Chapter Text
Feng Xin had been in love with Mu Qing for longer than he cares to admit. He barely cares to admit he loves the other god at all especially with the fact that Mu Qing wouldn't take kindly to such a confession. He'd probably make sure there was a Feng Xin shaped hole in the wall of the newly built Palace of Thousand Lights, where all heavenly meetings now took place. So, to prevent property damage, keep the peace in the new heavenly capital and to protect his fragile heart, Feng Xin would forever hold his peace. Or at least, that was the plan until a rather unfortunate mission.
He received many prayers from a temple deep in his territory. All at the same temple. A ghost had placed a curse on many people, a curse that caused plants to grow inside different organs. It seemed like it could be any organ, be it skin, eyes, heart or lungs, either way it had to be stopped. Thousands had died and even more had become permanently disabled. He was ashamed he had let it go on this long but it had barely been a year since the fall of Jun Wu so all the remaining gods were rather tied up. No matter what, this ghost had to be caught. So he left.
The ghost was easy to find, she left a trail of flowers wherever she went. Roses of many colours. It would be rather beautiful if it wasn't for the fact that these very plants had stolen the life of so many innocent people. Feng Xin followed the trail swiftly but quietly, if he could surprise the ghost, this could be over so much faster and honestly that's all he wanted. This to be over so his people were safe and he could go back to rebuilding his home.
"Armour is loud. Don't wear it if you're trying to hide." A woman's voice, coming from behind him. "Hello, General."
Feng Xin turned around to he see a rather gorgeous, yet terrifying, woman. Her skin was pure white and her hair was long and as black as a night sky, it was wavy and was decorated with light pink flowers. One of her eyes was covered with a lotus flower and the other was a deep brown. It was clear she had been a beauty in life and even now, her beauty still lingered. "You. You are the only who has cursed my land."
"Curse is such an ugly word and I despise all things ugly. Really I've blessed those sorry place. There is more love here than ever." She walked around him, spider lilies now growing wherever she stepped. "Who wants to live if the one they love doesn't want them? I'm doing these poor people a favour…"
Feng Xin drew his bow, aiming at her. "You've killed thousands. And you dare say you helped them?!"
"Oh but I did! Those who died had the choice to live… I told them how… They chose death." She smiles, petals fell from her mouth, all coated in a thin layer of blood. "They chose death. And now they roam for me."
"…what…"
"They all died feeling resentful, lonely and with such a powerful love deep within their souls, they quickly became ghosts. All of which I have nurtured. They are home now. Safe now."
Feng Xin was frozen in shock. He didn't understand. How did she manipulate people into dying and following her?! Qi Rong managed it but he only manipulated those already dead and honestly, it took him over 800 years to gain any recognition (and now he is a ghost flame being carried by an 11 year-old boy.). This woman has manipulated thousands of the living to die. Their resentment enough to return as ghosts but not strong enough to turn on this woman.
"Put down your weapon general. Let's talk. I know that's what you really want. You don't want to kill me, not yet. You want answers. Lower your bow and I will give them."
He didn't. Women were scary enough but a woman who had done what she had done? Terrifying. Too terrifying to let his guard drop. But she was also intriguing enough for him to hesitate to shoot. A fact she clearly noticed and quickly took advantage of. He was grabbed from multiple angles by vines, so fast he couldn't react. His bow had dropped to the floor and the more he struggled, the tighter the vines held him. "Let me go. Fight me with honour or-" a vine was shoved into his open mouth causing him to gag and choke. His eyes watered and he tried to pull away but the more he tried, the tighter the binds. He was completely unable to move or talk, all he could do was glare and so he did, though he knew it was a weak glare as he was drooling slightly and tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"You want to know about my curse, correct?" The vines forced him to nod. "Then you'll allow me to show you?" Again, the vines made him nod. It made him feel sick to be forced to agree but what else could he do? If he struggled much more the vines would crush his bones. "Good. Here is my curse."
She placed a hand on Feng Xins upper abdomen and let something pierce his skin. Another hand was on his shoulder, almost as if she was trying comfort him as she searched his insides and placed something in him he may never escape. He wanted to scream from the pain and the fear of it all but the vine in his mouth stopped him. Something was crawling through his body, touching his organs, almost as if it was picking where to go until finally, it made it's decision. His lungs. The curse stabbed through his lungs causing blood to come up his airway but the vine prevented any blood from actual leaving his mouth, causing the metallic liquid to be stuck on his tongue. It made him feel sick. So sick he barely noticed the weight in his left lung. A new weight, as if something was trapped inside the walls of them. The agony had finally stopped, leaving only discomfort in his body but the terror remained, even as the vines let him drop to the ground, the terror, discomfort and vulnerability didn't leave. But luckily, his mouth was finally free from the vine and he could finally spit the blood out of his mouth and let the vomit out instead of having it burning his oesophagus.
"Good luck general. I hope you join us soon." And with that, she was just…gone. Feng Xin was still gasping for air and spitting blood to the ground. All he could do was the stare at nothing trying to understand what the fuck just happened. Never had he been that vulnerable, or at least never had he been that vulnerable against his will. He felt sick. It took him what felt like hours to have the strength to move, and even then, he knew he couldn't face any other gods after he had just failed to protect his land and was…assaulted? Cursed? He didn't quite know which or if it was both but he felt disgusting, he felt violated, as if his body hadn't been his own.
Feng Xin struggled to his feet and started to walk, walk anywhere, he needed water, water to drink and water to cover himself in. He needed water. So he walked. His legs trembled under the weight of his mind and his lungs emptied and filled like normal but something was not the same. An object was blocking part of his left lung and it stung. It felt trapped inside the flesh walls, shallow enough for air to be forced around the new lump but deep enough inside the wall to not be at risk of falling fully into his lung. As of right now all it was was uncomfortable…
Finally, after walking for what felt like hours walking, there was a river or, more accurately, a stream. A small, weak current with shallow water, barely deep enough for even his hands, but it worked well enough for his purposes so he cupped his hands and let the water pool in his palms. Once he had drank as much as possible, he splashed himself with it before going for more. He started to clean the small wound on his abdomen, or that's what he told himself. In reality he was tearing into the skin of his abdomen like he was trying to remove it from his body. There was more blood than water pretty quickly and he looked like an utter fool. But he still felt the shadow of her hand on him. The feeling of the vines holding him, the feeling of them forcing him to move, forcing him to say 'yes', taking away his autonomy. The nausea resurfaced and he threw up again in the grass. A single petal fell from his mouth, something he himself didn't even notice.
He finally stood after vomiting more and letting himself cry into the silence, he knew he had to return home. There was no way he would let anyone look for him and find him like this, he had no excuse for why he lost this fight, she hadn't even seemed that strong, but then again, looks can be deceiving. He couldn't let anyone near her, not until they knew more. She was dangerous, she would kill them, she wasn't afraid and that is what makes her terrifying. She isn't afraid.
Feng Xin didn't remember his trip back to the heavenly capital, his mind was somewhere far far away. He knew what had happened, knew he had been powerless, knew the power she had had over him and it all made his skin crawl. His body had been hers to alter and she had done so. She has done what she wanted and then left with not sign of regret, if fact she seemed proud of herself. Remembering her face, her touch and voice made him want to vomit again. He needed to vomit. He was suddenly dragged out of his trance by someone grabbing his shoulders and yelling his name. Mu Qing.
"What the fuck happened to you?!"
Feng Xin looked up, trembling. Panic was ripping through him, he couldn't move. The hand on his shoulder felt like it was burning through his skin but he couldn't move. He couldn't get it off of him. He couldn't say no, he couldn't push away, he couldn't do-
"Feng Xin..? Feng Xin!" The world stopped. Everything was a blur as he fell to the ground gasping for air. Something was shaking him, something was talking. And then there was nothing.
When Feng Xin woke, he was in his own bedchamber which was…weird. He didn't know how he felt about it. It didn't feel right to be here, but it was where he was meant to be. He slowly sat up and the weight in his lungs forced the memories to resurface. The vines wrapping around his body, the stab through his shoulder, the feeling of a vine touching his organs before finding the one it wanted to leave a reminder of the event in. Tears were forming in his eyes when the door swung open. Two people were walking in. Mu Qing and Xie Lian. Both noticed him sitting up and both noticed him crying.
"Feng Xin! Are you alright? Does anything hurt?" Xie Lian rushed to his side and tried to touch him but Feng Xin quickly flinched away.
He was shaking with fear and panic. The tears rolling down his face more readily. He didn't look like himself in this terrified state, he didn't feel like himself either.
Xie Lian froze and pulled his hand back. "Feng Xin… what…happened..? All we know is that you went to answer a prayer about a ghost who was cursing people and then you came home…incredibly dazed, with blood and vomit down your front… What happened…"
He shook his head, holding himself. Pushing himself away from Xie Lian and Mu Qing. Mu Qing hadn't moved but rage was evident on his face. Feng Xin prayed Mu Qing wouldn't talk. He couldn't take an argument with him right now. Normally hate would be better than being ignored by the one he loves because at least hate was a strong feeling but being no one right now felt like the ideal situation.
"G-go…please… just…I need to be alone for an hour just-…go…"
Mu Qing opened his mouth to speak but Xie Lian quickly spoke over him "of course, please call us if you need anything… or if you just want some company okay?"
Feng Xin nodded and watched as they both left. Mu Qing looked even more furious as he was dragged out by Xie Lian. Honestly Feng Xin didn't understand why Mu Qing was so angry and it also made him rather sad. Mu Qing was a gorgeous man, no one could deny it, but when he was angry, that scowl always lay across his face and it wasn't ugly but god his smile was so much prettier. With that thought, the uncomfortable weight in his lungs moved. Or rather is seemed to grow? Either way it was now uncomfortably poking at the walls of his lungs causing him cough aggressively into his hand.
Finally, he caught his breath again and got up. He had to find that ghost. The thought caused shivers up his spine and panic to grip at his chest but she was right. He needed answers. And how would he get answers without talking to her. Unfortunately, even thinking that caused his legs to become weak and his breathing to rapidly increase, and he fell to the ground, desperately trying to calm down and push her face out of his mind.
"…Mu Qing…I can't let you do that.."
"You can't stop me."
The two other gods were still at the door. They were arguing. Feng Xin tried to block them out, he tried so hard until Mu Qing pulled him back.
"I'm going to find that damned ghost who hurt him. And I'm going to kill it." And then someone storming away.
Panic started to fill Feng Xin. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let Mu Qing become a victim of this, he couldn't let that woman curse him in the same way. So he stood and tried to run out. Only to collapse, his body weak.
"F-Feng Xin! What are you-" Xie Lian had heard him fall.
"Your highness…you have to…s-stop..him.."
"I-I tried, you know what he-"
"STOP HIM."
Xie Lian visibly flinched, but quickly regained his composure. "I'm sorry but someone needs to stay here with you. I will contact Lang Qianqiu to follow him…he is the only god available…"
"He-…no…please go to him, I can't…let him meet her… He-He'll get hurt…"
"Feng-"
"I'm begging you, your highness!"
"H-he asked me to stay here to make sure you were okay… I promised I would… he knows what he is do-"
"No. Not with this. He doesn't…I didn't know…she knows things, she DOES things…"
"…what does she do..?"
"Sh-she…she's done something to me, changed something. I can feel it, but i-…she said there…"
"Take your time…"
"THERE IS NO TIME. MU QING CAN'T GO!"
"Please, tell me why you're so adamant.."
"I-I…she…she can't be…- we can't win against her, if you- she- her curse-" he was shaking trying to recall the full encounter when…some of her words hit him. He hadn't thought much of it but now, it had to be part of the curse.
"Her curse… it's love."