. His expression did not betray his thoughts. Hinata then broke out into a smile, even as a tear slid down her face. “I’m sorry, Uchiha-san. I just… haven’t talked to anyone about Neji-niisan for a long time. I think people are scared to bring him up in a conversation with me.” She forced out a laugh at the last part, but Sasuke saw right through it.
“Look, Hinata.” Hinata’s eyes widened a fraction at the way her name spilled from his lips. Sasuke took a step towards her. It did not escape his notice that now, a decade later, he was a full head taller than her.
“If there’s anything I learned over the years, it is that it’s impossible to move on from these things.”
Another step forward. “The grief we carry with us,” he said as he placed his hand to his chest, “is there to stay.” He paused as the memories of his adolescence flashed through his mind. “It can manifest in different forms, but over time it will settle into a dull ache. And we will just have to live with that for the rest of our lives.”
Hinata blinked away her tears and took a long searching look at Sasuke. Something about him was different from what she remembered. Whilst she remembered him for his sharp, calculative eyes, his gaze towards her at this moment was – dare she say it – soft. She smiled at his words, but Sasuke could tell that it was bittersweet. Her smile was sincere, but it did not quite reach her eyes.
Hinata opened her mouth to croak out a few words of gratitude, but before she could get a word out, Sasuke walked past her in a few strides.
“Take care, Hinata,” she heard him say.
She spun around, his name at the tip of her tongue, but Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. He had vanished into thin air and left not a trace behind, leaving Hinata to wonder if it was possible she had imagined their entire encounter.
This is real, she reminded herself.
Uchiha Sasuke was back, even if it was just for a moment, and they had just had their first conversation with each other. The way it ended left a sour taste in Hinata’s mouth, and regret slowly started welling up in her. She cursed herself for letting her emotions take control of her body.
By now, the sun had set and the graveyard was enveloped in darkness. Hinata activated her Byakugan to see if she could locate Sasuke, but to her disappointment, she could not find him. Hinata let out a long sigh and began her journey back to the Hyuuga compound. She decided that Naruto was not going to hear about her encounter with Sasuke. She would lock this memory in the chambers of her heart and guard it like a forbidden treasure.
After all, she might never see him again.