Chapter Text
After the kids made it back from Amphoreus, Welt had noticed that Sunday was being unusually elusive. During the crisis, he had stayed right by Welt’s side, helping out in whatever ways he could while the crew brought itself back together and braced against the threat of Irontomb. Now though, the Express’s newest addition had distanced himself, and Welt wasn’t quite sure what to do. He felt responsible for the wayward soul, even if he understood the responsibility was self-imposed. During dinners all together, Welt tried to bring Sunday into conversations, but the younger man seemed hesitant to engage. One random night, he caught Sunday relaxing in the parlor car, stargazing; when he tried to strike up small talk however, Sunday immediately excused himself, politely but firmly.
Welt finally realized Sunday was avoiding him specifically when he had gone looking for Dan Heng with an archival question, and found him, Stelle, March and Sunday all in Stelle’s room playing some heavily modified version of chess that somehow involved cards. Welt hadn’t meant to intrude, he had knocked and Stelle let him in, he certainly would never barge in. Yet, when he saw Sunday’s open expression quickly fall when he entered, he felt like he had. The others’ excited chatter at his arrival went practically unnoticed. Once he got his answer from Dan Heng, he said his goodbyes, Sunday’s eyes on the floor the whole time.
It bothered him. Probably more than it should. Sunday hadn’t even stated his intent to stay with the Express – he was still a temporary passenger, just trying to find his way. Yet Welt couldn’t stop thinking about it. Had he done something wrong? Had he overstepped? He knew the two of them had a rocky start to their relationship, but he thought they were past the whole “threats of gravitational obliteration” thing. Welt let himself stew and replay all of their interactions since Penacony for two nights before he steeled himself for a confrontation. He was an adult, dammit, and what kind of a role model would he be if he couldn’t even ask why his fellow passenger was avoiding him? After dinner, when Himeko went off to experiment with coffee and the kids darted off to make up another strange game, he planned to catch Sunday before the younger man could hide away.
He hadn’t meant to literally catch him, of course. However, when the meal had wrapped up and Sunday had pretended not to hear Welt call his name, quickly grabbing him by the arm seemed like the only solution. He had done it completely on impulse. It shocked the both of them – Welt dropping his hold on the angel as soon as he processed Sunday’s shocked expression. Alone together in the car, Welt cleared his throat and apologized, expression sheepish and privately glad the rest of the crew had already left.
Sunday just stared wordlessly at the spot on his arm where Welt’s hand had been.
“I really am sorry, Sunday. I didn’t mean to grab you. I won’t make such a careless mistake again. It’s just- I… think we need to have a discussion about your behavior recently.”
Sunday huffed quietly and only met Welt’s gaze briefly before dropping it again.
“A ‘discussion about my behavior’? Mr. Yang, I think you have me confused with a child.”
“That- I’m sorry, that isn’t what I meant to imply. I only meant, if I’ve done anything wrong, anything that would lead you to avoid me, I think we should talk it out instead of letting the problem linger. We are both adults, after all.”
Sunday looked… almost embarrassed? Welt wasn’t quite sure what to say while his newest crew member shifted uneasily in his boots, so he stayed quiet while Sunday chewed on his words.
“Mr. Yang, I… being here, as a passenger on the express, it has been a very educating and clarifying experience. Overall, a positive one. But every journey into the unknown will come with… uncomfortable discoveries. I, well…”
Sunday trailed off and grit his teeth; gaze locked on the floor. After a few beats of silence, Welt tried prompting him.
“’Uncomfortable discoveries’?”
Sunday tried clearing his throat and ended up coughing into a closed fist. His eyes darted up into Welt’s concerned ones and then away again, this time seeming to study the wall.
“I’m uncertain how much you know about my upbringing, but, it was, suffice it to say… abnormal. Most of my childhood I was without standard parental figures – Gopher Wood was really more of a teacher than a da- ahem. More of a teacher than a father, despite raising my sister and I from a young age. Seeing how you interact with the younger members of the crew, and how much they love and respect you, it makes me feel oddly…”
Sunday again trailed off, and Welt took a moment to try and understand. He thought he had a decent idea what the poor man meant; he wanted to hear the rest of Sunday’s thoughts though. Instead of taking the conversation over, he simply supplied,
“Sad?”
Sunday’s eyes flashed and finally held Welt’s steadily.
“Envious.”
Now it was Welt’s turn to be awkwardly shifting on his feet while he thought of something to say.
“I’m not quite sure what to say.”
Great job, genius! His mouth had run ahead of his mind, and he hoped it wasn’t obvious he was mentally kicking himself. He couldn’t quite identify the look in the other man’s eyes – fiery, yet still somehow abashed. Sunday seemed to be holding eye contact as if it were a vital contest he would lose should he look away again; his body language seemed tense, as if before a fight.
“Envious they get, and have already gotten, so much of your attention and- and affection.”
Welt paused and took in Sunday’s stiff posture again. There was something here he just was not getting. He was going to need Sunday to be more direct.
“I assume, hopefully not presumptuously, that’s because… you are jealous of the fact they have me as a father figure? But, if you wanted the type of attention they receive, why have you been avoiding me?”
Sunday sharply inhales and loses his one-sided staring contest, now deciding he should study Welt’s shoes instead.
“It’s shameful. The way I covet your attention.”
“I don’t think it’s shameful to want to be a part of a family, Sunday.” Welt chuckles softly.
“Neither do I.”
“Well, then, I’m confused again. Why are you ashamed of wanting to spend more time with me?”
“Mr. Yang, please don’t be dense.”
A blush had stolen its way up Sunday’s neck and across his cheeks as he dared to make eye contact again, even while his fists were still clenched at his side. Welt was still at a loss; his mind was racing to organize the things Sunday had said, his expressions, his past – grasping at straws for any plausible reason for his avoidance.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to be more up front with me, Sunday.”
“Mr. Yang, the way I covet your attention is- its mortifying! More than that, its mortifying and it feels wrong. Yet I have always been the one receiving confessions, never giving them, and even if I were to confess, I’m not even sure who could absolve me of this… this entirely inappropriate fixation!”
Sunday had been gesturing wildly with his hands, but once he ran out of words, they dropped limply at his sides as he took in Welt’s gently shocked expression. Sunday took a deep breath and shut his eyes, his face and the tips of his ears blushing bright red as he hung his head and hid his face in his wings. Things had finally clicked in the back of Welt’s head, and he felt foolish it took the younger man yelling ‘inappropriate fixation’ for him to get it. Entirely inappropriate fixation. He turned the words over and over in his thoughts. It was, well, to say ‘unexpected’ would be putting it lightly.
It had been a long while since anyone had been attracted to him – that he knew of, at least. Things were so hectic, trailblazing kept him constantly on the move, and he felt so old. His life felt impossibly long – even if, by cosmic standards, he was still quite young. There were only so many world-ending tragedies one could combat without feeling aged. He knew, and occasionally regretted, that this impacted the way he handled his relationships with those he met on the silver rail. Despite looking younger than he was, his actions placed him firmly in a respected old mentor role rather than a new friend you might crush on. Not to mention his last love had been… complicated.
Entirely inappropriate fixation. Welt felt as though Sunday had pulled the phrase somewhere deep from Welt’s own ashamed subconscious as he briefly reflected on how hurt he was when the younger man had started avoiding him, and how badly he wanted his attention back. As he took in how Sunday looked now – still blushing, head hung, the small wings by his ears covering his eyes – well, the younger man was beautiful. There was no arguing that. It feels wrong. He could agree with that too. It did feel a touch uncouth. But, what was actually wrong with mutual attraction between two adults? He nodded his head ‘yes’ unconsciously as he reasoned with himself.
“Sunday, look at me please.”
The sweet angel blushed harder but did what he was told, mouth drawn in a thin line, eyes still a battle between embarrassment and something akin to defensiveness. Welt smiled softly and slowly raised his hand to place it on Sunday’s shoulder.
“There’s nothing wrong with mutual attraction between two adults. If it’s what you want, I’d be open to exploring a relationship with you.”
Lord have mercy, I sound like an old man. He had thought up neutral, reasonable sounding wording in an effort to not scare the already nervous Sunday, but… hearing his words actually come out, he felt like he was talking about a business deal. Maybe just a touch more emotion.
“I really like you, Sunday. You’re intelligent, witty, and gorgeous, and I want our conversations back, and-”
Sunday cut him off with a gloved hand over his mouth. Too much emotion?
“Th-that’s enough, Mr. Yang…”
Welt dropped both his arms harmlessly at his side and waited patiently for Sunday to overcome his embarrassment again. Waiting like this wasn’t bad at all – Sunday had stepped in closer in order to quickly cover his mouth, and having that blushing face and fluttering wings so close to him was… enjoyable. The younger man didn’t take his hand off Welt’s mouth as he tried to muster up the ability to speak again.
Cute. That’s all Welt could think. He’s so cute like this.
Sunday must have felt the older man’s smile blooming under his glove, because he pulled his hand away and tried smiling back. It didn’t really quite work – Welt wasn’t exactly an adept at reading faces, but he knew what the angel’s smile was tangled in thorns for some reason.
Maybe because you’ve freaked him out. No, definitely because you freaked him out.
He longed to ask questions, to get to the root of these vines constricting this lovely man’s emotions, but Sunday had clearly had enough embarrassment. Time to move on, for now. Welt thought this conversation went pretty well, all things considered. He now knew – or at least, had an idea – what it was Sunday wanted. He was more than happy to oblige.
“Let’s continue this conversation in my room, Sunday.”
The request seemed to spark something behind the angel’s eyes, and he swallowed hard before nodding his head in acquiescence.
He likes it when I’m direct, then.
Welt turns and starts the short walk to his door, quickly reflecting on everything Sunday had told him. Every hint as to what kind of affection he was… “inappropriately fixated” on.
He wants more of my attention, but gets embarrassed by compliments.
It was incredibly cute when the angel blushed, but Welt knew he shouldn’t over-do it. He would hate it if the younger man got too mortified and ran off. Best to hold that back, for a bit.
His self-proclaimed envy of the kids. The mention of Gopherwood, his lack of a real father figure. He stopped himself from saying Dad.
That, really, was the most interesting part. And how to balance it? Welt wasn’t sure, had never had anyone find him desirable because they saw him as paternal. He felt himself wave off the gravity well lock on his door on autopilot, and knew before he turned around, he’d see Sunday trailing obediently behind him. He opened the door and held it.
“After you, my dear.”
The smaller man blushed even deeper and went inside with a small “thank you.”
Get out of your own head.
Welt shut and gravity locked the door.