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Grace knew there were no moon phases in space. What he didn’t know was how that would affect his overall physiology.
On one hand this is pretty cool because on Earth his transformations would force him to disappear for a while and sometimes it was really inconvenient. He missed a lot of school/college and work days like this.
On the other hand, he still needs to shift from time to time or his body starts to hurt and his mind doesn't work as well.
But this is Grace we're talking about, he forgets to eat and sleep if he’s in his workflow so he's obviously going to forget about shifting until his bones ache so bad he feels like they're going to dissolve inside his body.
At first, post amnesia, he had a few of issues shifting, his body felt wrong in both shapes and his transformation time was longer.
Once Rocky invited himself to the Hail Mary, he had a really fun time explaining were-people to the eridian.
“Humans get to have two shapes?” Rocky asked, his carapace hard and unchanging.
No. Not all humans. But most of them.
In retrospective, Grace's penchant of sharing knowledge would come back to bite him in the ass.
Rocky was very good at keeping track of the time and he had a wonderful memory, which meant that he could monitor Grace's habits and scold him for not taking care of himself.
Despite hating the act of human eating, he always drags (or more like pushes) Grace to eat when he must. When the human starts saying stupid things, he has to guess if it's because of lack of sleep or because his lycanthropy is catching up to him.
Sometimes it’s both, those days Rocky sits with a fox wrapped around his xenonite ball in the Don't Go Crazy Room.
It's nice because Fox Grace makes less noise than human Grace and a lot of these noises are vibrations.
They had a routine, where Grace focused so hard on science he let go of himself and Rocky had to take care of a grown ass man (despite being so young in eridian years, that was weird to think about).
That is until they find Simon.
Simon, who is really suspicious of Grace and deathly afraid of everything, even Rocky.
The first month or so of Simon's recovery, Grace didn't dare to shift at all, paranoid about Simon needing help and him not being able to offer it in an animal shape.
As Simon got better, health wise (not that much mentally wise) he started opening up to Rocky, but was still really jumpy and on edge when Grace approached him.
Grace reasoned that Rocky was better at befriending the man because he wasn't human and he had no understanding of etiquette. He also theorized that Simon liked the eridian language, but he couldn't confirm that because Simon was still discreetly avoiding him.
It was so, so frustrating and sad and it was making his touch starvation so much worse, but he would never force himself on Simon so he just resorted to complaining to Rocky.
Rocky understands the need to be with your own species but he can't quite grasp Grace's want for it, bordering on excessive. Humans are pack animals, that he knew, he just didn't expect it would ever show itself like this.
Over time Grace's touch starvation gets so bad that he starts getting obsessed over Simon.
He stares at him for long amounts of time, which may be scaring the man even more. Grace keeps tabs on Simon's routine, when he eats, when he tries to sleep (he gets a lot of night terrors), when he reads, and even tries to give him food or books when the stipulated time comes around.
It's making Simon's paranoia worse.
It's so bad that it also starts to bother Rocky, whose questions often go unanswered because Grace is looking at Simon to see what he's reading. Or when Grace hands him rushed calculations full of mistakes because he just HAD to go look for Simon because he hadn't seen the man for the last 20 minutes.
Rocky can only deal with so much, Grace is his best friend but this was like watching his brain slowly leave his body in real time and he couldn't allow that, he needed his science partner back.
The eridian then declared it was official Mandated Fox Time for Grace. The human fought him about it for a bit, reasoning that it may scare Simon. That is until Rocky reminded Grace of the bloody submarine they found their new crewmate in.
Fair, a fox wouldn't probably scare him.
It still was a weird thing to do for Grace. He had never mentioned it and it was kind of… intimate to him, this other shape of his. It felt vulnerable and he had no issue with Rocky because he trusted Rocky with his life, but this new human… that’s another whole thing. Most times when he shifted he was totally lucid and retained full mental capacities, but there were other times his brain decided to let go for a bit and the instincts won over him.
Rocky kept pushing, tired, so tired of Grace hurting himself because he trips when distracted, tired of sleepless nights because Grace couldn't concentrate on his equations, just because he didn’t want to do this easy thing his body was asking for.
And honestly, Rocky had grown attached to the other human too, and Simon had confessed to him in private that Grace was freaking him out. This is no state to be in when trapped inside a ship and on the way to live together on a foreign planet.
Grace ended up agreeing to Rocky's request, full 24 earth hours of Fox Time, free roam on the ship. Rocky had celebrated when he conceded, making jazz hands and dropping his body on the floor dramatically while he mimicked a human sigh. It only took like 40 minutes to convince Grace.
Unfortunately, neither of them remembered to inform their new crewmate of this change of routine.
Which lead to a very confused Simon who had been approached by a shifted Grace, who was still monitoring him like a creep.
Mind you, animals were really scarce in Eden and this big they were totally unheard of. Simon knew what a fox was, he had known even before he had been given access to Earth’s Internet. But he hadn't contextualized them as something real. For him those animals existed in a galaxy far away and he would never see one.
Grace had been partially unaware of his actions, had let routine guide him towards Simon without contemplating how he looked at the moment. A slight misshapen on his part, will probably happen again.
However, unlike when he was in his human shape, this time Simon didn't discreetly bolt out of the room. Instead he turned his head to the side and looked at the fox. Grace barked at him, it was reading time and he wanted to know if Simon had finished the last book. Grace was an animal fond of his routines, the four paws and smaller size wouldn't stop him.
Simon backed up a bit at the bark but Grace was far too gone for decorum so he approached and bit softly on his pant leg, trying to tug him to his usual reading spot in the lab, with Grace and Rocky, as Simon seemed to be fond of parallel play.
Simon let himself be guided, sat with his book where he was expected to and soon he had a lap full of fox. He was taking everything in stride, always really good at adapting and only looking mildly confused.
Grace was over the moon, finally getting to touch the other human, even if it was only his little body on top of Simon's legs. He could smell him and hear his heartbeat and he was so, so glad that Simon had survived the submarine.
It got even better when the man rested his book against Grace’s body and used his only hand to softly pet him, almost no pressure, like he was scared.
Grace, as a were-fox, was strong but surely Simon didn't know that. His body may seem soft and brittle but that was because he was using his small shape. His other bigger, actual shape, the one he should be shifting into if the rooms weren't so small, was a lot stronger too. Simon would probably not like that one. It was the shape that Grace needed to really shift into in order to pop his joints tho.
As it is, beggars can't be choosers. And right now he’s the luckiest beggar in light years because Simon is so gentle and so warm and he's finally letting Grace close. He lets out a “mmrrhn” sound as he furrows himself further into Simon, pressing his head against his stomach and dropping the book that had been balanced on his body. He wasn't sorry about that, his eyes closed as he breathed Simon in. He wanted to crawl into his skin.
That was creepy, Grace never expected himself to be such a freak when faced with the possibility of being unable to touch another person.
Sure, he could feel Rocky over the xenonite but it wasn’t skin to skin contact. Except that one time. He doesn't want to think about it. The fur never grew back on that leg but he didn’t regret one second of it.
Simon huffed softly after watching the book fall. Grace would apologize about it in 23 hours, once the petting of his fur no longer melted his bones rendering him unable to move.
To Grace’s surprise and horrifying realization, Simon knew he was the fox. It was a mix of Simon being smart and there being a suspicious lack of Grace whenever there was an overflow of fox.
But he still avoided human-shaped Grace like the plague. Mind you, this man had let him lay his little fox body on top of him, had carried him around the ship like those little white dogs old women carry in purses and had petted him nonstop.
Yet when Grace, human body Grace, tried to approach him to finally strike conversation and explain his whole demeanor, Simon had looked hesitant and had successfully escaped by excusing himself to the bathroom. The liar didn't even fake going into the bathroom, he just ran from Grace to the plants room.
He understood that his fox shape was cuter, but really, was he that unsightly or overwhelming that Simon could only handle him when he couldn't speak? Worst realization of the day.
Then it clicked. Simon wasn't afraid of Grace, he was afraid of humans in general. It made sense, Simon himself hadn't told him anything, but he noticed Rocky's animosity towards Earth had become a bit more aggressive and hateful and Grace added two plus two. Simon, much like Grace, must have had a bad experience with other humans that shaped him so horribly that he was the touch averse to Grace's touch starved. It was so disheartening and unfair, Grace had been happy with being the only unwilling sacrifice for the stars, he didn't want another to be sent like him.
But that was an issue for future Grace, a Grace that would hopefully be able to talk freely with Simon, without the other man tensing and avoiding every topic that was non food related.
Back to his were-fox dilemma. If Simon was scared of humans but not scared of animals, Grace only needed to show him that his human self was as friendly and approachable as his fox self. It was him! All his personality was intact, so if Simon had liked the fox as much as it looked like he did, he would grow to like human Grace eventually too!
So he started shifting more frequently. Sometimes several times a day. He tried to show himself as much as possible, entering and exiting rooms in both forms so Simon could get used to seeing him, hopefully his brain linking human and fox Grace together.
Tho he couldn't blame him for having a soft spot for his fox form, Simon was a gentle soul like that, he even found some plants cute. No wonder he liked picking Grace up and such. That was Grace’s favorite and worst moment of the day because he felt like a pervert every time Simon held him against his… plentiful… chest…
Horrible thoughts for a man that hasn't seen another human in 16 years to be having. He's lucky he’s not that into sex or he fears he would have died of loneliness otherwise. The effect Simon's touch has on him is getting worrying.
He hopes Rocky won’t tease him too bad once he asks for help. Again. For the same issue as always.
Turns out Rocky wont have to suffer for a long time, since Simon warms up to human Grace after two months of co-living. The man still gets triggered by small things but Grace has learned to interpret his moods and his triggers with just minimal staring now.
Simon doesn't do well with much water, he likes periodically looking at the stars to check if they're still there, avoids reflective surfaces and he barely eats. Grace doesn't know if he doesn't need to, if he's used to small rations or if he’s not eating because their reserves are dwindling. He's working on it! In fact, it’s going faster than ever since now he can concentrate a lot better, no longer obsessed with getting Simon to like him.
As much as the man has come to warm up to Grace, he knows his fox form is still preferred sometimes. He takes no insult to it, always happy to get cuddles and touches he wouldn't get otherwise. It’s specially so whenever Simon gets a nightmare and he wakes up mumbling about things they haven't talked about yet. Those nights, Grace has taken to share his cot with Simon while in fox form, sleeping on the man’s chest as a weight or just letting himself be smothered like a loved plushie.
He discovered that he was pretty okay with Simon grabbing and hugging him, he thought that being trapped this way would trigger something in him, but Simon had a caution and softness to his touch that made Grace feel safe.
Getting pinned to the ground, held on and drugged against his will was not the same as being cradled like a baby, dropped into a bed and then being surrounded by warmth and one arm tugging him towards a soft chest. It just wasn't comparable, he didn't feel trapped at all with Simon, even if he surrounded him from all sides. In fact, Grace liked it a lot and he was aware that the situation wouldn't have been possible if he was in his human shape, since Simon was shorter than him.
They didn't have this level of trust and intimacy when Grace was human, it bothered him a bit but he was sure it wouldn't stay like that forever. He was happy to let Simon open up to him at his own peace, his happiness was more valuable that Grace's greediness.
Meanwhile Simon thinks that Grace choosing to interact with him in his fox form is a way to show his trust.
This form is so small and vulnerable, that Simon takes Grace curling up to him as an intimate act, as an “I trust you not to hurt my brittle bones despite knowing you're made for violence”.
So he cherishes those moments a lot. It's true that he has a bit of a difficult time connecting human Grace and fox Grace, as his brain sees human Grace as more capable of betraying him, despite being the same person and never showing anything but kindness.
Still, the whole staring and keeping track of every action Simon does is a bit unsettling, a bit too reminiscent of prison guards and religious fathers.
He really wants to ask Grace to stop doing that and just talk to him normally. He’s not stupid, he can see how much Grace wants to befriend him but the way he's doing it, it's raising every danger signal in his brain.
There's only a few months left to reach Erid and Grace spends more time as a fox than he does as a human. Says he doesn't need as much food in this shape, which is partially true but his ribs are showing and his fur is falling out and the ridges of his spine are visible.
Simon no longer picks him up or cuddles up to him, which only sours Grace's mood even more.
Rocky is really close to dying of worry seeing Grace sleep so much, thinking back to his crewmates who never woke up again. He even found one fox teeth dropped on the floor, Grace slowly deteriorating so much his body was eating itself.
Simon is doing a lot better, so much better that it can no longer be excused as being used to small rations. Sure, he lost muscle mass and he's also more lethargic, but his ribs are only starting to show now and his stomach is not as caved in as Grace's is.
Rocky is glad he can't see like humans can, because hearing his best friend’s organs get slower and work worse over time is terrifying enough, he would hate to see Grace's body change too.
Overall the trip to Erid is an awful and terrific experience for all of them, physically and emotionally. Grace already knows he will be ten times clingier if he survives it.
Fortunately, he does survive.
Unfortunately, it takes months and months of trial and error synthesized food, of IVs, bed rest and other aids to get back some semblance of healthiness. He forces himself to shift into his human body so the eridians can have an easier time monitoring him, as there's more information on human health than on fox health.
He's asked to move once in a while so his muscles stay active but he's also scolded when he overworks himself. He's dying to speed up his recovery so he can help with the bio-dome, their food and everything else needed but his body is not cooperating. Simon was up and around sooner than him, his body regenerating faster and leaving Grace to fend for himself against his own body.
He wants to see the bio-dome so bad, he wants to get out of the hospital bed to eat tasteless food and just do science again, return to a sense of self. He might even join Simon on his workout routine since they both need it to make up for Erid’s gravity and their starving.
The first time he feels good enough to shift back into a fox form, he instantly yowls from the cot he's been confined to, trying to get either Rocky or Simon's attention. His pitch is high enough that he scares some of the eridian doctors nearby. He’s sure Rocky heard him now.
Said and done, Rocky stumbles into the room, clearly worried at his scream. Grace wants to feel bad but he can't, he wanted the attention of his best friend back. Rocky scolds him softly for the noise and for making him leave the bio-dome related meeting because he thought Grace was hurt. Grace knows Rocky is not really mad, just stating facts.
The man only drops his ears and makes puppy eyes at him, looking to make the scolding shorter. Rocky cannot see it so it clearly doesn't work, he still gets his good 20 minutes of nonstop eridian reproaches.
Once Rocky has calmed down enough, Grace stands on his back paws and uses the leverage to flop his upper body on top of Rocky, mimicking a human hug. Rocky wraps two of his limbs around Grace's no longer as visible ribs and keeps on talking to him.
He talks about the sand, the fake sky, the house, Simon's and Adrian's unexpected friendship, joking that “mates get along, it's destined to be”.
Grace scoffs at that and wants to ask about Armando and Mary, about the fog, the beach and how many stairs it takes to reach their house. He wonders if they're making him and Simon different houses and prays to whatever god there is that eridians consider them mates and just place the humans together, so Grace can act stupid and take advantage, at least for a few days.
He knows Rocky won't be able to be with him 24/7 anymore so he's hanging onto the possibility of Simon staying with him.
Rocky updates him on everything, looks at Grace's health checks and discusses them with him as much as he can with a non verbal Grace. He tells him he will be able to leave the hospital soon. Grace beams at that and lets out a loud barking laugh.
From then on, he spends as much time as he can on his fox form, arguing that it feels swifter and he can move better like this.
It's true, but only to an extent. He’s also using his fox form to get pets and extra time outside the room from Simon. The other man is allowed to take Grace on trips on the bio-dome as far as he doesn't let Grace roam around alone and brings him back under 30 minutes. Simon takes this job, like every other job he's assigned, very seriously. Despite having a soft spot for fox shaped Grace, he never relents to Grace's wishes of letting him stretch his legs. Simon grips the fox harder against his chest and that usually shuts Grace up.
Neither of them are stupid, they both know they have something weird doing on, but that's something they'll have time to discuss once they've settled.
Once Grace is cleared from the hospital room, the first reckless thing he does is run. He runs in his human form into the bio-dome, towards the beach. He scares Rocky so much the eridian almost trips over his own limbs, Simon, sharp as always, took off after Grace immediately, even if the beach had him on edge.
Grace shifted mid run, something he hadn’t been able to do since he was a teen, and he barked excitedly. Once he reached the shore, he jumped a bit, splashing on the waves before running back again towards Simon and Rocky, who had managed to catch up to them.
Grace faked a bite at Rocky, as if he were inviting him to play, knowing Simon and big bodies of water weren't compatible anymore.
Rocky moved his claws in a biting gesture back to Grace and joined him closer to the shore. His excitement was contagious.
Once he got tired of back and forth chasing with Rocky, he ran back towards Simon, panting with his fur totally wet, and jumped on him. The man caught him midair despite making a disgusted face, Grace was probably the first wet animal he ever touched.
That made Grace feel something close to cuteness aggression, he opened his maw and softly clamped his teeth over Simon's hand, whatever he could reach. He never bit hard, just graced his teeth over Simon's skin again and again trying to get rid of the feeling. It wasn't enough and he tried to softly clamp his muzzle over Simon's face but was quickly pushed back with a “Disgusting” from his victim . He couldn't help himself. He tried to lick Simon instead, getting even a worse reaction, with the man grabbing him by his armpits and separating him from his body.
Grace let out a high pitched noise of complaint, trying to be as annoying as possible. It didn’t work, Simon deposited him on top of Rocky, arguing that he smelt weird and was acting weirder.
He was right, Grace probably smelled like wet dog and he had tried to get his tongue on Simon's face so he certainly deserved time out for it. He didn't regret it one bit, tho. Maybe one day Simon would let him close to his face. Close enough so he could see the star on his left eye, close enough so he could breathe the same air and close enough that he could finally get to kiss him.
Huh, those were some big thoughts .
Rocky, now wearing a form fitting xenonite suit, cradled the fox in two of his limbs like one would hold a human baby, paws up, while he jokingly scolded Simon for “Being mean to soggy disgusting Grace”.
Simon tried to counter that sentence by highlighting that was also a mean thing to say, which Rocky made a warbled sound like scoffing and rebutted with something along the lines of “Grace is Rocky's leaky space blob and he's allowed to be wet and disgusting on Erid because he had best friend privileges”. Grace scoffed, as if Rocky also wouldn't give Simon the same privilege. Still, it felt nice to be defended, even if Simon was right. He barked loud and short as if nodding along to Rocky's words, and the eridian turned around sharply and walked towards the house, finishing the conversation dramatically.
They both knew Simon would follow, loyal and craving friends like he was.
Because that’s what he was, a gentle, loyal human and Grace hadn't experienced that in decades. If Carl had been loyal to him, he wouldn't have watched while they pinned him to the ground and drugged him. If Stratt had been loyal to him, maybe she would have looked for alternatives. But Grace knew that wasn't quite right, wasn't it? Both Carl and Stratt had been loyal to humanity, something larger than Grace himself. It was the right choice, the only choice, he understood it. Yet, he can't help but fantasize about a world where he's chosen over humanity.
He knew no one could do that. But fantasies were fantasies for a reason, they calmed your heart and soothed over irritated wounds, a positive “what if” that brings hope.
Maybe Rocky would sacrifice civilization for Grace. Grace would totally let the Earth die if it meant saving Rocky.
What a selfish way of thinking, no wonder they sent him to space with an amnesia so strong that it still plagued his mind to this day.
He let those thoughts leave, focusing on the present, on the house in front of him. Those were a lot of steps they were climbing, that's not good, he needs to work out asap. Or just use his bigger shape.
Oh wait, he would totally be able to stretch his limbs now, the bio-dome was huge and it had a lot of space to move around, he would be able to finally fulfill his species’ needs!
But maybe he would wait until Simon was truly well and settled. Eridians and foxes were not conventionally scary but who knows what he would think of Grace's more… distorted? Shape. Don't get him wrong, he knows this is normal for were-people but after talking with Simon and being explained that “no animals” meant “no half animal people” in his world… yeah maybe neither of them were ready. It was a nice plan to look forward to! Maybe Simon would be interested in seeing it, like Grace is interested in his mutations.
He thrashed around and Rocky set him free, complaining once again about how disgusting it was when Grace dragged his fox tongue over his xenonite suit as a kiss.
“Wet slimy and long, gets suit dirty, horrible action but Rocky tolerates because I know it’s affection. Show affection other ways” the eridian asks.
Which is of no use to Grace because he already hugs Rocky plenty when in human form and his other type of affection was quality time together and they spent years plastered to each other already.
Grace didn't want to think about that specific brand of affection of his that bordered on obsessive and seemed to be directed specifically at Simon.
As soon as they're at the door, Grace bolts inside, paws almost slipping on the floors, something they took note of and would have to fix later.
He checked every room, ammonia smell so strong he couldn't wait to get rid of, because something in his brain made him think that other were-fox had been around pissing on his stuff to mark territory like an actual animal instead of a half person.
He wanted eridians to learn how to make scented candles, he's sure they would have fun with that. Maybe they wouldn't like the fire part, tho.
He walked around looking for something in specific, the number of bedrooms there were, to check if Simon would be staying with him or if he had another house.
If the man did have another house, Grace could be a grown man and accept it, taking it as it was, Simon needed privacy and respite from overeager him. That didn't mean he wouldn't try to convince him to have sleepovers… just to experience what it would be like to live with another human.
The house had a kitchen, a living room, two bathrooms, two bedrooms and a spare room, maybe an office or lab? It had no furniture so the eridians probably left it there for them to decide.
Two bedrooms, two bathrooms… that had to mean Simon was sharing a house with him, right?
He ran back to Rocky and Simon, who was listening to the eridian’s explanation of every piece of furniture as if he was an interior designer. Turns out there ARE eridians who are interior designers, they just don't understand human feng shui and other arrangements like that, so Rocky got to work on that based on the movies they've seen together.
The slippery floor made him crash into Rocky when he tried to stop his run, lowly grumbling what could be interpreted as a sorry to his friend, who just stomped one limb to the ground at being interrupted.
“Fixing floor tomorrow, Grace will crash against furniture and die otherwise” he said.
Grace made an offended expression, he would NOT do that. At least not in front of Simon, that would be an embarrassing death and he wanted to at least look cool once in his life. Even if it was at the end of it.
Simon took mercy of him and picked him up. He was so nice, instead of asking Grace to change back into his less clumsy, still grace-less human shape, he just carried his fox form, still slightly wet.
He dropped one heavy hand to Grace's head, rattling his brain. Oof. He won’t complain tho, touch is still touch, he just had to make sure to brace for impact next time or ask Simon to be mindful, he's sure the man wouldn't have any issues with that.
Rocky then, to Grace's delight, confirmed that Simon was going to live with him, pointing to the door in front of the room Grace had been assigned earlier. He yipped and wagged his tail, he wasn't going to be alone when Rocky left. Sure, Simon would never be a replacement for Rocky but Grace had different social needs that didn't need to be fulfilled by one friend specifically.
Except human touch, that one did imply needing Simon specifically for it.
Speaking about his touch starvation,he was doing so much better now, he no longer felt the need to follow Simon everywhere, and he could even work without ever wondering where the other man was. Sometimes they sat together touching arms or legs, and Simon had even let Grace place a hand on his lower back or his shoulders.
He could say that he was almost cured, and the only thing he felt was absolute greed and selfishness, he had the basic contact he needed but he craved more, always more.
Whenever that craving approached, he just shifted into Fox Mode, as Simon called it, and let himself be manhandled like a princess.
It should have hurt his ego, but he didn't have one anymore after his life's scientific theory was proven incorrect. Sue him for not complaining about a handsome man pampering him.
Even if sometimes he felt guilty of maybe manipulating Simon into human contact by abusing the man’s soft spot for animals and plants.
They would sooner or later need to talk about that, about what the were-fox part of Grace means, because he thinks Simon doesn't quite grasp the whole of it. Not because he's stupid, Simon is smart and can keep up with Grace in non scientific settings, but because this thing is an intrinsically part of Grace.
Ingrained in his genetics and so rooted into his being that it's hard to understand if you don’t experience it yourself. Maybe he can use that conversation to approach the topic of “ Hey by the way, I know you like my fluffy small version but i kind of need to go crazy in my big, still fluffy but slightly fudged up shape sometimes”
That's gonna be fun for future Grace. For now present Grace is happy enough just resting against Simon while they explore the new house together, a new life for both.
Normally he would dread any deep emotional conversation, but this time, only this time, he was looking forward to talking with Simon about everything, from his genetics to his traumas and his wishes from now on. He was eager to hear back about Simon too, about his needs and wants, his thoughts on Grace and their new life, his backstory, his mistakes and the things that kept him up at night.
He wanted to know it all and for once in his life, he didn't feel as scared.