Chapter Text
Tony Stark, was a busy man, you know?
I mean, he is a successful tech genius, billionaire philanthropist, the superhero Iron Man...
All that work really exhausts a person.
Which was why he was currently tossing and turning in his bed in an attempt to sleep.
In his defense, his kick ass wife was currently away for a business trip so he had no one to cuddles and thus causing great difficulties in his quest for sleep.
Oh, the tragedy!
It was around midnight when FRIDAY's voice aroused him from his rather fitful and useless grab for sleep.
"You have received a text from an unknown number, Sir," FRIDAY spoke, much to Tony's chagrin.
Although, it did get him sitting up.
That wasn't something he got very often as his private number was not only enlisted but encrypted and filtered to hell and back.
Scam calls? Please, he made sure even a random phone number generator couldn't so much as even produce half of the number for his personal line.
Regular old spam? His number was unlisted, so it wouldn't be saved to any databases for them to use.
"Unknown number?" He grumbled as he shuffled sideways and put his feet on the floor before sitting up. "How did they get past the firewalls...?"
So, Tony Stark reached for his phone and opened the text message.
Peter
Ned
Ned
NED WAKE UP
Ned
NED
N
E
D
WAKE UP
Tony frowned.
Who the fuck was Peter? How did he even get his number? No way this was a wrong number, there would've been too many things the dude would have had to hack through to even type a damn message!
Peter
NED WAKE UUUUUUP
COME ON PLZ
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM BC THE DARN TASER FRIED MY GPS SYSTEM
AND I THINK I'VE BEEN SHOT
WHICH HURTS
NED
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
What backwaters sort of prank is this? Tony thought to himself. Taser? Shot? What was this dude doing that got him tased? ...Or shot apparently. And who's this "Ned"?
He yawned before grumbling out something to Friday about pinging the location of whoever's texting
I swear on Thor's name if it's Clint again...
????
Who is this and how did you get this number?
Peter
Really Ned?
I know you got a new phone and all but your firewalls were weaker than usual LOL
It was too boring i thought hacking into each other's phone was supposed to be fun
I have to say, not your best work
Tony's eye twitched.
God, if he had a drink in his mouth he would have spit it right out.
Did... Did someone just have the gall to call his, THE Tony Stark's coding... shoddy!?!
Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was sheer blatant disrespect-ping!
Peter
Anyways can we bring back attention the fact i've been shot????
😭
There's like a lot of blood and my healing isn't kicking in
????
WHO IS THIS?????
Peter
Ned its not funny anymore
really
how many people do you know who were bitten by a radioactive spider and moonlights as Spiderman???
Okay.
Record scratch.
Halt.
Tony had to make sure he was reading that right.
"Really how many people do you know who were bitten by a radioactive spider and moonlights as Spiderman-FRIDAY!"
"My apologies, Boss, but I am having trouble pinging the location of the cellular device the messages are originating from," The AI's voice responded, sounding as confused as a robotic Irish voice could get. "The signal keeps getting bounced around with what looks like the assistance of a location scrambler. I am certain the texts are pinging from within NYC but the signal is telling me that the user is simultaneously in Hong Kong, Seoul, London, Paris, and Dubai."
Well shit.
That was the right location for-
????
Who is Ned because it's NOT ME
Peter
Oh shirt
I'm sorry
Plz don't tell anyone
I'll kindly erase myself from your phone now
Nope. No. Tony was NOT gonna let that happen.
Obviously one of three things was happening; a) someone was playing a fucked-up prank on him, b) someone was pretending to be Spiderman or... c) (and it was a pretty negligible possibility, but not zero unfortunately) that this... might be Spiderman, the vigilante he and some of the other Avengers have been searching for for AGES had accidentally texted his number... which left the non-negligeable chance that Spiderman may or may not be currently bleeding out somewhere...
????
Hey, it's okay, I'm not gonna tell anybody
Can you tell me what happened?
Peter
Well so I was swinging down the street
And I see these guys trying to break into a tech store
So I of course swing in to stop the dudes
and turns out they all have stun guns except this one guy who ACTUALLY had a gun
like for realsies
So i web them up but one or two of them managed to get a couple of hits on me with the tazer and the one with the gun managed to hit my stomach
which
major ouchie by the way
But anyways I only managed to get a few blocks away when I got dizzy mid swing and took a tumble onto a roof
"Hey Fri check recent police reports or radio chatter for armed robberies intercepted by Spiderman in the area," Tony requested.
"Several radio transmissions indicate that five minutes ago a group of seven armed robbers were found restrained via web fluid by an SI owned store, six stun guns were found nearby as well as a pistol with a responding officer noting as of two minutes ago, discharged shell casings and what looked like blood was found on scene," FRIDAY reported. "Evidence response teams has not made it to the scene yet."
Well shit. It was Spiderman.
SHIT IT WAS SPIDERMAN-
He was fully out of bed now and moving.
"Start pinging cell towers within a seven-block radius of the location," Tony ordered as he threw open his door.
????
Hey it'll be okay
Do you see any landmarks?
Peter
You're not gonna kidnap me or call an ambulance, are you?
????
No
I'm coming to get you myself
You sound hurt
Peter
I think I am hurt pretty badly to be honest
The pool of blood is like... 4 feet wide now
I feel sick...
"I have pinged his location to a cell tower off of 42nd Avenue in Queens, shall I send directions to the suit?"
"YES!"
Peter was shaking.
Really bad.
His lips were tinged blue as his phone fell from his hand with a thunk against the concrete roof he was on.
He was having trouble seeing.
He was scared.
He's pretty sure he threw up at some point at the sheer amount of blood.
Oh god. I can't see. Was the second thing to pass through Peter B. Parkers head before he passed out on top of an apartment building in Queens in his Spiderman costume.
The first?
Is that the sound of repulsors...? What...?