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Jeongin had said fuck Hyunjin so many times during the last hour that the words had lost all meaning.
They had become a rhythm instead. A pulse. A curse that beat in time with the furious pounding of his heart as he strode through the employee corridor toward the crew reporting area. His polished shoes clicked sharply against the floor, each step carrying enough irritation to crack concrete. The automatic doors slid open in front of him, releasing a gust of cold air that smelled faintly of coffee and jet fuel. Christmas lights glowed from distant corners of the terminal. Families laughed. Children pointed excitedly at decorations. Somewhere, holiday music drifted through the speakers.
Jeongin wanted to set the entire airport on fire.
Fuck Hyunjin.
Just two hours ago he had been exactly where he belonged, curled up on his couch beneath a blanket, half-watching some ridiculous Christmas movie while demolishing an entire box of cookies. Outside, snow had dusted the city. Inside, everything had been warm. Peaceful. Perfect. For once, there had been nowhere to be. No passengers to smile at. No emergencies to manage. No pilots to tolerate. Just silence, cookies, and the rare luxury of doing absolutely nothing.
Then his phone rang.
Even now, standing beneath the harsh fluorescent lights of the airport, Jeongin could still remember staring at the screen. He should have ignored it. Every instinct had told him to ignore it. But years in aviation trained people to answer calls. Emergencies happened. Sometime flights needed crew. Plans changed. So he had answered.
The worst mistake of his Christmas.
The conversation replayed in his head for what felt like the hundredth time. The supervisor apologizing for the emergency shift to the overseas route and about the shortage of staff. Jeongin arguing immediately. Pointing out that it was his day off. Pointing out that he had worked overtime twice already this month and that someone else could take the flight.
Then came the sentence that had destroyed whatever remained of his holiday.
"Pilot Hwang specifically requested you."
Jeongin nearly walked into a wall remembering it.
His jaw clenched so hard that a dull ache spread through the side of his face. He stopped near a window overlooking the runway and closed his eyes for a second. Just one second. Because if he didn't, he was afraid he might genuinely commit a crime before boarding.
"Fuck you," he muttered under his breath.
The glass reflected his expression back at him. Neatly styled hair. Immaculate uniform. Professional appearance. Anyone looking at him would assume he was calm. Ready for duty. Nobody would know there was a violent internal monologue occurring behind that perfectly composed face.
Because the problem wasn't just that Hyunjin had requested him. The problem was that Hyunjin always requested him.
It was never enough for the man to simply exist. No. Somehow Hyunjin managed to insert himself into every corner of Jeongin's life like an incurable disease. Every time Jeongin thought he'd finally escaped him, there he was again. A new flight assignment. A schedule change. Some infuriating encounter in a corridor. The universe seemed determined to keep shoving them into the same room until one of them snapped.
Jeongin was rapidly approaching that point.
He rubbed a hand over his face and released a slow breath through his nose. Around him, airport employees moved with practiced efficiency. Luggage carts rolled past. Flight announcements echoed overhead. The entire world continued functioning normally while Jeongin stood there contemplating murder..
The worst part was knowing exactly how this flight would go. Hyunjin would stroll into briefing looking perfectly composed, perfectly confident, perfectly infuriating. He would act like requesting Jeongin on Christmas wasn't a problem. Like dragging him away from his holiday was a minor inconvenience and Jeongin should somehow be grateful.
The thought alone made his eye twitch.
"Unbelievable," he whispered. His voice disappeared into the noise of the terminal.
Because really, what kind of person did that? What kind of selfish asshole looked at a holiday schedule and thought, You know who should absolutely be working right now? The guy who hates me.
Maybe Hyunjin enjoyed it. That possibility bothered him more than he cared to admit.
There were people who annoyed others accidentally. Then there was Hyunjin. Hyunjin had a talent for it. An almost supernatural ability to crawl under someone's skin and stay there. Sometimes Jeongin genuinely suspected the man woke up each morning wondering how he could make life worse for everyone around him.
Especially Jeongin.
His phone buzzed with a scheduling notification. The sound dragged him back to reality. Duty first. Anger later. That was the rule. It didn't matter how furious he was. Once he stepped into his role as head flight attendant, passengers and crew came first and he hated that rule.
His personal vendettas had to wait. Jeongin hated that rule too.
Straightening the collar of his uniform, he drew himself up to his full height and stared through the window at the aircraft waiting beyond the glass. White lights blinked against the dark winter sky. Ground crews moved beneath the wings. Soon he would board. Soon he would have to smile. Soon he would have to perform professionalism while every nerve in his body screamed obscenities.
And somewhere on that aircraft, Hyunjin was waiting. Jeongin closed his eyes briefly. Then he opened them again and started walking.
"Fuck Hyunjin," he said one last time.
The words followed him down the corridor like a prayer gone wrong. By the time Jeongin reached the crew lounge, his anger had settled into something colder. The kind of anger that stopped burning and started sinking into the bones.
The room was already occupied when he pushed open the door. Crew members were scattered around the tables, checking schedules, sipping coffee, reviewing flight information. A few glanced up and greeted him. Jeongin managed a nod in return. Professional nod. Inside, however, he was still screaming.
Then his eyes landed on Hyunjin. Tall, relaxed, infuriatingly comfortable in his captain's uniform, as if he hadn't personally ruined someone's Christmas two hours earlier. The sight alone made Jeongin's stomach tighten.
Unfortunately, Hyunjin saw him at exactly the same moment. Even worse, he smiled. A smug smile that made Jeongin want to commit violence.
"Jeongin." His voice carried easily across the room.
Jeongin immediately regretted walking in. Hyunjin crossed the lounge with the confidence of someone who had never once doubted his own existence. When he stopped beside him, that stupid smile was still there.
"You'll be my eyes and ears for this flight." Jeongin stared.
Hyunjin continued as if nothing was wrong. "Let's work together. I am sure we will do it together." The smile widened.
Jeongin genuinely considered biting him. Pierce his nails deep inside Hyunjin’s skin until the whole airport rings with his screams. Instead, he clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt.
"Captain." The word came out sounding more like a threat than a title.
For a second, Hyunjin's eyes sparkled with amusement. As if this entire situation was funny. As if Jeongin wasn't standing there one misplaced comment away from strangling him with his own tie.
"Looking forward to a smooth flight," Hyunjin said.
Jeongin nearly laughed. A sharp, bitter sound rose in his throat before he swallowed it back down.
Fuck you.
The man had dragged him away from a warm blanket, Christmas movies, cookies, and the first proper break he'd had in weeks. Now he wanted teamwork. Jeongin gave him the tightest smile imaginable.
"I'll do my job." The message beneath the words was clear.
Hyunjin's eyes stayed on him for a moment before he finally stepped away. Unfortunately, Jeongin wasn't relieved. Because now he had actual work to do.
The second briefing started, his personal feelings were shoved into a locked box somewhere deep inside his chest. Years of training took over automatically. Head flight attendant mode clicked into place like a switch. He checked routes, passenger numbers, emergency procedures, crew assignments, everything. Yeji sat across from him, already making notes while Changbin reviewed passenger information beside her. Both of them looked considerably more awake than Jeongin felt.
He envied them. At least they hadn't spent the last two hours fantasizing about throwing their captain out of a moving aircraft.
The briefing ended quickly because before Jeongin knew it, they were walking through the jet bridge toward the aircraft. The reality of the situation hit him harder with every step. This wasn't some short domestic route. This was an overseas flight. Hours and hours trapped in a metal tube thirty thousand feet in the air. Hours of passengers responsibilities. Hours of smiling. Hours of Hyunjin. The realization nearly made him nauseous.
He had been so prepared for today.
The aircraft greeted him with familiar metallic scent and familiar ordering sounds. Crew members moved professionally through the cabin. Storage compartments opened and closed. Safety equipment was checked while passenger manifests were reviewed.
Jeongin slipped into the rhythm automatically. No one looking at him would have guessed he was barely holding himself together. No one would know that underneath the perfect uniform and composed expression was a man mourning the death of his Christmas vacation.
The boarding process began and the passengers flooded into the cabin. Questions or requests, Jeongin handled it all. First, because he was good at his job and second, professionalism was the only thing currently preventing him from walking off the aircraft.
Eventually the doors closed. The safety demonstrations by Yeji was finished. The aircraft pushed back from the gate and exactly then, the interphone rang. Jeongin stared at it. A bad feeling immediately settled in his stomach.
Slowly, he picked up the receiver. "Head flight attendant speaking."
"Jeongin." Hyunjin spoke.
Jeongin closed his eyes. "What is it, Captain?"
"Cabin secure?"
"Yes."
"Any issues?"
"No."
"Good."
Click.
The line disconnected. Jeongin stared at the receiver. That was it? That conversation required a phone call? He slowly returned the handset to its cradle.
Two minutes later it rang again.
Jeongin's eye twitched. By the fifth call, he was considering jumping out of the emergency exit. By the seventh, he was considering taking Hyunjin with him.
Each conversation was perfectly legitimate. Technically. Professional updates. Status reports. Passenger information. Minor questions.
Things that fell within normal operating procedures. The problem wasn't the calls themselves. The problem was the frequency. The constant interruptions. The sound of Hyunjin's voice appearing again and again and again inside his ear. Every time the interphone rang, Jeongin felt another fragment of patience leave his body. Meanwhile, Hyunjin sounded perfectly calm. Perfectly composed. As if he wasn't slowly driving someone insane.
Hours stretched ahead of them.
The ocean waited beyond the darkness outside the windows. Passengers settled into their seats. Cabin lights dimmed. And standing in the galley with the interphone clenched in his hand, Jeongin found himself staring toward the cockpit door with growing despair. The flight had barely begun. And somehow Hyunjin was already making it feel endless.
…………..
The interphone rang again. Jeongin didn't even took it immediately. He simply watched. The handset sat there innocently enough, tucked into its cradle, as if it hadn't spent the last hour personally attacking his mental stability.
It rang again.
Passengers nearby remained blissfully unaware of the violence currently occurring inside his head.
Slowly, very slowly, Jeongin reached for it.
"Head flight attendant speaking."
"Jeong…."
"If this plane crashes because you don't seem remotely interested in actually flying it," Jeongin cut in before Hyunjin could finish, "I will haunt you and cut your dick off."
There was a brief pause. Then laughter exploded through the receiver. Jeongin immediately regretted answering.
"Do you think I'll survive?" Hyunjin asked, amusement thick in his voice.
Jeongin leaned against the galley counter and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You will." Another laugh.
"Why am I surviving? I would be the first one to die."
Jeongin stared at the ceiling. "Because annoying people always live longer."
For a second there was silence. Then Hyunjin laughed again, louder this time. The sound irritated Jeongin far more than it should have. Not because it was unpleasant. That was the problem. It wasn't unpleasant. Actually it was warm and genuine and irritatingly human. Jeongin preferred it when he could convince himself Hyunjin was simply an asshole. The occasional reminders that he was actually a person complicated things.
"You're in a lovely mood tonight," Hyunjin said.
"Go fly the plane."
"That's literally what I'm doing."
"Do more of it."
Before Hyunjin could answer, Jeongin disconnected the call. The silence that followed felt wonderful. For approximately thirty seconds. Then his thoughts began wandering again, which was arguably worse.
Leaning against the counter, he folded his arms and stared through the cabin. Most passengers had settled into the comfortable pace of a long-haul flight. Reading lights glowed warmly above certain seats. Families chatted quietly. Children pointed excitedly at the dark windows. Christmas sweaters appeared throughout the cabin in shades of red, green, and white.
Everyone looked happy. Everyone looked exactly the way Jeongin had looked a few hours earlier.
That realization stung. His gaze lingered on a young couple sharing headphones. Across the aisle, an elderly woman carefully unwrapped homemade cookies from a tin. Several rows farther back, someone wore a ridiculous reindeer headband.
Christmas had always been his favorite holiday. Not because of presents or parties. Just... everything. The strange feeling that the world softened a little for a few days. Every year, no matter how busy life became, Christmas remained special. And this year he'd finally had plans for a perfect day. The kind of day nobody else would understand missing unless they'd spent months exhausted.
Now he was thirty thousand feet above the ocean instead. The thought made his chest ache with disappointment. Trying to distract himself, Jeongin let his mind drift elsewhere, unfortunately, it drifted directly toward Hyunjin.
Because apparently even his own thoughts enjoyed tormenting him.
When had this hatred started? The question appeared suddenly, not for the first time, either. Over the years, he'd asked himself that exact question dozens of times. And every time he came up empty. The weirdest part was that he had known Hyunjin long before aviation. They had attended the same school. Hyunjin had been older and was a senior. Jeongin remembered that much. He remembered seeing him in hallways. Remembered hearing his name occasionally, but that was all.
After graduation, Hyunjin disappeared from his life completely. Then years later aviation happened and suddenly there he was again. The same face. The same infuriating confidence as if life had simply pressed pause and resumed years later. Jeongin couldn't pinpoint when irritation became dislike or when dislike transformed into genuine hatred. Somewhere between endless flights and endless arguments, it had happened. Now it felt so permanent that imagining anything different seemed impossible.
His eyes drifted across the cabin once more. Outside the windows there was only darkness and distant stars. Inside, however, Christmas remained alive. Passengers laughed softly, while someone hummed a holiday song under their breath.
The sight should have made him happy. Instead it made him sad. For a moment, Jeongin simply stood there listening to the tune of the holiday song being sung. He smiled contemplating his life.
“You’re again mad?” Ryujin asked tapping his shoulders.
“Do I look mad? I don’t look sad?” He asked wincing as he pushed her hands off his shoulders because Ryujin didn’t know the difference between tapping and smacking.
“Well. For starters, you barely show any emotions. How the fuck am I supposed to say when are you happy, sad or someone just pinched your ass?”
Jeongin pinched his nose bridge. “You weren’t scheduled for this flight? Were you called at the last minute too?”
“Nope, my wife was flying so I had too. This will be my third Christmas with Yeji and I couldn’t break the streak.” Ryujin scrunched her nose. “ My wife’s so gorgeous.”
Jeongin sighed. Same flight, different stories.
"You should start dating someone too," Ryujin said. "That way you'll have some memories to smile about during flights."
She glanced around the cabin, then back at him. A slow, suspicious grin spread across her face.
"Actually..." she dragged out. "Why don't you just date Captain Hwang?"
Jeongin stared at her. Ryujin shrugged innocently. "Think about it. You two already spend half your lives arguing. That's basically foreplay in some relationships."
"Go away."
"Am I wrong? The chemistry is there."
Jeongin looked at her with the same expression someone might reserve for a cockroach that had started speaking.
"Ryujin," he said calmly, "if I ever date Hyunjin, it will be because I've developed a severe brain injury." She slapped a hand across her face to stop herself from laughing. "No, seriously. Check me into a hospital. Run every neurological test available. Scan my brain. Publish the results. Medical science deserves to know what went so catastrophically wrong."
Ryujin doubled over, trying and failing to contain her laughter. "You're dramatic. He's handsome, funny, rich."
"Wonderful. He can afford his own funeral then."
Ryujin wiped at the corner of her eye. "You're unbelievable."
"No." Jeongin folded his arms. "What's unbelievable is that you looked at the two of us and thought, 'Yes, romance. That's definitely what's happening here.'"
She grinned shamelessly. "One day you'll thank me."
Jeongin gave her a flat look. “Go bother your wife. If I see you roaming round, I will put you on the interphone duty."
“Bitch.”
……………….
The flight eventually ended. By that point, Jeongin was surviving almost entirely on professionalism, caffeine, and spite.
Mostly spite.
The moment the wheels touched the runway, passengers broke into the familiar ritual of long-haul arrivals. Seatbelts clicked open the second they were allowed. Overhead bins slammed. Phones appeared and conversations started. Everyone suddenly remembered they had somewhere to be.
Meanwhile, Jeongin and the rest of the crew slipped into autopilot. The same routine repeated dozens of times. He stood near the aircraft door thanking passengers as they disembarked, his face carrying the polite smile he'd perfected years ago.
Inside, however, he felt approximately ninety years old. His shoulders ached. His feet hurt while his eyes burned from exhaustion. And all he wanted was a bed. A very large bed. In a very private room far away from pilots. Especially one specific pilot.
As the last passengers stepped off the aircraft, Jeongin finally allowed himself to exhale.
He was collecting paperwork when Hyunjin appeared beside him. "Good work."
Jeongin glanced up.
Hyunjin was smiling. Of course he was smiling. The man looked disgustingly refreshed for someone who had also just completed an overseas flight.
Jeongin rolled his eyes so hard they nearly disappeared into another dimension. "Don't."
Hyunjin's smile widened. "I didn't even say anything."
"Exactly." That only seemed to amuse him further.
Jeongin immediately walked away before airport security ended up filing paperwork involving assault.
The crew transportation eventually arrived and carried them toward the hotel assigned by the airline. By then darkness had settled heavily over the city, and exhaustion sat in Jeongin's bones like wet cement.
Outside the vehicle windows, unfamiliar streets blurred past. Inside, most of the crew had fallen quiet. Everyone was tired. The best part was knowing they had seventy-two hours before the return flight. Enough time to actually relax. The thought alone improved his mood slightly.
Not much. But slightly.
By the time they entered the hotel lobby, Jeongin was already imagining room service and a shower hot enough to melt skin.
Unfortunately, life clearly hated him. Because the second room assignments were mentioned, disaster struck.
"There have been some changes."
Jeongin immediately disliked those words. Years in aviation had taught him that absolutely nothing good ever followed the phrase some changes. The hotel representative continued speaking while several crew members exchanged confused looks. Apparently, due to some booking issue and a shortage of available rooms, a portion of the crew would need to share accommodations.
The silence that followed was immediate.
Jeongin blinked. "No."
The word escaped before he could stop it. Several heads turned toward him.
"No," he repeated. "Absolutely not."
The hotel representative looked startled. Jeongin pointed at himself. "I just survived an international flight. I am not sharing a room with anybody." The exhaustion made him unusually honest.
Normally he would have filtered himself. Tonight he couldn't be bothered.
"I need silence." A pause. "A bed." Another pause. "And preferably nobody breathing near me."
Changbin laughed somewhere behind him.
Jeongin didn't. He was completely serious. The room assignments continued anyway because apparently his suffering was legally required. People began negotiating while others volunteered. Crew members shuffled around attempting to find workable arrangements.
Jeongin crossed his arms and watched the entire disaster unfold with growing irritation.
Then Hyunjin stepped forward. "I'll handle it."
The words immediately drew attention. Even Jeongin looked over. Hyunjin was already speaking to the hotel desk staff in a problem-solving mode activated. For the first time all day, Jeongin felt some of his anger loosen.
Only a little. But enough to surprise him. Maybe Hyunjin was actually trying to help. After all, arranging rooms wasn't technically his responsibility. Yet there he was, discussing options with management while everyone else waited. Maybe he had finally decided not to be an asshole or maybe exhaustion was making Jeongin sentimental.
Maybe Christmas spirit hadn't completely died.
For one ridiculous moment, he actually thought Hyunjin might secure him a private room. The realization almost made him feel guilty for every violent thought he'd had during the flight.
Several minutes later, Hyunjin returned.
"I figured it out." Relief immediately flooded Jeongin.
See? Maybe-
"You'll be with Changbin."
The relief died. Instantly. Jeongin stared.
"What?"
Changbin looked equally surprised. Hyunjin continued as though he hadn't just detonated a bomb.
"The arrangement works best."
Jeongin narrowed his eyes. A terrible feeling began creeping up his spine. Slowly, very slowly, he looked at the room list. Then he looked at Hyunjin. Then back at the list. The bastard had arranged a private room for himself.
A completely private room.
Meanwhile Jeongin was apparently expected to share. The betrayal felt personal.
"So let me understand this."
His voice became dangerously calm.
"You solved the problem." Hyunjin nodded. "By getting yourself a room." Another nod. "A private room."
"Yes."
Jeongin smiled. The expression contained absolutely no happiness whatsoever.
"And your solution was putting me with Changbin."
The smile disappeared from Hyunjin's face which only made Jeongin angrier. Because now the man suddenly looked cautious. As if he recognized danger.
Good. He should.
Because Jeongin was seconds away from launching himself across the lobby. All the tiny positive feelings he'd briefly experienced vanished without a trace. Somewhere during the flight, he'd foolishly wondered whether Hyunjin might not be entirely terrible.
Standing in the hotel lobby, staring at the room assignments, Jeongin realized that had been the most embarrassing thought he'd had all year.
And considering the year he'd had, that was saying something.
"Congratulations, Captain," he said sweetly.
The sweetness made several crew members visibly nervous.
"You've somehow managed to ruin Christmas in two different countries."
Then he grabbed his suitcase and walked toward the elevators before he said something that would require a meeting with Human Resources.
………………
The bathroom mirror had witnessed three near-breakdowns before Jeongin finally escaped it.
The first had happened while he stood beneath the shower, hot water beating against the back of his neck. One moment he had been trying to relax; the next, his throat had tightened so suddenly that he had to brace a hand against the tiled wall. He'd swallowed hard, blinked rapidly, and told himself to get a grip. It was just a ruined Christmas. Just a flight. Just seventy-two hours in another country. Yet the disappointment had settled somewhere deep in his chest and refused to move. The second time, an actual choking sound escaped him. The third time, tears reached his eyes, and only sheer stubbornness had stopped them from falling. By then he was angry at Hyunjin, angry at the airline, angry at himself for caring so much.
When he finally emerged from the bathroom dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants, the room was dark except for the bedside lamp. Changbin had already claimed his bed and fallen asleep with the efficiency of a man whose conscience was completely clear. Worse, he was snoring loudly. Jeongin stood there staring at him for several seconds as another snore rattled through the room. Somehow that was the final insult. Not the flight nor Hyunjin. Not even Christmas being stolen from him. Changbin sleeping peacefully while Jeongin felt like his soul had been dragged behind the aircraft was what finally broke him.
"Unbelievable," he muttered, sitting heavily on the edge of his bed. His eyes burned again. He rubbed at them angrily. "Absolutely fucking unbelievable."
The complimentary bottle of wine sat on the desk nearby. Jeongin looked at it. The wine looked back. Five minutes later, the bottle was open. Ten minutes later, it was half-empty. Twenty minutes later, good decisions were no longer being made.
He sat on the floor beside the bed with the bottle in one hand, staring at the patterned carpet while his thoughts spiraled in increasingly illogical circles. Every path somehow led back to Hyunjin. Hyunjin requesting him. Hyunjin smiling. Hyunjin calling on the interphone every five minutes. Hyunjin existing. The man occupied far too much space in his life for someone Jeongin supposedly hated.
"Fuck Hyunjin," he informed the empty room. Another drink. Then another.
The sadness softened around the edges while the emotions underneath became larger. Less organized. Harder to ignore. By the time he stood up, he wasn't entirely sure why he was standing. He only knew he needed to see Hyunjin immediately. The logic behind that decision was deeply flawed, but alcohol had apparently dismissed logic several glasses ago.
The hotel hallway seemed longer than before. The carpet shifted suspiciously beneath his feet. The walls felt judgmental. Somehow he made it to Hyunjin's door anyway and pounded on it hard enough to wake several generations of ancestors.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
The door opened.
Hyunjin stood there fresh from the shower, damp hair pushed back from his forehead, a towel wrapped around his waist. His expression started as annoyance. Then stopped because standing outside his room was Jeongin.
And Jeongin was crying.
Tears slid down his face unchecked, one after another, while his lower lip trembled despite his obvious efforts to stop it. His eyes were red. His cheeks were flushed. He looked exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with the flight.
For a second, neither of them spoke.
Hyunjin simply stared. Jeongin cried harder.
The sight hit Hyunjin strangely. Wrongly. Like walking into a familiar room and finding all the furniture rearranged. Jeongin was supposed to glare at him. Threaten him. Roll his eyes so aggressively they nearly detached. Crying wasn't part of the picture.
"Jeongin..." Hyunjin said carefully.
Jeongin immediately pointed a shaky finger at him.
"I hate you."
The words cracked in the middle.
Hyunjin blinked. Two guests exited a nearby elevator and glanced curiously down the hallway.
"Oh, for God's sake." Before anyone could witness more of this disaster, Hyunjin grabbed Jeongin's wrist and pulled him inside. The door shut quickly behind them.
The room fell silent.
Jeongin remained standing near the entrance, tears still sliding down his face. Hyunjin suddenly had absolutely no idea what to do.
"What happened?"
No answer.
"Why are you crying?"
Still nothing. Only another shaky breath. Then another. Finally, Jeongin looked up.
"I hate you."
"Yes, you've mentioned that."
"I really hate you."
The sentence dissolved into a sniffle.
Hyunjin rubbed a hand over his face. "You're drunk."
"I am not."
"You absolutely are."
"I hate you."
The words came so automatically that even Jeongin seemed surprised by them. Another tear escaped. Then another. Hyunjin caught the scent of wine lasting around him and understood immediately. Not just one glass, either. Enough wine to turn anger into sadness and sadness into tears.
For reasons he couldn't explain, guilt began creeping unpleasantly into his chest. "Jeongin," he said more quietly this time. "What is this actually about?"
Jeongin laughed a miserable sound.
"You ruined Christmas."
The accusation landed with surprising force.
Jeongin wiped furiously at his face and failed to stop more tears from appearing. "You ruined my Christmas. Do you know how excited I was? Do you know how much I wanted that day off?" His voice cracked again. "I had plans."
Something about the way he said it made the room feel smaller.
For the first time all day, Hyunjin stopped seeing an angry flight attendant and started seeing someone genuinely hurt. Someone who had been holding himself together for hours and had finally run out of strength. Jeongin stood there crying, drunk, furious, and heartbreakingly sincere, and Hyunjin felt that uncomfortable guilt settle deeper.
Guilt was not an emotion Hyunjin enjoyed.
In fact, he spent most of his life avoiding it. Pilots made decisions. They moved forward. They dealt with consequences afterward. Hesitation got people nowhere. Second-guessing yourself got people nowhere. Yet as he sat on the edge of his hotel bed watching tears continue to slide down Jeongin's face, guilt settled heavily into his chest and refused to leave. It was made worse by the fact that Jeongin wasn't yelling anymore. Hyunjin could handle yelling. He preferred yelling. Anger was familiar territory. This quiet, miserable crying felt far more uncomfortable.
"Hey," he said carefully, taking a cautious step closer. "Come sit down."
Jeongin immediately shook his head. "No." His voice cracked, and another tear rolled down his cheek. Hyunjin sighed. "You're swaying."
"I'm perfectly fi…"
The sentence ended abruptly when Jeongin nearly lost his balance. Hyunjin moved instinctively, catching his arm before he could stumble. Jeongin immediately tried to pull away.
"Don't touch me." The protest would have sounded more threatening if he hadn't been crying through it.
"Fine," Hyunjin muttered. "Stand there and fall over then."
Jeongin glared or attempted to. The effect was significantly weakened by the tears. For several seconds they remained exactly like that, Hyunjin holding onto his arm while Jeongin half-heartedly attempted to escape. Eventually it became obvious that alcohol and exhaustion had won the battle. His movements slowed. His resistance weakened. He looked tired more than anything else.
Without really thinking about it, Hyunjin guided him toward the bed. Jeongin immediately pushed at his shoulder.
"I hate you."
"Yes."
Another push. "I really hate you."
"I know."
Yet despite all the complaints, Jeongin lacked enough coordination to actually move anywhere. The second Hyunjin sat down, Jeongin nearly tipped sideways. Instinctively, Hyunjin caught him again, pulling him closer before he could slide onto the floor. The position was awkward. Unexpectedly intimate. Jeongin sitting half across his lap while still attempting to shove him away every few seconds. Neither of them acknowledged it. Mostly because Jeongin was too busy crying.
"I haven't done anything to you." The words came suddenly. More wounded than angry. Hyunjin froze. Jeongin looked down at his own hands. His shoulders trembled.
"I haven't." Another tear fell. "I don't understand."
The room felt quieter. Somewhere far below, traffic moved through unfamiliar streets. Yet all Hyunjin could hear was Jeongin's uneven breathing. "I listen to everything you say. I do my job. If you ask me to do something, I do it." His voice cracked again. "So why do you keep bothering me?"
Hyunjin didn't answer. Because he couldn't.
Jeongin finally looked up. His eyes were red. His cheeks were wet. And somehow that made everything worse. "What did I do?" The question hit harder than it should have. "What did I actually do to you?"
For the first time in years, Hyunjin found himself wishing he had a better answer. A reasonable answer. Anything. Instead, the truth sat in his chest looking increasingly pathetic. Because Jeongin was right. He hadn't done anything. Not really. The entire situation sounded ridiculous when viewed from the outside. Painfully ridiculous.
Hyunjin had liked him. That was it. There wasn't some grand betrayal or some dramatic conflict. There wasn't some life-altering event. Just a stupid crush that had refused to die. And when Jeongin hadn't reciprocated those feelings, Hyunjin had reacted in the most immature way possible. He'd kept pulling on the thread. Looking for reactions. Looking for attention. Looking for anything.
Arguments. Eye-rolls. Annoyance. Anger. Anything directed at him felt better than being ignored. At some point, the habit had become second nature. Now, sitting there with a crying Jeongin in his arms, the entire thing suddenly looked incredibly cowardly. Incredibly selfish. And embarrassingly juvenile. He felt like an idiot. A very large idiot.
Meanwhile, Jeongin continued talking through tears. "I don't even know when this started." His words were beginning to slur together. "Every time I see you, you're annoying me. Every flight, every airport." Another tear slipped free. "I don't understand."
Hyunjin stared at the top of his head. The guilt deepened. Because every complaint was justified. Every single one. And the worst part was that Jeongin wasn't even being dramatic. If anything, he was understating it.
A miserable laugh escaped him. The sound surprised both of them. Jeongin frowned immediately. "Why are you laughing?"
"I'm not laughing at you."
"Then what?"
Hyunjin opened his mouth. Then closed it again. Because what was he supposed to say? Sorry for ruining your Christmas. Sorry for spending years acting like a complete asshole. Sorry for turning a crush into a personality disorder. None of those seemed particularly useful. Jeongin stared at him expectantly. Waiting. Demanding answers. Hyunjin had none.
Hyunjin looked down at the crying man in his arms and wondered, not for the first time, how everything had gone so spectacularly wrong. Jeongin was still waiting for an answer. Still looking wounded. Still expecting some explanation that would make years of irritation and arguments suddenly make sense. But Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to say that it’s all because he had been hopelessly carrying this ridiculous crush for years.
Longer than any sane person should.
Back in high school, Hyunjin had been popular without particularly trying. People knew who he was. Teachers knew him. Students knew him. If he walked into a room, heads turned. At the time, he'd considered that a useful advantage. Surely it would help. Surely it would make getting Jeongin's attention easier.
It hadn't. That was the problem. Everyone noticed Hyunjin. Everyone except Jeongin.
The irony had driven him insane.
Hyunjin could still remember spotting Jeongin across hallways, in cafeterias, near the school gates. He remembered dragging his entire friend group to places they had absolutely no reason to be, purely because Jeongin happened to be there.
"Why are we eating lunch here?" one of his friends had complained once.
"Because I said so," Hyunjin had answered. The truth, of course, was that Jeongin was sitting three tables away.
And none of it worked. Not a single time.
Jeongin never seemed particularly interested in who was popular, who wasn't, who was staring at him, or who was practically performing gymnastics trying to get noticed. He went about his day with frustrating indifference. Meanwhile, Hyunjin would spend entire afternoons wondering whether Jeongin had looked in his direction for half a second.
The worst part was that before any of his increasingly desperate efforts could accomplish anything, life moved on. Graduation arrived. University happened. People scattered. One day Hyunjin saw Jeongin regularly, and the next he didn't see him at all. Years passed. The crush should have disappeared. It should have died naturally from lack of contact.
It didn't.
Then aviation happened. Hyunjin became a pilot.
Life became schedules, airports, training programs, flights, and endless hours in cockpits. Eventually he stopped expecting to ever see Jeongin again. It seemed ridiculous to think otherwise. The world was large. People moved on. Sometimes that's how life worked.
Then one day he walked into the aviation center and saw a familiar face.
Jeongin. Standing there in uniform.
Looking different.
Looking exactly the same.
Hyunjin had nearly walked into a wall.
For several seconds, he genuinely thought his brain had invented the entire thing.
After that, he tried the normal approach. He really did. He'd attempted conversations. Professional greetings. Casual small talk.
"Morning, Jeongin."
"Good shift?"
"How's your day going?"
Completely reasonable interactions between two adults. Unfortunately, Jeongin usually answered politely before immediately returning his attention to work. Passenger manifests. Crew responsibilities. Safety procedures. Whatever he happened to be doing always seemed more important.
Which, to be fair, it probably was. Still, it had driven Hyunjin crazy. So eventually he'd started teasing him. Then annoying him. Then purposely finding reasons to bother him. Not because he enjoyed upsetting him. At least not initially. But because irritation got reactions.
Unfortunately, that had somehow become their entire dynamic.
Now, sitting in a hotel room with a crying Jeongin half-curled against him, the whole thing felt unbelievably stupid. Every decision looked worse in hindsight. Every attempt at getting attention looked more childish than the last. Hyunjin stared down at him and felt embarrassment crawl up his spine.
Jeongin finally turned his head back toward him. His eyes were red from crying. His cheeks were damp. More tears slipped free despite his obvious efforts to stop them. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Hyunjin lifted a hand and carefully brushed one of the tears away with his thumb.
Jeongin immediately frowned. Another tear escaped. Hyunjin wiped it away before he could stop himself. Jeongin's expression somehow became even more offended. Then, with all the seriousness of a drunk man plotting world domination, he pointed a finger directly at Hyunjin's chest.
"I will take revenge on you." Hyunjin blinked.
Jeongin suddenly shifted in Hyunjin's arms, apparently deciding he was finished being emotional and would now return to being stubborn. He planted a hand against the mattress and tried to push himself upright. Unfortunately, alcohol, exhaustion, and basic physics were all working against him. The movement was clumsy, uncoordinated, and far less successful than he'd intended.
"Careful," Hyunjin muttered automatically.
"I'm fine."
"You've said that three times tonight."
"I am."
Jeongin attempted to sit properly anyway. In the process, he rubbed himself against Hyunjins crotch and nearly lost his balance again and ended up much closer than either of them expected. The sudden proximity caught Hyunjin off guard. For a brief second, his thoughts scattered entirely. He was acutely aware of Jeongin pressing down on him, and the fact that the man was currently occupying far too much of his personal space.
Hyunjin immediately looked away because the last thing Jeongin needed tonight was more complications and Hyunjin a reminder that his feelings had never actually gone away.
Years later, they were apparently still capable of making him feel like an idiot.
"Where are you trying to go?" Hyunjin asked, forcing his attention back to the conversation.
"My room." The answer came immediately.
Jeongin was already trying to pry Hyunjin's arm away from around his waist. Unfortunately, his efforts lacked conviction. His fingers missed their target twice. On the third attempt, he looked annoyed by his own lack of coordination.
"My room," he repeated stubbornly.
"You can barely stand. You almost fell over five minutes ago."
Jeongin frowned for several seconds. Then frowned harder because apparently he couldn't think of an answer. Hyunjin almost smiled. Instead he shook his head and adjusted the blanket lying across the bed.
"Lie down."
"No."
"We'll talk in the morning."
That only seemed to offend him further. "I don't want to."
"You don't want to sleep?"
"I don't want to talk in the morning." The honesty surprised both of them.
For a moment, Jeongin looked almost startled by his own confession. Then he crossed his arms and looked away, as if refusing eye contact would somehow erase the statement.
Hyunjin understood more than he wanted to. Morning meant dealing with feelings that couldn't be blamed on wine. "Too bad," Hyunjin said quietly. "We're talking in the morning."
Jeongin opened his mouth to argue but he yawned instead. Before Jeongin could begin a fresh round of protests, Hyunjin grabbed the blanket and pulled it over him. The movement was so unexpected that Jeongin froze. By the time he recovered, he was already tucked beneath the covers.
Jeongin made an outraged noise but then immediately sank deeper into the mattress.
For several minutes he continued complaining anyway. Mostly under his breath, incoherent words that Hyunjin was trying to put together. The complaints ranged from Hyunjin ruining Christmas to airline scheduling policies to the existence of pilots in general. Hyunjin listened
quietly, responding only occasionally with a distracted hum.
Eventually the complaints became slower, then farther apart.
The room grew quiet as exhaustion finally caught up to them both. Jeongin shifted beneath the blankets one last time, still looking vaguely irritated even as sleep began pulling him under.
"Fuck you," he mumbled. Hyunjin looked down at him.
The words should have hurt, instead they made something ache quietly in his chest.
"I know."
Jeongin's eyes were already closed.
A few seconds later, his breathing evened out completely.
And despite all the arguments, all the tears, all the years of mutual frustration, Hyunjin remained sitting there for a long moment afterward, watching the man who supposedly hated him fall asleep, wondering how he'd managed to make such a complete mess of something that had begun with something as simple as liking him.
……………
Hyunjin didn't know when he eventually fell asleep.
At some point, after making sure Jeongin's breathing had evened out and that he was actually asleep instead of pretending to be, he finally lied down. The day had been long and the flight had been longer. The emotional disaster that followed had drained whatever energy remained. One moment he was staring at the ceiling, replaying every mistake he'd made over the years, and the next everything disappeared into darkness.
Something moving beside him woke him hours later.
Not fully but enough.
The room was dark except for a faint glow slipping through the curtains. For several seconds, Jeongin simply sat there in confusion. His head hurt. His mouth was dry. His memories were scattered pieces that refused to fit together. He blinked slowly and looked around the unfamiliar room before turning his head sideways.
Then he saw Hyunjin.
Jeongin nearly kicked him. "What the fuck—" The words died halfway out of his mouth. His eyes widened as his brain desperately attempted to catch up.
Why was Hyunjin here?
Why was he here?
More importantly, where the hell was Changbin?
Panic immediately overrode common sense. Jeongin threw the blanket aside and attempted to climb out of bed. Unfortunately, the second his feet touched the floor, the room tilted alarmingly. He grabbed the edge of the mattress before falling over completely.
Before he could take another step, two arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him backward.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Hyunjin's voice was rough with sleep. He tightened his grip as Jeongin immediately started struggling.
"Let go of me!"
"No."
"What do you mean no?"
"Exactly what it sounds like."
Hyunjin barely opened one eye before dragging him back onto the mattress. His voice still sounded half-asleep. "Why are you awake at like twelve in the morning?"
Jeongin stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. "What are you doing here?" A pause. "And where is Changbin hyung?"
Hyunjin closed his eyes again. "It is way too late for an interview."
"What?"
"Sleep. I'll explain everything in the morning."
Jeongin glared. The expression carried enough suspicion to fuel a criminal investigation.
"No."
"Jeongin."
"No."
Hyunjin groaned into his pillow. The sound suggested profound suffering. Then, before Jeongin could continue arguing, Hyunjin suddenly grabbed him and pulled him back under the blanket. The movement was so unexpected that Jeongin forgot what he was saying for approximately three seconds. Then he resumed struggling.
"Hey!"
"Go to sleep."
"I am not sleeping here."
"You are."
Jeongin looked personally offended.
He tried sitting up but Hyunjin immediately pulled him back down. He tried rolling away and Hyunjin caught him again. He tried scooting toward the edge of the mattress. Hyunjin reacted by wrapping an arm around his waist and dragging him right back.
"I'll report you." The threat came out dramatically but Hyunjin wasn't impressed. "You report me every other week."
"This time I'll mean it."
"Sure."
Seeing his usual threats being completely ignored only irritated Jeongin further. He squirmed harder, attempting to free himself from Hyunjin's hold. Unfortunately, exhaustion, alcohol, and poor decision-making had combined into a devastating weakness.
His escape attempt failed immediately. Hyunjin, meanwhile, appeared determined to solve the problem in the simplest way possible. Without opening his eyes, he shifted closer and then threw one leg over Jeongin just like that.
Jeongin froze. "What the hell? You can't trap people." Another hum.
Apparently Hyunjin disagreed.
Jeongin attempted one final escape. He managed approximately two inches before realizing the effort was completely pointless. Trapped beneath an arm, a blanket, and one annoyingly heavy leg, he was effectively imprisoned.
"This is abuse."
"Sleep."
The response was immediate. Barely coherent. And that was when Jeongin realized something important. Hyunjin was already half asleep again. The bastard wasn't even fully conscious.
For several seconds, Jeongin glared furiously into the darkness. Then, despite his determination to remain angry, another yawn escaped him. His head sank deeper into the pillow. His eyes felt heavier. The room remained pleasantly warm.
He waited until Hyunjin's breathing sounded steady again before attempting another escape. Very carefully, he lifted the heavy arm draped across his waist and tried sliding toward the edge of the mattress. He had made it exactly halfway when the mattress shifted behind him.
"Seriously?" Hyunjin's sleepy voice made Jeongin freeze.
For a moment neither moved.
Then Jeongin continued anyway. "I'm leaving."
Hyunjin reached forward and caught the back of his shirt before he could stumble off the bed. Jeongin immediately scowled. "Let go."
"You're drunk."
"I am absolutely fine now."
Hyunjin sighed and pulled him back onto the mattress. "You're still drunk."
"I'm not."
"Then why are you awake at this hour?" Hyunjin asked. "Sleep."
Jeongin folded his arms stubbornly. "No."
Hyunjin stared at the back of his head for several seconds before slowly sitting up. The room was dim, illuminated only by a few city lights. For once, there was no teasing expression on his face. No smug smile. No sarcastic comment waiting to appear.
"I'm sorry." The words were so unexpected that Jeongin almost turned around immediately. Instead, he stayed exactly where he was, facing away from him.
Silent.
Hyunjin rubbed a hand over his face and took a long breath. "I was being... childish." The word sounded inadequate somehow. "Selfish too." Another pause. "Mostly selfish."
Jeongin still didn't say anything. The silence stretched between them. For the first time in years, Hyunjin seemed completely unsure of himself. Finally, he spoke again.
"I like you, Jeongin." The room went completely still.
Jeongin's eyes widened. For a second he genuinely wondered whether he was still drunk enough to be hallucinating.
"What?" The word slipped out before he could stop it.
Hyunjin laughed nervously once. A very unfamiliar sound coming from him. "Yeah. I know."
Jeongin slowly turned around. Hyunjin looked almost embarrassed, which somehow felt even more unbelievable than the confession itself.
"Worst timing imaginable," Hyunjin admitted. "I know that." He looked away briefly before forcing himself to continue. "But if I don't say it now, I know I never will."
Jeongin stared like he wanted to punch. "Is this how you treat someone you like?" The question hit with surprising force. Hyunjin winced. Because honestly? Fair.
"No."
"Good answer."
"Hmm?"
"No, seriously." Jeongin gestured wildly. "You've spent years annoying me. You constantly bother me. Act like a complete menace."
"I know."
Jeongin threw both hands into the air. "Then what is wrong with you?"
Hyunjin groaned. "A lot of things, apparently."
For the first time since the conversation started, a tiny smile threatened to appear on Jeongin's face. It vanished immediately but Hyunjin caught it.
"I just..." Hyunjin started before stopping. "I couldn't get any reaction out of you." He shook his head. "You treated me exactly the same way you treated everyone else." His voice grew quieter. "Professional. Polite. Friendly." A bitter laugh escaped him. "Meanwhile I was losing my mind."
Jeongin blinked. The explanation was somehow worse than he'd expected.
"You're telling me," he said slowly, "that all of this happened because you wanted attention?" Hyunjin looked away, which was answer enough.
For several seconds, Jeongin simply stared at him. Then he smacked him on the arm hard.
"Ow!"
"You donkey!" Another smack. "Years of this. You absolute idiot." Hyunjin caught his wrist before another attack could land. Despite the complaints, the fact that none of this magically fixed anything, the room somehow felt lighter than before.
Because for the first time ever, Hyunjin was being honest. And for the first time ever, Jeongin finally had an answer.
"You could've just asked nicely," Jeongin muttered.
Hyunjin stared. "What?"
Jeongin rolled his eyes. "If you wanted to talk to me, you could've just asked nicely." The silence that followed lasted exactly a breath.
Then Hyunjin dropped his head into his hands. Because somehow, after years of complicated schemes, arguments, teasing, and mutual frustration, the solution had apparently been that simple.
Hyunjin buried his face in his hands, neither of them spoke. Then Jeongin seemed to remember he was still angry. Very angry. Years-of-his-life-had-been-shortened angry. So instead of calming down, he climbed across the mattress and planted himself directly in front of Hyunjin, interlocking him between his legs. Hyunjin looked up and immediately regretted it, because Jeongin was already pointing a finger at him.
"What?"
"No," Jeongin said. "You are going to sit there and listen."
Hyunjin wisely chose silence. Jeongin folded his arms and started. "Yeji and Ryujin are dating too, you know." The accusation came out as if it were somehow crucial evidence.
Hyunjin blinked. "I don't see what that has to do with…"
"Did you see how Ryujin confessed?" Jeongin interrupted.
"Flowers. Communication. Actual fucking words. Like a normal person."
Another accusing poke landed on Hyunjin's shoulder. "My last few years were spent one second away from my nerves completely bursting because of you. Every flight, every schedule, I genuinely thought you hated me."
The last sentence came out quieter. More honest. Hyunjin's expression softened immediately, but Jeongin wasn't finished. He crossed his arms tighter and looked away. "If you had just told me properly..." He sighed heavily. "Like an actual adult man. I would've considered it."
Hyunjin froze. "What?"
Jeongin rolled his eyes. "Don't make me repeat myself."
"No, seriously. What do you mean you would've considered it?"
Jeongin looked offended that he even had to explain. "I mean exactly what I said.” He paused. “It's true I don't jump into relationships quickly," Jeongin continued. "I like taking my time. I like thinking things through. I don't just say yes because someone asks." He shrugged. "But I would've tried."
The room became suspiciously quiet. Hyunjin simply stared at him. Meanwhile, Jeongin kept talking, apparently unaware that he'd just detonated a bomb inside Hyunjin's brain. "Instead you chose psychological warfare. Do you know how exhausting you are?"
Hyunjin wasn't really listening anymore. Or rather, he was listening, but not to the words. His attention kept drifting to the way Jeongin's hair fell over his forehead, to the way his eyes flashed whenever he got worked up, to the fact that he was sitting impossibly close. In Hyunjin's opinion, Jeongin had always been pretty. Painfully pretty. But this was the closest he'd ever been to him.
"And another thing," Jeongin continued, clearly committed to finishing his speech. "You are genuinely one of the most irritating people I have ever met." Hyunjin stared. "Are you even listening?" Jeongin demanded.
"Not really."
Jeongin looked outraged. "Excuse me?"
Hyunjin smiled. The kind that usually led to trouble. Jeongin immediately narrowed his eyes. "What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing."
"That's a lie."
"Hyunjin."
The warning came too late. Because Hyunjin had never been particularly talented at ignoring opportunities, and right now Jeongin was sitting on his lap admitting he might have given him a chance years ago if only he'd acted like a normal human being. Hyunjin looked at him for a long moment before lifting one hand toward the back of his head.
Jeongin's eyes widened instantly. "Wait."
The rest of the sentence disappeared when Hyunjin leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't rushed. It wasn't demanding. It was simply years of unsaid feelings colliding with a moment neither of them had expected to reach. For one stunned second, Jeongin froze completely, his brain apparently abandoning all function.
Then Hyunjin pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him. Silence filled the room. Absolute silence. Jeongin stared at him as though he'd forgotten every language he knew. Hyunjin stared back, suddenly aware that he'd probably just made another terrible decision. But he paid less attention to that and kissed him again.
The first thing Hyunjin discovered was that Jeongin was terrible at kissing.
The realization arrived almost immediately and would have been funny under different circumstances. There was hesitation in every movement, uncertainty in every reaction, as though Jeongin's brain was still trying to process the fact that this was happening at all. The second thing Hyunjin discovered was far more distracting.
Jeongin's lips were incredibly soft. He had always suspected they might be.
Years of secretly noticing the way they curved when Jeongin smiled or pressed into a thin line whenever he was annoyed had given Hyunjin plenty of opportunities to wonder. Reality, however, was entirely different from imagination, and that realization alone nearly unraveled what little composure he had left.
For a few moments the world seemed unusually quiet.
No arguments. No years of frustration sitting between them. Just the sound of uneven breathing in a dark hotel room. Eventually they pulled apart because oxygen was apparently important.
Jeongin stared at him in disbelief. His cheeks were flushed, eyes wide, he looked completely lost.
"What was th—" The question never finished.
Hyunjin couldn't help himself.
The distance between them lasted barely a second before he leaned forward again, cutting the sentence short. The years seemed to collapse inward all at once. Every failed attempt to get noticed, every unnecessary argument, every childish scheme designed to get a reaction. Looking back on it now, Hyunjin could only arrive at one conclusion.
He had been an idiot.
Because if he had acted with even a fraction of common sense, none of those years would have been wasted. He wouldn't have spent so much time creating problems just to keep Jeongin's attention. He could have simply been honest. And maybe, just maybe, he would've had this chance a long time ago.
The thought established heavily in his chest. But despite all the mistakes, Jeongin was still here, still giving him a chance.
Hyunjin finally pulled back enough to meet his gaze properly. For the first time all night, there wasn't a trace of teasing in his expression.
"I'll make it up to you."
Jeongin blinked. "What?"
"Every stupid thing." Hyunjin's voice was low but steady. "Every time I made your life harder than it needed to be." Jeongin looked momentarily caught off guard. The honesty seemed to affect him more than any joke or apology had.
Before he could respond, however, the balance between them shifted.
In one smooth movement, Hyunjin switched their positions so they were facing each other properly on the mattress.
Now that Jeongin was pinned beneath him and Hyunjin was leaning over him, the reality of the situation seemed to hit both of them at once. Hyunjin looked down at him for a long moment before letting out a quiet breath.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "For every fucked-up thing I did."
Jeongin's flushed face immediately tightened into a suspicious expression. "That's a lot of things."
"I know." Hyunjin laughed softly. "Probably more than I can count." His gaze lowered for a moment. "Now that I think about it, it was so stupid. I should've just talked to you directly instead of doing all the ridiculous things I did."
Jeongin stared at him. There wasn't any smugness in Hyunjin's expression which made it difficult to stay angry, and irritated Jeongin further. "You really are an idiot. A massive one."
"The biggest. I'll accept that."
The easy agreement caught Jeongin off guard. Before he could think of another insult, Hyunjin leaned closer and pressed a light kiss near his jaw. The gesture was unexpectedly gentle, completely different from the infuriating man Jeongin had spent years arguing with.
"Give yourself to me, Jeongin," Hyunjin murmured quietly. "And I'll take care of you." His voice softened further. "I'll give you everything I took from you. A thousand times more."
The words made Jeongin's breath catch. He hated that they affected him. Hated that after years of annoyance and frustration, one sincere apology and a few honest sentences were enough to make his chest feel tight. His cheeks burned hotter as he looked away.
Hyunjin noticed immediately. The smile that appeared on his face was small but impossible to miss.
"You're pretty."
"Shut up."
Instead of listening, Hyunjin moved closer again. His attention lingered on Jeongin as though he was trying to memorize every reaction. Every expression. Every tiny shift in emotion. Years of wondering and wanting seemed to sit behind his eyes.
Jeongin could feel his pulse hammering in his chest. The room suddenly felt too warm. Too quiet. Before Jeongin could do something further, Hyunjin held the hem of his pants and slowly started tugging them down.
"What the hell are you doing?" The question died on Jeongin's lips almost as soon as it left them.
His face was burning. Every ounce of confidence he'd managed to recover during their argument seemed to evaporate under Hyunjin's play. It was deeply unfair. After years of being a menace, Hyunjin had apparently decided honesty was his new personality trait.
"Making up for it," Hyunjin said.
The answer was so immediate that Jeongin almost choked..
"That is not an explanation." Jeongin groaned and covered part of his face with one hand. The fact that Hyunjin was enjoying his embarrassment so much only made things worse.
Hyunjin slowly pulled his pants down before looking back at Jeongin, quietly asking for permission. A part of him was expecting a kick but there is nothing better than trying. Jeongin looked at him through his lashes, eyes half hooded. He was too shy to nod so he reached out his hand grabbing a pillow and covering his face with it. He made sound that resembled okay but it was muffled. Hyunjin smiled looking at his cute antics.
Hyunjin slowly pulled his boxers down too and jeongin instinctively reflexed his legs that were now bare to the cool in the room. Hyunjin held them, nipping and the insides of his thighs. Jeongin let out another sound that resembled to a moan.
“Your skin is as soft as of a baby.” Hyunjin commented as he lightly pinched the same area he just nipped.
“SHSHHH.” Jeongin screamed from underneath the pillow.
Hyunjin chuckled before he shifted his attention to Jeongin’s length. It was the same shade of pink Jeongin knees were. Hyunjin had a weird habit of noticing absolutely absurd details.
He slowly held it. The moments his fingers touched it, Jeongin hips buckled up. Hyunjin smirked before giving it a light squeeze. Jeongin was already at the edge. It was his first time and he didn’t know what to do. Just when he thought he was getting used to it, he felt Hyunjins rough tongue swirl over his tip. The tingling sensation almost made Jeongin double over.
“Hnghnn.” Jeongin threw the pillow from his face, replacing it with his hands. Hyunjin after tormenting his with his tongue opened his mouth taking his length in. Jeongin arched, letting out a broken cry. He wanted to keep hiding his face but he also wanted to see what expressions Hyunjin have on right now?
Jeongin peeked and Hyunjin was looking at him while trying to fit him in his mouth. His doe eyes were looking at him with so much love that Jeongin only turned redder. The same guy Jeongin wanted to punch every fucking time he saw, had his dick in his mouth right now.
Hyunjin held Jeongins hips, taking him deeper. Jeongin let out a breathy moan.
“Hy..Hyunjin… take it out…. I will cum.” Jeongin managed to say.
Hyunjin listened and continued what he was doing. Jeongin tried grasping the bed sheets to hold himself back but the moment Hyunjin fastened his pace, the rhythmic brushing of Hyunjins lips against his length made it impossible. He came directly in Hyunjins mouth .
“I .. told you…” jeongin said between gasping. “Take .. it out.”
Hyunjin looked at him before taking out the load from his mouths and dripping it over Jeongins hole.
Hyunjin gave a light squeeze to Jeongin's hips before slowly moving his hand toward Jeongin's entrance. Jeongin was already wet there, so there was no worry. Hyunjin smiled softly, his eyes never leaving Jeongin's face as he gave him plenty of time to adjust and prepare himself. The moment felt strangely quiet despite the tension hanging between them.
Only when he was sure Jeongin was ready did Hyunjin slowly push a finger inside. Jeongin hissed at the unfamiliar sensation, his body tensing for a brief second before he forced himself to relax. He took a slow breath and quickly managed himself, adapting to the change. Seeing that, Hyunjin's smile widened slightly, a hint of approval and reassurance crossing across his face.
“We will take it slow.”
Jeongin hated how much he wanted to stay in that moment. He hated the warmth curling in his chest whenever Hyunjin looked at him like that. Most of all, he hated that a part of him wanted more, even though admitting it felt like surrendering after years of stubborn resistance.
"You're staring," Jeongin muttered, trying to recover some fragment of his dignity.
A quiet laugh escaped Hyunjin. "And you're looking back. So we are even I guess."
As Hyunjin gradually began fastening his pace, the change made Jeongin even more aware of every sensation and every second that passed between them. It wasn't just the closeness that was affecting him. It was the fact that Hyunjin was looking at him as though he were the only thing worth paying attention to in the entire world.
A faint smile curved Hyunjin's lips.
"You look very pretty like this." The words landed harder than they should have.
Jeongin immediately opened his mouth, but the response never came. His thoughts seemed to scatter before he could grab hold of them.
Hyunjin chuckled quietly at the rare sight. "Lost for words?" he teased.
"Shut up," Jeongin muttered, though the reply lacked its usual bite.
The grin on Hyunjin's face only widened. For once, he wasn't provoking Jeongin just to start a fight. He simply seemed to enjoy watching the other man struggle with the attention. And judging by the warmth creeping up Jeongin's neck, that attention was becoming far more dangerous than either of them wanted to admit.
…………
The moment Hyunjin noticed how completely Jeongin had let his guard down, he withdrew his finger from Jeongin's entrance, pulling it away and breaking the spell between them.
The sudden absence of his finger from his hole left Jeongin blinking in confusion. The change was immediate, leaving him startled by the emptiness that followed. A second ago, the tension between them had felt overwhelming. Now there was only silence, and somehow that felt even worse.
Jeongin frowned. "Why did you stop?" The question slipped out before he could stop it.
Hyunjin's lips curved into a smug grin. "Interesting question."
Jeongin immediately realized what he had just admitted and groaned, covering his face with one hand. "Don't."
"Don't what?" Hyunjin asked innocently while locking Jeongin’s fingers with his.
"Don't make that face."
A laugh escaped Hyunjin. "What face?"
"Shut up."
The warning only made him chuckle harder. Their hands remained locked together as Hyunjin stayed close, his length resting at Jeongin's entrance while giving him time to adjust. As Hyunjin slowly started pushing in, Jeongin took a slow breath, trying to steady himself. Every inch of Hyunjins dick made him acutely aware of Hyunjin's presence, and the sensation of being stretched left him feeling vulnerable in a way he wasn't used to.
Jeongin closed his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by the intensity of everything happening between them. Hyunjin remained close, and the awareness of his length, combined with the depth of their connection in that moment, made Jeongin's heart race. The room felt strangely quiet, as though the rest of the world had faded away, leaving only the two of them suspended in a fragile moment neither had expected to reach.
When he finally looked up, Hyunjin was already watching him. There was no teasing in his expression this time, no smug remark waiting to be delivered. Just concern and patience, as though he was waiting for Jeongin to decide whether he wanted to keep moving forward.
A small nod was all Jeongin managed.
Something softened in Hyunjin's eyes.
For a brief moment, Hyunjin's pulled out his length slightly, giving Jeongin space to change his mind if he wanted to. When Jeongin didn't move away, instead looked eager, Hyunjin pushed his length back in, while brushing his forehead against Jeongin's. The gesture was simple, yet it carried more meaning than either of them could put into words.
Jeongin let out a shaky breath. Before he could become self-conscious about it, Hyunjin tilted his chin upward and kissed him. The kiss was surprisingly gentle, stealing away the tension that had been knotting itself inside Jeongin's chest. For once, there were no arguments, no rivalry, no endless bickering. They were simply moving forward together, one uncertain step at a time.
He gradually fastened his pace, and Jeongin's body arched instinctively, his breath catching as Hyunjin drew closer.
Hyunjin's eyes never left his face. There was something almost unfair about the way he looked at him. Jeongin felt his cheeks warm under that attention and immediately looked away.
A quiet chuckle escaped Hyunjin.
"You know," he said softly between steady thrusts, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from Jeongin's forehead, "you've always been the prettiest person in my eyes."
Jeongin froze.
"And right now," Hyunjin continued, a small smile tugging at his lips, "you look even more beautiful."
Jeongins heart was beating far too fast for any of those things. All he could do was stare at Hyunjin in stunned silence while Hyunjin smiled at him like he'd just confessed a secret he'd been carrying for a very long time.
"Don't look at me like that," Jeongin muttered weakly.
Hyunjin laughed softly, leaning his forehead against Jeongin's. The old rivalry between them felt very far away now, replaced by something warmer, something that made Jeongin's chest ache in the best and worst way possible.
Jeongin could’ve paid more attention to what he said but something changed the moment Hyunjin slightly angled himself and thrusted forward.
Jeongin's reaction was immediate and intense. It felt as though the movement had brushed directly against his prostate, sending an unexpected sensation through him. A sound escaped his lips before he could stop it, one that surprised even himself. The feeling left him momentarily tangled in the overwhelming rush of emotion and sensation.
Hyunjin noticed immediately.
That reaction was all the cue he needed. A knowing smile sparkled across his face as he continued thrusting in the same position, watching Jeongin carefully. There was no mockery in his expression, only a quiet satisfaction at seeing Jeongin's carefully maintained composure begin to unravel.
"Jeongin." The simple way Hyunjin said his name made Jeongin's heart stumble.
Jeongin tried to bury his face in the pillow again, partly to hide the heat rushing to his cheeks and partly to escape the intensity of Hyunjin's gaze. No matter what angle he turned, he could still feel Hyunjin's attention fixed on him, warm and unwavering. Worst part was that, hyunjin was now hitting the same spot again and again and it was making Jeongin dizzy.
“If you keep..hi..hitting three.. I .”
Hyunjin knew what to do.
……………….
The room had fallen wonderfully quiet.
Jeongin sat curled beneath a thick blanket, his legs tucked beneath him as he leaned comfortably against Hyunjin's chest. The earlier tension and intensity, including the lingering memory of their emotional climax and the final thrust that had left him breathless, had faded into a pleasant exhaustion. They were both watching out of the window at the quiet city.
Hyunjin's arm rested around his shoulders.
A sudden movement outside the window caught Hyunjin's attention. He tilted his head toward the glass.
"Look."
Jeongin followed his gaze. Thick, heavy snowflakes drifted from the dark sky, covering rooftops, trees, and distant streets in brilliant white. A small smile appeared on Hyunjin's face.
"It's a white Christmas."
Jeongin watched the snowfall for a moment before smiling too. "Yeah."
His voice came out softer than intended. The sight was beautiful. The entire city looked as though someone had dusted it with powdered sugar. Hyunjin rested his chin lightly on top of Jeongin's head.
"You know what people say about the first snow?"
Jeongin immediately narrowed his eyes. "That already sounds suspicious."
Hyunjin laughed. "They say if two people watch the first snowfall together, they'll stay together."
Jeongin slowly turned his head. The side-eye he gave Hyunjin could have frozen lava.
"Who says that?"
"People."
"That's not an answer."
Hyunjin grinned. Jeongin rolled his eyes so dramatically that Hyunjin nearly laughed himself breathless.
"You're impossible."
"And yet," Hyunjin replied, squeezing him slightly closer, "here you are."
Jeongin opened his mouth to argue, instead, he settled deeper against Hyunjin's chest.
"I'm tired."
The admission came quietly. Immediately, Hyunjin's teasing expression softened.
"I know."
Jeongin's eyes were already beginning to close.
The warmth of the blanket. The steady rise and fall of Hyunjin's breathing. The snowfall beyond the glass. Everything seemed determined to pull him toward sleep.
A gentle kiss brushed the corner of his mouth.
"Just stay awake for some moments."
Jeongin groaned dramatically.
Hyunjin chuckled. "Just drink the soup I ordered first."
"I don't want soup."
Outside, snow continued to fall, covering the world in white.
Hyunjin adjusted the blanket around his shoulders. "The soup will make you feel better."
Jeongin rolled his eyes. Before he could think of another comeback, Hyunjin leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead. Then another. As though he simply couldn't help himself. When he finally pulled back, his expression had softened.
"I'm sorry."
Jeongin blinked. For a second he simply stared at him. "I forgive you."
The answer came just as quietly. Hyunjin immediately frowned. "Don't do it so easily."
Jeongin laughed.
"What?"
"You should make me suffer a little."
"Oh?"
"At least pretend you're angry."
Jeongin considered it thoughtfully. "Okay."
Hyunjin narrowed his eyes. "Are you mad?"
He leaned closer, practically shoving his face into Jeongin's. Jeongin burst out laughing.
"Fuck off."
Hyunjin looked scandalized. "I apologize from the depths of my soul and that's the response I get?"
"You were literally bothering me five seconds ago."
"I was being charming."
"You've never been charming a day in your life."
Hyunjin gasped dramatically.
"You wound me."
Jeongin let out a giggle. He was smiling now. A smile that reached his eyes. One that made him look younger somehow and happier.
Hyunjin's arms tightened around him. The snowfall continued beyond the window. The hotel room remained quiet except for the distant hum of the heater. Then Hyunjin broke the silence. "I'm so happy right now." The honesty of it made Jeongin look up.
Hyunjin wasn't joking. His thumb brushed gently across Jeongin's hand. "I promise I'll keep you as happy as I can."
Something tightened in Jeongin's chest. The way Christmas lights glowed on cold winter nights. The way home felt after a long journey. The way first snow looked when you watched it with someone you loved.
"You better," Jeongin murmured.
Hyunjin smiled. "I will."