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Sanji's eyes kept darting over to the prone figure in the farther corner of the room. Everything in him screamed about how wrong this picture was. Zoro should have been brandishing his swords on the deck, sweat dripping from his naked chest, or napping in the open area, making anyone careless enough trip over his long legs and fall face-first down, or barging into the kitchen like he owned the place and demanding a bottle of sake. Or even saying something incredibly rude or stupid as usual, making Sanji go nuclear and engage him in a fight. Instead, he was lying here motionless, looking like death warmed over. In a matter of days or hours, death would take him away for good. And there was nothing Sanji could do to stop it.
***
The concept of soulmates had always been sacred to Sanji, ever since he was a small and naive child. His mother would tell him stories about two people meant for each other, about how the universe worked in magical and mysterious ways to draw the destined souls together, and how he would never be left alone because somewhere in the world, someone was waiting just for him. Little Sanji used to furrow his brows, protesting that he would always have his mother, so he would never be alone anyway. His mother smiled at him, her eyes turning sad.
Life quickly taught Sanji that always didn't, in fact, mean eternity; people died and left Sanji behind. His heart, broken so cruelly and at such an early age, clung to the idea of soulmates as a cherished memory of his late mother. It gave him hope where there was none to be found, provided fuel for his brain to fantasize about a better future with the person meant just for him when the tortures and taunts and traumas became too much to bear, and brought comfort and warmth to the cold, bitter, and loveless days of his youth. He was determined to survive the horrors of his present, make his dream of finding All Blue come true, and share it with his soulmate.
He remembered the day his soul mark appeared quite vividly, could still sense the phantom burning on his left shoulder blade and the frenetic nervous energy he buzzed with in search of a proper mirror, impatient to see what the mark said about his soulmate. The image was surprisingly violent: a hilt intertwined with a chef's knife, engulfed by a flame. That was a sign of a passionate and volatile relationship, sure, but a romantic in him always dreamed of finding a beautiful, delicate lady, whom he could worship and protect with all his heart. The hilt meant that his future companion had a difficult life, full of struggles and tribulations, and was forced to learn how to defend herself. He wished to cross paths with the love of his life as soon as possible, to shield her from all the cruelty and injustice in this world and woo her with his culinary talents. The chef's knife obviously represented him, and the thought that his once inedible concoctions transformed into something delicious and worthy of a chef brought him comfort. His soul longed for the connection with someone who was a complete stranger, and yet felt so close and familiar nonetheless. Not for the first time, he vowed to himself to survive all the ordeals destiny threw at him and find that special someone, whose mere existence gave him strength and courage to go on.
***
Years went by with no sign of meeting his soulmate. The horrors of his life left him on the brink of dying so many times that he was beginning to wonder if he was ever meant to overcome them. Survival took everything he had in him and then some. Only here, at the Baratie, he could allow himself to take a breath and return to his surreptitious search, studying his customers with rapt but inconspicuous curiosity, lest they get offended or put off by too much effort on his part. Many charmingly wonderful creatures graced the restaurant with their presence, and Sanji's eyes lit up every time he noticed someone's energy and inner fire shine amidst the crowd. Even if they were not his soulmate, they still deserved his full and undivided attention. Of course, he couldn't quite figure out if any of them were his destiny, tolling away in the kitchen day in and day out, but, luckily for him, his relationship with Zeff could hardly be called a calm sea. They argued, and bickered, and fought regularly. The old geezer criticized his culinary efforts to no end, often banning him from cooking and exiling him to serve the customers as a waiter. It was a humiliating and mortifying blow to Sanji's pride, but at least that way he could interact with more people. Who knew, maybe one day he would catch a lucky break.
***
And a break catch he did. And what a break it was, Sanji thought, exhilarated and thrilled by a rather unusual ragtag group which currently sat at one of the tables. Sure enough, a breathtaking redhead quickly drew his attention, and he hurried to lay the full arsenal of his charm on her thick. Maybe she was the one? She certainly looked like she could handle herself in a fight. Her companions were a colorful bunch, too, but Sanji only had eyes for the beautiful woman in front of him, who, sadly, was more flustered than flattered by his efforts.
Everything quickly spiraled out of control after that, and next thing he knew he was watching Zeff patch up the Straw Hat pirate Luffy's friend, who recklessly dared to challenge one of the warlords and lost, and was now barely clinging to life. Despite himself, he was impressed by his determination and courage, even if it was rather foolish and could after all cost him his most valuable possession in this world. The swordsman's name was Zoro; he was a wild, daredevil type of person who loved beer and onigiri and had given a name to his swords. That particular detail oddly lingered in his mind. Somewhere between trying to console Luffy and feed him and the rest of the crew in an attempt at a distraction, he failed to notice how his soul mark became colored. He was too busy with a brawl, which quickly threatened to overtake his beloved restaurant he cursed so often. One of the attackers threw Zeff across the hall, and Sanji saw red.
Much, much later, when he was packing his meager belongings and getting ready to set sail with Luffy and his crazy crew, his gaze accidentally fell onto the mark, and for a second he couldn't believe his eyes. The flame was painted bright orange now, while the hilt turned white and the knife's blade steel-gray. Somehow, in all the chaos of late, he managed to not only meet his soulmate, but let the meeting fly right over his head. What an incredible fool he was. And now that he was leaving Baratie behind, who knew when their paths would cross again? Sanji sighed wistfully, tracing the outlines of the mark with his fingertips reverently. No, he told himself decidedly. The seemingly impossible meeting had already happened. Fate would surely bring them together again, and the next time Sanji would be ready. For now, the world with all its uncharted territories and unlived adventures beckoned him like a siren, and he was more than ready to answer its call.
***
“Oi, marimo, get your arse out of my kitchen,” Sanji barked, annoyed. “No booze until after dinner.”
“Since when is it your kitchen, cook?” Zoro grumbled in displeasure.
“Since I'm the only one who feeds your insatiable mouths, obviously,” Sanji shot back, turning around to face him. “Now shoo, I've got a lot of prep work to do.”
Zoro rolled his eyes, but for once did as he was told and promptly exited the kitchen.
Sanji sighed, finally left to his own devices.
So yes, the Straw Hat pirates might have become his new slightly dysfunctional family, but that didn't mean he got along with everyone well. Of course, he was immediately taken in by Luffy's sincere and sunny demeanor. His charming and warm personality drew his attention from the moment he was stuck with doing the dishes back at the Baratie, so it was a no-brainer that they clicked right away. Usopp's exaggerated stories and faint-hearted nature were a bit off-putting at first, but had largely grown on him in time. He never lacked imagination or fantasy to turn even the most insignificant event into something worth a poetic retelling at the very least, and that always piqued Sanji's curiosity and interest. And he couldn't even begin to describe how fascinated he was by beautiful, talented, and smart Nami, navigating their ship through the worst of conditions and coming up with creative ways of staying out of trouble and in the green.
Zoro, on the other hand... Ever since the first squabble over Nami's true intentions and Sanji's fierce attempts at protecting her honor and saving her from Arlong's greedy paws, they could never find their footing with one another. A single carelessly thrown comment or a sarcastic remark was enough to make one of them draw the other into a fight, a verbal or a physical one, or most often both. The constant need to have the last word, land the last hit, and come out of the argument on top made them clash with each other daily, neither willing to give in or even find a common ground. In all honesty, Sanji should have admitted that it was partially his fault for initiating their volatile interactions. That first time he sensed Zoro was about ready to leave Nami to fend for herself triggered some painful memories he'd rather leave buried, and his knee-jerk reaction was lashing out and coming up with a creative nickname for Zoro's hair. That sealed the deal for both of them, and they had never called each other by name since. The potential for new monikers for the resident greenery was endless, and Zoro paid him in kind, at first even refusing to acknowledge that he was a cook, not a mere waiter. In the privacy of his mind, he accepted that never hearing his name fall from Zoro's lips hurt, just a little bit. As if Sanji was just one of the many cooks their ship could have. He didn't understand why Zoro made him so emotional, how he could lose his temper in a matter of seconds, sometimes just by looking at him. The initial admiration and respect were still there, buried under layers of annoyance, fury, and irritation. And their regular sessions of banter, bickering, and back and forth were too perfect an outlet for Sanji to pass by.
In all the excitement and flurry of activity, which every day aboard Going Merry brought into his life, he never forgot about his quest for finding his soulmate. He checked his mark from time to time and noticed the weirdest thing about it. It didn't fade or lose any of its colors, not even in the slightest. If he met his destiny back at the Baratie and had no contact with whomever it was since, it should have dimmed somewhat. Yet it remained as vivid and vibrantly buoyant as it was the moment Sanji first laid eyes on it, the flame burning bright and the blade and hilt shining. And if they had crossed paths again, surely Sanji would have remembered? Despite the confusion, he remained hopeful he would get lucky enough to finally get to know them.
***
“Do you ever lighten up, mosshead? Or is that typical frown of yours permanently etched on your forehead?” Sanji jabbed at Zoro lazily.
For once, nothing was trying to kill or maim them upon arrival; the people on the island were unusually friendly and welcoming to the pirates, the music was playing, and even mossy's favorite booze was flowing freely. What was not to like? Even now, he looked like enjoying himself for an evening would cause him physical pain. And his prissy attitude never failed to annoy Sanji before.
“Do you ever erase that stupid smile off your face? Or is it permanently etched too?” Zoro shot back without missing a beat. “I don't trust this place,” he added quietly after a moment.
Sanji blinked, surprised by Zoro suddenly deciding to share any of his thoughts with him.
“You don't trust any place,” he quickly shook off his initial reaction, deciding to play it down as usual. “That's called paranoia,” he jibed for good measure. He was determined to unwind and have a good time after days of being stuck at sea. Perhaps today would be the day he would meet his soulmate again. And he wasn't gonna let this sourpuss ruin it.
“Whatever,” Zoro huffed, grabbing his bottle of beer, effectively ending the conversation.
Sanji's eyes trailed across the room, spotting dozens of gorgeous ladies looking for a drink. It was time to put his bartending skills to good use.
Soon enough, he was putting on a show for a small crowd gathered near the bar counter. Everyone was laughing and cheering him on, and for a moment Sanji felt as if he was back at the Baratie, serving the customers as usual. His cocktails were a major hit too, and soon he had his hands full with all the orders flowing in. Amidst the sea of excited voices and coquettish smiles, he barely discerned Zoro's disgruntled one, demanding more booze, and pretended that he didn't hear it. He could go brood in the corner for all he cared; the beautiful ladies needed his attention a lot more. And he quickly discovered just why they were so interested in his company.
***
Sitting on a couch beside Usopp, bound hand and foot, all he could think about was that Zoro would never let him live it down. He felt so stupidly naive and gullible. Of course, when not just one, but two women seemed way too keen on getting them alone, it meant it was a trap. Zoro's instincts rang true yet again. He winced as he recalled making fun of his acute sense of danger. Not that he would ever admit he was right to his face.
“Ladies-ladies,” he attempted to de-escalate the situation once more, smooth talking their way out of it. “We were having such a pleasant time earlier. Why spoil the evening with violence?”
All that earned him was a menacingly manic laughter and a painful kick in the shin. He had to think of a way of freeing his legs, since Usopp, undoubtedly, had no plan of escaping and was generally terrified. The weapons in the hands of their captors didn't bode well, either.
Just then, a loud commotion shook the corridor outside their room, followed by a clash of something particularly heavy with a wall; then the said wall exploded into a swarm of shards and debris as none other than Zoro came flying into the room, landing on his feet after a graceful backwards somersault.
“Zoro!” Usopp cried out, obviously relieved by his arrival.
Zoro straightened up, throwing a quick assessing glance at the two of them, then at his opponents. The black bandana was covering his head, which meant he had been fighting the enemies before getting here and that they weren't the only targets. A pang of worry pierced his heart as he thought about Nami and Luffy. He hoped they were faring a lot better than they were right now or, at the very least, that Zoro had gotten to them first. Not that he doubted either of them could handle a fight, but this island and its inhabitants were clearly a lot more devious than they claimed to be.
Zoro dispatched the enemies within seconds, so quickly and efficiently that Sanji was begrudgingly impressed yet again. He himself couldn't hit women, even if they were actively trying to harm him, so they were his weak spot. Zoro, on the other hand, had no qualms dealing with an opponent of any gender. The whole fight seemed to be over even before it properly started; Usopp was making a series of encouraging and awed noises to his right, and Sanji, to his utter bewilderment, realized that Zoro, being in his element like that, neutralizing the threat without even breaking a sweat, was kinda hot. He shook his head violently, getting the ridiculous notion of being turned on by mosshead of all people right out of it. He could admire competence when he saw it. That was it, nothing more, no point in dwelling on how his body just reacted to the scene in front of him.
Except that next thing he knew, Zoro was instructing them to return to the ship, without even taking a minute to untie them, and that perpetually present wave of annoyance inside him rose to unprecedented levels again.
“Hey, mosshead!” Sanji called out indignantly. “Are you gonna free us?”
Zoro turned around, then casually slid the knife across the floor toward them. “You're good with the knife, right?” He said sassily, then promptly exited the room.
Sanji couldn't believe his cockiness. If he had any reasonable thoughts left when it came to marimo, he would admit Zoro had the bragging rights in that moment. As it was, though, he was silently fuming after quickly taking the initiative of snatching the knife and working on getting both him and Usopp free. At least he could make himself useful now.
***
Getting back to the ship was, for once, uneventful, and before long Sanji found himself pacing the main deck restlessly. Where were the others? How much time had passed since mosshead left them in that building, no doubt crawling with dozens more Baroque agents out for blood? On their way down toward the exit they stumbled upon at least half a hundred bodies, knocked out, maimed, or mangled to a various degree, and he shuddered to imagine how many more awaited Zoro upstairs. He shared a concerned look with Usopp. There he was, being useless again, the most painful thing he could ever be accused of. Damn it all, he thought to himself, and hurried to get back. He would never forgive himself for leaving any of the crew members behind to fend for themselves, even someone as capable as Zoro. It had been too long, Sanji told himself decisively.
“Come on, we gotta get after them,” he beckoned Usopp to follow him and moved forward, only to be finally greeted with the familiar sight of Zoro, Luffy, Nami, and the Baroque agent who had escaped their ship earlier, returning.
“What the hell is going on?” He asked, confused by her presence. Everyone seemed to have made it in one piece, at least at first glance.
“Cast off, now,” Nami ordered in her no-nonsense commanding voice, and they all quickly got to work.
Sanji was glad to keep himself busy because he could focus on physical labor and routine tasks at hand rather than let his mind ponder the certain discoveries about his own sexuality that hit him like a brick that evening. A topic for another time, and, preferably, a very drunken state.
***
He was acting weird. He knew he was acting weird and could do nothing about it, except passively acknowledge the fact. Soon enough the rest of the crew would catch on, too, and his life would become intolerable.
Of course, Sanji couldn't simply bury the very disturbing thoughts and revelations he just had, turn over a new leaf, and move on. What was he thinking? He lived on the ship and shared close quarters with Zoro. Short of jumping overboard and forgetting he could swim, there was no way of avoiding him forever. He trained on the deck, shirtless as usual (not that Sanji paid it any mind before); he raided the kitchen in search of booze; he was a permanent presence at all the communal meals, and Sanji felt like Zoro was breathing down his neck half the time their paths crossed.
Sanji was confounded with himself and the absurdity of his feelings. There was a fresh, extremely charming, and attractive face aboard Merry, who went by the beautiful name of Vivi and turned out to be the princess of Alabasta on a mission of rescuing her country. Any other day, he would put on his brightest smile and shower her with the attention she deserved. What Sanji was doing instead was going through his regular motions, feeling only an ounce of his usual excitement and awe. He paid her and Nami a ton of compliments, treated them to the best snacks and refreshing cocktails and drinks, but his heart wasn't in it. His mind kept drifting to the morning's scene, where he acted like a complete fool. He wasn't in control anymore, and he hated that.
***Earlier that morning***
“So, guys, the last island was fun, right?” Luffy said gleefully, chewing on the umpteenth crepe. The breakfast spread Sanji threw together was, as always, most appreciated by the captain, who had an endless pit in his stomach and constantly craved more food.
The newcomer Vivi, whom Sanji wanted to cheer up with his culinary masterpieces, was feeling under the weather, or, most likely, mourning the loss of her dearest friend, and left the table in haste, retreating to the cabin she now shared with Nami. And Sanji couldn't blame her. Everyone had their own way of dealing with grief.
“Fun?” Nami asked derisively. “Half of the crew got captured. If Zoro hadn't kept his mind clear and his head sober, we would have joined the pile of bodies I found. I'm guessing the Tulip Pirates had no such luck.”
“Yes, Zoro bro, you were so cool in there.” Usopp immediately nodded. “Swoosh-swoosh,” he poorly imitated the sword movements to the amusement of everyone at the table.
“Pff, cool,” Sanji huffed in annoyance. “Careful, marimo, don't let all this flattery go to your green head.”
“At least I was thinking with my head. I wonder which part of your body made a decision to get yourself into a trap last night.” Zoro commented casually, arching his eyebrow.
Sanji felt his face grow scorching hot. “Oi, don't be crude in the presence of the lady.”
“Sorry, my instincts of self-preservation don't go flying out the window at the sight of someone's smile,” Zoro drawled sarcastically. “What would it take for you to start treating them as a threat, huh? A knife through the heart? I bet you'd ask for a kiss as a dying wish even then.”
“I had it under control,” Sanji insisted stubbornly.
“Like hell you did,” Zoro retorted in irritation.
“Guys-guys, maybe you should –“
“Shut up, Usopp,” they both said in sync, staring daggers at each other from across the table.
Usopp raised his hands in surrender, looking at Nami as a last resort. But today Nami, apparently, was in the mood for a spectacle, because she kept watching the unfolding scene in silence. Luffy was stuffing his face, half-listening to their banter, not worried about a thing.
“What next, huh? Will you spill all the secrets about our crew when a pretty girl bats her eyelashes at you?” Zoro was getting unusually angry by the second, but Sanji himself was no better. Although he didn't like the turn this conversation took, he surely wasn't gonna be the one to cede and pump the brakes either. It didn't help that his mind immediately conjured the images of Zoro actively batting his eyelashes at him, and his face, already red as a ripe tomato, turned even redder.
“You're the one to talk.” Sanji narrowed his eyes at Zoro, his tone clipped. “I should be concerned you will blabber everything at the offer of free unlimited booze.”
“I can handle my liquor,” Zoro rebuffed, stung by the accusation.
“And I can handle my women,” Sanji shot back quickly, not quite thinking it all the way through.
“Oh yeah, and how many women have you handled, cook?” Zoro asked mockingly. “So far they have been handling you.”
“You-“ Sanji choked with outrage, getting to his feet to show mosshead just how capable he was of handling anyone. Unfortunately, Luffy chose that exact moment to remember how to act like a captain.
“Zoro, Sanji,” he looked at both of them in turn, “that's enough, you guys. I'm sure neither of you would ever betray us for anything, right?”
Sanji and Zoro nodded curtly, in unison again, which pissed Sanji off even more. How could they be both so in sync and at each other's throats all at the same time?
“See, that's all sorted. Sanji, are there any more of those delicious pancakes left?”
Sanji rolled his eyes at Luffy's usual antics and turned around to grab the last remaining plate. The door to the kitchen flew open, then closed again, and when Sanji took his place at the table again, Zoro was nowhere to be seen.
***
It was time for a smoke break again. He didn't get a chance to clash with Zoro properly earlier, and his whole body was thrumming with unresolved tension and nervous energy. Going out on the deck, he lit a cigarette and took a long drag, relishing the way his lungs filled with the substance numbing the fire coursing through his veins. His thoughts drifted to the flame burning on the mark on his left shoulder blade. If his relationship with his soulmate was as volatile as the one he had with Zoro, he would be so screwed. It certainly didn't lack passion. His eyes involuntarily drifted over to Zoro's favorite training spot, where he was currently doing push-ups. As attractive as Zoro was physically (and Sanji simply wasn't blind to admit that), his personality was far from sunny. Sanji’s eyes trailed Zoro's coiled muscles, the drops of sweat dripping down from his torso and shoulders, the focused expression on his face, and the cigarette Sanji was holding had almost burned all the way down to the filter, just shy of burning his fingertips. Shit, Sanji cursed inwardly, berating himself for letting the obscene thoughts and images flood his mind.
“Are you gonna just keep staring at me?” Zoro wondered lazily, getting on his feet slowly and looking at him in that unnerving direct manner of his. “If you wanted to practice, you could just ask.”
Sanji wanted to do many things to him, and practicing was, sadly, not at the top of that list. But, of course, he wasn't gonna let Zoro in on that, so he obediently approached him, getting into a fighting stance. Training could be a great way of burning off his pent-up energy, since all the other ones were simply out of the question.
“If you insist, mossy,” he bit, launching a kick first.
One of the advantages of facing Zoro was that he didn't have to hold back. Zoro gave as good as he got. A block, another hit, a parry, and before long Sanji's head was pleasantly empty and he gave himself up to the fight completely, his body going through the usual motions with intent and control.
Today's fight, however, turned rather hands-on, and quite quickly Sanji found his own control slipping away ounce by ounce, his treacherous heart registering every brush of naked skin against his clothed one, every shared breath and inadvertent touch. His attacks were sloppy by his own standards, the defence moves weakened and uncoordinated, and next thing he knew Zoro had him pinned down to the deck, his body atop Sanji’s, trapping his legs in a deadly grip. Sanji's heavy breathing was mixing with Zoro's own as they lay pressed flush against each other, so close Sanji could count the freckles on his face he never even noticed before, the stubborn curve of his eyebrows and the sensual fullness of his lips. And those three earrings, tantalizingly dangling off his ear, were suddenly an intriguing rather than an annoying thing about him. And to make matters worse, all this proximity was turning him on. And weren't those one hell of a thought to have about his crewmate.
“Come spar with me when your head isn't elsewhere, cook.” Zoro interrupted his daytime reverie and slid off of him in one fluid motion, grabbing his swords and leaving him confused and, if he was being frank with himself, which was his least favorite activity, horny.
Sanji shook his head in desperate denial. He wasn't even attracted to men, let alone someone like Zoro. Another deeply unsettling thought crossed his mind. What if his soulmate was a man instead of a charming lady he had always imagined? That would mean his whole life-long search had been in vain. What if this was why he didn't clock their first meeting? Or any of the following ones, if they saw each other again?
Sanji sighed in frustration and got to his feet. He needed a distraction. Hopefully, they would soon reach the next island where he could seek the company of beautiful creatures and erase all the stupid notions of being interested in Zoro.
***
The only company the next island provided him with was a very unwelcome and invasive presence of a bunch of Baroque agents. Their initial mistake was that the crew went their separate ways. Sanji wouldn't admit it in a million years, but he should have noticed that Zoro was being extremely weird. Or, rather, that he did notice it, but decided not to act upon his suspicions. His mind was occupied with the bet they made, or so he told himself.
In all honesty, he was focusing on behaving as he normally could, sticking to their regular banter and bickering routine. Zoro was, surely, hopeless when it came to a sense of direction, but he compensated for it with an incredible skill of observation. And if Sanji kept behaving as strangely as he did these last few weeks, Zoro would definitely bring it up. And Sanji had nothing sane to say for himself. So when Zoro started laughing like a madman and chopping up pomegranates left and right, calling them the most formidable opponents, he took his chance at escaping and left Zoro to his own devices.
It turned out that leaving Zoro on his own like that meant he would find him and the rest of the crew hours later, after one nasty fight with a sea otter and a vulture, also known as Mr. 23 and Ms. Friday. And he was, for some reason, bleeding from the ankles down. Usopp's face looked as if one of the giants, who, apparently, inhabited the island, too, used it as a personal punching bag; Luffy and the ladies sported a few scrapes and bruises as well, but, thankfully, nothing life-threatening.
On the way to the ship, Sanji accidentally discovered that Zoro tried to hack off his own legs to get free from the wax trap, hence all the bleeding. The words in any language were not sufficient enough to describe how incredibly dumb this latest attempt at heroism was, and Sanji felt extra prissy and inclined to keep exchanging small jabs and insults all the time it took them to get back.
Aboard the Merry, Zoro finally found some previously dormant remnants of common sense deep inside him and went rummaging for the bandages to apply to his wounds. But not before Sanji made a fool out of himself again.
‘Don't you worry about me and size.’ What the hell was he thinking? He was furious with Zoro mere moments ago. Yet it appeared he could not for the life of him stop the inner fountain of flirting rushing out of him at every opportunity he got. And that was fine when the objects of his passions were wonderful women. Just why exactly did his brain decide it was acceptable to remove any filters whatsoever and speak like that with mosshead of all people? Sure, the crew was already used to their dynamic and no one in the vicinity probably even batted an eyelash at what came out of his mouth. Vivi, on the other hand, was still new to it all and might have misunderstood the situation completely. What a mess Sanji was. He needed to rein in whatever these feelings he now had towards the resident shrubbery were and fast. That, of course, was easier said than done.
***
Anger and irritation became Sanji's most loyal companions. He was annoyed all the time, mostly with himself, of course, but also with Zoro. What happened to his lifelong dream of finding his soulmate? Would he give up on his dream of finding the All-Blue as well, just as easily? Not that any of it was easy. Sanji's natural stubbornness demanded he stick to the original plan and cast aside any feeling for marimo as nothing more than a fleeting, non-significant phase he was currently going through. As soon as he met his soulmate, everything would become clear again. Deep down, Sanji knew that he was angry with his destined person, too. The mark looked as vivid and as fresh as the first day they met each other, and he understood nothing anymore. How could he keep meeting them while being completely oblivious to their presence? Why did they not approach Sanji? Or were these meetings just a coincidence, and the other person was as in the dark as Sanji himself? These days, he was on edge more often than not, so it was no wonder that one evening he simply snapped.
The crew was sharing a regular meal like any other. Sanji had already had a fight with Zoro about his maddening habit of napping on the deck whenever and wherever he pleased, so his temper was short and his mood sour. Unfortunately, Usopp had a brilliant idea of bringing up the topic of soulmates. And it all went downhill from there.
“I was so nervous when I realized Kaya was my soulmate,” Usopp shared in confidence. “Like, what if she only ever saw me as a friend? But I was brave, and when I finally had the courage to confess, I saw the same happiness and relief that I felt on her face,” he sighed dreamily. “No feelings can scare the fearless and mighty Usopp,” he raised his fist in the air in triumph, causing a wave of chuckles and giggles from the table.
“And what about you, guys? He asked curiously. Have you met your someone special yet?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“I don't really have time to think about anything like that at the moment,” Vivi noted pragmatically. “Perhaps if my kingdom is saved-“
“When,” Luffy interrupted impatiently. “When it is saved, and it definitely will be,” he added with his typical exuberance.
“Of course, Luffy, thank you,” Vivi looked at him gratefully. “Once Alabasta is secure, I could allow myself to take a short break.”
“My dear Vivi,” Sanji began cautiously, “love doesn't take breaks. It comes and sweeps you off your feet,” he continued wistfully. “There's no planning for it.”
“You should know,” Zoro snorted. “You fall in love with every woman you see.”
“Tsk, shut up, mosshead,” Sanji snapped at him. “Any normal person would rather die than have you as their soulmate,” he added, venom dripping down his every word.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. Usopp's eyes were wide as saucers, but he didn't dare open his mouth. Nami and Vivi shared a concerned look, and even Luffy stopped devouring another helping of fried rice he had stolen mere seconds ago. Zoro had yet to say something, too, maintaining a weird eye-staring contest he and Sanji locked in from time to time.
“Come on, Sanji, I'm sure you didn't mean that, right?” Luffy offered amicably, his cheerful expression somewhat dimmed.
Sanji knew he had crossed the line, but instead of backpedaling and apologizing, he decided to double down on the insult.
“Oh no, Luffy, I meant exactly what I said,” he countered, still looking Zoro dead in the eye.
“Let's hear it, then, cook,” Zoro finally spoke, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why exactly am I not soulmate material?”
“Uff, where do I start?” Sanji pretended to think, pausing for a moment, then continued: “How about the fact that you only care about becoming the world's greatest swordsman? Imagine how easily you'd let the one person who is destined to be with you go if it meant getting closer to besting Mihawk?” Zoro’s eyebrow twitched, but his lips remained pressed together. Somewhere to his right, Usopp took in a shaky breath.
“Or let's talk about your alcohol addiction, shall we? Or the fact that you can't tell left from right?” Sanji went on and on non-stop like a ship at full speed, not caring to take a beat even just for a second. “How can you possibly find your way to your soulmate if you just can't help getting lost yourself? Or-“
“Okay, I get it.” Zoro interrupted calmly, not a single muscle on his face betraying any emotion. “Loud and clear. Good thing I am not your soulmate since I'm such an embarrassment.”
“Zoro-“ Nami called him, trying somewhat desperately to stop whatever it was that had just broken into a million pieces right in front of them all.
“No, no, it's fine,” Zoro shrugged, finally breaking the eye contact. “Everyone can have their own opinion,” he added, rising from the table and heading straight for the door.
Sanji habitually traced his figure all the way out, frowning as he noticed Zoro momentarily pause as if stumbling over something, his left hand flying to his chest. A handful of seconds later, he was gone.
“What the hell did you just do?” Nami hissed at him like an angry cat, a murderous expression distorting her beautiful face.
“Not cool, Sanji, so not cool,” Usopp chirped in agreement, looking as uncomfortable as if he had just swallowed the sourest lemon whole.
Sanji waved his hand in the air before everyone present decided to share their piece of mind. “Alright-alright, maybe I went too far. But don't worry, it's marimo. Everything I had just said will fly right out of his overgrown moss of a head. You'll see,” he added, speaking with the confidence he didn't feel.
He almost didn't recognize himself, speaking so cruelly and harshly. Of course, he wouldn't be caught dead saying sorry to the stupid moss, but a portion of his favorite onigiri along with a bottle of booze should do the trick.
Vivi shook her head at him in disapproval, but didn't comment any further. Luffy kept his opinions to himself, but the corners of his lips were turned down in dejection. In a matter of minutes, the kitchen emptied out, leaving Sanji alone in the company of shame and self-deprecating thoughts.
What right did he have to lash out about Zoro being a soulmate of anyone if he himself had no luck in his search either? He was angry with Zoro, so angry he could scream. Just why did he have to catch these stupid feelings for him, making him act so unreasonably and say despicable things he didn't actually mean?
Sanji ran a hand through his hair, then rummaged through his pockets, digging out a cigarette and a lighter. He desperately needed to smoke. Everything else could be sorted out tomorrow.
***
Tomorrow was... surprisingly normal. No whiplash from yesterday's outburst, no sign of Zoro going out of his way to ignore him and pretend he ceased to exist, no earth-shattering changes in the atmosphere whatsoever. Zoro was looking a bit more pale than usual, though (When did he manage to study the precise tone of his face anyway?), and Nami was still throwing daggers at him, but otherwise, it was a rather typical, mundane day. And that made Sanji even more suspicious, as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And while he was going through regular motions of prepping, cooking, and cleaning, he couldn't shake the unpleasant, heavy weight he was now carrying around, almost like a physical manifestation of guilt.
And of course, as luck would have it, the Marines’ ship suddenly appeared on the horizon, boding nothing good but an impending fight.
***
The sound of steel clashing against steel reverberated around him as Sanji threw kicks and blocks and punches alternately, trying to keep an eye on the general state of things. Which was why when he saw Zoro collapse right in front of him, his instincts took over and the next thing he knew, he was throwing a particularly burly-looking officer overboard without his brain even registering what had just happened. He wanted to get closer to his fallen nakama and check him for injuries, but the remaining marines were fighting particularly dirty. Sanji’s legs were working non-stop as he spun around, crushing his enemies left and right, his back turned to Zoro, keeping their weapons from slashing him and trying not to think about what could have felled him. He had seen him stand his ground against Arlong’s crew, his whole torso covered in bandages, barely one step away from being on the brink of life and death again, and known him to have singlehandedly fought a hundred Baroque agents and come out on top. To witness him go tumbling down like that made something drop inside Sanji’s stomach, his mind scrambling for a possible explanation.
The rest of the crew worked like a well-oiled machine, and minutes later, the battle was won. For Sanji, however, these minutes stretched out like molasses; by the time he finally got access to Zoro's unconscious body, he had felt like the fight lasted forever and then some. His hands were fluttering over Zoro’s unmoving form, frantically searching for a wound and coming up short. Zoro didn't react to anything and appeared dead to the world.
“Luffy, Nami!” Sanji called out loudly, hoping that the others would hear him too and maybe notice something he didn't.
“What happened?” Nami asked, crossing the deck in wide strides and kneeling beside him.
“I don't know. One moment he just fell,” Sanji explained, withdrawing his hands as he concluded the examination. “I haven't found any injuries,” he added, baffled beyond words.
“Could he have been poisoned?” Nami suggested uncertainly, a worried look on her face. “We could really use a doctor on the team. Let's get him inside.”
“On it,” Sanji replied curtly, too concerned for his usual gentlemanly mannerisms.
Carrying Zoro would not be an easy task on the best of days, but when he was a dead weight like this, unable to even hold onto Sanji, it became almost impossible. Sanji had to get a little creative with the position and secure Zoro’s arms and legs around his own torso, grunting from his efforts and Zoro's not insignificant size. Once inside, Sanji deposited him on Nami's bed, his mind instantly supplying him with a memory of Zoro lying on the same bed, stitched up and hanging onto dear life, having lost to Mihawk. He paused for a minute, thinking about the next steps, when Luffy burst into the room, with the others following suit.
“What’s up with Zoro?” Luffy asked with furrowed brows. “Why isn't he conscious?”
“I don't know,” Sanji repeated, letting his slight exasperation mask how troubled he actually felt.
“We need to examine him properly.” Nami took charge of the operation. “Maybe there's a hidden wound under his clothes we are not seeing.”
“Right, maybe you and Vivi should-“
Sanji wanted to suggest they step outside and let the men undress Zoro, but Luffy had already taken the liberty of pulling Zoro's t-shirt over his head. Sanji's attention was immediately drawn to a black spot covering the area of his heart.
“What the hell is that?” He asked, pointing at Zoro's chest.
“Oh, I think I know what it might be,” Vivi chimed in suddenly. “I read about it somewhere in the books back at home. That mark appears when someone is rejected by their soulmate.”
“So that's why Zoro collapsed,” Usopp exclaimed in understanding.
“And how do we fix it?” Sanji wondered impatiently. He was still hung up on the fact that not only had Zoro already met his soulmate, but they had the audacity to reject him.
Vivi pursed her lips, and Sanji prepared himself for more bad news. “There is no known cure for it. If your destined soul doesn't accept you as their mate, you slowly deteriorate until, eventually, you die,” Vivi finished solemnly.
That churning feeling in Sanji's stomach came back tenfold. Zoro was about to die? Again? Like hell he was.
“No way,” Sanji voiced some of his inner musings. “That can't be the only outcome. What if we find whomever it is and make them confess their undying love or whatever?”
“I don't think making anyone do anything unwillingly will undo this curse,” Nami argued reasonably.
“Nami is right, I'm afraid,” Vivi confirmed, a sad expression clouding her face. “Coercion will not work here, only true, pure feelings.”
“So what, we’re just going to sit back and do nothing?” Sanji bristled, desperately looking for another solution and coming up empty.
“Of course not, Sanji.” Luffy suddenly appeared to his right, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. “We're the Straw Hat pirates. We do not just let one of our own die.”
“Right,” Usopp nodded in agreement. “We'll think of something.”
“How long does he have?” Sanji dreaded asking this question, but he needed to know.
“I am not exactly sure,” Vivi replied uncertainly, “but that black mark is not a good sign. Could be a matter of hours or days. It depends on how quickly it will spread.”
Hours or days? That's how long Zoro had left to live? That couldn't be the end. Not for someone who dreamed of becoming the world’s greatest swordsman. The idea of someone called the Demon of East Blue perishing because of love was preposterous.
“We need a plan,” Nami declared resolutely. “Also, someone has to stay with Zoro and keep an eye on him in case he wakes up.”
Sanji wanted to volunteer, but was having doubts. He had seemed too invested in Zoro's well-being already. Never mind that he didn't want to leave his side again until he saw him back on his two feet. Luckily, for once, Luffy decided to use his captain's authority to Sanji's advantage.
“Sanji should stay,” he suggested without any further explanation as to why. “We will let you know as soon as we come up with a plan.”
Nobody protested or questioned his decision. One by one, the crew left the cabin, leaving Sanji alone with his macabre thoughts and Zoro's unconscious body.
***
How could it even have happened, he asked himself over and over again. They hadn't had a lot of opportunities to meet new people lately. Sanji didn't know exactly how much time had to pass between being rejected and the mark appearing, so he couldn't narrow the timeline down. Which meant he couldn't even guess who the mysterious soulmate in question was. Besides, it made no sense that they would reject him just by looking at him. Zoro was objectively handsome and attractive, as well as capable of handling himself in a fight. No matter how much Sanji tried to convince himself and the rest of their crew otherwise, anyone would be lucky to have him as their soulmate. He winced as he remembered his own crude words thrown into Zoro's face earlier. He didn't even get a chance to talk to him properly. And now he might never get it.
Sanji had no idea how much time had gone by before Usopp came to take his place. As expected, they had no actual plan on how to move forward and save Zoro's life, and the flicker of hope he still had deep down went out instantly.
The meals they had that day were quiet, lacking the usual hubbub the Merry's kitchen was always filled with. Sanji's eyes kept involuntarily sliding over to Zoro's vacant place. The crew's appetite, as well as spirit, remained low, and even Sanji's culinary masterpieces couldn't improve everyone's forlorn mood. They made a rotating schedule to watch over Zoro, but so far there has been no change for the better, as the black mark circling his heart was growing incrementally bigger with each sliver of time.
Sanji's romantic notions about soulmates he had had all his life were crushed by the cruel reality. How could something as beautiful and poetic as a lifelong bond also cause someone's ultimate demise? In his humble opinion, that was simply unfair.
***
Time went by slowly, yet very soon, it was Sanji's turn again by Zoro's side. He entered the room quietly, noting the usual absence of any improvement in his condition. Too winded and angry with the world and the brutality of fate to take his usual place next to the bed, he paced around the place, trying to think of a genius idea of reversing this curse or whatever it was. Last time Zoro was teetering between life and death, Zeff advised them to talk to him. Maybe he could get through to Zoro and get him to stay conscious long enough for him to find out who his incredibly stupid soulmate was.
Sanji sat down on a chair by Zoro's side, then started speaking gingerly: “Hey, mosshead, come off it now, would you? Everyone is worried about you, and that just won't do. What could you possibly have done for someone to have rejected you, eh? Besides having your charming personality, of course,” Sanji smirked to himself.
“They would have to be blindingly idiotic to not even try to be with you. And yes, I recall quite vividly what I said before, and I think we both know it wasn't true,” he finally relieved a burden he had been carrying around, even if the confession might have fallen on deaf ears. Sanji kept his eyes trained on the wall opposite him, despite the fact that Zoro couldn't possibly meet his gaze right now.
“I am sure you would be a catch, alright?” Sanji let some of the truth slip into his voice, hoping that Zoro would react to his words, but not actually remember them afterwards. “So if you could just let us know who it is, we would set their mind straight right away, agreed?”
“A catch, huh?” A hoarse voice suddenly broke the silence in the room, and Sanji's eyes snapped back to Zoro, no longer unconscious and looking at him with an undecipherable expression on his face. “That's not what you said last time.”
“You're awake!” Sanji exclaimed stupidly, feeling his cheeks grow crimson.
“What happened?” Zoro asked, clearly confused. “Why am I in Nami's and Vivi’s quarters again?”
“You collapsed in the middle of the fight against the marines.” Zoro furrowed his brows, and Sanji hurried to get to the most important part. Who knew how long he would actually stay conscious?
“And the reason for that is that your soulmate rejected you, and now you are kinda cursed or something like that. So how about you tell us who it is we are dealing with, and we can quickly sort it out?”
Zoro snorted suddenly, and Sanji felt a familiar wave of anger rise inside him again. Of course, the dumb mosshead would not be taking it seriously.
“I am not kidding, okay? This curse is deadly. So take your head out of your arse and just tell me,” Sanji demanded in no uncertain terms.
“You sure you want to know, cook? You might not like what you hear,” Zoro warned him cryptically.
“Oh really?” Sanji commented skeptically. “Try me,” he egged him on.
“How do you even know I am cursed or whatever?” Zoro asked curiously. “Did you guys find a doctor while I was out?”
Sanji rolled his eyes at the evasion. They didn't have time for the technicalities. “Pull up your t-shirt,” he urged him instead.
“What, why?” Zoro asked, even more confused than before.
“Tsk, just do it,” Sanji insisted, losing the last crumbs of his patience.
“Fine,” Zoro agreed and moved to take off his t-shirt.
“That,” Sanji pointed at the black mark on his chest, “is how we knew what happened. Luckily, Vivi read a lot of books.”
Sanji took a closer look at the mark, which seemed a lot smaller than the last time he saw it. Must have been why Zoro was able to wake up. But how could it be possible?
“Satisfied?” Sanji asked, annoyed at the delay. “Now go on and spit it out.”
“And you call me dumb, cook. Still haven't put two and two together?” Zoro arched an eyebrow at him again, and Sanji was just about done.
“I swear to God, mosshead, if you-“
Instead of finally telling him the truth, Zoro did something weird and rolled up the leg of his shorts on the right side.
“Wait, what are you-“
The rest of the question died on Sanji's lips as he saw the outlines of a soul mark on Zoro's inner thigh. The oh-so-familiar flame encompassing the hilt and chef's blade.
Sanji stared at it numbly, unable to utter a single word.
“I did warn you,” Zoro reminded him casually.
“Hang on,” Sanji muttered under his breath. “All this time you knew that we were soulmates? How long have you known?”
“I'm not sure,” Zoro shrugged. “There was one time I walked in on you shirtless in a bathroom, and you were standing with your back turned to me.”
“That was forever ago!” Sanji exclaimed indignantly. “And you didn't think to mention it?”
“And why would I say anything? I already know what you think about me, as you've spelled it out so clearly,” Zoro explained calmly, as if this wasn't a big, world-shifting deal.
“Listen, about that...” Sanji jumped at a chance to talk about what had been bothering him, only for Zoro to interrupt him again.
“Don't bother. I heard you, and I accepted it,” he admitted honestly.
“Did you not listen to a word of what I had told you?” Sanji hissed furiously. “Accepted what? Your bloody death? How can you even say that, huh?” Sanji poked him in the chest for emphasis.
Zoro had the audacity to huff in exasperation. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to stop fucking trying to keel over,” Sanji cried out impatiently. Zoro gave him a look as if to say: ‘Do I have a choice?’ “Can you just shut up for a second and let me speak?”
Zoro, being the little shit that he was, cocked his head to the side, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I didn't mean what I said that day, okay? I was stupid, and I was angry, and I lashed out at you,” Sanji blurted out quickly, while all the emotions swirling inside him propelled him forward. “I had no idea what I was doing with my words, I swear.”
A beat of silence, then another one, and Sanji exploded again. “Will you bloody say something now?”
Zoro gave him a dirty look. “I am not exactly sure how all of this works,” he gestured between them vaguely, “but I guess the curse is broken now? So we're cool.”
“Cool?” Sanji narrowed his eyes at him. “Is that all you've got?”
“Look, if you were expecting me to confess my undying love for you or whatever, think again.” Zoro drawled in his usual, sarcastic manner of speech. “You don't have any feelings for me, but you accept me as your soulmate. That's fine by me. I won't bother you with anything.”
“God, you're insufferable,” Sanji groaned aloud, then slid onto the bed next to Zoro. You can punch me later, he offered temptingly, then finally leaned in to do something he hadn't allowed himself to want for so long: kiss the infuriating bastard.
The kiss was hungry, almost aggressive, as if Sanji wanted to prove that he wasn't lying just now and to show Zoro just how much he actually desired him. Their tongues clashed, fighting for dominance, much like during their sparring sessions, neither of them willing to cede. Sanji's right hand found its way to Zoro's chest, placing the palm right over his heart, where the black mark marred his complexion. His lips crashed against Zoro's as he licked into his mouth like a man dying of thirst, sucking and biting the surprisingly soft, slightly chapped skin. The fire coursing through his veins grew hotter with every caress as his other hand wound up in Zoro's short hair, angling his neck for easier access. Their breathing grew erratic and uneven as they refused to let each other go, parting for air for mere seconds and diving right back in. Zoro's own hand was cradling Sanji's face as his other one gripped his waist, pulling them impossibly closer together. Sanji swallowed every groan, moan, and whimper coming out of Zoro's throat, thinking about all the other ways he could coax these beautiful sounds out of him later. All the touches and teasing swipes of tongue and slow caresses of the nimble fingers were making him painfully hard, and Sanji barely had a presence of mind left to break off the devouring kiss before they started losing more clothes and desecrating Nami's and Vivi’s room completely.
“We should probably slow down,” Sanji suggested breathlessly, pulling himself away from tantalizingly scarlet and seductive lips by the remaining shreds of his willpower. He pressed his forehead against Zoro's for a brief moment of respite, suddenly finding himself incredibly reluctant to move away.
“Yeah, we should,” Zoro agreed in a low, guttural voice, sounding as wrecked as Sanji felt.
“The others need to know you're not dying. They were all so worried,” Sanji offered another weak argument, his hand sliding up and down Zoro's naked torso.
“The others think I'm still unconscious,” Zoro countered, his grip on Sanji's waist never faltering.
“We shouldn't do anything else in here. Nami will kill us if she finds out,” Sanji protested in a quiet, feeble voice.
“I won't tell her if you won't,” Zoro whispered in his ear, puffing out hot air over the sensitive skin, making Sanji shiver.
Sanji's head dropped on Zoro's shoulder as his hand slowly slid under Sanji's shirt and then further down to his now throbbing erection. It was his turn to bite down his moans at the excruciatingly unhurried pace Zoro chose to torment him with, teasing his scorching hot skin, never quite touching him where he most needed it. When his fingers finally slipped inside Sanji's trousers and closed around his arousal, he saw stars. The tight circle of his fingers moved up and down at an irregular rhythm, giving no quarter as Sanji dug his teeth into his lower lip, biting it till the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. Zoro's grip was firm and confident as he brought him pleasure, finishing him off with a few expert flicks of his wrist. He let Sanji ride through his orgasm, licking the blood off his lip and pulling him into another thorough, passionate kiss. Sanji came off his high slightly light-headed, straightening up to return the favor only for Zoro to stop him again.
“I'm good. Next time I won't let you off the hook that easily,” he promised heatedly, his pupils blown wide and his lips swollen. He looked magnetically attractive, like a sin wrapped up in an irresistible package.
“I'll hold you to it,” Sanji replied weakly, his body turned boneless. When he looked down to check Zoro's black spot again, he was relieved to see that it had vanished completely. The soul mark under his own left shoulder blade pulsed with warmth.